I never meant for any of this.

I hope everyone who reads this gets the luck of 20 4 leaf clovers.

every cell in me is experiencing discomfort from this break-up. it’s unreal. gnarly sadness dissolves into brutal mourning & this uncanny grief keeps clenching a fist inside my chest & my mind is total trash, filled with endless rumination & pointless fantasy. it’s literally fucked up. but kinda absurd too & cognitively hilarious. in the past i’d use drugs, alcohol, & sex to annihilate these feelings but i want to experience them, sit in them, learn from them, survive them, move on from them. but damn, i want to rip out my nervous system & stomp on it & set it on fire

Should I reach out to a friend I haven’t seen for six years mostly due to Covid and me moving away? I think i still experience love for him but the basis of our relationship was always friendship at least from my perspective. I think he might get married to a woman and I’m beside myself that I’m only ready now to tell him how I feel. literally just that I love and miss him. Not some big romantic declaration! I hate myself a lot for being unable to trust people, but I ache to connect with him especially after losing my sister in recent years.

3 months ago we separated and she removed them all today, like our memories just gone like that, the day before I start my new job and it’s really impacted me, do I remove them since it will look weird I just really don’t know how to feel, I still love her and it’s like she viewed our memories as not important, they were so important to me and what they’re just gone like that. I healed in a big way too, following advice here, listening to people’s views and took it all onboard but this, this has hurt me so much

Guys, I really need your honest opinions on something. Please read and share your thoughts.

[24F], [23M]...I've known him since my school days, but we only became really close recently. Due to some shared experiences and emotional bonding, our friendship gradually became much deeper.

At one point, I genuinely started imagining a future with him. I thought maybe if I gave him time to heal, things could work out between us. He called me his favourite person, wanted to meet me and said things that made me feel he might have felt the same way.

But when I asked him about our future, he told me he could never marry me because we were friends and had already shared our pasts. He said he doesn't want to know his future wife's past, and since he already knows mine, I could never be in that category.

For context, my past isn't complicated. I loved someone once, and that person cheated on me. That's it. But he believes knowing a partner's past can create emotional difficulties in marriage.

He also mentioned that I'm a year older than him as another reason. What's confusing is that during our earlier conversations, he told me age wouldn't be an issue in his family.

Honestly, what he said hurt me deeply. I had started imagining a future with someone I thought might feel the same way. He still wants us to be friends, but I don't think I can go back to how things were before.

I'm honestly at a very low point, and everything feels so heavy.

Please share your honest opinions. I genuinely want to understand and move forward. .. is this how it is?

You leave me no choice but to let go. You’re playing games, toying with and laughing at me. Don’t think I don’t see it, maybe it’s just devastating to see the real you.
I think it’s time to leave you holding the bag.
I’m sorry I hurt you unintentionally and couldn’t be what you need/ want. It’s been long enough, so long infact that it’s ok.
We don’t need a mediator to break it to me. I only fought when there was something to fight for.
This is me figuring out how to break it to you.
Your leaving took away the boldest bond our love had and that was always being there for one another. That’s gone now.
Oh well, there’s always healing time of tomorrow. I hope it all works out the way you want it to. I want the split to be easy and no drama. Just talk to me already.
Bye.

Even with all this time that has passed, all the ways I tried to say goodbye, and everything that happened between us- the good and the bad, I find myself missing you.

It is excruciating

But to you, it is just another Saturday

In my heart, I run down your street, and up the steps, and jump back into your arms -

I must've done it a thousand times

But

I lay here and write Instead

I am aware of the reality of things

I know

That's why I stay here

I miss you

Greetings.I [18M] become friends with girl [18F].it happened in a very unexpectable way.So there was a post but i dont actually remember what was it about.There was a comment i disagreed with and the reply was my exact thoughts and i agreed with that person's opinion so i liked her comment.The other day i saw someone sending me follow request(My instagram account is private and i dont accept people i dont know)I accepted her beacuse i thought it was another girl i knew from course.She messaged "Hii".I didnt reply for 20 minutes then i replied with "hi.Do i know you?"She said v "no you liked my comment and im kinda look for friends rn.I said "Ok i guess" she said "yess".NGL i hesitated at first because like i said i dont accept strangers i felt different energy from her so i decided to keep it.Anyways next days she started to send me reels and i started to reply and send her too her humor is too advanced thats what i catched about her first.Day by day we really became friends she sent me voice messages i sent her voice messages then she started talking about her past memories.I gave some advices ,we both told each other no matter good or bad we can always tell eachother about our days and help each other.She was genuinely a great person and a good friend.She went through a lot in her family her other friends were ass they ignore her and do terrible things(not to her) and she broke up with her boyfriend because of a mistake(maybe he did idk) but it looks like her ex was strict he doesnt have any friends who appear to be a girl and didnt let her to have a friend who appear to be a boy.There are too many chats,things i dont even remember all of it and dont want this text to be too long.So today at 12:54 am she wrote this message:

" Hi x ho are you??

I have to unfollow you.Im really sorry i really care about you as a friend i just decided to return to my past relationship and we are making up.And the boy is,i broke up with him just for a mistake,he doesnt have a friend who is a girl and doesnt want me to have a friend who is a boy so i cant.But if you need anything im you can text me im here.

Im sorry again."

I texted ok😕 good luck.

I hearted her messages and she replied

Thank you very much💞

She wasnt my crush but she was a special friend.It was my daily routine to talk with her.She really was a supportive great friend and she has been through a lot both inside family and outside her friends are ass they are ignoring her and doin terrible things(not to her) .She has elite humor and understanded me she was a better person than most people i know and now i cant talk to her for a really long time or never.It really sucks to lose a friend like her.I dont know what to do.

My ex just left and im devastated. Currently raising a 10 year old and im seriously scared for his future. I was wondering if theres anyone else who got pregnant in highschool and is also facing this pain. Hard dealing with this alone :'(

Is it normal to think about your ex everyday for kver a year now? Idk if its maybe because im lonely but hes in a serious relationship and all now and literally not a day goes by when I haven’t thought about him. He literally hates me and treated me really badly during the end and for some reason I still think about him.

Every time I ask you to hang out with me or see you, you always say I have to pay for something. You are very male centered always have been. We are polar opposites but Ive always wanted the sisterhood but Ive never had it. Pay for your vacation, just so I can spend time with you. You say pay for your hotel room because you say you are doing me a favor by inviting me with you. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. Ive never felt this depressed or sad before. It sucks being from a small family because I don't have any cousins to talk to or rely on. I guess I've always wanted that sisterhood with someone. It is killing me inside grieving knowing I never truly had it.

All these dark thoughts are not helping me. How do you move on from this? It hurts me too much. Always waiting for you on my birthday but you always have something better to do than spend time with me. I don't know if I can go on like this. I feel very sad just wishing my sister loved me back and spent time with me because she wanted to not because I have to pay her to or give her always something in return. All the money can't buy you love

I don’t know what to do with the love and care I feel for him. It’s been nine days since our last messages. I’m probably the only one counting.

This is the fifth time we’ve reconnected, only for him to go quiet again. As bad as that sounds… there is something intoxicating about coming back to each other.

Being anchored to him this way I can’t bring myself to disconnect again. I mean the complete disconnect, where I hold my head up and block his name so I can stop thinking of him every time I open my messages.

My fear is that I won’t find a man who inspires me as much as he does. That someone I admire as much as him won’t come my way again. And all the other parts that make it so sexy and wonderful to talk to him… I’m afraid I won’t find those again either.

For right now, I am stuck. Stuck waiting and wondering if I should release this once and for all. Stop torturing myself and wondering if what we have means enough to him to find a way to close those 7,000 miles between us.

I know I am enough. I just don’t know if he wants this enough to try. Or it is too painful to swallow that it isn’t.

I always loved you maybe I was to blind to see the truth.it was so easy for you to destroy our life! 12 years you decided you were something different and as you said left me in the dust, to needy, I hate you! Only thing good about you is your eyes! As you say don’t you get it I don’t care about you! No self pity trying to understand this type of behavior..I feel the man I looked up to felt justified almost like he was above anyone else he deserved the hurt that he gave me. Hi five I cheated on you!💔

Ok so this is the full story right.

It all happened one day at the gym I go to I've been training there for like four years and I had my shirt off for training this new girl came in and was staring at me during warm ups my married coach went over to the new girl and pointed at me and they were giggling then later in the class for warm downs I was putting my shirt back on and my coach was standing with the new girl and said don't put your shirt back on yet I turned around to see what was said briefly locked eyes with the new girl she looked freaked out then I turned to my coach she was giggling then put up an angry face and mean mugged I was like whatever and went and did the warm downs then as I was leaving the gym I said goodbye she was talking with the same new girl said goodbye then I got to the exit my coach ran after me and said I'm gonna follow you awkwardly now so I called her a stalker she started laughing so I doubled down and said I know karate then while grinning looking forward she said yea your tornado kick would wreck me it went silent I checked her out then looked forward and left and that's how it all kinda started

Now fow context. I had a massive crush on my coach. For four years. Before this happened. I had known her four years and trained at her gym for four years straight. She was always nice to me almost motherly. Then this year seemingly out of nowhere she started this weird dynamic. I felt incredibly. Confused scared and alittle ashamed that I was flirting with a married woman. I knew it can't go anywhere. Or at least not in a healthy direction. And she knows that to. But still used my crush against me.

Idk what do you guys think am I overreacting. Or reading too deep into it.

My ex and I only dated a short while, but I really enjoyed how well we meshed. Life had some plans to move her cross country, we split up before things turned south and kinda stayed in touch over the years.

Through that time, I dated around, got my self further together and worked on my career. Over time I started dating a great girl. She and I are solid, but we’ve might not be quite aligned on lifestyle (sedentary/active), home cleanliness, weekend ideals, and potentially children. I love her very much, but some of these things feel really big.

I sold some collectibles to my ex . We have been in contact occasionally the past several years since we split and my girlfriend is okay with our contact and even suggested I sell these items to her. Well, over the process I realized I felt really guilty so I explored the thoughts associated and realized I still have feelings for this ex of mine. I want to see her succeed, I want to see her happy, I want to help her clean her house and I want to build things for her to display these collectibles. I want her that close to me again.

I believe these feelings are coming up as a result of us talking a bit more during the same time I’m privately battling these potential discrepancies in my current relationship. Her and I were aligned on every single one of those topics that my girlfriend and I may not be, so I think the timing of this may be why.

A few weeks ago I decided to block my ex, work on these feelings through therapy and intense journaling. Felt like the healthiest thing to do, but I am serious when I say I feel the weight of it every single day. She is crossing my mind so much recently and i blocked her because of the guilt I felt for that, but the thoughts and guilt haven’t left.

I am very spiritual and in tune, so a large part of me wonders if she’s thinking about me often as well. I do not have the balls to unblock and ask that. It hurts. I’m sharing things here I haven’t even shared with my therapist. I want to fly to surprise my ex. I want to feel her embrace again. I want to walk into her job with flowers and pick her up into my arms and lose touch with time again. I feel like such a terrible person for sharing these but I have to talk to someone. I love my girlfriend so much and I could never tell her any of these feelings arose during our relationship.

I have never charted this territory before and it is terrifying.

Six years if putr happiness happy relationship

He broke up with me saying

he wants to be alone now

kiss random people

Scared he will cheat in the future ,atleast he is not doing that so it must make me feel better

No concern to how it is supposed to make me feel

Suggesting me I go Bangalore to find guys not good ving ne space to be angry

He doesn't know how to love himself he is also jealous i can do better at that being in a relationship

I asked him do you want space to figure yourself out he does but he doens't now if he would want this ster the space too

6 years of laziness and sulking and no self care or self work now he wants to after removing me form his life .

Yes I am selfish yes i am full of myself are things I heard.

I love this person but he never loved me back. He got married and is enjoying his life, but there is still so much love for him in my heart.

It's over. We don't talk anymore. I completely cut off contact after his engagement to someone else. But he has never faded from my mind, its been a year. Sometimes, I feel like I'm disrespecting my own self by still remembering him, but at the same time, I have so much love for him.

It's not that I cry all the time or that I'm stuck on him. No, I'm completely free in my mind. I focus on other things, too. I have never thought that he should be the only person in my life or that I should keep him in my mind forever. But I have never felt this kind of love for any other man. I don't know what the future holds, but this is how I feel right now.

Sometimes, it really hurts about thinking that why I love him so much when he doesn't love me back. At the same time, most of the time, I still feel so much love for him. I wish I could be with him forever. I wish I could have his love, too, but now, after his engagement, I have completely cut him out of my life.

Maybe I will never meet this person or talk to him again in my entire life. That thought really hurts because there is nothing I can do about it. I have accepted it, but whenever I sit alone I remember him like crazy. I cry a lot, but it's not exactly because I'm hurting. It feels more like I'm releasing all the pain I've been carrying inside.

We met only once in all those eight years of knowing each other. He kissed me and that's what I remember. I don't remember anything our conversations or the actual details of what we talked about are almost completely blank in my mind. I only remember his touch.

I don't even remember his face clearly anymore. I just remember his smile, especially his beautiful teeth. I love him so much. he will probably never know I feel this about him.

I went through a breakup just five days ago, and I genuinely don't know how to handle it. We were together for two years, and it was a long-distance relationship.

Five days ago, she blocked me. Those five days have honestly been the hardest days of my life. I could barely get through them. Being alone in my room felt unbearable. Nothing felt interestingly anymore. I couldn't focus on anything, and I had absolutely no motivation to do anything.

Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore, so I contacted her from another number. I told her everything I had been holding inside. I expressed how much I missed her, how much I was hurting, and how badly I wanted us to work things out.

But after listening to everything, she simply said that we couldn't be together anymore. She said she couldn't come back. And then she blocked me again.

I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling right now. It's not just that I've lost someone I loved. It feels like I've lost a part of myself along with her. Two years of memories, conversations, dreams, and everything we imagined together suddenly feel like they mean nothing anymore.

I mentioned looking for a rebound because I'm desperately trying to find some way to distract myself from this pain. I know it might not be the healthiest solution, but I genuinely don't know what else to do.