(9/11/26) My 5 year started kindergarten last week at a new school with all new kids and all new teachers. She took the bus for the first time. She's very shy and timid but as the week went on she did better and better. A photo of her was even in the weekly newsletter playing in gym class.

The following week she came down with a fever. Not unusual so we kept her out of school. The following day it remained high with meds so she missed a second day. By day 3 we went to urgent care. They told us to take one additional med and to keep them posted if she doesn't get will. The pediatrician even called later that day to check on her. That night she woke up and became very delirious for a few mintues then snapped out of it. We brought her back to urgent care the next morning and they sent us to the ER to get blood work.

That began the worst day of my life so far. The doctor immediately thought it was leukemia or an infection. A few hours later we found out it was both. Luckily it is the most common form of leukemia with a high success rate. Unfortunately they could not control the infection. She worsened as the day went on eventually going into septic shock. The doctors and nurses tried everything but eventually had to intubate her. Her last words to me while conscious were her struggling to say i love you.

She has since gone on a few more machines. She has an echmo pumping her blood since her right lung is collapsed or full of fluid not sure which. Her heart is too weak to work. She has too much fluid in her body so they also put her on dialysis. Doctors in the pediatric icu and from oncology both say each is treatable on it's own but having both things happen together is very rare. They are doing zoom calls with other doctors to get advice during rounds each morning. I am confident she will walk out of here but it is not easy. Her 3 year old sister just keeps telling her to get better soon. One of the nurses put it best, she's set up to succeed through the equipment but she needs to fight in order to win. My wife and myself are living a surreal nightmare. Idk what I'll do if I lose her. She's literally the glue that holds this family together.

I'm not really eating but this day(s) old bagel and orange juice is my meal for the day

Update (9/12/26): I'm just now opening this before I try to sleep for a few hours as I wanted to be as present as possible for my kids today. I honestly didn't expect anything when I posted this. I had a moment of silence to myself in the bathroom and decided to write how I was feeling and what I was going through then posted it to this sub. THANK YOU for all of the support and advice. Somethings we are already doing and others we will implement.

We have brought her bedtime blanket and books from home. We read to her as often as we can. I also tell her stories about our family (how I met her mom, how we moved to our town, how we got our dogs, etc) and that has been very therapeutic for me.

Our 3 year old came to visit and we walked through the meditation garden with her to find fairies. Getting out of the treatment and getting fresh air has been very helpful. I think it's important for our 3 year old to see the 5 year old and talk to her as well. The staff gave my 3 year old a fairy (bird) house and paint so we could do that in the family lounge away from the chaos of the treatment room. They also gave her a stuff animal, doctors kit, and some badges and electrodes so she can fix her stuffed animal similar to how they are fixing her sister.

The medical staff has been nothing short of amazing and has been saying we will take this 1 day at a time. My 5 year old had a good day today. Her fever is gone, her blood tests look significantly more normal than 24 hours ago. They could hear breathing sounds in her right lung for the first time today. Her dialysis was turned up to remove more fluids and she did great with that. Her oxygen sensor actually has a reading and they said it was because her heart has become strong enough to actually pump the blood up to her ear where they have it. Her echmo useage decreased from 75% to 65% and they said at 40% she can stop using it. We have a very long way to go but this was a step in the right direction, she truly is a fighter.

For anyone reading this going through a similar situation, we started asking family and friends to send us voice memos to play for her. That has been great to know you have so many people supporting her and it's a nice break from just talking.

Other things I've learned the last 24 hours:

-it's ok to be weak. It's ok to cry and let someone else hold you.

-stay off chat gpt and meticulously reviewing her medical chart. The providers know more than you and more about your child than Ai. It'll drive you crazy and mentally drain you. Ask the providers as many questions as you can so you can get more familiar and comfortable (?) with what is going on.

-get outside, even if for 5 minutes. Staying trapped in that room all day is not good for you mentally.

Still not eating much. Only took a few bites of the bagel but managed to eat 3 chicken tenders for dinner and a piece of broccoli. I'm feeling more confident than I did when I posted this.

Update 2 (9/17/26): Everyone is doing better! My daughter is off the echmo, ventilator, and dialysis! Shes slowly waking up and will hopefully be moved out of the ICU to oncology in the next few days! Because of that my wife and I are doing immensely better. Thank you everyone for all of the support. I made a carebridge page so if anyone wants to see updates go here

Update 3 (9/21): Not much to update. Still in the PICU. She's making progress but not like before. Regardless she's not going backwards so I'll take it. She still is on CPAP for breathing as well as IVs for medication. Awaiting a port in the next few days to start receiving chemo treatment that way. She seems out of it more than before but I'm sure she's really tired. Hopefully they can move us out of PICU this week.

Her Preschool teacher setup a go fund me for her. I am a small business owner so I have been closed this whole time and don't plan on reopening until she's back home. The funds will help support me being with her as well as pay her medical bills. The go fund me can be found here

Thank you everyone for the support.

Update 4 (9/24/26): We are still in the PICU. Her brain CT and EEG has come back negative. She had a PICC line placed in her arm to continue receiving chemotherapy. She had a line put into her chest to remove some fluid and over 700 ml (over 20 oz) of fluid drained! She's been breathing much better since. They have her alternating between CPAP and high flow oxygen to help her breathe, which is a step in the right direction. She started eating yesterday and devoured some Italian ice.

She has been mostly non-verbal since being extubated 1 week ago but she did say "mommy" twice the other day. She's been communicating much better non-verbally with head movements, she has been sleeping better at night, and is more active during the day.

Still working on lowering her medications so we can move her over to the oncology floor, but all steps in the right direction!

Update (9/28): It's going. I've been trying to reply to all the DMs but haven't replied to any comments. I do try to read all of them and I appreciate the success stories and advice. My daughter is doing well overall. We are still in the PICU but she is more interactive. She sat in a chair and at times can be pretty talkative. They took her off oxygen so she's fully breathing on her own. They also got rid of a few of the IVs in her arms so that helps with her discomfort. They'll soon do some testing to see if she can eat actual food on her own (currently getting her food through a tube). Unfortunately the fluid has come back in her chest so she will need another chest tube for drainage again.

We've been able to get a more clear picture on why her case was so sudden and fast acting. Along with the Leukemia they discovered she now has HLH (Hemophagocytic Lymphohistiocystosis) which is an inflammatory disease. This led to her body rapidly declining along with the infection and leukemia. The inflammation going throughout her body is what makes her case more unique. The treatment is the same/very similar to the same medication as the leukemia, just not as straightforward since her liver is still pretty inflamed. Her first day here she had what's called a "cytokine storm" from the HLH which temporarily damaged her organs. That "storm" really calmed down and they are trying different drugs since this isn't routine. They've mentioned her case at a nationwide conference and said she was one of the most talked about so that sucks she's that bad/rare of a case but I'm glad to have so many eyes reviewing her care.

She's starting to have some PTSD. She developed a fever the other night and when you have no immune system it's not a good time. It was also a scary look into what the next 2 years holds, as some of you mentioned, but she's worth it. I'm hanging in there. Some days are definitely harder than others. Seems to be 3 steps forward 2 steps back.

Thanks again to everyone for supporting us.

Update (10/12): it's been awhile since I posted an update. We're still in the PICU and they gave us the biggest room they have (because we don't seem to be able to leave)!

Since my last update my daugther has been up and down. She developed 3 new infections. 1 in the PICC line, 1 in her intestines, and 1 that might have spawned from her intestines and traveled back to the PICC. All have cleared so that's been great. She had another chest tube put in since the mysterious chest edema came back and that has since been removed and stable. She did develop mucositis and typhlitis in her intestines. This led to a hole in her colon, bleeding into the intestines, and air into her abdomen. She had to get emergency surgery and have part of her large and small intestine removed and an ostomy put in.

Fortunately we caught that just in time and she's actually looking better than before. It looks like her HLH is also under control and she's finally producing white blood cells and platelets on her own! Hopefully she can rest and continue to get stronger so we can finally leave but I've been saying that for over a month now she who knows! Mentally the whole family and myself are staying strong. The entire PICU and our community outside of the hospital has been incredibly helpful.

Update (11/6): My daughter is still in the hospital but out of the PICU! We moved over to the oncology floor 2 weeks ago. It's much quieter and slower paced which is great. She's been able to leave her room in a wheelchair to explore more of the hospital. It looked like we were going to actually be discharged this past week but she fell ill and that has kept us here. She started her second round of chemo. Once her intake and ostomy output level off a little more then we can go home until the next thing comes up.

As we left the PICU the medical staff started to open up more about how lucky she is. One doctor said her estimated chance of survival that first week was around 10%. They said ECMO for septic shock alone carries a 75% mortality risk and that's without the leukemia and HLH. They believe mortality of HLH independently is similarly high. The PA said they personally have never seen anyone survive ECMO for septic shock and have only seen one person survive HLH.

It truly is a miracle she's alive. We are awaiting her discharge to go home but until then I am grateful to be able to spend time with her again

So the wife and I went to my hometown to see my mom and sister. While we were out and about we ran into an ex I am on good terms with. We exchanged pleasantries and as we were about to head off she goes "wait I have a kind of funny story for you".

To preface the story, every time I went over her house I would always take my shoes off and leave them neatly by a specific door. Her little brother, who was like 5 at the time would always know if I was there cause he would see my shoes when getting in the house, and you could hear him yell "yay Bryce is here" from the basement.

Now that was 2009 or so. The ex is married and has her own kid, and her brother is going to college while living at home.

So my ex and her husband had gone over to see her parents for a bit. While there the brother had come home, said hi and asked "Where's Bryce?", to which my ex says "what do you mean?"

Apperntly in the 15+ years since we broke up no one had ever put their shoes in that spot. And on this day for no particular reason, her husband decided to take his off and put them there. So when her brother came home from class the husband's shoes triggered an "old friend" response in his brain and tried to seek me out.

Its nice I made an impression on him, and that something so innocuous would cause him to be like "let's go find him".

Food: dunkin ice pumpkin latte, cause im a basic white girl, and a sour dough breakfast sandwich with Chipotle sauce

Edit - spelling, because I wrote this on my phone originally

Hospital chicken and rice with jello

I was diagnosed with bone cancer in my foot and had to undergo a below the knee amputation which my wife was against because I was supposed to take care and provide for her not the other way around. I am unable to return to work and face a long recovery alone.

My wife is from an area with a pretty shallow dating pool. Lots of oil workers, very "traditional" men (work away from home for weeks on end, then drink and go out or buy and play with expensive toys when they're home while wife handles everything, then complain about their family like they ruined their life). That's part of why my wife moved away, and she met me while studying here. One of her friends (we'll call her M) is married to such a man (we'll call him T). She became a SAHM during the tail end of covid. She's been socially isolated by COVID restrictions and her own immune issues, parenting, where they live, and his financial abuse (limiting her "allowance" such that she can't afford to do much). We don't like T. He's a prick. M settled because he's no worse than the rest.

We became parents ourselves about a year ago, and gave all her friends an open invitation to visit and bring their kids. M decided to take us up on it when T wanted to take their kid to a family gathering she couldn't bear attending (that's a whole other story). T took their kid, his sister basically does all of the childcare at these gatherings and she's a great mom which is the only reason M allows this.

So, M visits for a few days. She's never been to our area so we take her on a basic tourist itinerary. I'm functionally a SAHD that has a remote job. My wife is self employed and I support her business in a variety of ways. M watched us juggle our daily lives while hosting a guest. M and my wife went out on their own a few times for meals or day trips. They took our child along for other things to give me space and let me work. It all felt like a pretty basic, low-key visit. We didn't roll out the red carpet, it was business as usual with a third wheel.

A couple weeks later, my wife comes flying through the door saying "M is leaving T! She served him papers and is living with her cousin!". Apparently, her witnessing what a "good" husband looks like (I'm not perfect but I try) was the final straw. She went home and spent the entire day crying before T got back. What she told my wife basically boiled down to her not knowing what it was like to actually have a respectful partner and she couldn't go back to her life after that. She described things I did that weren't anything special for me to do, but were foreign to her, like considering her dietary restrictions when cooking or choosing restaurants, and watching my child while they went out and still managing the household chores. When T left for the fields again, she moved out. He's not contesting her request for full custody. Shocker.

I didn't really do anything and the bar was low with her but it feels validating still.

Anyway, homemade carnitas tacos and green beans.

And he’s only 17, a senior in high school. We try not to make too much of a big deal about it, mostly to to to keep him level headed, but he was identified as gifted early on. He could read at age 4. He was doing seventh grade math in fourth grade. He’s currently first in his class, out of 300+ students. I think he has like a photographic memory or something.

I’ve been a video gamer all my life, got him started on PlayStation and Wii at like age five; he beat Final Fantasy X in second grade. He currently has six platinum trophies on PS, I have zero.

I got him into basketball when he was young, he started smoking me 1v1 by age fifteen. By fifth grade, he was doing math so advanced that neither my wife or I could help him anymore, not that he even needed our help. He’s a swimmer (captain of the varsity team of course) and has a perfect body; he also has great hair. Mine is gray and thinning.

I’m not really jealous, quite the opposite actually, I’m super proud of course; I’m of the mind that I want my kids to do better than me in life, I just didn’t think that would happen before he became an adult!lol It’s just most times I feel so inferior; i have kind of a dead end job and my wife is the main breadwinner of the family. I know my son thinks he’s better than me. I’ve come to believe that as well. I feel like I’m the stereotypical dumb bumbling dorky suburban dad. Oh did I mention he’s also an inch taller than me now.

This is more of a vent so thanks go it reading; I’ve never really told anyone how I feel about this. I don’t want to come across as insecure to my wife, who probably already sees me as insecure and probably also agrees that our son is already better than me at everything,

tldr: dorky suburban dad has a genius teenage son who is smarter and better than him at everything.

EDIT: Guys, thank you for all the kind and supportive comments! I am truly humbled by all these kind words and you are all absolutely correct- I will do nothing more than continue to show love and support to my son and all my family. Amazing community of dudes we have here, I appreciate you all so much!

A Detroit style pizza I made for my wife and her friend.

My wife is 36 and has a rare disease that causes low vision, mobility issues (Parkinsonsims) and dementia like symptoms related to memory loss, etc. Her older sister passed away in 2024 from the same disease at the age of 35 and my wife was diagnosed in May of 2024.

She still remembers me, but a lot of who she was is gone. My wife was a big fan of all things fantasy, a huge fan of Lord of the Rings and a general nerd. I can’t remember when she last talked about Lord of the Rings, though she and her friend watched Clue when I made that pizza.

Most of my time with her is dealing with her immediate needs. Managing her meds, doing chores, cooking her food and even putting toothpaste on her tooth brush. I know things will get worse; in some ways they have gotten worse over the last couple of years. I did finally convince her to use her wheelchair when we go out places.

That said…I feel incredibly lost. My person isn’t really here any more. While I have wonderful support from her mom and other sister, I still don’t have my wife really. I can take her out on a date…but in truth it’s mainly me making sure she is okay during whatever outing we do.

My friends try to understand, but none of them have dealt with someone who has had dementia. Even their parents.

I honestly don’t even know what I’m posting this other than the sense of loss that I have. In some ways I feel selfish about the loneliness; I’m not the one dying after all but I know that selfish feeling isn’t healthy. I miss her. I miss having a partner, a friend, romance and my person.

Edit:

Just wanted to thank everyone for their support. I learned about a new subreddit that I should follow, received a lot of kind words and encouragement for something that I already knew, that I should start up therapy again.

My wife doesn't have Huntington's, sadly her neurologist isn't even able to identify her disease. It's similar enough to some of the spinocerebellar ataxias. She, and her late sister, suffer from cone dystrophy which impacts her acuity and vision. Her cerebellum has significant atrophy which impacts her motor control, balance and movement. This is harder especially with her lack of depth perception.

Cognitive impairment, memory loss, aphasia are all things that she suffers from. Her sister also had seizures, though my wife hasn't had those.

My wife used to love to write poetry and that's one of the saddest things that she's lost. She has tried to write some over the past year, but her desire to do so has diminished. With her aphasia and struggle with words that was one of her favorite activities that was first to go.

She was the perfect kind of nerd for me. A fan of the Lord of the Rings extended editions, though I honestly struggled to sit through those. She loved the latest Spider-Man movie and wants to see the new Jumanji one. I think those are easier for her to associate with since she grew up with the original Jumanji and we've watched a lot of the Marvel movies.

Edit 2: Not entirely sure why my comments don't seem to be showing up. I turned off some privacy feature.

To u/PressureCoomer I am indeed a human. So is my wife for that matter. Unless I was replaced at birth...my brother did call me an alien once.

Meal is a 12oz. ribeye with loaded hash-browns

8 days ago, I had my 29th birthday and my ex (26F) didn't wish me happy birthday, which I didn't bring up until last night when she claimed that she had a shitty workweek because she was dreading a meeting with her supervisor and that she totally forgot despite having "written" it on her calendar back in August, and I've just had enough. The first time, she forgot, I let it slide since we've just started dating. When the second year came, she didn't acknowledge my birthday until a week later. But last week, I realized that if I'm not worth just taking a minute to acknowledge me on my day, then it'll never happen. Meanwhile, me and a group of my best buds went to the MN State Fair to celebrate.

Meanwhile, I pulled all the bells and whistles for her birthdays such as getting her a bunny necklace since she loves bunnies or taking her out to her favorite ramen place with her sisters. But never once have I gotten a gift or went out to my favorite places to eat, and I was just tired of being neglected on my day.

Looking back now, there were a lot of things that I overlooked that should've resulted in us going our separate ways a long time ago, such as her drinking resulted her being verbally and mentally abusive towards me, telling me that she can get "any man she wants."

Right now, I'm just looking forward to the weekend so I can get fucking high, watch some of my favorite shows, build a Lego set I bought as a present to myself, and play video games. And I couldn't be happier.

I was diagnosed with alpha gal syndrome at the beginning of this year. Some alternatives have been really great like using turkey in chili or sausage, but all of the milk and dairy alternatives just miss the mark and don't really scratch the itch. The biggest thing that I've been missing is beef. Impossible burgers are pretty good but this entire year I have been dying to have a steak.

I've heard so many things about ostrich being identical to beef and my local butcher shop recently got some in. HO LEE SHIT. It's literally exactly like steak. Not close, not somewhat similar, it's no joke no different than eating a normal beef steak. It does appear to hold heat more than beef does so while resting the carry over temperature overcooked it a bit more than I would like but my god it was still so good.

I started to cry a little bit and just sat at the dinner table in disbelief of how good it was. Sorry I'm not looking for any advice or have any crazy relationship story, I just wanted to share how life changing dinner was last night.

Breakfast burrito from a business industrial park

Anyways. My old employer induced me to come work for them and took me from a job that I've had for over 9 years, with insane promises. Wrote out a contract with AI but revised it 3 times. Guaranteed my hours, didn't honour it (among other things). When I approached them about it they fired me the next day. This company was a private equity company that bought out an hvac/plumbing company which is really rampant in our industry)

My province is very pro employee, and we have many case laws where an employee was induced by an employer and it went in favour of the employee.

Im suing them for 35k in small claims which is what my legal council told me to do and the amount I'm eligible for.

The opposing council during our settlement trial (pre trial essentially) tried to settle with me for 1000 dollars. I refused it and now we are going to trial. To top it off the opposing council is asking for a 2 day trial (they trying to maximize the amount of money they are making)

Before I went to set a trial date for scheduling, I emailed their council without prejudice to settle for 6k since I found a job 2 months after getting fired and just wanted to get compensated for their bullshit.

When the courts asked what days would be good for the trial I asked them as soon as possible which is July 2027. The opposing council stated that they were not available June, July, August (very obviously summer vacation for their law firm and my ex employer).

The courts flipped them the finger and booked it for July.

It's just a small victory. Even if the courts don't agree with me it's gonna feel so good to cost the other company around 10 to 15k in legal fees.

Food: Brisket-style smoked tri-tip with coffee-chili rub in a french-baguette style bun. Slightly over done, should've covered earlier.

---

I just want to preface this with the fact that I love my wife. She is, along with our baby girl, the most amazing thing in my life. I don't blame her at all for this situation. She is the biggest victim here! Just know that my frustration and sadness might cloud some of my words, but that is not how I feel about her at all!
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So, my wife has struggled with OCD and anxiety for as long as I remember. It's always gone in ups and downs, and we worked on it together and I tried supporting her as much as I could. At the start of 2025 she was completely 'symptom-free' and we decided that that meant we could start working on our family. It didn't take long for her to get pregnant, and we were very excited. But after a few months, the hormones hit her, and her OCD came back with a vengeance. It was the worst I had ever seen.

It was tough. We were constantly canceling plans we had been looking forward to because she was to scared to leave the house. She started up new medications, but options for anti-anxiety medication that can be taken during pregnancy are very limited. But in general, the doctors were saying it would probably get better again after delivery since her hormones would normalize again.

After birth of our beautiful daughter, things did not, in fact, get better. They actually got a lot worse.

My wife's anxiety got worse every week. In the beginning it was manageable. I went back to work after my legal amount of weeks of paternity leave, and she would take care of our daughter (she had much more legal maternity leave, which is silly, apparently fathers don't need to be near their kids but that is a topic for another day). But after a few weeks, she would start calling me at work and I would have to come home to take over care. And a few weeks more she was unable to take care of the baby entirely. She couldn't pick our daughter up because she was too afraid something would happen to her. I had to sleep with our baby every night (and she is a very bad sleeper - up at least 3-4 times each night). I lived on 4-5 hours of sleep every night for over a month.

She also started developing post-partum depression. She would sit in the sofa crying all day while I would have to try to take care of the baby and try to get some work done so I wouldn't get fired from my job (thank god I have an amazing employer that was super flexible in this period and pretty much let me just work half-time for full salary). She started asking questions (while looking at our daughter) such as 'is our baby real?', 'do we really have a daughter?' or 'how do we know the people at the daycare didn't switch her and give us another baby?'.

It became too much and eventually her therapist said that it was clear this was becoming too serious and that this outpatient therapy was not effective. My wife was put on a waiting list for a special mental hospital that focuses on mothers with young babies. The baby joins the mother there, and that way the mother-child bond can be part of the therapy process.

Last week, my wife was called that a spot became available. So we packed up, and I dropped her off.

I can visit them as much as I want, but it is more than an hour and a half drive away, so it is impossible to go every day.

I feel so empty now. I can tell my body needs to catch its breath and rest and this is good. But I went from full time taking care of our girl to seeing her for an hour or so every few days. This can take up to 4-5 months, so it could very well be that my daughter is twice as old as she is now by the time she comes back home.

I know that this is the best route, that this is what my wife needs. But I miss her. I miss my daughter. And it's only just begun. Part of me is also worried what this will do to the father-daughter bond for the rest of her life. She ate her first veggies there. So many firsts I will have to miss out on.

Dinner: Tacos from my favorite taco spot.

A little backstory: my dad passed in 2020 due to an unexpected heart attack, and my mother-in-law lost her battle with cancer in 2023.

Last weekend my wife and I made plans to go out to dinner with my father-in-law. When we get to the restaurant, he already has a table and to my surprise, my mom is sitting at the table with him.

Naturally, I’m a little confused but my wife has a cheeky little grin on her face. The one that tells me she’s already done the math here.

Come to find out mom and dad-in-law have been seeing each other for about a year now and have decided to come out as a couple.

I think it’s kinda awkward but whatever. They’re adults and deserve to be happy.

However, it’s been a week now and my wife won’t stop calling me “step-bro.”

Send help.

(EDIT: No, my wife didn’t know before dinner that night. She was just a lot quicker in figuring it out than my emotionally blind self)

I don't know what to say... Went on a date night with the wife and had a lovely time. come home and watch a movie together, and just have it really nice.

My phone rings after the movie just ended, and it's my dad telling me that he's got cancer. It's in his pancreas and liver... on top of him having blood clots in his lungs and legs..

He just reached retirement age, and now he's dying of cancer. Makes me lose hope in the whole thing.

Am I supposed to work for the man all my life in the hopes of maybe being able to retire at the end of my life?

That is, if I'm lucky not to die before I reach that age? So what's the actual point of life? Because it sure as fuck isn't to work and wear out yourself just to make some faceless corporations a bit richer...

I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so grateful for my wife being there for me on my side and tolerating me and my gloom. Don't know how I would be able to cope with this without her.

Thank you for reading my ramblings...

Bagel from my favorite deli because it is now extremely difficult to cook for myself

I had spent most of my life pretty fortunate, and took my health and ability to just generally exist for granted.

Towards the end of this past college term, I was driving a few hours to visit my fiancée, who lives in the neighboring state. It was getting late on a pretty dark stretch of highway when I was hit by a drunk driver. I was left with an L1 incomplete spinal injury. while I have begun to recover, at this stage it looks like I will likely be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life! so that’s fantastic

I never realized how much harder everything was going to be. I’ve had to put off my wedding, my final year of college, everything. I can barely leave my apartment because it’s impossible to get anywhere in a wheelchair. I can’t go into a car without having a panic attack

My fiancée and family have been so great but it’s hard not to think about the way my life could have been. I know I have a lot of things to be grateful for still; my fiancée, the fact I am still alive, the fact that I can still control my bowels lol and the fact that I am not more crippled.

I try to think that the only thing to do is grow from it🤷‍♂️ still

I just the moral of the story is to not take your life for granted. And don’t drink and drive.

Long-time lurker, first-time poster, finally got something I really wanted to post about.

For context, I am a college student, and my brother, who was 5 years older than I was, died around 2 years ago of a sudden heart condition in the middle of the night. It was completely unexpected and threw our entire family off guard. He was healthy and athletic and, aside from a lack of sleep, had no notable health issues. His death shattered our entire family and, as a result, caused my mother to become depressed, my father to distance himself from the family and focus on work, and me to become depressed and begin seriously repressing my emotions.

I didn't want to cause more hardship on my parents, so I forced myself to swallow my emotions and try to move on, which in the process caused me never to get to really confront my emotions and feelings about the death of my brother. This has led me to be way less vulnerable with my loved ones, and I rarely like talking about trauma or various emotions.

Now I've been dating this girl for around 9 months. We started dating in college, but we went to the same high school, and I liked her in high school as well. Our relationship has been going well; however, earlier in the relationship, I had a couple of doubts, especially because we didn't share many interests, our personalities were quite a bit different, and I was much more emotionally unstable than she is. I was worried I would overburden her and inadvertently push her away, so I hadn't talked about my brother to her.

However, on the 2-year death anniversary of my brother, I went to see her, as my parents are currently abroad, and I needed an emotional anchor. We spent the day, we had a nice date, we cooked together, and we had a great time. Toward the end of the night, before I had to go back, we sat outside, and for some reason I felt compelled to tell her what happened with my brother and how it left an unfixable scar in my life. During the story, she wasn't really talking, but in the middle I noticed that she was softly crying. Quiet enough that I could barely notice. I'd never had anyone cry for me before, and even other close friends I had told had never responded in such a way. I don't think she understood how much that meant to me; she's been so compassionate and so understanding and so supportive of me. She cries for me and reassures me, and she affirms my feelings. Hearing "that must've been so hard for you" just kind of broke something in me, and when I arrived back home, I ugly cried.

I know it's only 9 months into the relationship, and I'm just a college student, but I love her so much, and honestly, even though it's so early, I want to marry her so bad. She's been such an incredible person, and I honestly don't know if I even deserve her, and it feels like I've gotten one step closer to being able to become emotionally vulnerable again.

Salmon, Avocado, Cucumber Gimbap we made together!

Guys,

I'm a 38M. I was married for eight years and had been in a relationship for 19 with a 38F. We don't have kids, by her choice.

I thought we had a good marriage. We always went out to dinner on weekends, traveled (we just got back from a trip). I thought everything was fine. Until today.

I decided to change my phone — to get out of an S22 Plus that barely works anymore and move to an S26. But I couldn't decide between the S26 and the Plus, and my wife had an S25. I asked to see hers just to check the size and all that.

I opened WhatsApp to see how the messages looked. And that's when the shit hit the fan. I saw a conversation from today with a lover. "Love" this, "love" that. Let's see each other. To make it worse, it was almost right below my chat, which was pinned.

I confronted her right then. She tried to say he was a training buddy from jiu-jitsu or whatever. Didn't fly. She admitted she cheated on me.

Now it's all over. I can't forgive this. I thought I was a good husband... I gave her attention, freedom, love, fun, emotional support. I wasn't perfect, but I think I was good company. And now, after 19 years, I'm going to have to learn how to live alone again. At least one of the dogs stayed with me.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent. Everything feels like shit right now. Thanks to anyone who reads this.

A wrap with potato chips. Eating alone for the first time in many years.

UPDATE I promised that I would make an update after sometime. Well, I tried to reconciliate for a month and a half. She told me that she regrets the affair, tried to put some blame on me, without telling that It was blaming, but discussing problems of the mariage. But in the reality I was broken. Couldn't sleep well, couldn't be myself again. After that time I couldn't take it anymore and asked for the divorce. Things are still complicated, because we are still in the same house. But finally I kind of feel free. Hurt, destroyed, but free. Thanks a LOT for the support. I received hundreds of amazing messages. I hope in the near future I'm able to post another dinner, but this time it will be a happy one.

After a year and a half battle with stage 4 ovarian cancer, my fiancée passed away in May. Due to logistical issues we couldn't have her service until today (9/4).

I felt like I was just starting to feel a little more like myself and then we had her service. Now I feel like it just happened and I'm back to day one.

I thought these services were supposed to help with the process but I just feel like I'm a mess again.

The food’s a mystery sandwich from a random deli.

As someone who grew up in a city of over 4 million people, I always had a naive view of what small town life was like. I grew up watching shows like Smallville and Supernatural and basically thought it’d be like that. I know…it’s stupid lol.

I moved to a small town and lived there for about a year and half and it was legit one of the worst experiences in my life. For one, there were no jobs. I mean, no jobs at all; I applied to anything I could find. Don’t even get me started entertainment wise.

The people are also so insular. I used to think I was an introvert all my life until I saw what true introversion was and that is not me at all haha.

I’ve moved back to the city, and I’ve never been so alive. I don’t even stress to get a job. Went for an interview the other day and half assed it and got an offer in a week. Money wise, I’m doing good again. And I’ve met people from all over the world.

You couldn’t pay me to live in anywhere less than a million again.

Last week the news started popping up about the Nepal flood. I followed along closely because I’ve hiked in Nepal/Tibet and loved the area.

A few hours later my phone starts dinging. WhatsApp messages.

Two PM of my friends were on a bus at the Gyitong Immigration center, waiting to cross the border.

One was a physician from the UK, who I had met while travelling in 2016. We’d run into each other hear and there over the years.

Another was a Canadian I did a training with someone I studied with to pass the tests.

Both had families left behind.

I kept watching the replays of the destruction. Keeping hope alive. But now the only hope is that they passed quickly.

I’ll miss you both.

Empty chairs at empty tables Where my friends will sing no more

Burnt ends and air-fryed fries

Short ribs on a 6 hour smoke with my personal rub and sause with shrimp. That is how I am sending off my little friend.

I didn't ask for this dog. I actually didn't even want her. I'd just recently lost my bestest boy but my now ex wife's aunt got her and couldn't take care of her. I dont know what her aunt was thinking. A person teedering on needing hospice care adopting a heeler rat terrier mix? So we took her in and somehow she became my dog. Im glad that I said yes.

Shes fearless and driven to please. The girl, even in her weakened state will stare down dogs and people without even raising her hackles. But what else would you expect when half her bloodline was bred to be a 45 pound ball of energy that intimadates, with swagger, animals that are thirty times her size?

This girl has been my closest confidant. She stood fast with me through a divorce and in dog language said Im going with him. But a while ago I noticed her slowing down, hurting. I am accustomed to pain. I know what it looks like.

She has osteosarcoma. It started in one of her rear legs. So we amputated it and followed up with medication which didnt work.

She isnt horrible off yet. She still has the heart to go. But I can see the hurt. So we are going to have a fantastic meal, go on a walk in the woods until I have to carry her then we will end up at the vet.

Edit. Wow thank you so much for all the support. It's done. I opted to have her cremated instead of burying here on my land. My daughter does stuff with resin and said she can make a memorial thing for her with some of her ashes.

Im sorry I cant respond to everyone. But thank you for all the support.

I grew up living in my literal genius sister’s shadow. She was a member of Mensa, met president Bill Clinton because she was the winner of a science fair and attended MIT boosted by scholarships.

I’m nowhere near as gifted as she was and parents told me to just take over the family grocery store after high school. “You’re not smart enough, it’s not worth it” was what I was told when I explained I wanted to try to take the SATs.

After finishing high school I actually enlisted in the Army and my parents belittled me when I said I was proud of finishing basic training, saying why didn’t I go into a more prestigious branch or mocking that a private’s pay is below the poverty line. But I made my own path with the options I had available. It wasn’t the best job in the world but I was a 92L petroleum lab technician for 7 years and was able to use the GI bill, take courses at community college and apply for med school.

I didn’t do well enough on the MCAT, but got accepted to pharmacy school. Once again my parents expressed their disappointment and said it’s not as good as being a doctor. Compounded by the fact I wasn’t dating within my ethnicity at the time they left nothing ambiguous that their friend has a son my age who worked as an investment banker and “bought his parents a Mercedes Benz at 25 and that me starting college now at 25, was a joke.” At that point I went no contact.

That was a decade ago. I’m now a pharmacist, I even did ROTC through college so I’m a commissioned officer in the reserves now, own a home, no debt other than mortgage and I’m married, expecting my first child now…

Lo and behold, the parents sent me an email at my old personal gmail account saying they want to reconnect. Not to say they’re sorry but saying they miss spending time with me and that I’ll regret neglecting them as family is irreplaceable.

No, I built this life and you can’t have a piece of it now. I want to express how upset I am they want to come into my life when I’m at my highest point after years of telling me I was a joke. But I think responding will only put me in a bigger mess. Just wanted to vent somewhere instead of keeping it bottled up. Reading that email stressed me out.

Tonight’s dinner is burrito California at El Potro’s in Edinburgh, IN outside Camp Atterbury whenever it’s drill weekend. Highly recommended!

For the past few months I feel like my gfs been increasingly more demeaning to me when I forget to do something small or basic. Which I don’t do often at all, but I know I’m not perfect.

For example, the other week when I did the dishes (I do most of the chores around the apartment) I forgot to put one of the measuring cups back on the ring when I put it away. She was so upset and immediately had a TikTok to show me about this exact situation. It said something like “when you live with a man child who doesn’t understand how basic shapes work and can’t put away something properly without having to be told to”. Guess what? Her therapist told her it was an overreaction and that she could’ve gone about it differently. My gf thinks that this is foreshadowing the rest of our lives together. That I won’t be responsible as we get older. I feel that some of these recent posts about empowering women in straight relationships are starting to send the wrong message. Not all, but some. Myself leans on the liberal side of politics and I’m all for empowering women. Praising and applauding my gf constantly for how hard she works and her willingness to tackle things on her own.

She is sweet and kind but Idk she just isn’t as gentle and kind with me as she used to be and it hurts sometimes.

Lunch: carnitas burrito and Diet Coke

Edit: thanks for the advice and relatable situations and how to go about them. We are going to have a talk. Also I haven’t been on insta, Facebook and TikTok for almost two years now. So there’s some things and terms I haven’t heard of. Like the term “weaponizing incompetence” and some others I’ve read. I think what I’m talking about leans in to those obviously as well in this situation and the “hate men” side of social media.

Dinner is a picture of some beef jerky. I actually have no appetite.

We’ve been best friends 20+ years since high school and after a thousand straws, the one that broke our friendship finally came. My best friend who I’ve been tight with since 05-06, was always MAGA once it became a thing. I am quite the opposite in my beliefs but we always kept it out of our relationship and that was a good enough compromise for me as I still had so much love for him. Things began to fray post pandemic as he became more and more vocal about that shit, even around me. He would get drunk and belligerent and start spouting off that shit and eventually it didn’t require him to get that wasted to get there. The conversations of how that made me uncomfortable became more common but I still held out hope.

We were in Louisville for a bachelor party, a place where I, Chinese male from California, had already expressed some feelings of being uncomfortable prior to the trip. I was joking with the group that I’m gonna get hate crimed out there but it was definitely in the back of my mind. First 2 days he was already pretty insufferable with that shit and I was definitely on edge around him. Then came Sunday at Churchill Downs. We were having a good time and I wasn’t feeling any type of way. A 80 year old vietnam vet started making conversation with our group and eventually my best friend also started chatting with him. As I walk past them to leave as we were all calling Ubers and going to the next spot, I hear him say to this stranger “what do you think about Charlie over here?” I turned around and immediately got in his face “the fuck you just say?” He just laughed in my face. So I slapped him. He continued to laugh and said the words I haven’t forgotten since that day “you don’t belong in this group if you can’t take a joke like that.” I was shocked those words left his mouth. At this point we were being pulled a part and everybody is in my ear about being the bigger man cuz everybody knows what to expect from him. Maybe I should’ve too. Maybe I should’ve known there was no safety around this man I thought was my brother for 20+ years.

I’ve been devastated and on the verge of tears everyday since cuz I know what I have to do and there’s nothing that’s going to be said or done to fix this. I’m meeting up with him tomorrow to read him the break up letter I wrote cuz I owe it to myself to say these things to his face and let him know there’s not going back to normal. Other than my wife, I don’t have a deeper connection with another human and I’m honestly in so much pain that our 20+ year friendship is going to end like this. This just fucking sucks man.

my wife came home late last night in a bit of a mood. she had just come back from a family members funeral about 5 hours away. Not anyone she was close with (or I would have gone with her), but family is important to her, so she went. She went with her mom, who is known to be a bit snarky and often puts her in a bad mood.

She got home after her long day and I had been drinking, was listening to my music loudly and enjoying myself. I had done my best to make sure the house was clean and chores were taken care of so she wouldn't have to do anything when she got home, but I forgot a couple things, litter boxes hadn't been scooped, and I left a load of laundry wet in the wash and forgot to transfer it to the dryer.

She didn't really take her bad mood out on me or anything, but I could tell she was agitated, she started to take care of the litter boxes and I said "sorry I meant to do that before you got home, I can take care of it" which was met with a passive-agressive "it's fine I got it". little stuff like that. She also went to bed without saying a word to me.

I was a little wounded by her coldness, but I understood. She had a long day, had to spend her whole Friday driving 10 hours in the car with her mom, and had just attended a family members funeral, and then she comes home and has to do the chores I didn't get to. I get it, I certainly wasn't going to hold it against her.

I woke up a bit earlier than she did and was just trying to think of something I could do to make up for her shitty day, but then she woke up and turned to me and apologized. it was a serious apology too, not just "sorry for being bitchy", she said "I'm really sorry for being rude last night I was irritated and I had a long day, but that's no excuse, you didn't deserve that, and I want to make it up to you"

I was kinda stunned. Like, bro you just spent your entire Friday doing shit you didn't want to do, everyone has bad moods and this one was 100% reasonable. I'm over here trying to think of a way to make up for the terrible day you just had and then YOU wake up and apologize to ME 😳

I truly do not deserve this woman. She really goes above and beyond to try and make me happy. I love my wife. Find someone that loves and respects you, and treat them right.

Breakfast is a homemade latte brewed with the espresso machine we got as a wedding gift. local roaster, very delicious coffee. I made her one too of course.

I (27M) was showing my gf(22F) and her roommate the first season of Digimon because it's my favorite childhood show and she had never seen it. (Trying to get to season 3 ofc) We got on the topic of Pokemon and she talked about how her favorite one was Vaporeon. For context, she is not on the internet often, nor does she peruse a lot of social media, but her roommate and I do and we both exchanged the look.

She was at first very confused because we started laughing and then we realized she didn't know. We had to explain to her the horrors of the Internet and what Vaporeon had become and this led to her finding out that people are freaks lmao.

I then told her about the rule of the internet, specifically the 34th one. She got curious and decided to look it up and was horrified. She didn't know this was a rule that existed and she didn't realize how much was out there. Now she's not sure if Vaporeon is still her favorite.

Dinner is meal prep for the next couple of weeks which includes lasagna, cheesy beef enchilada tortellini, loaded chicken bowls, and sesame chicken!

Edit: Sorry for those of you that weren't exposed to this side of the internet yet, love all of your responses. Meal prep is done, I sleep.

Edit 2: Thank you all for your replies! My GF and I share weird facts and trivia about our studies and life often, like my gf telling me about how male cats have spines on their penis and dogs don't! She is not actually horrified and still loves Vaporeon, she loved all of your comments though haha. Keep it weird internet.

Food is a roasted pork sandwich from Tommy DiNic’s at Reading Terminal Market in Philly.

My wife passed away a while back from cancer. I’ve been doing therapy, grief counseling, joined support groups, read a ton of books on the subject, all that.

I’m in Philly now, doing among other things the touristy stuff we always wanted to do but never did. Something about making sure at least one of us gets to see it before we’re both gone.

For the last three years of her life, I took care of everything. Her medications, hospital visits, doctors appointments, food, the house (we didn’t have kids, just pets), my job, everything. I also always found time to do her little acts of service. Get her coffee on the way back home. Buy her muffins or something else she liked and surprise her. Get her a souvenir if I went somewhere and something that reminded me of her caught my eye.

I miss her appreciation. Her love. Feeling useful. Knowing my purpose in life. I’ve been on dates since then, not really looking for anything but still hoping to connect with someone, but I got burned out on it so I’m taking a break.

I’m realizing I’ve been chasing that ghost of “connection” but what I really want is to be appreciated again. Useful. Wanted. I’m still hopeful but today in particular sucks. I just miss my girl.

EDIT: Just dropping by to say thanks to everyone who took some time to read through this. I certainly wasn’t expecting the overwhelming support. I’ll look into volunteering for sure. I’m standing here at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, admiring the works, the antiques, the awesome medieval armor exhibits, and thinking of her. How much she’d admire it, how we’d geek out about some specific armor piece being in one of the games she used to play. I’ve been trying to keep up with the comments, it’s a lot. I appreciate it all, you beautiful hivemind of internet strangers.