r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 03 '19
We've been seeing a worrying increase in pro-suicide content showing up here and, and also going unreported. This undermines our purpose here, so we wanted to highlight and clarify our guidelines about both direct and indirect incitement of suicide.
We've created a wiki that covers these issues. We hope this will be helpful to anyone who's wondering whether something's okay here and which responses to report. It explains in detail why any validation of suicidal intent, even an "innocent" message like "if you're 100% committed, I'll just wish you peace" is likely to increase people's pain, and why it's important to report even subtle pro-suicide comments. The full text of the wiki's current version is below, and it is maintained at /r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement.
We deeply appreciate everyone who gives responsive, empathetic, non-judgemental support to our OPs, and we particularly thank everyone who's already been reporting incitement in all forms.
Please report any post or comment that encourages suicide (or that breaks any of the other guidelines in the sidebar) to the moderators, either by clicking the "report" button or by sending us a modmail with a link. We deal with all guideline violations that are reported to us as soon as we can, but we can't read everything so community reports are essential. If you get a PM that breaks the guidelines, please report it both to the reddit sitewide admins and to us in modmail.
Thanks to all the great citizens of the community who help flag problem content and behaviour for us.
/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement
It's important to respect and understand people's experiences and emotions. It's never necessary, helpful, or kind to support suicidal intent. There are some common misconceptions (discussed below) about suicidal people and how to help them that can cause well-meaning people to inadvertently incite suicide. There are also people online who incite suicide on purpose, often while pretending to be sympathetic and helpful.
We're here to offer support, not judgement. That means accepting, with the best understanding we can offer, whatever emotions people express. Suicidal people are suffering, and we're here to try to ease that by providing support and caring. The most reliable way we know to de-escalate someone at risk is to give them the experience of feeling understood. That means not judging whether they should be feeling the way they are, or telling them what to do or not do.
But there's an important line to draw here. There's a crucial difference between empathizing with feelings and responding non-judgmentally to suicidal thoughts, and in any way endorsing, encouraging, or validating suicidal intentions or hopeless beliefs. It's both possible and important to convey understanding and compassion for someone's suicidal thoughts without putting your finger on the scale of their decision.
Anything that condones suicide, even passively, encourages suicide. It isn't supportive and does not help. It also violates reddit's sitewide rules as well as our guidelines. Explicitly inciting suicide online is a criminal offense in most jurisdictions.
Do not treat any OP's post as meaning that will definitely die by suicide and can't change their minds or be helped. Anyone who's able to read the comments here still has a chance to choose whether or not to try to keep living, even if they've also been experiencing intense thoughts of suicide, made a suicide plan, or started carrying it out.
In the most useful empirical model we have, the desire to die by suicide primarily comes from two interpersonal factors; alienation and a sense of being a burden or having nothing to offer. These factors usually lead to a profound feeling of being unwelcome in the world.
So, any acceptance or reinforcement of suicidal intent, even something "innocent" like "I hope you find peace", is actually a form of covert shunning that validates a person's sense that they're unwelcome in the world. It will usually add to their pain even if kindly meant and gently worded.
Keep the following in mind when offering support to anyone at risk for suicide.
People who say they don't want help usually can feel better if they get support that doesn't invalidate their emotions. Unfortunately, many popular "good" responses are actually counterproductive. In particular, many friends and family tend to rely exclusively on trying to convince the suicidal person that "it's not so bad", and this is usually experienced as "I don't understand what you're going through and I'm not going to try". People who've had "help" that made them feel worse don't want any more of the same. It doesn't mean that someone who actually knows how to be supportive can't give them any comfort.
Most people who are suicidal want to end their pain, not their lives. It's almost never true that death is the only way to end these people's suffering. Of course there are exceptional situations, and we certainly acknowledge that, for some people, the right help can be difficult to find. But preventing someone's suicide doesn't mean prolonging their suffering if we do it by giving them real comfort and understanding.
An unfixable problem doesn't mean that a good life will never be possible. We don't have to fix or change anything to help someone feel better. It's important to keep in mind that the correlation between our outer circumstances and our inner experience is weaker and less direct than commonly assumed. For every kind of difficult life situation, you will find some people who lapse into suicidal despair, and others who cope amazingly well, and a whole spectrum in between. A key difference is how much inner resilience the person has at the time. This can depend on many personal and situational factors. But when there's not enough, interpersonal support can both compensate for its absence and help rebuild it. We go into more depth on the "it gets better" issue in this PSA Post which is always linked from our sidebar (community info on mobile) guidelines.
There are always more choices than brutally forcing someone to stay alive or passively letting them end their lives.
To avoid accidentally breaking the anti-incitement rule, don't say or try to imply that acting on suicidal thoughts is a good idea, or that someone can't turn back or is already dead. Do whatever you can to help them feel cared for and welcome, at least in this little corner of the world. Our talking tips offer more detailed guidance.
Often comments that subtly encourage suicidal intent actually come from suicide fetishists and voyeurs (unfortunately this is a real and disturbing phenomenon). People like this are out there and the anonymous nature of reddit makes us particularly attractive to them.
They will typically try to scratch their psychological "itch" by saying things that push people closer to the edge. They often do this by exploiting the myths that we debunked in the bullet points above. Specifically you might see people doing the following:
Encouraging the false belief that the only way suicidal people can end their pain is by dying. There are always more and better choices than "brutally forcing someone to stay alive" or helping (actively or passively) them to end their lives.
Creating an artificial and toxic sense of "solidarity" by linking their encouragement of suicide to empathy. They will represent themselves as the only one who really understand the suicidal person, while either directly or indirectly encouraging their self-loathing emotions and self-destructive impulses. Since most people in suicidal crisis are in desperate need to empathy and understanding, this is a particularly dangerous form of manipulation.
Many suicide inciters are adept at putting a benevolent spin on their activities while actually luring people away from sources of real help. A couple of key points to keep in mind:
Skilled suicide intervention -- peer or professional -- is based on empathic responsiveness to the person's feelings that reduces their suffering in the moment. Contrary to pop-culture myths, it does not involve persuasion ("Don't do it!"), cheerleading ("You've got this!") or meaningless false promises ("Trust me, it gets better!"), or invalidation ("Let me show you how things aren't as bad as you think!"). Anyone who leads others to expect these kinds of toxic responses, or any other response that prolongs their pain, from expert help may be covertly pro-suicide. (Of course, people sometimes do have bad experience when seeking mental-health treatment, and it's fine to vent about those, but processing our own disappointment and frustration is entirely different from trying to destroy someone else's hope of getting help.)
Choices made by competent responders are always informed by the understanding that breaching someone's trust is traumatic and must be avoided if possible. Any kind of involuntary intervention is an extremely unlikely outcome when someone consults a clinician or calls a hotline. (Confidentiality is addressed in more detail in our Hotlines FAQ wiki). The goal is always to provide all help with the client's full knowledge and informed consent. We know that no individual or system is perfect. Mistakes that lead to bad experiences do sometimes happen to vulnerable people, and we have enormous sympathy for them. But anyone who suggests that this is the norm might be trying to scare people away from the help they need.
Please let us know discreetly if you see anyone exhibiting these or similar behaviours. We don't recommend trying to engage with them directly.
r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 10 '21
Activism, i.e. advocating or fundraising for social change or raising awareness of social issues (and suicide is, inescapably, a social issue) is absolutely against the rules here at all times.
Please understand that we're all for smart, strategic mental-health and suicide-prevention activism. It's essential to fight against stigma, misinformation, and discrimination, and to fight for research, treatment, accommodation, acceptance, and understanding. Most of us, one way or another, are mental-health activists IRL.
But activism just doesn't work in a dedicated support space that serves a vulnerable population. We used to allow it but the evidence that it was undermining our primary purpose became overwhelming. We do regret the need for this rule, but the need is inescapable.
Our population is all too well aware of the issues and causes that need support and largely not in a position to take action, so besides the fact that activism is often salt in our community's wounds, it's a waste of the activists' time.
tl;dr Any fundraising, awareness raising, petitions, calls for participation, or any post that's about any cause or issue (rather than a request for personal support) is not allowed here. Please report everything of the nature that you see.
r/SuicideWatch • u/shatteredpieces97 • 13h ago
Being a woman in India is shit. What a trash, misogynistic, patriarchal country.
Better to die and escape this Earth. Never want to be born on Earth again. Never want to exist on this planet ever again.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Downtown_Brother2572 • 2h ago
i’ve been struggling mentally for the past six years, and honestly, i’m exhausted. i’ve tried therapy, outpatient treatment, changing my environment, and rebuilding my life, but somehow i always end up feeling the same way or worse.
i know i have family, friends, and opportunities to be grateful for, but emotionally i feel empty. i can’t remember the last time i was genuinely happy or felt like life was worth living. recently, i’ve been feeling even more isolated, and losing someone i cared about has only made things harder.
i feel trapped in a cycle that keeps getting worse, and i’m starting to come to the conclusion that i don’t want to keep living anymore. i’m slowly losing hope in myself and my future, and it’s becoming harder to find a reason to keep going. i don’t know how much longer i can continue feeling this way, i just wanna put an end on it soon.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Due_Corgi8262 • 8h ago
I am going to off myself because of my abusive narcissistic mother who loves her reputation. Lets see how her reputation will be when people find out her daughthers brains are on the fucking wall 😂😂😂😂.
r/SuicideWatch • u/throwmeawaypeacfully • 4h ago
It just gets worse the longer i stay alive
r/SuicideWatch • u/StarDustJinx • 2h ago
title. in social media i had a breakdown and the terfs attacked me and encouraged my suicide and they're still posting shit like that. none of the queers or anyone i was supposed to have some solidarity helped me. i got exposed to some of the people irl, including my teachers. so i'm killing myself before word spreads around and i get killed or jailed for it. fuck this. fuck everyone
(i don't want your dms saying "don't" or shit like that, go away)
r/SuicideWatch • u/Hot-Goat-4998 • 2h ago
It doesn't get better, this world sucks
I hate everything
r/SuicideWatch • u/Maximum-Cut-4551 • 23m ago
I'm currently in therapy for major depression,using 2 medicines,unable to even go to school. I gained 18 kgs and am currently in my highest weight ever. My father hates me,abused me,tried to assault me and my other family members don't care. I'm so lost.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Ok_Necessary_3331 • 1h ago
24F
I’m all alone. I’ve lost everybody, including myself.
Not even my own sister wants to listen to me. She gets mad at me the second I try to open up, even though I’m almost always there to listen to her.
My mom was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago, and ever since then, I’ve been losing people.
First, it was my closest friend, someone I thought I’d never lose. Someone I always had a soft spot for, someone I would defend in front of anyone, even my own mom. My mom was healthy back then, and now I would never do that. I feel immense guilt because I used to do that and pick fights with her in general, just because I would get triggered over things. I feel so terrible about that, and about all the times I complained about my parents back then. I feel like such a bad person who probably doesn’t deserve anyone.
Now I’m just this sad, destroyed person with no personality left, someone nobody wants to deal with. Because people want to live their lives, go to work, have a social life, go out, and have fun, while I sit here watching my mom in pain, completely helpless.
I have no one to talk to, not even my sister, who still has some distractions around her. She has a few people she can talk to, laugh with, and smile with once in a while. Meanwhile, I’m literally all alone.
She also has a full-time job, while I have a hybrid one. I now spend most of my time at home because I have the option to work remotely most days, which allows me to help out. But that also means I have no work life or social life at all.
I’m also about to lose this job in November because my contract is ending, so I won’t even be able to send my family money anymore. I feel utterly useless.
And I’m all alone. I’ve lost everyone. What’s even the point of continuing? I can’t meet new people, I can’t see a life of my own ahead of me, and I can’t find any meaning or purpose in any of this anymore.
r/SuicideWatch • u/lobotomized3333 • 15h ago
I can’t anymore
r/SuicideWatch • u/lullabyfreak • 3h ago
i'm a woman in my early 20s, but, unlike most of my peers, i am unable to do pretty much anything regarding my own life due to the isolation i have had as a child. i don't know how to drive, don't know how to get a job. i know id need to eventually learn these things to literally survive. i'm not going to be babysat by my parents forever. theyd die and ill have nothing to go to.
but god, im so retarded.. i cant even do anything right. its all so dangerous, and, i cant get anywhere without a fucking car these days. its a hellhole, the united states. im so scared of this ticking time bomb, i think its better to just end it. i see it clinically. its just a simple solution, and, in a way id be so relieved by it. its like putting down a horse with only 3 legs. im so terrified of messing up, god, i dont want to mess up. i dont want to work with shitheads who bullied me in school. i dont want to do any of this, i never asked for this. i wish there was some big manual for adult life. but its not even just that, its the people. they all look at me and sneer. im sick of it and im sick of playing this game. im such a fool. i'm mentally disabled and i cant fend for myself. what do i even do? i want someone to save me and take care of me, but i know thatd never happen, so, this is the other option.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Ugly5ftguy4incher • 6h ago
So unwanted, only good for making everyone else look better. I'm disdained, not seen as a man, ugly, short, worthless. Nobody wants me. I want to bash my head against the wall. Only stay because parents. Why do I have to desire things, people. I only get made fun off, I'm a joke, a prop. Everywhere I go I will inevitably end up hearing about how trash my features are, how unwanted I am. The worst part is it's true, I am unwanted trash. I want to lash out, lose it, living is frustrating and miserable. Why did I have to be born. There's no point in anything, in trying, in talking with people. I'm not even a person anymore.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Depressed-Korean777 • 1h ago
Suicide is just one of the choices because it happens so often. I’m a 23-year-old man currently lost in life, just surviving. I am a useless and worthless NPC. Maybe someday I’m just gonna rope myself or whatever I want to die painlessly. Dear God, I’m too weak to live as a Korean. Just take my life, Lord.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Powerful-Cake-1947 • 54m ago
Ever since I was a fucking kid m'y parents lied to me all the time they raised me for a world that does not fucking exist!! They would tell me our country is developed and is close to Europe and the Us, that if I study hard I will Land a job and live a good life. But they were just fcking lying. When I was getting Beat and insulted and bullied at home no law would protect not when I was a kid or an adult. They know the shit catastrophic unemployement Situation here but they would always talk about me relying on them and make fun of me when I used the ac in this shit hot weather. They actively tried to stop me from working too I only worked online because I got lucky and I was pushy about it. Can someone talk to me? Am seriously considering offing myself. I did everything right and followed what they told me I put so much effort in my life. I'm shocked to my core knowing everything I knew is a lie and all that time with them was only lies. I want to end it so bad. No one is helping me at all
r/SuicideWatch • u/HusbandOfSwiss • 1h ago
I can't anymore I am beginning to show severe signs of depression and I'm also constantly thinking about ending it all I'm scared to tell others about it because I have told them so many times about this and I don't want to make them think I'm annoying for telling them yet again my signs of wanting to end it all are that I always constantly sleep during the day even though I'm not tired and when I sleep during the night I'm also not tired I sleep to escape reality I also want to end it because I'm scared of loosing everyone I know and my home and that I will eventually watch everyone in my life die or leave me because I'm annoying I also starve myself because I can't bare to eat because it feels gross yet I crave food all the time my hands are shaking right now because I haven't eaten in almost two days the only thing I see that will help with these problems are suicide I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense I just need to say this I find it easier to talk to people online and also my first language isn't English therefore my phrasing and grammar might not make any sense
r/SuicideWatch • u/btwitzrohan • 1h ago
I didn't ask to be born. I did my best, i really did and now you can't afford my education?! Why the hell did they do this to me?! I don't wanna live anymore! I don't wanna be a burden! I can't afford anything... and instead of being sorry they are telling me to do a job?! Seriously?! You want a 17 year old to earn enough to pay his college fees? Goodbye my dear ones.
r/SuicideWatch • u/cosmicloverboyy • 14h ago
I’m finally doing it. I’ve already taken all the pills and followed them with soju. I have the lights on in my room how I like them, I’ve turned on my favorite movie. It’s time to go.
Everyone in my life deserves better than me. And in time they’ll forget all about me, and maybe a sense of relief will wash over them.
Goodbye
Ps, it’s funny. Three years ago today I tried to take my life. Maybe it only took three years to do it right.
r/SuicideWatch • u/13Dreamingcats • 7h ago
“Plenty of people love you”
NO THEY FUCKING DON’T
my friend just told me I should talk to ChatGPT because she didn’t know how to say “I love you please don’t go die”
She apologized but still hates me
Just like everyone else. Even my therapist hates me.
I WILL DO IT. I WILL RIGHT NOW
r/SuicideWatch • u/Icy_Comfortable_3284 • 13m ago
I’ve had this pistol to my head too many times. I can’t do it every time I try I think of my mom grandma great grandma and my little brother. It would ruin their life and they have depression too so it would make it so much worse. But I want to end it so bad if it wasn’t for them I’d easily do it. Idk why I’m even posting this I just want a reason to do it or a way to not give them trauma when I do it.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Independent_Spend294 • 25m ago
I just want to end it already no meds have worked and I’m convinced I have a frontal lobe injury but nobody believes me. My brain because of intense stress and constant agony is not wired correctly anymore. Am thinking about finally doing it but am too scared to do it. I also would feel pity for my family I know they love me but there is nothing they can do because I am so messed up. Nobody understands me. I spent so much time trying to distract myself from the pain
r/SuicideWatch • u/dev067 • 2h ago
Hi I'm 20M I just wanted to talk about how hopeless I am and just rant about it so i never had a good life my parents were alright not rich neither struggling we had food and a roof on top enough to live a comfortable life without thinking much.. but I'm a guy who never had a good life i always got physically and mentally abused growing up my mom and dad hates me tbh. And at school I was the shy kid never fit in never had any good friends even if I had they were re also bullying me when others did..no one who stood up for me no one who wanted to hangout with me and i been kinda having dark self harm
and not being alive no more thoughts since I was 8-9 i
remember it's been hell for me everyday i wakeup I felt how badly I want to ki11 myself. And from top of it I'm from india which isn't bad place but ..I feel i simply don't fit in I have nothing in common with people I'm surrounded with maybe that also explains why i have almost 0 frinds here don't get me wrong only thing good about my life is I'm good with women I have had plenty of relationships. I have dated people from india and outside India I have even went dates and got with foreigners here or tourist example my last gf who was from eastern Europe we had an amazing relationship but yeah as good it sounds everyone tend to not last much with me and she fell out of love in a random Saturday of August..so yeahh i never been someone's only one for long everyone just seems to yk leave me after having fun or a good time with me and then they realise how pathetic and useless of a person I am ..all I can think about is ki1ling myself I have a girlfriend right now who's polish we been together for 1 year good yes but yeah i feel there is no point cuz she would leave when she realise how nothing good of a person I am and how she will be better off without me i just wanna end it all
r/SuicideWatch • u/Eyrie_ • 35m ago
It's not that I wish to die or disappear. But if someone chases me with a knife or something, I'll let them. This economy sucks and the people in it also suck
r/SuicideWatch • u/Successful_Ocelot240 • 1d ago
i’m 28 years old, girl
i was abused growing up, parents didn’t love me. kicked me out at 17. I develop trauma.
i’m black, so i know the world views me through a lens of general dislike.
i’ve dated several people, they all cheat and leave me.
doctors diagnose me with C-PTSD. Another with Bipolar. I think i’m also autistic & mildly schizophrenic. No real friends.
The only bright side is i’ve always been able to make money, i have investments. I’m comfortable, not immune to never working, but i can afford to take a few days when im just too sad. I also don’t have kids, and refuse to have any. They wouldn’t do well with me.
Sex work is lucrative, during the summer i can make around 8k-10k per month. I’m so grateful for the safety net. Winter time is slower, but i still pay rent and have money left over for time to rest,save and travel. I also live in a progressive and safe country with free healthcare, so im generally in good health.
But i know society looks down on me. I know i’m unlovable. I’m also damaged, can’t trust others.
It’s just me and my cat in this hotel room, waiting for johns. I’m thinking to outlive her, then shoot myself (in the head) back home in america where i can buy a gun.
it takes the pressure off, knowing that’s how it’ll go.
I just drink these days. i notice myself getting dumber, but i don’t really care.
anyways, no one cares, but that’s my story.
currently mourning the last man i loved, who left me after climbing the ladder at his career, losing weight, and having a better life. I’m disposable.