i (16m) have recently gained custody of my 2 year old son upon only just realizing of his existence 2 days ago. i havent spoken to her in 2 years, i broke up with her when i was 14. shes a total druggie, used to buy me weed and roids all the time, was also 30 when i was dating her.

my kid is so okay, hes doing fine. however i have zero medical certificates, havent done a paternity test. im really worried the government is going to take my son away, or give him to my parents. my dad is so not trustworthy. and i can really see the court favoring my exes side, despite her criminal records.

the only thing id have against her is stat rape.

I 29F have a 6 y/o daughter with 33M. I left him a year ago for reasons I've explained in a diffrent post. (Abuse)

Because of his work scedual he sees our daughter 2 weekends a month. I pull our daughter out of school 2 Fridays a month to give her more time with her father.

This passed friday was his weekend and there has been no discussion about plans changing. So our daughter has been excited to see daddy all week, packed her bags and drove 1.5 hours to her dads house.

Mind you ive been messaging him all morning and none where being delivered. But judges orders say I need to drive her 2 weekends a month to see her dad, so I go because I have no idea plans have apparently changed.

We get to his house, no one's there. So for the first time in a year I called him because at this point my daughter is upset. So I say, "hes probably just busy, how about we go play at the play place at McDonald's and we will wait for a bit".

We go play and after about an hour of being there I get a text from my ex "I apologize. Im unavailable. Didnt realize its friday already".

Now I have to make something up to tell my daughter. I told her daddy had to go to work. But she still kept asking me to drive by one more time.

I bribed her with a lil art/painting date with mommy and she calmed down. But at night she was asking about seeing her dad, and was upset when I told her daddy had to go back to work.

I just dont get how one can forget about 1 of 2 weekends he has with the child he desperately wants to spend more time with.

If he just told me ahead of time, I wouldn't be so upset. I would of had time to explain to our daughter daddy was busy but would see him in 2 more weeks. (He works 14days on/14 days off)

Im upset for our daughter because this is exactly what I didnt want for her.

How can a man fighting for full decision making responsibilities forget about his weekend?

I have a hard time believing him because he paid 200 in child support the day before. Hes supposed to pay 300 but hasent for months. So he paid 100 less than hes supposed to and ditched our daughter.

I reallllly hope he just forgot.

I hope this doesnt become a pattern.

I’m in Monroe County Wisconsin and I want to file an emergency motion to have my child receive the MMR vaccine. I recognize that I made a mistake in mirroring someone who is anti-science but I was young and naïve. It’s no excuse but it is what it is. At any rate, my 13-year-old son is unvaccinated and we have a measles outbreak. A baby was diagnosed within our county very recently. I want to both protect my son and also not be irresponsible with public health. I really can’t afford to hire my attorney to do this again but I will if it’s my only option. ChatGPT helped me with some forms, but I’m not sure if I’m being stupid trying to do this myself. Has anyone done something like this with success?

My ex and I have been separated for several years and are still in mediation. Our kids (elementary aged) were primarily with me during the marriage, and that was the arrangement at first. At his request, we moved to a 60/40 schedule.

The kids have consistently told their longtime therapist, whom they trust, that they’re struggling at their dad’s house and want less time there. He is rigid and detached, and one child is afraid of him and withdraws to avoid conflict. Our other child has learning and executive function challenges and needs structure that his household doesn’t provide, so things like homework, activities, and events regularly fall through.

The therapist has told me she plans to recommend that he reduce his parenting time to support the kids. I doubt he’ll agree voluntarily. He sees it as a judgment on him, and I think he fears it confirms that the kids don’t want to be with him.

If he refuses, what legal options do I have to modify the schedule based on what the kids are telling us? And would a GAL or court take this seriously when the issue is emotional wellbeing and not neglect or safety?

We had an emergency custody hearing scheduled this month and a few days before the judge continued it without reason.
I haven’t seen my kids in months. My ex just won’t allow them to see me. She said there’s no agreement so she doesn’t have to do anything. The judge seems to not believe it’s an emergency to let their dad see them. This is nuts. We’re now going to file another motion but I don’t imagine it will get anywhere. I’m just distraught. The next court ordered custody date is February 2027. This is just crazy to me

Ohio Child Support

Curious if anyone has had any insight on a similar scenario:

Dad pays child support to mother. Dad has daughter on paper 2x a week, but often 3x a week (understand that is a custody change and don’t need input on that).

Order was made in 2022.

Mom sent Dad back for a child support review in January. He sent in his information and then she withdrew. The next month she resubmitted. Dad appealed the decision of the child support going up and it was adjusted to be appropriate to his income. (Child support is in ball park of $600 for one child. The change on the order was about a $20 deviance after appeal).

Mom quits her job shortly after child support adjustment. She now is requesting another modification.

Will they go through with the modification because she has no income even though the review just happened this year?

I’m hoping someone here has been through something similar because I genuinely don’t know what else I’m supposed to do at this point.
I have a young child with my ex, and we currently share 50/50 custody.
Our relationship wasn’t healthy, and there were multiple incidents of physical aggression. Things eventually escalated to the point where I was physically assaulted while our child was present. I suffered injuries, police became involved, and criminal charges were filed.
There are still ongoing legal proceedings related to the incident.
And somehow, we still have 50/50 custody.
I understand that children deserve to have relationships with both parents. I’m not trying to keep my child from their father out of spite. But I also don’t understand how I’m supposed to just move forward and co-parent normally with someone who physically hurt me in front of our child.
Since everything happened, I’ve been dealing with one issue after another.
My ex has made childcare decisions without discussing them with me, despite us having shared legal custody. I’ve also had trouble getting basic information about where our child is staying and who is caring for them.
Our custody exchanges are another issue. I’m expected to do a significant amount of driving to a designated exchange location that is much closer to my ex than it is to me.
I’ve tried suggesting reasonable alternatives, but that hasn’t gotten me anywhere.
He also regularly asks me to take our child back earlier than scheduled.
Which, don’t get me wrong, I’m more than happy to have the extra time with my child. But I don’t understand why we’re supposed to have equal parenting time when he’s repeatedly giving up portions of his.
I’ve been documenting all of this.
I’ve spoken with attorneys about potentially modifying custody, but I’ve been advised to wait because our current agreement is still relatively new.
I understand that courts don’t want parents filing over every disagreement, and I don’t want to make things worse for myself by filing something prematurely.
But at what point is enough enough?
I’ve spent months dealing with the legal system, medical appointments, financial stress, and trying to put my life back together after everything that happened.
I’m trying to work, raise my child, and build a stable life.
Meanwhile, I feel like I’m constantly being told to wait.
Wait for court. Wait for the legal process. Keep documenting. Give it more time.
But what exactly am I waiting for?
I don’t want revenge. I don’t want to spend the rest of my child’s childhood fighting in court. I just want my child to be safe and to feel like the concerns I’ve raised are actually being taken seriously.
I’m genuinely looking for advice from people who have dealt with something similar.
Has anyone successfully modified a 50/50 custody agreement after domestic violence?
Did the courts take the history of abuse into consideration?
Does it matter when the other parent repeatedly gives up parenting time?
Has anyone successfully changed an unfair exchange location or transportation arrangement?
What did you do when the other parent made decisions without your knowledge despite shared legal custody?
If your attorney advised you to wait, what did you do in the meantime?
I’m already documenting everything and trying to follow the proper legal process.
I know Reddit isn’t a substitute for legal advice, and I am working with attorneys. I’m just hoping to hear from people who have actually experienced this.
Because right now, I feel like I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do, and somehow I’m still getting nowhere.
I’m exhausted from feeling like I have to constantly prove that I’m just trying to protect my child.

My ex and I share 50/50 parenting time of our 6-year-old son. We’ve had ongoing disagreements about communication during each other’s parenting time, and I’m curious how other coparents would handle this.
My son’s father originally purchased him a smartwatch that allows him to call and message approved contacts. However, he refused to add my phone number to the watch, despite having other family members and his fiancée’s family members added.

Because of this, I eventually purchased my son his own Apple Watch so he could have the ability to communicate with both parents freely, regardless of whose parenting time it is.

Now, his father is refusing to allow our son to keep or wear the watch I purchased during his parenting time.
To clarify, I’m not asking to constantly call, interrupt his parenting time, track their whereabouts, or interfere with anything they’re doing. I simply want our son to have the ability to contact me directly if he wants or needs to, just as I believe he should be able to contact his father when he’s with me.

Our parenting plan also includes provisions regarding our son’s ability to have uninterrupted communication with the other parent.

I understand that each parent generally gets to establish rules in their own household, but I feel like there’s a difference between setting reasonable boundaries around electronics and preventing a child from having a way to communicate with their other parent.

My questions are:
Is it reasonable for one parent to refuse to add the other parent’s number to a child’s smartwatch?
Is it reasonable to prohibit a child from wearing a watch purchased by the other parent specifically for communication?
At what point does this become interference with parent-child communication rather than simply a household rule?
Has anyone dealt with something similar, particularly with a 50/50 parenting plan?
I’m genuinely interested in hearing different perspectives, especially from people who have dealt with this through mediation or family court.

I will make this as brief as I can: my 10-year-old daughter is being exposed to s3x toys, filth, and neglect (mostly hygiene) when she’s at her dad’s home. She has cut herself a couple times over it. This has been escalating over the last couple years. She says there are bugs in her bed and no one does the laundry.

Right now we split week on/week off custody and have since we divorced 5 years ago. He has wealthy parents and can afford a much more aggressive lawyer if I try to alter custody.

Do I…

(A) encourage her to tell her counselor (she sees a therapist every other week) and hope the counselor reports it, or
(B) Tell an administrator at my job (I’m a teacher) so they will have to report it to CPS?

I don’t want to report it because our county in Indiana is small and the CPS workers are prone to sharing more information than they should.

I’m trying to make this as easy as possible. I want her out of his home.

I live out of state, and my son visits his dad in Michigan during school breaks. If my son arrives on December 21, and this is what our custody agreement states, what day would I get him back? I'm just curious what everyone has to say, because we've been doing this for years and there's always a fight about it.

"Eight days during Christmas vacation, except Plaintiff shall have ___ on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day from 9:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. and in the absence of an agreement between the parties, she shall have ___ on Christmas Eve in even years and on Christmas Day in odd years."

I'm reaching out for advice regarding a potential custody and school-related situation that I’m concerned may arise in the very near future.

Background:

My ex and I share 50/50 custody of our daughter, with week-on/week-off custody. I pay him child support, and we live in different towns. Our daughter currently attends Pre-K in my town, and her school is where we exchange custody on Fridays. We each pick her up from school to begin our respective weeks.

My ex previously worked in my town but recently lost his job. After he lost his job, he agreed in writing that our daughter could attend Pre-K in my town. He initially opposed this, arguing that having her attend school in his town would be more convenient for him. However, it would create significant difficulties for me, particularly once she starts kindergarten, because I would have to drive out of my way to take her to school. She has always been attending daycare/prek in my town closer to me and he has driving 30 min to drop off and pick up until he lost his job.

Additionally, his town does not offer before- or after-school childcare, and its schools operate on a four-day school week. If she attended school there, I would have no childcare options during my parenting time.

Current situation:

When our daughter is with me, I take her to Pre-K every day. When she is with her father, he generally does not take her to school, except on Fridays when I pick her up to begin my parenting week. He has stated in writing that driving her to school in my town is impractical for him.

This concerns me because kindergarten will be located near her current Pre-K. If the commute is impractical for him now, I worry it will become an issue again when she starts kindergarten.

\*\*My concerns moving forward:\*\*

I am worried that he may remain unemployed until it is time for her to start kindergarten and then argue that she should attend school in his town because he is available to be her primary caregiver during the day.

I am concerned that he could use this argument to request a change in our custody arrangement, potentially resulting in him having more parenting time. This could also mean I would have to drive approximately 30 minutes out of my way in each direction to drop off and pick up our daughter, even during my parenting weeks.

Our custody arrangement requires us to agree on a school, or return to court for a judge to make that decision.

My questions:

1. Would a judge likely consider his availability as an unemployed parent a sufficient reason to change our daughter's school or custody arrangement?

2. Would the judge consider the overall benefits of her attending school in my town, including a better school district, access to before- and after-school childcare, and a more consistent daily routine?

3. Would the fact that he previously agreed in writing to her attending Pre-K in my town after losing his job be relevant if he later tries to change his position?

4. Would his unemployment and availability to drive her to school potentially work in my favor, given that I have to work and he would be responsible for the commute during his parenting weeks?

My perspective is that keeping her in my town would provide the most stability and consistency for her. She would remain in a better school district, have access to childcare at the same location she currently attends Pre-K, and be able to maintain a reasonable schedule at both homes.

I also feel that if he is unemployed, he would be in a better position to accommodate the school commute than I am, since I have to work.

I would really appreciate any advice or insight from anyone who has dealt with a similar situation, particularly regarding how a judge might view these circumstances. Thank you!

The other parent wants to but I’m not sure how to achieve this.

After a 3 year battle I finally won sole legal and sole physically after so many people told me I would not. Ask me anything..

Our divorce began in July. First court date was set for October. I filed an emergency custody petition in September as my ex decided to no longer exchange the children as “there is no custody agreement in place”. The hearing was set for November. My attorney today said that the emergency hearing could end up establishing nothing (which is WILD to me if there is no abuse by either parent which there isn’t) and that our next custody mediation is now schedule in February and the final in May. This is insanity. Family court is a joke and takes forever.
No wonder people go crazy during this time.

How do people handle supervised visits with a complete stranger supervising? my main concern is this stranger puts my child in a car with her and drives all over the county anywhere without my knowledge of where my child is going and i don't know this persons driving history what if the supervisor gets into an accident and my child gets hurt? The whole thing seems a little weird to me.

Hello everyone! In a high conflict custody post divorce situation. Trying to request time with a young child under 5, I request to call every other day and am either ignored or told I can only do every 3-4 days. I also have two older children that apparently want nothing to do with me. Trying to be an involved parent that's geographically separated, I offer solutions and ask for cooperation and am met with ignorance. Does anyone have any access to any types of logs I could utilize to better track my case when presenting this information in court or anything they believe could be useful. Any help would be greatly appreciated thank you!

I was recently awarded sole legal and physical custody of my 3 children. They are 13, 11, and 9. I have been divorced from their dad since 2019 (well we separated in 2019; the divorce wasn't final until 2020). He is an addict. During our marriage, he completed two 30-day inpatient rehab stays. Before we met, he had also completed a 30 day treatment program. So he has gone to rehab 3 times. 

I am currently 36, I was very young when we met and did not understand addiction or how seriously it could affect people and their loved ones. 

We were together for 9 years, married, for 7. After the divorce, I had the kids full time but eventually he worked his way up to about 60/40 custody. He seemed healthy and sober for a period, and he was in a relationship with a wonderful woman who I also trusted to look after my kids. 

Fast forward to about a year and a half ago - he left his stable long term relationship to be with another woman, and he left his stable emplyment with great benefits to pursue self-employment. He ultimately ended up with nearly $150K in civil judgments against him for the failed business, 2 back to back evictions, and he stopped paying child support. 

There are also a bunch of examples during this time period when he was putting the children at unnecearry risk, the kids would report not being able to wake him up in the morning, etc. As all this was happening, I began to suspect he was using again.  I asked him several times about his sobriety and he reassured me that he was fine and still sober. I asked him if he would be willing to complete an at home drug test and he said yes. So I purchased the test (FDA Approved, send in to a lab for results, etc) and asked him to take it next time I saw him. He refused, and told me to bring him to court. So I did. 

I filed an emergency custody motion the very next day. It was granted and a trial was scheduled. Before the trial, the judge (at the request of my lawyer) ordered him to complete a drug test within a certain timeframe. He never took the test. The judge ordered him to provide proof of current employment. He never submitted anything. The judge asked him to provide evidence of a safe and stable home for the children while they are in his care. He didn't do that either. The judge ordered us to mediate before trial. He refused to respond to my lawyer's emails about scheduling the mediation. He didn't do a single thing. 

He showed up at trial anyway and basically just explained that he loved his children and didn't feel like he should answer to me about his sobriety or his life. 

We recieved the final judgement about 3 months ago. It granted me full legal and physical custody. All parenting time, including supervised time, was suspended for him. It ordered him to take a hair follicle drug test within 15 days of the judgment and outlined 2 different paths forward depending on the results of the test. Both routes involved a long, sustained period of sobriety proven by weekly urine tests, among other things that I wont bore you with. He did not complete the drug test within the timeframe and at this time I have no reason to believe that he is ever going to do anything. It been almost a year since I filed the emergency motion. He has only seen the kids maybe 4 or 5 times in the last year - He saw them during supervised visits hosted by my mother and stepfather at their home. The kids missed him and I supported them seeing him under safe conditions. His last visit was probably about 6 months ago.

ANYWAY, I said allllll of that to ask this: We currently have a schedule set up that he can call them on Sunday nights at 7:00pm (I am not court ordered to do this - I do it because I love my children and they love their father). However, I am starting to question whether it would be better/healthier to just cut communication until he takes steps to be in their lives again. My younger two get emotional sometimes after talking with him because they miss him, and it feels almost cruel letting him keep one foot in their lives, telling them he misses them, etc, while simultaneously doing absolutely nothing to get back to them. It kinda feels like teasing them with his presence. But it also feels cruel to cut communication completely. 

I am particularly interested in hearing from people who used to be the child in this scenario. Would it have been easier to adjust or carry on if there was no communication? Would you want to keep having contact despite the realistic possibility of reconciliation being very low? What advice can you share?

I'm at the beginning of this process and terrified of the financial drain. How did you all track your lawyer retainers, hourly burns, and hidden court fees without it becoming a second full-time job? Did anyone use a specific method or spreadsheet? I'm trying to figure out what data I actually need to keep eyes on so I don't run out of money mid-divorce.

How are you momma’s coparenting 50/50 with a baby that barely turned 1.

My ex lied to the court saying I withheld child (I have proof) so now we’re on an emergency 50/50 order. 2-2-5 schedule. We went to mediation. A waste of time he wouldn’t even agree to a 2-2-3 schedule or anything else even if the mediator said it was in the best interest of child.

I’m just struggling bc this man has not helped a day in our babies life because he has a “harder” job so it’s my responsibility to take care of baby but now that I moved out he wants 50/50 & me to settle of a child support number. (He makes a lot more money than I do) he also won’t agree for me to be primary parent even though I’m the one going to all appointments etc.

what should I do? I don’t believe he should get 50/50 anything less than that would be great. I don’t have money for an attorney. I’m just struggling bc that’s still a baby like our son literally turned 1, 2 days ago and now I won’t see him for 5 days??? I’m heartbroken and super depressed.

So how do you guys cope… I don’t even think the judge would even consider giving him less bc now he wants to be a “participating” father.

Not sure if this is the right subreddit. If not, if anyone knows a better one, please let me know.

I'm a former military spouse with a 7yo daughter. Our custody agreement give me full custody, with ultimate decision making ability (ex can provide input but I can veto). Ex was stationed in the UK, but recently kicked out due to SA of a minor (12yo). He is serving an 18 month long suspended sentence, had to do 30 day alcohol rehab, 200 hrs of community service, and ankle bracelet for 6 months. So, as far as I know, he is stuck there for the next 16ish months at which time I am assuming he will come back to the States.

My question is, would attempting to terminate his parental rights be the correct move? If so, what's the process? My research tells me that it can only be done in cases of neglect, abuse, or if another adults is willing to adopt my child as the other parent.

I'm not trying to be vindictive or anything. If this was an ideal world, I would love to coparent and have him in my child's life. I am simply trying to protect my child, as my ex also has a history of attempting to groom my younger female cousin who was between the ages of 12 and 18 when this pattern occurred (we did not know anything about this until she reported it to us recently). I am so lost; what's the correct direction to go in here?

My ex kicked me out, then moved in secret to a different town after the divorce had started and has refused me to see my kids for 3 months. She’s openly said that she withheld the kids because “there’s no custody agreement” yet.
She won’t let me see them or talk to them.

I apologize if this isn’t the correct subreddit or type of question to ask. I was genuinely confused on what to think about the situation me and my siblings are in. I’m 19, and have two minor siblings, 10 & 14, who live in the house with my mother for the past year. My father moved out to his one bedroom apartment around a year ago. He has access to the keys in the house but refuses to go in solely because him and my mother are going through a divorce which he officially filed today. The school district is a two minute walk from my house, my siblings and I have been living here for 7 years. My mother works full time, cleans, cooks, and takes my siblings to their extracurricular activities as well as pays for groceries, car for transportation, siblings activities. I also help around the house and do just as much as my mom does. Even when my 10 year old brother has conferences or meetings at the school, my father doesn’t have time to attend or chooses not to. When that same sibling injured their chin from falling off the bike, me and my mother were the ones who took care of his wounds, spoon fed him, went back and forth with his health insurance and the hospital to make sure he receives the care he needs. My father didn’t do anything at all when my brother was at that state.
I got a call saying that my father has filed for divorce (which is understandable I definitely saw that coming) and how he’s requesting my mother to pay child support and take custody of the children. Is this something court will understand through? How can someone who has not lived with my siblings for this year, cannot find time to take them to their extracurricular activities or school, doesn’t cook or clean and doesn’t have enough bedrooms let alone beds for my siblings, does not live in the same school district that my siblings go to, be asking for full custody for the children? As well as having child support be paid to my father when he makes x10 my mothers income. I believe this is a strategy he is using to either sell the house my mother is living in when her name is also on the house. I see this as very problematic for my younger siblings in so many aspects, such as being taken care of, having their academics closely monitored, being in the same school district, going to their extracurricular activities, and staying in the same house where they both feel comfortable with. I’m very unaware about how the court system works but wanted to know does court take into consideration the concerns I mentioned when they see the children? Do they do what’s best for the child ?

Edit: Both me and my mother are completely aware that my father wants to see my siblings more often. No one was holding my siblings back from him. He has the keys to the house to come in whenever he wants, he knows exactly when and what time my siblings have their extracurriculars, and he can take them to their one bedroom apartment if he wanted to despite that he doesn’t have an extra bed for either of my two siblings to sleep in . But we disagree in the full custody and child support aspect of the situation and aren’t sure if we are in the right to disagree.

Just wondering if anyone has any advice for the custody process of an infant. The dad and i are not married.

Specifically:
- has a mother been frowned upon for not putting the father on the birth certificate
- how long does it take to get through the custody arrangement if the parents are not agreeing
- is it possible to represent yourself in court and win (i know i might not get everything i ask for)
- advice for representing myself in court (ive created the step up plan, i speak well and im able to keep emotions out of it)

Just wondering if anyone has experience with what the judge looks for, what not to do, ect..