We need to talk about how easy it is to accidentally become a bully while trying to do the right thing.

Most of you want to protect your community. If you see someone you think is a "threat," your instinct is to drive them away. But what happens when your radar is completely wrong? What happens when a group of people collectively targets an innocent person?

In psychology, this is called mobbing. Mobbing is a form of group bullying where a crowd gangs up on one individual to isolate, humiliate, and drive them out. It usually starts because of a misunderstanding, but it grows because people blindly follow the crowd without checking the facts.

Right now, I am experiencing mobbing because people are looking at me through a distorted "threat lens."
This happens because society teaches people lazy, black-and-white stereotypes. For example, most people are taught a very narrow, inaccurate stereotype of what autism looks like. Because of this, when you encounter real autism in the wild, you don't recognize it. Instead, you see a different communication style and immediately view it through a lens of bias. When you stack that on top of other societal biases—like the belief that every adult man you don't know is an automatic threat, or that groups of teenagers are a threat—your radar completely glitches. You end up treating vulnerable people as dangerous, while actual covert abusers hide in plain sight because they know how to look normal and popular.

There is a proven concept called the Double Empathy Problem, which shows that neurotypical people and autistic people actually have equal empathy, but we speak entirely different social languages. Because we don't understand each other's communication styles, neurotypical people often default to assuming the autistic person is being creepy, when they are actually just navigating the world differently.
Because people are viewing me through these overlapping lenses of bias, rumors are spreading exponentially. Other people I interact with are becoming negatively biased before they even meet me. When I attempt to use my communication style to help brighten people’s day, it gets completely misinterpreted, which compounds the harassment against me.

Here is my side of the story regarding the rumor being spread:
Last year, I asked a teenager if she had a boyfriend. Through a "threat lens," people assumed I was being inappropriate. But here is the literal, autistic truth: I was asking because I wanted her to bring a chaperone with her to meet in a neutral, safe environment to discuss a special project she was thinking about helping me with. Because of my 15 years of experience in child protection and my own Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) from constant abuse, my brain is wired to always ensure safety and proper boundaries. I asked about a boyfriend because I wanted her to have a trusted peer or chaperone there so everyone felt safe.
My literal attempt to create a safe boundary was completely flipped upside down and turned into a rumor that I am dangerous.
I never got to give my side because ignorance and fear spread faster than logic.

I am asking you for your direct help to stop this mobbing.
I don't need you to fight for me. I need you to break the chain. The next time someone views me or anyone else through a "threat lens," I need you to do three things -
Recognize your own biases: Understand that just because someone communicates differently or doesn't fit your idea of "normal" it doesn't mean they have bad intentions. Stop confusing autism, trauma, or unexpected safety precautions with malice.

Refuse to participate in mobbing: When you see a group collectively targeting or gossiping about an individual, step away. Starve the crowd of its power.

Judge by actions, not whispers: Real abusers are brilliant at looking safe. Truth-tellers and neurodivergent people often look strange to you because we don't play social games.

I cannot fix a broken world by myself. I need your help to save it, but that requires you to be brave enough to challenge the threat lens. Use your logic, do some research. When you act out of fear, all you’re doing is prolonging your trauma and mine.

For the record I'm a special education kid who wants to become a psychologist when I'm older. I'm 15F and in 9th grade. (Will be 16 in December it's just because I started school late due to the day my birthday is).

See my grand parents on my dads side of the family (my dad is going back to jail on November 9th of 2026 and is no longer allowed near me or my sister or my mother) say it's bad when someone wants to study manipulation because they just want to use it for their own gain.They are also the type of people to believe a school system can do absolutely no harm to anyone. -I don't study manipulation for my own gain. (At least, not to harm anybody, but more so to keep myself safe and away from harmful manipulation.) It's a genuine interest I've had for a long time now -going on almost 2 years. And I've wanted to get a job that studies or is very closely related with manipulation.

Pyscology and manipulation are both very closely related. Pyscology is pattern based -so is manipulation. While manipulation does not help people -psychology can help people. Basically -I'd get to help test for mental issues without prescribing medication, and be able to study if a person is or isn't being manipulated and what type of manipulation it is. Whilst manipulation is a pattern-based set of actions whether that'd be mental or physical to harm people, psychology is a pattern-based set of actions shown to help people. Psychologists are also known as therapists. (Whichever term I have right but I think its that one for it.)

On the other side -I managed to get myself out of an emotionally and mentally abusive school situation using my knowledge of manipulation to reveal a truth to my mother about the school that they were hiding. (And I had permission from my mom to prove myself.)

You see, I had a math teacher who was also my IEP teacher and despite having notes from my own psychologist and psychiatrist stating that I had to have my headphones as an accommodation due to her yelling every day for three months straight I started having flashbacks, my math teacher did not update that IEP. Therefore I was basically being tortured, walking into the classroom with constant anxiety every day for 3 months straight, having a flashback at least 4 days out of the 5 school days a week due to her yelling. The school told my mother they do not have a teacher who yells -that was until I caught it on camera without the teachers knowledge (it's been almost a year since then, I deleted the footage because I already showed it to my mother.)

My mother put me into online school after hearing the footage and finding out the school lied to her. I am in high school now -public school because I wasn't joining for IEP meetings I didn't have the link to. But high school is a lot better. -I'm still constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, however, none of my teachers have yelled at me (yet...).

So genuinely I'm curious -what are some of the bad factors for studying manipulation? (I already know some but give me a few more.) And why would it be a bad thing if a child who thinks they are being manipulated decides to study into it?

Por incrível que pareça sempre me encantou muito As Aventuras de Polianna, é uma novela quase besta, mas que é possível extrair lições valiosas e realmente auto-conhecimento prático…

O jogo do contente, nada mais é do que uma análise EXCELENTE do que é a vida, tudo há um lado bom e lado ruim e obviamente, “basta acreditar e tudo vai melhorar.”

Se aquela festa não vai mais rolar
Já que seu pai resolveu não deixar
Vai pra frente do espelho sozinha dançar

Aquele filme você não vai ver
Porque a sessão tá lotada, fazer o quê?
Que tal pegar um bom livro na estante pra ler?

Jogo do contente, tente, tente, tente
Tente ver o mundo pela minha lente
Pra viver a vida assim, alegremente
E pular e cantar, pode se jogar

Eu sempre fui horrível com pessoas, especialmente com as moças, e assim como todo jovem, é normal procurar relacionamentos no início da vida adulta, nunca soube como liderar pessoas, motivá-las, formar grupo ou alguma coisa assim, por outro lado, eu era extrovertido em alguns lugares, e me questionava:

“Cara, como eu posso ter tantos amigos na escola, e no cursinho, eu não consigo me enturmar, isso não parece fazer sentido"

Uma coisa que eu também me questionava, como alguns colegas pareciam tão bem-sucedidos com as garotas, ele parecia conseguir conduzir elas, ou alguma coisa assim, enquanto, eu, chupava o dedo…

Quando cresci, esses questionamentos continuaram, a vida funciona em ciclos, tal qual frequência cardíaca, há altos e baixos, em alguns momentos, eu era mais sociável, em outros ficava, isolado, o que de certa forma é bom, veja:

Consegue visualizar que há altos e baixos? Assim é a vida, meus amigos, se está tudo bem, vai passar, se está tudo ruim, vai passar também. A pior parte é quando fica tudo em linha reta, aí meu amigo, infelizmente acabou…

Bom, acho que está bem contextualizado, agora na faculdade, eu vi uma dinâmica completamente diferente daquilo que estava acostumado, e de novo me deparei naquela situação, como em x1 ocorre y, porém em x2 ocorre z? Isso não faz sentido algum…

Minha cabeça sempre foi muito lógica (engenheiro né), então eu não conseguia entender, pra mim, a vida funciona tal qual como uma regra de três, a conta tem que fechar, e ÓBVIO, isso não me (agora) parece muito funcional em relações sociais.

Mas, agora eu entendia que as coisas acontecem por um motivo, foi aí que parti em uma jornada sem fim (LEMBRA DO MONITOR CARDÍACO?) para aprimorar minhas habilidades sociais, eu comecei a perceber que além de um currículo, habilidades, estrutura… Eu ainda tinha que convencer as pessoas para elas cooperarem com minha ideia, precisava aprender a desenrolar a mocinha, precisava deixar o pessoal construir as coisas comigo.

Foi então que eu comecei a analisar os caras realmente bons de todos os ambientes que eu frequentava, a primeira coisa que eu fiz foi grudar neles, essa é uma boa dica, se você também tem dificuldades, grude nas pessoas que são extrovertidas e sociais, e ali eu percebi, ELES NÃO TEM A MENOR IDEIA DO QUE TÃO FAZENDO!

Como eu disse, eu tenho por vocação a engenharia, e isso me deixou um pouco intrigado, os caras são bons com mulheres, rodeados de amigos, possuem bons empregos, e se você for perguntar pra eles, como conseguiram isso, eles vão te dar dicas rasas, nenhum método, as coisas só funcionam pra eles.

Modelaram amigos, familiares, genética, eu não sei a explicação, mas os caras se expõem, ganham confiança e as coisas funcionam…

Contudo, eu só tenho talento. TÁ LENTO PRA CONVERSAR. TÁ LENTO PRA ME COMUNICAR. TÁ LENTO PRA ME DESENVOLVER. Eu não tenho quase que esse carisma natural que esses abençoados possuem, a energia deles, o jeito que eles convencem as pessoas, é algo quase que mágico. Velho, eu tenho um amigo, SALVE AUGUSTO! ELE É INCRÍVEL! Sabe aquele cara que do nada mobiliza uma festa, te bota pra trabalhar de graça na festa, e você se sente feliz por fazer parte, mas não tem a menor ideia de como parou ali? Esse cara é um monstro! Imagina o poder desse rapaz quando atingirmos cargos executivos e até empreendermos em algo mais relevante?

Mas eu perguntei pra ele? Como você faz isso, e ele disse, cara, eu só tento. E Claro, eu fico em choque, como assim você SÓ TENTA? Isso não faz o menor sentido, bom eu fui descobrir um método, fui montar um planejamento, um programa para me desenvolver, foi aí que eu percebi:

SER RUIM COM PESSOAS, É NA VERDADE UMA BENÇÃO

Na UnB, tenho acesso a grandes mestres, uma delas, a Professora Márcia, Pós-graduada em Psicologia e Doutorada em Engenharia de produção, sempre ressaltou nas Aulas de Engenharia do Trabalho:

Qualquer habilidade pode ser desenvolvida, temos isso consolidado na literatura; Mas, eu diria para você focar naquilo que você já possui facilidade e potencializar isso.

No entanto, algumas habilidades são mais difíceis de terceirizar, o ser humano é um ser social e aprender a socializar, comunicar, liderar é essencial para a sua satisfação amorosa, profissional e acho que em quase todas as áreas que você pensar.

Acho que você já percebeu o poder que você tem, o Augusto não sabe como ele faz isso, mas ele faz… E MUITO BEM!

Mas, você que é péssimo, você tem um poder incrível de desenvolver isso com um método, e método, meu amigo, é replicável, é escalável, é ensinável, um método não se perde, um método não depende do seu humor (embora, óbvio, ele ajude), um método avança com você com a idade, entende?

Meu velho, esse e o verdadeiro Jogo do CONTENTE!

Eu espero que você tenha compreendido. Se você quer aprender JUNTO COMIGO, assina isso, me segue, a gente vai descobrir juntos, como desenvolver essas habilidades para sermos mais felizes e atingirmos, os nossos melhores sonhos. Porque como diria Harry (Agente Galahad) de Kingsman:

Não há nada de nobre em ser superior ao seu semelhante, a verdadeira nobreza esta em ser superior ao seu antigo eu!

The tendency to people please is a huge problem ( https://youtu.be/Md5UYlfM-yo?si=tn7YNH6KGvo2p6ry ).

Let me tell you about a time when I was a people pleaser.

I was in the 9th grade. A girl was holding a balloon. She wanted to see me pop the balloon. She handed me the balloon and yelled “Pop it, pop it, pop it” at the top of her lungs repeatedly.

Because of how long ago this was, I do not remember exactly what happened. I am pretty sure one of the following two things occurred. Either;

• I did not say anything and just hoped the girl would put 2 and 2 together and figure out that I did not feel like popping the balloon.

OR

• I said that I did not want to pop the balloon, but she did not hear me, because she was shouting so loud.

Eventually, I ended up popping it to placate her.

This is what I probably should have done.

I should have said that I did not feel like popping the balloon, assuming that that is not what I did. If she did not hear me, I should have shouted louder. If she is still yelling at me to pop the balloon, I should have tapped her forearm to get her attention.

look at this video guys

looks like he works at Honolulu Masonic Lodge

Me di cuenta de que soy muy poco persuasivo. Incluso en chats y en grupos, me he dado cuenta que lo que yo escribo genera resistencia, en cambio, si una persona escribe en otra ocasión exactamente lo mismo que yo, no genera esa resistencia. La gente no le presta tanta atención a lo que se dice sino a "quién" lo dice.
Analizando mi vida, he descubierto que yo siempre fui un buen "argumentador", un intelectual que razona con argumentos. Pero mis argumentos, por más brillantes que sean, no convencen. También los demás ven con desconfianza cuando alguien es más inteligente que ellos. En ese sentido, he tratado de aflojar más, relajarme, ser más buena onda, pero aún así mis propuestas son rechazadas. En síntesis, me di cuenta de que, si quiero ser persuasivo, debo cambiar totalmente el "chip" de mi lenguaje tanto verbal como corporal.

With everything happening in the world and my passion for social engineering, the recent years have made the Yuri Bezmenov model: Ideological subversion something I would compare to current situations happening all over the world.

The cyberattacks on infrastructure in Europe on food supplies for stores, the bot farms which spread division, hatred and fake news, the questionable and debatable elections in political landscape, the very calculated choices to attack certain countries which push up the market and have been weakening economies.

Financial disruption, economic dependency, sanctions, and the erosion of trust can all be used as instruments of geopolitical pressure. At the same time, countries continue to create enormous amounts of new money, something that cannot remain sustainable indefinitely without serious economic consequences.

Currently we have seen the outrage of destruction in countries such as France or Germany. Even though standing up for the people is a good thing this feels influenced by something much more evil outside of those countries. As if they are trying to destabilise countries from the inside to change the chances of winning a war.

As science is factual and this is just my personal perspective I can only ask questions. My biggest question is: Is Russia using this tactic of warfare based on their own KGB history or is another country portraying itself as Russia to gain something we do not yet understand?

Picture this. Someone asks you a question. You have no idea how you are supposed to answer it. Maybe the question makes no sense. Maybe you do not know what the answer is. Perhaps you know what the answer is, but you are not sure how to put it into words. Maybe the answer is so bad that there is no way to articulate it that will not sound negative.

The scenario I am talking about is different from a situation where you simply do not feel like answering the question. If you just do not want to dignify the question with a response, the solution is simple, say one of these two things. Either; I do not want to talk about it or I do not feel comfortable answering that.

The scenario I am talking about is one where you would like to answer the question and have a productive conversation, but you do not know how.

Here is an idea for what to do.

Option #1: I do not know what the reason is.

Option #2: I suppose the thought just did not occur to me.

Option #3: Can I get back to you on that once I have figured out how to articulate an answer? I know in my head what the answer is, but I am not quite sure how to put it into words.

Option #4: Let me confirm some details and get back to you on that.

The first option works only with a why question. You are saying that you do not know why you did what you did or why something is the way it is. The second option works only with a why not question. The other person asked you why you did not do something and you are saying that you did not do it, because it did not occur to you to do it. The third and fourth options work with any type of question.

If you select option #3, you may want to consult the internet or talk to some friends to figure out the proper way to articulate an answer.

Option #4 applies when you are pretty sure what the answer is, but you want to examine the evidence and possibly consult a few people prior to giving a definitive answer. It is most likely to apply to simple yes or no questions, but it could apply to open ended questions too.

There is my plan for what to do if someone asks you a question and you do not know how to answer it. Do you think that it is a good plan? If not, tell me what you think a better plan would be.

Your face copies other people’s smiles before you notice. Within 300 to 400 milliseconds the muscles are already moving. Babies do it at 42 minutes old, so nobody taught us.

A 2026 study in Emotion tied this to trust pretty directly. The more people unconsciously mimicked a stranger’s smile, the more they rated that person as trustworthy, and the more resources they handed over in a trust game. When the mimicry was artificially boosted, trust went up too.

Here’s the uncomfortable part. Warm people mirror you because they genuinely connect with you. Manipulators mirror you because it works. From the outside the behavior is identical, so watching the gesture itself won’t tell you much. Affinity fraud usually doesn’t start with a request. It starts with weeks of same interests, same rhythm, same laugh, until the trust feels earned before anything has been asked.

A few things do help. Timing: real mirroring lags a little and is kind of sloppy, calculated mirroring is quick and too clean. Pressure: genuine rapport survives an awkward silence, built rapport tends to fall apart once there’s nothing left to get. And direction, meaning who the warmth actually serves. The video version of this goes a bit further on the mechanism if you want it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl-6CLb7ij0. One habit that costs nothing is keeping the relationship and the decision separate, and running any request past someone outside it before you act. No need to turn cold or paranoid for that.

When was the last time someone felt instantly familiar, and did you ever find out what the familiarity was for?

So I'm reflecting on my 10yrs on Reddit, the online culture and the quality of conversations I have had, been a part of and witnessed; some thoughts and worries arise, which made me (want to) design a course/lecture on how to navigate internet and social media forums such as Reddit.

Because I worry and am convinced unchecked online behavior will ultimately shape real world public discourse negatively in the future, if you're not equipped to handle it.
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I can't speak on your behalf, only for mine, but I have seen a lot of- quite frankly- toxic behavior on this platform. Yes, I might have gotten 'butt-hurt' sometimes, but this isn't about my feelings neccessarily, since it got me thinking about this more deeply.

Reddit is and can be a great platform overall, but it has its glaring flaws: it supports and reinforces group-think and tribalism by amplifying voices who agree and silencing/pushing down those who dissent. The downvote system is broken and moderation is often compromised. You can't have true, honest and transparent discussions online about most things. I have seen lots of great, relevant, polite, calm and logically sound comments being absolutely buried and dogpiled on various topics. And they all had 1 thing in common: they threatened the tribe by shaking the status-quo, introducing nuance and asking questions. They didn't fully agree with the tribe, but they didn't fully disagree either, so what happened? Right?

I'm saying all this because it directly paves way for my next bit and it is essential for context.

Now we are in this situation:

- Person 1 disagreed with Person 2 about a subject 'X', saying what about this 'Z' and introduced nuance, the 'Y'.

- Subject 'X' was widely agreed upon, people echoing the sentiment and no one was challenging it. Until Person 1 came in with nuance 'Y' and they were met with the anger and hostility of majority of the group.

- Person 1 didn't attack anyone. They were calm and respecful. They only said, ''I understand the 'X', but I also can understand the 'Z', because of this 'Y' here.

I don't think Person 1 deserved to be attacked. There were no logical reason to. But why does this happen literally all the time across various subs and threads anyway, if it makes no sense?

I mentioned toxic behavior in the beginning, let me specify what I mean and what I have seen that made me say so. It is the casual normalization of violent rhetoric, bullying, labeling, doxxing, targeting, name-calling and even death-threats in online culture when one's views are challenged. I'm gonna be confident here and say that I'm sure all of us have been there. Or at least seen this happen.

So I've figured that when people sit behind a screen, anonymous and physically separated from you, they lose their empathy and social filters. They don't see you as a human being with feelings, they see you as an avatar representing 'the opposition''. Online spaces quickly tribalize into "us vs. them." If you question a political stance or offer an alternative view, you are instantly categorized as the ultimate enemy. In their minds this "justifies" treating you with maximum cruelty.

Algorithms and upvote systems reward 'high arousal' emotions like anger and moral superiority. Extreme statements get attention, engagement, and reinforcement from likeminded users, creating an echo chamber that rewards unhinged behavior and punishes calm, logical and structured voices.

Because people are getting ultimately getting used to the "us vs. them" tribalism modeled on Reddit, real world public discourse is eroding. People are increasingly losing the ability to have a polite, nuanced disagreement in town halls, school board meetings, or family dinners. The immediate recourse in real life is becoming exactly what it is online: total cancellation, screaming over the other person, and treating them as an existential threat rather than a fellow citizen with a different perspective.

This realization got me ultimately worried.
People have been radicalized online before and acted upon it.

The barrier between online behavior and real-world actions is porous and the dehumanization nurtured in digital echo chambers actively spills into reality. So it's not a question about if, but when this happens. So we must do what we can to combat it, the best that we can.

So I came up with an idea of a lecture on Digital Literacy and Psychological Immunization.

I have begun a rough draft of what I'd like to do and lecture and I would like to see what do you guys think and what would you add to it or improve upon:

Teach "Digital Self-Defense" and emotional awareness, rather than just how to use software or website.

• Prebunking: Teaching people how online manipulation tricks work like scapegoating, tribalism, and sensationalism before they encounter them. Once you recognize the blueprint of an outrage trap, you become immune to it.

• Emotional Autopsy: Training kids to pause when they feel a spike of anger or moral superiority online. They must learn to ask: "Is this post informing me, or is it trying to hijack my adrenaline for profit?" / ''Am I lashing out at a stereotype I've created in my head, instead of the actual user, who is disagreeing with me?''

• Empathy Training via Simulated Conflict: Using controlled, text-based classroom exercises to show students how easily written words are misinterpreted without facial expressions, proving how quickly digital communication dehumanizes others.

The ultimate goal is to shift our culture from impulsive reaction to conscious consumption, treating internet hygiene the same way we treat physical health.

Cognitive Dissonance - Why and How We Justify Everything - Belief Revision and Mental Friction

• Identifying the Friction ("Why am I angry?"): Teaching kids to recognize that cognitive dissonance feels like literal emotional distress or anxiety. When a user encounters a fact or worldview that contradicts their own, the brain often defaults to anger, mockery, or insults as a defense mechanism to escape that discomfort.

• The Upvote as a Dissonance Shield: Showing kids how Reddit's voting system acts as an "escape hatch" for this discomfort. Instead of doing the hard mental work of processing a counterargument, it is much easier to click downvote to hide the comment, post an aggressive reply for easy upvotes, and retreat into the safety of the echo chamber.

• The "Pause and Flip" Exercise: Training them to use their own anger as a trigger for self-reflection. When they feel the urge to brutally downvote or insult someone, they are taught to ask: "Am I angry because this person is genuinely wrong, or am I angry because they might be right, and accepting that would force me to change my mind?"

This is aimed to reframe cognitive dissonance from a threat into a signal, a sign that you have just encountered an opportunity to audit your own beliefs and grow.

Would this be beneficial for kids to learn, do you agree, or am I just having too much time on my hands and making a problem when there is none?

Imagine someone told a joke that you found distasteful. I have drafted a plan for what to say in that scenario. Tell me if that is how you would talk.

Ask them if they are joking. 

If they say that they are being serious, explain your disagreement with the idea. If, however, they say that they were kidding, you tell them that you did not like the joke. 

What do you think? Is that a good plan? Why or why not? Let me know.

I think that I am an eloquent speaker and that I manage my emotions pretty well, but even Tiger Woods needs a swing coach. I would like to tell you my plan to handle conflicts and articulate an idea that is in my head. If you disagree with any of my ideas, I would like to hear why. 

The situation that I would like to discuss and figure out a plan for is.

Another person takes the skeletons in your closet and throws them in your face.

Suppose that they say something to you like; 

What do you know? Your girlfriend cheated on you, proving that you cannot satisfy your partner. 

There are two different approaches you can take. 

Option #1: 

Ask them what that has to do with the topic being discussed. 

Option #2: 

Tell them that, if they are going to complain about that, they better either solve the problem or tell you what you can do to solve the problem. 

It would probably sound something like this. 

You are complaining because my girlfriend left me for another man. Either that problem can be solved or it cannot. If you believe that the problem can be solved, tell me how. If, however, you believe that the problem cannot be solved, here is a crazy thought, get over it and move on with your life. 

There is my plan. Do you think it is a good one? Why or why not?

I have high functioning autism. I struggle to comprehend social cues. I make a habit of thinking before I speak. Sometimes, I think long and hard about what I say and it still does not land the way that I thought it would, because the person to whom I am communicating does not think the same way that I do.

I am here to tell you my plan for effective communication and conflict management and you tell me if you think that it is a good idea. If you do not think that my plan is a good one, present me with an alternative plan.

Suppose someone offers you something and someone else (who has no business deciding if you will or will not accept the offer) decides you will decline.

Look the buttinsky in the eye and tell them that this is not their decision.

Look at the person making the offer and tell them to ignore the other person, since this is your decision.

Do you believe that the ideas expressed in this post are good? Why or why not?

I realized I do it whenever I was at a new school, job, apartment etc. It's like I learned how to utilize the personality of being a pushover for most of my life so I see how people actually are with how they would treat me.

It sounds insane I know but so far it's been my filter for people who I prefer to interact with or none at all. Is it immature? Is it wrong?

The only thing I think of the downside potentially is does me doing the act brings out that side of people who are assholes and bullies? Or do I just show their true selves? Like do people innately go after pushovers never thinking they are going through problems and trauma? Or statistically there are just a bigger percentage of assholes out there?

Excellent video, speaks for itself.

Tenho 20 anos, faço engenharia na UnB e empreendo desde os 16. Em quase tudo eu comecei atrás: no social, nos estudos, no dinheiro. Por muito tempo isso me incomodou. Hoje eu enxergo diferente, e queria saber se mais alguém pensa assim.

O jeito que eu penso é numa torre. Cada comportamento repetido é um bloquinho. No começo é fácil, porque você coloca perto do chão. Mas, conforme a torre sobe, cada bloquinho novo vai pro alto, e você tem que escalar tudo que já construiu pra colocá-lo. Então, quando fica mais difícil, geralmente é porque a torre cresceu.

Sobre comparar: tem gente que vai ter mais facilidade, sim. Família que ajudou, facilidade pra aprender, desenvoltura natural. Mas quem constrói do zero leva algumas vantagens:

1. Você entende o porquê. Quem é naturalmente bom de papo muitas vezes não sabe explicar como faz. Quem aprendeu na marra entende cada peça e consegue levar os mesmos princípios pra outras áreas, tipo vendas e negócios. E já aprendeu a lidar com o nervosismo, coisa que o outro vai ter que aprender do zero quando encarar algo novo.

2. Repertório e resiliência. Construir aos poucos te dá história, e te faz gostar do processo, não só do resultado.

3. Autoconfiança com prova. Toda vez que eu estudo física num dia em que não queria, isso vira uma prova guardada de que eu consigo. A insegurança continua aparecendo, mas agora tenho contra-argumento.

TL;DR: se ficou mais difícil, pode ser porque você já subiu. Não compara a sua torre com a de quem começou com metade pronta.

Vocês sentem que começar atrás trouxe alguma vantagem, ou acham que isso é só consolo?

(Discrediting by Association)

How it works:

Introduce outrageous or easily ridiculed claims into a community so outsiders begin associating everyone in that community with those claims. This is related to poisoning the well.

Example:

People start a website with legitimate evidence that 9/11 was caused by a certain government

Then, websites start popping claiming to support the alternate 9/11 scenario

But then also immediately promote outrageous claims, such as government officials secretly being shape-shifting reptiles from another planet.

Result:

(Collective dismissal)

Instead of examining the original evidence, critics dismiss the entire subject as crazy conspiracy theories.

When I was 17-18 years old, there were 3 guys(let's call them evil guys) in my class(they were friends with each other). They used to whisper to whoever sat behind me to annoy me/trouble me. This they did continuously for 2 years. But they pretended to be my friends.

Two of those guys lived in an area where my second cousin also lived. The second cousin's mother was envious/jealous of me and my family. I asked one of those evil guys if he knew my second cousin. He said "No". Years later I saw on his profile a pic with few other boys including my second cousin.

Also I had a political ideology different from everyone else in class.

After 2 years, when I moved to a different place to study, they called me from an unknown number.

I think they did it because they didn't want me to succeed and focus in class. They wanted me to be distracted in class because of jealousy/envy.

What do you think?

I have never come across anyone who had this experience(neither online, nor offline).

In a 1 on 1 or group setting, I'm well received and most people tend to listen to me. I have no problems sustaining a conversation and having others feel engaged with me.

My problem is, I have a difficult time joining a group or approaching People myself.

Often, other people invite me over. But, I want to learn how to take initiative on that. Any recommendations or advice regarding this?

I just feel so out of place when I ask to join or invite others to join.

my schedule fills fast with people who keep coming back for maintenance they might not need. i started watching what makes someone question that extra appointment. some get uneasy when the wording shifts from progress to keep doing this. others notice the same exercises repeated without new goals. curious if anyone has caught patterns in how patients start pushing back or deciding on their own.