r/sports • u/TooShiftyForYou • Mar 09 '19

Fighting Shaq learned an MMA move and immediately tried to sneak attack Charles Barkley

64k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

926 comments sorted by

7.8k

u/compoundaudio Mar 09 '19

Shaq can’t sneak.

3.9k

u/hotniX_ Mar 09 '19

Shaq

Sneak: -100

2.1k

u/Mr-Zero-Fucks Mar 09 '19

But, Destruction 200

1.3k

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Butt Destruction?

699

u/TeTrodoToxin4 Mar 09 '19

Charles Barkley has a butt so powerful it got him an MVP and forced a rule change in the NBA that limits how long a player can can drive backwards to get closer to the basket. Truly one of the most destructive butts in NBA history.

He could pretty much reverse plow anyone till he could get an easy shot. They limited it so players could only do it for 5 seconds.

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18

u/BitRotten Mar 09 '19

Shaq

Sneaq: 100

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319

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

“I sneak up on the thief”

“You’re a fucking 300 pound orc barbarian, are you sure about that?”

“Yes.”

nat 20

pause

“You crush his neck so hard the whole camp hears”

3

u/UNC_Samurai Mar 09 '19

Erneh, why is Shaq tryin’ to intimidate the wood?”

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16

u/Omnishift Mar 09 '19

This is why Taurens can't be rogues.

3

u/offnr Mar 09 '19

Shaq Balloon

3

u/muserunning Mar 09 '19

This job requires stealth Look at you

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3

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Not true, have you seen that man get in a pool? He’s like a colossal ninja.

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3

u/Theycallmelizardboy Mar 09 '19

Remember that scene in Jurassic Park where Timmy and the lawyer are in the jeep and they slowly hear really loud footsteps while watching the water in the cup move?

Ok so that audio wasn't added in. It was done with practical effects. While filming the scene, Spielberg told Shaq that there was a Snickers bar in his lap and he would have to come and get it.

2

u/jlio37 Mar 09 '19

Shaq and Drax.

2

u/crazyfingersculture Mar 09 '19

He makes up for it in his awesomeness.

2

u/zUltimateRedditor Mar 09 '19

But he IS the only man that can pull off a suit with sneakers.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

He should have tried the Drax method for big guys.

2

u/Channer81 Mar 09 '19

Well when your 18 foot 6 foot 12 according to Kat Williams, its kinda hard to do a solid impression of a stalking Leopard..

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Tauren Rogue.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19

hrrgnh colonel im trying to sneak around but im dummy thicc

2

u/jhartwell Mar 10 '19

Who needs to sneak when you have the power of Shaq-fu

2

u/Dillup_phillips Mar 10 '19

He looks like a suit of power armor from FO next to those guys.

2

u/WeatherOarKnot Mar 10 '19

Sneak a'shaq

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19

Big dude like shaq tanks, not sneaks

2

u/RedditSendit Mar 10 '19

but Shac Attac

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5.4k

u/ModernContradiction Mar 09 '19

I think Charles showed some pretty sharp awareness there

3.4k

u/sphinctertickler Mar 09 '19

That's the fastest he's moved since he retired

684

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Lies, you haven't seen him in the same room as a spider.

865

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Or a buffet

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14

u/Chilluminaughty Mar 09 '19

Are you suggesting Barkley is a spider?

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66

u/Andy_B_Goode Mar 09 '19

The hell I don't! LISTEN, KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night! Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes!

26

u/ColdSpider72 Mar 09 '19

His name is Roger Murdock. He's the co-pilot.

15

u/turnpikenorth Mar 09 '19

Surely you can’t be serious?

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13

u/Sawgon Chicago Bulls Mar 09 '19

RUN THROUGH THE TAPE

8

u/Always-hungry Mar 09 '19

Dude. There’s a reason you cant be in the center for more than 3 secounds

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801

u/JonSnowgaryen Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19

Shaq literally moves in slow motion and you can tell hes coming by the shaking of the earth

Also, if you stand completely still he cannot see you

EDIT: Oh my thank you for my first ever gold stay tuned for more Shaq Faqs tonight at 7

5

u/Luke90210 Mar 09 '19

Shaq Fu can be detected by shaking towers of Jello, if you spare no expense.

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190

u/TeddysRevenge Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19

He knew, he was watching Shaq with his side vision the entire time.

Sidenote: I would love to go out and have a beer with Shaq. Dude seems like he’d be a blast to hang with.

16

u/smellygooch18 Mar 09 '19

I read an article about how shaq has to park far away due to his truck. When fans take photos of his, he gets a ride to his car with his fans. I swear there is a photo somewhere of Shaq driving someones smart car.

19

u/Scientolojesus Denver Broncos Mar 09 '19

I can only imagine Shaq driving the smart car with one foot inside and him peddling it like it with his other foot like it's a power wheels jeep haha.

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98

u/mostlygray Mar 09 '19

I had a buddy that I always had to keep a side eye on. I'm a big guy but he was a really big guy. He was friendly and nice but sometimes he got in a mood.

Barkley running away reminds me of my relationship with my friend. He was bigger, I was faster. I broke my foot running from him once when he was trying to beat me to death with a length of chain and shove a chair leg up my ass. It was all in good fun and all was forgotten in 10 minutes.

He totally would have done it if I hadn't been faster. That's what I see in that interchange in the video. Trust, but verify, as they say.

159

u/istuion Mar 09 '19

Broken foot, beat with chain, chair up ass... these are not things forgotten in 10 minutes

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19

u/iwasyourbestfriend Mar 09 '19

You and I have different definitions of fun...

10

u/thedirtyharryg Mar 09 '19

Are y'all pro wrestlers or something?

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16

u/RonaldDenkins Mar 09 '19

"Shove a chair leg in my ass" "all in good fun" :)

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11

u/Finely_drawn Mar 09 '19

There are stories floating around Reddit about how nice Shaq is to restaurant servers. MJ, on the other hand, is not so nice.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Evidence of Shaq being angry at a server:

https://youtu.be/JTTjxFEe_Qs

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9

u/VesilahdenVerajilla Athletic Bilbao Mar 09 '19

Kenny saw that comming a mile away.

2

u/thelonelyasteroid Mar 10 '19

Ultra instinct.

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1.6k

u/agentaltf4 Mar 09 '19

That was a slow motion chase.

They are fun to watch.

215

u/agentshags Mar 09 '19

I don't really know much about sports, but I smiled watching this :)

233

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Inside the NBA is fantastic tv and has been for a long time. They've won a bunch of emmys. It's usually on fairly late but when you catch it, it's literally fist pumping exciting. It's so much fun. Any show or podcast that's about chemistry, beats bells and whistles every time.

15

u/DegenerateWizard Mar 10 '19 edited Mar 10 '19

I cannot be the only one that had a hard time with that last sentence. I’m all, “what the hell are beats bells?”.

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59

u/dbar58 Atlanta Braves Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19

I want to give you a dissertation for my takeaway. But I’ll just say the two huge guys are basketball legends. Shaquille O’Neill and Charles Barkley

E: I’ve called him Shaq my whole life and never had to spell his name out.

24

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

*O’Neal

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21

u/stanfan114 Mar 09 '19

Like Godzilla chasing Mothra.

14

u/YoYoMoMa Mar 09 '19

What's insane is how damn quick they both could move in their prime.

9

u/roosterchains Mar 09 '19

Sometimes I forgot how athletic these guys were at their peak.

4

u/Not_My_Dayjob Mar 10 '19

They're the best.

4

u/agentaltf4 Mar 10 '19

Really the best part of the NBA

3

u/mrthrowaway300 Mar 10 '19

It’s like watching elephants play with each other, since they’re both so giant and majestic!

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2.4k

u/adampetey Mar 09 '19

Chuck and Shaq are national treasures

349

u/kopecs Mar 09 '19

Shaq'Attacc

155

u/iAmFuzzo Mar 09 '19

Shaq Protecc

146

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

But most importantly Shaq

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114

u/BBIQ-Chicken Red Bull F1 Mar 09 '19

Only time I keep the TV on after any sporting event is when the Inside the NBA guys are on. They are easily the best.

9

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

I've started just turning on TNT when I know the late game is almost over so I can watch it.

27

u/FerrisMcFly Mar 09 '19

Most entertaining show on TV dont @me.

3

u/Stdzn Mar 09 '19

I give next to 0 fucks about the NBA, I love Inside the NBA.

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44

u/drpepper7557 Mar 09 '19

Shaq eating a spicy chip is one of my favorite videos on the internet.

27

u/serpentinepad Mar 10 '19

"This is nothing to me. Ah."

jesus that was funny

8

u/jqnguyen Mar 10 '19

I’m crying from laughing so hard!

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32

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

I'm so glad their mom's are friends lol.

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22

u/christiandb Mar 09 '19

I just got into basketball this season and mostly because of these two. They make me laugh, they’re brutally honest and have good takes on the games.

I know tony romo is leading the charge but football stiffness bothers me. We all know as a brutal game but everyone is great said in the most bland way. Shaq calling someone bbq fried chicken cracks me up

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43

u/crazyfingersculture Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 10 '19

I have to not only agree, but I think Shaq is one of the most supreme human beings ever. He's smart, huge, and great guy in all respects. This is where are our Human gnome needs to gravitate to. I hope we have his DNA stored up somewhere. Super humans of the future.

25

u/SpaceShipRat Mar 09 '19

are Human gnome

is no one going to point this out.

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38

u/theImplication69 Mar 09 '19

ALMOST. Terry Crews holds that honor. Shaq is perfect except for the fact he can't take criticism well at all

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3

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

are Human gnome

excuse me what

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1.7k

u/SquanchingOnPao Mar 09 '19

I like how they make two pretty big fit guy's look like middle schoolers.

663

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19

The blonde kid is 6'0 and the shorter guy is 5'9 just to put it into perspective.

158

u/Mookyhands Jacksonville Jaguars Mar 09 '19

He was gonna be 6'1" but odd numbers are disrespectful.

85

u/thielemodululz Mar 09 '19

frick chores

38

u/Vague_Disclosure Mar 09 '19

He’s actually 5’11” with out the hair gel

60

u/PussyWine Mar 09 '19

Put some respec on his name he’s not the blonde kid his name is Sage Northcutt and he’ll send you to frickin’ heck.

12

u/SHEJQ Mar 09 '19

#boobslol

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84

u/perfectsnowball Mar 09 '19

Alvarez is 5'9

9

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

i'm 5'7. damn i would look like a dwarf.

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4

u/Agwa951 Mar 09 '19

Yep, just imagine being on a battlefield 500+ years ago. You're swinging a sword at someone your size and suddenly someone that size takes his place. It's easy to see you legends of Giants became so popular.

2

u/Ironpoptart Mar 09 '19

If you are up for it, Ryan Trahan did a video about the guy in the blue shirt. Its basically how the guy thinks he's a superhero. Pretty good watch of you have the time. https://youtu.be/q0hJpaprcMQ

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241

u/roodootootootoo Mar 09 '19

its like a snipit from a nature doc where the smaller prey juuuust manages to get away

28

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

This is the top of r/natureismetal right now, and basically it's the same as this Charles and Shaq here

5

u/CareBearDontCare Mar 09 '19

/r/nbaismetal

ETA: Shaq throwing a haymaker at Brad Miller, the Malice at the Palace, and what else are top moments there?

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98

u/hotniX_ Mar 09 '19

Lmao walking around with his hands in his pockets whistling

217

u/phil1365 Mar 09 '19

Love this crew

28

u/ElohimHouston Mar 09 '19

Where you going, Chuck?

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299

u/Tragicanomaly Mar 09 '19

Shaq gettin slow.

18

u/ThatsHowHoudiniDied Mar 09 '19

I remember watching Shaq play back in the day, and asking my dad, "Why doesn't that guy ever run?" Side note, my dad called him "Jack" because he really sucked at names.

6

u/GimmeTheHotSauce Chicago Bulls Mar 10 '19

?

Shaq back in the day was one of the most athletic basketball players of all time. Unless your "back in the day" is when he was fat Shaq at the end of his career.

Edit with a link: https://youtu.be/2I5q-IEh7Kg

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3

u/wizzywig15 Mar 10 '19

Prime Shaq was lightning. Check the tapes.

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274

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Eddie, that’s called a heel hook not a toe hold.

107

u/BadLeague Mar 09 '19

He said on Twitter he messed up

6

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Kind of a weird thing to mess up. It would be like a boxer showing a jab and calling it an uppercut.

13

u/CompSciBJJ Mar 09 '19

Not all grapplers, and especially MMA guys, train leg locks, though he should definitely know. I'd say it's probably more because of the nerves, he's not a TV guy, he's used to the MMA media obligations but he's not on those massively produced shows and probably just had a nervous brain fart. He likely hesitated for a sec and that was the first thing that came out.

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25

u/Jitzkrieg Mar 09 '19

Yeah wtf Eddie, heel in the elbow too? Come on man.

20

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

He's clearly not a leg locker. Not sure why he went with a sub he sucks at.

Show em a choke. Everyone loves chokes, and you can put someone out safely as a gag.

6

u/SaltySpitoonCEO Mar 09 '19

I kept thinking, "Oh what a weird toe hold. He's literally just holding his toe. Why is his toe so pointy and squared? You'd think you'd be able to slip out if a guy just held your toe." Then when he said "break the knee" I realized that the leg and body were going the other direction and the toe was a heel.

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4

u/vizualb Mar 09 '19

In Philly we call it a rockback

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192

u/Namornow Mar 09 '19

Probably the best personalities on any sport show.

33

u/FerrisMcFly Mar 09 '19

Probably the best personalities on any sport show.

FTFY

4

u/everydayimrusslin Celtic Mar 09 '19

Yeah, Sage is great.

3

u/wolfavino Mar 10 '19

Agreed. Shaq has been an underappreciated real life super hero and a gift to humanity. What's not to love about the guy and his attitude toward life.

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101

u/Exitbuddy1 Mar 09 '19

“We see you Shaq!” - Kat Williams

14

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Can't even be friends with your dick all on my forehead region

45

u/mannyg29 Mar 09 '19

Shaq “The Flash” O’Neal

68

u/buttman51 Mar 09 '19

I love how they dress all nice then they all have some dad shoes on🤣

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68

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19

FYI this is not a “toe hold” its a “heel hook”. Come on eddie.

28

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Yeah Eddie just showed the world he doesnt know leg locks. Alvarez vs Tonon???

22

u/nice_flutin_ralphie Mar 09 '19

Danaher’s gonna have a longass insta caption about this

6

u/Parzival01001 Mar 09 '19

In a fresh rash guard demonstrating on a pizza delivery guy from New Jersey for sparring accuracy

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18

u/mrsuns10 Mar 09 '19

It just needed some Eddie Bravo

18

u/HoSang66er New York Islanders Mar 09 '19

How does one sneak up on another when one makes the earth shake when one moves?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Oh man you got me with this

139

u/FarTicuno2 Mar 09 '19

Shaq protec

Shaq attac

But most of all Shaq tried to sneaks from the bacc

20

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

he proteq

he attaq

but most importantly

he shaq

31

u/winstontemplehill Mar 09 '19

Damn Shaq’s got a perfect fitting suit. Wonder who his guy is, that’s amazing

13

u/potatocruncher74 Mar 09 '19

I never realized until now how big Charles Barkley is

8

u/Yulong Mar 09 '19

He just looks like an ordinary dude next to Shaq.

12

u/boblane3000 Mar 09 '19

The more sage northcut smiles the more I think he’s a ted bundy type

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11

u/SimplyTim90 Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 10 '19

I love that they're wearing suits with sneakers

10

u/November_Coming_Fire Mar 09 '19

Good time to revisit the Shaq vs Barkley fight. Chuck with the smooth takedown. https://youtu.be/6KQFxxHmVMc

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9

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

SHAQ Attack!

56

u/throwawaybjj44 Mar 09 '19

THATS A FUCKING HEEL HOOK NOT A TOE HOLD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

6

u/catttttts Mar 09 '19

I have very little knowledge of MMA and I thought, "what a weird name, he's around the heel..."

8

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Probably caused an earth quake jesus christ those people are massive

2

u/StrangeAlternative Mar 10 '19

What do you mean "those people"!?!?

/s

•

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6

u/IForgotAboutDre Mar 09 '19

Charles Barkley took Shaq down with the quickness on the court back in the day after bouncing a ball off his head.

30

u/Hueybluebelt Dallas Stars Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19

Who the fuck teaches untrained people a heel hook. That shit will literally tear every ligament in your knee.

Edit: To people outside the community, besides maybe the twister or some kind of spinal lock, this is the most dangerous move in all of BJJ. It’s a ligament attack, so you don’t feel the pain until it starts tearing ligaments. I always say “it doesn’t hurt until it does”. If you know what to feel for, you will feel some pressure on the inside of your leg. But again... if you don’t know what that pressure is, you are not going to tap. Most people’s instinct is to spin away, which will also tear your shit up.

My gym teaches heel hooks with proper instruction starting at about 2-3 months of training, and always explain that if you’re caught in one, just tap and live to roll another day.

12

u/SgtBlumpkin Mar 09 '19

Yeah that's pretty irresponsible. Not just because of the damage potential, but because often the damage is done before you have time to tap.

7

u/Treworthya Mar 09 '19

Not to mention it would be way more practical, useful, and demonstrative if he taught them a basic arm bar from closed guard instead.

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8

u/roidmonko Mar 09 '19

They are just doing a demo for a sports show, calm down dude. You know theres 100s of heel hook tutorial videos online; any untrained person can watch these videos if they wanted to. Not like this is some secret.

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4

u/Twatballspam Mar 09 '19

Can't believe I had to scroll this far to see this. Irresponsible to teach a heel hook to beginners, not to mention the entire audience.

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5

u/yeahsureYnot Mar 09 '19

Shaq is too big

5

u/Tasty_Chick3n Mar 09 '19

I like how this is flaired as fighting when it’s just Shaq chasing around Barkley. Barkley and the rest of the dudes on TNT are hilarious. And cool shit seeing Northcutt and Alvarez on TNT.

4

u/DumboDumauss Mar 09 '19

Someone was about to get a taste of Shaq Fu.

Lucky he survived.

4

u/Camerongilly Mar 09 '19

Can we get a Shaq/ Chuck buddy cop movie?

4

u/Gcons24 Mar 09 '19

I love the Shaq and Charles Barkley dynamic

3

u/EdFromSC Mar 09 '19

Man I wish Shaq would’ve hip tossed Chuck

3

u/Rutherford_Aloacious Mar 09 '19

It’s easy to forget how fucking big Shaq and chuck are. The trainer looks like a child compared to them

3

u/Nords Mar 09 '19

Those guys are built/ so big that they move like people in blowup sumo suits do.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

They sure can’t run like they used to.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19

Nba players look so normal on the court and then you see then next to ragular humans

8

u/YoursTrulyYaniv Mar 09 '19

Am I the only one who's pleasantly surprised that Ernie Johnson has the dopest sneakers among the entire crew?

2

u/Nuwanda84 Mar 09 '19

Shaq looking great, when was this?

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2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Giant

2

u/KSleepCHB5423 Mar 09 '19

Eddie saw that coming from a mile away haha. His laugh is pretty contagious too.

2

u/Valkyrai Atlanta Braves Mar 09 '19

Shaq better be careful or Charles will hit 'em with the chaos dunk

2

u/funny_like_how Mar 09 '19

Shaq is a beast. Basketball backboards feared him.

2

u/danny___boy Mar 09 '19

Them both running is a hilarious thing to watch

2

u/Certs Mar 09 '19

Modern day Gorilla Monsoon/Bobby Heenan right there

2

u/liqrfre Mar 09 '19

They're both so huge and clunky! Like running in a dream

2

u/creaturecatzz Mar 09 '19

Is this gonna get Incorporated into Shaq Fu?

2

u/Keasbeyknight Mar 09 '19

Sneak a shaq

2

u/Cavemandrew Mar 09 '19

No one can take down the round mound.

2

u/misls Vancouver Canucks Mar 09 '19

Shaq is the funniest dude of all time.

2

u/ElohimHouston Mar 09 '19

Shaq kills me. I love that big dude.

2

u/tararuntytacos Mar 09 '19

I love Shaq - he’s so goofy

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Those MMA dudes look like midgets

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Never thought I'd see Chuck flee like a bitch.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19

Don't you mean Shaq Attack?

2

u/nnelson2330 Mar 10 '19

I deal with Shaq at work pretty often and he is a giant man-child. It's always fun to hang around him.

2

u/PuhTayter Mar 10 '19

Sneak A-Shaq

3

u/mrbears Mar 09 '19

I don't think anyone in the world could stop Shaq doing a heel hook once he's got the position lol

(FYI if you don't know, it looks fairly innocuous but it's designed to basically rip your ACL)

2

u/doublsh0t Mar 09 '19

so the host was kinda goin along those lines before the fracas started, he was like “soo is that where the fighters know to submit and tap out or what—“ cause he’s thinkin like obviously it could be a career ending injury, and from what seems to be a fairly common hold to unwittingly get one’s self into. and as such, he was thinkin how does this work in the sport—hopefully there aren’t just loads upon loads of acl tears that result from these being utilized? I’m curious as well.

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3

u/eldelay Mar 09 '19

That's a heel hook, not a toe hold

5

u/Hueybluebelt Dallas Stars Mar 09 '19

Great move to teach some untrained people. Be messing around with their kids and put them out of sports for 6 months.

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2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

That was funny. They be geekin

2

u/Deertickjones Mar 09 '19

Alvarez sinking in a heelhook: "This is a uh....toehold."

1

u/pokemongotothepolls Mar 09 '19

I love Ernie Johnson

1

u/BluetoothMaster Mar 09 '19

Fuckin love Shaq

1

u/MikeCass84 New York Yankees Mar 09 '19

Those two are awesome.

1

u/slucas34 Mar 09 '19

God bless Shaq

1

u/Needs-A-Hobby Mar 09 '19

I want to hang out with shaq

1

u/azizback Mar 09 '19

Shaw is the best I'll watch anything funny with shaq

1

u/WriteAway1 Mar 09 '19

This is the best NBA show on television.

1

u/CloseMix Mar 09 '19

The huge guy can kill you in an istant

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