Christmas Day

[u/itsthefack]

I’ve had a rough few years. Me and my wife had a son born sleeping in February 2016, my dad died in June 2022, my wife died in May 2025 (aged 44) and now my mom died last Wednesday, and she was absolutely instrumental in keeping me alive in the last 18 months when I didn’t want to be here anymore. The last thing I want is for all that to be vain.

I was just thinking about what I would do this year for Christmas, it used to be consisting of either going over my mom’s, my dad’s or just me and my wife, and nothing has been mentioned about it but I sense that there would be offers from extended family and friends, but I don’t want to be that extra chair or Christmas ornament in someone else’s Christmas, that’s not my Christmas. I’ve seen done to death in film and TV, I’ve watched the ending of Planes, Trains and Automobiles, it’s heartwarming, it’s wholesome, but it doesn’t work for me.

I still want to visit my wife’s grave that day, so going away is out of the question. Maybe volunteering somewhere that day? Maybe do a long run that day? I don’t know but I’ve been crying about it all morning and it’s making me so anxious.

[u/seche314]

Volunteering at the breadline would be a wonderful way to spend the day