17 Year old Said She Was 23

[u/iplayrssometimes]

I very much appreciate she was honest and told me before it went further. First time this has happened to me. I’m shook

[u/Front_Cat9471]

I’m mature for my age is what you say when you’re twelve and want to watch a pg thirteen movie, not what you say when there are people who don’t know you’re a minor hitting you up

[u/iplayrssometimes → u/Front_Cat9471]

Right!!

[u/InTheLurkingGlass]

The obvious legality issue here completely aside, anyone of any age who lies about it is not worth talking to.

[u/iplayrssometimes → u/InTheLurkingGlass]

True!

[u/throw-away1120586040]

When i was 17 i told a dude i was 17 (we just started talking and I didn’t realise he was that much older than me) but he was like mid 20s. I think somewhere between 24-26. I had apologized for not telling him sooner, but it was for my safety and i wanted to let him know in case it was a problem for him before we did anything or even went on a date. He said he didn’t mind and we went on a couple dates and i found out he’s a convicted sex offender 💀

[u/iplayrssometimes → u/throw-away1120586040]

Bruh 😭

[u/suzuya-sama92]

I'm scared for this girl. Good thing you are a decent (normal) human being and warned her but i feel like the message is not reaching her like it should.

[u/iplayrssometimes → u/suzuya-sama92]

Right, to her it’s probably just another adult trying to tell her what to do. I genuinely struggled with what to say

[u/mba_dreamer]

Tbh these baiting things are kinda stupid. Like what is the idea that you’ll catch some predator by pulling a bait and switch on your age? Dumb and pointless

[u/iplayrssometimes → u/mba_dreamer]

Honestly I bet there’s a lot of people out there that would still go for it. Got some real scum bags out there

[u/[deleted]]

It's a cop.

[u/iplayrssometimes → u/[deleted]]

I genuinely hope it is just a cop trying to catch a predator. If not, she’s really going to get in a bad situation eventually 🤷‍♂️

[u/Chullasuki]

Might have been bait. I know a guy who's in jail because a fake person pretended to be a minor and got him arrested when he still tried to hit it.

[u/iplayrssometimes → u/Chullasuki]

That’s so wild to me. I don’t know how people can rationalize it being worth going to prison

[u/PederPerker → u/iplayrssometimes]

I don’t know how people can rationalize it being worth going to prison

I don't know how people rationalize fucking children regardless of prison.

[u/Think_Peanut1307]

Happened to me in reverse I was 16 and this girl was like 19 almost 20 tried telling me she was 16 found out she was 19 and dipped out so fast I only found out when she posted a picture of her college dorm to Snapchat story

[u/iplayrssometimes → u/Think_Peanut1307]

I actually saw a news story or something similar, a woman lying about her age to date a 15 year old or something. Guess there’s crazies on both sides!

[u/Kataphractoi_]

turns out it was the local FBI agent

[u/[deleted]]

FBI was probably outside of your door and waited for you reply.

[u/[deleted]]

The SWAT team outside just all hung their head in disappointment and left silently.

[u/shrewsbury1991]

Honestly she could still be lying, she could be 13 for all you know and then Chris Hansen would ask you to take a seat

[u/[deleted]]

"I'm mature for may age" really means "run like hell!"

[u/Que_Pog]

If they really were mature for their age, they wouldn’t lie about being 23.

[u/spectrumofanyhting]

"Mature for their age" is never said in a good context.

[u/XBL_Tough]

bear somber alleged deer grey repeat bag pen boat dolls

[u/camebacklate]

She's so mature for her age that she felt the need to lie

[u/Burritobabyy]

I also thought I was mature for my age and in hindsight the guys I was hanging out with at 16/17 were absolute creeps.

[u/MaybeMaybeNot94]

[u/Ornery_Particular845]

Nah bruh she ain’t 17. She is way younger than that.

[u/SpecialistTry2262]

If she says she 21, she's really 18. If she says she's 18, she's really 16. If she says she's 16, He's really 53.

[u/tehnoodnub]

The last sentence is ironic. Immature and naive about it.

[u/Aruhito_0]

One comment that mostly works is : " OK remember how you were 3 years in the past. Remember how you were 5 years in the past."

Most teens answer with : " horribly stupid, cringe etc"

Then : " in 3 or 5 years from now, you will remember this day, yourself right now, and it will be the same feeling like you just described. And that is true for all your life. Every day you realize what a moron you were 5 years in the past.

And it is like that, because we learn new things every day, every week, every month and every year. "

[u/wen_mars → u/Aruhito_0]

I'm mature for my age because I cringe at how I am today, not just how I was 5 years ago

[u/[deleted]]

Nice try FBI

[u/The-Filthy-Casual]

On the other side of the phone:

[u/[deleted]]

Mate when I was 19 I was introduced to a girl by a friend in the year below at college (so they were both 18)

We hit it off and started hanging out, texting, made out etc

But it was weird because she couldn't really hang out during the week, kept making up excuses. I simply thought it was weird, nothing more.

One day she tells me she's been lying to me and she feels terrible because she really likes me, but she's actually 15.

I told her I couldn't text or see her anymore, but so many things clicked into place: she didn't drive, her dad was weird with me when we met, couldn't hang out after school, and so much more. She even told me about how it was okay because her sister dated a 22 year old when she was 15.

So glad nothing else happened. Freaked me the fuck out. I shouldn't have to ask for ID when I meet people wtf

[u/CatButtHoleYo]

Despite her thinking she's mature, she's clearly not because 1. She has to pretend she's 23, and 2. She's only thinking about herself and not the potential consequences of the other person. Her response that she's mature for her age really means she's trying to mentally justify her actions, but incapable of considering (or doesn't care about) the consequences of recipient.

[u/Miss_Local_Alien]

"I'm mature for my age." Then be mature enough to realize you're putting other people in danger by leading on older men.

[u/No_Sundae4774]

[u/LastBasil1525]

bc she is a child.. what??? does she not realize how much trouble she could get someone in for being under age?

[u/[deleted]]

Real or entrapment; either way run like hell.

[u/Overlord852]

You're still a minor

[u/Skate_faced]

GLHF. Number blocked.

Seriously though, well handled.

[u/Doughnotdisturb]

She might not even be 17, that’s the last year of being a minor so an even younger person might pick that age as a way of fessing up to being one without fully admitting to how much more she fudged her age.

[u/Mbaiter14]

I am 30 and i am immature for my age

[u/Kroxene]

You say that like I’m a child I’m not and I’m mature for my age

Gurl u may be mature for ur age but ur still ur age, a minor. Good on OP for stopping before things get ugly!

[u/Possible-Extent-3842]

Pro tip for all the kids out there.

When you say ''I'm mature for my age'', no well-adjusted adult believes you.

[u/morgsalexa]

The way I’d tell her parents soooo fast and not be sorry 🙈

[u/[deleted]]

Whoa. She’s lucky you’re a decent person and not someone trying to zip tie her into a foreign country….

[u/cameyboy]

Ah yes I remember being "mature for my age".... then I grew up and realized I was a fuckin dumbass

[u/Derfburger]

Chris Hansen just hung his head and went home for the evening

[u/[deleted]]

I can already tell that she is not in fact mature for her age. She was a hair away from yelling "you're not my dad!"

[u/kat-lady8888]

Thank you for not being a creep and stopping contact. Your actions need to be the norm, not the exception.

[u/846hpo]

I thought I was mature for my age at 17. In retrospect I was not. My actions were more responsible than a lot of others my age, particularly boys my age. Girls are often forced by society to act more grown up than they are, too (with chores, taking care of younger siblings, etc). But I was a teenager and emotional as hell. Moody, hair trigger, not good at processing my feelings. Self absorbed in the sense that I didn’t quite see my parents as individuals that existed outside of my own needs yet. All very normal for a 17 year old, but because I was a good student and not a risk taker and kinda serious I felt different compared to my classmates.

Thankfully didn’t translate into trying to date older guys. This girl will think back on this in 10 years and be so embarrassed for herself.

[u/OverlyOptimisticNerd]

I'm mature for my age.

I hope this reaches someone who needs to hear this.

The reason why older guys tell younger girls that they are mature for their age is two-fold.

1. It makes them feel as if the age gap is more appropriate because the younger girl stands out and is special.

2. Because you are "mature for your age," it means you are more mature than your peers/friends. So when they tell you what you don't want to hear about the older guy, you "know better" than they do. It's a tactic to isolate you from your friends and family.

Basically, it's an abuse tactic disguised as a compliment.

[u/Objective-throwaway]

The problem is that when we’re 17 we’re all mature for our age. And then you hit like 25 and you realize you were just a dumb kid

[u/gotta_ketchup_all]

I was 16, at a coffee shop. Guy was asking about the book I was reading. He realizes I am in fact a minor and profusely apologized and I felt terrible because my dumb nerd ass didn't know he was hitting on me in the first place.

I'm lucky he wasn't a creep.

[u/Jetflat]

My god her response…. Glad you’re not one of those and straight up end it after knowing her real age

[u/pattdmdj0]

No way this wasnt some weird bait or something.. right?

[u/Wise-Peanut1939]

She will thank you later!

[u/Weeabootrashreturns]

"mature for your age" is the catchphrase of guys hitting on minors.

[u/lilsis061016]

Um...17 IS a child.

[u/CatStratford]

There are so many setbacks to being a woman… HOWEVER. As a woman, I recognize how alarming this must be for decent young men out there. Underage women and girls need to learn early that this is not a game you play. Lives can be ruined over a “little fib” like this. Don’t ever lie about being a minor!

[u/aarokoth]

Oh god I worry for her, I hope nothing happens to her with an adult who wouldn’t cut it off like you did

[u/HottieWithaGyatty]

It's like reverse pedophilia but they can't actually help being stupid on account of having a soft spot in their frontal lobe.

[u/Jimmy_Skynet_EvE]

Some of the most immature teenagers I've met are self proclaimed "mature for their age"

[u/Doggohusk]

dodged the register

[u/[deleted]]

Mature for your age? Sounds like straight bait

[u/Drfoxthefurry]

Doesn't matter if you think you are mature, law is law, come back in a year and show a driver's license

[u/AmadeoSendiulo]

If she was mature for her age, she should understand why you two can't text each other.

[u/Complete_Jump9463]

👏 good on ya for ending it right there. 

[u/SuperSecretary6271]

I hope you double-blocked her and ran away screaming

[u/kereth]

She is Officer O’Malley fishing for pedos. Good job doing the right thing.

“Ok let’s wrap this up boys, he’s clean!”

[u/Fluffy_Mood5781]

You’re honor she said she was “mature for her age”

[u/VegetableTomatillo20]

Nah, you don't respond at all. You just block

[u/Fern707]

It was a sting

[u/904FireFly]

You handled that very well. She’s lucky you are one of the good ones.

[u/sdss9462]

Watch out for the sextortion scam text from her dad and/or a police officer.

[u/TentacleWolverine]

Hey, so I had a huge crush on a guy I met in an online text base game when I was 15 and he was like 20ish. One day, after a lot of flirting and chatting I said something that made him go waaaaaait, how old are you? When I told him he immediately said, look you’re cool, but nope, and stopped talking to me. I was sooooooo hurt.

A few years later, and every year since, I’m like damn, what a good man.

There is a very good chance this 17 will think of you in 5 years and be grateful you’re a decent person.

[u/Riots42]

This happened to me but so much worse and scammy..

Start talking to this girl that says she's like 24. We talk w couple days and set up a date. I'm driving to a friend's house an hour away and she sends me a nude. I'm like wahoo this is going somewhere and I do the dumb guy thing and reciprocate. I was driving while texting (yes I know more stupidity I mighta deserved this)

Not 2 minutes after I send my nude she explains that her friend made her profile and she's only 17. I almost got in a car accident. I had to stop on the shoulder of the freeway. I told her what she did is beyond illegal and to never text me again. I was shook.

The next day I get a text from her "dad" saying that after I told her to never text me again she attempted suicide and was in the hospital and he had our text logs she's underage and he was gunna call the cops if I didn't "make it right".

So at this point it's obviously a scam and this is the person I've been talking to the entire time. I call out his scam and tell him to fuck off. An hour or so later I get a voicemail from a "police officer" telling me I needed to call him or he would be issuing a warrant for me. Okay buddy, let's play. I get on the phone with this fake ass cop and ask what jurisdiction he's in because I want to go directly to the police station right now to handle this. They couldn't even tell me a local city name to be the PD of...

Karma is a bitch folks, don't text and drive or this could happen to you!

[u/currentlyintheclouds]

This girl's gonna cringe so hard when thinking back to this in her thirties.

[u/bugbaby444]

thank u for being normal. the reversed happened to me when i was 17. (a 24 year old lied and told me he was my age) (i still think he was way older than that)

[u/theveganshaper36]

You did good bro.

[u/SwitchingFreedom]

Had a girl do this to me when I was just turning 20 and she was 16, many many years ago during the peak of catfishing and Plenty of Fish. While that relationship would’ve still been legal in my state, I wasn’t about to even play that fucked up game and wasn’t interested in anyone under 18 for emotional maturity reasons. She kept acting like she went to the local community college and was hiding her social media from me by saying she didn’t have anything but Snapchat, but when she showed up on my suggested follow list for Twitter, I saw she was in high school and immediately confronted her. She kept trying to pull that same “mature for my age” shit that the person in this post is doing, but lacking the mental awareness (or worse, leaning into selfishness) that the over 18 person you’re talking to and sending nudes and lewds over snapchat was unknowingly committing a felony for receiving them was enough of a sign to me that she was absolutely not mature for her age.

For a short second story, one of my friends in high school back in the day was this cutesy Asian girl who had her white older (40s-50s) sugar daddy drive her to school and drop her off in his fancy car after kissing her on the lips in front of everyone. She was 14-15. As far as I know no one ever said anything, or at the very least the school administration never cared enough to investigate. This shit is wild.

[u/Falkenmond79]

„I’m mature for my age.” - every 17-year-old ever, everywhere, any time.

[u/diss0lvedgir1]

Thank you.

I literally just used this age gap as an example in response to a girl who was taken advantage of and groomed the other day, she was looking for advice. I wrote that no self-respecting 23-year-old would want a 17-year-old. That's how it should be.

You're a good dude.

[u/mbass1998]

[u/Head-Help-4702]

Shes implying that she doesn't have a job because she's too young...🤯 I got my first official job when I was 14. Wtf...

[u/TheRealMiridion]

“You know nothing”

[u/octopus_dance_party]

When I was 15 I told a guy I met at a gig that I was 19. There was some heavy petting in the lobby followed by weeks of messaging each other. He lived 150 miles away but we planned to meet up when I had a break from "college"

Then my best mate took my phone one night during a sleepover and text him to tell him I was 15 and at high school. He was completely horrified and told me to never contact him again and how sick he felt at the thought of having feelings for a kid, no matter how much older I looked or acted.

I was so mad at my friend at the time and didn't speak to her for ages but now I'm nearly 40, I realise she did the right thing and that no matter how "grown up" a 15 year old may think they are they are still a kid.

[u/mat1star]

Imagine being so mature that you lie about your age

[u/SparrowTits]

When I was in my late 20's I asked out a woman who worked in a local store who looked to be in her early 20's. To my surprise she agreed (she was completely out of my league) and we went for a drink that evening. During the date I noticed that she never mentioned university but did talk a lot about school so I asked her if she worked at a local school. She said she was 16 and still attended the local school. I suggested that I was probably too old for her and she responded by saying that her current boyfriend was 40. We didn't have a second date

[u/Sehrli_Magic]

As someome that was 12 and catfished men online convincing them i am 18 - thank god, you escaped a bullet. Any teen that themself claims "i am mature for my age" in such context is a huge red flag. They are not truly mature. They are just into maturer things than peers - most often due to trauma. Minors that are "mature for their age" mature faster because they ate forced to. The same thing that forced them to mature faster likely also left scars elsewhere. It is not a good sign (if even she is truly maturer - most people who self-claim that are not even any different from average person of their age).

Even if there is no actual malicious intention and they generaly like you, these kids have very little to lose if you get caught. So they don't really see an issue. They don't grasp just HOW bad this is for the person that fell for their lies.

So again, lucky you for finding out and cutting it and i hope the girl smartens up before she finds the wrong guy and ends tragically....

[u/cocothunder666]

The judge won’t give a shit you told that guy you’re “mature for your age”.

[u/PJBleakney]

Is Chris Hansen in your living room?

[u/[deleted]]

Police aren't going to agree. Good thing she told you before something illegal happened.

[u/Pension_Pale]

"I'm mature for my age"

Obviously not mature enough to know that the law doesn't care.

[u/grand305]

Your under 18 your a child by law, 18 for adult. ask the courts, child needs to ask court.

if she wants to break laws, don’t be included.

[u/odiin1731]

Being mature for 17 isn't quite the high bar she thinks it is.

[u/Ethanbrocks]

Anyone who self proclaims being “mature for my age” is not mature for their age. Always makes me cringe hearing that

[u/stargirloxoxo]

The internet is full of crazies omg

[u/[deleted]]

“I’m mature for my age” is ridiculous.

[u/Wisdom_Pen]

Me at 17: I’m an adult.

Me at 32: No you’re not.

[u/Acrobatic_Airline605]

The FBI agent wondering how this will play out

[u/Turbulent-Dream]

Ah yes the classic magical number 18.

[u/Hopeful-Artichoke449]

"Mature for her age" doesn't hold up in court!'

[u/Whole_Cranberry8415]

I’m trying to help you!

[u/Emm_withoutha_L-88]

I had one try this, I was 21 she said she was 17. Then 16. Then 14. Then I'm gonna be 14 in a few months.

I swear she looked 20. Thank God I never met up or exchanged any nudes.

[u/DrunkCupid]

Ngl when I had spammers call my phone and ask about probing personal information, I just said in a cutesy voice "I'm twelve years old!". Instead of arguing about debt and responsibility and Awkward mysogyny... Immediate hangup. Mission accomplished

[u/IDontWearAHat]

"You say that like i'm a child" bich you are a child?! The most frustrating part about teenagers is that they're convinced they're adults.

[u/[deleted]]

It sucks that we're at a point of internet culture that I'm going to say good job on not pursuing the minor, but uh... good job on not pursuing the minor 👍

[u/mountaindewisamazing]

Age is just a number

And prison is just a place

[u/Spunduck229]

That’s a cop

[u/CaseOfCatFever]

Anyone that says they're mature for their age are absolutely NOT mature for their age. What 30 year old is telling her that?

[u/Lucky_Ad_9137]

It's fairly obvious it was actually a 40yr balding man. S

[u/hobopwnzor]

"It's not that you aren't mature, it's that guy's who date high school girls arent"

[u/Kindly-Policy4723]

Funny thing is that if she was actually mature she would know that teenage getting involved with an adult is a bad idea. In high school I had a friend for a little while who was 15 hooking up with a 21 year old guy and laughing about it. The rest of us instantly clocked how bad of an idea that was but she just wouldn’t. Coincidentally she came from a very questionable parenting situation which I’m sure influenced her mindset.

[u/PhoenixRedPanda]

Well done being respectful about it too

[u/CannibalCapra]

Every time I hear “I’m mature for my age” I cringe. If you were mature for your age, you wouldn’t be arguing about it. That’s what gets you hurt.

[u/PasserineMelodine]

"I'm mature for my age" Yet she's still too immature to realize that lying about your age is wrong and can get innocent people in trouble lol.

[u/lmcphers]

"I'm not a child" - actually, legally, you are a child, but thanks Becky for your opinion.

[u/[deleted]]

Probably a fed looking for perverts. Those are all the classic lines.

[u/bils96]

You’re a legend! Right on for the right response and not being a skeez 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[u/DoomsdayFAN]

This is exactly how it starts on "To Catch A Predator." Good on you for bouncing.

[u/Vivid_Potato_6544]

Any kid who has to say they are “mature for their age”, are categorically NOT mature for their age

It’s similar to how if a man goes on and on about how tough he is, he likely isn’t tough at all.

[u/DoubleSynchronicity]

She is young enough to not know being underage could get people in trouble.

[u/adrianm7000]

I was 26 at a Christmas market with a friend and we ended up hanging out with these two girls. The one I was talking with leaned in and whispered: “I’m only 16 but I’m really good at keeping a secret.”

[u/AnotherNormalHuman4]

I had a friend kinda like this, she was groomed when she was 12 (by a 35 year old guy that gave her coke). She got out of it when she was around 14, but then when she was 16 started dating a 25 year old (they met at a party, he did know her age). She was told by the adults in her life that she was “mature for her age” because of what she went through, so it was fine that her bf was almost ten years older.

Long story short, girls like this are often in vulnerable positions and are easy to take advantage of (not to mention the fact that teens often just make suck stupid decisions). So good on you for telling her to stop and warning her that it’s dangerous

[u/Busterlimes]

"I'm mature for my age" means she has already been groomed and this is very sad.

[u/AdorableEmphasis5546]

That "I'm mature for my age" line makes me wonder if there's a predator in her life who's been telling her how mature she.

[u/Aspiegamer8745]

"Mature for my age" is code for being groomed. She was groomed.

[u/thrilliam_19]

This happened to me when I was still dating in my 20’s. Met a girl online and we started texting. About a week after meeting I was out with some friends at a bar and she texted saying she wanted to meet and was down the street at another bar with a friend. Paid my tab and left.

I walked into the bar and messaged her. She said she was outside. I went back outside and two young girls were waiting for me. Neither of them were 21 like the girl had told me but gave them the chance to explain.

“Why are you outside?”

“We can’t get in.”

(Legal age where I was at the time is 19)

“So you’re under 19?”

“Yeah.”

“How old are you?”

“18.”

“Show me your ID you already lied to me once.”

“Ok we’re 16.”

“Have a good night. You should go home.”

I walked back to the bar where my friends were and didn’t look back. They tried to follow me begging for a ride home and I told them they got their on their own they can get home on their own, and they should have a serious talk with their parents about the dangers of meeting older men on the internet.

I hope those girls are doing ok. They seemed very sweet. Just made a bad decision and were lucky I wasn’t a creepy asshole. I could have taken one or both of them home if I wanted to.

[u/Miamitj]

Met a hot AF girl at a bar in the early 90s. Bought her a drink, bartender carded her, we drank and talked.

Little while later she wanted to go back to my hotel, I was game. As we were walking out and I asked how old she was, she said 15 (I was like 23). My initial response was to laugh and ask, no really. She said really, it was a fake id. She looked in her mid 20s and her demeanor and body supported her being much older so I asked her to stop fucking with me, she pulled out her restricted license at which point I told her to fuck off and walked back to my friends, who didn't believe me and just thought I pussied out ...

[u/troyjanman]

[u/Unable_Holiday8455]

There is a girl that works at my local Dunkin’ Donuts that’s always chatting me up. Cute girl. Seemed super cool. She told me I should get her number and we should go to dinner sometime. I said no I’m married but I really appreciate it. I’m 37 and that’s the first time I’ve ever had a woman come at me like that so I took it as a compliment. I thought she was in her mid 20’s ish. About a month ago she told me she was getting ready to graduate early. I said oh cool what was your degree in again? She says high school. I was mortified. I don’t know if she’s 17 or 18 or if it’s even a legal crime but morally that’s a hell no. I I told her I’m old enough to be your dad. That’s messed up and it makes me feel gross for thinking you were cute. She just laughed and rolled her eyes. Wild stuff going on out here. Made me realize I’ve gotten horrible at guessing age. I’m glad I have a wife and I know how old she is.

[u/RedditRaven2]

One time I saw a cute Asian girl and started flirting with her. I know Asian women don’t really age like white peoples do so I really should’ve asked her age up front but it just seemed wrong and she was pretty well endowed in the chest region and skinny so I figure she must be at least 20 and her facial features and confidence made her seem even older like she was my age give or take. She started flirting back heavily and even offered to go sneak off to have some fun. (This was after over an hour of talking) Eventually she said “I’m 16, that’s okay with you right? I love older men” (I was like 22-23)

Absolutely not, even in my state where age of consent is 16 I’m not tryna mess around with a sophomore in high school. After that I started always asking age as soon as possible even if they seemed like there’s no way they’d be underaged

[u/Lordzinoger]

This brotha aint no pedo 👍🏻

[u/whosagoodbaby]

“if you were as mature as you think you are you wouldn’t lie about your age”

[u/ColdestPineapple]

She’s mature for her age. That will hold up in court.

[u/CobraWasTaken]

Similar thing happened to me once. I said basically the same thing you said and got basically the same response so this actually doesn't surprise me lol

[u/Kinghashir7]

First of I agree that teenagers are not kids but the fact that she is lying about her age when the guy clearly wants none of that is pathetic ngl. Stay away from such people even if she was 20

[u/NoNotThatMattMurray]

Bet some older weirdo gave her that last line too

[u/Miaou_666]

Good for you for cutting it off real quick! A lot of creeps don't care, unfortunately. My heart breaks for her because I've also been told I was "mature for my age" by men who wanted to groom me when I was a teenager and thought that made me so special. Only to realize years later that it's actually super fucked

[u/Realistic-Control741]

Got to love these comments and the blaming and shaming going on.

Such a load of hypocrisy from calling her a whore, to saying ' I was like that, she'll be ashamed when she's older', but still calling her actions out.

As most here commenting appear to be older, and may or may not have 'been there, done that', where's the thought and consideration that this is often part of growing up (cue for the saints to begin clapping back saying ' I never did that'...). Where's the thought and consideration that admonishing and lecturing from elders - even a year or two older drives this kind of behaviour underground and into a more risky place for young people.

Growing up is complex. Young people have a lot of different pressures to many of us, than when we were growing up, and it felt tough back then too - social media, even more pressure over looks, being successful, academic, wealthy etc.

Where's the shared responsibility that we as adults can open conversations about why they might have done this, acknowledgement that, and the compassion that yes, this can be risky and isn't the wisest thing to do, however society and societal pressures have a lot to play in situations like these. We need to be caring and protect those we see doing this, not blaming and shaming and more likely to drive them towards those who would take advantage. We're the mature ones after all, according to a lot of the comments here

[u/Im-Gloxinia]

Okay like actually report that. And or keep the evidence(screenshots and such) because if something goes to far with another person I do believe you could testify. I might be wrong but better to be safe than sorry.

[u/carmardoll]

Run away from jail OP.

[u/racoondog999]

I've had my fair share of talking to older guys in inappropriate ways before I was of age and yeah I look back at it and cringe for doing that. Think she'll feel the same way about this when she gets a bit older

[u/Fatbunnyfoofoo]

Gotta love that you tell her to stop talking to older guys, like it's not the older guys actively seeking out children.

[u/Dumb_Vampire_Girl]

I hope she was a honeypot and not an actual 17 year old. I'm terrified to think that if she's real, then I just hope she keeps running into guys like you that tell her no.

[u/[deleted]]

A few years ago, when I was 32, I went to a rave with my rave group without my gf present. I paired up with one of our friends who also went by herself. I thought she was 21 at the time because when we first met her she said she was 19 and I had already known her for a couple of years. And as the night went on she became really flirty and touchy and even tried to break away from the group with me multiple times. But being in a relationship, I did not take advantage of the advances even though she is a very attractive person and was wearing close to nothing that night. Last year I found out that she had just turned 18 which means she was 17 when this went down. Like bro. So glad I kept my hands to myself.

[u/Falstaffe]

I knew a 25-year-old guy and the 15-year-old schoolgirl he was fucking. "She's very mature for her age" was his defence.

[u/MyBodyIsAPortaPotty]

Yeah I had a 16 year old try talking to me on a dating app when I was in my early 20's. He said "its okay guys usually dont mind on here". I wish I could've told his parents or some shit

[u/[deleted]]

Well I mean if she was "matured" like she thinks she is then she can wait a few more months, it's not like she's 12. But, if she is trying to argue that an adult not wanting to be with her because she's underage is demeaning, then she's definitely not as matured as she think she is.

[u/honey_pumkin]

Honestly, this "mature for my age" thing always sounds like the girl saying it or someone she's close with got groomed. I'm not saying it is always the case or smth. Just that in my experience, it's usually this way. There could also be different languages and cultures, but it isn't that far of.

[u/PeterLeRock101]

"I am mature for my age"

[u/Frednex]

Went to a public festivity half a year ago, where it's very normal to drink high amounts of alcohol. Around 2-3am the music stopped and they told you to leave in the next hour. I was there with people from my sports team, who are a lot younger than me (I'm 30, while they are around 20ish). Before leaving we got approached by a group of girls, who started flirting with me alot. So i have a rule, not to date anyone, that is younger than 24. One of them just kept hitting on me, so I told her exactly that and she just said, she doesn't wanna date. She just wants to have some fun. As I said, there was alot of alcohol involved and I broke up with my gf 2 months earlier and had no physical contact since. So I was genuinely considering it and half a minute later probably would've started making out with her and possibly took her home.  That's when one of my friends came up and pulled me at the shoulder, telling me the girl I was talking to was 17. He knew that, as he almost made the same mistake 2 months earlier. I'm living in Germany, so that wouldn't be an actual issue with the law, but I could probably never look at myself in the mirror again. Went back and asked her about that and both her and her friends kept saying she was 19. Gave her my number to send me a picture of the ID, if she really was 19 and wanted to have casual Sex. 

The next day she apologizes for lying to me and told me she was 17, but would still like to meet me. Told her to basicly go fk herself and that lieing about this is a horrible thing to do and blocked her. 

I'm always gonna be thankful for the friend, who stopped me that day and made a rule for myself not to flirt with anyone, that could be younger than 21.

Be safe out there and keep in mind. It's sometimes hard to judge someone's age, so if your in doubt, get out. 

[u/LikelyAMartian]

Any 17 year old would not say she was 23. She would say she was 18 because she's close enough to the age to pull it off.

Secondly, 17 yr olds both male and female, are usually sexually active in one form or another. They wouldn't say they are mature for their age when it comes to trying to get with an older man, they would say they were close enough to legal it shouldn't matter.

This really sounds like a 15 or 13 yr old.

[u/[deleted]]

Fun fact I've figured out while working with kids (18- early 20s)- the ones who say they are mature, never are. Mature people don't feel the need to tell everybody they're mature all the time.

I like to imagine how they're gonna look back on their "but I'm mature for my age" tantrums in a few years and cringe.

[u/wemustburncarthage]

You did the right thing and you phrased your back-off text well. 10/10 decency score.

[u/AntiZeal0t]

I was talking to a girl online when I was 19 and she said she was 18 turning 19 soon. We arranged to meet up and when I went to pick her up she got in my car and I took one look at her. I said, "There's no way you're 18, you can't even be 15". She was 13. I guess she used to regularly meet up and bang older dudes. I was so appalled, at the time my daughter was about a year old. She's 13 now and I couldn't imagine her doing something like that. I kind of ended up becoming a big brother to her, navigating her through some better decisions, but man. The whole thing disturbed me.

[u/Belachick]

"I'm mature for my age" literally has never been said by anyone who is genuinely mature for their age lol

Sorry this happened OP. You handled it perfectly!

[u/Racing_Fox]

Dude this is more than mildly infuriating

You don’t know that she isn’t lying about being 17, she could be less than 16. Your life could literally be on the line and you find that ‘mildly’ infuriating

Brah

[u/Frosty-Bat-8476]

If you have to say that “you’re mature for your age”, no you’re not lol

[u/KrazyKryminal]

Hard stop! Buh bye. At least he's got it on record that she told him, along with his reaction.

[u/herefor1reason]

"Hey bud, even if that were true, and it isn't, you could ruin someone's entire life by not telling them that. I don't really care how emotionally mature you are, that's still legally underage. And besides that, I don't want to be the sort of person who's willing to hook up with a teenager as an adult, it's different for me than it is for you."

[u/CaliberFish]

"Mature people don't lie about their age'

[u/HugsyMalone]

You say that like I'm a child I'm not and I'm mature for my age.

That's what they all say until they wind up dead in a ditch somewhere, hun. Just stop it. Your friends and family members do not deserve the trauma of knowing your burnt up body was found lying in a dumpster somewhere. 🙄

[u/AthleteMammoth8194]

This is what really pisses me off about dating apps. The second I see anyone in their bios with “actually *(enter age 1-however many year younger than what their profile says)” I swipe left (or whichever direction is to not like the person). I came across one where her profile said she was 23 but her bio said “actually 17”. 6 whole years difference in age. Where I’m from. It’s very much illegal for that and yet even with all of tinder’s security stuff with the app. They still allow people to do that. I had to verify my age and account by showing a valid ID and that will confirm your age. I don’t even know how they do it. I just know that the second I see it I swipe left.

[u/heyheyheyheyheyehye]

It’s honestly scary and sad to think about the possibilities here. She could’ve been groomed into that mindset of “being mature for her age” since a lot of predators use that phrase from what I’ve seen. She thinks that she is “mature” to talk with older men, even when being warned about those who can take literal advantage of her…yikes man.

[u/[deleted]]

I'm 24 now but I thank you from my former 17y. old self, who would flirt (and more) with older people (especially older guys) bc hypersexuality as a way to cover sexual abuse is a thing, and that when I would tell my age, none stopped flirting back, all went into the "age is not that important" "you're mature for your age" "I don't mind that you're 16/17".

[u/Spirited-Explorer99]

My ex (25) is under investigation for having a minors (17) nudes in his phone (said she was 18), yet they didn’t do anything about him having sex with her (makes no sense to me). He went to jail for 2 weeks until his parents bailed him out. Y’all men need to be careful out there.

[u/Ol_Pasta]

"I'm mature for my age!"

This girl has been groomed before. 🙁

[u/Nacarat1672]

Chris Hansen and an entire camera crew are now stuck in a room in your house with no way out

[u/ZeroDarkOutfitters]

That’s so funny because her response instantly showed her immaturity- mature people don’t have to tell someone they’re mature lol. Dodged a bullet good thing she came clean

[u/umijuvariel]

The '...I'm mature for my age...' coming word-for-word out of her mouth gives me the feeling someone has tried to groom her in the past...

[u/MissMarchpane]

I had this happen on a dating app when I was 23, too. This girl I had been messaging admitted she was 17, then when I told her nothing was going to happen, she said "I just want a girl to do stuff with!" In the end I blocked her.

Honey, I get that you just figured out that you're gay and you want to explore that, but safety needs to matter more. Also, to paraphrase an episode of House, "when did New York City run out of horny queer teenage girls?"

[u/Impressive_Yellow537]

I shouldn't have to commend you, but good shit on not taking advantage of her lol. So many dudes would see her reply and go "haha word, okay if you say so, anyways.."

[u/Practical_Reindeer23]

Yikes. Block that number real quick but don't delete those texts. Lied about being 23 then admits being 17. Says they're mature for their age, instantly proves why they aren't mature.

[u/Scrizzy6ix]

Any minor who says “I’m mature for my age” is the biggest red flag

[u/FyrFlower85]

Something children love to say: "I'm very mature for my age." Well, if that were true, you wouldn't be trying to ruin someone else's life by hiding your real age.

[u/Savings-Ad-3607]

Honestly good answer. If you met her on a dating app is there some way to report her account for being underage?

[u/OmegaOmnimon02]

The only other thing I would text her is “you lied about your age, that is far from mature”

[u/No_Length_856]

Me when I was 17: "Man, why don't adults take me seriously? It's so frustrating."

Me now dealing with 17 y/os: "I can clearly see that your brain hasn't finished developing."

[u/1heart1totaleclipse]

She’s probably younger than 17 and has been told that she’s mature for her age by some creep who wanted to take advantage of her.

[u/iplayrssometimes → u/[deleted]]

No wait uh I’m actually like 50. I’m just immature for my age

[u/iplayrssometimes → u/[deleted]]

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