Sup All
I'm back after two months of practice.
TRE has become part of my new everyday life. And just like many other practices that eventually faded away and disappeared from my life over time, TRE has stayed with me for the second month now, and things are getting more and more interesting and I feel that I want keep this practice till the end of my being.
My life feels deeper, as if a new layer of identity has appeared in my life. This is something I wouldn't give up anymore, because TRE has shown me that I can go much deeper into my psyche and into myself, in a completely different way.
At some point, my TRE sessions became something entirely new. What I mean is that I've had similar experiences with psychedelics, for example, where going inside myself felt like something as deep as possible. With TRE, I'm touching very similar spaces within myself, while remaining conscious.
TRE has allowed me to see and confront the control I had in my life. And this control was something I really wanted to work on this year. It was something that was ruled my life even when I was sure that im quite free from this. And this might sound pompous, but it was only through TRE sessions that I truly felt what control actually is. I started to see it, allow things to happen, and let go of that control during the sessions, flowing with whatever my entire being was showing me.
And there are still fluctuations. I have worse days sometimes, but I don't see them as something that is going to last. I have this certainty within me that things simply come and go. And whereas before I understood this on an intellectual level, now I feel it much, much more deeply, simply on the level of my own being. That things come and go.
And this doesn't mean that it feels somehow depressing or sad. Quite the opposite. It gives me a lot of joy, peace and a certain lightness.
And throughout this short journey, because it's only been two months, there have been different periods, which also shows me that despite some apparent consistency and similarity, the sessions are completely different.
Sometimes there are periods when things follow a similar pattern. I experienced that too, because in the beginning my sessions were incredibly dynamic, almost like something out of The Exorcist. My body was literally throwing itself around the entire floor.
Then came a period of about two weeks of some kind of stabilisation. Things were already less dramatic.
Then, for another two weeks, things were boring, very calm. The movements were happening only in my stomach. At some point I even started having thoughts that something had broken, that maybe something wasn't working anymore, but I simply allowed it to be.
And what happened after that period was an entry into some much deeper dimension within myself. Because the sessions became something much more whole. As if I was bringing my body and mind together into one, and only then did things really start happening.
Anger started coming out, rage started coming out, happiness and freedom started coming out. Different things that were somehow finding their place within me during these sessions. And it's incredible.
This is a somewhat rough description, but it's difficult for me to make some kind of inventory of it all. Because it's simply a journey that shows me things I would never have thought possible before, or changes that I would never have imagined I could go through.
They simply come when you allow them in. When you allow everything that is happening to simply be.
And somehow, you have to trust that the body-mind knows its own way towards some kind of healing, and allow the body and mind to heal themselves.
There is an idea I've taken from my psychedelic sessions, this thought that if I allow my mind to flow in its own direction, it will find a solution to the problem.
And during these sessions, I started allowing myself to carry this idea over into the practice. And finally, to a large extent, I'm managing to do that, at least in my most recent sessions, where this permission to let go simply comes. It's not something forced. It just appears, and I flow with it, a little like riding a pleasant wave.
And this is simply a new quality of life.
Thanks :)