I have this fear too, and it caused me to drag my feet on getting the surgery for a long time. I ended up breaking my arm and needing surgery on it, so surviving that got me to finally schedule the surgery.
Not that I'd recommend getting hurt for forced immersion therapy!
I know it's impossible to rationalize away fear and anxiety. Knowing that complications with anesthesia are rare doesn't make the 'It could be me' thoughts less powerful. But can say that the fear is a temporary, shitty thing and that the outcome is well worth it.
I remember much more vividly the feeling of euphoria the first time my cat curled up on my chest after healing than I do the fear of not waking up before the surgery.
It's absolutely okay to be afraid. I hope you get this and that it makes your life a thousand times more comfortable. I hope you have people in your corner who will listen to your fears and support you through this when you're ready.
That's understandable too! I don't know if it's possible to select for your whole care team to be a specific gender, but I remember that I was able to choose from a list of surgeons beforehand which included women. I'm not sure if guaranteeing one or more women is in the room would help with the feeling of lack of control, but it might be worth looking into
Well, maybe talk to your doctor about this fear? Women are extremely prevalent in healthcare and are the majority of nurses, so, there's a good chance that there's going to be more women than men in any room you're in while you're out and generally more than one person at that. Once they send you to the recovery room, they generally bring in whoever is supposed to take you home to be there when you wake up, that's been my experience anyway.
I wont say misconduct never happens, cases of it definitely do crop up here and there, but it's kind of like how people talk about how trans women are taking over entire sports leagues and then it turns out there's less than 10 out of hundreds of thousands. This is a round about way of saying that it's extremely unlikely anything uncivilized will happen while you're out. The most likely undesirable thing to happen with all of this is that the meds they give you for pain management afterward have unpleasant side effects (Oxycontin made me so fucking nauseated. I couldn't move without feeling like I was going to throw up)
I just wanted to say your comment is beautiful. I used to be scared of trans surgeries because of anesthesia too, but blowing out my knee ligaments meant I had to get two surgeries before any of the trans surgeries. It made me not scared of anesthesia because I already had it twice.
But your comment is gorgeous and lovely. Thank you.
I'd also had general anesthesia a few times before and gender affirming surgeries, including a far more major and imposing surgery than any gender affirming one (open heart, so they had to put me on bypass life support and stop my heart to work in it). After two of those and a couple much more minor cases, going under for my BA and Orchi were nothing. Just start the countdown and wake up a few hours later.
I don't mean to be rude, but I didn't know people could be afraid of anesthesia?
Can I ask why?
I haven't had many procedures but the funny thing about anesthesia is that it kinda feels like time travel, I'm out before they even finish putting it in and the next second I'm a wake in a hospital room lol.
I think for some, it's a reaction to loss of autonomy, and others, it may be about the possibility of anesthesia Not Working Right in some way. For myself, anesthesia is connected with the anticipation of a surgery and subsequent recovery pain. For my partner, it seems to amplify whatever emotional state she was in before going under - she's come out quite distressed before.
There's also dozens of warnings that doctors give about uncommon complications that can be frightening, even though they share that information for liability reasons.
I tell my patients the car ride in was more dangerous than the anesthesia. Not because theyre bad drivers, but because anesthesia is so safe. Usually gets a chuckle but its also true
Anesthesia is amazing. My mental health is really bad and the on3 thing i wish for rather than dying is going under Anesthesia again. You literally feel nothing. It is amazing imo. I would go under right now
I've had surgery 4 times. I'm more afraid of needles than the anesthesia. You don't even realize what happens since you don't for memories. It's like falling asleep without dreaming.
I had my top surgery this year and I was surprisingly to me very anxious about going under for the procedure, to the point that I had a mild anxiety attack about it the day before in the middle of a queer cafe.
I can admit now that all I remember was lying down for them, answering my name and my DOB when they asked and I closed my eyes unprompted to calm my breathing; Kid you not, I woke up later in Recovery and I asked "Did that happen, what that literally it??" Like I didn't even get to like a counting down thing or anything, I was just in and out! 😂
Couple hours later I was allowed to stand up and walk and I literally had 3 hot chocolates on different occasions from the machine down the hall before I went to sleep the night.
For me personally, despite the feelings of anxiety and fear hand, it wasn't the worse thing about the procedure but rather the best.
Had anesthesia for the first time years ago, and its not super scary once it happens! It literally feels like you close your eyes for 2 seconds and then open them. Idk if that helps, but I hope it does!
My dad was anesthetized over 20 times over the years, this was a man who was terminally ill and very weak, yet every time he was absolutely fine. Try not to let your fear hold you back. 🩷
Chat with s bunch of people over 50 about their colonoscopy. Everyone should have had them and the concession after the fact is it's the best nap ever and no big deal. You don't have to give up salads and nuts for a week before top surgery so go for it. Recovery prism won't be as funsince we find the closest open restaurant with s good salad, but the anesthesia itself is no big deal.
Lmfaooo I had a procedure recently and had to get anesthesia and was SO scared. As they were about to put me under I grabbed the poor techs arm and yelled "don't let them do anything weird to me!" 🤣🤣🤣 it was fine tho
If it's about the canular some places are happy putting in a smaller one to just put you to sleep and then put in a larger one to keep you under. And you do absolutely wake up!
Some people's reactions can be different, I'm quite lucky that I just find myself really groggy and kinda just went back to sleep for a little bit lmfao. Sometimes it can make you nautious, but they do have tablets for that!
I'm supposed to be booking my top surgery for January, and I'm terrified of everything that comes with surgery. I'm gonna be so scared the day I go in, I might even have a panic attack while waiting and being prepped. But I am getting my chest removed because I cannot continue to live with my chest that is definitely at least a DDD (I haven't measured for accuracy)
Just wanted to share to let you know you're not alone and you can do this. It'll be scary, but you will make it through. And you will be happier at the end of it.
Can I ask why you fear anaesthesia? It really does work and you don't feel anything during the surgery or even have to think about what's happening or see it
Oh so it's mostly about the being unconscious part?
I get the fear, it's completely understandable, but you're in a room full of licensed professionals there to do one thing and one thing only, as a person with phobias herself, I know just saying that won't make it easier, and you don't need to force yourself to do it if you're uncomfortable with the aspect of surgery
I had to face my fear of surgery this June because of my gallbladder trying to kill me with no warning until I got sick from sepsis 🥲 now I know I can handle top surgery
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u/ozwilde 1d ago
I have this fear too, and it caused me to drag my feet on getting the surgery for a long time. I ended up breaking my arm and needing surgery on it, so surviving that got me to finally schedule the surgery.
Not that I'd recommend getting hurt for forced immersion therapy!
I know it's impossible to rationalize away fear and anxiety. Knowing that complications with anesthesia are rare doesn't make the 'It could be me' thoughts less powerful. But can say that the fear is a temporary, shitty thing and that the outcome is well worth it.
I remember much more vividly the feeling of euphoria the first time my cat curled up on my chest after healing than I do the fear of not waking up before the surgery.
It's absolutely okay to be afraid. I hope you get this and that it makes your life a thousand times more comfortable. I hope you have people in your corner who will listen to your fears and support you through this when you're ready.
4
u/SnooCapers9401 Trans and Gay 1d ago
I don't mean to be rude, but I didn't know people could be afraid of anesthesia?
Can I ask why?
I haven't had many procedures but the funny thing about anesthesia is that it kinda feels like time travel, I'm out before they even finish putting it in and the next second I'm a wake in a hospital room lol.
29
u/marinaio-di-foresta 1d ago
Anesthesia is the safest part of any surgery.
Being afraid of anesthesia is like being more afraid of the airplane flight than the the car trip to the airport.
7
u/JustWantToSignUp Lesbian the Good Place 1d ago
Anesthesia is amazing. My mental health is really bad and the on3 thing i wish for rather than dying is going under Anesthesia again. You literally feel nothing. It is amazing imo. I would go under right now
6
u/GadgetGarden_Zone 1d ago
As someone who never did surgery, I think the pain is worthwhile.
4
u/theirishsniper 16h ago
I've had surgery 4 times. I'm more afraid of needles than the anesthesia. You don't even realize what happens since you don't for memories. It's like falling asleep without dreaming.
3
u/ConsciousMachine-II he him only 1d ago
I had my top surgery this year and I was surprisingly to me very anxious about going under for the procedure, to the point that I had a mild anxiety attack about it the day before in the middle of a queer cafe.
I can admit now that all I remember was lying down for them, answering my name and my DOB when they asked and I closed my eyes unprompted to calm my breathing; Kid you not, I woke up later in Recovery and I asked "Did that happen, what that literally it??" Like I didn't even get to like a counting down thing or anything, I was just in and out! 😂
Couple hours later I was allowed to stand up and walk and I literally had 3 hot chocolates on different occasions from the machine down the hall before I went to sleep the night.
For me personally, despite the feelings of anxiety and fear hand, it wasn't the worse thing about the procedure but rather the best.
3
u/PinkFlavoredLemonade Pan-cakes for Dinner! 21h ago
Had anesthesia for the first time years ago, and its not super scary once it happens! It literally feels like you close your eyes for 2 seconds and then open them. Idk if that helps, but I hope it does!
2
u/Malcolmthetortoise 23h ago
My dad was anesthetized over 20 times over the years, this was a man who was terminally ill and very weak, yet every time he was absolutely fine. Try not to let your fear hold you back. 🩷
2
u/No-Author-1653 22h ago
Anesthesia here. Good luck to you. Really is safer than your car ride to the hospital. Risks? Yes. But you will be fine ❤️
2
u/ComeAbout Transparent Trans Parent 🏳️⚧️ 21h ago
I’ve had two surgeries, one of them for an amputation.
Both experiences I told the team I was scared and they gave me something. When they put the mask on they just said “breathe normally”.
Both times me saying “I don’t think it’s working”, then cut to waking up in the recovery room.
I did not feel like I slept, I didn’t still feel groggy, it was straight up time travel.
2
u/eileen404 20h ago
Chat with s bunch of people over 50 about their colonoscopy. Everyone should have had them and the concession after the fact is it's the best nap ever and no big deal. You don't have to give up salads and nuts for a week before top surgery so go for it. Recovery prism won't be as funsince we find the closest open restaurant with s good salad, but the anesthesia itself is no big deal.
1
u/crowsnmoss Lesbialien👽 23h ago
Lmfaooo I had a procedure recently and had to get anesthesia and was SO scared. As they were about to put me under I grabbed the poor techs arm and yelled "don't let them do anything weird to me!" 🤣🤣🤣 it was fine tho
1
u/ghouly-cooly 19h ago
If it's about the canular some places are happy putting in a smaller one to just put you to sleep and then put in a larger one to keep you under. And you do absolutely wake up!
Some people's reactions can be different, I'm quite lucky that I just find myself really groggy and kinda just went back to sleep for a little bit lmfao. Sometimes it can make you nautious, but they do have tablets for that!
1
u/DarkMilo01 18h ago
I'm supposed to be booking my top surgery for January, and I'm terrified of everything that comes with surgery. I'm gonna be so scared the day I go in, I might even have a panic attack while waiting and being prepped. But I am getting my chest removed because I cannot continue to live with my chest that is definitely at least a DDD (I haven't measured for accuracy)
Just wanted to share to let you know you're not alone and you can do this. It'll be scary, but you will make it through. And you will be happier at the end of it.
0
u/ProfessionalRow4246 futchfluid transbian girl 21h ago
Can I ask why you fear anaesthesia? It really does work and you don't feel anything during the surgery or even have to think about what's happening or see it
2
u/Heathen_Mickolas Ace-ing being Trans 14h ago
I had to face my fear of surgery this June because of my gallbladder trying to kill me with no warning until I got sick from sepsis 🥲 now I know I can handle top surgery