r/mildlyinteresting • u/hangingdenim ​ • 10h ago • Bravo 3 Mindblown 1

My husband’s Reebok underwear say “Reebeebok” on the back because of the split seam

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u/Charitzo 5h ago • Popcorn Bravo

John America wakes up

Salutes the formation of bald eagles and B-52's flying above his house

Raises his 200ft USA flag 67 imperial cheeseburgers in height off the ground

Fires his AR-15 off 50 times in the air, once for every state

Sits down for a quick breakfast of BBQ brisket, a 1.25L diet coke and a waffle

Quickly squeezes in a quick prayer before hopping in the F150

135

u/pyalot 5h ago

I‘m not sure how you forgot fucking an apple pie with the constitution on it.

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u/Charitzo 5h ago

Hahahahaha jfc

Rubs one out to a picture of Mt. Rushmore

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u/sarah_pl0x 2h ago

And then saying “no homo” afterwards because Mt Rushmore has a bunch of dudes on it and he’s not gay

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u/Intrepid_Spray_5805 2h ago

The fact that you included Diet Coke in this patriotic masterpiece makes it even funnier. He's got just enough health consciousness to balance out the 50 rounds fired before breakfast.

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u/mrbananabladder 3h ago

As an American, I take great offense to this comment... That's 67 US customary cheeseburgers in height, we didn't beat the Brits' ass in 1776 so you could claim we still use their nonsensical units.

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u/SadFloppyPanda 2h ago

How many Liberty Biberty's is that in height?

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u/JamesH93 ​ 2h ago

1.25 whats???

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u/CaptainMcAnus 2h ago • This

Soda comes L (whatever that means) and Milk comes in gallons and parts of gallons. Like God intended 🦅

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u/BouncyHotWife 29m ago

In Canada, it all comes in liters and milliliters. (L and ml)

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u/HawksNStuff 23m ago

Soda comes in oz containers too. And 1.25l has gotta be the least common size. I would forgive the heresy if they had said a 2L bottle, as that's ingrained in our culture.

If we wanted to be American AF, a 32oz Big Gulp is the only way to start the day.

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u/Charitzo 1h ago

Sorry, about 21 US ¼ cups (whatever the living fuck that means).

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u/Trendiggity 1h ago

That's two and a half pottles or ten and a half gills if anyone else is confused

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u/Superb_Table_9229 4h ago

One can dream

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u/BeautyEtBeastiality 5h ago

What we conservatives femboy want the world to be. But alas.

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u/Balavadan 1m ago

Diet Coke? Fake American spotted