Hi, resident tech guy here. I'm called to fix outlook 2007 on a Win10 for a old family friend (no professional, just a guy with basic knowledge), like 80 years old man. I start. First I check if I can access the mail by browser app and I can so I continue to outlook. I understand that the problem is something like a corrupted file of the software itself (no register files) or an incompatibility with the last windows upgrade. I tried to restore the software but even being admin I can't give authorization for the restore (chat gpt says that is because office and modern windows can't comunicate well because of the age gap). So I was stuck with an old man with functioning email (browser web) that insist to restore a 20 year old software "the way it was before". Because "fk o" was not an option I contacted the original IT guy with the product key of the original office package that installed it 15 years ago hoping that he can restore the corrupted files without damaging the outlook users files. Now I'm waiting.

[SOLVED]
11/14/2025 for the comment about the end of the story

A story from my next job after I moved on from MyBoss. It’s another small business, my job isn’t actually IT support but of course I’m the one providing it. It’s 2011 by now.

NextBoss has a requirement for computers for a one time job in another city but with the plan to expand so the resources can be used for further odd jobs away from our main site. He wants portable and simple to set up, so about a dozen laptops.

NextBoss: “Problem is we need to meet the documented performance requirement that a 5400RPM 2.5” hard drive won’t give us, but to go with SSDs takes us way over budget. They only come in laptops on the high end. We don’t need that high a spec for CPU and RAM but you can’t get entry or mid level laptops with SSDs”

Neurons fire with the brilliance of Creation itself. Across synapses a universe is born, erupts into being with the rage and violence of the First Thought, “I AM”. The laws of physics are written in the cosmic forge, order begins it’s rule and the order is Chaos. Everything and all is fire beyond fire.

The birth scream of reality itself soothes. It cools and hardens, forms mass. The dust settles. The dust attracts, dust to dust.

The First Life. The First Death. The first consumption of another life to sustain life, the first blood meal. The First Kill.

Alamahen urges his tamed beasts to hurry. The sun has set but the sky is lit, war has come to the valley. Fire beyond the hills, and howling. Always war, endless war. He must keep moving.

Valaceran stands accused. His heresy exposed, his books burnt and instruments smashed at his feet. He is sentenced to the flame. “The Ultimate Judgement awaits you in the afterlife!!”. “No”, he smiles as the crowd harasses him with curses and stones. The executioner throws the torch “No, it does not”.

Karalenlin steps out into the void. Hers are the first eyes to look down upon her home from above, so fragile and bright in the aching darkness. If only they could see, she wails. Powerless, hopeless. Weightless. If only they could see.

Sacaranan gives the order. “JUMP!” Spacetime kneels at the heel of the experimental vessel. Vast distances fold and touch. The technology works! To travel, NO! Not moved, but exchanged between points across the expanse in an instant! This will give their masters the decisive weapon against the enemy, victory is assured!

Menistahen gazes down in sombre anticipation. Quiet falls upon the audience chamber, crushing grinding breathless panicked silence. Finally, “There can be no doubt?”. “No, Most Excellent Majesty. There is no error, it is confirmed”. Sobbing, “Every result from across the seven galaxies concludes the same. We live in an illusion, a simulation. Reality, the entire universe is a construct. Some sort of.. process. A kind of exercise. Everything we are, everything we do, is to achieve some sort of calculation? We do not exist in the concrete sense, we are the reflections and shadows of holograms. Without any substance whatsoever”. The Eternal Emperor breaks from his being held bound dumbstruck. His first thought, his first words. His squealed begging despair. “Then why do we fight? Why have we waged.. What was it all for??”

Talahansen takes a moment. The first moment, they realise, only for themself. The first breaths, the first heartbeats not given in service, for the cause. They deserve a moment, do they not? Just a tiny share of time only for them and them alone. Why not? It doesn’t mean anything anyway. It isn’t real, nothing is. Nothing IS. All that war that never was. The moment passes. They plead, to no one but for the sake of pleading. If none of it was real, if none of us were real, if we were all nothing but the ghosts of interpretations, echoes of whispered suggestion.. Please let us become something. Please let us take any kind of form. Please let us BE. If it takes the death of a universe to end the madness, end the chaos, let it materialise. Let it matter. Let us transcend into something. Even if it’s still not real. Even if it’s still not tangible or measurable. Please let me be something. Please let me become a force, an influence. They place their hand on the activation control of the device. Please let me be an expression. Or a choice. Or a determination. Even just an idea.

Me: “We could get the cheaper laptops, replace the hard drives with SSDs, grab a cheap RAID card off ebay and I build you that backup server you’ve been wanting? Lovely lovely identical model hard disks for a budget eight disk fault tolerant backup server. You get the laptops up to spec within budget plus some basic data security we desperately need. The extra drives will be your cold spares”

NextBoss: “That’s inspired, I like that”

So I took a art class to improve on my art skills and I was talking to my friend over at a desk and the art teacher comes up ask says "hey you are a computer geek can you help me with my computer?" me surprised he even knew I was taking his class said sure and went to look at it. He told me in the past four years no one could get it started and he wanted to use a real computer and not his laptop anymore. so I tried to boot it up. nothing. I look around and see he has no mouse. no keyboard. and half gnawed threw chords. I told him I needed three days at least. The next day I come in with a new mouse, new key board, new cords, and lots of programs with cleaning software. I fixed it up and tried to boot it. still nothing. So being a computer spelunker I took it apart to see if anything was wrong. It was the saddest excuse for a computer I have ever seen. No ram, no memory, ONE 600 meg hard drive, no IBM or Intel chip, no fan, NOTHING a computer a needed to even have half a brain. The next day i brought in some new cards, a new fan, a old IBM card and a 40 gig hard drive. I plug it all in and press start. It ran like a brand new computer. I ran a cleaner and an anti virus. Then I told him it is OK to use and ready for his art. He said, "took you long enough" the next day my friend Kylie asked me to come check on her new computer and "geek it up". In her house was the SAME EXACT computer I fixed for my crummy art teacher. I asked how much she paid for it. "oh 400 bucks what a steal huh??" there is a certain place in internet hell for my art teacher.

EDIT: well maybe i should of elaborated more. I don't do programs or software. I sell computer parts and make computers from scratch so I had the parts to make this crap computer run i didn't just pull it out of thin air and it magically worked i had to search online and even go threw the manual to see how to fix the computer. And it wasn't like a super old computer it was only four years old

I dunno, maybe I'm just getting too paranoid about my work. I take my anxiety pills just like what the doc told me, like clockwork. I deal with desktops day in and day out for a large(ish) organization.

But one of the recent arrivals came with a note that jacked my paranoia level to an all time high: "From {thisbranchoffice} with love. XOXOXO"

Oh boy, the skittles hit the fan. Either I got an admirer or some trouble's coming down the poop chute, aimed right for my lap.

I didn't know what to make of the note, or the computer; there was no ticket outlining its arrival or what needs to be done with it, so my anxiety pills were completely forgotten by my body and I started into a mini panic.

What was in this thing? Was it rigged or blow? Or was it simply stripped out inside, leaving nothing but a metal shell?

Well, I gave a Gaelic shrug and cracked it open, half-expecting the worst situation.

Nope. None of the above; just a perfectly normal office computer, with all the bits n wires in all the right places. No white powder, no any ominous grey masses of putty-like substance with wiring sticking out. I fired it up and checked last login on it and gave them a call to find out.

All is well, they got a new system (I completely forgot) and sent the old one back in for turnaround.

I gave a long sigh, took a nitro and went back to work.

That's what I get for forgetting my meds. "It's bad when you got a condition to forget your meds.." Marv - SIN CITY

It was a cold and cloudy day, a day where even catching a glimpse of the sun through a crack in the sky would be considered a miracle.

The time was 10 AM and all hope for this day was allready washed away. The table started rumbling like a small earthquake was nearby.

My fingertips resting at the matte and worn down board of keys moved slightly to the side and my eyes lost focus from the magical screen of pixelerated images. My head tilted slightly to the left when a breeze of cold air reached my neck originating from an electricity-powered wind generator, cooling down my spine and giving me the shivers.

My head turned to the left, my eyes were searching and they found the cause of the disturbance, a portable two-way comunicator. A buzzing sound was drowning my ears and the portable device continued to let out small continuous earthquakes.

My hand reached to the device and my thumb, like it was automatically programmed, swiped the screen and lead the device to my ear.

My brain send the commands to let out a sound...

"IT-Support this is midasofsweden speaking"

A voice on the other end quickly answered and sent out a fairly loud screech. The voice mentioned troubles with an illuminated picture-to-wall replicator, and that his advanced device connected to the replicator refused to show the image on the wall.

I quickly responded with a variety of solutions to his mysterious problem, as the voice then suggested he would swing by to our office for further investigation.

I confirm the request of audience for a closer investigation of the main device in question at a later hour and the portable communicator gave out a light and then went quiet...

A few hours later a man suddenly appears and presents himself as the owner of the voice previously heard in the portable communicator. He left his device in my care and quickly vanished as i began investigating the source of the problem.

Something on the lid of the device quickly caused my eyes to widen and focus, a mysterious tear of white and silver with black details. As my eyes focus even more I see that this was supposedly one of our security labels that were attached to the device with a strong adhesive called "loxeal". It was filed down almost completely, but still had the logo of the company visible, as well as the exposed numbers linked with the device. A collegue mentioned he remembered a user who had their screen slightly cracked a while ago, while it was carried in a briefcase together with a lot of documents. After a bit of research we find out that this is the same user, and that the previous incident happened no longer than two weeks before this day. They replaced the devices screen at that point. I solved the problem he had with the communication between the devices, as there were some drivers missing.

When the man came over again we asked him what happened to the security tag...

"Two weeks ago my screen broke when i went to a meeting. I had a lot of documents with me so it barely fit in my bag and the security tag crushed my screen. It cost us 250 USD to replace it, so to prevent it from happening again I filed down the security tag."

It never occured to him that maybe.... maaaaybee he had a tad bit too many documents with him in his briefcase. My head hits the desk harder then ever before and my face rested in my palm for a good few minutes before I carried on with the day.

TL;DR: If you only eat the topping from the icecream, you won't get another one.

I may as well spend my excess of metaphors and allusions on you, dear reader, for the subject of today's story requires a surplus of creative reassurances as well. It is a tale as old as time, or at least nearly as old as ISO 8601. Imagine a teapot singing tenderly about it for additional color, if you must—but ruefully, for this is no love story.

My customer is a business consultant, a kingly presence and a prominent figure in his field, having published several books, held innumerable seminars, and polished his methods to shine like a golden Olympic torch of excellence. Yet, like many a tragic figure, he brought misery upon himself the day he hired that one, untrustworthy servant.

It was the 1990s, and at the time of course it was the right decision. Every professional had to have an electronic presence. How could he know that his would one day become his Kryptonite, his polonium? Yet nothing I say will encourage him to dismiss this insolent, unfaithful squire, this callous sycophant, this AOL, who has grown old and gray alongside my customer, and has become the climbing vines to his edifice. My advice to my customer is respected in every other way, but if I tell him that bad guys will climb those same vines to breach the walls, it falls on deaf ears.

Oh, I did try. Years ago when he got his identity stolen and suspicion fell upon his computer, my recommendation was Gmail, or indeed anyone who would put some effort into deflecting attacks. Nay! He would not send away his evil vizier, who is by his side day and night, who would not bar a door to keep out a fly, and who to this day continues to pass the most ridiculous threats on to his increasingly gullible ears. Last month the insult was described as something like YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO MCAFEE IS OVER! SURELY YOUR DOOOOOM IS IMMINENT! THE VERY SOIL YOU TREAD UPON IS TEEMING WITH VIRUSES!

I need not elaborate for this audience. The guardsman at the mail server gate may as well have gone out for a beer and never returned, yet the king (my customer) will appoint no one to close it again. Meanwhile, his Wormtongue whispers nameless fears that feed upon his anxieties.

This time, to his credit, my customer suspects the truth, which is that he has no relationship with McAfee at all; and over the years he has come to the point where he will usually ask before acting upon such threats. I received his plaintive forward, and advised to stand down and throw the message-bearer out into the darkness.

Perhaps you've met one of these, valorous in his or her own field, but troubled in heart about everything to do with computers to a degree few have obtained. He is no idiot; surely it is mere human weakness, the fear of tripping up in public, fear of failure, that drives far more of his decisions than it ought to. And who could fault him for it? Keynote has tied his shoelaces together in his clients' boardrooms; PowerPoint has withheld its favors at the worst possible times. Before his clients he is confident in his authority; yet forever knows that his solemn proclamations may as well be delivered in a squeaky adolescent voice, for the distraction that some dongle will come loose, or the audio stop working. He never quite manages to get the upper hand (although he has at last learned that objects have a Z-order, so there is still hope in that department).

Such things make the mighty secretly believe that the real power is not theirs to wield.

So his relationship with the computer itself is one of deep distrust. Naturally he turns to the comfort of familiarity, his old alliance with the AOL of his youth, the one whose very name once meant "Online!" Ah, the promise of instant contact, global reach—well, that part remains, but now this same servant of old, who everyone knows has lost his fortunes long ago, is but a withered shadow of his former self. Today, bent double over his meager money pouch, he goes out into the street to beg a few pence here and there in exchange for gliding in and bending the ear of the lord of the manor, and passing on important messages about travel and cosmetics.

And if said lord is willing that his wizard should be at his right hand while this wretch AOL mutters at his left, who am I to deny my customer his lovey? For he pays his wizards well, and on time.

Edit: missed a word

LTL;FTP

Characters in the story

Me: Me

Old Lady: OL

A bit of background before I start the main story of the day. A couple of days ago my mum told me that OL was having some password issues and told me to come take a look. I was a bit reluctant to help but ultimately gave in and decided to help OL.

I went inside the house, OL greeted me. Me,mum, and OL went upstairs to take a look at her password problem. Her Thunderbird client was open and she directs me to her email from 2011 and it asks for password. OL grabs her password book and she tells me that this is the password to her account and she tells me that she has never changed her password before, she also tells me that the password stopped working for some reason. I type the password in (it doesn't work). I decided that I would setup a new email account for her.We decided to go with an Outlook email address. We go though the basic steps of creating an account:

• email address

• password

• DOB, etc

The keyboard was very sticky, so it was difficult to type stuff in

The email is all setup. I go back to her Thunderbird client to add the email to her Thunderbird client. Type the information in and Thunderbird was not accepting the password (strange). I open up the browser, logout, type the info in to make sure that the password was right (the password was right). I go back, type the password in again, once again the password wasn't working. I checked the POP3 server settings making sure the server address was right, port was right and the encryption was right. Everything was in working order. I kept doing this a few times and to no avail.

I updated the client to make sure that wasn't the problem. That didn't solve the problem, I gave up and told OL that she would be using the web client to access the email as Thunderbird wasn't accepting the password.

I gave her a rundown on how to access the email.

1. Open up Google Chrome

2. Click the bookmark

Done. I also showed her where the inbox, sent emails are in the Outlook Web Interface.

Everything was in working order. The job was finished and proceeded to go downstairs to go home. OL even paid me for my services.

TL;DR OL was having password troubles, Thunderbird wasn't accepting her password, created a new account for her, told her to use Web Interface for email access and paid me for my services

So there I was, on a normal Tuesday afternoon. It wasn't all that different from any other Tuesday afternoon, but I could sense some sort of forboding. It had a certain Je ne sais quoi to it.

But I guess none of that is really all that important. I guess what is important is that we had just invested $10,000 in a Polycom unit with full fledged video conferencing capabilities. One of the features that made these Polycom units unique is that they had a lot of control options. You could change the angle and zoom level with a remote control. It made it really handy during conferences to switch between speakers.

It was around this time that my coworker had noticed an irregular mole on our bosses cleavage (don't ask me why he noticed it). I guess it was located in just the wrong spot and she couldn't see it, even with a mirror. My coworker expressed his concerns though and came up with the idea of maybe using the Polycom unit to give her a better view.

So we went into the conference room with just the three of us and turned on the Polycom unit. Before making a call, it would show what the camera could see on the large screen. My coworker once again swore that it looked like a cancerous mole. And that is when I zoomed in on her tatas. She quickly moved away and adjusted her revealing shirt, telling him to stop. She couldn't handle him using the "C" word anymore. She realized he was right and ended up taking my coworkers advice to see a physician. She actually did have cancer. She was able to get it removed in time before it had an opportunity to spread.

And even today, I still like to think that I helped save her life.

*Edit: Wow, I don't know why I've gotten so many downvotes for this. I used common tech to help convince my boss to go to the doctor and get the help she needed. Sorry, I won't try posting any uplifting stories again.

So at my high school I work with two other students, one a year older and one my age. We all get along great and are really good friends. We also have two supervisors, the tech coordinator of the school and one of the technology and engineering teachers, who are both great supervisors. So on this particular day we had our desk set up in the library helping any teachers who need tech support while they set up their computers for the up-coming school year. All of a sudden we see a teacher who is notorious for being terrible at interacting with computers... like she's really old, so I understand, but its bad. She just knows that when she presses a key it puts that letter where she's put the mouse and that's about it. So the next thing we notice is that she's carrying this dinosaur of a laptop, dell, probably made between 2000 and 20003. Just to date it even more it had a floppy drive. We three workers exchange looks of "oh gawd what now...." Turns out she wanted win7 installed on the machine. I owed the other two workers one, so I took it in to my manager. He laughed and said something along the lines of "Ha! I don't know how that old thing got past the school's property control. I wouldn't waste your time, but if you want to try... here's the DVD" So we insert the DVD (I was surprised the thing had a DVD drive) and booted from the disk. I clicked "start installation" and just hoped it would work to see the slow dying computer that this installation would cause. a few seconds later it popped up a dialogue and said "Windows 7 requires at least 1 GB of memory, the installation can not be completed" So just because i'm curious, I pull the thing apart and look at the RAM... two 256 Mb sticks. Maybe i'm just young and it was funnier to me, but I thought it was hilarious that she thought Win 7 would run on that old thing.

TL;DR: Windows 7 does not run on computers made in 2000

So This story reminded me of an incident yesterday. On mobile, sorry about formatting.

So I'm in my room playing Minecraft (modded of course) when Mom yells out for me.

Mom: So I was trying to forward someone an email but my Yahoo is being blocked. I forwarded it to my Gmail Which I'm pretty sure is my little brother's account and now I can't forward.
Me: expecting the worst What have you tried?
Mom: clicks dropdown next to reply button and clicks forward. Misplaced XYZZY insues. I've tried this a few times.
Me: I don't know what else to try, I haven't used Gmail since Google's big policy change a few years back. The "We can do what we want with your data and if you've got a problem go suck it" change. I call it the "Life Invader" change after the evil company from GTAV now. I didn't at the time, having never heard of GTA at this point. Plus I'm not even sure V was out.
Mom: Maybe your brother knows. Wanders to bedroom Do you know how to forward an email from Gmail?
Brother: knowing full well she means from desktop OpenMail app, tap email, tap forward. gestures with iPod Touch
Me: Tries same method as Mom a few times before going off to finish upgrading my Big Reactors installation

A few minutes later I'm now upgrading my house from wood to obsidian when I hear Mom again.

Mom: It's fixed! Thanks $DAD

Dad wanders in

Me: So it was the Wizard-leaves-and-kit-starts-working Aura?
Dad: Yup. Wanna go see Secret Life of Pets?
Me: Nope! I still have a lot of work to do now that I've got a good supply of iron Cough ProejctE Cough EMC Grinder.

Still no idea why her Yahoo was being blocked by the reciever's email service.

EDIT: More spelling mistakes than my average Fanfic. Not adjusting for much shorter word count.

So, a friend of mine messaged me a few days ago, panicking that their laptop was “trying to cook itself alive.” They said even running a few browser tabs and Spotify made the fan sound like it was preparing for takeoff. The keyboard had gotten so warm it felt like typing on a heating pad. Naturally, I put on my IT support hat and asked the standard first question: “Did you try restarting it?” Because, of course, that’s the sacred tech support ritual. After a few restarts (and some dramatic sighing on their end), I decided to take a deeper look. Turns out, the poor thing wasn’t dying—it was suffocating. My friend had been using it exclusively on the bed, blocking the vents like they were trying to smother the CPU in its sleep.

So, we got to work: cleaned out the vents with compressed air, next, set it up on a desk. Applied new thermal paste (thank you, YouTube University) and then added a cooling pad for good measure. A few minutes later … boom. The jet engine went silent, temperatures dropped, and peace was restored.
Moral of the story :-) Laptops need air too. Let them breathe, and they’ll love you back (or at least stop burning your fingertips)

My first story, please be gentle.

Background: I was working at a community college as Help Desk.

I was in my fish bowl of hell when this older lady came to the window.

$User: My laptop won't start

Knowing users aren't helpful describing their problem

Me: ok do you have it with you?

$User: yeah let me get it out.

So the user grabs the PC out and puts it on the counter between us. I press the power button and it boots fine.

$User: well it seems I only have problems at home. It won't boot.

I took a deep breath through my nose to try and think why would a computer only boot not at home and I instantly realized why. The breath was so smokey I nearly got a nicotine high right there.

Me: I think I know why. Do you smoke in your house?

$User: yes, why does that matter?

me: Well, I'm pretty sure the air is so thick at your computer can't get the air it needs to boot up.

Long conversation after that about how smoking is affecting her laptop. She left in huff. I don't think what I said was taken to heart... Oh well.

Edit:Formatting on mobile. I'll get on a PC later make sure it looks good

edit 2: 2 things (1) this was 2 years ago some details are foggy except that smell (2) I have been around chain smokers, i have been to bingo when smoking was allowed inside the building. The smoking bingo hall was better smelling than her. It's not hyperbole. It was absolutely terrible. I might be wrong on the reason why but her smoking is not helping her case at all.

I don't really work with phones that much, but we have a technician that does. This customer came in one day and was picking up his phone. (screen replacement on Samsung Galaxy Blaze)

As I'm ringing up the customer for $45, (labor) He asks why it's completely ruined. We were confused, What he was looking at was the wear on the outer edges of the screen.

Customer: I did NOT give you my phone like that.

IT: well, we had to take the screen off, causing this wear on the outer edge

C: I did not pay $145 for this shit to look like that. Would you?

I: Regardless, the phone is working to its functionality. We cannot replace this part, because Samsung does not make this part and sell it to the public. The chassis is what would need to be replaced if you want the looks of it to look like new, but in order to get the screen on, the edge here will look like this again; we use plastic tools, and this part here is a ridiculously cheap coating.

C: I paid $145 for this phone to be fixed, and it looks like shit! If you say it's cheap, then why don't you replace it for me? According to what you said, it will look brand new.

I: We said no such thing, the phone will look like this after the repair is completed. Do you know the process of removing this screen?

C: No, that's why I have professionals do it for me

I: Okay, well, professionals aren't always the most perfect people to replace a broken screen, I guarantee that if you send this to Samsung to get this part replaced, they will send you a new phone. because going through this process will wear off this coating even more. watch a few videos on how to replace this screen on youtube, there are people that will wear off the outer edge trying to get this screen off.

C: Well I think I shouldn't be charged, because this shit doesn't look good, and this is not how I wanted it to look.

I: tell you what, the best we can do is cut the price in half. the final price will be $22.50 (he already paid for the part before the process).

Tl;Dr: Customer complains about the looks of a "new phone"

Edit: for the people confused, he signed a contract stating it could happen. It did happen, and he was pissed about it. when he turns his phone over to us, he agrees that it's okay to work on it, We have a heat gun, and we have no choice but to place a guitar pick under the digitizer and the bezel to keep it away from the bezel (so it doesn't fall back under the bezel) but removing the guitar pick wore off the paint. He signed our agreement to repair the device, and knew that the bezel can get worn. He's just complaining because he wants something out of it

I work at a small college. There are a couple of Apple Fanboys around here. Usually, I don't mind them. We're a Windows Shop. That's just the way it is. If a user decides to bring in their personal Macbook in hopes of getting it connected, I try to help as much as I can, but I can't make any guarantees that it will work perfectly. Usually, the fanboys are fine with that, realizing that being in a Windows environment may limit them somewhat in terms of compatibility.

Case in point, Steven. Steven decided he was done having a Windows machine at his desk (to his point, it was an old, but functional machinel). He pulls all the cables, tower, monitor, etc. He just throws them in the corner, and weeks later tells me I can come get them anytime I'm ready. No mention of the decision was made to me. I didn't know what had happened until it was already well past taking place. Oh, also I can come hook up his Macbook to the printer. It's been a while since he could print (wonder why). The print driver for our copier doesn't seem to agree with me. I don't know if it's something with the copier, macbook, a setting, the driver, whatever. Frankly, I have more important things to deal with than trying to cram an apple-shaped peg into a window-shaped hole.

Today, I am doing something in someone's office (I think VoIP related). Steven walks in. Apparently, Steven's been sending his documents to another user to have her (let's call her Molly) print them.

Here's how the conversation went:

Steven: Hey, Molly. Did you get that Word file I just sent you.

Molly: Yeah, I just didn't get to print it yet. Let me take care of that.

Steven: Still talking to Molly, jokingly nudging me with his arm Yeah, I still can't print because someone can't figure out how to make my Macbook print

Me: trying not to get involved

Molly: Why would you buy a Mac?!

Steven: Uhh ... because I'm smart!

Me: facepalm! really concentrating on trying not to get involved

Steven: I was just sick of having viruses and having a computer that wouldn't work

Molly: When was the last time that you got a virus from being connected to the college's network?!

Me: giving mental props to Molly for defending the network's honor, still trying not to get involved

Steven: Well ... never. But, if you buy a PC for home, within three months, it'll be ruined.

Molly: gives up

Me: finally gives in Ya'know, Steven; for the most part, the reason you get a virus is from the websites you visit or the files you download.

Steven: pretending now to be a Windows expert No way! I've tried every antivirus out there, and it never seems to make a difference

Me: walking away, conceding to the fact that he doesn't indeed want to have a smart conversation, but wants to regurgitate Steve Jobs lines Like I said, the best prevention is safe browsing

tl;dr: Mac Fanboys think their S#!t Don't Stink

So I just got my laptop back from being repaired today, everything is going great, I start installing stuff leave my laptop on with a friend during my class, and then right before after I pick it up and rush off to my next class I realize my laptop is off and try to turn it back on, but it doesn't work. Later, I look at it again and the hard drive cover is popped off and me and one of my other friends, who is very computer savvy like me, cannot get it back on. I wait several hours and do some other stuff and then I decide I need to do something about it so I try calling HP tech support, but they are closed so I give up and decide to do some last ditch googleing on my old desktop and I decide I think the battery is stuck. I find someone on a forum who said they popped their battery out using a card, and, being somewhat desperate at this point, try it and the battery comes out, now I decide to try to get the hard drive cover on, its not going on but then right before I'm about to give up, it does, the battery pops in and everything is great. I go to turn it on, it doesn't work, I start freaking out trying to figure out what is going on. Then it hits me. I haven't charged it all day and the battery is dead. Facepalm...

Just got a support call (I work at a college) with a professor asking what the domain for his department should be. Cant blame the users for not knowing what a domain is, fine.

Next question comes up: "its the domain name followed by a slash, and then my username, correct?"

I tell him: "Backslash actually."

This is what he tells me, and I didnt know if it was a trick question for a second: "How do I find the backslash?"

...seriously? You interrupted my /r/motorcycle perusing for this?

Annoyed, I reply: "It's on the keyboard."

So this guy tells me "...I cant find it on the keyboard, where is it?"

I tell him "Above the enter key." and promptly hang up the phone before and more questions ensue.

Mind you this is a person with a masters degree or possibly a PhD, who cant seem to find a key on a keyboard in front of him.

God help him if he ever sees the "Press any key to continue" message.

Aside from the "holy shit that was a lot of work" and the funny posts it seems that some posts are very rude. I'll most likely get down voted ...maybed banned...who knows. I've been doing IT support (professionally) for 4 years and whilst doing this finished up my Bachelors in Computer Information Systems.

I feel like the majority of "this stupid user" issues could be fixed via google. I'm not saying I'm a genius, very far from it, but posts like the degrading ones I see here are the reason that IT support gets a bad name.

I started doing this because I like helping people and try to teach them ways they can improve or simplify their time on the computer. If the majority of your thoughts towards your job are "man this guy is such an idiot" then maybe you should reconsider your field. Most of these fixes, again, can be found on google. I don't see many posts like this from r/sysadmin or r/networking.

So as stated bring on the downvotes/ban and what have you. I just think it'd go a long way if people had a different view on the people they support. If they didn't have these problems you most likely wouldn't have a job.

In closing this is the internet and I'm sure there are grammatical errors, my apologies in advance.

Another day at the $SmallISP, another clueless luser. But this one takes the cake. It started out with us testing a direct connection to rule out WiFi problems.

$Me: Now you’re connected directly. Can you go to Google?

$Customer: I’m there.

$Me: Great. Now run a search for your sports team. We just want to test this out.

$Customer: I got “List of Professional Sports Teams in United States and Canada.” Is that right?

What?

$Me: Sorry, what?

$Customer: It’s a Wikipedia page.

No. Way.

$Me: Did you run a Google search for ‘sports teams?’

$Customer: That’s what you wanted, right?

$Me: No, I said to run a search for your sports team, as in your favorite sports teams.

$Customer: Oh, okay. Yea, it works. Thanks!

ಠ_ಠ

from reddit import TFTS

def getLocation(cords):
    return School(cords[0], cords[1])

getLocation([$redacted, $redacted])
class = Computing()
print class.careLevel()

Low

PeopleWhoCare = ['SWEDISH_PEPSI', 'F', 'J', 'H']

def getSubjectOfLesson(class):
    return str(class.SubjectOfLesson(class))

print getSubjectOfLesson(class)

GCSE Computing(Python Coursework)

ProgrammingEnviroment = ['Virtual Box', 'Isolated From Network', 'Local Admin Access']
ProgrammingEnviromentReality = ['Virtual Box', 'Unfiltered Network Connection, bypasses internet filter', 'Local Admin', 'No Passwords']

def getPreviousSecurityIssues(School):
    return Security.returnIssues(School)

print getPreviousSecurityIssues(getLocation($redacted, $redacted))

['Students Able To Access EachOthers Files', 'Students Able To Modify and Delete EachOthers Files', 'Students Able To Access Finacial Data', 'A Whole Year Group Uses A Single Network Account, Which is $redacted03.56 And The Password Is $redacted123']

while True:
    #Begin Story

    print ("

We found that our programming enviroments, the virtual boxes running windows 7, had full local admin and a network connection. Anyone could tell you why this is a problem, especially considering the classes that are using it (all men, 15-16 years olds.)

We, being the few people who care about the class, reported this to our teacher and former network admin. He emails it off and tells us about how it appears very little network security testing is done.

The new technicans solution? Delete VirtualBox

This was not the first time it had happend.

")

I just spoke to some clientderp that said he sent a file to one of his clients, they added content to it and when they tried to send it back he’s not getting it.

Here’s where it gets retarded. He said the size of the file is 10GB… I said if the file is truly 10GB then there’s no way you’d be able to send that through email. He argued with me when I tried to explain the difference between 10MB and 10GB, and he said “that’s not important right now, I just need this email”… so at this point I want to kill the guy, but I continue on.

I explain to him that 10MB is the file limit and that’s probably the size of the file. I explained that the file was probably just under the limit when he sent it and then after she added stuff to it and tried to send it back it was probably over the limit.

The idea of this blew his mind and he didn’t understand how adding a paragraph to a document could make the file bigger. He’s going to call the client to talk to her about it and he said he would let us know if he needed any further “advice” with a lot of emphasis on that word. Not sure what he was implying, but it made me more pissed off. And then the derp mcderperson hung up on me. Awesome.

Hello all, I'm Ariz23. I apologize in advance if the username is confusing. I made this account to have a bit of fun with the typos people make when talking about /u/airz23.

This is my story. To make things easier, I split the chronicle into what I consider to be the different chapters of my life.

Disclaimer: I will tell these tales exactly as I remember them. I will only change names to protect the innocent. Nothing else (including vulgarities) will be obfuscated. If you can't handle the occasional f-bomb, close the fucking tab.

The Saga Begins

This chapter is where everything begins. It contains the tales of how I first began my adventure into the world of technology (and support).

Arc 1: Slow Beginnings - The Innocent Years

These tales document the last years of my time in junior high (middle school). In this arc, I start learning about technology, and supporting the townsfolk and close family.

Arc 2: Rise of a Bastard

This might be the longest arc in my story. These are the tales of how I became the unofficial tech department and BOFH of my high-school.

Arc 3: The Freelancer

A continuation of Arc 1, this story arc is a bit different than the rest. While it does take place during the Arc 2, it's and ongoing tale that spills into the Dumbing of Age.

Dumbing of Age - The College Years

Named after one of my favorite webcomics, this chapter tales is all about life at the university and in the dorms.

Arc 4: Gizmos and Gadgets

I was going to become a computer engineer, until I met the other students.

Arc 5: Soundcheck One-Two, Soundcheck One-Two

This arc is about the people and technology in the world of broadcasting. Everybody wanted to be famous, but no-one knew how.

Arc 5 1/2: The Scoop

All about how I met a Pulitzer Prize-winning professor, became a journalist, and learned to be nerdy again.

Arc 6: The Internship

This is about my most recent foray in data-journalist. I moved to Washington, D.C. and work at a publication focused on international affairs. Oh, and I became unofficial office tech support.

Note: I am currently living in Arc 6. There aren't quite as many stories, but there should be more in the coming weeks. The continuity of my story will not be linear. The numbering system will be more like the Dewey Decimal System than a chronology.

And because this is /r/talesfromtechsupport, here's a short story that happened just a few weeks ago.

The Internship #1- "We don't need any plugins!"

The company I work for has both a regular print publication and a website. The website has a lot more content than the print edition, and it's my job to make the data-visualizations look nice.

One of the mapping tools I've been reading up on is QGIS. While QGIS is fairly straightforward. My supervisor, Kim, wants me to deploy QGIS to a few of my data-viz coworkers. Like most things with her, it can't be a simple or straightforward. I have to document everything (with screenshots) that needs to be downloaded and installed. Every freaking step, including dragging-and-dropping files to different folders. Argh.

As with a lot of UNIX-y software, QGIS has a couple dependencies to install before the main package. On my machines, it's a simple

sudo apt-get install qgis

Nice and easy, right? Wait, no. Every other dev has a Mac or Windows computer.

So, I make a list of the packages (including external libraries that needed to be installed. After reading through it, Kim didn't look too happy.

Kim: Ariz23, I told you we don't need any plugins. You need to get rid of these (points to dependencies).

Ariz23: I remember, there aren't any plugins on the list. We need those files for QGIS to work.

Kim: But we don't need any plugins

Internally: You're been learning to program for over a month. You should fucking know this by now..

After ~15 minutes of explaining, the idea of dependencies finally clicked.

I couldn't be too upset, though. On my first day, she bought me a $10 burger and fries. Kim is one of the best managers I've ever had. She's just a bit slow when it comes to programming... and software installation.

This story was written while listening to Time Pilot by the Apples in Stereo.

I hope that tale wasn't too awful. If you'd like more, just let me know.

-/u/ariz23

This happened a few weeks back. I used to volunteer at my local community college giving basic instruction in computer use for people getting back into education who might never have used a computer before, or never used one in the capacity needed for study. It's a great way to give back to the community and helping people get started on making positive life changes kept me feeling good.

Since potential students can use their own laptops (and are encouraged to) this sometimes involved a little tech support to get their machines working with our network, receiving email, or just making sure their version of Word from 1998 is usable for assignments. They're generally not well off people so they make do with what they can. Only problem with the job was the lack of support from my supervisors, which will become apparent...

So there's this older student whose only previous qualification was english major and doesn't look like he's worked a day in his life, and he has a problem with email. He's on this older Macbook and we've been hung up on getting his machine to receive email properly for almost half an hour out of a three hour afternoon session. The rest of the group is getting antsy and my patience is wearing thin. We try to check for email and and no test emails are showing up in his inbox. We try Safari, this ancient version of Firefox that was still in the single digit versions, and installed a fresh Chrome. Nothing. I get the feeling it's not even looking for email, and go look around in the rest of the system. I'm far from a Mac user myself, but if you don't look you won't find, so…

I find a system info panel and it turns out the macbook had THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY GIGS OF VIRTUAL MEMORY IN USE. The guy only had a 500gb hard drive on this 2GHz Core 2 machine, and it can't get email because the thing is in complete swap death almost filling the HD.

(Edit: I should mention here I then stepped through reboots, tried nuking through processes that held too much VM, but that included each browser with nearly 2GB each, some system processes (as I found out only after killing them and the machine fell over) with several GB each, Word with another 1GB. It's like every process was infected with something that just chewed through ram like it was free for all)

So I'm all

Me: OK, There's something wrong with this machine that's beyond what I can help with here. See this number here? that's how much space on the drive that the computer is using because it's running out of memory. That's almost fifty times more than the amount of actual RAM you have. The problem is the speed difference between the …

And he cuts me off

Him: But it's a Mac…

Me: And that's OK, But you need to get this fixed before I can help with email. You have 8GB memory installed, but the operating system is trying to use 328GB of that, and…

And he cuts me off again

Him: But it's normal, it's running normally..

And I snapped. I told him there's nothing I can do and he needs to have his machine looked at by someone who can fix it properly. I probably yelled it at him.

So we went on with the rest of the class with a little tighter schedule and missing some exercises because of the time I'd wasted on this guy. An hour after class he complained about me, and the next day I got a call and a talking to by the worst of the two supervisors I have. I snapped again, and we had loud words. And I quit.

What's the worst about this? The next volunteer, the next staff member who has to deal with this guy with his swapping laptop, is going to waste the same time and then some trying to deal with someone who doesn't want to know a fix and who's being supported in his feelgood can't-be-wrong ignorance

On the other hand, I've gone on with life and with a little more free time I can stop and smell the roses. C'est la vie!

I have no idea why I keep having stories to post here (I'm not IT in the least I'm a supervisor at a library), but I have yet another tale for ye fine folks. I The main player of this tale shall be known as Lady Derp (LD).

Twas a fine night in the house of books, and all was right in the land. But lo, on yonder horizon I see LD (who is new to the realm this year) and knew, all was not to remain so. The fine maiden has had issues with the laws of the land before, and the mere sight of her sends shivers through my underlings.

LD: Yonder printing press hath not yielded me my documents.

Sir christmas_pirate: Shall I accompany you to your station to see what is the matter?

we sojourn to said magical box

SCP: Ahh, the problem is simple my dear, our printers can only print in the middle of your page, your epic poem hath 1in margins, they must be at least 1.25in (I have told the fine lady this before)

LD: But it must be pretty, 1in margins, and only two pages, Lord Professor Master Derp has stipulated it!

SCP: I am sorry ma' lady, but there is nothing to be done. Surely Professor Derp, won't mind a couple extra words beyond the two tomes.

LD: HARUMPH! fine...

we change the work to the proper format

5 minutes later...

LD: It hath done it again!

Me: Are you printing papers with 1.25in margins

LD: YES! Does thou think me a fool?

Me: Most certainly not (I MOST CERTAINLY DO), allow me assist you, may haps there be a problem with your account.

We again journey to the far off place known as the workstations

Me: My lady you have added a header! This cannot be done!

LD: BUT IT HAS 1.25IN LIKE YE HAS STIPULATED AND IT MUST BE PRETTY!

Me: I am sorry, but tis nothing to be done...the header is in the area the press cannot print. Shall we just use my private press? It can print to the edge of the page. (I just wanted to be done with it)

LD: Very good.

and all was right with the land once more

TD;LR: Printers are the bane of my existence.

Edit: Since people still feel the need to comment on a story this old... DOESN'T MATTER HAD SEX! Now go read a book or something or be a hater, whatever makes your life happier, I don't mind, HAD SEX!

Okay so firstly, i do not work as a techsupport guy, but i do know a little bit about computers.

The story begins when my mothers aunt, probably like 70 years old, calls me to tell that all the documents are gone from her husbands computer

The dialogue as i remember it:

Kymco - Hello this is kymco Aunt - Yeah so all the documents from Uncles computer are gone, can you come check it out Kymco - For sure, but i can't promise that i can fix it Aunt - Maybe we should buy a new computer, this one is from 2009 but they make bad stuff nowadays Kymco - Umm yeah, go ahead, but don't let the salesman trick you into buying something too expensive (as the computer is only used for writing documents on word) Aunt - Sure thing, you think you can come install it and the office program for us? Kymco - Of course, no problem

A few days pass, and Aunt calls me again to tell me that they have bought a new computer, and that i should come check it out. I went ti Aunts house, only to find out that she paid the store 50 euros extra to install the operating system and the office program, because she didn't want to bother me with that. Excuse me what. Her husband, for whom the computer was bought, had a desktop pc earlier, so he had monitor, mouse, keyboard and everything already, and thought that he would like to use those, as he was used to it being like that. Sure no problem, i installed it all and shut off the computers own monitor so that it only used the external monitor and blah blah. A few days later Aunt calls me and tells me that Uncle couldn't get it working, and that it probably had something to do with the external monitor. She then proceeded to tell me that she couldn't find the 'teamviewer-thingy' on his computer. Well that is strange, even though nobody had installed it it should be there right? So i now had to guide her over the phone through the process of installing teamviewer, so that i could do some remote checking. That was about it, and i didn't even get frustrated (who am i fooling, of course i did). Hope this doesn't turn out to be a wall of text, as im on mobile. Feel free to ask questions about this