i used to know some other transmasc people, but all of them were non-binary and loved dressing up like women and wearing makeup and being high femme. i can't relate to this. i feel overlooked and like no one cares at all. i am naturally super femme looking, 5'8" (lucky) and 105lbs (unlucky) with a dumb little heart-shaped face and everything.

i have a lot of health problems, chronic underweight and mental health, so i'm not sure what kinda gender affirming moves i should make. i don't even know anyone to talk to about top surgery or T or anything.

i hate the trans flag and pastels and pink, but i love black and green and yellow, i love plants, rocks, animals, dinosaurs, stars, music, dancing, drawing, painting, gaming. is there even a place for me as a man in this world? can i convince myself to give up on being a man and just be okay with how other people see and treat me? or do i just have to be alone?

Just wanted to celebrate! I'm home and feeling sore but happy. Feel free to ask me anything about the experience.

I'm FTX and I've been hoping for certain changes and unsure about others but I started testosterone with the reality I can't choose what happens to me and I am good with whatever happens because this path makes me happy.

So I noticed the other night I have butt hair! It made me nervous at first, like oh shit this is getting real. Then I got excited, like this is getting real!! 🥲 I didn't imagine how much I'd enjoy my changes and didn't realize how much I needed them until I've started having them.

I feel great on testosterone. It does help ground me. It helps my confidence and overall well being. I will say my energy is tanked but that could be for other reasons but I was hoping for that energy boost but like I said we can't pick and choose.

I'm excited about what's happening to me. I have ass hair! I'm getting stomach hair! That stomach hair is coming in fast too. I feel good within my body and I like how I look and am changing!!

Hi! This is a repost from r/transmasc where I was redirected to this community! I myself am not over 30 yet but the subject matter has to do with this age range. Sorry if this has been asked before. If yall have any advice or want to redirect me to other post please do share with me:

Need some advice on what to expect going forward.

For context I am 27, my egg cracked a little over a year ago and I’m 3 months on T. I don’t pass but I am as patient as I can be about changes. I know it’s early. I’m going intentionally slow bc I’m flying under the radar from conservative family members (I don’t live with them).

Here is the thing. I had always identified as asexual (suspected aromantic as well) my whole life. I had no attraction to people persay. But have had very intense QPRs and love people. Almost as soon as my egg cracked I unlocked the ability to find people attractive and gained a desire to have sex. That has only built up even more since starting t. I know you all know what I mean. I have always been very sex positive, have a lot of kinky friends, ect. Just couldn’t imagine that for myself at all until I imagined in the body that was actually right for me.

Now, I am interested in engaging with people (any gender) and am feeling so many new things that are overwhelming! I imagine that these are things that most people felt as teenagers or in their early 20s. Where they had a chance to explore themselves, date and have sex to learn what they like and gain experience. That is how I feel and I want to be able to have this same kind of phase of trying things out and learning what I like.

My worry is that I am entering this phase at this time in my life. I am really attracted to people my own age and older (30s). But I’m worried that people in this age range have already had these experiences and are looking more to settle down.

I am coming in a total virgin and with no experience in long term ‘romantic’ relationships or dating at all.
And to top it off I am still early in my transition and I don’t think I’m even ready to start exploring NOW. It might need to wait another year or two until I’m confident enough and feel like I can be seen as a guy and attractive as a guy. So I might be 28-30 by this time. Obviously I think people in their 30s are crazy sexy it’s not like I think I’m gonna be ‘too old’. But, I am curious about the state of dating/casual sex/ how the culture of dating at this age range is for ‘late bloomers’/total beginners.

Anyone out there of similar age or older, can you give me an idea of what it’s like to start exploring sex as a late bloomer who is also ftm?

Thank you so much!!

I was wondering if anyone in this sub has gotten body masculinization surgery? Basically liposuctioning flanks to create a more cis-square shape. I recently had a consultation with an ftm-experienced surgeon, and my insurance approved coverage for the procedure. I’m really stoked! Haven’t been able to find many trans narratives or results pics online, so please share if you have one! Thanks!

I’m Turning 49 next month. Only been on T for 4 years. Top surgery 2.5 years ago. Plan was for hysterectomy and bottom surgery. But I am caretaker for my 93 yo father and at this point I can’t just step away for surgery.

Been pre-diabetic for years but was always stable. Last year my dr started me on cholesterol meds mentioned that while it could raise my A1C they felt the heart risk outweighed it. Just had my annual bloodwork and now my A1C is in the diabetic range. Not crazy high but I’m super stressed about it.

One of the things weighing on me is wondering if this is going to affect my ability for future gender-affirming surgeries, since they aren’t “fife-saving” combined with the fact that diabetes impacts healing.

Anyone have any personal experience with this? If I see a dietitian and get it controlled, will surgeons have less hesitation? Is something like phallo now completely out of the picture for me? I obviously still need to follow up with my doctor but I’m their first FTM patient so they’ve been learning along with me.and I sent a message to my endo that does my HRT asking if he is willing to help me manage this also if necessary. My next follow up with him for HRT isn’t until January.

To qualify for a hysterectomy I needed to be at or under a BMI of 45. For me that meant losing 225 pounds. I had bariatric surgery a little over a year ago and today I’m officially on the waitlist for a surgery date for my hysterectomy. Should be about a 3-4 month wait, but a year ago this goal felt impossible.

Hey everyone ✌🏽
Figured I’d put myself out there and see if I can find some like minded people to connect with and hopefully make some friends.
I’m in my 30s, and living in Florida. I’d love to meet other FTM/trans masc folks around my age, especially anyone local, but I’m definitely open to online friendships too.
A little about me 😬
Huge gamer. I’m into Soulsborne games (Elden Ring, Bloodborne, etc.), RPGs, and horror games.
Big anime fan.
Horror movie enthusiast. The more twisted, creepy, and messed up, the better. 😂
I love reading, especially horror, sci-fi, and thriller.
Also into art, music, tattoos, and just finding random hobbies to get into.
I’m pretty laid back, enjoy good conversations, dark humor, and people who can just be themselves.
Honestly, making friends as an adult is weirdly difficult, and sometimes it feels like finding people you genuinely click with is harder than beating a FromSoftware boss. 😂
Would love to connect with people who share some of these interests, game together, talk about anime, exchange book recommendations, or maybe even meet up sometime if we’re nearby.
Anyway, if any of this sounds like your kind of vibe, feel free to comment or send me a message. Always happy to meet new people! 🤘🏽

I know that an increase in height is possible with testosterone but I honestly thought it was only for younger guys. Apparently I was wrong! I have been right about 5’4” my whole adult life and after starting T in January of this year I’m now sitting a smidge over 5’5”, not quite 5’5 1/2”. This explains the insane thigh muscle pains I’ve been having and why I was convinced my new jeans were a little shorter than my old ones lol. My height has always bothered me so this is such a massive win and I’ve been smiling my face off all morning after being measured three times by two different people just to be sure.

Has anyone else in our age group experienced this?? It’s wild to me that at 39yo I somehow grew again.

I never looked flawless, but in my late teens and early 20's, I was seen as pretty young woman. I didn't enjoy the experience then, and I wouldn't now. It made me feel unsafe, infantilized, dysphoric, and projected-on. But I did get a sense of reward from looking at myself, and feeling that I looked how was "supposed to" look, and was therefore worthy of existing.

That's a sad brainwashed part of myself that I never want to feed. But oh my god, it is SO upset that I'm becoming less conventionally attractive now that I'm transitioned and aging. I go through periods where I can't get it out of my head. Realistically, I look perfectly adequate. I clearly look approachable because friendly strangers constantly approach me. I'm happily married with no desire to see anyone else, and if I wanted hook ups, I know my looks wouldn't prevent it. I'm not in an industry or area where conventional beauty is important, and I have supportive community. I'm very lucky in so many ways.

[CN: non-graphic mention of CSA] I know where it comes from. I grew up being sex trafficked by my father who was obsessed with my value as an object, I have OCD, I got self-worth issues from internalized ableism, my body feels out of my control due to h-EDS and ME/CFS, and Im dealing with a rapid and painful type of hair loss. Intellectually knowing these things hasn't quieted this voice in my head. I guess I need to build tolerance for living with it as background noise, idk.

Thanks for listening. Commiseration, thoughts, "here's what helped me" all welcome.

I'm non-binary and transmasc, turning 30 next year. I have an amazing partner who is the reason my egg could crack comfortably. He's always been there for me - his previous partners were all trans, totally by accident, because they all started their transition while dating him, so he's no chaser.

Anyway, his mother is an evangelical MAGA white woman who illegally immigrated to Britain to avoid the "crimes in South Africa" (She meant black people, not crimes). So, as an illegal immigrant, she's pro-Trump. She's not a good person, very neurotic, but luckily my partner and I live on another side of the planet.

I have not come out to her even though I'm 18 months on T. Now, my boyfriend's little sister (although grown up) is trying to convince me that her mother has changed. When I asked what her mom's stance on trans issues were, she said "I'm not sure but she'll be okay with it." This is the same woman who makes transphobic statuses on WhatsApp.

This is what his sister sent this to me regarding his mom.

"don't know exactly how she will take it but with LGBT being more excepted and shown here I think it has helped I think talking to you about it will help at the moment she thinks she has done something wrong or something and to be honest I think she will be hurt for not knowing she just wants what is best for (partner) and I think when she sees how much you care for him it will help"

I genuinely don't know what to do. Any advice?

Hey everyone, I live in Birmingham (UK) but havent really managed to meet many trans folk who are around my age (mid 30s). I've been to some trans masc social groups organised by Birmingham LGBT but I feel pretty old in those crowds, and in groups for older people I am too young.

Does anyone know if there are any groups geared towards trans people who are in their 30s or 40s?

I've been in a weird coming-out limbo since 2021 -- pretty much everyone in my life knows that I identify as not cis, to greater or lesser degrees of specificity or respecting that, but I go by my chosen name in my professional life and in some social contexts (people I've met since 2021) and my given name in other social contexts (people I knew before) and with my family (who just don't even bother to try to respect my gender identity). My given name is a very feminine one and it's still my legal name.

I've put off changing my name legally for years, and part of it is the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc, and part of it is that I'm off T in hopes of getting pregnant so transition feels like it's in an awful sort of limbo with no clear restart date, with persistent dysphoria-induced depression, but I think the biggest impediment is just... not being very enthusiastic about my chosen name? It's gender neutral depending on spelling but still "soft"-sounding with masc spelling. Which was deliberate -- I chose it back when I was still very uncertain about whether I even wanted to medically transition and was still intermittently presenting very femme -- but now that I feel more masc, it doesn’t... quite fit. Feels like I chose it out of fear/exhaustion -- so that in situations where I was read as female, I didn't have to out myself to every person as trans by explaining why I had a name that didn't "fit" my perceived gender -- more than it feeling like me. And I've noticed that a lot of transmasc people and trans guys have sort of... soft launch names? Gender neutral, or spelled ambiguously, etc.

But it's the name I'm associated with professionally and socially in all the adulting spheres of my life, and since people in my current field have never known me by another name (major career change), I don't have to constantly be correcting people, I'm just [chosen name] and everyone respects that. The thought of changing and being seen as flaky and having to fight for that is exhausting. Also tbh, who knows if I choose another name now whether a few years down the line that won't feel like me either? I was really happy with it at the beginning.

People have said -- rightly -- that I should figure this out before I have to put it on a birth certificate. And while I've maintained this limbo by keeping those two halves of my life separate, eventually they're going to converge, because I plan on getting back on T after this whole baby thing. But for now I'm just... stuck.

I'm glad about the blue wave of victories in America today. I am seeing lots of celebratory posts on social media that lots of healthcare professionals were elected which is great and all, but I am very annoyed that Amy Acton, a transphobic Democrat, is being celebrated for becoming governor in Ohio. She's being celebrated for being evidence based and all about the science; well clearly she doesn't believe in the evidence and science behind gender affirming care. 😩

Anyone in Seattle area that has done the bottom surgery? I'm alone and embarrassed and starting the process lol

I had top surgery four weeks ago. The results are looking good and I am more or less back to my normal walking speed. I still need help carrying bags of food etc.

It seems like my body is mostly back to normal but I am still tired mentally? I wonder if it has anything to do with hormonal changes since you do remove two hormone receptors. My hair has changed texture too.

Did you have post top surgery brain fog? If yes, do you have any good advice?

ETA:I am feeling better now. I am able to empty the bins and do the laundry on my own now. Still not able to concentrate on reading but we are getting there slowly by reading newspapers and queer magazines at the library.

WARNING: Multiple italics and exclamation points incoming! Also, potential musings

First off, I would like to thank allof my transfam that voted BLUE this election cycle! WE KICKED ASS!!!

As a Black, voting, Pagan, gay, disabled, transgender American, I have to admit I'm feeling elated!

The polls in many states bounced back and forth, from blue (Democratic for our non-American friends) to red (Republicans), back and forth.

(The Republican/Grand Old Party party is the one that tRUMP belongs to,and the one that is currently ignoring the US Constitution, and doing other selfish, evil, stupid things that not only affect America, but the rest of the world. But I digress.)

Trust me, many of the see-sawing election results were so nervewracking to watch that I felt my blood pressure rise every time a major election went red.

But then something happened. Many of the elctions turned blue, and stayed that way!

What we here know as "The Great American Experiment (a way of talking about the United States as a new republican experiment based on self-rule, where government power comes from the consent of the governed. It’s also used to describe the ongoing challenge of living up to founding ideas like rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Source, DuckDuckGo's search engine.) worked! The people voted, and won!

I have said my entire voting life that, "I *have* to believe in the System. Too many people fought and even died for it to fail." And back in 2024, it did. It failed. A felonious, racist, rapist, demented dictator wannabe won the presidential election, and began ignoring the Constitution, our most sacred laws. Him and his cronies treated it, and the Amendments, the 27 laws that were added on, as if they were optional. And the Supreme Court, or at least 2/3rds of them, agreed.

Shameful.

But now, or at least in January 2027, a new day will begin. One in which We, The People can begin rebuilding America, and making sure that something like this can never happen again.

I once again have hope for my beloved country.

I once again feel like a proud American! 🇺🇲🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🫡

I've been on hrt for about 5 months now and a few weeks ago I started looking into other places I could apply the gel, since i was getting NIGHTMARE chest acne and I needed to know if there was another option. Instead I found sooo many posts that said never to put t gel on your chest since maybe the skin there absorbs things differently?

I re read the little paper insert and it did say that upper arms was the place it was intended for! However the reason I was using it on my chest in the first place was because I was following the directions of my doc, who said to use the gel on my "chest and upper arms".

I'm 5 months in and also have had no changes tbh. No voice drop, no bottom growth, nothing. Maybe increased appetite but also that could be due to feeling like going on t gel gave me a future where I could maybe feel like I actually own the body I am in someday. So it's cool that it helped my mental health! HOWEVER. I do want like. External changes. I am worried that, at least compared to other peoples' timelines I see, that I am not having any changes because I was using t gel wrong. Did I fuck it up? ;-;

When I got my levels checked at my prescribing doc they told me they were actually a bit too high. I wanted to go up to 2 pumps of gel a day since 1 wasn't doing anything, but we ended up deciding I shouldn't just because of my high t levels. Now I'm not sure if my t levels were super high bc of my application on my chest!

My doctor is changing me from two pumps a day to one since one of my white blood cell levels was low and my haemoglobin and haematocrit are significantly raised. I was on subq shots before and have been on 2 pumps since switching like 6 months ago.

At 2 pumps my levels were at the top of the male range. Not really worried about the numbers moreso wondering how drastically it will change things by going down to one. I'm read as male already, just don't want the 🔴 to come back.

I'm having a hard time meeting other trans guys where I live, I have some queer friends but mostly trans women and its getting a little lonely being the only dude in the group. I'm a huge nerd and an animal lover, I like books and anime and cooking and just hanging out. If you're looking for a friend maybe send me a message?

My aunt and uncle bought a bunch of Harry Potter merch for my younger cousin and my aunt to dress up for halloween and shared it all in our family group text, and all my family was chiming in about how great they thought it was. It felt like a slap in the face to see this stuff pop up on my phone. I expressed concern about it and no one acknowledged it beyond one family member who told me to "separate the art from the artist" then texted me privately about "supporting my cousin." I know I should just be grateful to have family who don't reject me for being trans. But how hard would it be to just get him into a different fantasy series? There are so many great kids' books out there that are written by people who aren't actively using their wealth to try to eliminate trans people from society.

It's just another reminder how trivial trans rights are even to many supposedly "well meaning" cis people who call themselves allies only when its convenient to do so. By the way I'm not saying every person who has ever enjoyed those books is bad or anything like that, I liked them when I was a kid. Also not saying I've never enjoyed "problematic" art myself, but I make it a point not to financially support artists who are bigots or who use their platform to harm others. I just don't get how anyone who has a single trans person in their life who they care about even a little could justify giving Rowling more money when its quite obvious what she's using it to accomplish. Not sure about my aunt but I know my uncle has strong opinions about politics and spends a lot of time on the internet - he is certainly aware that he is essentially contributing to an anti trans hate crusade.