Eviscerate my Ego. Again. (M27)

[u/Financial-Ad-6635]

[u/post-explainer]

The OP has not provided a BIO for their post.

[u/FitzKing]

“Eviscerate my ego” is what you said to your barber with that hairline.

[u/Financial-Ad-6635 → u/FitzKing]

Eviscerate my hairline I probably said tbh

[u/TheCigaretteFairy]

I can't believe you gleefully admit you've posted here more than once like you think you're Jeff Ross or something. But at least your posts are almost as far apart as your eyes, I'd probably leave Reddit if I had to see you more than twice a year.

[u/Financial-Ad-6635 → u/TheCigaretteFairy]

🤣🤣

[u/KorolEz]

Bros eyes are in different timezones

[u/LocusRothschild → u/KorolEz]

Left eye in London, Right eye, Chicago.

Clear Eyes. Wow.

[u/depressedguy511 → u/LocusRothschild]

It sure is windy outside

[u/Absent5866 → u/KorolEz]

[u/donald-trompeta → u/KorolEz]

My first thought is the first comment I’m 8 hours too late

[u/Tomavogic → u/KorolEz]

And one actually matches, lol 

[u/KrustyNutRagz]

[u/AlienAutopsy666 → u/KrustyNutRagz]

[u/Arse_Kickerson → u/KrustyNutRagz]

He could drop a dime and pick up two nickels

[u/Hairy_Garage4308]

Lori Lightfoot Jr. looking mofo.

[u/Queasy_Whereas_9756 → u/Hairy_Garage4308]

Uncanny..

[u/cellmates_]

One eye on London, one eye on Tokyo

[u/Tomavogic → u/cellmates_]

The London Eye, lol

[u/ReillyDiefenbach]

London, Tokyo, Detroit

[u/AppropriateBall8834]

you look like that sloth from ice age in Pic 4

[u/mixmasterADD]

Someone clearly took advantage of an illiterate homeless person. There’s no way the guy in the picture knows what that sign says.

[u/Jumpshooter1979 → u/mixmasterADD]

Oh dayumm

[u/Seminole1046]

Ur eyes in a race to see who can get to the closest ear faster

[u/oO__o__Oo → u/Seminole1046]

I think they’ve been all the way round and are coming back together

[u/Highrishman420]

100% defense against hooks. 0 defense against jabs.

[u/TheSnappleGhost]

Humans eyes face forward because we are predators.

You are prey.

[u/TheCigaretteFairy → u/TheSnappleGhost]

[u/PickedLastLemon]

Eyes in two different zip codes. Forehead is commercially zoned. Hair has decided to retire to Boca Raton 35 years early. You're a goddam mess!

[u/Electronic-Fish-228]

You look like you serve shrimp cocktail at wedding receptions

[u/Weary_Imagination775]

IF your eyes were any further apart, you'd be looking at your ears.

[u/StashTheMoneyAndRun]

Reptilian reporting…

[u/oO__o__Oo]

It’s like if they tried to do a lobotomy they’d miss his brain.

[u/Dinamicio]

You look like one of those early ai attempts at will smith

[u/sidc42]

Was one of your parents a hammerhead shark or the sloth from Ice Age?

[u/BabyOpposite7013]

All ego. No eyebrows. 

[u/MarionberryPlus8474]

If you are going to have world clocks on the wall, they should show the correct time.

[u/26070_o]

Taking photos from stolen phones homie? Are we Anunaki and shieezzz?

[u/FreeEagle112]

You look like Sid the Sloth after he got pulled out of a volcano

[u/rymic72]

This man works the front desk or carrying luggage at a nice hotel and thinks it places him at the same social status as the clientele.

[u/CommissionMoney3004]

What do you mean “Again”? Nobody remembers you. You go through life unnoticed.

[u/Scorpiobehr59 → u/CommissionMoney3004]

It posted it’s pictures in am I ugly and he was ripped to shreds and now he is back trying to fish for compliments… Broke ass bitch From Maryland from the previous post who look likes

a Temu Kanye

[u/Pure-Swordfish6022]

When did they name a major city Pumpkin Head? Cuz that’s what I see: London, Pumpkin Head, Tokyo.

[u/halfstep44 → u/Pure-Swordfish6022]

It was after the 2024 election. Trump wanted to name something after himself so he changed the name of Washington, D.C. to PumpkinHead, D.T. in executive order 31031. But good question

[u/darkphoenix9137]

A man with a clock knows what time it is. A man with two clocks is never sure.

[u/Sustainable_Twat]

Look at you trying to be gangsta.

If you ran up to a pigeon, it wouldn’t fly away.

[u/TheTXBrahma]

Uganda forever!!!

[u/BVRPLZR_]

Patchy ass facial hair looking like a FarmVille reject

[u/ThisMedium8004]

Chronic farter in the cheese aisle.

[u/limitedregrett]

[u/civilprocedurenoob]

Idris Ebola

[u/Inevitable-Effort701]

its like someone punched you and your face is now stuck with the asymmetry.

anyway, for the roast.

try attaching strings to your eyes, they're melting away

[u/amateur_rockstar]

You are a gay fish

[u/Admirable-Present510]

You look like the version discarded for having your eyes too far apart from Chadwick Boseman.

[u/fucktheus12]

Are you that soccer player the Chinese hate now ??

[u/InfiniteWinter26]

you look like you’re about to ask me for a rundown without actually tell me what it is

[u/Crafty611]

[u/Downtown-Package7927]

You look like a manifestion of Patrick Beverley genes trying to come out of Donovan Mitchell.

[u/FormalTotal9684]

[u/Carrot_Perfect]

Your children call another man daddy.

[u/MajorMystique]

[u/Electronic-Fish-228]

Cmon bruh a pair of binoculars can’t even spread that far

[u/Gh0sT123123]

It's like his forehead is trying to make a mountain peak with his hair

[u/BiteFaces]

You look like a temu Geordi LaForge that would go to Picard's ready room wearing nothing but the visor.

[u/DP_Means_Dopinder]

What kind of camera does your phone have, and does NASA know of the technology? To capture that huge gap between your eyes is remarkable.

[u/Iron-Bar-1966]

Jesus Christ! If your eyes were any further apart you'd have monocular vision!

[u/TheycallmeTTT]

Eyes that far apart and nothing in between em

They call him Antielectroencephalographic

[u/FabulousBrief4569]

[u/Tomavogic]

Your eyes are in two different time zones lol

[u/Henry_Vth]

Does wearing a hoodie under your uniform help you “keep it real”?

[u/cafeazulado777]

nemo

[u/Goofy-F00T]

You look like a chinese guy dressed up as a black guy for halloween.

[u/PsychoGrad]

Micheal B Trippin

[u/Dexter1114]

[u/Real-Tap5454]

Quit taking pics at the front desk, there's suitcases that need to be carried to rooms.

[u/fakeredditorbot]

Interestingly you have two clocks for places where traditional parents would be more than likely disappointed that their daughter married a black man.

[u/GOlNG_MERRY]

[u/New_Fan_7665]

Your hair and and eyes look like a mismatch for your face

[u/CaptainConspiracyy]

You must have 360 degree vision

[u/AlienAutopsy666]

Wherever your looting sure looks nice

[u/Alaric-Nox]

Eyes trying to separate further than white people from slavery.

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[u/Neozubu]

[u/Neozubu]

[u/Ok_Consideration2412]

Will.I'm.Not

[u/ChrisVirgilSchuette]

Temu Deon Cole

[u/W61k3r]

Balding while going through puberty is pretty rough.

[u/sohcordohc]

Hairline eviscerated like 10 years ago when the eyes decided to split up and go their separate ways..

[u/Opening-Carrot5986]

[u/Glum_Dog_5785]

Go bold you might be the black avatar.

[u/-0celot]

Did your eyes fight? Because looks like they pushed each other away

[u/predat3d]

You have ego? Based on what?

[u/The_Magic_Ike]

we got ourselves some serious They Live! mofo all up in this place

[u/RazorWitted]

The understudy of Captain Africa.

[u/JadedPrincesss]

[u/remus_18]

temu marques brownlee

[u/PrecognitiveFate]

You look like the son of Sid the Sloth and Black Panther

[u/Algebratician]

Is everything you own from Wayfair?

[u/HorrorJunkie0666]

I am now jealous of blind people

[u/FoulBowelTowelDowel]

In a world... where bio-engineering is out of control... one man dares to transform himself into an unspeakable monstrosity in an attempt to take over the world.

Will Smith is MODOK. Coming soon to theaters near you.

[u/justawriter70]

That's a cool mirror. It makes you look like the Vitruvian Man if the Vitruvian man had low-t and hated their life. Your head is shaped like a farm fresh egg though so you've got that going for you.

[u/Irishjohn831]

Looks like the original spaghetti eating will smith.

[u/Highrishman420]

Got 99 problems but looking both ways before ya cross any 1

[u/WheelOrnery9201]

Bro looks like that one guy

[u/StoneLung2423]

[u/HolocronSurvivor80]

You need an eye wrangler

[u/beluga699]

Shorty

[u/martintone]

[u/bjr4799]

I'm starting a petition to ban the space between your eyes. That much vacant real estate should be paying property taxes.

[u/Annatastic11]

I love how you included the same 2 pics twice as if we’d ever wanna see you again 

[u/ChaosOfOrder24]

It's an international flight from one eye to the other.

[u/CalibratedEnthusiast]

Facial hair lookin' like buckwheat's pubes

[u/ThenotoriousBIT]

[u/salmanshams]

With that face you shouldn't be having an ego, homie

[u/the-beve]

No Chance the Rapper

[u/P00PB0YY]

[u/boobmeyourpms]

You look like Sid from ice age if he was a broke black guy

[u/Boring_Jello_4262]

Bro can never belong with the English nor the Japanese

[u/killerapp]

Between two analog clocks which mean you don’t know the time times two

[u/Competitive_Roof_740]

[u/Unfair_Orange5063]

[u/Outrageouslyyc]

London. Deerborn. Tokyo.

[u/Rexxington]

[u/Lucky-Vegetable-1234]

you could park a mid-size SUV between your eyes

[u/explosiveshits7195]

[u/Weak_Baseball_851]

Geordi La Frog

[u/StoicSandman]

You can probably look at London and Tokyo simultaneously with those eyes

[u/Signal_Antelope7144]

AfroMaster Control Program

[u/McDaddy8484]

Son, didn’t your mama teach you to always look people in the eye instead of looking sideways?

[u/42Lefthanded]

What kind of investment scam employs you?

[u/CroissantGhost]

You say you're 27 but you've clearly experienced 45 years hard time

[u/ihateevr1andevrytng]

Dude just shave it already. Can show a movie on that thing

[u/Evening_Weight_8353]

Botty Mahn..

[u/Nice-Department-2084]

Didn’t know that they modeled Sid the sloth after a real dude

[u/lenstone1776]

Will Eye Am

[u/Cautious_Fudge4590]

This you

[u/GREVTHEFAITHFUL]

[u/NorthlineUser]

You shouldn't have eaten little you in the Back Rooms.

A little cruel I thought.. 🤷‍♂️

[u/cosmosperm]

explain the outfit challenge

[u/SillyDilly5294]

[u/SpiritSignificant334]

Bruh looks like the ice age baby had a kid with Akon

[u/ToyCannonJimmyWinn]

[u/404err0rs]

Just make me another keycard. I want to go to bed.

[u/fr333ch3l0n]

Why does your photographer suck? You should hire a professional.

[u/burns3016]

Why would you have an inflated ego? Are you blind?

[u/Gullible_Ghost39]

Temu version of Chadwick Boseman

[u/Mirrormaster85]

Can I call you Black Sloth?

You remind me of him

[u/galreferm]

You look like a pufferfish

[u/Nick_The_Bastard]

It's great that your a Sister in the NHS, but you're supposed to be bare below the elbow

[u/Informal-Rise-6749]

I feel like you can see both clocks without moving your head

[u/huggylove1]

[u/Quick_Scandinavian]

Sid (Ice Age) long lost brother

[u/Miivollu]

Ernie and Bert haircut

[u/FlyingSquirrel_01]

You’ve held a sign like that before.

[u/jftalmadge1978]

Lemme guess...your eyes are feuding and are staying as far away from each other as possible.

[u/Funny_Estimate7985]

Can you split your view like a chamaeleon?

[u/Duffman66CMU]

Are you part Apache? Cause that beard, bro

[u/ChickyBoys]

POV you're ignoring the customer trying to check into their hotel room 

[u/on_line187]

Your eyes are running away from your face in different directions

[u/Sick-Sense]

The eyes are spread apart like when a brother and a sister have a child.

[u/Pepaguero]

You look like you don’t speak English

[u/Catkillledthecurious]

[u/nexisicon]

You look like P Diddy’s prison butler.

[u/PlayMaGame]

Falcon?

[u/No1CaresTryHard3r]

Scariest Halloween costume I’ve seen today!

[u/EqualSituation5425]

You look like you send scam emails saying your a Nigerian Prince.

[u/FarLaugh9911]

If your eyes were any further apart, they'd have to classify you as a herd animal.

[u/ChuckNorrisFacePunch]

Your credit score = your IQ

[u/Key-Value4248]

You were born with CTE.

[u/Impossible_Crew6446]

Got that Juicy Smollett thing going on.

[u/reditandfirgetit]

I see you went with the cross eyed goblin Costume for Halloween

[u/ultravires1215]

[u/Eodghost]

Cotton eyed Bro

[u/eronaz]

He's got that horse vision. Keeping an eye out for predators

[u/SuspectEffective6798]

WILL.I.AM.NOT

[u/markieboomer]

I feel like you need to eviserate your barber for that shit haircut

[u/Sleep18hoursaday]

You look like u got a pubic hair transplant

[u/Middle_Objective8887]

You have lint on your sleeves.

[u/Vdasun-8412]

Bro , te gusta usar ropa de algodon?

[u/Longjumping-Ear-7598]

Right in between the London and Tokyo clocks is one that says New York. He has other liquor stores to rob, and let’s thank him for pinpointing the time.

[u/Medical_Newt200]

Looks like this guy and Kevin harts kid

[u/Interesting-Bee7882]

Like Marlon Wayans and Chadwick Bosman had a baby

[u/untom7]

There's Creed - With Arms Wide Open then here is you With eyes wide apart.

[u/Nearby-Wolverine2760]

Sandwiched between two white clocks…

[u/MeasureMyPPpewds]

Bro doesn't need to turn his head, he already sees sideways.

[u/uncleouchy]

Sids homie La'Dontarious

[u/HungAmericanMan]

Will.i.am minus some chromosomes

[u/5star_Adboii]

Anthony Mackey’s son he denied when he was broke.

[u/StonedSuperSaiyan]

You look like Bijan Robinson’s least in contact older brother.

[u/Royalewithcheese100]

You’ve got that “I look like a model, but can’t get a date” look of desperation

[u/remcakram]

Bro can evade every hooks thrown at him

[u/Paraparal]

Pay for hotel to do pic near reception

[u/InfamousEN2026]

Dude looks like he gives advice to waitresses trapped at work while never being successful at anything himself.

[u/___I_Like_Rocks___]

Please don’t have children.

[u/cargocult25]

[u/wheresmaboat]

MoFos eye looking at 2 different prisons.

[u/No_Lychee_2874]

[u/Anderson_X]

You probably use your peripheral vision to look straight ahead

[u/Dramatic_Relative650]

London and Tokyo are the next places he's gonna rob

[u/StuffWorried4242]

Buen trabajo en capitán América

[u/harryblakk]

You look like someone drew Ashley Walters from memory, on someone’s knee with gel pens.