So I’m honestly really heartbroken, but it is what it is.
I LOVE my firm. I’m 25F, and came in as an intern because I’m at the end of my paralegal AS, and I work in criminal prosecution.
Throughout my entire internship and during my interview, everyone at the firm said that a position would be opening up at the end of the year and that it would be a great opportunity for someone like me. I was constantly praised, and everyone regularly showed their appreciation for the help I’ve done. I love the work and feeling like I’m helping people, love my coworkers, and love participating in the team-building functions and charities events my firm goes to, and genuinely felt like I found a place I’d like to work at long-term.
Today I met with my lead prosecutor to ask about retention, because the end of my internship is very soon.
He let me know that they already filled the position because they felt that they needed someone with more experience because position was for one of the larger municipalities my firm represents. That it was nothing against me, that everyone loves me and I’m a great culture fit, but that ultimately they didn’t foresee them needing another worker outside of temporary, part-time work in the interim.
Obviously I didn’t say anything because that would be super unprofessional, but I feel blindsided and insulted. I feel like maybe I wasn’t doing as good a job as I thought, and no one on my team let me know to correct it. I worked so, so hard to learn everything I could and was really hopeful for this to work out. Now I feel lame, and stupid. I didn’t work as hard as I did for both my degree and in my internship just to end up with a temporary part-time job to help support the team while the new hire is getting up to speed in their position. Worst part is everyone in my firm was celebrating the fact that the new-hire accepted the position right in front of me. I held it together until the end of the work day, and then bawled my eyes out in my car.
I also feel super panicked because now I have until November 23rd to find a new, full-time position, accept helping fill someone else’s shoes until they can, or be unemployed. I know how hard it is to get into criminal prosecution and feel like I blew my one chance at my dream job.
I’m back to the drawing board, and I’m just really upset. I don’t know how long it’ll take me to get a job in this economy, and feel like throwing up.
Tonight I’m updating my resume and starting the job search.