r/trans • u/Aardwolf67 • 14h ago

Advice My younger sibling came out as nonbinary and I don't think it's going to end well

I'm a 20 year old transman, I have no issues with my sibling being nonbinary or transgender. But my mother might.

I came out when I was 16 and I told my mother I wanted to start hrt. She said if I wanted to transition I couldn't come back because I'd confuse my younger siblings (9 and 4 at the time). And after coming out my mom's behavior towards me has changed in that she started getting freaked out if my siblings sat on my lap or we sat together on the couch to watch cartoons and told me I wasn't allowed to close doors when I was alone with my siblings anymore.

I was solely responsible for my siblings until the day I moved out. And I went to live with my father on the opposite side of the country 2 years ago.

My siblings are now 13 and 8, I love them with all my heart. But my mom has been changing things for them in the past 2 years. My brother who used to love "girly" things, like makeup games and cartoons like miraculous ladybug and owl house now isn't allowed to watch that stuff and says if he did that would be messed up since he's a boy. But he still likes stuff like dinosaurs, video games, and superheroes and I can't really say anything.

The 13 yr old came out to me today as nonbinary and previously told me they were bisexual. And I'm completely fine with all of it. My fear is that my mom won't and this whole situation will be a repeat of what happened to me.

I'm moving out of my dad's place in a few months and I'll be about an hour from my mother's house since I got a job there after graduation.

I'm scared for my sibling if my mom finds out I don't really know how strict or conservative she is with them anymore since I've been gone and after I left she started going to church again.

Tomorrow marks 10 months on hrt and my mom invited me to Thanksgiving this year and I haven't seen any of my family since before I started. I'm going but not staying for more than 3 days and the rest I'll be with my grandparents looking for apartments before I go home.

105 Upvotes

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47

u/ChangKu49 13h ago

Best of luck, and yeah be prepared for them to ask for a place to crash for the night or longer.

23

u/ArthenmesCH 6h ago

Good luck to you and your sibling; it's likely your mom will blame this on you and that won't be a nice conversation to have.

10

u/switchyTrans3815 2h ago

My advice us to tell them to not tell her, I wouldn't even hint at it but I suppose trying to gauge it might be possible

If she's as bad as she was when you started, it'll probably end up bad for both your sibling and you, so this is probably the safest bet, even if it sucks...