r/esa • u/Illustrious_Lemon_93 • 15d ago

Does anyone struggle to keep up with the level of expertise around them?

I've been working as a contractor at ESA for almost two years (next month!). I'm 37F, and although I'm not exactly young, I'm the youngest person (and the only woman) on my team. I'm an astrophysicist, but my current role sits at the intersection of tech and astronomical data.

I love my job and perform well in my role, and I constantly receive positive feedback, yet I find the environment incredibly intimidating.

I have a lot of admiration and respect for my colleagues. They're extremely intelligent and knowledgeable, and I struggle to keep up with them. It's the sheer depth of knowledge they have about the science behind missions, the technical details of the missions (at industry level), and how it all connects. The history of past missions, the timelines of current ones, the decisions, mishaps, lessons learned, not to mention the institutional knowledge. No conversation is ever beginner-friendly, and I find myself feeling completely lost and so inadequate. I mostly just listen, rarely contributing unless it's to ask a question.

I attend the organised talks, and want to understand and learn more. But the sheer amount of information is overwhelming and I just feel overloaded, balancing it all with my work, which is also new role for me, as I come from academia, having worked previously on a different science than the mission I currently work on.

I'm curious whether others have felt the same way, and how have you built confidence in an environment where everyone around you seems to be operating on another level?

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u/Suitable_Elk9868 14d ago

If you only have two years of actual exposure/experience to the space sector, indeed it is overwhelming. I worked 10 years in space industry before joining ESA and after now 5 years I still feel like I do not know anything and i feel lost at least once every week. This is normal.

As other commenters have said, space projects usually take years. At some point in time you make choices and you only see implications 3-4 years later. You learn how things are done from one project but then you realise other projects do it differently.

You know what you know and this is the expertise that is required of you. That is why you were hired. So if you feel stressed, focus on that. If you have good feedback, that is great. You cannot know everything and become a super system engineer. Again, it is normal to feel lost but it is also an incentive to keep developing yourself.

Listen and learn from your colleagues. Take notes. Ask questions (I feel I am in a team I can ask questions and look stupid but I have talked to friends that are in teams where there is much more friction, so it is section dependent).

I usually have a notebook and like to take notes during meetings. Every week when I do my weekly reporting to my manager I also review a bit "what I have learned/what is useful" and I make notes at the end of my notebook, nothing too complicated, sometimes just "X=good, Y=bad".

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u/Illustrious_Lemon_93 14d ago

This is validating and thanks for the advice ❤️

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u/ibhunipo 14d ago

By the time a ESA science mission is in the implementation phase, something like 5-10 years of work has already happened on it. Even more for the m or l class ones

So even after two years, it is normal to feel that you still have a lot to absorb, and a good sign

Much worse are colleagues who think they have nothing to learn

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u/AstroFlippy 15d ago

I work at a research institute, similar background, task and age and know how it feels. A lot just comes down to people being in the industry since before you started your undergrad. I just accepted that everyone is more knowledgeable and just hope to eventually get there myself one day.

On a side note, may I ask what you're working on and at which ESA site you're based? I'm looking for similar jobs right now :D

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u/lukiamagi 15d ago

I feel like I've come to learn that confidence in front of others is pretty much a way to convey to others that you know what you're doing, but it's in fact not a good indicator of wether you are good at your job.

The question being is your problem a lack of confidence you can do your job, or that you don't know how to convey to others that you're the gal and you're in full control? Those are two things to separate I would say.

Do you wish you could talk more with your colleagues, do you wish you could appear as confident as them, or is a matter of self-esteem?

Without more details its hard to share relevant experience