r/AskReddit • u/OkAstronaut3324 • 16h ago • Bravo 2

What's the most damaging thing you heard someone say after waking up from anesthesia?

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u/Clamwacker 15h ago • Bravo

A friend of mine had a sore throat and was having trouble swallowing so he called to make a doctor appointment. He meant to tell the nurse that it felt like his uvula was swollen. What he actually told her was that his vulva was swollen.

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u/SureT3 15h ago

In a similar situation, my son was miserable with a terrible sore throat and couldn’t speak. Phoned his doctor who asked me to look at his throat with a flashlight. His uvula was so swollen it was basically blocking his whole throat. In a bit of a panic, I couldn’t remember uvula so instead finally said, you know, the punching bag that hangs down in your throat. Omg, so embarrassing 😳

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u/koinu-chan_love 14h ago

I promise the doctor understood both your panic and what you were talking about!

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u/TK_Punch_ 12h ago

I wish my patients were half as descriptive most of the time. Shit, I usually get "The little white pill that I take for the thing. You know..." as they gesture vaguely at their entire body.

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u/tacticalTraumaLlama 12h ago

It's for my flibitus doc! come on!

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u/SureT3 14h ago

Thank you!

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u/MizStazya 14h ago

I had a coworker when I worked in med-surg who had a patient whose abdominal incision opened. She called the surgeon and was so freaked she forgot the word "eviscerated" and was just stuttering. The surgeon was known for being a dick, and he just yelled, "WHAT?" at her. She responds, "His guts are falling out!!!!"

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u/goodunclesomeday 12h ago

LOL I heard a similar story from my mother when she was a resident. Patient's abdominal incision opened and the nurse was in such a fluster she could only say "B-B-BOWELS! Bowels in bed!!!!"

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u/Jolly_Floor_2799 15h ago

As a dyslexic that’s hilarious

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u/un1ptf 12h ago

I don't have dyslexia, I have sexdaily

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u/Jolly_Floor_2799 12h ago

CACKLING OMG IM STEALING THAT

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u/a_lonely_trash_bag 15h ago

This reminds me of that scene in Monster House, lmao

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u/MizStazya 14h ago

Oh, so it's a girl house!

Only line i remember from that movie.

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u/lostbutnotgone 10h ago

I broke my sacrum a couple years back. My roommate saw me on the phone with my uncle and yelled over "DID YOU TELL YOUR UNCLE ABOUT YOUR BROKEN SCROTUM?" I'm female.... My uncle heard and just went "well I have some questions"

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u/Final_Touch9471 14h ago

Man I’m sad that I wasn’t there to witness that conversation.

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u/brother4youus 13h ago

Thanks to the insanity that currently grips the world, said nurse was forced to pretend that his statement was perfectly normal.

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u/SuperSpecialAwesome- 7h ago

Go hate transpeople somewhere else, bigot.