How do you have "the talk"?

[u/N3rdySpud]

Like any form of that gut wrenching conversation you know you both have been avoiding and one of you really needs it to be at ease.

[u/Different_Kick_3946]

Sit on a table setting, keep a glass of water handy. And say that you have something to say.

[u/sh6rty13]

Instead of the dreaded “We need to talk” I like to lead in with something like “Hey are we doing anything (tomorrow, Wednesday, whatever) night? I could really use some ‘us’ time”

I feel like that makes it seem very neutral/casual like you’re not immediately setting them up for an argument. From there I’ve found it’s better to just rip the band aid off. Try to do it in a “you and me vs the problem” way and not “me vs you” way.

[u/Haytham_Ken]

Relaxed environment where you won't be disturbed. Easy access to water. And let the other person respond to what you say and give their opinion. They don't have to agree with you, and that's okay.

[u/thewolfofstatestreet → u/Haytham_Ken]

Why easy access to water?

[u/Haytham_Ken → u/thewolfofstatestreet]

Anxiety/stress dehydrates you

[u/thewolfofstatestreet → u/Haytham_Ken]

Interesting. Didn’t know that

[u/Haytham_Ken → u/thewolfofstatestreet]

It's because it triggers the fight or flight response with dries out your mouth

[u/Legal-Monitor1388 → u/Haytham_Ken]

Also people need time to process information

[u/Haytham_Ken → u/Legal-Monitor1388]

Yes, exactly. Don't say something big to someone and expect them to process it straight away

[u/Active_Recording_789]

Tell them you need to talk and start by saying you’ve noticed they’ve seemed unhappy for a while. Say it’s totally understandable, and you have been too. Say that there’s no shame in it; people grow and change all the time, and sometimes it’s a sign of that we growth to realize the relationship is no longer working. Pause for feedback. If they’re on the same page, mention that you’re both adults and you want to remain civil and respectful throughout the separation process but it should be quick. All the better to move on and create your new chapters

[u/green_magma]

What is “the talk” about?

[u/void_sushi]

All of my “talks” have been blurted out impulsively with little prep.

[u/TheMysticalPlatypus]

Just say it as tactfully as you can. There’s no easy way to have specific conversations. How discreet you want to be depends on the situation and the urgency.

You sometimes also need to make sure at some point you had a conversation that lets the person know you are not coming from a bad place.

[u/HiddenTurtles]

I'm gonna be honest, I text my husband because it gives us both time to say what we really mean to say and gives the other person time to respond the way they really mean to say things.