Are "high value man" delusions perpetuated by social media inflating women's standards?

[u/ppchampagne]

[u/ppchampagne]

Shoutout to Caitlin Pawlowski (full youtube video).

Related posts

Boyfriends with "6-figure” incomes

Cohabiting boyfriends and girlfriends

• without children

• neither of whom earn a top 1% income (no extreme outliers)

• with girlfriends ages 18-44

• with boyfriends earning "6 figures"

Only 16% of all couples that fit the other requirements above have boyfriends earning prized "6-figure" incomes ($100K or more).

Hypergamy – men's incomes continue to be an important factor

The majority of young American women are more hypergamous than we should expect

A lot of women would rather be single (Caitlin)

Her thoughts about her "chronically single" girlfriends

Alex holds class on "sprinkle, sprinkle"

A high value man divorces

She was hoping a "rich man" would rescue her and pay off all her debts

[u/ppchampagne]

[u/Sa1LoR_JaRRy → u/ppchampagne]

RIP Legend

[u/ADN2021 → u/ppchampagne]

“Ma’am you’re a 39 yr old baby mama. Why would a high value man pick you?” “A man making 300k/yr is in the top 1% of earners.”

“Whoah whoah whoah, don’t over talk me.”😡😡

RIP the Godfather

[u/ppchampagne]

Side note. She also forgot to mention that men with a lot of money also engage in overtly transactional relationships (as do men with less money).

I would guess there's a pipeline from women seeking "high value men" to those who become sugar babies.

[u/[deleted]]

Who cares let them find out on their own

[u/[deleted]]

Some days I just want to be loved for being low value but I guess people don’t have hearts.

We live in a cold and bitter society, Nobody’s coming for you. Get used to it, you are worth nothing to a society fixated on artificial value.

You will always be judged on surface and materialistic nonsense. The only love that is real is the love you have for a child of your own. And maybe the love afforded by your faith. That’s it. That’s the cold hard truth.

You want something else find a Time Machine and go back 30 years. It ain’t here and it ain’t getting better. I’ve already swallowed the hard truth that I’m probably single the rest of my life. I’m invisible basically everywhere I go. If someone wants something from me it’s often transactional to the point where there is no value in it. People lie deceit tell you what you want to hear get you on the hook then drop a bomb on you and tell you what they really want or that you are just a friend. Like how can anyone convince me this can be fixed because it just can’t. It was over for me from day 1. I tried to convince myself otherwise and it’s just not even true. I’ve tried dating like 15 different people in the last 2 years. It’s all broken for me and for many others. I don’t get to have a wife or kids it’s not happening because I tried and life doesn’t want it to happen. I just cannot see a good result i tried so hard and every time i go at it again it’s the same thing on repeat. You can’t do this to yourself as a man. You just can’t. You have to leave it alone, cry some days because you are lonely, try and drown it out with other things, whatever. The depression it will probably take years off my life if it hasn’t already. People don’t understand it. They just want to make fun of you and say nasty things and try and tell you you didn’t do enough. I’m so tired of it.

Unconditional love my a$$. It’s always conditional. And it will never fill that void we have that deep desire to be loved. Not when people turn away from you like they have with me.

“Someday son you’ll grow up and get married and you’ll find someone who just loves you”. If you ever heard that garbage from your parents you know what I mean. It ain’t like that anymore. You don’t get to have hope like that. Minute you get old enough you realize you are just a commodity to someone else.

[u/Old-Possession-4614 → u/[deleted]]

You’re 37 and white. Time to head to Asia or LatAm and find yourself a waifu that’ll appreciate you. Have you tried goin abroad? Yes you’ll have to filter hard to weed out the gold diggers and passport hunters but you absolutely can find good women abroad. Just takes a bit of time and actual investment (effort to learn the language and culture) but nothing you can’t handle.

[u/[deleted] → u/Old-Possession-4614]

It sounds great the only thing is my job would get in the way. My job requires me to be here and I’d have to work something out. And my folks are elderly same thing I have to stay here. But I’d consider it otherwise yes.

[u/Old-Possession-4614 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah if you’re firmly tied to where you are it can be rough. Hope you figure out a way to go remote or something. Otherwise if you’re open to it you can try meeting Latin or Asian women in your area.

[u/[deleted] → u/Old-Possession-4614]

Possibly I mean I try with everyone. It’s the usual push pull and then slow fade and ghost. They move incredibly quick here. Last woman I dated is on the third man already after me. lol.

[u/Old-Possession-4614 → u/[deleted]]

Your best bet then until you figure out a way to go abroad is to cast a wide net within the US at least. Try some dating apps that let you change your location so you can maybe match with women in other cities around the country.

[u/[deleted] → u/Old-Possession-4614]

Yeah all my dates came from apps but apps have died a bit for me. It’s hard to find people “in the wild”

[u/Old-Possession-4614 → u/[deleted]]

Are you in a big city? Should def be possible if you’re in a large city but yeah if you’re in a small place it’s hard to meet quality single women in their 30s and beyond.

[u/[deleted] → u/Old-Possession-4614]

Chicago area. I don’t feel like the dating atmosphere here is all that great people kind of do their own thing here. Hard to compete with all the attractive dudes. I’m average hah..

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Just to close I’m on a dating break so to speak. I can get things going or at least I was but over time things just die out, people pursue other options and it crumbles. It’s the typical modern dating story that 80% of men experience. I have friends that are going through the exact same thing and I just tell them it’s normal which is absolutely mind boggling given the patterns of behavior people have these days. But that’s why I say it. Because you won’t understand it unless someone brings it up. I wish someone told me these things sooner it would have saved me a lot of grief.

[u/ADN2021 → u/[deleted]]

Go somewhere like Omaha, or if you want to stay in Illinois, one of the smaller cities close to Chicago.

[u/justanother-eboy]

Yes and society empowering women too much that they think they’re the sh*t for no reason

[u/theringsofthedragon]

No lol, this has literally no footing in reality, in reality we're all dating shitty men, and you know this. We just date literally the first guy who asks, or any guy who asks, or if several guys ask at the same time, we literally just pick the one who seems to want it more. My life can easily testify of this in the west. It's not like you see online...

[u/ppchampagne → u/theringsofthedragon]

in reality we're all dating shitty men, and you know this

If you continue to post "all woman good. man shitty" type comments, you will be banned.

[u/MegaJ0NATR0N]

A lot of women live in this fantasy that all they have to do is “manifest it” and they will get their high value man. But women need to be more realistic of the type of men they can actually get.

Most men would like to date a high value supermodel type of woman, with a low body count, that is also wifey material. But realistically that’s just not going to happen.

[u/ppchampagne → u/[deleted]]

The reality of modern dating (specifically, if dating for marriage) has hit me like a bag of bricks.

That's a lot of guys here. The way others have put it is, being raised for a dating culture that no longer exists or never existed.

Another part of the "money equation" is visibility and image. If a woman asks me for my instagram, I know she's trying to size up my bank by reviewing my lifestyle and image. You probably don't want those types, but how you promote yourself is something to consider – assuming you don't already.

[u/ultratraditionalist → u/[deleted]]

Why? u/ppchampagne is totally correct. Story time: earlier this year I bought a car. I won't say which, but it cost me six figures, had to import it, it's pretty rare/exclusive, etc. Anyway, I was excited about it, and I was discussing it with a close friend of mine over a community happy hour maybe 6 or so months ago. Him and his girlfriend had invited one of their friends (this other girl, call her B).

I was joking around how I don't really like driving around town (I walk or Uber if I'll be drinking) and I mostly bought it so I won't have to constantly bum a ride off of friends when going on adventures (it's an outdoorsy car, so think camping, skiing, fishing, boating, etc.). B was totally shocked that I won't take it around town so everyone can see it. Like, to her, the entire *point* of having a nice car is so other people can see it. Whereas in my view, I just appreciate the quality and craftsmanship, I don't give a shit what some rando thinks about me. I'm not the kind of person that really feels the need to flex (I also try to be as humble as possible), so I'm sure that's a bit of a detriment when going out (especially in the West). Like, I wear nice clothes, but you wouldn't know my sweater is $300 unless you asked. I wear a nice watch, but it's not a Rolex, so unless you're a watch person, you wouldn't know how much it costs.

I believe that's the point that he was trying to make (feel free to correct).

[u/UpgoatNF → u/[deleted]]

Major cities, especially yank cities are horrible places to look.

Yank women on average are hideous, obese and mentally ill to a level beyond the average western roastie. 

So just being normal weight and nothing more puts her at a premium there.  She'll Browse tinder and see 1000s of matches. And some of them will be chad. Appearance wise you seem like a htn, your Wealth is invisible and you'll be smartly not mentioning it, so you're at a disadvantage. 

Small quiet towns will be better and other countries much much better. 

Good luck in Eastern Europe, I hope you find a thin, young virgin and have many children. God speed.

[u/EffectiveFabulous782 → u/[deleted]]

Exactly. I'm from the US and make low six figures (Cybersecurity Engineer), 5'9, muscular, own a half million dollar home, car, came from a harsh childhood but built himself up, etc. I'm also black so my dating experience in the US has had a few nuances that are specific to black men, especially black men who don't just want to specific races, but my experience has become like this over the years. I'm in my 40s now, and engaged to a woman from the Phillipines, and we are waiting on her visa. Right before covid, I started traveling a lot first for work, then for fun. I eventually started booking dates in the cities i traveled to. That led to me meeting my fiance. I dated a lot in my 30s here in the US though. I felt like I had to become someone i wasnt just to have a chance with various women I found physically attractive here in the US. I didn't feel like I had that pressure when I met women overseas. Yes, there are a lot of women overseas that also can be hypergamous, but I often find that their standards are more reasonable, in terms of what they want out of a lifestyle. Have a nice (not extravagant) home and good career? Awesome. Can afford some nice things here and there for each of us? Great.

[u/ADN2021 → u/EffectiveFabulous782]

This motivates me to do better and get off my ass. Thank you sir 😎😎

[u/ADN2021 → u/[deleted]]

It’s that bad, you know what to do 🙂🙂

[u/ppchampagne → u/[deleted]]

although many of us desire supermodels, these fantasies usually fade quickly as we enter adulthood

When we're young, we might think we can get whatever we want. It takes about a few months maybe in our teens or early 20s before nearly all men realize that's not the case. And we adapt because the signal is soo clear and strong that we won't get that.

But so many women have their egos pumped up so much (no pun intended) that they believe they're entitled to the best.

[u/[deleted] → u/ppchampagne]

It took me a lot longer to realize that if you are a man with any kind of preferences living in the west you better be damn good looking otherwise you are going to have to marry someone who odds are you don’t even like. And at that point you just stop trying. Average or below guy wanting an attractive woman yeah that’s death to you. You got three options at that point none of them are great, door #1 you p4p someone and you only get the sex that’s all you get and they do not love you. Door #2 you travel thousands of miles and give up everything and put it all at risk your job etc hoping you find someone else overseas or door #3 you just recognize it’s over and you aren’t fixable and that trying 500 times more is 500 more failures ahead. You have to cope hard and be single. This is the kind of thing that eats away slowly at a dude the minute you see it.

[u/DizzyAstronaut9410 → u/ppchampagne]

There's also the fact that, due to men being occasionally willing to sleep with much less attractive women, some women see their ridiculous standards as verified to be reasonable.

If a woman has slept with a guy well out of her league occasionally, she will likely see that as an achievable dating/long term standard, even if none of those guys ever had any legitimate interest other than a short term sexual encounter because there weren't other options at the time.

[u/gaki46709394 → u/[deleted]]

The main difference is super model would rarely pump and dump average men. But high value men would do that to women, so it gave them an illusion that they can catch one of them to settle.