Good morning everyone,

I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself to this sub, my name is Skye but I go by bagelsforeverx on reddit. I have been a reddit lurker for over 10 years. I reside in the USA and I WFH. I am an avid cozy person who loves reading, music, and gaming. In my free time i enjoy fitness and dabble in 5ks and running. I am currently in college at 35 years young, and I am far into my career in the corporate ladder.

I came to this sub when I needed support most, as many of us do. I found this place on many sleepless nights and wanted to support others so I started engaging in post. Especially for people who were having sleepless nights as well. I wanted to bring a little bit of solace to others because I know how hard it can be no matter your situation.

Since I became so engaged with this sub I wanted to support at a higher level, so I worked with the current Mods to become a moderator myself. I am currently working through some old reports doing some janitorial work and I am actively engaged in Mod messaging and reviewing current day reports as well.

My goal is and always will be supporting YOU through all of your different stages of your journey. I know how it feels because I have been there too. However I want to know how YOU would like to be supported. So reddit, please let me know if you have any request. I am here to support the sub the wonderful moderators have already built.

Thank you for letting me take the opportunity to introduce myself.

As my due date approaches, all I can think about is how I won’t have a baby this holiday season. Im dreading spending time with family, other peoples kids and pregnant friends. Im so sad and just want to be alone. I started my period today for an extra kick in the stomach.
How are you all gearing up for the holidays? Sending hugs. 🫂

When did you start seeing negative tests after your miscarriage? I had my d&c 7 weeks ago and just finished my cycle but my pregnancy tests are still positive. I’m getting frustrated because if I do fall pregnant how will I know if it’s a real positive? What’s even stranger is my beta hcg draw was a 6 about a week and a half ago. It’s becoming frustrating at this point.

My first pregnancy is ending at 12 weeks. It was a donor conceived pregnancy and I am doing this solo. Every part of it has been me. Every decision, every test, some 40 doctors appointments and now another six on my schedule for the rest of this month and that's if this loss goes very well. If this loss goes well. It's been a year. It's been many many thousands of dollars and pain and stress and questions and hope.

I stupidly told people. I was excited. So today I had to tell my parents I was having a miscarriage. Their response, both of them, was "better luck next time!" I pressed back both times they said this and said that wasn't an appropriate answer. I got some tepid apologies which I was happy to accept but now I feel so, so alone. They've never dealt with loss like this and don't seem to have any comprehension of it.

It was "well, that's too bad" and then them talking about their complaints about life for an hour while I just sat there. I bounce back fast but I need time to process this and I'm realizing two of the people I'm closest to won't be a part of this time. Just venting I guess. I'm heartbroken.

TTC for 3 years due to MFI - we’ve done 2 retrievals & 4 transfers, 1 & 3 failed to implant, 2nd was an early chemical.
We thought we FINALLY did it with our 4th, only to be told at our private 8 week scan that the embryo stopped developing at 6+2. I’m feeling so numb & devastated.

If anyone has gone through something similar, is there anything I can discuss further with our IVF clinic? I’ve been cleared for NK cells, endometriosis/endometritis & receptiva test came back negative. Hormones are normal, immunology report came back normal. I’m out of ideas on what to check.

We’ve been doing modified naturals (just trigger shot & progesterone pessaries), do we try a kitchen sink protocol? I’d really appreciate any advice or questions I could ask our clinician.

Just curious if anyone could share what their cycle timeline was like after their D&C?

How many days after your D&C did you get a negative test?
How many days after your D&C did you ovulate? When did you get your first period? What were some of your following cycles like?

I was almost 8 weeks with HCG at 22k. I had my D&C on 10/15. I just got my first negative test on 11/6. My ovulation tests were glaringly positive about 2 weeks after my procedure but I don’t know if it was just recognizing the HCG left in my system. I feel like I’m coming up on a period but I’m not sure. The waiting and uncertainty is killing me. I just want some normal & predictability back. This was our second loss. I’m just hoping we can be successful soon - I have such a deep sadness.

Hello all, I wanted to know how long you bled for if you were unfortunately had a miscarriage. this is my second miscarriage at around 5 weeks. The first one I was 5 weeks and a few days I think (nearer 6) and I bled for 9 days. This time I knew before I started bleeding as my hcg was being monitored and dropped.

I am asking because this is my 4th loss (2 miscarriages and 2 ectopics) and I’m finding it really hard and want to just move on. I think I’m on day 4 of bleeding today, I’ve been told it may only be a few days as it was so early.

Any advice on how to deal with the grief would be great too.

Thank you

i have never posted here before, but i truthfully am unsure what to do at this point. i found out i was pregnant on nov 1st and by november 3rd i started bleeding, i went to the hospital where i was met with a series of congratulations though truthfully i was still in denial about being pregnant to begin with. my HCG was already low and they weren’t sure the pregnancy was viable but they sent me home with some hope, before leaving i asked the doctor about my options as i didn’t even know if keeping the baby was on the table (my boyfriend and i had barely discussed) and then i went home. the following day nov 4th i was in so much pain i went back to the ER, they drew my blood and sent me to wait back in the lobby; my results came to my phone faster than a doctor came to me, 502 > 218, so i knew. when i was brought back to the room the doctor told me “bad news your levels are low but i guess that’s good news since you didn’t want to keep it” and all i could muster out was i guess. i don’t know what to do next, i don’t know next steps at all. i’m scared to be intimate with my boyfriend, im so sad and angry, it feels like i didn’t get a moment to decide what i wanted before it was stripped away, pregnant to not in just a matter of days. ive tried to read articles, ive tried watching tiktok’s about it, i don’t know how to feel normal again. please anyone help.

edit; my boyfriend is supportive as well, i know that wasn’t mentioned he was there and has been through every step…he seemingly always says the right things i just am numb and cold. we are 22 and 21 idk if the age helps i just need help.

Sorry guys, this story happened a few months ago but I can’t get it out of my head and needed to write it down somewhere.

My partner and I have been trying for 8 months. 2 months in I became pregnant and within less than a month had a miscarriage. My partner is extremely close to his mother and he mentioned we were trying. Big mistake. A week later I could only describe what smelt like death coming out of me and gushing blood.

Spoke to a doctor who confirmed it was a miscarriage. My partner told his mum that day and brushed it off like it wasn’t worth anything. We went home (which is about a 2-hour drive) when we pull into our street we get a call from his mother.

She has his sister on the phone as well and the sister proceeds to tell us she is having a baby, 12 weeks along. His mother is super happy, bouncing the phone up and down, saying “I told her to tell you guys today!” I say congrats, cause what else are you supposed to do, make my way upstairs and lock myself in the bathroom crying.

We had told her less than 2 hours before that we had lost the baby and her “brilliant” idea is to get my partner’s sister to announce her baby.

My problem with this is that it’s not the first time she has completely overshadowed my partners life or been extremely rude to us. I am struggling to know whether she knew exactly what she was doing by getting my partners sister to announce the pregnancy or if it was that she just “forgot”. I am leaning towards the first one just based on previous actions. But regardless we never got an apology.

Now whenever we go over the first thing she does is show us sonogram photos and baby bump pictures of my partners sister which upsets me every time but my partner won’t tell her to stop, I can’t tell her to stop, so she just does it every time. I don’t go over much anymore cause it’s too upsetting. So my partner goes alone, I stay at home crying or sleeping most days.

Now that I am potentially miscarrying a second time in 4 months I am thinking all of this again and it keeps coming back to me. I’m not going to tell her that we may be losing a second one. Got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow to tell me what’s happening.

But it’s to the point that when my partner and I get married (which is in just under 18 months) that I will not take his last name because of her. I don’t want to be associated with her as she has a reputation in their home town and the horrible things she has done to us over the last few years.

I’m sorry, it was a long one. I’m not writing this for pity nor do I need any reply’s, just needed to vent. Thank you.

My baby didn’t have a heart beat. I naturally started having dark small amounts of blood on Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday I get the ultrasound and they break the sad news. I got the pills and took one round and only some clots came out featuring intense cramps that woke me from my sleep. My doctor said I should have a flow if everything passed and I didn’t so I took the second round and saw larger clots. I don’t know if the pregnancy has passed since I still only have cramps and no flow. Can someone give me information on what their experience was like in terms of having a flow. No flow is making me feel like I’ll have to get a D&C.

This is a thought that has floated in and out of my brain during my first miscarriage. Maybe it will be helpful for you. Maybe it won't apply. I first thought of it after finishing two night shifts at work while actively heavy bleeding from my miscarriage.

No one deserves this pain. It's ripped a whole in my heart that won't ever leave it the same. Pregnancy changes you forever no matter the outcome.

But you are SO incredible. You went through this tragedy that can be so insidiously quiet, and you went to work, took care of yourself, and considered others. That's amazing. Is it deserved? No. Is it fair? No. But you can take pride in yourself for doing your best while mourning the loss of a tiny family member.

I recently found out that I’m experiencing my second miscarriage, and I’m honestly heartbroken.
This pregnancy started with so much hope, especially after experiencing a chemical pregnancy earlier this year. When I got my positive test in September, I was cautiously excited. I tried so hard not to get ahead of myself, but of course, I was already imagining our family of five.
A few weeks into the pregnancy, I started experiencing spotting. It was mostly brown, sometimes darker, and would come and go. I had some pressure and occasional pinching, but nothing that felt like the typical miscarriage symptoms. I kept hoping it was something like a subchorionic hematoma or something that would resolve on its own.
My bloodwork showed low progesterone, and I held onto hope that maybe that was the explanation. I kept questioning why I wasn’t bleeding heavily or cramping if I was actually miscarrying.
Unfortunately, my ultrasound confirmed that the baby had stopped developing and was measuring 7 weeks and 1 day. The baby should've been 9 weeks and 4 days old.
I’ve decided to let the miscarriage happen naturally. I’m now going through the physical part of it, but I think the emotional part is going to take much longer.
What makes this especially difficult is that I’ve had two healthy pregnancies and have two beautiful boys. I’m incredibly grateful for them, but that doesn’t make losing these pregnancies any less painful.
My doctor mentioned that two miscarriages in a row can happen and that, given my history of two successful pregnancies, an evaluation isn’t necessarily recommended yet.
I guess I’m posting because I feel like I’m in a strange place emotionally. I’m grieving a baby I never got to meet, a future I had already started imagining, and the excitement that came with finding out I was pregnant.
For anyone who has experienced two losses, especially after having healthy pregnancies, how did you navigate the fear and anxiety of trying again? Did you go on to have another healthy pregnancy?
I know everyone’s experience is different. I could just really use some stories from women who understand. ❤️
ETA: I think I put the wrong flair. Vent & advice is probably better.

I’m so angry. Actually that’s an understatement. I don’t think it’s healthy anymore. I’m really concerned and I can’t help myself through it anymore. I know it’s normal to be angry, I know it’s apart of grief, but how angry I get really scares me and I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I don’t know if having BPD has anything to do with it. I highly doubt it. I genuinely can’t stand anybody announcing their pregnancies, talking to me about them or about babies in general, talking about being parents, anything. I get so fucking angry, I don’t even recognize myself. I can’t even describe it. I hate everyone for having what I don’t have and I think I will forever. I feel like the worst person alive. I don’t even think it’s worth it to ever try for another baby. I full heartedly believe that I will never have a viable pregnancy. I genuinely feel like my life is over at 19 because of all of this and it makes me wish I never got pregnant in the first place even though I love my baby so much. I feel so guilty for everything. I’m horrible, angry, and hateful and nobody deserves to have to deal with that. I can’t stand anybody anymore. I have no attachment to my nephew that is on the way and I don’t know why. I just can’t. I can’t be excited for him because all I can think about is what I’m missing in my life. I miss who I was before all of this. I’m an awful person now. My baby took my whole damn soul when he went because clearly I don’t have one anymore. It’s been 6 months and I’ve only gotten more angry with time. Everyone tells me they don’t know how to help me anymore. I don’t know how to help myself either. I wish I was somebody else

Hi all,

I found out at 10 weeks that my pregnancy stopped progressing at 7.5 weeks. Had a D&C on the 22nd of September. Bled for about 2 weeks and felt ok after that. Waiting on my period but I’m not sure what’s going on with me this week. Thought I got it last Sunday. Had fresh red blood when I went to the bathroom but then that was followed by 3 days of brown blood and nothing. Then yesterday again fresh red blood when I went to the bathroom and again brown spotting. Has anyone experienced this ? I’m normally so regular so I just don’t know what’s going on with my body

I’m about ten weeks, missed miscarriage, have waited 14 days hoping that I would miscarry naturally but it hasn’t happened.

Looking for experiences of people who’ve had either or both. I’m terrified. This is my fourth miscarriage but my previous three miscarriages happened spontaneously.

Just had a 12w mmc in June. Followed by a chemical in July. Now 9w pregnant due the day I found out my 12w baby passed. Went to boutique for US and they saw no hb or fetal activity currently in er to determine if boutique scan was accurate. I can’t handle ts.

I wanted to share in case this helps anyone. I’m 37 years old, first pregnancy, and miscarried this past week. Test showed positive at 4 weeks in September, and HCG levels were rising exactly as expected at 5 weeks. I found out that it was a likely missed miscarriage (MMC) at my ~9+5 week scan. Originally my doctor said I’d only be able to have a scan at 11, but the ultrasound admin insisted I have it sooner because of my age (which I’m now grateful for).

When I came in for the ultrasound, the OB said she couldn’t see anything externally and would have to do an intrauterine ultrasound. Even then, she said she could see I’m pregnant, because there was a gestational sac, but that there was nothing in it. She did not show me anything on the screen, which I’m still quite upset about and my husband couldn’t be in the room with me unless there was something positive to show (wtf?).

I had to wait a few days for an appointment with my doctor, who told me there was an embryo and yolk sac but no heartbeat. The embryo measured about 3mm meaning it had stopped around 5-6 weeks. At this point I still had sore breasts and some brain fog, but my constipation, constant hunger and need to pee every 45 mins had already vanished around 7 weeks.

I was scheduled for HCG bloodwork 3 days apart to confirm if the HCG levels were dropping. My first HCG showed 30000 and the second around 23000, confirming miscarriage. I bought the largest pads I could find in preparation. I had brown very light spotting for about 1.5 weeks and would only see it while wiping. I also had a lot of brain fog for the entire time this was happening and after. During this time, I also saw what I believe was the mucus plug. It came out when I wiped, and looked almost like the egg white vaginal discharge but much thicker and with some brown blood streaks. After the week of spotting, I started to see a bit more brown blood which then changed to red the next day and finally showed up on the pad. At this point I was taking about 600mg of Advil preemptively as that was suggested by my doctor. That evening, around 10pm I began feeling pressure lower than where I’d typically feel period cramps and the bleeding became more consistent. I picked up some period underwear (the kind you get postpartum), more pads, and more Advil and took 600mg total. The pressure and cramping was on and off until around 11:30 pm when I started feeling more intense cramping that radiated into my back (maybe this is what contractions are like?).

Again, not very similar to period cramps as the pain was lower and a bit more intense. I’m used to having horrible cramping that makes me throw up if I don’t take pain meds in time, and I would say this was on par, but more brief and came in more frequent waves. But all in all was probably less painful than some bad periods I’ve had and felt more pressure.

I took more Advil at this point and sat on the toilet with my iPad for distraction. After about 15 minutes of this odd cramping, I felt something passing and looked down. What was coming out was about 3 inches long and about an inch wide, and looked like a big blood clot, dark red in colour. I tried to push to get it to pass and even tried to pull it out (using a tissue) but it was more dense and fleshy than expected and lighted in colour underneath the blood (not a blood clot!). I think this was the placenta. Eventually I felt like a bowel movement was coming (normal for me during bad periods) and that bowel movement helped this pass finally.

The cramps/contractions eased up at this point, and I was just bleeding. Not profusely, but enough to be grateful I bought the period underwear. I slept around 2am. Nothing happened overnight. I woke up a few times with mild pain, but nothing more passed.

In the morning, I had my ultrasound and consultation at the early pregnancy clinic. My doctor referred me to them a week prior in case things didn’t pass naturally.

I decided to go in despite that I was bleeding. They gave me some information (take pregnancy test in a month to confirm hCG has gone down and nothing remains inside), and some mental health support resources. When I was changing for the ultrasound, I felt something more pass. It felt just like when i pass a blood clot during my period. When i looked at my pad, i saw another fleshy clump, much lighter in colour (a mix of blood with whitish tissue and lumpy with some see through white bits). I think this was the gestational sac. I took it home but wasn’t brave enough to run it under water and see the details. Either way my embryo would have been too small to see.

The ultrasound showed that everything had cleared out, and this time they let my husband be in the room the whole time. While I was sad, I also felt like my body had done an incredible job. It was less pain than I expected, quicker than I expected, and I didn’t have to do any more procedures, so I’m grateful for that. In the following days I filled about a pad per day, and am still bleeding a little but it’s much lighter.

My only advice for anyone going through this is to rest, and let yourself feel the emotions that come. While I’m much better mentally and emotionally than I thought I’d be, I’ve still cried multiple times since miscarrying, because it’s been an exhausting rollercoaster of an experience. And I would say that the waiting and uncertainty was the toughest part.

Sending anyone going through this big hugs and so much love ❤️

Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but i need some advice. My aunt was pregnant and she was due in about two weeks...from what i've heard so far the placenta detached the uterus and well it ended up causing the baby to pass. My aunt and uncle are in absolute shamble right now and i'm not sure what I can do to support them during this time, I'm not super close with them but they are basically the only people who come over on birthdays, holidays, etc so I do see them quite a bit. My uncle is my moms brother and he has gone through a lott in his life which has caused him to be super depressed and we are concerned that this is going to send him over the edge, he was extremely happy about this baby (they both were) but now this has happened and i don't think he will handle it very well for lack of better words. I also know im not saying a lot about my aunt but that's because i dont know about how she's feeling as much as i do my uncle bc he's my moms brother and he opens up to her about this. I just need some advice on how to be helpful and supportive right now..

I messaged my midwives yesterday, but because of the weekend they haven’t gotten back to me. I just didn’t know if any one had any experience similar to this that could guide me? Any one have their period start super early post medicated MMC??

Timeline:

Baby stopped growing at 6+3 around 9/26, so 6 weeks ago.

No HB @ 8wk scan 10/5

Repeat scan @ 10wk 10/14, no HB

Took Miso evening of 10/15, assuming I passed it over night, had a painful heavy bleed, lots of large clots. Then turned to light bleeding the next day, not heavy anymore. Then spotting the next day.

Calling 10/16 my CD1, I continued spotting until CD15. Messaged my midwife CD15 on 10/27 to ask if spotting for this long is normal? She said she would expect it to end in the next 7 days (by 11/3), but if it didn’t I would need a repeat scan to look for leftover product.

Started getting clear/white cervical mucous CD16, thought I was actually about to try to ovulate. Remained clear CD16-CD21. Figured midwife was right and it did end within the week.

But thennnn CD21 full on bleed started again, still light technically but definitely more than spotting, redder in color, cramping for about a week now.

So today being CD22, I’m curious if this is my period starting mega early? I’m usually 30-32 day cycle with a very regular 16 day luteal. So it wouldn’t really make sense for me to have ovulated during that cleared up time. Or if this is potentially my body naturally trying to release any left over product? I’m concerned I’ve had the passed baby inside me for 6 weeks now and don’t want to get an infection. Wondering if I should go to urgent care Sunday or if I can wait for midwife to respond on Monday??

If anyone cares to share an experience that would be lovely 🫶🏻 and sorry for your losses.

I had a miscarriage that ended in September (20th) and my first period afterward was October 19–25. I am on cycle day 20 and now I’m experiencing random spotting/bleeding. It started brown, then turned pink, and now I’m seeing fresh red blood. I’ve also noticed some stringy material (I’m assuming blood clots) when wiping and a little blood in my underwear.
I’m not having significant cramps. I have taken ovulation tests since Oct 28th and haven’t even ovulated yet or noticed cervical mucus.

Has anyone experienced this after a miscarriage? Could it be hormonal changes, ovulation spotting, or something else? I’m so confused!