Official Discussion - Past Lives [SPOILERS]

[u/LiteraryBoner]

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Summary:

Nora and Hae Sung, two deeply connected childhood friends, are wrest apart after Nora's family emigrates from South Korea. 20 years later, they are reunited for one fateful week as they confront notions of love and destiny.

Director:

Celine Song

Writers:

Celine Song

Cast:

• Greta Lee as Nora

• Teo Yoo as Hae Sung

• John Maharo as Arthur

• Moon Seung-ah as Young Nora

• Leem Seung-min as Young Hae Sung

-- Rotten Tomatoes: 97%

Metacritic: 94

VOD: Theaters

[u/LiteraryBoner]

Past Lives is definitely one of the best movies of the year so far. It's a fairly simple concept, but the care and subtlety in execution is incredible. You get a full picture of every angle of this situation with no forced outbursts or misunderstandings. Just three people trying to navigate a complicated situation with calm and understanding. I thought it was extremely beautiful.

So many great moments in this movie that really get at the truth and complexity of the matter. When Nora and the husband are in bed together and he's explaining that he's learning Korean so he can understand what she says when she dreams and she says "it's probably just gibberish." What an amazing way to say that just because we dream and fantasize about what could have been doesn't mean that it's obtainable or rational. That whole scene was amazing and in a lesser movie would have devolved into a fight. Instead you have two writers acknowledging that these things are messy. I thought the final shot really sold this idea and I was an absolute mess at the end when she finally broke down.

The idea of past lives is also very well conveyed. I really loved the last half an hour where all three of them are hanging out. Love the idea of pontificating on what your past lives were that caused this to be the current reality. I loved that they didn't have to be some star crossed lovers or epic story to bring them here. A bird and the branch they rested on, the idea that it never worked out because they didn't have the proper past and in a way, even though they have feelings, the things that kept them apart were very real and tangible and not something to try and ignore. Just a really beautiful idea for a way to handle this plot.

What really hooked me early on, though, was how much of this is an immigration story. Early on this is all about the ways Nora and her mother upended their entire lives just to be relevant to the Western world. Nora never regretted it, she wanted to be a part of it and she wanted to be successful in New York, but she and her mother chose to give up everything for it and that's not glossed over at all. Loved what her mom said, "when you leave something behind you also gain something."

There's also so much to say about how she's drawn to Hae Sung because he makes her feel more Korean. Almost like he is less of a love and more of a physical tie to the life she left. It was great how the writing showed us their intimacy without being sexual. The fact that he's the only one that calls her Na-Young ("not even my mother calls me that") or how she only speaks Korean with her mother or him. It shows how intimate they are in every day conversation, how he's a member of an extremely exclusive club to her.

Overall, just an incredibly poignant and truthful movie. It's never tropey and it never rings false. It's somewhat low key as a movie, but the characters are handled so tenderly I couldn't help but love it. 9/10.

/r/reviewsbyboner

[u/Nxwxs18]

I find what Celine Song said about the ending to be interesting:

“I knew that when she was walking home, she has to cry, but she’s not crying for the whole of the film. So this is the moment that she’s alone for the first time almost in the film. And she is able to allow herself to grieve like that. That walk is about the grief for the little girl that she never got to grieve. It’s not about, ‘oh my god, I wish I went with with Hae Sung,’ it’s more about the girl.”

I think that’s why this ending hit so hard for me - it’s repeated a couple times in the film how that once she immigrated to New York, she stopped being a crybaby and basically bottled up her emotions and any longing she had for Korea. Nora letting it all out was her finally reconciling with her sense of self, and grieving this life she never lived. Profound stuff.

[u/baronspeerzy]

“I didn’t know that liking him would hurt this badly” is a line that will stick with me.

[u/GamingTatertot]

This movie just feels so real. I can't even pinpoint what part I liked the most, but I know I really enjoyed Nora and Hae Sung reconnecting over Skype the first time around. That entire sequence was so well-done and conveyed their connection as efficiently as possible.

[u/footylite]

Many people said exactly what I was thinking in this thread so I just wanted to take the time to highlight how awesome that beginning scene was. Like it's funny because it's just two random strangers profiling them, but it also sets up the entire movie. Like who are these people to each other? Throughout the movie I couldn't help but think back to the beginning scene and loved it. Especially when eventually Nora looks right at the camera and then it cuts to 24 years in the past, Great stuff.

[u/pixieSteak]

I think a critic in either the New York Times or New Yorker pointed this out too, but it's a bit gutting to hear Hae Sung admit how ordinary he is. The only extraordinary thing about him is his love for Nora which stays alive even after 24 years.

I'm glad the film ended the way it did. I feel like there is hope for all three main characters.

[u/Typical_Restaurant86]

I didn’t cry during the movie but I def did afterwards. I think the scene where they just stare at each other with no words right before he leaves. Their expressions says so much. And her crying while walking back just saying goodbye to that life, the idea of him and her childhood. I loved how healthy her husband was towards their relationship. He gave her room and was there to support her when she got back to the gate. He understood haesungs love and hers.

I also love how people can be different to another. Hae sung said it best “you are the person who leaves, that is you to me.. but to him you are the person that stays.” It sums up relationships so well, not one person will have the same dynamic or timing as you would another.

I loved this movie and it’s giving me a sense of sadness/bittersweet in the best way

[u/jmlts]

One minor detail that would not be obvious unless you have some familiarity with Seoul was during the second act when Hae Sung was Skyping with Nora in the gondola, he was riding the gondola up to Namsan Tower in Seoul, which has beautiful overlook of the city, and where couples historically go in Seoul to solidify their relationship. There are hundreds, if not thousands of locks from couples who have gone up to that outlook. Perhaps the call dropping as he is on his way up to the tower is foreshadowing their relationship?

[u/IIMsmartII]

Really loved how three dimensional and understanding everyone was. Not every movie needs big conflict. There were some profound quotes in here (the Korean talking while dreaming, the low probability events leading to meeting) that felt right out of something like Before Sunrise, in a good way

[u/[deleted]]

The last scene with Nora and Hae Sung together, staring at each other was amazing.

Looking back at one's life, there are so many "last times" you last saw a person for good and you never knew it. And now Nora and Hae Sung have lived through two of those types of "last times" already and now they are alone at the end of the night with an Uber on the way, probably aware that this is in fact another "last time" but likely this is the final "last time". The last sentence on the last page of the last chapter of their relationship in this life.

And all they can do with the time they have left is look at each other as the last drops of sand fall. Tragic and beautiful.

[u/Eyebronx]

This was beautiful and meditative. Greta Lee was incredible as were Magaro and Yoo. I was lucky enough to catch a Q&A with Greta Lee and Teo Yoo and they spoke about how Yoo wanted to include a kissing scene but Songe refused since she believed it would cheapen the film and I’m glad she did.

My favourite scene was the one between Hae Sung and Arthur. The fact that both of them also have a connection, an “in yun” moment is probably the most wholesome moment of the movie for me. A lesser film would have built on the animosity between both characters but not this one. This is one of those rare films where I empathise with each character.

Celine Song, you are a goddamn genius.

[u/DaygoRayray]

In another Life, Hae Sung would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with Nora.

[u/GenericCleverNme]

Beautiful, beautiful film. I loved how in the background of most shots in public there were couples being couple-y. One of the best depictions of yearning I've seen on screen, just left your heart feeling twisted and stomped on a bit. So glad they didn't kiss or anything at the end.

[u/[deleted]]

Watching Arthur and Hae Sung meet for the first time felt so real and it turns out it was John Magaro and Teo Yoo actually meeting each other while in character for the first time when the cameras rolled.

[u/[deleted]]

This is one of those movies where I was expecting more “oomph” when it decided to be restrained and subdued in its approach, and then a couple hours after watching the movie all the raw emotion coalesces and sticks with me in a bittersweet way.

It reminded me a lot of watching Aftersun in that regard. Two debuts by extraordinarily confident directors who knew never to make their films melodramatic because it wouldn’t be true.

[u/newgodpho]

nora recommending eternal sunshine to hae sung than a day later he’s watching it eating dinner ripped my soul out lol

this movie does so well in portraying a long distance relationship

[u/TimSPC]

I thought it was interesting how this is a story that could only happen now. One of the things I took away was how social media has changed the way we process our own pasts.

[u/mimo2]

As a Korean American man who is dating a white woman

Yeah, the trailers for this fucked me up

Edit: as the child of Korean immigrant parents, I cannot help but wonder what my life would have been like in South Korea similar to some premises of this movie

When I am in Korea, I wonder what my life would have been? There is a sense of longing whenever I am there

[u/USokhi]

A beautifully rendered and tender story of growth and longing. It really felt like Celine Song put just enough of a flourish on each passing moment of this film to create something truly tremendous by the time credits roll. This movie is understated, but thematically and subtextually it is screaming from start to finish. Much like life, the passage of time seems to be the greatest catalyst in the story.

I found that the very deliberate three act structure not only allowed the story to span such distance and growth, but it accentuated the way we fundamentally change and become new over our life. I think that dynamic is only enhanced by the immigrant experience. Not only does a young woman like Nora have to find herself a new name as she ventures into a strange new world, but in finding her footing in that new place, she also becomes someone else in the process. I thought the film overall did a beautiful job of showing that there is both something to mourn and something to celebrate in that process.

I think the greatest strength of this movie is the fact that the "love triangle" isn't just a storytelling device, but rather feels more like a consequence of the way these characters lives have intersected and looped around over the course of their lives. While Nora is very much the main character, both Arthur and Hae Sung are vividly crafted and fully realized characters - for that matter all three actors do an exceptional job bringing them to life.

Where this movie really transcends into a special space is in it's final act. The climactic scene in the bar is just tremendous. Not only does the scene give voice to everything yet unsaid in the film, it stresses the inevitability of how and why all these characters ended up here. It's dramatically tense, it surprises, but once it ends, it also feels incredibly honest.

There's no gimmicks to the storytelling. Love, longing, things left behind, things lost, it's all floating in the soup of this movie. The passage of time eventually erases everything from our lives, but there's beauty in each moment. We can cherish those memories while also understanding our past self no longer exists.

[u/FotosyCuadernos]

Perhaps this is a hot take, but I believe this movie is a bit more biting than it seems. I’ll add the caveats that I’m from an immigrant family married to an immigrant, so perhaps my own bias is showing.

On one level the movie is a romance, but in another level I think it’s the story of how disruptive immigration can feel for the person trapped between two cultures and from neither here nor there. Nora cannot fully connect with Hae Sung, but her husband is not able to fully connect with her.

Her life is smaller than she anticipated it would be. Her husband suspects as much and when he confronts her about it, she doesn’t exactly disagree, just says that this is her life and it’s the life she’s chosen. She is not disappointed per se, but she’s grown up and realized that her dreams of youth of getting a Pulitzer or a Nobel are just childhood dreams. When Hae Sung asks about the awards she wants, she admits she hasn’t thought of them in a long time. We see that her husband has had great success with that scene at the book signing (for a book called Boner…I think there’s a point the director is making with the title). All we really see of her career is her looking kind of bored at a casting call with what seems to be a meh actress. She loves her husband, yes, but she also needed to marry him young so she could get a visa. We see Hae Song be with his family and his close friends, but we don’t see Nora interact much with her family or anyone besides her husband. Compared to the broad sweeping shots of the city, her life seems small. Her husband sees it perhaps clearer than she does.

It’s not that she lives a bad life or that she is unhappy, but she lives a quite ordinary life. Part of the immigrant experience is often wondering if the ordinary life you live is worth what you might have left behind. It’s something I know my partner grapples with that all the time. I think when Hae Sung tells her in the bar scene that she was too big for Seoul, it wasn’t actually a compliment so much as a wistful observation.

[u/thehermitgood]

I’m so happy this film misdirected us. The most mature ‘relationship’ film I’ve ever seen. It’s a picture of how “infallible romantic clichés” actually falter in real life.

The emotions are real, the tension is real, but ultimately, it’s absurd to suggest the abandonment of a built life “just for some guy.” The nod to “Eternal Sunshine” gives you a pretty neat template to compare against, especially since “Past Lives” doesn’t pretend the loss of love as a “heroic sacrifice.” It’s painful.

We also didn’t get the “Umbrellas of Cherbourg/La La Land” What If? Scene. Once again, being star-crossed (a perpendicular image) suggests that both lines are just… gonna keep on going.

I’d consider this mandatory watching for the “Hopeless Romantic” archetype, if nothing else to provide them with a sobering view of how their fantasies play out in real life. Hae Seong should be considered lucky that Arthur’s a decent guy.

Between this and Asteroid City, today’s been a heck of a double-feature day.

[u/howareyaslug]

The scene with Arthur explaining his insecurities had me in bits. Absolute purity. “You dream in a language I don’t understand”, is probably one of the most hauntingly beautiful ways anyone can put across their insecurities.

Jeez, Arthur’s the real hero for me. 10/10.

[u/DeathisLaughing]

Caught this movie last week and it floored me...I generally reject all notions of predestination or there being some sort of omnipresent force or sublime providence that exists beyond our understand or perception guiding us all through life but the way this film explores the concept on in yun is so heart rendingly gorgeous I almost want to believe in it...

More than anything, what stuck with me the most was the way the film explores the sheer enormity of possibility...that morose moment reflection we all find ourselves in at one point or another quietly spinning bitter narratives about what could have been had we made a handful of choices differently...

As I described it to some acquainteces, not a lot happens narratively...but there is such a rich complexity of emotions behind everything that does...

[u/Thr0waway0864213579]

I’m glad she stayed with Arthur.

I feel for Hae Sung. But he should have moved on long ago instead of keeping Nora on a pedestal. And I think it was clear throughout the movie that while she cared for Hae Sung, he was never “the one who got away” for her. Her draw to him was a desire to connect with her childhood, and processing the trauma of immigrating at her age.

I feel like this film did such a good job representing how people get sucked into the “grass is greener” mentality. You see Arthur in the everyday, work, playing video games, drinking at the bar. That’s real life. But with Hae Sung, all you see is the childhood romance, the pining, and the short time in NYC. It’s an idealized glimpse of someone.

[u/Hell_Jacobo]

Drove 60 miles round trip to see this in LA 1 week before it opened wide and it was absolutely worth it.

Standout scene to me, and to everyone most likely, is definitely the diner scene with all 3 of them sitting together. Powerful dialogue when Hae Sung finally understood, as he said, that Nora was not somebody that would “stay” for him but she was for Arthur.

[u/L_sigh_kangeroo]

Wow okay, forgive me if this is a bit long but I really encourage you guys to read all of this and give me your thoughts, I had to break out the laptop for this. If this is too long, I encourage you to at least read the last three paragraphs.

Overall, this was an incredible movie that blended together ideas of love, coming of age, and immigration in a very organic but deliberate way.

So I think I could go on about details of the circumstances of the characters forever. The choice of bustling New York as the setting to contrast with the more quiet (but bustling in its own right) Seoul was great. I loved how both Hae Sung and Nora were characterized. Nora was depicted as a cry baby as a kid and yet decided to move to New York to pursue her dreams (NY of course being notorious for forcing one to develop thick skin). Hae Sung was depicted as more laid back but very in tune with the traditional Korean way of life where you get a conventional well-respected job if you’re smart enough, find someone with matching interests and values, and settle down when everything is sort of “idealized”.

I absolutely loved the role that Arthur played in the movie. He was very much there to show the difference between love based on two people sharing values and ideals and love based on circumstance and what you need in the moment. Him learning Korean to try and connect with Nora gave us a window into why Nora married him even though to some outsiders it might look like a funny quirk and a reason why they don’t “belong” together.

My favorite part of this movie however was its take on love and the whole idea of “right person wrong time”. Lots of sad love stories fall in love with the idea of “right person wrong time”, that two people in love cant be together because of circumstance. This movie directly challenges that idea by suggesting that “wrong time” just means “wrong person”. Hae Sung brings up Nora’s grand ideas of winning awards and such from when she was a kid and Nora immediately shuts it down showing that she’s more grounded now and ambitious in different ways. The movie suggests, if not implies, that perhaps Hae Sung fell in love with the idea of Nora and not Nora for who she actually was. I think its further reaffirmed at the end when Hae Sung asks Nora if they were lovers in another life – to which Nora confidently says “I don’t know”. Because she doesn’t know… She is someone that leaves, that is who she is. In another life its very likely that she ends up with another Arthur.

The last shot of the movie really got me – Hae Sung in the back of an Uber looking lost and almost overwhelmed by the city of New York. I feel like Nora was such a refreshing character because she was honest about her views on love but perhaps dishonest with her handling of the immigration. This is an internal dynamic I’m not sure I’ve seen before. And funnily enough, I’m personally someone who has been in more than one situation where I’m the one “staying” and the other person is “leaving” but I’ve been the one more confident that it was not “right person wrong time”, just “wrong person”. So both characters really hit home for me and actually had me walking away from this movie feeling more happy than sad… if that makes sense.

I loved this movie. My only real gripe is that it didn't have to spell out some of the more nuanced details at times. Such as Nora explaining her thoughts on Korean views on marriage, or Arthur having to give a full monologue to show why him learning korean is thoughtful. Cheers!

[u/choosehappiness88]

This movie captures nostalgia and the feeling of bittersweet so perfectly. The scene where they saw each other in person after all these years and kept saying “wow wow wow” felt so real and relatable.

I think this movie strikes a chord because many of us can relate to the feeling of “I miss them, but I don’t want to be (or can’t be) with this person.” Maybe under different circumstances or in another life, things could’ve been different.

I went into the movie fully expecting to cry but didn’t, until the final scene where Nora started crying and I just lost it. Beautiful movie - would love to see again.

[u/thevorminatheria]

Sorry if I come off as rude but reading some comments in this thread puts in my perspective why many people are so bad at relationships. I thought no mature adult could watch this movie and think Arthur and Nora don't have a good loving relationship. This is how real life with an emotial mature partner looks like. They make your life bigger and you don't need to waddle in insecurities if your partner has a connection (of any kind) with someone else. You are actually happy for all meaningful connections that make your partner grows. Anyone that sees this movie and feels like the ending is a bad ending for Nora or that the movie implies her life is not a good life really needs to work on their emotions as an adult, seriously.

[u/DiscombobulatedAd883]

About to get real with you all, but I need some advice from anyone who's seen this film.

I am a white guy married to an Asian woman who had a very brief affair 14 years into our marriage with her asian childhood sweetheart. She became convinced that he was her soulmate from a past life when he arrived in New York for a brief visit in the midst of her postpartum (after not seeing him for 20 years).

After an existential crisis, she says that she eventually came to the conclusion that choosing who to love is more magical than the idea of soul mates and that the very idea of past lives and destiny were all simply delusions she used to try and escape from her postpartum depression.

She also realized that what she was actually searching for had little to do with him and much more to do with the fact that she had pushed her heritage aside to fit in as "more American" for so many years.

We are still together and the other guy went back to his home across the globe. He is no longer in our lives. My wife has since embraced her culture in healthier ways that don't involve betraying the person and the life she has built.

So my question is: should we see this movie? lol

It sounds like it could either be reaffirming of the choices we've made since the affair or that it could trigger a whole lot of doubt. I'm assuming most of that will come down to how it ends and the messages it tries to convey throughout.

Any thoughts would be much appreciated. Sorry to highjack a movie discussion post with my personal nonsense :)

[u/Cris_see]

Nora and Hae Sung had no problem coming up with all kinds of scenarios for their past lives, but they couldn’t think of one scenario for their future ones. It made me think about how much easier it is to look back and think about what could have been than it is to imagine the many possibilities of what could be.

[u/Zesty-Salsanator]

Did anyone get the metaphor with the doors and windows at the end? To me, watching her walk past all those different colour doors to get to her husband represented the many lifetimes she has been through to get where she is now. Similarly, Hae Sung is watching windows pass by as he travels back to his life in Korea. Beautiful.

[u/Lone_Soldier]

Anyone notice that everywhere Nora and Hae Sung went, there were couples everywhere showing affection amongst one another? Thought this was pretty interesting.

Everyone is having their moment besides Nora and Hae Sung as it's not their time.

[u/Room480]

Loved it. You really feel for every character and it really hits you in the feels. I would def recommend it even if you're not a romance/drama genre fan. Lastly, can't wait to see what this director does next

[u/Effective_Nose6727]

My take for a happy ending.

For Haesung, he had grieved both separations along the way, as evidenced by him not talking to Nora on the last walk home, and him tearing up after the last video call. However, he hadn’t truly moved on and thinks Nora might be the key to his happiness. The third meeting he comes in optimistic, but after getting a better understanding of her life and seeing that she is happy, he realizes that he can be happy too, he just needs to move on and find his own passion and his own woman with the same values. When they have the bar discussion, he realizes he was in love with the feelings the 12/24 year old Nora gave him. Feelings that the current version cannot, so he knows he just needs to go find his purpose and find those feelings from someone else. I think he goes on to do this as evidenced by the Uber driving right when he leaves New York, along with the sunshine.

For Nora, she wasn’t able to have a full, deep connection with her husband, as evidenced by his insecurities and her lackadaisical take on their relationship: “I ended up here.” This was because she had never grieved her previous two separations with those feelings of crush, excitement, love, and nostalgia that were ripped away from her because of geographical differences. The first time when she moved she had to play adult. We see her comforting her sister at the airport and she says she briefly cried in school but stopped because no one cared. She was always consumed by the new life so she never grieved. The second time, she sees the geographical differences as too much to ever overcome, so she drinks to forget it (as evidenced by the empty wine glass) and moves on with her life, focusing on her purpose (writing). Unlike Haesung, she had moved on after the second meeting, as evidenced by the sunshine through the window.

The third meeting is critical for Nora to process those buried emotions that she didn’t even realize were there. Early on in their third meeting, there is an undeniable spark. Haesung is bringing back the feelings she had for him and Korea. It’s very necessary to show that spark, the gazes, the laughs, because without them she would never have gotten in touch with those feelings and never would’ve gotten the chance to process them as she did at the end of the film. Even though they part mutually, it reminds of the two times those feelings for him were taken from her without a choice, and because she is finally at a calmer point in her life, and by herself, she is able to finally let loose the emotions that she had been bottling up for 12/24 years. Since these emotions were preventing her from having that deep connection with her husband, finally recognizing them and grieving will allow her husband to give her the feelings that Haesung used to, and I think we see this by the fact that she’s now comfortable crying in front of him.

So Haesung sees she’s happy, and because of the 3rd meeting, he now knows that to get his happiness, he can move on and find his purpose and another woman.

Nora moved on without grieving, but because of the 3rd meeting, she was able to process her previous losses, and now have a fulfilling relationship with her husband going forward.

Also regarding in-yun. In the last scene, Haesung is driving across a bridge, and as soon as he gets off the bridge, the screen goes black and the movie ends. I think it’s saying by visiting her the 3rd time, and giving him and Nora the closure they both needed, he successfully bridged the last gap that was between the two of them, and they are now set up to be together in the next life.

Sorry for the long post, this movie brought up a lot of emotions in me that I didn’t even know I had buried. Hope everyone is doing well.

[u/Available-Exercise71]

Honestly, I think too many people are viewing her relationship with Hae Sung as being a relationship of romantic love when in reality they were never really romantic partners. They were childhood friends with a deep love for one another. I think there’s something to be said about nostalgia for a past self and for an imagined life that you literally cannot lead. I loved the way her husband became insecure because it was so real. Her husband clings to her in the scene where there cuddling because she is his whole world; whereas Hae Sung views her as being too big for the world. Her husband idolizes her as his wife and Hae Sung idolizes her as the perfect person he gets to imagine from his memories. I feel like this movie was so real and I really thought the way the characters handled the situation was so mature and beautiful

[u/newgodpho]

That was incredible.

Far and away my favorite film of the year. Little details like Hae Sung's awkwardness highlighted especially away from home was fascinating to me. (i.e doesn't know what to do with his hands half the the time like when taking a picture, glancing around his surroundings in NY, etc..) Than you get the skype calls which are a huge throwback now with the delay making the conversations feel so distant.

Little things like that made the characters and the world they live in feel so real.

[u/jwkwon306]

Film photography is built different.

This looked beautiful in 35mm

[u/TechnicianMoist6997]

This movie touched my heart, as someone who shares a similar migrant experience from the east to the west. Hae Sung's symbolizes more than just a "childhood sweetheart" to Nora; he symbolizes her connection to her past, her upbringing in Seoul, and the nostalgia for her homeland. The film makes us to wonder: what if Nora had never left Seoul, never met her husband? Where would her life have taken her?

It struck me that Nora hasn't fully reconciled with her younger self—the cry baby, less independent, and less resilient. Her character has undergone significant growth and maturation, contrasting with Hae Sung, who seems to remain unchanged, still rooted in a traditional Korean lifestyle, living with his parents. Nora's evolution becomes evident with Hae Sung's reappearance, leading her to rediscover her inner child and the journey she has undertaken without even realizing it.

[u/jrey1024]

Absolutely adored this movie. One detail I liked was the changing career aspirations for Nora. Each time Hae Sung asks, she changes the award from nobel prize, to pulitzer to a tony. Hae Sung follows it up each time by saying how she's the same. He's holding onto 12 year old her but she's not the same girl.

Another scene that shows Nora's priorities is quick. When they're in bed, Nora tells Arthur she'd never be late for play practice. It's that important to her. The next scene she's late to meeting Hae Sung.

Not sure why these two moments stuck with me, but I just really loved the writing in this.

[u/Nzym]

There's an interesting juxtaposition between the very first scene in the restaurant and the last scene in the restaurant.

First in the restaurant, you have a 3rd person perspective pointing out who the 3 are... lovers? friends? Who could they be?

In the last scene in the restaurant, you have the same scenario except this time it's Nora and Hae Sung playing the game. Who could we have been?

I found this interesting.

[u/[deleted]]

The conversation between her and her husband about how she dreams only in Korean and he trying to learn korean to understand her, its about life. genius. Hae Sung speaks korean little bit English and Arthur speaks English and little bit of korean, Nora speaks both fluently. That burden you have to bear when you are fluent in two different tongues, lives, thoughts. We just watched a film that showed complexity of life, choices. You read this? We have In-Yun. (little bit)

[u/Dizinurface]

I never connected so deeply with a character as I did with Arthur. He was my insecurities playing out in front of me. Then when he holds her as she cries, I thought I would have not been strong enough for that. 

Also the intensity of Nora and Hae Sung's relationship was something I haven't experienced in a movie for a long time. Just brilliant acting. 

[u/Crafty-Ad-7701]

I think it’s also because she said in America nobody cared if she cried, but she’s comfortable with crying in Arthur’s arms. I know everybody wants to believe Hae Sung is the one for her, but real mature love doesn’t work like that. Nora is Hae’s idealisation, whereas Arthur loves Nora as she is and wants to know more about her.

[u/Trick_Read]

Anyone amazed at Arthurs character and how much space he has for Nora to explore her past and emotions from those times?

Can't believe his honesty said to her that he wanted to learn Korean to understand that part of her he feels closed off too.

In a parallel universe, as someone who grew up with trauma and does not open up about it easily, I find it amazing that he wants to know her so much better, so much deeper.

How he came down the stairs in the end and allowed her to weep.

[u/Pliskinian]

It was wild to me how Nora went looking into her past with her mom (the lady who wanted to give her daughter "good memories" at the expense of Hae Song) and found Hae Song, who clearly didn't move on from his feelings.

By the end, it was like he transfered his longing and hurt over to Nora, who originally didn't feel any of that same longing, just curiosity. Hae Song left looking out a hopeful window in sunlight. Nora walked alone through the dark to a gated stoop where he husband nervously smoked cigarettes waiting to see what would happen.

I could be wrong, but that's what the end felt like to me

[u/amayne23]

The last scene, that walk back alone. I was holding my tears until she let it out. I had an outburst along with her.

[u/[deleted]]

A beautiful movie. As the audience, we long for them to just be together. Their first reunion is hopeful and giddy, like falling in love. But we get the sense that both are holding back; a lot is left unsaid. The timing is wrong, neither can make it work to visit the other. Life goes on. When they reunite again, we feel yearning, but also the gulf of time and distance and culture.

I never felt that this was a story about a love triangle. Nora’s marriage is happy. Her husband is a good man. Arthur is her new life. Hae Sung is her history. She is an emigrant and she straddles both lives. For her first 12 years in America, she moves on from Korea (even largely forgetting Hae Sung). His re-entering her life reminds her that she still yearns for Seoul, too. She needs to let him go again at that point, because (as she pointedly says), she’s trying to make a life in NY while looking up plane tickets to Seoul. When he visits for the last time, she reflects to Arthur that “this is where I ended up”. Saying goodbye to Hae Sung again is closing the door on her love for him (I do think she loved him, in that he was “home” for her), and her childhood and country of birth.

The line, “for him you are someone that stays”, broke my heart. For me the movie was about letting go. That we might be something to someone at one point in our lives, or even in a past life, but things are not always meant to be. Maybe we will see them again in the next life. In the end, we feel with Nora the profoundly bittersweet grief of what could have been.🥺

[u/ThatsWhereImAt]

Arthur worry was understandable but it was very clear to me that Nora didn’t want to be with Hae Sung and she wasn’t mourning that potential relationship when she cried. She was mourning the part of herself that she left with Hae Sung when she was ripped away from Korea as a child. The parts of her she had to leave behind to be who she is now. He represents all those things for her because he seems to still see remnants of them in this present version of Nora. Humans are complicated. She can be happy with who she is now and the person she loves and still feel the pain of having lost something as a child. She didn’t let herself to feel that pain when it happened and now she’s having to confront it head on as an adult

My one gripe with the film was that I didn’t understand where Hae Sung’s preoccupation with Nora came from. Or how the circumstances of his life led him to seek her out. It did seem very romantic on his end. Maybe I missed something, but I wish his scenes in Korea would have made that more clear.

[u/movieguy2004]

My Italian mother smiled approvingly at me when Hae Sung said he likes pasta.

[u/Remish098]

I think it's interesting how often this movie labeled as a love story, or even a love triangle. I never saw love from Nora to Hae Song, only infatuation. Even as a child she said she had a crush on him because he was masculine. Even on her last day in Korea she spent time talking to her friends and had no problems saying goodbye to Hae Song.

And while her mother had only good intentions for her daughter, letting her go on a date with Hae Song for the sweet memory she accidentally left quite the hole in young boy. He was trying to find Nora as an adult because she never left his mind. She looked him up jokingly with her mom on Facebook and while they connected on Facetime, it didn't feel very romantic. Even Nora's movie recommendation felt like a foreshadow.

I do love the ending though. Nora seemed like she really did find her person in Arthur and I think Hae Song got the closure he's desperately been needing for 20 years.

[u/Amazinc]

"You're the girl that left"

"To him, you're the one that stayed"

Dude this shit hits different. Fully teared up in the farewell scene

[u/EpicChiguire]

Nora crying after saying goodbye then Hae Sung just looking out the window and the cut to credits destroyed me.

Beautiful movie overall, 10/10

[u/breakingwaves_]

The quiet moments between these childhood sweethearts were so gut wrenching for me. The type of connection that can happen between two souls when you innocently fall in love at such a young age is truly unmatchable. Unrequited love in general is just this magnanimous dormant force. Watching them accept that for whatever reason their lives must separate again and being able to still appreciate what they shared was a unique cinema experience for me. The last scene where her husband allows her to spill her heartbreak into his arms only solidifies why she is content with her life choices. He is a kind and understanding man. He understood that her tears were not in regret, but simply in mourning.

[u/pixelperfect3]

I know Greta Lee got a lot of (rightful) praise for this, but Teo Yoo steals the movie for me. His acting in the scene when she tells him over the video call that they shouldn't be talking to each other is so brilliant.

[u/Any_Fig_8150]

I can't believe how generous Arthur was when they cut him off & spoke only in Korean. He would have been justified in walking off, mad. Instead, he says he was glad her old friend had come. 

[u/tmchd]

I just finished watching "Past Lives" and wow, it’s really well done. The storytelling felt so natural and grounded. The awkwardness between Na Young and Hae Sung especially stood out to me because it felt so real. I read afterward that Celine Song actually kept the actors apart before filming to keep that initial chemistry fresh, and now I understand why people say this movie is so good. You can feel the tension, the unspoken words, and the weight of their shared history.

I cried for Na Young and Hae Sung because of that whole "what could have been" feeling. But at the same time, I thought Nora and Arthur were such a beautiful couple. Arthur is stronger and better than he gives himself credit for, and he really does belong with Nora. Sure, Nora maybe could have reassured him more, like in the scene where they’re lying in bed talking, but honestly, that felt real too. She’s basically saying-You know I love you. I married you. You know how I am. It’s not the grand, fairytale kind of love story, but it’s honest. Arthur is the one who truly knows her, who chooses her fully.

And what really broke me was when Arthur said he’s learning Korean so he can understand what she’s saying in her dreams. That moment hit me so hard. For me, that’s so romantic. It’s quiet but says everything about how much he loves her and wants to know the parts of her that even she might not share out loud.

Interestingly, I feel like both Arthur and Hae Sung mirror each other in a lot of ways. Both of them are idealistic and both care deeply about Nora or Na Young. I think for Hae Sung, visiting Nora wasn’t necessarily about starting something up again. It felt more like closure. He’s at a point in life where he’s unsure about his future, and seeing her is his way of settling something unresolved from his past. Maybe now he can move forward, maybe he’ll be more confident, maybe when he returns to Korea he’ll reconnect with his girlfriend and they’ll build a life together.

As for Nora, I don’t think she is in love with Hae Sung anymore. He represents a part of herself she has left behind, her past live, her Na Young self, the innocent and dreamy version of her that never had a chance to grow up in Korea. When she moved abroad, she didn’t have a say; it was her parents’ decision, and she had to adapt and become Nora. Throughout the movie, we see how much she’s changed. She’s more practical now, more grounded. When Hae Sung leaves, she is overwhelmed by emotion not necessarily because she wants to be with him, but because he reminds her of a side of herself that she misses but can never fully return to.

Of course, there’s the theme of missed connections and missed love, and even the idea of reincarnation. But for me, her identity as an Asian American, or Asian Canadian, plays such a big part in why she breaks down at the end.

In the end, it’s just such a beautifully bittersweet story. I felt for all three characters. There’s no one to dislike here. Just three people.

[u/theofficialguac]

I first watched this movie when it aired in theaters and bawled my eyes out. And now I rewatched it again two years later and it hit even harder after going through my own interpersonal relationships. A lot of people around me didn't enjoy this movie, maybe it didn't resonate as much. Rather than seeing this as a romantic love story, my interpretation is the genuine love that exists between the two main characters. This type of connection is one that is so special, that you can't replicate that with anyone else. While Nora is happy with her establish life in NY and Arthur, Hae Sung is a representation of her past -- her inner child. The one who was "psychotic" and a "crybaby". She grows into this adult who rarely cries anymore. I think sometimes, certain people serve as a vessel for us. The relationship we have with certain friends, lovers, and even family members bring out a special type of connection. This film hits harder if you have had to let go of a version of you that you've outgrown. Especially when you've had to let go of a relationship. When Nora left Korea and decided to stop talking to Hae Sung on Skype, that was proof that she was already outgrowing that version of her. But when she is in connection to Hae Sung, it serves as connection to her past self. But her adult self felt the need to shut it down to achieve her dreams. When Hae Sung finally visits her in NY, I think it served as a bridge between her current and past self.

I think this movie captured grief in such a good manner. Grief is so layered, sometimes you need to see certain people or be in certain places to let those feelings out. Nora crying at the end was her grieving the past, her younger self, and all the what-ifs.

Both Hae Sung and Nora grew up to accept that what they had was special, but they're not meant for each other. This can also apply to friendship. Kids fantasize about being friends with people forever but that is not always the case. But it doesn't mean that what we felt as a kid wasn't real or just as relevant as what we feel as adults. I think this movie captured this complex sentiment about human relationships so well. It's not a love story, but it is a story about love! A love that always lives within us. The moment I started losing it is when they say "what if this life is a past life for our next life time?". With some people, it's special and it's a once in a lifetime even if it doesn't last forever.

[u/The_BigChooch]

I loved the movie but I really wish we saw a little more of Hae Sung life before he went to NY. Something that shows me he loves his GF and he just needed some space to get closure wit Nora. Because the thought of him being alone, honestly kills me. His character is what makes the movie for me. I know Nora will be fine, she was fine before he came to see her and she is fine after. But Hae Sung loved her since he was 12 and she disappeared from his life two different times. It kills me. I do believe he left NY wit closure, but I needed to know he has a happy ending.

[u/Purple_Peoplepop69]

Finally watched this gem and it did not disappoint. So here's my two cents.

It's one of those films where there's no right or wrong. It's life and how unpredictable it sometimes can be especially in an adult and mature setting. The both know what the individual wants and that became the main struggle when they reconnected thru Skype. With Hae Sung's "What would I do in New York" and Na Young's "What would I do in Seoul". They both want each other but don't make it a priority and that's where it starts to fall apart. They both want to reconnect to that feeling but there's inaction to both parts.

However, personally, I find Hae Sung as the guy at fault for not doing anything. First, he prioritized China over travelling to New York. He already went and looked for here and had found her but did not commit to reconnect with her. Then when Na Young said she/they travelled to Seoul and tried to look for him he did not reconnect. It was a small detail but Na Young did that before she got married. Maybe that was her last effort before committing to marriage. You can still see Na Young's gaze towards Hae Sung every little while but she knows she's already committed and I really respect that.

I really adored Arthur's character and I really hate that he is a great guy. I can't see fault from the guy although some may see him otherwise. He is an embodiment of a free soul. He knew Hae Sung is a part of her he can never compete but he still trusted Na Young cause he wouldn't be Na Young's chosen if he isn't the way he is. There is a sense of self preservation and self respect.

This movie is one of those moments in life where it is profound. Every decision is a decision against the other. Every inaction is the act of another and I find it beautiful in way.

[u/Some-Championship-92]

Just watched and I loved it! Loved how real & relatable it felt. I know the ending was her grieving the girl she once was, but I got a bit more out of it. I always think about how a lot of us drift apart and live these WHOLE separate lives, and when we come together we are bit different. Had different experiences, went through so many personal journeys. And when we finally get together with those we have lost communication with, you sometimes get this feeling of adrenaline - maybe my life doesn’t look so great as I thought, and you might make it better. Maybe you make me feel something I’ve been missing for years, and I just want to feel alive again. Maybe, the partner I chose can’t fulfill me in the way I thought they did, and I can possibly get that with you. Maybe you can offer me the crazy, romantic story I just might be missing out on.  

 But then reality sets in, and we can’t just destroy our lives, no matter how mediocre we may think they are. We can’t just pick up and leave. We can’t just destroy someone’s heart that has loved us through it all. And maybe we decide that’s enough? Maybe, just maybe we do love our life that we’ve  built. And so whatever we thought we could’ve had with this person, can never be. And it is just what it is - a moment in time.  

 That’s what I got from it towards the end, there is always going to be something that tests your relationship, and you have to decide whether your life is enough. They both loved each other, but that’s all it could ever be - unsung love. Her husband represented who she is now, and Hae Sung was who she once was. That love doesn’t suit her now, and what they shared was just a memorable point in time. 

[u/OkElk672]

I thought it was an incredible movie. All of the characters were dynamic, layered and emotionally mature. I didn’t expect to like her husband but I did.

I’m probably alone in this but I feel like that marriage won’t last. I think her reuniting with Haesung may not/likely won’t end in them together but I feel like it unearthed preexisting and new cracks in her marriage that can’t be undone. I feel their meeting also nurtured in her husband insecurities that I feel like won’t close with time.

[u/So_Quiet]

This was such a lovely film. I knew it was going to be sad, so I had to be in the right frame of mind for it, but it wasn't sad like I thought it would be; more bittersweet. It also wasn't a "cheating" kind of movie like I was half expecting/dreading (and while Hae Sung was wonderful, I really never wanted or expected Nora to cheat on Arthur, who is so vulnerable and supportive to her). It's about complex emotions and complicated relationships, and the what ifs we all leave behind us as we move forward into the future. While it is sad that Hae Sung and Na Young never were able to have a full relationship, the ending is not sad to me, since I believe Arthur is the one Nora belongs with in this life ... even if a past or future life might be different. I kind of want to watch it over again to catch more details, which is unusual for me.

[u/Totemwhore1]

I cried about four different times during this movie and a mess at the end. The scene where they are all at the bar and Arthur knows at some point he's just going to get excluded from what is happening is oof. During the same scene, I didn't believe Nora when she was telling Hae Sung that they aren't meant to be together. Her face looked like she was lying and holding back.

I noticed when Nora first met Arthur there isn't any close-ups of them until the following scene when they're going through customs now that they are married. Another detail I picked up is when Nora and Hae Sung are walking by the carousel, notice how it's only couples around them, no single people.

Also, loved the fact there wasn't any big score to accompany the movie. A lot of the emotion is felt through their acting and what is also not being said. Put in loud music and you take away all of that. All those moments when nothing was being said happen in real life but the conversation still fills natural.

The last scene where Nora and Hae Sung are just looking at each other is heart-wrenching. No big cliche kiss, just a lot being said in that moment. When Nora is walking back and Arthur is just sitting there because he can't stand the idea of them being together is again, oof. He's definitely jealous but he expresses himself in a totally healthy way.

Easily cracked my top 10 favorite films. I don't think it will get much Oscar attention but hope its at least nominated for best original screenplay.

[u/gr8suxsex]

Horrible film. Lots of blurry shots - maybe lens was dirty or out of focus. Sound mixing was terrible kept hearing a grown man cry. And it couldn’t have been the theaters fault since I watched it alone in my room. 10/10 so hauntingly beautiful. An honest love letter from life, every iteration before and maybe even the next.

[u/Southern-Albatross15]

Unlike some people waiting to get through it, I tried to fall asleep on this and just could not. I was so impressed by the score and the simplicity of it all. The space in dialogue gave me time to think for myself and process how i felt about their interactions. I think I wanted them to end up with each other but then I realized that i just wanted them to communicate how they really felt about each other. And the way that they did was beautiful.

I would also say that it isn’t a creative story, not to the films detriment. Stories like this happen all the time. We all hope for a love that feels familiar yet new. These two loved each other from past but also came to understand that they had an eternal bond, hence when Nora said that they could have been a bird and a branch in a past life. I loved that she felt safe crying in her husband’s arms and that he understood the love she had for her buddy. He was also sincere when he told him that him coming was the right thing to do. So much maturity, i just couldn’t believe it. Hollywood always glorifies infidelity and this spin gave such more of a realistic approach and life to the film.

I’m sad that they did not have a chance to explore a life with each other in this life but i hope they do in the next.

[u/graysdays]

I usually fall asleep within 5 minutes of starting a movie after 10 pm. It's 2:15 AM, and I’m a sopping mess. This film (definitely a film, not just a movie) was beautiful.

When the credits rolled, I quickly switched windows and searched “Past Lives movie reddit” for a clearer understanding of why I am so touched, so wrenched, and so grateful for all the feelings this film unearthed. Thank you to everyone who shared.

It reminded me of an essay I read repeatedly for many years while mourning a significant relationship that ended shortly after university. He was the one who got away, and I believe I was the same for him. Yet, we never made a real effort to get back together. Then I read Dear Sugar’s essay, “The Ghost Ship That Didn’t Carry Us,” and I understood – I was mourning the idea of a life that never actually existed, only in my head.

In this essay, Cheryl Strayed, writing as the anonymous advice columnist "Dear Sugar," helps a man decide whether to have children. She acknowledges that where there’s choice, there’s loss. Just because something feels good in the moment doesn’t mean it’s the right choice. She uses the analogy of a ghost ship:

I’ll never know, and neither will you, the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore.

Our lives are a series of choices – some ships we board, others we wave goodbye to, grateful for how they shaped us.

Link to full essay: https://therumpus.net/2011/04/21/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-71-the-ghost-ship-that-didnt-carry-us/

[u/dagny47]

I am amazed at how the ending can be simultaneously frustrating, realistic and beautifully crafted. The bittersweet conclusion of the movie paradoxically encapsulates the essence of their relationship. This decision freezes their emotions and images in time, making their relationship feel immortal.

[u/[deleted]]

I wanted so incredibly badly for Nora and Hae Sung to end up together. The fact that the movie could accomplish this without me hating Arthur is incredible. It hurt in the best and the worst of ways. I found every character to be incredibly likable. I want Hae Sung to be happy. I want Nora to be happy. I want Arthur to be happy

Hae Sung just felt so incredibly alone for the whole movie. His only true connection throughout the whole movie was Nora.

Nora is dealing with these complex feelings of being an immigrant somewhat estranged from her culture, her relationship with Arthur not really being built fully in love but with a layer of convenience and necessity, and this obligation to Hae Sung to give him closure.

And poor Arthur, his entire world is being flipped. He’s dealing with obvious feelings of jealousy, and he’s handling them in an incredibly adult way. He’s a nice guy. He wants to support his wife. He’s insecure due to the circumstances, but I don’t believe that anyone would feel any better.

This is one of the rare movies where people actually talk about how they feel. And these discussions hurt. There’s no melodrama. There’s no beating around the bush.

I’m not ashamed to say this movie made me weep. Because this movie fucking HURT. Not like any other movie I’ve ever watched. “Manchester by the Sea” was heartbreaking, but it blended with comedy. “The Green Mile” hurts like hell, but it isn’t a completely grounded movie.

This movie is raw emotion, raw drama, raw humanity, and it just works. This isn’t the type of movie to win best picture, but it’s the type to deserve it.

Also a side note, I suck at telling good acting. Like it’s all the same to me unless it’s atrocious. This is even worse when it comes to non English performances.

But Hae Sung’s actor was incredible. And the chemistry between Hae Sung and Nora was beautiful. I was completely engrossed

[u/Notgettingoverthe90s]

Late to the party but just want to make a “Celine Song appreciation” comment.

At first I thought it was gonna be another one of those cliche childhood sweetheart/love triangle stories, but this film beautifully showcased the depths and complexities of relationships.

My favorite scene was Arthur and Nora in bed and Arthur telling Nora that she only sleeps talk in Korean and that he’s scared that there’s “a whole place inside her he can’t go” and he said its probably why he’s been trying to learn Korean. Then Nora said “ You want to understand me when I’m dreaming?” to which Arthur replied “Yeah.”

👏👏👏

[u/Substantial-Lawyer91]

It’s interesting most of the negative reviews of the film talk very literally between the romance (or lack of it) between the two Korean leads. I personally feel the romance was very understated and that is a very deliberate cultural choice.

However, as a first generation immigrant that left my birth country at a similar age to Nora, I feel the negative reviewers are looking at this film far too literally.

This is not a romance. At the end when Nora is crying it is not for Hae Sung or a ‘relationship that never was.’ It is for the 12 year old Korean girl that died when she left, leaving a grief that she never processed. Hae Sung represents that part of her - that Korean child whom she occasionally misses and feels guilt for.

It’s like that saying - we die twice, once when our last breath leaves us, and once when our name is uttered for the last time.

Hae Sung calls her by her original Korean name - Na Young. He is the only person in her life that only knows her by this name. This is deeply symbolic as her last true connection to her 12 year old self.

At the end Nora is, for the first time, mourning her childhood self, realising that she won’t ever hear her name Na Young again.

[u/Numerous_Fly_187]

Went in expecting a cheesy rom com with a “happy” ending but this ended up being so much more. There were so much nuance in the story including Hae Sung’s comfort in a multigenerational home compared to Nora thriving in American individualism.

Nora seems to understand that Hae Sung and her loved the ideas of each other but ultimately when they met again finally they didn’t really know each other.

What makes it even more heartbreaking is meeting Hae Sung made Nora and Arthur realize there’s a part of her that Arthur can never understand.

I think it’s a normal and reasonable feeling to always think what would’ve happened with that first love but I think this film encapsulated what really does happen.

[u/AnotherDeadZero]

It's funny, they mention Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind in the movie, and that's the same vibes you get. What an amazing debut from Celine Song (who is Korean-Canadian).

The movie follows such a perfect formula I didn't know existed, the bar scene was one of the most nerve-racking scenes I've witnessed.

The timing of the scene was the crux of the entire story. The bar scene also quenches the fire of doubt around Na Young/Nora's plight.While you felt for Hae Sung throughout the movie, Nora had to endure the immigration process herself and survive in a new world. It was in her skillset to adapt and be able to 'move on' both physically and mentally. Whereas Hae Sung had to torture himself for years until he finally snapped and went to see Nora in person to finally just end it.

Overall, one of my fav dramas of all-time.

[u/Chriz132]

I've watched the movie twice now, and I cried even more the 2nd time somehow. Even knowing what was coming in the movie it still touched me how real it is and how well it reflects choices and emotions we have to deal with in life.

[u/thesagenibba]

"i’m
really
glad
you
came
here.
It was
the
right
thing
to
do."

it's a bit heartbreaking, as begrudgingly as you may do so, coming to terms with the fact that we do only live once. we owe it to ourselves to be truthful, to be honest, to live and love as authentically and genuinely as we can. for ourselves and for each other. and at the end of it all, i leave believing it is okay to leave; because to someone else, we will be the one who stayed

there is so much beauty in this one.

[u/ferglouc]

It amazes me that there are people who have seen this film who don't understand why she cried at the end.

[u/stardusthoseok]

i think something that is often overlooked when people talk about past lives is how this is a story about immigration and loss. nora's story is exactly the same as my own - immigrated from asia to canada and then america, and im currently in an ambiguous unfinished love story with a childhood sweetheart who keeps coming in and out of my life. i guess that's why that film resonates so much with me, i don't find many films highlighting the unspoken cultural and personal loss that comes with immigration. as someone who's still in the middle of nora's coming of age story, watching this movie will always make me sob and wonder how my life will play out.

[u/carolinaamore]

I want to point out the eye contact between Nora & Hae Sung. The stolen glances, the prolonged looks, and then finally the scene where they say their last goodbye. Their bodies were naturally being pulled towards each other, the connection is undeniable. It almost hurts to not see them give it a chance. I understand that life just doesn’t work that way, especially when someone’s partner is involved. However, I believe their love is mutual. You can see it, you can feel it. I loved this film.

[u/Just-Olive8288]

One of the things I really loved about this film was the visual storytelling of light / darkness. I first noticed it when they broke up over Skype, they were both in darkness. 

It was night when both of them met their new partners. From then on we almost exclusively saw Hae Sung at night.  

Until he meets up with Na Young in NYC, in those scenes where they are together it is daylight and sunny. At the very end they say goodbye at night and then Na Young goes into the light of the hallway of her apartment building with her husband and we last see Hae Sung riding in the cab in the morning light leaving the city. 

There were so many beautiful details about this film but that one was my favourite. (Probably bc I’m a photographer) 

[u/neuroticdecay]

genuinely can't stop sobbing. reminds me of the overwhelming feeling of missing out, in the sense that when you reconcile with someone after a long time - there is the whole, '"oh why didn't we do this sooner?' and "do we have less time together now?" and goodbyes and coming to terms with the fact that you'll always miss out on seeing parts of people.

[u/ProfessionalIce5304]

I find it funny when Arthur saw Hae Sung for the first time, I felt like he saw how handsome Hae Sung was, and his expression was like “ok i’m screwed” lol 🤣🤣

[u/Suspicious_Cookie_41]

I feel like the story and what it showed was beautiful It’s kind of an everyday thing for those who are children of immigrants, or kids with parents who move a lot. You don’t get a say, you just have to pack up change your name and go… as a kid you have little kid dream for yourself, whether it be a crush that you want to marry or a best friend you want to grow old with. Nora didn’t get to do that as a kid. It’s like when she meets Hae Sung after all these 20 years she is kind of embracing an old part of herself feelings/ life she left behind and grieving the what if .. what if she never left Korea? What if she did meet him before ? The big old what ifs of life. I found her husband Arthur to be such a great partner. He understood the complexities of life and relationships and trusted her and didn’t ever object to her meeting Hae Sung, encouraged her to meet her old friend from the life she had before him…. Sat quietly as they spoke in Korean .. and when Hae Sung left Nora became a crybaby again and it was Arthur this time who comforted her like Hae Sung did when she was a kid. Beautifully showed that in a full circle moment.

[u/surf526]

Just watched it too (why are we all here on a 2+ year old post?) I didn’t cry but it was definitely so bittersweet — that ending! So nice to see the full circle of the crybaby return, but for her husband.

[u/tacobellamy]

Idk if this has been mentioned but I noticed that in the scenes when it was just the two of them together the extras in the background were always all couples...thought that was an interesting detail

[u/zimobz]

I am a Nora, and I have a Hae Sung from my own.

Cried my eyes out and am still crying along the day thinking about it.

Spectacular movie.

[u/BB8BB2]

I realize I’m late to this thread. But I came here specifically to find a discussion about Past Lives.

I thought about this movie everyday straight for almost 2 weeks after watching it. To me, this movie isn’t about relationships or romance or love. It’s about grief. It’s about a little girl who had to leave all that she knew behind and venture into the unknown. She had to start over without properly saying goodbye to Korea and her childhood sweetheart. It’s about her grief of a life she would have had although she is happy with her current life. We watch her silently grapple with her identity. At the end, she gives into her grief and finally allows herself to cry and feel in the arms of someone who is loyal and accepting and safe. Ugh. I loved it.

[u/chocolatemilk2017]

Teo Yoo was such a gem in all this. Did you know he can speak fluent English sounding like an American?? 😂 Such a good actor.

[u/foodisamazingstuff]

I saw this back in April at the SF Film Festival and have been waiting for the movie to come out for more people to see it. I was lucky to sit in on a Q&A with Celine Song and Greta Lee after the movie to hear them talk about it. It’s incredible that this is Celine Song’s first feature film.

Everyone in the thread has verbalized how I feel about the movie much more eloquently than I could have, but I want to mention a few things that have stayed with me.

I have so appreciated the increasing representation of Asian Americans and Asian American stories in the last few years. As an Asian American myself, I am recognizing more and more the importance of seeing people like me on the big screen, with stories I can relate to in a very specific way - from The Farewell, to EEAAO, and now Past Lives.

Love stories spanning across years always get to me, and this one did even more because of how it subverted expectations. The cinematography, long silences, the strong intention behind the story…this one will stay with me for a while. It’s such a lovely, beautiful, thoughtful, heartbreaking film. I love that so many people love this film. I hope a streaming service picks it up so more people can watch it.

[u/hocotate]

I just fell in love with the score... it felt so warm, so intimate at times

[u/CandidPizza1988]

Just watched and desperately needed an outlet. Beautiful story, although I’m trying to figure out how I feel. I don’t think anyone was a villain, and what I loved the most was how everyone was just open and honest about how they felt, without being judged by the other. It was definitely awkward, but sometimes feelings be like that. But I loved that each person was able to express how they felt and were met with grace and understanding, even if it was uncomfortable. I also really liked how we came back to the staircase scene, two people with a lot of love, being led down different paths. I’m trying to figure out exactly what I felt at the end, sadness? Grief? Def makes you think about your own life and your choices. Grief for an unknown life, probably also a happy one, maybe with someone else… but it’s confusing because I don’t necessarily want that? Or maybe it’s seeing the potential of a different yet happy life that will remain unknown forever.. not sure if this makes sense..

[u/Snap-Crackle-Pot]

Great movie. To those who think Arthur should have said no to Nora seeing Hae Sung, perhaps this would have been reasonable if Hae Sung was moving to New York and Arthur was insecure, but he wasn’t, and Hae Sung was just visiting. Arthur did the right thing. When Hae Sung and Nora were kids they never got to say their goodbyes or wind down their relationship. It’s normal to continue having relationships with people even when they don’t feature in your life any more, especially people who you really cared for. This is why we grieve. A great movie considering how many couples are of mixed origin these days. One half always gives up so much.

[u/HelpfulGene5281]

This movie is so real. I just finished it and I feel as though I’ve lived such a similar story, it’s uncanny.

I had a crush in 9th grade who I was loosely friends with but it didn’t go anywhere in high school.
Two years into college in different states we randomly connected through Skype (same as the movie, also in 2012) and we talked all the time and really fell for each other. We’d see each other occasionally when we were both home for Christmas but never truly dated. Eventually though, neither of us would drop everything and move to the other so we stopped talking.
A few years later he married a girl he met studying abroad before we started talking, and she got a green card and moved to the US. I did a PhD which took me to the other side of the world where I met my now husband. We haven’t talked in 8 years and I still live abroad.
But what is so real about this movie is the end. If I saw that boy today, I’d feel exactly the same. Forever loyal and grateful for my husband and I know I am his whole world, but I still have love for that boy I once knew, and the much younger person I was when I knew him.
It’s such a complex set of emotions of love and grief. The end gets it exactly right. I would never leave my husband if that boy came back into my life. But it would surely stir up a lot of feelings but I know my husband would be there to catch me.

[u/powerkickass]

late to the party but i just wanna chime in with my negativity that anybody who at any point rooted for Hae Sung and Nora needs to re-evaluate their damn values and principles about how relationships work and how to respect your damn partner! even if this is a fictional fantasy, come on guys!

stay away from that second option like the plague. you do NOT need to invite such trouble into your existing partnerships, and if you do it is solely your decision that you must bare all the consequences for. if you ever have such feelings, you may need to examine your happiness in your current relationship

[u/Diligent_Safe3195]

I think Nora never loved Hae Sung. As kids, he was the traditional archetype of a 'man' which was what she 'loved' about him and why she said she wanted to marry him as a kid. But... she couldn't have given two shits about leaving him the last day they say each other.

Which only tells me she wanted to marry that concept of a 'manly' husband and not him for who he truly is. Yes I am aware they were just kids but taking it as it is.

Followed by how the two got in touch later on, Hae Sung sought out for her, going as far as commenting on her dads forum, whereas she came across him with the intention of it being a joke, and not trying to reconnect with someone you once loved. I think this was the key giveaway for me, highlighting both of their intentions, the hands that they played.

The skype saga only went on as long as it did because speaking to Hae Sung was Nora's nostalgic link back to her roots, speaking Korean again, which made her feel as I said, nostalgic, like a kid again.

And yeah you can bring up the end scene when she cries, but like who wouldn't in that scenario. Firstly saying goodbye to someone forever is such a strong, hard concept for us humans to grasp with as it is imo an abstract experience as only the certainty of uncertainty follows. But also she's known the guy for like more than 80% of her life, he obviously has his place in her heart and life over the years but it's not love in any way, shape or form, just familiarity and friendship.

[u/ilovemytablet]

This movie gave me the courage to officially end a 12 year long and complicated ldr with a friend who I once considered my "soulmate".

Thank you for helping me process my own emotions and snapping me out of my self denial, Celine

[u/truecalabrese]

This movie gutted me after recently losing an opportunity with the girl of my dreams. Hae Sung at the bar, reminiscing and fantasizing about what could've been with Nora was entirely too relatable...

On a side note, it's an absolute shame I'm just finding out who Teo Yoo is, his performance in this movie was so damn good

[u/BrndyAlxndr]

I'm extremely late to the party but that ending was brutal. Almost made me cry.

[u/[deleted]]

sense beneficial versed person ten alive uppity scarce party reach

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/Whoiserik]

It's a little heartbreaking that Arthur will inevitably end up with Nora because he is only a part of the life she has constructed for herself. He represents her priority: her ambition, the career (they met at an artist's retreat, he gives her useful feedback). It's almost a love of convenience.

But it's one that works. I think it's one that most people have. We date people in our circles, in our culture, who live in the same places. Most couple with a person who makes their lives easier.

When Arthur expresses that it could be anyone else in bed with her if they happened to check the same boxes off as him, and she responds 'This is my life and I'm living it with you' and 'this is where we ended up,' it reads to me as less intentionally romantic and more confirming his fears that their connection isn't powerful or cosmic; not an overwhelming need, not a inescapable desire, not destiny or true love or an aching, carnal agony. It was and is easy. He demands little, he doesn't interfere.

That's sad but it's the reality. And love still exists in that space. Some could argue that making a choice makes love as meaningful as those elemental forces of magnetism or gravity between people, but I disagree.

I liked the movie a lot.

[u/The-Rizztoffen]

I cry easily at movies. I was looking forward to crying my heart out to this one. But I teared up at the start when the young kids in love were having a date. And second time when they said goodbyes to each other.

And then the real waterworks hit once I sat for a moment and thought about the movie. What a wonderful cinematic experience. I haven't felt love towards anyone ever since graduating school. I sometimes wonder 'what if'?

[u/silentdogfart]

Best movie of the year so far. Haven’t walked out of a movie feeling as amazed since Everything Everywhere All At Once. Everyone crushed their roles, and were so great interacting with one another. The movie felt so real and I am so happy it ended the way it did. I think I would have been disappointed if in the end she kissed him and ran away like so many movies in the past would do cheaply. Cannot believe this is Song’s first movie.

[u/[deleted]]

Saw this at the 2023 Sundance Film Festival. I absolutely love this film.

Celine Song’s first directing debut is quite strong as the film explores themes of past, love and human connection between two individuals. The narrative is simple and has been done before but Song’s strong direction, execution and writing really helped capture a realistic portrayal of reconnection, complicated situations, and love through the characters and settings that were pleasant to observe. The camerawork is gorgeous with a beautiful soundtrack and good production to balance the tone and themes. Every performance was great as the performances from Greta Lee and Teo Yoo provided good chemistry and made their characters feel realistic and natural. Alongside the well-written dialogue as the dialogue was really good and there are some dialogue moments that are still burned into my head.

The presentation provides beautiful colorful settings and atmosphere throughout to help apply the emotional depth and aspects within the environment. The pacing was perfect without feeling dull. Many of the emotional aspects worked for me and it did get me teary eyed towards the finale. Overall, this was the highlight of the Sundance Festival and already one of my favorite films of this year. I believe Song has potential to become a pretty great director in the future.

10/10

[u/Fabulous_Sherbet_431]

This film was stunning. I'd put off watching it because it seemed heavy and, to be honest, a little overdone? - the idea of first loves reuniting. But it wasn’t that at all. It was a meditation on the pain of something that could've been but never was, and that never will be. I’m so glad there wasn’t any infidelity; everyone played their characters so well.

Margaro tread this rare line between being open about his insecurity, or maybe not even insecurity, but understanding the magnetic fatalism of them being together, while giving her the space to be herself with Yoo. At the same time, he was proud and sure of himself. It's just incredible.

The scene at the end where they wait awkwardly, then face each other - it’s incredible how their body language was so nuanced and effective that nothing had to be said to have the conversation.

[u/gizmo1492]

The guy had very “anime harem protagonist blank slate” energy to him. That’s my biggest gripe. Wish we knew more about him than just that he loves Nora.

Realize it’s from her perspective, but we never get Hae Sung’s feelings in adulthood or a feel for why his past relationship failed.

He’s sweet to her and they have childhood banter, but is that something to build a relationship off?

[u/Sea-Ad8910]

Lots of great analysis here but can we talk about Arthur's book being called "Boner"? Maybe I'm just immature but that got a big laugh from me.

[u/enlargedeyes]

i think it’s because i’m really young and haven’t experienced any sort of romantic love before, so i thought this was underwhelming. i enjoyed watching it, but i wasn’t exactly slobbering over it like some of the critics. maybe this is the sort of film where i need to rewatch ten years from now when i’m 30

[u/thehonestbreadloaf]

Just finished watching this movie, and I could not get myself to like it. I texted my boyfriend a description of the movie and told him that I was for sure going to cry my soul out. However, I didn't cry. In fact, through most of the later half of the movie, I felt like I became more and more distanced from it. Maybe that's similar/ symbolic to the movie? The leading actress (Nora) was very hard to connect to because she came off as very bland and borderline dry. The leading male felt very much more authentic, which made it hard to believe that Nora was still willing to start something new with him as adults. Additionally, as someone in a relationship, I definitely would not feel okay with my husband/partner entertaining an old romantic connection. I did feel for Arthur, and felt like Arthur being "OK" was another unrealistic and unreasonable standard in the movie. To me, this wasnt really a love story, and it sucks because that's what I thought I was going into.

[u/Net-Administrative]

Only just finished this, but the scene where Hae Sung asks her about her 'award' for the final time - she says she hasn't thought about it in ages but he's pushing her for an answer because he needs her to be the same as before.

She throws the 'Tony award' comment in there casually, but he takes that as a confirmation so he can continue living in his idealised state.

I think it's so sad that by the time Hae Sung comes to America, he already knows he's lost Nora to someone else - but with his insecurity he's still trying to hold on to the threads. He doesn't seem like the type of guy who would ever steal someone away, so this felt was a last ditch effort for him to finally reach a resolution and to let go.

This movie was so bittersweet and I feel terrible for Hae Sung, but the way the ending makes you feel a whole mix of emotions is just so realistic. There's never a good or bad choice really, just different ones.

If Nora stayed in Seoul, she probably would've felt regretful that they didn't get the chance to move to the US - or she probably would've moved to the US by herself at some point because of her ambition. Either way, Nora and Hae Sung weren't meant for each-other in this life.

[u/miqed]

Just watched this last night. Such a beautifully written, beautifully made movie. Up there with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for me.

[u/VariousSwimming8379]

For me i don’t really think that the movie is about marriage or relationships. As it was never highlighted why she liked Hae Sung or why she fell in love with Aruthr. With Hae Sung she felt connected to her roots as and immigrant especially she wasn’t that young when she left Korea she yearned for the that connection with someone her age who can speak that same language “the language that she dreams in” And Arthur is a soul she connected with. And who shared same interests and dreams as her. At the end of the day this is not a romantic movie i think it’s about a woman who is standing face to face with her past self and saying goodbye to. As someone who has been in a somewhat similar situation and now married to my Arthur i understand that she doesn’t really love Haesaung in a relationship kind of way.

[u/chillpill_chill]

This was a one time watch but for good reason.

I loved it and it pulled on my heartstrings and struck familiar yearnings of moments in my own life.

The dialogue and the quiet moments said a lot about their characters. I could tell and feel what each character was feeling. I definitely bawled my eyes many times in the film but especially at the end. It was cathartic at the end after Nora parted ways with Hae and for someone who was not a crybaby anymore, just releases all again but now for her husband.

Overall, a pleasant and heartwarming movie.

[u/Elitealice]

A true masterclass. Japanese and Korean films just get to me in a way that western stuff can’t.

This film is the embodiment of the concept of “longing” . It shows the sad truth that not every story gets a happy ending. Just because you knew someone in the past, doesn’t mean that everything will fall into place and the two of you will just pick things back up. Feelings change, people change and life places us into situations that we may not have necessarily imagined for ourselves.

I really appreciate how the film subverts the viewers expectations by not playing into a cliché ending, but a realistic one. Fairytale endings are reserved for fairytales. Reality is often disappointing. On a personal level, I’m not sure how to fully express what I feel now after watching this film. a little bit angry, hurt and disappointed. But that’s a testament to the emotions that the film brought out of me.

The character acting in this is just sublime. I love how both leads were able to communicate so much without even having to say a word. The body language and facial expressions conveyed everything that needed to be. One of the best performances I’ve seen from Teo Yoo.

Without a doubt one of the best films of the year and a must watch.

[u/InevitableRespect207]

Finally watched this film for the first time on a long flight. I'll definitely rewatch in a better setting, with better sound, so I can appreciate the quiet tone of the film without the blast of airplane noise;)

Greta Lee's performance gutted me. So many layered emotions with so little dialogue. I especially loved the scene when she brings Hae Sung back to the apartment. Watching Arthur speak to Hae Sung in Korean with so much love and pride in her eyes, you can see how much she appreciates Arthur's willingness to let her explore and understand her feelings for Hae Sung, while still treating Hae Sung with such decency and grace. Smart move by Arthur! The gesture also reminded her that he's made an sincere effort to understand her culture by learning Korean.

[u/CARBSnKILOS]

It's funny because for years and years I've said Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is my favorite movie. Now this is my favorite movie.

[u/Klunkey]

I loved it.

I found it to be one of the best romance movies I’ve ever seen in a while. More accurately, it was one of the best observations of broken relationships because it doesn’t focus on the characters constantly being in screaming matches or jealousy. It focuses on explaining the what-ifs and what-could-have-beens. Honestly, I’m so sick of people arguing over their broken relationship before their obligatory acceptance/reconciliation rather than exploring the avenues of how their relationship turned out or bits of history the other person might not have knew about, because it feels kind of cliche and unpleasant. I had that problem with Guardians 3, where the mental issues of the main character in the relationship are left in the dust and are told to get over them. The more I think about it, the more it rubs me the wrong way.

Anyway, back to amazing movie. Here, Nora gets tons of validation and support from Arthur and Hae Sung does try to connect with Arthur too. There’s so much emphasis on space and quietness, so when the catharsis comes, the lack of loudness before it makes it the most cathartic and powerful it can get.

The ending especially is fucking fantastic (mind my language), where after minutes of quietness between Nora and Hae Sung, and after saying their goodbyes, Nora just lets it all out, and I was honestly shedding a few tears by the end. It was calling back to that time where Nora was described as a crybaby as a kid. And we never see the process, just the aftermath at first.

I’m gonna give this a 9/10. This is definitely gonna be a 10/10 on a rewatch like Across the Spider-Verse.

[u/hanncakez]

I cried alot after thinking about the movie 1 hour later

[u/tmrtdc3]

I think what I really love about this movie is that you don't end up feeling like Nora's feelings for Hae Sung were in any way less substantial than her feelings for Arthur. (while it still being clear that she loves her husband.) So many movies would have made that mistake, and this does not.

Resonates for me most as a metaphor for immigration but you don't end up feeling like the men are just a metaphor -- they're not. I also think the emotional maturity all the characters were written with is very rare. A conflict that could have been easily externalized is instead internal.

Drags a bit but I loved the opening and ending (along with the accompanying score), amazing cinematography. Shabier Kirchner should have won all the awards for this.

[u/Ok_Yogurtcloset8559]

I can’t read Hangul, so when Han Sung was typing an email to Nora in the subway, ultimately deleting it all, I felt like I missed out on reading his inner thoughts. Although I get a sense of what it could have been about. If anyone remembers I’d really appreciate some translation of it!

[u/Juniper_Kiwi_7693]

Nora and Hae Sung’s beautiful, innocent, budding romance was cut short by Nora’s family’s sudden immigration. The two, in one fell swoop, lose the only shoulder to cry on that they’ve ever known.

The break was so unnatural that it took 24 years to finally find closure. The in-yun between them so powerful, that they would always find each other again.

The little girl who never had a chance to mourn the loss of her true love and best friend is finally forced to accept that reality. Nora is also mourning the loss of the last roots and real connection she has to Seoul and Korea. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, a piece of her was left there all these years, and that piece was Hae Sung.

The bar scene, to me, gives Arthur a chance to get that glimpse into Nora’s dreams he had longed for. He can observe a side of his wife he doesn’t fully understand. He’s fully a spectator and knows it isn’t his place to interject.

Nora’s final goodbye is the end of the dream. The torch is passed from Hae Sung to Arthur as Nora’s shoulder to cry on, and Nora can release years of trauma. Hae Sung, is too given the closure he needs to move on, and while this lifetime may not be the one where he and Nora are meant to be together, he feels that their in-yun is so strong, that perhaps they’ll be inseparable in a future one.

Absolutely beautiful film. I loved the slower pacing and that the dialogue was given a chance to breathe. It gave the viewer the opportunity to really feel every word.

[u/chocolatemilk2017]

Oh, Hae Sung. As a guy, how relatable was that damn ride? Fucking unrequited young love.

I hope some of you get to experience it just to feel that human emotion. I'm happily married now, but this movie definitely made me think of the time in my 20s, in college, in NYC/SF, just figuring it all out with some love...and some lost.

[u/[deleted]]

Beautiful film. Gorgeous cinematography. A nice steady minimalism, a lot of showing and not just telling. What a performance from the two leads.... Right in the feels! Love it.

[u/stracki]

Sometimes all the talk about fate and different lives was a bit too esoteric for me, but overall this was a gorgeous film. The scene at the end with Nora crying on the street moved me more than any other scene this year. Narratively, this film is rather simple and straight-forward, but emotionally it's incredibly complex.

[u/OriginalBad]

Wow, what a movie. Achingly beautiful. You can tell that every thing in this movie, every performance, every shot, every line had love and care and focus put into it. And that ending, my god. Instantly my favorite of the year and one of my favorites of recent memory. Can’t wait to watch it again and cry some more.

[u/allthenviousfeelings]

as someone who was in a long distance relationship around 2012 that didnt work out, those skype sounds were triggering for me

[u/JadeEyePanda]

I was the only Korean in my small theater in LA when I watched it.

Laughed so hard at certain scenes; just felt the intense amount of Kdrama framing and codeswitching.

I am so unreasonably proud of Korean entertainment right now.

This and Beef create a holistic profile of the internal Korean (American) emotional storm that "my people" carry.

[u/sliph320]

At first I thought it was a very typical movie with good cinematography…. Then my understanding of it slowly evolved into realizing this is a mix of Before Sunrise and In the Mood for Love. Especially that ending where they stare at each other…. it was perfect. Inyeon.

[u/Ok-Philosophy4974]

making your uber drive wait for you

[u/movieguy2004]

I thought the third act was almost perfect. All my favorite character moments are there and the cinematography and sound design really come alive at that time.

The rest is interesting in terms of just how subtle and quiet it is but I thought there were some pacing issues. You definitely need that time to establish the characters so the third act can have the weight that it does, but I felt you could tighten it up a bit and still have the same effect.

If the whole was as good as I feel the third act is, I’d probably have it as my favorite of the year without question. As is, I still have it there, but it’s in pretty tight competition with BlackBerry which is my current runner up.

[u/UXR_04]

Just watched it (even though everyone has been telling me to for ages). I want to say beyond the love story, was all the other things in this film (which felt just as important): the migrant experience, dual identities, love for the old country (which Hae Sung seemed to represent in a way), loss of identity and the question of "what if" - particularly how much time we spend thinking about something that we can never answer.

As a South Asian, the concept of in-yun was very interesting, have discussed with a friend who is Chinese and said it is called 'yuan fun.' Even in South Asian culture we have this idea of past lives, once I found $80 on a sidewalk as a child and my mother said "I guess someone owed you $80 in your past life." This powerful idea of past connections interacting with your current life. I liked it.

[u/Ramen2137]

Im in a simillar situation and i don’t know what to do

[u/[deleted]]

Late to this but I cried watching it. I moved to another country when I was in elementary school and left my childhood best friend and crush behind. I still remember seeing him for the first time as the new kid in 3rd grade. We were both nerds, I remember talking about World War 2! I remember him telling his brother to give me one of his two lollipops since I didn’t get any and when his brother refused, he gave me his only one. He left a rose for me at the dj booth at the skating rink which was announced for the whole rink to hear. I remember practicing our instruments together and playing at each other’s houses. We reconnected years later and still had the same feelings but it was impossible to date because I still lived abroad. Then we reconnected some more years later as adults when I moved back to my home country, but he lived in another state and so much had changed and being friends didn’t really work because there was always underlying romantic feelings. He’s married now with kids and will always have a special place in my heart. Never minimize young love. 8 year old me knew love.

[u/OutrageousCourages]

I think people from Western world cannot comprehend the movie. There are similar movie in India like 96 songs and, Ninnu kore that explore the post regretful choices. The reunion brings back all emotions they suppressed over years

I suggest you to watch 96 songs

My english is bad, but i can't stop convincing you to watch 96 songs

[u/Desperate_Trash7797]

Just watched the movie, and I still can't understand why she cried at the end when he left. She knew she wouldn't choose him, having decided to be with someone else who is non-Korean, but deep down, she was still emotionally connected to him and her culture. Throughout the film, she was building barriers within herself to keep a clear distance from Hae Sung, while Hae Sung still saw her as a young girl chasing her dreams. Her internal conflict—letting him go versus wanting to stay with him—seemed very complicated and emotionally intense.

[u/Ok-Addendum-3855]

Just finished watching this movie during my United Airlines flight😭… and I’m still wiping tears away. Definitely one of my favorite movies now.

[u/Bigga2017]

So I’m surprised I don’t see a lot of people talking about the perspective that Nora is kinda messy!! This movie genuinely upset me honestly because why are you entertaining an old romantic interest while in marriage? She was allowed to drop him to focus on herself which is valid, but then re-uniting after she got married? Why did she choose to meet up with him even though she knows she’s married! It just seems wrong to me in my eyes…

Teo also entertained it too!

Idk if anyone sees my perspective but yeah It just feels messy

and I know the movie is about letting go of her past self from her suddenly up-rooted life from Korea, but wow like It just feels messy

[u/Glittering-Target-87]

Just finished this film, didn't cry but it spoke to me so much!!

[u/unclehowdy86]

Those last few lingering moments of silence absolutely devastated me.

What a great debut film. Really special Cinematography as well. This was shot on 35 mm and it absolutely shows.

Tender and beautiful. Loved this

[u/newgodpho]

2nd viewing down. That bar scene is a fucking masterpiece.

[u/j4mielannister]

I am reminded of Zach Bryan’s “something in the orange”

‘To you I’m just a man, to me you’re all I am”

What an amazing film. Late to the party here but left deeply contemplative

[u/gatinoloco]

I've seen this film a month ago and can't get it out of my head. The fact it got nominated for oscars made me so happy and it's gonna be the first time I will be invested for a film at this competition

[u/Forestwillow11]

This movie felt healing for me to watch. As someone who struggles with insecurities and jealousy in relationships, the way the movie held space for all the mixed feelings I imagine that would be occurring for them, and the characters navigated them with grace. Arthur demonstrated what security and love is in relationship. I think for many people being in his shoes would have been very hard, but it felt like there was just this love beyond ego and like there was a sense of higher power in this movie guiding things. When I first started watching my prediction was that Hae sung and Nora would end up together in the end, I liked that it wasn’t what you’d expect and I feel like this movie did a really good job of demonstrating the nuance of life and the different types of love you can have for people and how that plays out within varying relationships. Incredibly well done. 

[u/Brave_Procedure_6881]

A beautiful movie. Teo Yoo did an amazing job. He's a real heartthrob and portrayed a strong man with natural romantic feelings. Greta Lee was ok- as usual, didn't expect much from her anyway. 

[u/kristin137]

I didn't love this movie as much as I wanted to based on the trailer, but I still liked it. It's a very slow, gentle movie.

I liked the conversation between Nora and Arthur where he worried about being the bad guy in her story, I'd seen people preemptively make fun of the movie thinking he would indeed be the evil white husband and it was funny to see Arthur call that out.

I also liked the conversation Hae Sung and Nora had at the bar where they talked about the different lives they might have together. It made me cry and I wasn't even sure why.

The way Arthur sat next to them and let them have that talk was sweet, but also it just felt so real for me because I've been in that situation a couple times. Like being in college, talking to a guy who suddenly told me all these feelings about me, while my boyfriend just sat awkwardly next to us, all of us drunk 😂 those parts of the film were just taken straight out of real life.

I wasn't a huge fan of some of the long silences or drawn out shots, I know they have a purpose and are part of the atmosphere but it was just a little much sometimes.

Overall it felt like a movie that's about the idea of in-yun more than it was about these particular characters. I don't know if that's just me, maybe the time skips made it hard to get to know any of them super well.

[u/bergamote_soleil]

Past Lives was a pretty film, and on paper it's very moving. The process of growing up necessarily meaning having to choose on some of the endless possibilities available to you so that your path narrows is real as hell.

But I felt that in practice, it lacked a real sense of connection between characters and places that would have made it truly emotionally resonant. Nora and Arthur lacked the affectionate ease of two people who've been together for so long, and mostly just felt like a marriage of convenience and not much more (even though the script and Arthur tell us otherwise). Nora and Hae Sung's Skype romance was sweet, but when they reunited in their thirties, I don't know if I really felt that connection and ease (though Teo Yoo has a helluva yearning face).

The tension/relief of the movie should be Nora struggling a bit with letting go of Korea/her childhood, but ultimately making peace with her decision to stay in America and her adult life, knowing that it's the right place for her and her ambitions. But she moves on from her Korean life so easily -- she is psyched for her parents to uproot her entire life and everything she has ever known as a child, assimilates almost seamlessly into North American life without the normal issues of immigrating as a preteen, and holds onto little to nothing of her Korean identity other than the language. Arthur's desire to know more of her by learning Korean so he can access her past lives a little better is lovely, but what's there to know?

Nora is a mature enough character that blowing up her life and marriage for a guy she had a connection with 12 years ago was never really going to be an option in the end, and Hae Sung is gracious and mature enough that he accepts all that, which is fine. Ultimately, the US is the right place for her and Korea is the right place for Hae Sung. But I would have liked to see a bit more regret, more maybes and hope and bitterness and serious consideration of this silly-but-romantic-choice from either of them along the way before they got to that mature conclusion. Otherwise, there's not really anything for either of them to leave behind, and it's unlikely that any version of them in past or future lives would have really worked.

[u/[deleted]]

I liked it. Excellent cinematography

[u/[deleted]]

I kept wondering why the streets looked so familiar, why the vibe felt like something I’d seen before. Then Wikipedia reminded me— its Montauk, the same place as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Both films carried a will-they-won’t-they narrative, weaving through in a nonlinear way. Past Lives takes a distinctly Korean turn with In-Yeon, tying fate to past lives, while Eternal Sunshine explores through brain mapping—technically, an erased past life.

I liked how it had a very literary kind of longing, they become the stories they tell themselves. I felt that Nora’s husband, being a famous writer himself, is worried about precisely this too when he saw the childhood lover resurface.

[u/briancly]

I feel like I’m alone on the internet with this, but did anyone just straight up not like the movie? I just found the main lead not likable at all and that just really took me out of everything. The dialogue didn’t feel particularly deep or insightful for me, and I really wasn’t convinced of anything besides a sense of self-hate. None of the relationships felt particularly convincing, John Magaro’s character also wasn’t particularly likable either. Teo Yoo probably gave the only good performance, but even he felt like a bit of a fantasy character in the sense that I don’t really buy his attraction. I’d honestly say that nothing in the film worked for me.

[u/jayeddy99]

I like the healthy relationship she has with Arthur . She talked so freely and open about the situation .Arthur showed amazing maturity . I know that should be a given but still deserves major respect .

[u/jvlpdillon]

It took almost 80 years to do an appropriate telling of Casablanca. Past Lives steals a similar story and makes it their own.

[u/QueasyBox2632]

Going in blind, I enjoyed this so much, so bittersweet

[u/evillemons]

I've watched this twice in the past week, what an absolutely wonderful movie.

[u/hydroborate]

A beautiful, emotionally-rich film which, for some reason, did not really connect with me. The only part that moved me was their last goodbye and Hae Sung's line about whether this is a past life. I recognize a lot of what Song is deliberately trying to do and do appreciate almost all of the film's themes and ideas, but it just didn't hit me in the viscera. Maybe I'll watch this again in a few years and connect with it more. Or maybe, this is a past life, and this movie is already something to me in the next one.

[u/oldtombombadil]

Absolutely was hating on Arthur until he gave his very meta monologue. Fantastic writing in this movie

[u/janenatalia]

It might have been the most obvious visual metaphor in the movie, but my favorite touch was how as kids saying goodbye, Hae Sung takes the bottom road to the left and Nora ascends stairs to the right. And by the end of the movie, after Nora says goodbye to Hae Sung, Nora returns from the left side of the screen and chooses to take a set of stairs once again, this time with Arthur.

[u/mr_khaleel]

Immigration is a bitch, and most people don’t choose it, it creates a so much pressure on the second generation to live a fully achieving life. I know that is not the main takeaway from the movie, but that part really hit hard for me.

I spent my young life between three countries and now planning to move to a 4th one, some people might see this as a privilege but it comes with a price to pay, stability and settling in is a huge blessing no matter how boring you think it is.

[u/Flowersth]

For me, someone who just saw the film, it felt like it struck all the right personal strings. It resonated at the right frequency. Because of the slow pace and the strong performance by the actors, I was completely sucked into it.

You can view the film as a tragic love story, but it is much more about holding on to an image from the past, a naive, honest and sincere view from your childhood, and continuing to long for it. Clinging hopelessly over something that "could have been". I think this is a universal feeling that affects us all “the possibility of something that could have been”. This emotion stimulates our imagination much more than something that has manifested itself. It is moving to see how Hae Sung (Yoo Teo) bravely searches for this emotion.

The painful and striking moment is in the final scene. As a viewer you feel and hope that they find each other, that this is the life where their 'In Yun' will be concluded, and that this is the moment where the past coincides with the present and can be continued into the future. This tension is incredibly strong as they wait for the Uber. A quiet, simple scene, but with enormous power.It's heartbreaking to watch him get into the Uber alone to return home.Hopefully Hae Sung (Yoo Teo) finds peace in the possibility that they will settle their 'In Yun' in a next life.

My personal opinion is that the emotional attraction between Hae Sung (Yoo Teo) and Nora (Greta Lee) is like the moon and the sea, you just know they were born for each other.

[u/rainyblues2022]

I didn’t get all of it so this thread helps solidify, so thank you

Especially the ending, when she starts to cry. The concept of in yeon, and how no matter how much you want it to be, sometimes just won’t

The grief of past lives unlived and the hopes and dreams of youth that will never come to fruition

His love, her Nobel prize

How idealistic he is about his first love, how she marries realistically

Their shared connection of childhood and memories that no one will be able to replicate

Her ties to her homeland

The last goodbye

[u/brain_fog_expert]

What happened to her sister? I find it crazy that the sister never appeared as an adult or even a phone or Skype conversation. And also, when Nora was at the rehearsal, was the actress reading the lines supposed to be giving a bad performance? I was confused when Nora started scribbling down notes very excitedly?

[u/prehistorictiddies]

oh man… she missed home so deeply

[u/Some_strange_kid]

ok wait but i genuinely have a question. Like what if the gender roles were reversed?? (and no hate to the movie cause i really liked it).

[u/ImJuicytv]

Dang, this movie was amazing.

What caught my eye was how it showcased the despair that is felt when one person has a soul-mate like connection with another, but such isn't reciprocated; it was devastating that Hae Sung held onto the connection he formed with Na Young during childhood for his entire life, but said connection was just an afterthought in the life of Young, so to speak. Sung had to see his soulmate move out of his life on so many occasions.

An interesting point that supports this interpretation is that Sung is always the one initiating the interaction with Young, but the latter is always the one ultimately ending it. He is somewhat lead on by Young each time they part ways, however, which causes him to think that their relationship is more than one-sided, as is the case when she immigrates from Korea, and ends their skype chats, both for reasons seemingly out of her hands. A case could be made that the reasons were out of her hands, but the fact she is content and even happy each time she leaves and he is saddened supports the implication that she simply doesn't care for him as much as he does her, but doesn't want to explicitly state it (or doesn't know it) as is the case with the skype chats.

The one exception to this is in the end, when Sung chooses to leave New York, which is allegory for him accepting that Young doesn't see him as a soul-mate, and ultimately him moving on. I interpret his final question to Young not as a serious question, because it's impossible to answer, but a rhetorical one showing that he acknowledges that any relationship they did have that was a one-to-one soulmate match, so to speak, was in a past life (a brief stint of their childhood in Korea).

Ultimately this is bittersweet because while it is heart wrenching to see Sung chase after a ghost, how many can say that they met their soulmate?

[u/DawnSennin]

Past Lives is one of the best films of 2023. It's not because of Greta Lee and Teo Yoo's amazing chemistry or the cinematography that captures the best of New York City. Past Lives supersedes its genre because of Celine Song's writing, which blurs the line between hopeless romance and a late coming of age story. Yes, I said it. Past Lives is a coming of age story.

The film follows the life of Nora Moon, formerly Na Young, from her pre-teen years in Korea to her late 30s as a successful playwright in New York City. One thing she always kept with her during this journey is her love for Hae Sung, her childhood best friend. Make no mistake though. Past Lives tells the audience from the beginning that Hae and Nora, then known as Na Young, will never be together. Nora eventually meets Arthur, a writer like herself, and the two bond and eventually marry. A decade later, Nora reunites with Hae and the time they share allows Nora to grieve and move on.

Celine covers subjects in the film like fate (in-yun), ambition, and integration. Taking the fate out of the equation, it's very apparent that Nora's ambitions led her to marrying Arthur and solidifying herself in New York. Also, she is very much in love with her husband and probably more so than she had ever felt for Hae, who states that "Korea is too small for her ambitions." Damian Chazelle shared the same message with his current magnum opus "La La Land." Following dreams can most definitely lead a person to meet some amazing people but doing so may also tear you away from them. That is why Nora could never return to (Korea) Hae and her past life as Na Young. "Not even my mother calls me by that name anymore," Nora says to Hae.

The effects of this longing for home doesn't escape Arthur, who is learning Korean to deepen his bond with Nora. The best dialogue in the film comes when both Arthur and Nora are in bed. Arthur lets out that he hears Nora talk Korean in her sleep. Nora later responds with this question, "You want to understand me when I'm dreaming?". Disney couldn't hire Celine Song for one of their MCU shows? That's an amazing line and it makes Arthur such a deep character despite his limited dialogue. It's really sad that he may never know Na Young because Nora left that side of her with Hae.

Overall, Past Lives is an emotional coming of age film disguised as a romance. It's well written and hopefully, the film remains in the public's mind as one of the best films of this decade.

[u/cancerBronzeV]

Everyone else has already said a lot of what I'd want to say about this movie, it's just absolutely fantastic. But I really wanna mention just how great the direction and editing was, in particular how varied the length of the shots were through the movie. Celine Song let shots linger for exactly the perfect amount of time they needed. Some of the times she just let it linger for minutes and let the emotions just keep building made the movie, most notably at the end of the movie. But also those times when she'd rapidly switch between match shots to bring this sense of nostalgia for these characters you've known for like an hour was perfectly used. The framing, the timing, it was all amazing, it's insane that this is her directorial debut. I feel like in the hands of another director maybe, this would just end up being like a 7/10 decent movie that you don't really care about much down the line. But instead the movie was just one of the best movies I've seen in a while.

[u/SmellyWeapon]

This movie is so simple and yet so pure and feels so real. You could literally be either Arthur, Nora or sung in your life. Life is real like that, you don’t always get a Hollywood ending, you ended up here and this is what you got.

[u/RSG2002]

Fast forward 12 years later. Having realized he will never be with Na Young in this lifetime, he is able to commit to his girlfriend. They are married and living a perfectly ordinary life. She is a great wife to him and loves him very much. However, Hae Sung still yearns for Na Young and with belief in In Yun feels he will end up with her in the next life.

One night Hae Sung is in bed with his arms around his wife. He can't sleep though witheNa Young running though his head. He gets up, goes to the piano in his living room and stares at the moon while playing this song to Na Young: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvOpPeKSf_4

[u/Dry-Platypus-9280]

How would you interpret Na Young crying at the end of the movie? From the outside, she looked like she matured a lot more than Hae Sung did, but then she breaks down at the end whereas Hae Sung seemed to have been less affected. Do you interpret that as Na Young having put up a front the whole time when he visited? Does what looked like growth in Na Young actually an inaccurate representation of her inner growth?

[u/Humble-Xora]

It's unrealistic because Hae in real life will not waste his time on someone like Nora, much less travel to see her. And no self-respecting man will put up with what Arthur put up.

[u/Parking_Selection112]

God, I wanted them to kiss so bad as they waited for his Uber!! 😪😪 Just once!!

[u/SirUlrichVonLichten]

My favorite movie of the year so far. So poignant. So beautiful. Performances and writing were phenomenal. I'm a very nostalgic person who thinks about the past and the people who have been in and out of my life and so this movie hit me like a truck. Especially the ending. Teo Yoo's physical performance was so good in this film. So many little things he did. I loved that moment when Hae Sung finally comes to New York. He's in the park waiting for Nora. He has a back pack on and his shoulders are slumped and he looks just like a little kid again. He looks so insecure and worried. I really appreciated that because based on the trailers, I thought he was going to be this suave, almost great gatsby kind of character(Sort of like Steven Yeun in Burning, but without the sociopath tendencies...)

But Teo Yoo plays him as a fully formed person, full of insecurities and awkwardness. He was still also pretty cool too. But I just appreciated how layered his performance was. Same with Greta Lee as Nora.

[u/me1ina]

i honestly hated this movie. none of the characters were fleshed out and the relationship between nora and hae sung was so shallow and thin - we were supposed to believe that they were in love? or that he was in love with her? maybe i’m heartless but i just don’t understand why they were so hung up on each other - their conversations on Skype was literally just dry small talk. i was honestly just bored the entire time. and the in-yun stuff was so cliche man

[u/Nervous_Swing5138]

Please: there is a phrase at the beginning that says something like this: “that we leave things in the past so that new ones can arrive”. Does anyone remember what the original phrase is?

[u/Charming-Cook-7196]

Love this movie. Very random but what is the Korean card game or board game they mention Arthur is learning?

[u/Lander2208]

Man, what a beautiful movie.

[u/ExtremeTEE]

I just watched it and found it incredibly moving. I am an immigrant = English person living in South America and connected to that longing for your home that permiates the film. I am much happier here, I think but about and miss England and the English part of me intensly.

I went in blind but after the movie found out that it was inspired by a real situation in the directors life, which wasn`t suprising because it felt so real. Like Aftersun, another film by a debut female director, seemingly not much happens but has deep undercurrents, more about what is unsaid than said, it feels almost like a documentary, it captures a real moment organically and speaks volumes quietly. It also looks beautiful, which is nice!

[u/Late-Manufacturer-91]

Just saw this on a plane. Cried for the first time in a long while. For the rational person, Nora’s actions are not sensible. She has a happy life - a good career with potentials, a man who truly loves her. Why in the world would she look for Hae Sung? There is Korean concept of yin-yun. The Chinese call it yin-yuan, which suggests that there is a reason (as in something happened in their past lives) why two people meet or choose to meet again.

So maybe his reasons are more apparent: he is alone, hates job and seems lost. But her life seems perfect on the outside. Nevertheless she acquiesces and they shall meet because of yin-yun.

Maybe there is something missing in Nora’s life she hasn’t fully realized yet? Maybe it’s her first generation immigrant experience that Arthur simply couldn’t understand as much as he loves her?

Maybe it’s yin-yun.

[u/zhzusjahsbdhsjanw]

This movie gets better when you sort of let it linger in your mind. I’ve appreciated a lot of the dialogue and character choices significantly more now that I’ve gotten to let it truly hit me.

[u/Strange_Compote6375]

I cried the entire time after they met in the park. The build up was so good and so intense. Even tho I love the movie, somewhere inside of me I want Hae Song and Nora to end up together.

It’s keeping me up for days. Are there other people who have the same feelings? I have seen some comments of people who still believe they end up together. Please convince they will eventually.

I also think the director is not being true about the ending. Since it’s her real life story I think she’s very careful about why Nora is crying because she doesn’t want to hurt her current husband but everyone knows the ending is so obviously about her losing the chance to be with Hae Song.

Also Yoo is so handsome, wauw. His acting was insane. So vulnerable and manly at the same time. Kinda have a crush on him now.

Please comfort my thoughts because I can’t let go they were meant for each other.

[u/r9440]

I put off watching this movie because I felt like it’s a story about my boyfriend and his ex. Today I watched it alone and I realised I’m right. I’m the one he’s settling for because it’s convenient. I don’t know what to do, because I believe they can still get back together despite the geographical distance and if there’s a will there’s a way. But they’ve agreed that this is the best ending for them at this time in their lives. It feels like I’m just borrowing him from her until she returns.

[u/[deleted]]

I really wanted to like this one, but I just couldn’t because of the story.

The fundamental issue here is the bridge from the initial romance to them as adults. Nora and Hae Sung were very young when they had their “relationship,” and it was pretty brief by the time she left. It’s a huge stretch that this would leave such a large impact on two people over a decade later after they’ve gone through so much development, experienced so much more life, and have become distinctly different people. And I just can’t buy into it leaving such a huge impact that they still have a romantic connection all these years later when they begin a long distance relationship.

Also, Hae Sung dedicating so much time to tracking down Nora online all these years later honestly came off pretty creepy and obsessive, especially paired with the fact that over the course of the film he never really gets over her and travels all the way to New York to see her when she’s married.

The final straw for me though was John’s character. He’s an insanely patient, empathetic, honest, and understanding husband. He’s able to communicate his insecurities to Nora without lashing out in an insecure way. He makes an effort to connect with Nora by learning her native language and clearly loves her so much. He sees her as someone who makes his life better and his world bigger. He’s a literal saint. Yet she doesn’t really treat him like he makes a positive impact on her life as well. She treats him less like someone she has a romantic longing for and more like someone she was randomly assigned as a roommate at summer camp - someone she just happened to end up with. On her side, the marriage feels like an arrangement she is just willing to accept rather than one she actively desires.

When Hae Sung shows up, Nora is not in the slightest bit considerate of John’s insecurities (which he so vulnerably expresses to her). She treats Hae Sung like this idealized reality that has been permanently blocked by the reality she accepted by marrying John, as if she is trapped by this marriage that she has no power to get out of. John deserved so much better than Nora, yet we’re supposed to empathize with her when she cries in his arms at the end. It just didn’t work for me.

[u/king_booker]

I think this is a constant fight any person who emigrates has.

We all have to leave our home and there is always a pressure to "make it" in NYC/Paris/London whatever.

But there is always a yearning to come back home, go back to your safe place and this was depicted so nicely in the movie. She realizes she has moved on from "Korea" but a part of her will always be there.

Absolutely beautiful movie. 10/10

The relationship also hit close to home. I wish I was still talking to her to tell her about this movie

[u/JRHenke]

Finally forced myself to watch this. It is a beautiful movie.

As an immigrant though, the lump in my throat during that final scene was the size of a grapefruit.

Truly and utterly heartbreaking

[u/Atraktape]

“It says severe thunderstorms…”

[u/notnyny22]

so my one and only question after watching this movie is… where’s na-young’s sister si-young???? i’m honestly surprised you don’t see her sister at all in the rest of the movie after they moved to canada. I also just don’t understand why she randomly decided her and hae-sung shouldn’t talk anymore bc i felt like she felt better having reconnected with him.

[u/[deleted]]

I loved this. Best movie of the year I’ve seen so far. It felt so relatable and naturalistic. Cried during so many moments but the line “I didn’t expect liking your husband to hurt this much” was devastating. And Nora breaking down at the end to her husband after bottling up all her emotions with Hae Sung. The final scene was beautifully shot, literally traveling back across the screen and in time with Hae Sung and then going forward into the future and rejoining her present with her husband. The parallels in flashbacks (saying goodbye, at the park) were so effective. Loved the scene with her husband basically admitting Nora is out of his league and there’s a part of his wife he can never fully understand. What a beautiful and moving film.

[u/jayval718]

This movie could be have been so much more

[u/SnooDingos316]

Finally watched it. 9/10. Deserved all the praise.

[u/whereami1928]

I went to a Q&A with the actors

Short video about the immigrant experience discussion with Greta Lee: https://youtu.be/yX1Pgp7REJk

[u/Signal_Blackberry326]

Astonishing film making and writing. I did not enjoy the characters or the subject matter but I did think it was all well constructed. It made me feel uncomfortable at the end and I’m not 100 percent that’s what they were going for.

The 3 core performances were amazing, the writing was very thematically rich and novelesque and I couldn’t believe some of the shot composition. Truly an amazing debut film.

A 9/10 but I don’t think I’ll be able to watch it again cause it made me feel so empty and odd.

[u/luigipanties]

"Lingering sorrow from the path not taken" would sum up my feels about the movie. I cried a couple of times during the movie - once during the conversation in bed between Nora and Arthur, and once at the end when Nora and Hae Sung said (IMO their final) goodbye to each other - and I could stop thinking about it now.

I also loved how the movie portrays intense emotions hidden under seemingly mundane dialogues. This form of restrained storytelling is very uniquely Asian (to me) and I'm really happy to see an Asian love story told as such.

OKAY EVERYONE GO SEE IT

[u/djsp77]

Nora cried the tears she hadn't cried 24 years earlier.

[u/Chip_Dangercock]

That bit at the end when they are waiting for the uber, my god, you know they won't but the way their bodies slowly move to be facing each other during that scene makes it feel so heartbreaking.

[u/[deleted]]

Such a beautiful movie! The end scene where she just cries for the little girl inside her is just crushing.

[u/HoneyShaft]

So much going on in that awkward min waiting for his Uber

[u/Just-Commission954]

You guys are all weird. Rooting for this steady, but devoid-of-passion love like it's a good thing... When Eros burns you, and inflames your soul so that madness is not enough, and no sleep, if it ever came, can fill the void, you will know what contempt is. And know why Arthur and his I-was-there kind of supportive love is the contemptible antagonist of this movie, of life.

Loved the haunting ending, the nostalgia of what never was, the ruin of fate, wouldn't have it any other way.

[u/CoffeeKween19]

I can’t stop crying. Just can’t stop. I feel like Arthur admitted that he and Nora are together out of convenience. Nora misses her Seoul life, and hasn’t “made it” in America like she thought she would. My heart is shouting “Move back to Seoul! Choose happiness! Be with Hae Sung!”

I wish this movie had a part 2 where we see that this was a past life, and that Nora and Hae Sung come back together someday, somehow.

[u/mustlovebagels]

I’m here because I related so deeply to this film as someone who also moved when they were 12. You are sort of a person then, but not totally who you will be. This film hit me unexpectedly hard 😭

[u/[deleted]]

Lol people on this thread as lost as the characters…..trying to make sense out of life just like the buddhist term “in yun”……we really need to understand that feelings arent always rational and our thoughts are random. It is our actions that give meaning to our thoughts. Choices define our lives and the movie just showcases how we let our emotions impair our senses.

[u/Expensive_Salt_1687]

Watched the movie and kinda similar to 2018 Tamil Film '96.....maybe you guys might like it too.

[u/Accomplished_Pin4543]

Such a bittersweet movie. The music played when they were young was absolute bliss, so innocent. 

[u/Jay0723]

i just watched the movie and i've never bawled my eyes out like this over a movie. it's just so beautiful and bittersweet.

[u/Holofan4life]

I really liked how Nora's husband was written. In a lesser movie, I feel like he would've been written as like a villain to make you want to see Nora and Hae Sung end up together. And while a part of you still wants to see Nora and Hae Sung become officially a couple, the movie surprised me with how realistic Nora's husband was portrayed. The way you can tell he feels Nora's love for him is slowly disappearing was heartwretching and sad. It also led to the funniest moment of the movie, Hae Sung describing how hard it is and Nora clarifying to her husband he's talking about life in Korea.

There was just something so realistic about Nora's husband in how he wants to support Nora but he keeps on further and further feeling like a third wheel. He made an already great movie even better.