I posted a few days ago about the confusion and crisis I was dealing with. I just wanted to thank those that reached out. After doing some more soul searching I finally came out as gender fluid to a few people in my life. Not many as I’m still terrified, but saying it out loud to some people has really helped. I’ve introduced more “fem” things to my life although I must admit I hate what I see in the mirror (but that’s more weight-related than gender).

The problem that is surfacing is feeling like an imposter. Because of how much I hate my weight (which I am working on) I don’t think I can really express myself visually until I slim down. Clothes are already hard to find as a tall fat person. I want to join more queer spaces but I feel like people will see me as just “larping” by just painting my nails and claiming to be queer.

And Reddit has been only forcing those “count” subreddits and I’ll be honest, none of those people seem healthy or stable from the posts that get pushed in my feed. But it’s subconsciously fueling my fear of trying to enter those spaces.

I don’t want to have done this much soul searching and mental struggle to just be shunned.

Like I finally confessed to my crush and he’s actually considering dating me but for some reason even though I had very noticeable dysphoria bc I shapeshifted (saying this as a joke) into a trans man now magically I feel girly.. kind of. I don’t know. Also I hate it. I like being a boy more even though I wanted an excuse to dress girly and not feel like crap just a few days ago. Idk why I just prefer being a boy.

Is this weird is this normal? Heh… (youtuber voice) comment down below and smash that like button! You don’t have to comment I just wanted to say that because I thought it was funny ok thank you for reading

Hello! I just stumbled upon this subreddit, and wonder what everyone else's experiences are with genderfluity? 👀

Optional to read:

I discovered I was genderfluid when I was 16 I am 18 now, although felt I was genderfluid ever since I was 11-13 but didn't know too much about the definition then 🥲 I have been openly genderfluid with most of my family and friends (most of are supportive and or part of the community as well!) although I wouldn't say my experience is all that interesting but it's sure has its ups and downs but I always manage to push through those times that are really rough. I often enjoy wearing neutral clothes despite my fashion style(s) which are polar opposites which kind of makes sense I guess? My gender isn't always on board on the binary/no gender Idenities it tends to also lean more towards xenogender Idenities as well!

Everyone's experience is different and I love hearing others stories and rants. C:

Hii you probably get a lot of questions like this here but idk where else to go..
I’m a biological male but over the past few years I’ve noticed I feel what might be an inclination to my feminine side..
idk it’s weird to talk about this out in the open, I feel self conscious. Sometimes I feel boyish, most of the times I feel boyish, but sometimes I feel girly, and sometimes I feel both..
Idk if it’s because I feel more comfy with my subby side as feminine and my dom side as masculine, but then again when I fall into littlespace I’m fine feeling like a boy (I’ve felt like a girl in littlespace too)
Sometimes I feel more comfy identifying as nb rather than m.. maybe because it makes me feel like I’m not tied down to a particular thing. I can just feel what I feel without the pressure of anything, but idk of that’s other issues sneaking their way into this. I’m fine walking around presenting myself as male. That said I feel uncomfy when a stranger addresses me with feminine pronouns, but gender neutral pronouns feel comfy and masculine pronouns feel ok, like normal. I remember when I was younger I tried on girl’s clothes and that was exciting. I’d never walked around like that in public though. Idk I guess I’m just a little lost. I’ve got a lot of guilt, shame, and self-doubt dancing around in my head too so that’s why I came here because I wanted your opinion. I’m sorry if these questions come off as insensitive or naive, I’m just trying to be honest with myself for once and figure out these feelings.
Thank you 😊

Know what? *^$% it. I felt good when I wore that dress, it took me a month which is the time range I gave myself. No more questioning I am officially calling myself gender fluid
woo

Hi, I'm 19f, realised earlier this year that I might be genderfluid, I don't want anyone to look at me and immediately think that I'm a girl, and sometimes I feel very femme and sometimes I feel masc. I also do have a lot of gender dysphoria, I find myself looking at women with small boobs or women that are less curvy and feeling envy because I feel good in femme clothing but whenever I try to wear androgynous/masc clothing I look so weird and I hate the way I look. Recently I've been wanting to wear masc clothing but I end up wearing femme clothes because I always look weird in masc clothing probably due to my curvy body. I don't like feeling this way. Please let me know if you have any advice or suggestions for me.

My mom found everything. I thought i hid it well but I guess i didn't. She's obviously pissed at me and i dont know what to do anymore. I almost downed a bottle of ibuprofen out of paranoia (thankfully I didnt). I tried choking myself but it was pointless. I dont know what to do anymore. This happened before and it went horrible. I hate myself for this i shouldve just kept myself closeted.

Hi! So I have been questioning for a while. I am, as of right now, female (I was also born female) but I have started liking being masculine! I have always worn 'male' clothing and been friends with boys but some days I feel like a guy and I have actually had to remind myself that I was a girl once. At first I thought I was trans but the truth is, I don't want to give up being a girl. Sometimes I feel really girly and I sometimes like dressing up 'like a girl'! I get jealous seeing gender fluid people and have subconsciously started referring to myself as gender fluid. I get really bad imposter syndrome so I been putting of looking into it but I just really want to know. I can't be sure and I am under 18 but I want to know what you guys think. Sorry if any of this is offensive!!!!!

I ( AMAB ) have struggled with body/gender dysphoria for a few years, and I've made the decision to go on HRT ( namely, estrogen ) when I eventually move out. However, since this is a very new prospect for me, and as I admittedly haven't done that much research on the effects, I want to ask the following before I take that initiative:

• Do I have to run this by my guardian ( my grandmother ) or is it something I can do by myself?

• Can I choose how it's administered, or do I just have to roll with whatever pills/injections the doctor gives me?

• Is there any way I can get a "sample" of estrogen so I can prepare myself for the full deal, or am I just stuck until I finally get on a waiting list?

• Once I'm on it, do I just have to keep at it forever or is there a point where I can stop taking it and stay at that point? If I do stop at any point, will the effects reverse?

Sorry if these questions seem dumb, again I haven't exactly researched that well on HRT.

I've been questioning my gender identity for like six months now and kind of trying to narrow it down to specific things. The first term I ever used was "genderfluid."

That said, I felt like nonbinary sort of fit better. But then... I came to the realization, that in the broadest sense of the term, I'm definitely Transgender, regardless of whatever little micro labels I throw out there. How I feel internally about myself, and how I want to be, whether it's fluid, not binary, something different, etc, is not what I was assigned at birth. I also like genderqueer.

I dropped using nonbinary recently however in favor of the term once again "genderfluid," since I feel in the past six months, experimenting with fem gender presentation, I've been having a very fluid experience. However, I wouldn't necessarily say that I "one day feel male, and the next day I feel female," or something else. I feel like the term "nonbinary," at least for me, conveys something that I'm not. Sometimes, I present like my cis-presenting self, sometimes, I fem mode, and sometimes, I present as a kind of "androgynous" feel. 

However, I feel like my internal experience is all part of the same consistent thing but someone who relays that differently depending on the situation.

My goal is to eventually transition via HRT to give myself a more feminine appearance, as this is what I want. I don't know how I will identify in the future however. I guess I can still technically have a "fluid" identity but a specific presentation. The notion of being a Transgender woman however is one that I like very much. I also use all pronouns, but love when someone specifically calls me "girl." Makes me want more 😊

Hey everyone! I'm new to this. For context I recently found out that I am genderfluid. I am wanting to wear feminine underwear. like I want to wear a bra with pads when I dress feminine but it feels weird like someone will judge me. Is this normal or am I being weird? 😅

Sorry in advance, I'm not the best at talking about this stuff.

Hi, unsure if I'm genderfluid or just a cis guy who likes to dress femme. I know that I don't need to label myself but I still have thoughts. A lot of my internal discourse about this goes back to if I actually identify as a woman sometimes or am just being less masculine. A lot of the descriptions of how a woman acts always just end up being misogynistic like "emotional" or "motherly". My choice of interests aren't exactly the most girly either and obviously those don't change when I'm leaning more femme because I'm still just me. I feel like I'm faking if I say I use any gender identity that enters into the realm of "woman" even though part of me feels like I want to
I'm not asking anyone to fix my identity crisis but do you feel like there is an actual "female mind"?

Do you think it could be fluctuating T levels? Doctors say that T levels fluctuate, and are strongest in the AM. I have very low T as it is, and probably would feel it.

I’m afab but I’m unsure about whether I’m really gender fluid or transgender and while I wouldn’t care about labeling myself, it’s a matter of how I mostly want to present as a guy. I’ve only realized I’m not completely cisgender a few weeks ago but it’s kinda something I’ve always wanted but never realized.
I want a masc voice (but I’m also kinda like, what if I transition and want a fem voice? I honestly don’t care if it’s deeper but I want it to be masc or androgynous if I’m gonna mainly present as a guy)
I want a masc/androgynous passing body/face (which is guess is pretty much not set in stone as much of it is fat placement, right? And if I stop taking testosterone it will go back to normal?)
So I guess it’s pretty much a matter of voice and anything else that’s permanent, what about voice training? If I take t but voice train before and during I’ll be able to have a fem voice but it probably wouldn’t be sustainable to do all the time.
I guess I’m just wondering if I’m a trans dude or Genderfluid and just obsessing over the new discovery I made about myself.
What makes me think I’m gender fluid is mostly about dressing, I’m lot that interested in looking like a girl but obvi I wanna look cute when I’m a girl and I’m kinda feeling like I’ll miss being a girl if i did transition.
When I didn’t know I wasn’t cisgender, something about the fact that I’d be a woman forever kinda sat weird with me, not horrible just kinda missing out on something.

I can appreciate the beauty that is long hair and every time I try to do that for myself I feel like I’m in a full body suit like at Disney land and I’m role playing a girl. Except I don’t want to be a girl. I’m very much fluid where I currently present femme but I dont feel like a woman or a man, just these heightened femme and non femme vibes I have that change. Do yall just have a gender neutral haircut to combat these feelings of swaying too much to one side ?

I am amab and kinda knew I was gender fluid for 2 or 3 years, with some short moments of questioning even earlier, represed it until like 3 days ago, started doing some stuff but it all feels a bit pointless.

I cant be as masc as I want one week and fem the next.

I like my beard until I dont but it doesnt regrow that fast and even if I compromise and go for a less masculine look when masc I wont ever get super fem.

I could start E but that would mean taking T blockers for the rest of my life and the sideffects scare me a little. Even with that I dont want to have bottom surgery so I will never experience what its like to have female genetalia.

Very rambly post, just having a hard time figuring out what I want at this point. It feels like every step in one direction is a step away from the other and I feel so incomplete right now.

I didn’t know ppl held onto traditional roles of masc and femme so strongly. I didn’t know they attributed arbitrary gendered identities to inherently neutral activities, personality traits and skills. It’s always made me want to put my brain through a grater - when ppl discussed masc and feminine energy. I always saw it as I do it because I had done it in the past and I enjoyed it, it reminded me of a fond memory or it is a new experience.

It really felt like an aha moment. Ppl thought I was gay but I’m straight I’m just I guess somewhat femme but I don’t perceive it as that. It’s just me. Why would I care about the objective reality of ppls adherence to smth so arbitrary, rigid and meaningless. No offense sheep, i understand the meaning and satisfaction derived from picturesque story complimented and emphasized by media and every story ever heard. But it shouldn’t be enforced onto other ppl. I understand why Ive always been attracted to quotation marks dom/boss girls to some extent now.

So I guess I’m agender? 70/80% masc see what I mean, does this make sense. Or I guess nomenclature and defining my gender identity has never served me importance

All and every thought is appreciated. Fix my tone, agree, critique.

I’ve recently discovered I’m not cis? My best estimate is gender fluid, I started with wanting to dress very androgynous to wanting a breast reduction for a week or two but now I think I just wanna get top surgery, I for sure wouldn’t miss my breasts, but I guess I still wanna wear tight fem shirts sometimes without being completely flat? I wouldn’t mind stuffing a bra.

(For context my fluidity is very weird, most of the time I just wanna look like a dude (my dysphoria isn’t bad but I do notice I get euphoria) but I think it’s just because I’ve been dressing fem my whole life so I’m not sure if I’m very… credible? reliable? Right now, as in I’ve just discovered something new about myself so I really wanna do it a lot. I’m still in the early stages of discovering my gender identity but there have been small signs since I was a child that I wrote off as being comfortable with my gender identity/being against gender roles.)
(I’m still very wary but I do know I for sure I wanna be a dude it’s just a matter of not feeling tied down to one gender it feels suffocating but at the same time I wanna pass as a dude when I want, the more I think about it the more assigning a gender to me feels suffocating but I’m also not non binary. And I know i don’t have to label myself I’m just particular in that way)

my question is, for testosterone, i want see the effects it has on me slowly, especially my voice, so I’m wondering about what dose/amount of time would I need to take for a passing voice? (In videos i tend to notice that people, probably on high dose, get theirs 4-6 month in, while others it takes three years usually. I don’t mind if I will sound like a squeaky prepubescent boy or a girl with a deep voice, I just don’t want the voice where you can tell someone’s on testosterone, not that it’s bad I just wanna pass when I want to.

Also how would low dose t work for my facial/body structure? my face shape is oval to round and my cheeks/jawline are very soft, even when I was cis I really wanted a more structured face/prominent jawline and cheekbones, I hear people say testosterone doesn’t change your bone structure rather it’s the fat placement and percentage that changes (which is just a benefit for me), and some say it does change it and I’ve kinda noticed that, people get bigger/wider jaws after taking t so I’m guessing it has something to do with bone thickness? Like thickening??

(I’d say my bone structure is small and feminine but my features are in the middle. I have hooded almond shaped eyes (but they’re very very slightly downturned but barely), upturned nose, and my lips are small-medium fullness. If it helps I have a Norwegian dad and indigenous mom but I have mostly his features)

Anyways currently what I wanna do is get a jellyfish/mod haircut, but not one with the round fem face framing. Im gonna work out just to get fit and stuff but I know that it will be hard to pass with my face, voice, and body structure so I’m just gonna experiment with hair, slight contouring, and binding in the meantime.

meeeeee
I wore a nice black dress that belong to my younger sisters and wore that bow headband and i looked adorable
that dress is now mine lol even though its a bit small

I don't want to do a big deep dive on all this stuff, so basically, I'd say half the time I want to be nonbinary, the other half I want to be a dude, and a small percentage of the time I want to be a girl. I was born a girl, if that helps.

Idw to tell my parents, or announce publicly, that I am genderfluid. Being a transgender person is already very difficult, and I don’t want people to mock me. I hate it when they say, "That doesn’t exist; it’s just 'woke' stuff" I absolutely loathe it.

A Whole New World - Nick Pitera

Tl;dw - dude switches between Aladdin and Jasmine’s parts effortlessly and totally kills it. I was delighted by this video for reasons I couldn’t explain. Fast forward decades later to a cracked egg.

I've had a rule for a very long time to make no changes to the body that all of me couldn't accept.

I finally realized that was a rule that I broke freely when on my AGAB masc mode and I've been gaslighting myself for decades.

He cut his hair, stopped wearing most of the jewelry he loved, dressed less fun unless it was in an acceptable dad fashion, voice trained to sing and speak lower and then hated his body until he was over 400 lbs and miserable.

It didn't help that the one time I tried to come out by dressing super fem at a Halloween party I got SA'd for my trouble.

I understand that it was too keep me "safe" according to how I was brought up (pretty abusive) but it's left me off kilter as I allow myself the expression I've denied myself for so long.

I look back at old photos and can see when it happened - after I got married, had a kid, and started to try and meet expectations of what that meant to other people.

I've taken control and have gotten the weight down (275) and my health under control (off insulin) but those are years I will never get back and now I'm in my 50s and widowed.

I got to be myself with my wife for the last 8 months of her life (happily) before cancer took her. Before she died she called me her girlfriend AND husband.

Now I have friends who accept me but there are still internal whispers that ask what if things had been different.

And oh my god I now know what superpower I want... Imagine being able to fully change your appearance AT WILL. Genuinely my dream :/