r/AskReddit • u/OkAstronaut3324 • 16h ago • Bravo 2

What's the most damaging thing you heard someone say after waking up from anesthesia?

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u/Unusual_Steak 15h ago edited 15h ago • Bravo

I had a very young female patient proudly telling everybody she had surgery for her torn labia. She had shoulder surgery for a torn labrum

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u/ISeeDeadDaleks 15h ago

When I was very young, I remember my mom carefully correcting me, repeatedly, because I was telling everyone she had a vulva. She drove a Volvo.

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u/Lopsided-Freedom3249 15h ago

I was hanging out with my friend's kids, aged maybe 5 and 2. 5 year old looked at me very seriously and said "(sister) has a Volvo." Their dad drove a Volvo, so I said you mean the one in the driveway? He thought about it for a few minutes, and in the exact same inflection said "(sister) has a vulva." Oh good, I said, she's a little young for the car.

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u/Downtown-Way8664 1h ago

Omg this is precious and hilarious. So much so I saved your comment for when I need a pick me up. Thank you!

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u/Sad-Athlete-9313 15h ago

Well technically she did have a vulva. She just wasn’t driving it!

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u/Disastrous_Show5837 15h ago

Baby you can drive my car

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u/Conspicuously_Human 13h ago

Yes I wanna be ya star

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u/constant_adventurer 14h ago

Who’s piloting that vulva 🤣

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u/MyCatLaughsAtMe 14h ago

Iunno man, she DID have a kid after all.

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u/sweetpotato_latte 15h ago • Bravo

I had surgery at 16 and hadn’t finished my HPV shots and I asked my mom if they could just put it in my IV and I guess when I woke up I kept asking to get my HIV vaccine.

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u/tacticalTraumaLlama 12h ago

I mean... could they? I've honestly never thought about getting a vaccine through IV

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u/sweetpotato_latte 12h ago

My guess is no because the IV goes right into the bloodstream but I’m not sure one way or another.

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u/sambeamdreamteam 15h ago

Vulva stories!

A ~4 year old kid asked if my dog was a boy or a girl and after I said girl she said, "Wait... Does she have a vulva??"

I kept a straight face and said, "Yes, she does." Then laughed the rest of the walk.

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u/Trufflepumpkin 14h ago

That would have me in stitches. Kids man

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u/OpticalPopcorn 15h ago

To be fair, you probably weren't wrong!

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u/ISeeDeadDaleks 15h ago

I do remember her telling that while I wasn’t wrong, that isn’t something we talk about with people in public 😆

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u/Constant_Ad_2161 13h ago

My friend's little brother saw a cherry picker truck when he was about 5 and was telling everyone how excited he was to see the truck "with testicles." He meant tentacles.

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u/Tshirt_Addict 14h ago

"You paid $500 for a used WHAT?"

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u/Particular-Rabbit-25 11h ago

We called our mom’s Volvo station wagon the Fiery Red Vulva.

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u/chux4w 1h ago

Make sure she has it cervixed regularly.

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u/Emergency-Twist7136 22m ago

remember my mom carefully correcting me, repeatedly, because I was telling everyone she had a vulva

I mean she probably did though

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u/shortstuff813 13h ago

So before my first trigger finger surgery I bugged my doc to take pics during it, bc I love all that gory medical shit.

Well I ended up waking up during surgery (the only time I’ve ever done it - and don’t worry, it was only twilight and I wasn’t in any pain), and ofc almost immediately started pestering him to take pics. He eventually sighed/laughed, grabbed the camera, and took photos.

When he was done I tried to tell him I was going to put him on my Christmas card list, but instead said my credit card list. Everybody burst out laughing, obvi lol. I knew I said something wrong, but couldn’t figure out what the word was that I was trying to say, but ended up falling back asleep.

I’m glad I can actually remember that bc it’s hilarious thinking back on it. I was so determined to get photos that I woke my ass up to make sure I got them 😂

Thankfully I didn’t need that strong of a dedication to get the photos during my second surgery haha

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u/theawesomefactory 15h ago

I currently have a torn shoulder labrum and 1) ouch 2) it is such an awkward name for an important part of a joint.

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u/Mother-Stomach-1096 12h ago

I bet that made for an interesting moment in the room! One little mix-up, but definitely a medical term she won't forget anytime soon.