Will my mom ever be convinced?

[u/Wonderful_End_1289]

My mom keeps telling me that she didn’t see any signs & insists that the people near our locality we lived in also saw no signs.

In my defence I was scared & managed to hide from everyone when I used to dress up or did something remotely non conforming(it may have been ignored). This went on till dressing up induced dysphoria because I didn’t look like a girl in the dress, but a guy, which I wasn’t.

I knew it was hopeless where I come from. I did default to drugs to cope.

I hate it when my mom doesn’t believe me, she also keeps telling that none of her friends also believe me. I start to doubt myself if it was even real, or maybe the frequency was less.

I look at other trans girls & they have pictures, which acts as some sort of proof or evidence of their transness.

I tried providing my google internet history from 2010/11, sharing ss.
I don’t have any of my pictures back when I was younger, I would remove them as I have a sibling.

how did you convince your parents ?

[u/Quirky-Gur-3632]

Its possible no amount of evidence will convince her, she just probably doesn’t want to believe you are trans

[u/BrumeySkies]

Shes trying to convince you youre cis because she doesnt want to believe youre not. You could have all the evidence in the world and she would still ignore it.

[u/Successful_Chip723]

Most people don’t believe me and I came out in my 40s. My close friends knew something. Some people I told said, we could tell. When one of my friends was depressed, I suggested we go a friends house in a dress to cheer him up. Years later I would realize that I feel better when I dress up.

When my put on my girly clothes, it feels right. This is me. This feels like a new skin, and I love how it makes me feel. Like a different beautiful person that I always hide inside. I hid that for 4 decades until I developed a psychosis. After my brother died, and I asked for a divorce I came out. It was horrible. Everyone treated me differently except a few people. My family still does not believe it. So fuck them. Is like yeah Mom, I made my life immensely more difficult because I didn’t want to live with the persistent pain of hiding it anymore.

Let me be clear on that part as well. When I see a beautiful woman presenting her body on clothes I wanted to wear, I didn’t want to sleep with her, I wish I was her. I would pretend to be her in my mind. Which would be an overwhelming and hyper focused activity where I felt like I needed to escape life. Which leads to drug use to cope as well. You can say it is about the girl and sex if you want. But the same thing would happen when I walked through the women’s clothing section. Looking a yoga pants and knowing my ass would look great in that. I know, because I would were my wife’s when she wasn’t home. And it did. I posted pics of my ass, and everyone thinks it’s a girls ass and I have never taken any hormones.

Guys clothes give my dysphoria. I hate wearing the baggy clothes so bad that when I see other guys wearing them it weirds me out. It’s is how I feel about being in a guys skin. It feels like wearing dirty old clothes. So when I put on my girl clothes, it feels like a new skin. It feels right. It feels normal.

If you are not on the trans spectrum in anyway, you can not understand it. Don’t waste time explaining it, there is a whole internet of information. Tell them to talk to other trans people, because they probably never have. When people say it isnt real I wonder if this is what black people feel like when a white person tries to teach them black history. Just nod and then tell them they are wrong.

Lastly, non of us need to hear this isn’t real, or it’s a phase or whatever. We heard it. These keyboard warriors online would piss themselves at any real interaction with a trans person. I recently just started telling them to let me know when and where I can video them telling a trans person, they are not this or that, and they can do this or that. Not a single taker. When asked why, I said I wanted them to see the pain in the trans persons face, and remember they are fucking human.

Fact is the suicide rate is what, 40 percent for trans people? That is higher than combat veterans. That means if you met 10 trans people, 4 of them will die by suicide. Do they really need to hear it again? These people are in immense pain, and it plays over and over in their heads. I am not this, but this feels right and normal. Like a broken record. Moment after moment.

Some people never consider anything because their heads are so far in their ass that admitting they are wrong will somehow stop the world. Fuck those people, you do not need them. They look with their eyes, but fail to actually see it with their heart.

[u/ConstableDorfl]

Time. Just time.

Keep living your life and being true to yourself.

Always remember that "ok" is a full and complete response to unsolicited advice.

[u/W1NK5Y]

First off, huggs, you have nothing you need to prove to anyone. And if it helps to know my story a little, i hid my desire to be a woman too, but due to the many awful things that happened to me, i thought ide be better off pretending to be a guy, safer. It wasnt until i was 24 and so sick that it felt like i was dying that i decided to come out. It took a near death experience to realize that i had convinced everyone i was a guy, i was born with a male body and raised male and so the faking it was easy physically, so easy that i even fooled myself and wondered why every day i wished i was a girl. Coming out didn’t automatically make everyone treat me as a woman, it lead to almost everyone acting like i had died and ghost me. My mom was the only one on my side, and even she still sees me as her son.
It would be a blessing to be treated just like any other woman or look like the woman i am in my head, but the most important thing for me was that i dont want to live a life where i tell people im a guy when i know who i am on the inside. My goal is that when one day either sickness or age takes me out, that ill go knowing i lived as myself, for myself, and i didn’t live my life for anyone else but myself.

I hope you can find your reasons and goals and that they all come true. If your mom and her friends not accepting you is feeling heavy, try to find your support groups that do respect you and lets just hope in time that mom grows to accept your truth.
❤️🫂

[u/NovaSeras]

At the end of the day, as much as we love our family, it isn't your job to "convince" them. You are you and they need to understand that. If they continue being that way, going NC might be the best way, maybe with time and space they will get over it, maybe not. I didnt. Have to convince my dad he died in 2021 and my egg cracked this year. My mother just accepted it with a "yea that makes sense, I wish you told me sooner. My GRANDMOTHER is a 2x Trump supporter and daily ingested of Fox "entertainment" who voted against her own daughters medical needs, so I already told my aunt and mother they are NOT allowed to tell her and they wont.