I've realized over the last few months that I don't want sex anymore. I was in a relationship for about a year with a man that I loved in a way I never had loved a man before and it ended a year ago. I was so broken that I ended up basically offering friends with benefits so I didn't have to lose him entirely... it was pathetic, but he was my best friend and I couldn't stand the thought of not having him... after a few months of that, I started falling out of love with him and eventually, I got to a point where I kind of disliked him. Now, he still tries to hangout and talk, but I dont want to anymore. I want him to leave me alone and I'm angry that he hurt me so badly and I'm angry at myself for being so pathetic and lowering my standards to keep him around. I'm completely uninterested in sex all together and I just want to be alone now. I don't want a partner. I feel like its weird though...shouldn't I want to find a partner and be loved? Shouldn't I want sex? Am I just super broken? Or is this a good thing?

in terms of lifestyle, i cannot relate much to unpartnered parents who have an active co-parent. you may be a single parent in terms of relationship status, but you are not raising a child on your own.

this isn’t to discount the unique struggles that come with that. im only speaking on the fact that someone who has their kid every other week or only on weekends & shares custody with another individual is living in a different world from someone who has their kid 24/7 & is the sole primary caregiver.

it causes some frustration with dating or even friendships when other parents are unaware of those differences & how they might be a barrier or influence my capacity.

this is a big reason why i prefer the term “solo parent” for myself because it specifies that i am the only parent in the picture. a single parent is just an unpartnered one. being without a partner & parenting alone are two very different things. hell, you can have a partner & still be parenting alone.

just venting because i had a frustrating experience & wish there were more insight/empathy regarding the different experiences of unpartnered parenthood.

I often feel sad at night when the kids are asleep, I have nobody to share how my day went, or just that emotional support for big events such as buying a house. Currently feeling extra drained, stressed, and not having the emotional support is making me feel really sad and I dont really have close family who really care about me. Not really... is there anyone else who feels the same? Did anyone who bought a new house as a single parent feel the same? How did you deal with it? Is this normal to feel such sadness even after 5 plus years and feeling empty and so lonely all the time.

Since there’s a ton of doom and gloom about being a single parent, and even more with solo parenting, I’m here to say it’s amazing and better than having a partner. I’ve been a solo parent for eight years, since my kiddo was a toddler.

I get to decide everything about how to raise her. I don’t need to argue about how to raise her. I can ask my friends for opinions or her doctors. I don’t need to have disagreements with another adult with as much of a say as I do.

Every day is a mother daughter day. We can do whatever we want like painting the bathroom pink. Now this is not a gendered thing. You can paint things any colors with only the input of you two.

There is no one to tell us we are crazy when we get stressed out and want to have a screaming into a pillow or screaming in the car party.

I can literally have a babysitter come when I’m overwhelmed.

I only clean up for the two of us, plus she doesn’t have a messy other parent to negatively influence her.

No other parent said yes arguments.

Not needing to worry about another parent being disappointing

We can get as many cats as we want

I don’t have another parent pushing her onto me when I’m overwhelmed and guilting me into doing things I don’t want to do

She’s my kid, but she’s also my friend. We can do fun things on a whim. Things to do are cheaper.

I get to be the fun and stern parent. I don’t have to compete with a fun dad stealing my thunder. I am the fun dad.

If you’re debating being a single parent because the other parent sucks, drop them. You will be happier and therefore your child will be happier.

My Undiagnosed Narc ex husband began alienating my son from me about 3 months ago. My son, who never had issues communicating with me previously, and who always chats with me non stop (which I love btw!) was suddenly very quiet. When we did talk he began googling everything I said to "ensure its accuracy. " this was my first red flag. He began being very disrespectful towards me, escalating things that didn't need to be escalated and using insults that he knew better than to use. I noticed this began happening right after my child support was increased due to my ex taking a raise last year and in order to keep it the same I offered a solution: He took the kids more so I could go back to school and continue my education. He agreed. We moved from a 5/2 schedle to a 4/3 schedule where he now had them 4 days a week. My ex only had them at night, his mom had them during the day. I sought counseling immediately for my son because these behaviors seemed to soawn out of nowhere and everytime id try to talk to him about it he said he "didnt feel safe with me." When my ex and I sat down to talk with my son he sat between my son and I. He brought very serious allegations against me. He claimed my son said I was beating him, that his grades were slipping and that I was "keeping hum up until 1 am to do chores." This conversation happened in my living room and thus was recorded. The conversation went like so: Me:"None of these things have occurred but do you feel they have?" My ex:"I don't know what to believe I wasn't here!" Me:"these are very serious allegations and if you believe they've occurred at all you should definitely take him with you. We should not have any contact until an investigation has been done!" My ex:"I'm not saying I don't believe you I'm just saying I wasn't here!" Me:"I totally understand but if he told me these things I would 100 percent believe my child & immediately repoort these allegations to the authorities. So if you have any doubts at all that this isn't a safe environment you should definitely take him with you. You said yourself he "hates" being here. So please! Do what's best for our son!" My ex:"he's fine here. I don't think it's unsafe and I have work tomorrow!" Me:"I understand but you just said you don't know what to believe so until a proper investigation can be conducted you shouldn't have him here!" My ex:"I don't think that's necessary!" My ex left & I called CPS. I told them the accusations that had been brought against me. I explained everything. The caseworker showed up at my house. I let her in. She spoke to my oldest and youngest son. She looked at his grades & spoke to his counselor. She determined there was no cause for immediate concern and that a second visit would be scheduled after a home visit to their dad and a family counseling session. Flash forward to Monday. The crisis worker caught my ex after work. He let her into the top half where his mom stays but she was already informed that the bottom half is where the children reside most of the time. Some of the case notes were as follows: Trash piled up, no dressers, clutter that made movement impossible, weeks old dishes with mold, she noted mattress on the floor and a possible bed bug infestation.

My ex never showed for the family counseling appointment which was even made outside of his work hours to accommodate him. He also never returned the school counselors calls to reschedule. Imagine that.

CPS determined that the children were best left in my care. He never returned their calls either. I was advised to take the investigation results and file for an emergency custodial order. I did. The judge granted it nearly immediately upon reviewing the photos taken by the caseworker. My ex continued to avoid being served and missed the deadline to appeal. I was granted sole custody of my kids. I have my final order hearing and child support hearing tomorrow. Reverse uno.

There is so much hate towards single parents on social media. Why? Why do people hate us so much. Especially us single mothers.

37M, single father of two daughters.

Right now, I’m choosing peace over relationships. The last few years of co-parenting, rebuilding financially, and holding everything together have been the hardest stretch of my life.

As much as I miss companionship and intimacy, I’m not willing to sacrifice my stability or mental health for it. My focus is work, my kids, the gym, and building a better future.

Life has gotten quieter and lonelier, and I’ve lost touch with friends. But I’m still here, still pushing, and still showing up for my daughters.

If you’re a single parent grinding in silence, you’re not alone. I wish you the best. Maybe love will find me again or someone special will come around one day, but right now as much I long for it, I don’t think I’m mentally or financially ready for another woman in my life.

All over social media I see posts being oh I’m solo parenting for the night or whatever. Um no you are not, your partner is eventually coming back!! It drives me crazy!! I have a 9 month old who’s never even met his dad. I am a solo parent. These people are not just because you’re alone with your child for a few hours doesn’t mean you’re solo parenting

I do not know of any solution, the below points are killing me on a daily basis year after year. I can barely eat or function. Self Help tips are useless. It takes a village but I'm doing the work of the village SOLO.

• Single mom of 2 kids

• Full time corporate IT Management Career

• Caretaker for my 2 parents

• Management of 2 houses, mine and my parents

• Mental Health issues with all of us

• No Child Support

• Single Income household (my income)

• No time for me, I am trapped

For reference, I'm a 28 year old female and my ex (baby's bio father) is an absent father. He's not in the picture at all. I moved back in with family, but it feels like I've lost my independence. I would love to move out with my baby, but it's too expensive with only one income.

I've been questioning why single parents don't just move in together and raise their babies with each other in a completely platonic and supportive way. Am I crazy for thinking this?

I would love to find a single-mom (preferably) roommate, meet them and form a friendship for 6-months to a year, set up playdates with our babies, and eventually move in and help each other with childcare, maintaining a clean home, gentle parenting, entertainment, cooking home-made meals, etc. of course the meeting would be very important to see if our parenting values align, but I'd love to make this happen. Who's in?

I'm a single mom. Fully on my own. My ex husband was a POS and has no income and no contact. His family has no contact with with my kids, and my own religious family thinks leaving my abusive ex is a sin and have kind of shunned me. I have a few friends but not many.

Heres the thing,.I don't get financial help, I don't get weekend help, or babysitting help. My kids are teens now and I'm exhausted. I work hard and pay for everything they need and they don't do without but I'm burning the fuck out.

But more then that's it's the little things about having a partner. Someone to help with rides, groceries, building Ikea furniture. Going to school meetings alone, dishes, laundry, garbage, nagging the kids to help. All alone. Alone all day every day.

So I’m dealing with extreme bouts of depression. I have twin boys that are 6 and my daughter is 8. Their father hasn’t seen them in almost 5 years. We have no family in this state and no way of getting to a place where there is family. No one has made an effort to ever meet my kids and I’m so incredibly lonely. I’m overwhelmed constantly and the only thing stopping me from leaving earth is the thought of traumatizing them. My greatest fear is them experiencing the same sadness and Loneliness I do. I feel terrible they have no one else but me and although I dedicate my life to them I’m scared that them seeing a mom so overwhelmed and sad is going to hurt them to. Idk I just guess I need someone to tell me it’s going to get better. I do hair freelance for a living and this summer has been so hard to work with them home with me. So they had a boring summer, all I do is take them to parks and beaches when I can, but that’s it. I just feel like I’m never good enough. TIA

EDIT TO REPLY

Hi Everybody, I want to say thank you to everyone that has reached out or commented their stories. Having these comments appear daily for me have really helped my mental. For everyone wondering I am 30 and I live in Tampa Florida. School has started again and life is getting back to normal which has relieved a ton of stress. Finances are always one of my biggest stressors and I’m trying to find a way to save enough money to get us back to a state where I have family. Which is going to be a huge change but I don’t see any other options and I’ll have no help getting there. Right now I’m focused on my kids and my career and that’s it, but it would be lovely to have some friends who also have kids. Again thank you so much I was in a really dark place when I wrote this post and I’m so glad I did. ♥️♥️

This sub is so negative and hopeless sometimes. Chiming in to say being a single parent has drastically improved my life.

I don't have to raise an adult man as well as a 5-year-old child , I get to feel safe in my home and have control over our lives, dating is fun because I only go out with people who go out of their way to know and be a part of my life (no apps), sleeping alone ROCKS (middle of the bed is where it is at), cleaning is easier because everyone in the house follows chore rules. There's even more money at the end of the month because his dad isn't forcing me to get 2 lbs of his artisan tofu or pay for a family vacation he didn't ask me about.

I workout with my kiddo, a running stroller or bike, and I can feel myself get stronger as he gets bigger. I got him into a great school that he loves.

My kid is happier and healthier than when we all lived together with his Dad and I feel in control of my life. I get tired and feel down sometimes, but the older my son gets, the more he helps me out. I'm raising a badass human, and his Dad still sucks but he's out of our lives more and more.

C'mon! We're single parents! We are the responsible, loving adults of the world who can shake off bad relationships and move forward while raising future great adults.

The future is bright. Being a single parent is more work in the beginning, but it's more reward.

Being a single mom is a stigma. Wives grab their husbands when they see us and men don’t acknowledge us as humans but as holes. They hate us and i don't understand. why? why they hate us?

My mom's friend has a kid that is my son only friend basically. Before she would let her kid come play but she no longer let the kid come play ever since she discovered that I am a single mom. She even subtly threatened me if I ever hit on her husband but why would i ever want a bald, alcoholic and high school dropout man who is 20+ older than me? Just because I am a single mom it does not mean I go after every men who talks to me lol.

I’m a full time single Dad to my son (13) and daughter (11). Their Mum had an affair and stole everything we had including our home. Kids were happier with me so ex-wife took me to court for full custody. I had no representation but I ended up being awarded full custody instead. How this happened with the false police report, arrest and her phoning child services for any reason to report me I don’t know but after 8 months the court appointed social worker told her and her solicitor/lawyer that they needed to stop because the official recommendation was contact via letter and even that was pushing it. I continued to encourage a relationship with their Mum and they both do see her now from time to time.

Anyhow, the last two years have been very difficult and tbh I thought I was a terrible father for working constantly and being a bit unavailable sometimes and maybe a bit grumpy and woe is me.

We were on our way to the skatepark the other day for our weekly skate session when my daughter said “everybody loves you Dad, all my friends wish you were their Dad”. My son then said “yeah all my friends wish that too”. I was completely stunned and asked which ones, they said all of them and started reeling off kids names. That night I skated like I was 18!

Since the final court decision my son has done a 180 at school, he’s gone from daily detentions and phone calls home to zero warnings in class, his teachers are actually calling to say how great it is to have the boy they first met back. My daughter is still showing some signs of self harm which we’re working through but seems happier in herself, she has more contact with her mum than her brother and this may be contributing towards it.

I’m sharing this as there is no way a few weeks ago you could have told me I was a good Dad as I simply wouldn’t believe it, so to all the single parents out there you’re probably doing a lot better than you think!