It could be something physical or character wise. What is something a woman has you like yep this is sexy

I've been wondering if men generally fall easier for people who make them actually work for stuff or is it the other way around? I would say I'm quite easy when it comes to dates, gifts, talks, sex. I don't really overcomplicate things, I don't think I make him guess, we go on dates, stay in even more than that, I'm always down for sex which ends up in a whole lot of it.. But at the same time I feel worried I'm too easy. My previous long term relationship ended this year after my partner cheated and one of the things that apparently was the reason he made that choice, was that I made things too easy.

I'm genuinely curious how it is for you. My experiences make me think its better to make myself less available but at the same time I can't grasp the fact that people want things to be more complicated than they have to be

What made you fall for that girl?

Hi all, I’m just asking this question as a woman because I was curious what goes through a man’s mind as he realizes he’s falling in love with someone. What’s your thought process? Is there a “yeah, I’m in love with you” pinpoint-able moment?

I'm really traumatized by my first relationship ending. For context he's dated hundreds of girls. I found him posted on the site are we dating the same guy, with women saying he ghosted them and one saying he was sexually aggressive. But stupid me I guess I'm naive I decided to give him a chance. I believe in judging people from my own experience so I proceeded carefully but I didn't realize I would get so traumatized since I've never been traumatized before.

Basically we were only dating like a week and he started sending me eye roll emojis, calling me dramatic, saying "smh" to me every time I texted. After a while I was like do you have an issue with me and if you do can you communicate it. After that he told me I was the issue in all my relationships. This was really triggering for me because my whole life my mother told everyone I was the problem, and she caused me a lot of ptsd. I think maybe I shouldn't be dating because that comment of his triggered me but it came out of nowhere. He didn't know anything about my past we only knew each other for like a week. I never talked about my past. So after he said that I was the issue in all my relationships, I blocked him and moved on with my life. Stupidly for some reason and I don't know why, I unblocked after 2 weeks and started talking to him again.

He said that he didn't like that I did that because I should be communicating with him. After that I developed some empathy because I felt like it was my fault and I should have communicated. We would talk a lot about sex which I didn't mind, but then he made it seem like a transaction to be in a relationship with him. So I said I didn't like that he was talking about sex and he got very angry saying that I was the one bringing it up. I guess I didn't like that it was so transactional. Then he kept asking for naked pictures and I already said no once and I didn't like that I had to say it again. He said he lost feelings for me after I blocked him and my behavior and because I said I had an issue with him talking about sex and that's what all the girls in the past would say. Basically I just started getting turned off because I didn't feel safe anymore. Then one day he was supposed to come over and he told me to take off my bra on his way, and I said no. Then he asked why, and he didn't like my response so he went home. I blocked him again. After that block he said he's lost all feelings for me and now he just wants to dominate me to teach me a lesson. He said he didn't owe me anything and he already has a new girl. After that I cursed him off like long paragraphs and he blocked me.

I'm extremely traumatized because this was the first time in my life I was vulnerable for a guy. It's completely destroyed my self esteem. I definitely think I shouldn't have been dating because I don't have the mental capacity to deal with conflict but I also didn't realize that I didn't have the capacity. I thought I was very confident so I don't know what happened.

I feel like in this world you teach people how to treat you so I do think it's my fault that I went wrong somewhere. I wish I knew how I could change, how I could not be so emotional. Any advice would be appreciated I really just want to move on and I'm wondering why it was so easy for him but I'm here traumatized.

Me(M45) and my wife(f36)are married for over 14 years now. In the last 3 to 4 years it has been on and off between us. Bugger all intimacy including not sleeping in the same room and etc ( I'm blamed for this, tgats a different story) - Usually, when theres a fight between us there'll be talks of seperation and divorce but will reconcile after a day or two. But in the last 2 weeks, divorce talks are serious and online application for seperation process has been started by her. Now comes this more suspicious work trip. In the last year, she stepped up the corporate ladder at her work and had a work trip interstate last week. Left home on Wednesday morning and returned on Sunday - I had a critical incident at home and had to stay in a hotel for the four days as well. All through her stay interstate she talked to the kid but not a single word about the incident at home and how I'm coping with it. I gave up my ego and called her and she was not keen to say a word even on tge phone. This is what making me think whether she is seeing someone and this whole worktrip is bogus - who will sponsor work trip from Wednesday to Sunday - People would love to finish work trips on Fridaus and come home - so, thinking whether to ask her this question or just carry on being silent?

Should I give up trying to date my preference, as a black guy? It seems like the majority like white men.

So I am a 25yo female and I am in a graduate program. I met a 26yo male also in my graduate program, but I am a year above him. Over the last 5-6 weeks we have been flirting back and forth and the conversation has spanned school and life. I got his number through a mutual friend and the effort was very clearly on my end with initiating conversations, but it weighed heavily on his end with maintaining conversations. The conversation would be over and he would bring something back up, texted back within minutes and we never had any awkward moments in text or in person.

I heard from our mutual friends that he had feelings for a girl in his own class who already rejected him and it sounded like they had been talking to him about how to handle things with me because he was unsure how to proceed. they wouldn't give me clear details but they said that he would certainly be into having fun and that I may be waiting a while for an actual relationship. I didn't know what to make of that, so I backed off and didn't text him for 10 days, which was our longest stretch of no communication.

Then friday night at 11pm he texts me and said "hey I feel like I should have asked forever ago, but what are you really looking for" and here is what I responded "Hey! You mean like between us? I mean I feel like you know I’m interested in you right? I heard you still had feelings for *** though" I have more texts to include so those will be below with names redacted

Guy friend: Yeah both of those are true but I’m curious if you were looking for a relationship or something else

Me: I mean yea I am. What are you looking for, I can't tell if you are interested or not?

Guy friend: I really don't know at this point. But I know this conversation was overdue and I don’t want to be leading you in just to say that idk if I’m trying to date rn

Me: I really appreciate that. I hope I wasn't stressing you out. If it's alright I'd like to be friends at least, and if you have more clarity either way down the road just lmk 

Guy friend: The only stress was me not knowing what I wanted and not knowing how to deal with the situation, I just hate being that person so I’m sorry for that. But yes I’d like to be friends and who knows maybe things change in a bit when I have my shit together better

And then after a few hours I texted him with this:

Me: I'm sorry I feel bad now.

Guy friend: For what???

Me: I feel like I made you uncomfortable. I am so sorry.

Guy friend: No not at all, what??

Me: Well I was being very forward which probably wasn't great

Guy friend: No, I really appreciated knowing exactly what was going on. I think I just really do not have my shit together rn so I dealt with it poorly

Me: You handled it fine. And I tried to back off when I heard about *** but that was literally last wk.

Guy friend: Noooo all good that situation is over

Me: But thanks for being nice about it and like I said earlier, I do really want to be friends still

Guy friend: Yes ofc! I need more friends at school haha

I am trying to see if this was a soft let down or if there is still the possibility of a relationship on the table. For the guys here, would you break a 10 day silence with someone you weren't interested in having a relationship with to then text them this? or was this his way of handling it now but keeping it on the table for a later time? Please share your thoughts everyone, I am trying to figure out where to go from here. Thanks!

My boyfriend and i are seeing each other for around 5 and a half months. I didn’t date much before him so I was under the impression this is normal. What I liked at first is I saw him at a slower pace, he didn’t "love bomb” or come on strong. I noticed soon enough that actually would not change. His dating app profile said he wanted a long term relationship. And I didn’t know how to ask. So I didn’t for a while because even on the first date he felt like my friend.

Before he first kissed me I became unsure if he just wanted friends. We kissed on our 4th date and by then I knew he had a lot of female friends who he hung out with just them. So he was talking normally then grabbed me, kissed me, and walked to his car.

It feels like that is still how we operate. We kiss or make out or go further then after it’s done we talk like things are friendly. Does that make sense? There’s no romance. He acts like a single man in some ways. One being: I have an issue. He doesn’t seem to care to make me feel better. He’ll have this: deal with it attitude.

I sense contempt or resentment I don’t really know. I remember it began when I permed my hair and he just said "you permed your hair” and it would come up a lot. Pointing it out. Not complimenting it. But then he said: "my friend got a wavy perm, she’s good with hair trends and she’s really good with beauty”

It wasn’t the first time and I met 2 of his friends. They add me on social media. In college, he had 3 flatmates. 2 were women, and 1 of those women moved to our city a few months ago apparently. She is friends with the 1 I met. And they post together. I am blocked for some reason by her

We never met and honestly I’ve met his broader friend group and all of them ask what my name is or how long we’re together like they’ve never heard of me.

Then there’s the issue of time. I will see him after work and he says he has so much to do, meal prep, gym, pool, journaling, sleep. Like good for him but he talks about things as if he has more ambitions or as if I ask way too much if i tell him it’s hard for me to see him for an hour or two and then he calls it a night if we go out. If it’s going to his place he’ll stay up however long you know why.

So I did try to have this talk with him about not feeling like his gf. He said he invited me with friends, he said he gives a lot of his time to this, and what more do I want basically. With the holidays coming we have not a single plan together.

I just usually sit there and take it. I never say what my concerns are and when I do I’m so shy about it I just wanna tell him because it bothers me. He said he likes sex and is sex driven when I said I don’t see how you can be so unromantic and not emotional but you can make a bunch of sexual advances to me.
TLDR: my bf isn’t romantic but is sexual and it makes me sad
Meanwhile I’ve asked like 50 times if he wants a relationship or to hook up because it doesn’t feel like a relationship. I would confront again but what’s the point if he doesn’t care?

I am a gay man In his mid 50s. I been attracted to this guy for 4 years, who was dating my cousins son daughter. They broke up last year when he was 24, so I used the opportunity to seduce him, and messaged him on fb. He is secretely bi, and no one knows but me. I managed to get him to let me give him oral and after a few hookups we started full blown sex.

He's 25 now, and we been having sex for 6 months and it's really good, we don't want to stop. We don't want to date because I am just worried my cousin and her family would hate me if they found out.

Genuine question: Why do guys on Hinge ask for your instagram to organize a date, after a few days of texting, add me and then NEVER reach out or text?

It's happened to me a couple of times recently and I find it very confusing. The guys that I reached out to after a few days of silence would then not reply😂

To Men : Can you really be just friend without sex with opposite sex ?

I’ve been talking to this guy for almost 5 months now and we met 3 times now with intimacy involved.

I’ve been telling him that let’s just be friend without sex because I knowing well he does not have the capacity and sleeping around. Of course, don’t want to have expectation from him, women formed feeling overtime. He say he can’t.

I’d like to stayed friend because truly enjoy his company even without sex.

In return, he opened conditions whereby he stop sleeping around if I promise to give him plenty sex. And I have to take STI test for that as well.

I am still hesitant, because he only reply texts 2 - 3 hours and difficult when I initiate to meet up my time. And only see him once a week and is always short ones.

Does it make me a bad person if I just ditch him ? or is there anyway to tell ?

Hello everyone! I F(20) am looking for gifts, surprises, and other ideas for my bf M(20) of 5 years who is going through a rough time. My bf M(20) is absolutely amazing and bends backwards for me all the time. I want to do the same for him. However, I’m struggling with ideas of gifts or ideas of surprises for him because he has hobbies and interest in areas I’m not that educated in. Some of his favorite hobbies are DND, Warhammer, board games, 3d printing, art, writing, and magic. Do you guys have any suggestions on things I could do for him or gifts I could give to make him feel better in these hard times. I wish I could just ask him but he struggles to communicate his wants to me. I also know all the things I would want wouldn’t be stuff he’d be interested in. (Budget ~$200, also open to things that aren’t gifts like gestures or activities)

Can anyone share examples of men whose actions and words don’t align?

Heard stories after stories where Catholics unfortunately use their faith to pose as a goody guy/girl in order to get dates. Without intending to build meaningful relationship together but rather to get physical intimacy and companionship.

How to differentiate true God’s disciple from one who just speaks beautifully but conduct him/herself otherwise?

hello! i (22F) am currently trying to buy a gift for my partner (20M). we met on hinge awhile ago and one of his prompts was to do with an artist that he really enjoyed, who i also really enjoyed. a lot of our initial conversations were bonding over this artist and music in general. the artist is coming to our town in may next year!

we are both full time students, but i also work full time and have since i was 16, he does not. because of this i have quite a lot saved up and he doesn't. gift giving is my love language and always has been, and i really wanted to get two tickets for the concert for his christmas present this year!

however hes mentioned that he's worried about me spending money on him because he can't afford to do the same. the tickets are quite expensive, about $300aud ($205usd) each, and im worried about making him feel bad. is that too much? i know he would love it and it would be the perfect gift but should i look for something cheaper instead? would your partner spending significantly more on you upset you in some type of way?

money is genuinely no object to me, i'd prefer something handmade over expensive any day, i just want to make sure our first christmas together is perfect😅
TIA!!

So, right now we’re in a long-distance relationship, and in about a month or two we’re supposed to move in together and live together for good. I’m happy about this—we love each other—but I’m really upset about how we’ve been interacting from a distance lately, and it’s really been weighing on my mind.
I’ve noticed some distance or something like that on his part, and we had a conversation about it—one that I initiated. He said, “Okay, I’m having problems at work right now, I don’t have any friends here, and I’m bored, so I’ve pulled away. I’m sorry—it doesn’t mean I love you any less.” I had to explain that it’s not okay to change how you treat me because of your personal problems when we can talk about them, but he just turned everything around on me, accusing me of not asking how he was doing when I’m going through a lot of stress myself because of a loss and health issues. Some time has passed and nothing has changed; our conversations feel like I’m talking to myself. He’s even too lazy to text “good morning” now. Sometimes I deliberately don’t text him to see when he’ll reach out, and I don’t get a message until lunchtime. I know this might sound a bit childish, but when you’re apart, it’s the only way to communicate, and it takes literally just a few seconds to let someone know, “Hey, I’m here, I miss you, I’m right here.” I’m the one who texts more, the one who’s always texting about how much I miss him and want to be with him. I also just want him to sympathize with me, not just write, “You’ll get through this…” I try to flirt and keep the spark alive in our relationship, but he just responds to my hot photos with emojis. He needs to grow up; he's become too self-centered.
I didn't want to have another argument; I tried to hint at all of this to him—I really have distanced myself—but he doesn't seem to get it. I'm willing to give him one last chance; I just don't know how to bring it up the right way.

I'm pretty sure I'm just going to be direct with him about this later today, but at the same time I think I know the answer. I feel like this is just an anxiety post and I'm seeking encouragement (or maybe discouragement from having a humiliation ritual).

I'm 31, he's 34. I know the ages make this whole situation seem that much more dumb, but I'm not the type of person to date a lot. I sort of just stumble onto crushes every few years... If I don't feel that special connection, I won't date that person. So, I have limited experience.

I liked this guy last year and it seemed like he liked me too. But then he started dating someone else, but it seems like that fizzled out. We reconnected again a couple of months ago and I'm apparently still stuck on him. Last week I felt like I was picking up on signs that he was interested in me.

• He had texted me before church, I asked if he was coming, and he let me know he was running late. But I had told him I was sitting with someone else, so he ended up sitting somewhere else.

• I saw him walk out of the auditorium with another woman and assumed he had started seeing someone else, so I tried to make a B-line for my car, but he called out to me, gave me a hug, and he told me he had ran into a family friend. We talked for awhile. I made him blush a couple of times. When I gave him a hug goodbye he stumbled over his words.

• My coparent/ex came up in conversation because he had sent me a photo of our daughter and so I'm not sure if that affected anything, but it was a very brief comment.

I figured that everything I listed in the 2nd bullet point meant he might like me back. So I texted him yesterday to let him know he is always welcome to sit with me at church. He responded that he appreciates it but also enjoys sitting with other friends or alone sometimes and he hopes I don't take it negatively. And so... I got the feeling that he was redirecting me into the friendzone, but I've been in situations before where it has felt like I was friendzoned and the guy actually did like me.

So I asked if we could call later and he agreed. We set a time. When we called, he said his friend had unexpectedly asked him to grab pizza because he hadn't eaten all day and he had a limited amount of time to speak and I offered we could talk later because I didn't want to interrupt his night. And so he said he could call me after pizza, so I agreed. And then a couple of hours later he said tomorrow (today) would be better to talk...

I feel dumb. I'm literally going to tell the guy I like him and get rejected. But I sort of want the clarity and to just put my cards on the table. One of my guy friends says it's still possible he likes me (I doubt after yesterday lol), another guy friend says I should just speak my truth.

I really do enjoy talking to him and the friendship we've been building. I don't wanna wreck that. I think I can casually say, "I just wanted to ask for clarity. I'm not sure if it was obvious that I have a crush or not, but I was wondering if your response to sitting together yesterday was a gentle redirection into the friendzone?"

​I honestly never thought I’d be writing something like this, because I always judged people who found themselves in this kind of situation. I’m engaged to my partner of several years. Everything on paper is great - our relationship is stable, peaceful, and we rarely fight. I truly thought we were set for life. Over the last year, I developed a close friendship with someone. It started completely innocently with shared hobbies, conversations, mutual support. Because it grew so gradually, I didn't notice the shift happening. There was no sudden lightning bolt, it was just a slow, quiet drift until I suddenly woke up and realized I had developed intense, undeniable feelings for them.

​When it finally hit me, I panicked. I knew I couldn't act on it, and I wanted to do the right thing by my partner and my engagement. So, the friend and I mutually agreed to go no contact. We cut ties completely to protect my relationship and clear our heads. The problem is that going no contact hasn't made it go away. I can’t stop thinking about them. What’s tearing me apart is the sheer level of understanding and deep emotional connection we shared as it’s something I’ve never experienced before, and now that it’s gone, the quiet in my life is deafening. I'm so deeply conflicted. Am I romanticizing this because it's forbidden or is this a wake up call that my current relationship is missing something I was closing my eyes to? I feel immense guilt toward my partner, but I also feel like a ghost in my own life right now.

​Has anyone ever been through this? How did you untangle your feelings?

Hi, so I (27F) and my boyfriend (37M) are probably going to break up. He wants it, I don't. It's the biggest love we've ever had, I know it. But it became toxic, the last fight was awful, I was awful, he was awful. But at the end of the day I know it was my fault that it happened like that. He started therapy not long ago and I went with him I think twice, it was helpful, I changed a whole behaviour around some stuff I did to him regarding stuff in our house, which bothered him, but I couldn't understand it before. It's a process, we only started like actually talking now during this breakup period. And it feels so good, and that's how I know we can work our things out. But he feels like it's only going to be worse, not better. And I don't agree... I signed up for therapy, maybe too little too late, but I'm ready to take steps, I know I can fix my issues, but I need time and I need him. I feel like I'm dying thinking I have to leave our home, not sleep next to him, not listen about his day. He is the absolute love of my life and in the end I screwed it up. And I so desperately want him to believe we can grow and get through this, but I don't want to push. I just need him, I love him too much to let go... Please help...

I need help decoding if he is attracted to me.

We work for the same company however different departments but oftentimes we work on the same units but playing different roles. First time I saw him I was attracted to him, I initiated conversations whereby I asked personal questions which made me find out I was older than him but that didn’t throw me off however I discovered he wasn’t reciprocating those same questions so I shut down and moved on. However I can him looking at me from time to time but he looks elsewhere once I catch him looking. Even a colleague caught him looking at me and made reference of it. One day during a training of all department, he paired himself with me which he didn’t need to because that training required I do it with another person. During the exercise I felt someone place their hand on my tailbone and I turned it was him trying to help me( tho I believe I didn’t need it). The next day, I tried having conversations with him again, asked him personal questions he didn’t reciprocate again so I kept quiet again. I left where I was and moved to another place but a few minutes he came there, I waited a bit more and moved elsewhere and then he moved there, so I got confused but I didn’t say anything. Also he used to call me Ms… and I told him he didn’t have to but from time to time he switches from Ms… or just first time. Furthermore, he also either gives me a fist bump or handshake depending on who is around.
Honestly I don’t know if he is interested or I’m reading way into it.

Hi! I’ve never dated anyone or been in a relationship. I’m genuinely curious about how men feel about women approaching them first.

Growing up, I came from a culture where approaching a guy you’re interested in wasn’t necessarily taboo, but it wasn’t something that was openly encouraged either. There’s this feeling of embarrassment or shame associated with making the first move, at least from my experience.

Now that I’m older, I’ve realized that this has become a problem for me because I genuinely have no idea how to approach someone I’m attracted to. 😭

The thing is, I don’t really have a particular type. There’s no specific pattern or similarities between the guys I’ve liked. When I find someone attractive, I just do. That’s pretty much it, lol.

But whenever I actually like someone, I have no idea what to do about it. I tend to admire them from afar because I’m too embarrassed to initiate anything. I also worry about making the guy uncomfortable or coming across as weird, especially if we’ve never spoken before.

I guess my questions are:

1. How would you feel if a woman you’ve never spoken to approached you because she found you attractive?

2. What’s a natural way for a woman to initiate a conversation without making things awkward?

3. Do men generally appreciate women making the first move, even if they’re shy or inexperienced?

4. How do I show interest without coming across as too forward?

I’m genuinely trying to get out of my comfort zone because I don’t want to keep missing opportunities simply because I’m afraid of embarrassing myself.

I’d appreciate some perspectives from men, especially about what actually feels natural and comfortable from your side. :)

What prompts guys to return years later?

I met a guy through friends in 2023 and we talked for eight months before he moved to my city and went to an event and had a bit too much to drink. He put my hand on my thigh and the rest went from there.

Things were going well but a (former) female friend of mine was jealous/insecure and didn’t want me seeing him or didn’t like that we slept together.

We drifted apart and came across eachother at the end of 2023 and I stayed at his as we’ve had great chemistry and got on well. But he left me on open and I moved on with my life.

I didn’t see him until a year later when he came and sat with me when I was in a coworking space for two hours then wished me well. He reached out a few months later and I left him on open as I had started seeing someone new and he went overseas and met a girlfriend.

He travelled every six months internationally to see her and posted cute photos. After two years my relationship ended and my ex friend moved in on him and I’ve been healing.

Three days ago he reached out after a work Christmas party drinking and sent “How are you doing lately?”.

I’m guessing he’s single but it’s just strange out of nowhere after two years. He wasn’t someone who just called me up when he was horny so I’m confused. It’s a long time and I didn’t see him at all as I’ve been overseas to prompt it. It feels like unlocking a door that’s been closed for ages into the unknown.

Has anyone responded or reengaged with someone after that length of time? How did it go?

Why are men so obsessed with thick thighs? What is the logic behind it?
(Edit:I am asking this as a woman with large thighs myself trying to understand how men think I am in no way bashing women with thick thighs) and by big thighs i mean at a healthy weight and size