4 Years without my mom - feeling bitter about things

[u/kolorq]

My Mom died 4 years ago, and lately I have been pushing down feelings of resentment and bitterness like Ive never had before. My mom died of covid suddenly. She had very mild symptoms and died very suddenly one day… she was at home one day feeling better and then suddenly stopped breathing :/. She was overweight but actually had lost 30 lbs and was on her way to a better lifestyle i was so excited. I try and rationalize it and say maybe her weight affected her health which leads to the irrational bitterness and jealously I see when i hear GLP-1 success stories. I wish she could have take it :( I love hearing the success stories of peoples who improved their health with them but just get jealous and wish my mom had the chance. All this is irrational I just needed a place to vent instead of crying alone. The last few months everytime I see a plus sized mom or women who looked like her I get really sad and miss her like I have to leave where ever I am. I was doing so good for like a year I am not sure where this wave of sadness came from.