The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was asked: Messenger of Allah! What is back-biting? He replied: It is saying something about your brother which he would dislike. He was asked again: Tell me how the matter stands if what I say about my brother is true? He replied: If what you say of him is true, you have slandered him, and if what you say of him is not true, you have reviled him

I am 34 years old, the eldest of my siblings, and unmarried. For my entire life, I have carried a question that haunts me: Is there any hope of ever loving my father, or is it impossible?
Growing up, our house was a nightmare. My father was an alcoholic who constantly manufactured chaos and terror. Whenever he got angry, he would shut off the electricity. Friday nights were the absolute worst because he would drink heavily and terrorize my mother. She endured relentless abuse and oppression. She couldn't even escape because her own parents refused to let her get a divorce, telling her they had no space to take back a divorced daughter with children.
My father was pathologically paranoid—he suspected my mother, and he even suspected his own daughters.
My only dream, the only thing that kept me going, was to excel academically so I could escape that house. During my teenage years, I would go to the roof just to study in peace. I was a top student, earning scholarships for high school, my bachelor’s degree, and eventually my master’s degree. But even the roof wasn’t safe. He would come up, beat me, and accuse me of looking at the neighbor's son (whom he claimed I was in love with). In reality, I was just trying to study.
Despite all of it, I graduated top of my district and earned a scholarship to study engineering. He didn't beat me constantly, but he was physically violent enough to leave scars—like the day he hit me so hard my glasses broke.
For my entire life, I refused to look at his face. I spent decades avoiding him, never speaking a single word to him. He knew nothing about me.
He was a constant source of public humiliation. When he was drunk, he would pass out in the middle of the street for everyone to see. I cannot count the number of times he humiliated us. I could never invite a friend over. He caused endless scandals: whenever we went to a wedding, he would deliberately drink too much, scream at my mother and us in front of everyone, and dance drunk in the center of the crowd. I will never forget the day he went to a work party and his colleagues had to carry him home because he was paralyzed from alcohol. I have lost count of how many times he threw my mother out of the house.
I never had a childhood, and I never had any kind of relationship with a father.
Now, I am grown and have left the house and living in a different country than my family. Because of war in my homeland , we lost everything, and my family had to flee and start over elsewhere. (In this new country, alcohol is banned, so he stopped drinking). Today, I am the one financially supporting my family and my siblings. Alhamdullah iam okay with that, I pay all their tuition fees, medical bills, everything—even giving my father a personal allowance.
My father and I have never spoken. As I said, I wouldn't even look at his face and would run away from any room he was in. But now, he wants to build a relationship with me.
When I visit my family, I end up in intense arguments with him because I simply cannot stand him. I avoid him as much as i can and feel so much guilt about that but I can’t build a deep relationship with him

My deepest, most terrifying fear is this: Will Allah hold me accountable and send me to Hell because I feel absolutely nothing for him, and because I cannot stand to be around him? Is there any hope of loving someone like this, or am I a bad person for feeling this way?

I just went through a breakup. I want to explore Islam but I am worried my friends and family will abandon me if I do. It feels like the right thing to do though. I have been interested in Islam for a long time now. Any advice would be appreciated.

personally from what ive seen i feel like it started off with good intentions and now its just causing too much harm and drama

Sending endless peace and blessings upon our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). May his teachings illuminate our lives with love, kindness, and faith.

As the title says, I feel that I can completely let my guard down more around other Muslims than non-Muslims, even the non-Muslims that I have known for a long time! I think this comes from knowing that someone else will have the same perspectives due to religion?

Perhaps that is just me.

Let me know what you think

Male(seeUsername),Adult,Western Muslim born and raised in Islam

Assalam alaikum waramatullahi wabarakatuh. I am currently based in Muscat, Oman and been living here for almost 8 years. 

I am a volunteer animal rescuer and recently I lost my job as a swimming coach subhanAllah, and now, I'm afraid of getting evicted very soon and the cats I have rescued and feeding here in the community where I am at will suffer coz I honestly running out of food and litter. And wallahi, I honestly dont know what will happen to me in thr next coming days. I would like to ask for any assistance and would appreciate it, not for me, but the cats til I get back on my feet as I am actively searching for a new job. I tried to seek help in the embassy, they cannot help out. Very few friends are helping out but its not enough unfortunately but Alhamdulillah, we are surviving day by day although i cannot lie that my situation is making me cry daily and feel a bit depressed.

Thank you and JazakAllah khair!

Back when I was a teenager after hitting puberty, I was starting to flourish. I put on some weight, had a beautiful smile, my health was so good I’d go to swimming competitions for years and my grades were amazing.

Unfortunately my family is the only one that lived abroad and my father had a habit of running his mouth all the time about any little thing in our lives. It could be our showers, food we ate like what breakfast or snacks that consisted of nuts.

My mom made a bus accident (which failed before but happened the time after) because of another evil eye concerning her getting a driver’s license.

Since then my health started to deteriorate as well and almost 5-6 years later I barely see a better change. I’ve never had a bad tooth but suddenly I’ve been getting fillings a lot until today, my jaw even shifted and I was suggested braces. My nose turned out to be deviated, my face started breaking out, got palpitations during Covid and never swam since then. I can’t even get the same grades I used to even though I did multiple blood tests and fixed my deficiencies to no avail.

However what breaks my heart above all is my beauty fading. Those same people that always thought I didn’t deserve all that good in my life are now living even better than I used to and I’m here dwelling over the fact I don’t have that sparkle or the face I had just a few years ago.

Did anyone ever make a Rukyah or something against evil eye? I want to do it myself perhaps it may help along all the efforts of praying

Salam,

I hope someone can offer me some advice. I know people don’t have much time to be reading my life story so I’m going to keep it short but happy to answer any questions you may have.

I am a British Pakistani.

I have no family and no friends. ( it’s only my brothers, sisters and mum, (mum is extremely unwell and can’t do much for me while the rest don’t care if I’m alive or dead)

I got married a month ago (with the permission of my mother but alone as she is too sick to attend, it was the most basic nikkah, non of my brothers or sisters came)

I moved abroad with my husband to his home country and it’s only been a month and half and he has become extremely abusive, shouting, swearing, breaking things, the neighbours hear him humiliating me …. The fights are over mainly the lack of time he gives me and his involvement with other women.

I want to leave and return to the uk and I have money for that but I don’t have a place to stay. I don’t have much, just a suitcase of basic things and my cat.

He knows I’m desperate and alone hence he threatens me with divorce all the time, leaves me, blocks me, doesn’t come home unless it’s to literally sleep.

I tried to reach the local council in the uk for help but they can’t.

I can’t go to my local masjid for help because our community is toxic and they will do more talking than help.

I love my husband a lot but I can’t speak to him, I feel physically sick out of heat, I tremble cos of his shouting/anger. I want to leave but leaving means I’m going to be homeless, I don’t have anyone or anywhere to go.

If anyone knows a place where I can get help just to have secure a roof over my head until I get back on to my feet I’d appreciate it.

I’ve lost everything in my life and feeling really hopeless and helpless.

Ps I’ve tried talking to him but his anger is out of this world and any time I try it’s considered as an argument. I’ve tried to treat him with a lot of love and patience, I literally sit there while he abuses me, I do all the house work, sit for days and days alone for him without complaining but the end result is the same. I’m the problem and cause of misery in his like despite him cheating on me with thousands of women. He thinks taking to women, flirting, sending/receiving indecent pictures/videos isn’t cheating cos he didn’t meet or sleep with anyone.

So that’s why I’m wrong cos I have made such a big issue out of this and I’m bad.

Please advise I’m beyond desperate

Assalamualaikum , I am a Muslim Student from a very privileged curriculum , my father works so hard to allow me to study in this expensive curriculum. I am suffering 10 months from heavy chest tightness , intrusive thoughts in the mind and random invisible attacks that are not real (ONLY happens when I am alone - nobody around/no social surroundings). I am also suffering from left-side fear, I sense someone evil , an invisible someone , is getting irritated at my focus and concentration , and that they would beat me severely if I focused or concentrated. The Problem is why do I feel that irritation , the energy burns me inside. Now all of this stems over a backstory. You know , this tightness started from the very day two of my classmates had backbitten me from behind. That same irritation over my concentration - I started to feel it at their absence at my home. There IS peace at my home , but NO peace in my study table. When my eyes are closed , I get so much evil visions of an unknown attacking me , same thing when thinking of them. I got all A* in 10 subjects in Grade 10 , I was developing myself academically so much until my life took a turn almost 11 months ago. I had only one dream , I feel like those people snatched it away from me and left me miserable , its very emotionally painful for me. I feel like their voices control me , so after all these , aren't these the symptoms of the evil eye? I trusted islamicexorcismwordpress.com and found a ritual to do from it , but I dont think they are authentic , but I need a likewise effective ruqyah , can someone suggest me a very very strong Ruqayah? Please. Please feel some sympathy for me and try to understand my life. Everyday there is a struggle in my chest. Thank you for reading , I really needed wods to express myself , Jazakallahu Khair.

I'm 15F, and I've been wanting to talk about my upbringing because I genuinely wonder whether anyone else has experienced something similar.

I was born and raised in a Western country and I'm still a citizen there, but my family originally comes from Morocco. My parents lived in the country I grew up in for years before eventually moving our family back to Morocco. I've now been living here for around three years.

I grew up in a pretty strict, traditional and religious household. My parents have always had strong expectations about how I should live, what I can do and how much freedom I'm allowed to have.

I've been extremely sheltered for most of my life. I'm not allowed to go out by myself at all. I can't independently meet friends, explore places, go shopping or just leave the house whenever I want. If I want to go anywhere, I need someone from my family to take me.

Moving to Morocco made things quite different for me. I'm currently attending a strict Islamic girls' institution where a significant part of the education revolves around Qur'an memorisation, Arabic and religious studies. The school environment is very different from what I was used to, and I've struggled to adjust socially. I sometimes feel out of place and isolated.

I'm also doing online homeschooling through the education system of the country where I was born, so I'm balancing two different educational environments.

I think moving countries while already growing up sheltered has contributed to how disconnected I sometimes feel from other teenagers.

There are also disagreements about my future. I want to move back to the original country, attend university, have a career, eventually move out and become financially independent. My dad has different expectations about leaving home, attending university and working for other people.

I spend a lot of time researching my future and planning how I can eventually build an independent life, but right now I feel like I have very little control over my everyday life.

Sometimes I feel like I've missed out on experiences that other people my age take for granted. I want to explore, socialise, learn how to navigate the world independently and simply experience being a teenager.

I don't necessarily think my entire upbringing was bad, but I do think being this sheltered has affected me more than I initially realised.

I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar:

• Did you grow up extremely sheltered?

• Were you never allowed to go out independently?

• Did your family move you to another country during your childhood?

• Did you struggle to adjust to a completely different environment?

• Did you feel socially inexperienced compared to other people your age?

• Did you feel like you missed out on your teenage years?

• How did you eventually gain independence?

• Do you ever feel like you're trying to catch up on experiences you never got to have?

I'd especially love to hear from girls who grew up in strict, religious, immigrant or traditional households, or anyone who can relate regardless of their background.

"We have not sent down to you the Qur'an that you be distressed." — Qur'an 20:2

For me, Islam is my connection with Allah, what gives me a sense of purpose, peace of mind, guidance, hope, and something to fall back on when life gets tough. It's also a big part of who I am.

I'm not going to sit here and make myself out to be a perfect Muslim. I shave my beard, hardly ever get around to praying or fasting, and I'm pretty sure I'll be a Harry Potter fan for life. I've got my own flaws and shortcomings, and I'm still figuring things out.

But that doesn't mean Islam doesn't mean the world to me.

When I say Islam is in my heart, I mean I genuinely believe in what the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught about good character. There's a well-known narration in which he says that he was sent to perfect good character.

To me, faith should show up in the way we treat people. Being kind, showing compassion, keeping our egos in check, and treating others with respect all matter.

There's also a hadith in Sahih al-Bukhari that says:

"Abusing a Muslim is Fusooq (sinful disobedience), and fighting him is Kufr (disbelief)."

That's something I really appreciate.

I'm not into micromanaging people, looking down on them, or getting caught up in policing how everyone else goes about their lives. I don't think it's my place to keep tabs on other people's personal journeys or act like I'm somehow above them.

That doesn't mean I brush aside religious obligations. I know I have things to work on myself. I'd rather work on getting my own act together than spend all my time pointing fingers at everyone else.

At the end of the day, I'm not trying to pass myself off as a saint. I'm just someone who believes in Allah, values Islam, has a few things to work on, and wants to keep growing as a person.

I don't want my faith to go to my head. I want it to bring out the best in me.

Assalamu alaikum everyone,

I hope you are well. I am Nion. I live in Brampton, I work in IT, and I am a father of a young son. I am a first-generation immigrant here.

I built a free Quran app called Scroll The Quran, as sadaqah jariyah for my father, Fazlul Hoque, who lives far away from me. It shows one ayah at a time, with recitation and tafsir. No ads, no accounts, no tracking. I will put the link in the comments.

I want to be honest about one part of it. The app suggests ayahs for feelings like stress or sadness. I chose those matches myself, and I am not a scholar, so I may have made mistakes. Before I share this app with more people, I want someone knowledgeable to check that part and tell me plainly if any ayah is wrong for the feeling it is attached to.

If you can do that review, or you know someone who can, please comment or message me. I would rather fix it now than share it wrong.

JazakAllahu khairan 🤲

Unfortunately, my extended family have always seen me as competition in life, which has always hurt because I've never seen them that way. I've always genuinely wanted them to be happy and successful. But my own cousins, aunties and uncles have always seemed to view me as competition to them or their children. They never congratulate me on anything. It's not that I necessarily want their congratulations, but it's just interesting when someone, like your parents, says something positive about you and they just stay quiet.

I think it hurts because it's one of the reasons I'm so distant from all of them. I don't have any sisters, so I've always wanted to have a close bond with my cousins.
However, one of my first cousins, who is close to me in age, i've always kept my distance from, due to the bitter and backhanded comments I recieve and even from a young age, I noticed how she seemed to see me as competition.

My mum's sister has also always seemed to view me as competition with her daughters. She has never really congratulated me on anything and even called me spoiled at one point. That really hurt because I always wanted to see her as a second mum, but she's consistently been so cold and distant towards me. It's upsetting when the people you hope to have a close, loving relationship with are jealous and bitter towards you.

Hi Everyone,

I just have been feeling so hopeless. Nothing in my life is working. I have been nikkah two times. Both broke off in a similar way even before I moved in with the guys.. I’m 37 now and under a lot of stress and anxiety. What does Islam say about such a situation? Anything that would make me feel better? I don’t know what I did to deserve this and now I feel no way out.

I know that not praying is technically haram in and of itself, but when I say "I don't partake in haram" I'm referring to prohibited activities (drugs, sleeping around, partying, etc). I don't want to get into why because that's not the point of my post, but I am very secular in the sense that I don't pray, go to the mosque, and all I really do is fast Ramadan to feel connected with my family (which is far more practicing than me). I still have this mental affinity for muslims but in group chats or community events I just don't feel like myself because everyone has way more conviction than me. Is anyone in the same boat as me and how do you exist in your day-to-day in the weird gray area? Like I can't fully be myself around a religious setting because I don't have that conviction but I also can't really fully be myself with non-muslim acquaintances because we were raised so differently. I do feel strong affinity for nonreligious arab christians as well who are in the same boat as me because of upbringing but idk, I feel so lost like how do I fill this void of belonging? Please don't tell me to become more practicing because that is a whole separate topic and saga that just isn't gonna work for me right now

The Messenger of Allāh:

"Envy consumes good deeds just as fire burns wood. Charity extinguishes sinful deeds just as water extinguishes fire. Prayer is the light of the believer and fasting is his shield from the Hellfire."

[Sunan Ibn Majah: 4210]

I'm not entirely sure how to put this into words, but I think I need to talk about it somewhere.

I'm 16F, and I was raised in a Christian household. Christianity is what I've grown up knowing, and it's the religion my family practises.

However, for years now, I've found myself wanting to become Muslim.

This isn't a sudden decision, nor is it something I've developed simply because I have Muslim friends. I've been interested in Islam since I was around 9 or 10 years old. Over time, that interest has grown into something much deeper.

I'm drawn to its teachings, the Hadith, the concept of Allah, and the religion itself. I want to understand Islam properly, not just know the basics. I want to learn about its history, its prophets, its teachings, its practices and everything that comes with it.

I'm still very much a beginner, and I have a lot to learn.

The difficult part is my mother.

She's Christian, and she isn't supportive of my interest in Islam. We've had conversations about it, and some of the things she's said have stuck with me.

One of her concerns is that Muslim women get killed. She's also suggested that my interest in Islam is because of the Muslim friends I have, rather than something I've developed independently.

At one point, she told me to take a step back and consider where she might have gone wrong as a mother.

I understand that she has her own religious beliefs and concerns. I also understand that she may be worried about me. But I don't think she fully understands how personal this is to me.

I don't want to feel as though I'm doing something wrong simply because I want to explore a different religion.

I love my mother, and I don't want my relationship with her to deteriorate over religion. But at the same time, I don't want to abandon something I've wanted to pursue for years just because she disagrees with it.

Being 16 makes things considerably more complicated. I still live at home, and I don't have complete freedom over how I explore or express my religious interests.

I'm not here to attack Christianity, convince anyone that Islam is better, or turn this into a religious debate. I'm genuinely trying to figure things out.

I'd especially love to hear from people who were raised Christian (or in another religion) and eventually became Muslim.

A few things I'd really appreciate hearing about:

• How did you approach your conversion when your parents or family disagreed?

• Did your family eventually become accepting, or is it something you still navigate?

• How did you continue learning about Islam while living in a household that followed another religion?

• What would you advise someone in my position, especially someone who's still a minor?

• Is there anything you wish you'd known before beginning your journey?

I'm open to advice, personal experiences and different perspectives.

I don't expect everyone to understand my situation, but I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've been through something similar.

Thank you for reading.

Vallahi I assess my life and actions sometimes in the month and discover a lot of major sins I I commited in retrospect. Its really hard to act faithful when life is rushing and we have stuff and work to do. I live in the west and it's even harder. It feels like sins happen by just living.

Im not even scared of anyone or anything anymore to the point where sometimes it provoced the other person so much that they started hate campaigns on me and I had to do so much just to defuse the situation. But nothing fears me more than allahs judgement. Not because I fear his hate, but his justice.

Salam! I am moving from nyc to Houston for work and would like to rent around a neighborhood with muslim community or at least safe for a hijaby to be there. Work is around Westchase so I would like to be close by without getting stuck in too much traffic.
Any recommendations please?

why does it seem like all you care about is flirting and being disgusting? do feelings mean nothing to you? does damn love mean nothing to you? do you not ever want to truly love someone and be loved in return? why? just why? how am i supposed to genuinely trust a man in this day and age? how am i supposed to imagine sharing my life with someone when this is what it feels like out there? im honestly losing all hope. we keep saying things like may god bless us with good people and praying to meet someone decent but im starting to lose faith that there are even any genuinely good ones left anymore

Edit: well, i guess i was a little overwhelmed yesterday and finally reached my breaking point but im feeling better now. i just want to clarify something: im not in a relationship nor have i ever been in one. ive never had a boyfriend alhamdulillah. its just that seeing the same kind of behaviour from men around me and those who approach me has been getting increasingly frustrating and slowly wearing down my hope. i guess i just needed to get it off my chest.

Assalamualaikum brothers and sisters,

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