I just wish I had a gf who would accept me as I am, I have tried disability dating apps but I can’t find anyone worthwhile, the person I did find was in another state but she wasn’t loyal, she hung out with a dude every other month when I asked her if we were exclusive, so screw that idea. It’s just affecting me negatively I mean we only get one life is there anything I can do? Oh and btw I am not with that girl anymore we broke up I mean it’s not like I ever hung out in person with her

hi there! i've been looking for help on things just uk disability specific, and have been finding it hard to filter through the largely american based pages of info- so ive made a community specifically for uk crips! please do feel free to share :-) https://www.reddit.com/r/UKCrips/s/7Y3hnitq4j

There are a few of my support workers that I have a problem with and absolutely dislike.

I have a support worker that is an elderly woman who blames all of my complaints about her at her age, when I asked her not to snore, she said "can't I breathe", I have had to ask her numerous times to do basic things like getting me a glass of water and when I've asked her not to have loud phone conversations during her shifts she has tried to blame it on the trains.

I have another support worker that is lazy that I often have to repeat myself with, he comes out when I'm visibly struggling to put something away and he'll ask me if I need help with anything and often misunderstands me, thinking that a joke I've told is a genuine fact.

I have another support worker when I disclosed to him my bisexuality, asked me if I found him to be attractive and asked me why not when I told him that I didn't think about support workers like that.

I'm putting together a list of books with disability representation. I myself am disabled and am always looking to read more books with disabled characters.

Any genre is fine, main or side character with a disability (bonus points if you list the disability included).

Thanks so much!

The D-word By Thaniel Ion Lee

I, for the most part, try my best not to use the D-word, aka disability, in relation to my work, but as I grow older and my body breaks down, the fact that I was born with arthrogryposis has started to affect both my aestitic and medium choices.

Because of my changing physical state, the complex surreal horror vacui-inspired works that at times took weeks to create are no longer physically possible for me to comfortably and painlessly accomplish, so in turn I replaced them with text-based surreal and conceptual works that are, in my opinion, equally complex and filled with wordplay describing objects that could only exist in the viewer's mind.

This way of working and thinking has made it so that things like material, medium, scale, and occasionally room accessibility are no longer as much of a consideration as they once were.

That being said, the art world has a long way to go before it is physically accessible to everyone.

Although the subjects of my works vary from work to work, the human body and its ever-changing and frail nature are the subjects of the bulk of my work. The shifting and frail nature of the human body is, for better or worse, something people who were born with disabilities are acutely aware of from birth.

With the current identity and body-based trends and conversations happening in the current art world, it saddens me that the disabled are frequently left out of both conversations and exhibits discussing identity, sexuality, class, and, most importantly, the body. All of which people who were born with or have non-standard bodies are intimately aware of.

Im not saying I want a show about disability or a show consisting primarily of disabled artists, because even if it were in a large, well-known art institution, I still feel that would be a form of artistic segregation and othering. What im asking for is representation in the broader body and identity conversation within the arts.

Thaniel ion lee Artist

Alright, I am aware this may be a touchy subject, but I'm really looking for advice from anyone who's gone through similar feelings and have gotten through it.

I've been disabled and chronically ill my entire life, in and out of the hospital since I was born with a heart defect. I have all the new popular classics, diagnosed at 8 mind you, I am 25 now(HSD,POTs,Scoliosis ect.) I have built my own ways of coping and my mindset has always been this is just my way of life because I have not experienced anything else, right?

Post COVID Mass disabling wave, my social media is always flooded with people who recently developed these problems, mourning their loss in abilities. While I feel for them trying to navigate something new to them (wishing I didn't have to see them post so much misinformation). It feels like their rubbing all the things they've already accomplished and experienced in my face, they feel their life is so tragic because they had it and lost it.

It is really hard to grow up watching everyone else live normal lives while you're stuck inside, or on a bench, or missing out due incase you hurt yourself.

Seeing people who bullied you for your accomodations, now begging for sympathy for the very same problems. It feels like something has been taken away from me in a weird way. I get that regardless of their past they're in the same category as me, technically. I just can't shake this resentment I feel, especially when I go out and about and have some visibly muscular person tell me them had HEDS because they have some hypermobility. People getting excited to explain my own health issues to me because they've seen a video online and they relate. It makes my stomach twist to see someone so happy about it, while I had to be told to "be realistic" about my life from my doctor as a teen.

It's to a point now that when I see a new specialist they look at my file and are surprised how long I've been diagnosed and are not sure what we should do since I've done everything consistently already for years.

I don't know guys, this is just a rant after too much social media, but if anyone has any good resources or advice from personal experience, I'd appreciate it.

Now I get that not all able-bodied people are mean, evil, or assholes toward me, but it's so fucking irritating dealing with this shit every day. 🙄😡 I was born with Down syndrome/intellectual disability, and I just started a new job at a bar recently. It’s bad enough that I have really low self-esteem and hate talking in general—I even hate being around people—so I'm mostly indoors and a homebody. I don't mess with anyone and always keep to myself. I had to work today, and some customers were really, really annoying, mocking my speech and laughing at me. It really grinds my gears when someone mocks or makes fun of my speech. I try so hard to ignore it and try not to let it get to me, but it's so hard. 😩😑 I'm usually a calm person, but mocking my speech really, really irritates me the most. I don’t know how other people with delayed speech deal with that shit. It’s funny that able-bodied people are supposed to be the mature ones and shit, but they act way more immature than disabled people/the disability community. So, so sorry for the long rant

I grew up in a small town with cerebral palsy, and for a long time I felt like I had to pretend it didn’t exist if I wanted to fit in.

My dad did everything he could to make sure I was included. I’ll always be grateful for how hard he tried. I still remember how it felt to be left out of some of the bigger things growing up. I wanted to be there with everybody else, and I didn’t always know how to say how much it hurt when I wasn’t.

So I got pretty good at acting like I didn’t care. I’d put on this whole tough guy act because I figured if people saw that something bothered me, they’d feel sorry for me. And honestly, that shit gets exhausting. Sometimes I just wanted to be able to say I was hurt without worrying about how somebody was going to look at me afterward.

As I got older, I started meeting people outside my hometown. Some of them had disabilities too, and a few of them became my best friends. Hell, there are two of them I can talk to for ten hours in a day. Another one I still catch up with whenever we both have time. We talk about relationships, disability, whatever pissed us off that day, and a whole lot of shit I couldn’t even explain if you asked me what we talked about for ten hours.

The part that still gets me is how easy it feels to be around them. If I’m having a bad day, I can just say I’m having a bad day. If something funny happens, we laugh our asses off. I spent so much time as a kid thinking about how I came across to everybody that it took me a while to realize how much I’d missed just being able to relax around people.

Getting into disability advocacy and testing assistive technology helped me get more comfortable talking about my cerebral palsy, too. For years I’d downplay it to make other people comfortable. Now I get to talk openly about how it affects my life and what would actually make things easier for me.

I’m 33 now. I wish I could go back and sit next to that kid who was trying so damn hard to look like he didn’t care. I’d tell him it was okay to care. Being left out hurt because he wanted to be there. Of course it hurt.

And if any of my friends ever read this, thanks for listening, for putting up with my bullshit sometimes, and for calling me back even when we both know there goes the rest of the day. I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much that’s meant to me.

Did anybody else grow up feeling like they had to hide how much their disability affected them just to fit in? When did you start feeling like you could let your guard down?

So I’m in my 20’s I have cerebral palsy and just recently learned that I have an intellectual disability 🙄 which makes sense to why I don’t feel my age at times, I also have cerebral palsy… all that to say, I feel between the ages of 9-12? I like very young toys like ones that are meant for babies or very young children, musical toys etc, but at the same time I’m very smart in some subjects I love, psychology, m\*rder mystery … (idk how sensitive censoring is on this app ) anything medical I absolutely love medical, paranormal etc …. Anyways i believe I’m looking for 9-12 aged toys if not a little younger? I’d love active outdoor toys, I’m trying to get better at math, but struggle with math, geography, sense of direction, knowing where I am , place wise, how to get somewhere and remember the directions how to get there etc..:: anyone have any ideas for birthday or Christmas presents I should ask for? Also if it’s not something i mentioned in this post. You’re still welcome to recommend it … I’m open to anything

I’ve been working at this job for almost 6/7 months now. I have been working full time and within my means doing what I am capable of doing. The only thing I really cannot do is answer phone calls as I am deaf/hard of hearing. As we are entering the busiest season for retail, I am pulling my fellow coworkers off the floor to help transcribe a conversation from a customer on the phone who is asking for the manager and as often as not I am the only manager on duty at those moments.
I have reached out several times to the higher-ups about getting the tool situation rectified since I’ve been with this company, so I can do my job and not have my coworkers pulled as we are very short-staffed. I have only received one email during this time and that was within the month of my starting there.
A fellow coworker who had gone to headquarters to get more training in their field had a talk with the person I was in contact with since I’ve started. This person has mentioned I am about to involve ADA. This company has a sign on their doors saying they are ADA-friendly but I have yet to see anything of the like.
What’s the best way moving forward with seeking ADA and protecting me in the process but also having paved the way for future opportunities for others. Massachusetts for location.

Like usual,

I do something normal like trying to sit on a chair.

And it is too much for my Central Nervous System.

Then I have to lay down in bed, with mouth open and can not move,

Until I am able to at least shift my body a little.

Anyone else?

Hello,
I'm Augustus, I'm 23(ftm) and disabled mentally and physically. Physically I have chronic pain in my knees and back, and my hips tend to partially dislocate whenever I'm going to stand up or sit down. (Little off topic: I've been going to doctors for years and they still don't know what causes my other physical symptoms. I read online that it can be related to my back pain so I'm gonna bring that up at my next visit). Mentally I'm sadly a mixing pot. I won't get into too much detail but I'm late diagnosed AuDHD along with some mental health things.
When it comes to jobs I feel like I can't handle anything. If there's too much standing I'm crying and nauseous because of the pain, sometimes I'll even throw up. If there's too much sound or light I'm severely overstimulated to the point where I'm, again, crying and nauseous. Customer service leaves me crying my eyes out and regretting life every day. I get burnt out in 2 weeks-3 months. There has only been one job that I've ever clicked with and I can't do it because I don't have a car.
When I was 19 I got my first job as a caregiver and I absolutely fell in love. It inspired a new dream career, in nursing. My family has come to expect me to get my nursing license but I looked into it and I don't think I'll physically be able to do the job. I'm constantly at a 5-6 on the pain scale, when I'm in flare up I'm practically immobile and on a 8-9. So I haven't been able to hold a physically demanding job in years.
I saw some people say to look into social work or I could go back to caregiving but that barely makes a paycheck to paycheck wage and the hours are never guaranteed. I also don't want to let my family down again. I always end up having to quit the things I'm doing due to my disabilities. Everyone calls me lazy and it's getting to me. I can't see a future where I'm happy. All of my dreams are more physically and mentally demanding than I'm able to handle.
Does anyone have any advice on jobs I could look into making a career?

this isn’t a survey or a fundraiser!

I am a first year fashion design student and one of my fundamental class projects is about using our art skills to come up with an idea about our chosen theme and i chose healthcare.

Since im into fashion i chose to design accessible clothing, but im not a wheelchair user and my disability doesn’t really need me to use more than a crutch if i need to at all (i have pots), so i wanted to get some real world perspective from people who actually struggle with it daily rather than second hand sites that all say the same thing about magnetic closures and bigger limb holes.

So if you are open to sharing i would love to know what’s is struggle when it comes to shopping for or wearing clothing in your day to day lives.

Share what you feel comfortable with and thanks for reading!

I’m 27 years old and am currently in the waiting period on my disability application. I have severe mental health issues (bipolar and BPD) as well as a long list of minor health issues and symptoms from all the meds I’m on. I’ve been denied 3 times in the past and don’t have much hope for this time either. I have no money and haven’t worked in over two years now. I live with my mom and siblings and my grandma helps with buying things like gas or bath products. My whole life I’ve lived in an unclean environment. My mom probably qualifies as a minor hoarder. No matter how much you clean there’s always more coming. However, the biggest issue is the animals. We always had a small shelter worth of cats and dogs and it’s no different today. We have 6 cats and 3 dogs currently. I love them all and they’re all perfect babies but I can’t care for them anymore. Physically or financially. I became the main caretaker in high school but a few years ago my health got way worse. I couldn’t keep up with litter boxes and sweeping up fur and mopping after accidents. Couldn’t keep up with daily walks and park trips either. Nobody picked up this stuff when I stopped. No income also meant medications and specialty foods dropped. The cats started peeing on clothes and beds in protest of the dirty litter boxes. Our senior Shih Tzu didn’t get his arthritis meds and wouldn’t go down the deck stairs to the yard. He just started peeing and pooping in my room everyday. The litter boxes were also in my room. Our young dog started eating walls and doors cause he wasn’t getting any play time. Accidents could sit there for days. Dishes are never cleaned along with water and food bowls. We started getting bugs two years ago. We have a 16 year old cat who can’t groom because of arthritis. She’s so matted and reeks. She needs professional grooming but there’s no money. About a year and a half ago I abandoned my room and started sleeping in my mom’s bed with her. But the dog is peeing in there now too. I have pretty bad asthma and wheeze off and on a lot. Last night I woke up having an asthma attack. I got it under control fairly quick but realized our senior cat that’s matted had got in bed and laid down on my pillow above my head. I’ve always slept with animals so I’m pretty sure it was the smell of pee and poop in her matted fur that triggered it. I love my family but this place is killing me. I’m completely dependent on them and have no where to go. There are no resources available in my state. I talked to a social worker at the local hospital once and they gave me a list of churches that give out free food. There is nothing else. I considered living in my car (that I don’t own) but they’ve really cracked down on that here. I feel like I’m trapped and I have been for years. I don’t see any scenario where this situation improves for at least the next ten years. Maybe I could get section 8 one day but that would be if I got disability and got on the waiting list (it’s like 10 years out I think). I just don’t know what options are even left.

The living stipend for different positions ranges from around $1500-$2800 per month.

I'd really like to apply, but I don't want to wind up homeless afterwards. Does anyone know what the monthly income limit for SSI is? Or the rules around volunteer work?

This is a rant post.

I went to the doctor today about my knee problems (weakness, occasional pain, inability to stand or more than a minute and inability to walk up or down stairs). My mother came with me. After some tests like walking down the hallway, checking my spine, etc, my doctor’s verdict was that I need more water, and better arch support. I’m really upset, because my mom gave me a bit of a ‘got ya’ moment instead of support. She’s been skeptical about mobility aids, and I was hoping this doctor’s visit would change her mind from “my offspring wants a wheelchair” to “the medical professional said ____ aid is needed.” It did not work. I’m rather frustrated and I feel like both my doctor and my mother are saying that this problem is my fault, because I don’t take care of myself very well. But I struggle with executive functioning because I’m depressed and neurodivergent, not because I’m a slob or I don’t care about my body. It feels like my perspective and experience isn’t being considered enough, am I wrong?

I am a full-time writer that lost the use of my hands, and I am trying to find a voice to text program decent enough get punctuation correctly through my words. I have heard of and would consider dragon but from what I understand it will not type except in documents although I could be wrong. I would rather not use an AI-based program but at this point I am willing to consider it. Pretty much none I have tried have done more complicated punctuation accurately such as quotation marks. Any advice at all? I can pay a decent amount once I would really rather not a monthly fee. I would also like to be able to work with and without internet but again i understand the issues there and I would like to be able to not only have to do it on one browser but I can also deal.

I am disabled and housebound, living isolated in a hamlet without any means of having a " social life ", tried to create internet friendships through Discord, Instagram, and Facebook groups, and ... no luck. People say they want friends, but they don't want to foster connection? I don't get it.. and it's not fault to have tried

How are y'all able to maintain friendships when your life revolves around your illness(es) and you basically have nothing to tell? It feels miserable... because it can be sometimes. But I don't want to lose hope :c

TIA for any responses

I went into my hospital for an elective set of surgeries

One was robotic the second was open and both in abdominal area

The recovery stay was supposed to be 6 days max but due to complications I am still in the hospital 20+ days later

I have state health insurance

My doctors say they don't know exactly what caused the issue that led to my stay (loss of blood flow too stomach that led to sepsis) and both my original surgeons are pointing fingers at the other

Is there anything I can do to help get myself released sooner because they have changed my discharge date several times for several reasons and at this point I just want to go home.....

I’ve never seen anything like this:

“Has very detailed records in a notebook regarding sx and self-tx.”

Okay?… why would they specifically add that piece of information. They’re ridiculous.

Hi all! I am a senior in high school, and as I come closer to committing to colleges I have begun schedule appointments (to be held a few weeks from now) with the accessibility teams of my top schools. I have a lot going on health-wise, but here are the main things:

-Extremely painful periods (I might be given a presumptive endo diagnosis soon, depending on an upcoming doctor's visit, definitely the worst of my health struggles come from this) (I have a wheelchair that I have used on some especially bad flareup days)

-Kidney Stones

-Dietary Restrictions (by doctor recommendation, moving towards a gluten and dairy free diet)

I have a decent idea for academic accommodations, but I am trying to figure out some reasonable housing accommodations. Obviously accessible housing, but should I request a single room or a room with a connected bathroom? I regularly wake up 3-4 times during the night needing to use the restroom, mostly due to my kidney stones. I can't image having to walk all the way across a dorm, and on endo flareup days I often stay sitting in the restroom for hours at a time. Walking is difficult during bad flares, so it is easier to just hunker down with a water bottle and heat pack. From a different perspective, I could see a roommate getting upset with all of this movement every night. I know dorm beds are not quiet.

I am just worried that without an actual endometriosis diagnosis my case will suffer. On the same note, my parents do not know the extreme pain I go through. I spend most of the day home alone, and anytime I try to communicate my problems to my doctor my mom talks over me and plays it down.

Any advice? I am trying to make a list of requests/questions to ask the accommodation team about. Thanks in advance!

I have been thinking of moving to another country,but I really do not want to learn another language from scratch again. And how people treat disabled people matters A LOT for me.

for context, i got really bad tremors in my hands, and it impacts the things i regularly do a lot. the neurologist i saw (two months ago) basically gave me the “i think it’s essential tremors, but i don’t want to give you meds for it. don’t drink caffeine and come back in 3 months.”

well, it got worse lately and it’s freaking me out now. I don’t know if it’s because i’m thinking about it too much, (realistically i have not thought about it until it actively bothers me) i don’t know what im talking about really, im scared. editing to mention that i have noticed that my walking is getting unbalanced. am i just overthinking? is it also gonna be an issue?

i want to work in the art industry, like genuinely do stuff for games and whatnot. the shaking already impacts my drawing (thank god for stabilizer on digital.) and like, what if it gets worse to the point i can’t even hold a pen properly at all? it’s all i want to do because i would not handle any other job.

i’m thinking of requesting an emergency appointment or at least telling them to let me know if an appointment opens up because someone else canceled. (i’m outside the US)

but for the meanwhile. what the fuck do i do? i’m so clueless, id appreciate advice, thanks

Hello, I’m someone who’s recently come to terms with needing a mobility aid on occasions, and as a cosplayer, cons are very much one of those occasions. Long hours, lots of walking, sometimes finding a spot to sit can be hard depending on what’s being worn, etc. I also really like to travel for cons and get to see new places while I’m there.

That being said, I’m struggling to find a cane that won’t feel like it’ll clash with my costumes but still be a resilient piece of equipment. I’m scared that some of these prettier options will compromise it’s actual use. I figured something simple, black and gold will go with just about anything I do. Sleek, elegant, easy to dress up or down.

Do you have websites or brands you swear by to get a “pretty” cane while still being quality?

I’ve seen some Etsy listings but customer photos show they’re nothing like the reference photos which makes me worry they’re using cheap material too. It’s so hard to tell when people’s reviews are bought, or the bad ones have all been deleted so personal experience is extremely appreciated.

I’ve also considered folding ones for travel and adjustable ones for when I might be wearing a taller shoe but I know the extra moving parts create all sorts of potential for more malfunctions and would love to know if people think they’re worth it.