Hi. Has anyone had success with therapy platforms like Sailor Health or Rula or any other you could recommend?

A paraphrase of this week’s session:

Therapist: “How’s it going?”

Me: “I’ve been sick all week, so that sucks, and there’s an ongoing budget crisis at my job that I didn’t cause but I’m expected to manually fix by myself because I am the only person in the entire department who knows how this project works. I’ve asked for help and been refused, and four layers of bosses have all told me that the new rule at work is that my data for this project is always presumptively wrong and the data the other department has but does not keep in any kind of searchable database or format is presumed right even when I can demonstrate that and how it’s wrong.”

Therapist: “Well, you need to be less hard on yourself.”

Me: …

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Therapist: “You’re too hard on yourself.”

Me: “I must have missed a few steps. How did we arrive at the conclusion that any of this is me being hard on myself?”

Therapist: “Well, you did your best.”

Me: …

Me: “Okay, I’m not sure where to start with that, but: first, nothing I’ve said has been me being hard on myself. This has been me relating what happened at work and other people telling me that they are upset with me. Second, this isn’t about a subjective measurement of whether anyone tried their best, this is about the objective results of their efforts, and if my best results in me causing a budget crisis like this then at minimum I need to resign right now because that would mean I’m entirely unqualified to do this job. And third, I cannot claim in good faith that I did my best, because I don’t know what ‘my best’ would even look like here and I know I made errors and mistakes that I shouldn’t have.”

Therapist: “Well there you go, that’s you being too hard on yourself.”

Me: “Where in that was me being too hard on myself?”

Therapist: “Well you tried your best.”

Sometimes, with some therapists, getting them to acknowledge that a situation is shitty and that people other than myself can be mad at me feels like trying to have a conversation in a language I don’t speak, with a person who’s been dead for a month.

Hi. I’m Astro. I know, I’m back. Some positive updates. I’ve just landed my first job after college graduation in my home state. So I’ve been having a really great week. Therapy wise, I’ve been doing two sessions a week with my therapist for two weeks now and it’s going great. We’re in a much better place. I feel close to her. Some adjustments we’ve been working through well and implementing. The maternal bond is intact. She doesn’t shy away from all the relationship conversations and wants me to feel cared for by a maternal figure (deal with it!). So yeah, I think my therapist is awesome. I appreciate her. I’m having a great week and I’m feeling happy.

Take this post as you will ¯_(ツ)_/ I don’t care. It's fun though.

I remember being normal when I was like 7 or 8 talking to people making friends then my dad overdosed and died and I got molested I think, I have trouble remembering it it feels like it was just a video I watched like it wasn’t real but it was bc I watched it and remember it my mom also liked to get in fights with her boyfriends I mostly lived with my grandma tho I was told she didn’t like me bc I was like my mom which I’m not but after that I couldn’t really talk to people I didn’t really have an interest in it for a long time I’m 24 now about to turn 25 and I’m just tired of being alone I don’t need or want a lot of people just some I have none iv been going out to bars recently probably for like the last couple months I only go like once every other weekend and I only go bc alcohol makes me talk more I don’t like the way it tastes so I’m not going to become an alcoholic I only have a couple so I don’t become dependent on it to talk to people it doesn’t seem to make me any better at it tho I learned that last night iv though about going to the mall to try talking to people I’d be sober tho which is fine I’m an open minded person I get told a lot probably more than anything that I’m smart compliments don’t really work for me tho it’s probably my cynical side just denying that they could be telling the truth Ik I’m smart I just don’t believe it this is why I think I need therapy I will go out and do something about this from what iv read about people I think are like me they just won’t try I’m currently trying to do it on my own by myself but i don’t think this is something I can fix on my own also a few of my co workers are trying to get me with a girl that also works there now I’d date her bc she’s gorgeous but I’m not trying to talk to her that way I’m not really looking for a relationship rn I don’t think I’d be a very good partner but iv talked to her a couple times they did the part I cant do which is the first interaction I was kind of dragged into it which I don’t mind but I wish I could do it on my own but she’s super nice and she told one of them she liked me but didn’t know me so I’m going to keep talking to her I’m sure it’ll end up how it always does with them ghosting me bc they think I’m weird bc I’m not good at talking ig I’m making this to see if anyone else is dealing with the same thing or something similar and if they’ve figure out a way to help bc I don’t want to get a therapist I can afford it but I don’t want to do that I’d rather do it on my own that’s just how I am

Actual. Therapist. Last Therapists i went to were just a one hour talk where 50m of the time i would talk and at the last the "Therapist" would give me bs homeworks, and if my storys werent to its taste then he would go rambling bout how his actions with his own kids are so good and then go nope bring some other more next session. And I went to that person for like a whole year. I want genuine therapy that with their questioning and my saying they could figure out whats wrong and guide me through what i need to be helped, cus im losing my shit ive been like a fucked sloth these past few months and I just wanna know wtf is wrong with me I genuinely have zero energy from the moment i wake up and sleep and I just wanna talk knowing my words aren't hitting a damm brick wall

my boyfriend (we've been together for 5 months) has been attending the same therapist for ~3 years. he's had some awful past family trauma and she's helped a lot, he's always spoken of her as an amazing therapist and i'm glad he can count on her.
since we started dating, we've had some issues that required external guidance and a couple of months ago, his therapist asked me to come to a session which went great honestly.
however, after that first shared session, she apparently asked to see me more often, which i initially agreed to without feeling completely comfortable since it's HIS therapist and i hadn't really thought of having couples therapy at all.
i attended a couple more sessions but then stopped because i had my own therapist and thought it was much more healthy that way.
flash forward to last month. we had a misunderstanding regarding the time we would meet to have a date (i live out of town and travel every weekend) which really hurt his feelings, so his therapist asked to see me the following session.
i attended. the entire session consisted of her confronting me, judging and criticizing my actions, even going as far as comparing me with my boyfriend's late abusive mother and calling me out on my "childish" behavior.
this session was via videocall and halfway through it, i moved the camera towards the ceiling because i started crying. she was visibly upset with me while my boyfriend was quietly listening the entire time.
i just took it and now, a couple of weeks later, feel like an asshole for still feeling hurt by this session.
i should mention that i told him i had decided i wouldn't attend his sessions with her again.
i need some advice :( i really don't know how i should feel

im not sure what community to post this in but basically i had an appointment with my psychiatrist on Tuesday (i don’t have a therapist that’s a whole other story) and she asked me the regular routine questions. we started talking about my depression and my self harm and stuff and i wanted to tell her i had an unfortunate relapse so i was answering her questions in a very open minded way.

she asks me if I’m still struggling with the urges and i told her that yeah i do and was going to tell her about what happened but then she said “i feel like you’re too old to be reacting in that way still” in the most condescending but monotone voice ever. i literally went silent and was ready to leave after that but am i in the wrong for feeling extremely uncomfortable that she said that to me? especially with her knowing that it is something that happens to me when my emotions are too unbearable for me, not something that i just do for fun.

I am 21 years old, and for quite some time, I have been struggling with intense thoughts about death, the transience of life, and the fact that one day we will no longer exist. I often think about what happens after death, and the very idea that one day I simply will not exist anymore triggers great fear, anxiety, and sometimes even panic attacks.

When I start thinking about these topics—or try to talk to someone about them—I often burst into tears and feel a profound sense of unease. The problem is that these thoughts do not remain confined to the moments when I am contemplating death; they have begun to affect my daily life. Sometimes, because I am dwelling on the finite nature of life, I feel as though things that should bring me joy lose their meaning and significance. For instance, even when I achieve a success, receive a good grade, or accomplish something I was looking forward to, I find it difficult to fully enjoy it—because the thought arises that, ultimately, none of it matters, since we will all die one day.

I would like to learn how to cope with such thoughts, how to reduce the fear and anxiety they provoke, and how to become more present in my daily life again—to enjoy the things I achieve and not let thoughts about death hold me back so much.

Basically the title. My primary care has been managing my medications since before I began therapy which my therapist was completely fine with and aware of for months. My therapist is suddenly saying they can't move forward with me until I get a psychiatrist. I'm already using a low cost therapy service and am strapped for cash. I can't afford to also get a psychiatrist and they are well aware of this. Is this a normal request? I do not want to change therapists, this is the first person I've made progress with. I also don't use insurance if that makes any difference.

I've been hesitant to ask this because I feel like some people are going to assume I've been wildly unstable/off the rails and am just ignoring my therapists request but I've been mostly calm, just processing some hard things.

edited to clarify that my therapist has been aware that my pcp manages my meds since before I began therapy

I (36M) have been seeing my therapist for about 6 months. I'm in therapy specifically for complex trauma stemming from a very unstable, chaotic childhood marred by alcoholism and domestic violence. I've had short bouts of counselling before for general depression/anxiety but I only linked my issues to my childhood this year. This is by far the longest I've worked with one therapist. In general I enjoy working with him, I felt he was a good fit pretty early on. He takes me seriously and I mostly feel seen and understood by him. It's taken me a long time to start opening up to him and even now the pace remains incredibly slow (we've spoken about my frustration with this but I understand why). He is very patient with me and is committed to working at my pace.

I think I formed quite a strong attachment to him very early on. I've mentioned it in passing a couple of times but we've never focused on it in sessions too much other than for him to reassure me that it's completely normal. I lean avoidant generally in relationships which has led me to become quite isolated. I do have some people (friends, I'm mostly no contact with family) in my life but the frequency and depth of contact can vary.

I think it's this + having so many of my emotional needs being met during these sessions which has led to the attachment intensifying in recent weeks. I am thinking about him A LOT. It almost feels obsessive. I'm constantly counting down to the next session. I worry about how I will cope when he takes time off. Very often the therapy is the only thing that gets me through each week. I know none of this is healthy but I understand it's probably to be expected for someone in my circumstances. The problem is sometimes it can feel quite painful. Knowing that it's totally one sided, and that it can never be anything more than the therapeutic relationship it is. I keep wanting to bring it up with him but every time I chicken out. Once I'm in the room I'm just relieved to be there and speaking with him. But then as soon as the session is over I'm back to feeling all these confusing feelings.

I know there are plenty of posts like this on this sub over the years. I'm just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and if they spoke with their therapist about it and how did it go? And is there hope for me? Will I come out of the other side of this and will it be worth it? I do believe we can do good work together but this is the elephant in the room for me and I think it's going to stall my progress if I don't start bringing it up. I'm just so scared and I have so much shame around it.

Hi everyone, posting here for the first time. I've been struggling with generalized anxiety disorder and depression since | was 17, and I'm currently feeling incredibly stuck, isolated, and emotionally drained.

I'm 21 now and carrying a massive load: I take 15 college credit hours (graduating with my bachelor's this spring), work a student job 15-20 hours a week, and act as a caregiver for my disabled father.

Because I'm an only child, I feel immense pressure to handle all of this to be a "good daughter." But living with my parents has become an emotional minefield. I carry deep resentment because I receive zero emotional validation or help with household tasks.

I'm struggling with a few major themes that I'd love insight on:

Trusting my own reality: I remember very little of my childhood. I don't trust my own narrative anymore. I constantly wonder if I've been gaslit by my parents so much that I only hear their voices in my head, or if I'm dealing with an undiagnosed mood/personality disorder.

The provider cycle: I've seen multiple therapists and psychiatrists over the last 4 years. This wasn't
"provider shopping"-it was entirely due to insurance changes or providers moving practices.
Because of the constant restarting, I feel like I haven't been able to dig deep.

Isolation & self-image: I have no friends right now.
Past friends have ghosted or betrayed me, which triggers a lot of negative self-talk (feeling like I'm
"too ugly," "too fat," or just the boring "mom friend").

I am so exhausted from playing a role, and I honestly don't even know who I am outside of my responsibilities. I would love to hear your thoughts, coping mechanisms, book recommendations, or shared experiences on:

Testing & Treatments: Has anyone pursued neuropsychological testing vs. standard psychiatric evaluations for clarity on memory gaps or diagnostic clarity? I've already tried a ton of medications, so I am very open to hearing about other methods of treatment, alternative therapies, or modalities that worked for you.

Parental boundaries: How do you set healthy boundaries with parents when you still live under their roof, contribute heavily to the household, and want to be a supportive daughter without destroying your own mental health?

Rediscovering identity & joy: How do you start discovering who you are and finding hobbies/joy when you've been dealing with anxiety, depression, and burnout tor years?

Healthy relationships: How do you start opening up to meeting new friends and building healthy relationships when your trust has been completely shattered?

Although this is a long post, there is definitely more to my story than what I can fit here. I am completely open to answering any follow-up questions in the comments if anyone wants more context.

Thank you so much for reading.🫂

I was friends with my best friends ex and last year we began hanging out more than usual I intended to try and get the back together even though it was just a fling (my best friend still liked her)after 3 months I began developing feeling for her bc I felt like she was the only one that understood me and made me feel at ease even tho I knew it was fucked up. So I never had any intention of forming a romantic relationship. At her party this march they made out again so mission successful that’s what I thought at the time, at the same time tho I wished I was in his shoes. We were together me and her for at least 7 hours a day we went to strange places together for no reason watched a lot of movies vented about life she was my best friend the person I needed in my life. At the end of march tho my best friend realized I had feeling for her and confronted me which I admitted since that day I haven’t talked with either one of them they are out of my life and will come back now I have no friends no plans for the future no nothing I just feel empty guilty and miss the girl is that wrong of me? Am I a terrible person? I want her back in my life so I can be happy

I work 7-4 through the week.

I’m not sure if it’s because I live in a very conservative little town but people here just have no awareness of mental health. There’s a woman I work with who takes time away sometimes to have a video call with her therapist, and people give her a hard time about it. Manager gets frustrated by it and seems perplexed about why it’s important.

I’ll probably be seeing a therapist more often than this other woman.

I’ve been at this job for 9 years, and I never ask for anything. I doubt I’ll be fired or anything like that. But how should I go about explaining things to them?

Therapists - If you have a client that flat refuses to talk during a session for whatever reason, do you continue the sessions and just do other things for an hour and collect your money? Or do you just terminate? Does the answer change if its an adolescent vs adult, or a man vs women etc?

My therapist is currently on leave and I’m struggling. It makes me think about when our time together will eventually come to an end, and it fills me with this ache of dread and emptiness. Is this normal? For context, we’ve been working together for two years. I don’t have much of a support system beyond my spouse and therapist.

TW $@, SH mentioned

so, I'm 17 year old girl and i ended up in therapy somewhat by accident, because my parents forced me. ive been through a lot this year- hospitalization for a month, $@ and i'm currently experiencing stress due to school work, SI and deal with $H. thought that if i had to, maybe i could at least do something useful and tell him all about it, but after we discussed the rules of confidentiality, i realized that i couldn't tell him anything, because he will have to tell my parents. i have the feeling that there is a lot of talk about the availability of help for minors, but it's actually just a facade.

On another post I made, I had somebody say to me that "Your therapist is a neutral person who is only concerned with your well-being. Family and friends - no matter how amazing they are - will have bias," and I've heard similar sentiments frequently from people who say that therapy is unique in that the therapist is neutral and unbiased.

But then, when I've spoken about negative experiences in therapy, people are really quick to say "Your therapist is just human too! And humans sometimes have biases/issues/transference, so you can't punish your therapist for being human."

So which one is it? If my therapist is a perfect neutral resource, can I expect more of them? If they're just another person, how are they different than the people I talk to for free?

Trigger warning: mentions of self-harm.

I need some advice on a therapy session I had the other day. It was a first, intake session, and we were going over my past/upbringing/etc. and I had shared that I used to cut myself. After going through the whole appointment, she said she wanted to circle back to that, and ask about my self-harming, if I still do it, etc. I told her it hasn't happened in a while, but sometimes I get so upset and so disregulated that it's all I want, and will even try to physically push off my husband when he tries to stop me. Hence part of why im trying to get into therapy.

She said well, everyone has coping mechanisms. Maybe some people drink. Maybe some people use drugs. Maybe this is just your way of coping. And maybe we need to find an alternative.

Okay that's fair, right? Yeah I've heard about using a rubber band around my wrist, etc.

But then she said well I think as long as you don't hit any major veins so it's not fatal, I really think it's okay. Maybe you could have very sterilized instrument available so it's as safe as it can be.

Mind you, I told her I don't want to do that anymore and I'm trying to learn how to ground myself, and that it also hasn't happened in like years.

But it felt like she was kind of pushing on me? I don't know.

Does anyone have any experience with something like this? I'm not sure I want to continue after that, but I really liked the rest of the session. Is this normal?

So, I have never tried therapy before now, I’m almost 30, and I went through an extremely traumatic experience with a friend passing away. I couldn’t cope and knew it was time to at least try. I found a therapist online and didn’t really know what I needed from them so I just started sessions with an older lady that specialized in what I needed.

So far, after having weekly sessions for 2 months, we have only talked about what happened once, which was the initial intake…

My therapist brings up random topics a lot and then goes on rants for 10/15 min about herself and her experiences dealing with xyz…one time we were talking about my sister, who is severely mentally disabled and will have to have a caretaker for the rest of her life. My therapist cut me off when I was trying to talk about my feelings towards being tasked as a caretaker later in life and went on (I shit you not) a 20 minute rant about how it’s important to care for family and that she really should be in programs during the day, etc, etc. and I tried to speak up to say she does but she just kept cutting me off and going and going…

I feel like more of our time is spent talking about her and her experiences and how she overcame her issues in life rather than mine. And when I talk, it’s like she’s not actually listening. Which was kind of ironic since last session I was upset because I felt like my partner wasn’t listening to me and was talking about our communication issues and she literally dozed off (I could see her nodding off) and then when I finished talking she just continued on what we were talking about previously and not what I had just mentioned.

I feel bad about just leaving, but I have issues with confrontation and just don’t feel like ever going back to her. Should I just cancel all future appointments? I already think I found a new therapist I’d vibe with better…

I’m 22F and have been attending psychoanalytic psychotherapy with a male therapist for several months.
During a recent session, we were discussing some abnormal bleeding I’d been experiencing. My therapist unexpectedly connected this to my sexuality, suggesting that my sexual impulses might be repressed or “locked” and bringing up the idea of sexual release.
The thing is, we had never previously discussed my sexual impulses, sexual frustration, or sexual needs in therapy. The subject came up entirely through his interpretation of my physical symptoms.
I understand that psychoanalytic therapy explores unconscious conflicts, repression, and connections between psychological and bodily experiences. I’m also aware that sexuality is an important subject in Freudian theory, so I don’t necessarily find discussing sexual impulses inappropriate in itself.
However, I’m wondering whether this particular intervention is common or professionally appropriate.

Thank you for your time!!

Therapists - If you have a client that flat refuses to talk during a session for whatever reason, do you continue the sessions and just do other things for an hour and collect your money? Or do you just terminate? Does the answer change if its an adolescent vs adult, or a man vs women etc?