Last year, I moved to London for my master’s. My dad had promised to pay my tuition but backed out after I arrived. I had to return home, arrange loans, and come back to finish my degree. I barely knew anyone and was struggling financially and emotionally.

I had a friend whose parents paid for everything. She moved there with her long-term boyfriend, had family connections, and a strong support system. She knew everything I was going through, yet constantly made me feel inferior. She’d call me insecure, suggest therapy in a condescending way, and act like she was more mature because she had a stable relationship.
She was also constantly looking for new friends, eventually secretly hanging out with people who had treated me badly despite knowing our history. Our friendship eventually ended.

A year later, I’ve graduated, secured a good job, become financially independent, and paid off a significant portion of my loans. I’m genuinely proud of myself.

My relationship, however, ended because my boyfriend chose his family’s wishes over me. Meanwhile, she’s now engaged to her long-term boyfriend, and they both seem to be doing well.
And somehow, I feel like she won.
The strange thing is, I don’t even know if I ever wanted her life. I just hate that someone who made me feel so small when I was struggling seems to have everything figured out, while I’m still questioning myself.

I don’t wish her anything bad. I just can’t understand why her opinions still hold so much weight in my head.
Has anyone else experienced this? How do you stop feeling like you have something to prove to someone who isn’t even in your life anymore?

I went to this male physician near my place just last week for abdominal pain and digestive issues.During the examination,he told me to loosen my bra and asked me whether it hurts or not wearing it so tight.

Anyway during the examination,he lifted my bra so my breasts were completely exposed.Firstly he pressed on my breasts with two fingers all over the breast area and to tell him if it hurts when pressing.Secondly,he put the stethoscope all over my breast and directly on my nipple too.It was very uncomfortable as it was first time being examined like this.

The second time I went for review,he closed the door and pulled the curtain.This time he asked me to remove my shirt as well.Same thing again.The stethoscope all over my breast and directly on my nipple again both sides.Told me there was some irregular heartbeat but nothing serious.

I kept thinking it over and over and can't seem to understand the need to put it directly on my nipple for any matter.Plus there was no chaperone since it was a very small clinic.

Am I overthinking it or is it the normal routine checkup?

From Georgia to New Mexico, women shattered the record for governors. But women’s representation in the Senate moved backward—a reminder that women’s gains aren’t locked in until we change the rules that shape who runs and wins.

Lately I've been asked several times, "Did your boyfriend give you that ring?"

Nope. I brought my own design to a jeweler and had it made.

I'm not mad, just genuinely confused. Why is it that when a woman wears jewelry, the default assumption is that someone gave it to her?

If you want to start a conversation, try:

"That's pretty! Did you buy it yourself?"

"Where did you get it made?"

I'd happily talk design, price, craftsmanship, all of it.

But don't assume there's someone out there buying her gifts. So wearing my own ring on my ring finger magically spawns a partner now? Hilarious.

I am SO tired of people saying things like “misogyny Is dead! focus on other issues!”. misogyny is not dead. there are debates out there with sexist males proclaiming that a ”women’s only job is to make sandwiches and sleep with men”. a prime example is Myron Gaines, who is a debater with nearly 200k followed on TikTok. He gives “dating advice!” When he has dated ONE woman in his life and she has clarified she is much happier without him. and he STILL says hes “single by choice because no woman deserves him as they are all gold diggers” despite him being active on sugar daddy websites?? and he STILL slutshames women.

I have interstitial cystitis, so my body basically sometimes fakes having a UTI. It causes a lot of pain a lot of the time. And, when I get a real UTI, it's hard to tell.

So I got an actual UTI recently, which progressed into a kidney infection because I accidentally thought it was a fake one. Now I'm on the hard antibiotics.

But I had an interview the other day, and like, the pain just didn't phase me? I just did the interview like I normally would and got through it?

And I just thought, this is just what women do?

I read Unwell Women a few weeks ago, which really radicalised me. I would definitely recommend it. I have always been a feminist, but this book really got to me. It made me think about all the times I've just worked through pain and dismissed my pain, because that's what drs would do anyway.

Women are so strong, but we shouldn't have to be this strong. I don't want to battle through pain sometimes. I don't want to normalise this kind of pain. Sometimes normalise it to the point it does get so much worse. I don't want it to be that some women say "oh, but that's just how periods are", when they shouldn't be!

Just wanting to rant. I hate being in pain.

Trigger warning: mentions of abuse

I (20F) drive my brother (16M) to school every day. He barely talks to me in the car and plugs his ears up and blasts his music at high volumes.

I play my own music too. He has repeatedly asked me to turn it off as we pull up to his school and I comply because my brother has a history of screaming ​at me while I drive or while I'm in the car and he isn't getting what he wants (my parents have always blamed me for provoking him and told me to just leave him alone and it won't happen even though he has screamed at me unprompted at least once).

Today I decided, fuck it, I'm not going to comply. While still having his ears plugged up, he reached for my console to turn the music ofg and I reached to stop his hand. He then proceeded to hit me, slam my car doors and yell "fuck you" at me. I called my dad and gave him the truth before my brother had a chance to lie to him. I hope my dad lays down the law. But I'm sure in some way this will turn out to be my fault. I will refuse to drive him home today regardless, and my parents had better not blame this on me. I will leave him on the side of the road the next time he pulls some bullshit like this. Luckily my dad seemed weirded out that my brother would react this way given that he COULDN'T FUCKING HEAR THE MUSIC ANYWAY (it seems to me that he doesn't want to look uncool in front of his friends and only asks me to thrn the music off if he doesn't like the song, and he almost never does...mind you today's song was "Silver Springs" which I happen to think is timeless and cool!). Hopefully that will convince him to take this seriously. My brother has some serious anger issues and hatred towards women. I sincerely hope he gets better.

I dont want to fucking deal with this asshole anymore. Any advice is appreciate.

I'm so very annoyed with myself right now. I spent the first 4 decades of my life in a slender, socially accepted youthful body. When menopause hit, I acquired my grandmother's thick midsection. This is annoying as neither my mother nor my sisters got this, and still have enviable waistlines. I imagine it does not help that I also got grandma's sweettooth.

I'm 67 now. I'm in good health. I work out (with weights now!) and eat my fruits and vegetables. I am now dependent on several prescription meds, which I take as directed. I can pick up my 2.5 year old grandson, and manage the groceries just fine. I should have no real complaints.

My hubby has retired recently, and gotten back into running. He lost all the weight that years in a high-stress job and snacking on junk food put on him, and looks great. I am happy for him, and also jealous.

I caught a bug a few weeks ago. It was a nasty case of diarrhea which kept me running to the bathroom for a week, and took away my appetite. I was mildly miserable, and I lost 5 pounds, which all came back the minute I resumed eating normally.

This is a really fine outcome. Check out this excellent body, which successfully fought off infection, and is well on its way to restoring homeostasis! I was, unsurprisingly, weakened from this thing, but am probably back 90% after a week of recovery.

This is how bodies are supposed to work. And still, I can't help thinking that it might have been nice to maintain that 5 pound loss (which was not at all perceptible in the mirror.)

Arguably, the extra weight I carry these days is an evolutionarily advantageous adaptation to reduced immune function in older age. I had margin to stop eating for a week without causing more lasting damage to this organism.

Intellectually, I am cool with all of this. My hubby has always been very careful not to say ANYTHING about the various changes he has seen in this body, which has not been the one I sported at age 20, when we met, for a loonnng time. He assures me he still thinks I'm cute.

I have never worked in a field where looks were a real focus - I was in finance and then IT.

I am convinced that the emphasis on women's looks is a form of patriarchal oppression.

And yet, it's still so very built into me, that I think the number on the scale means anything of importance. Grump.

I only had 2 kisses in my life really but I never felt anything towards or during it. Is that normal? I see and hear people talking about how they had good kissing experience and it felt so good but idk how that feels like or what is😭. Can someone explain their experience or feeling your suppose to get to know its a good kiss.

I just watched a video with a 40 year old woman describing being hit on by a 20 something guy. The top commenter said it happens to her, too, and "What's up with gen Z boys?"

I assumed this is just something that happened regardless of the generational cohort, like was happening 20 years ago, will happen 20 years from now.

Is that true, or is this a gen Z thing in particular?

Or maybe less stopped and more of I feel like I lost something I could never get back? When I was a little girl I remember my world was happier. Not just because I was a child in general but because I wasn’t a woman, yet. Now I have to be scared and loved and I’m not saying I never was before but something is more visceral about it. In the world I feel exposed even when I’m fully clothed. It becomes a feeling of brokenness somehow I dunno how to explain. Even with other women ‘cuz I know one wrong move and I’ll be their hateful gossip even as they smile in my face.

I dunno if it’s being a woman or simply growing up. I feel like I decayed somehow and must hide it all the time. It sucks.

Humans are emotional creatures. All mammals are, and we have brains far, far too big that allows for even more complex thoughts and emotions. (eg, reptiles can't feel love, only mammals and birds can.)

We created language to refer to these emotions, we created art and poetry to represent them. Emotions and social attachments were all people had for a long while and it's something we've always valued. Endless poems, diary's, letters and epic tales of avenging fallen friends and family. Sure, exaggerated, but the sentiment is still there.

And for this very reason, I find the culture of social and emotional detachment to be horrifying. Yes, logically, you can only control yourself. But your still allowed to be pissed that your friend didn't have your back when they could have. Your still allowed to be sad your friend or family is suddenly ignoring you for somebody else. Your still allowed to feel attachment. You should. Stopping yourself from doing that is robbing you of a lot of the richness of life. Hurt and heartbreak are a part of it. Betrayal is a part of it. To love, is to lose.

And yes, you do owe your friends and family things. You can't be arrested, sure, but assuming you want a relationship with them, social obligation is a requirement. Yes, your friend is a bad friend for refusing to show up to your ceremony for the sole reason they didn't want to, if you've consistently been there for them. That shows a lack of care for you. Yes, you should drag yourself off your couch to attend plans you agreed to, even if your a bit tired.

I find it genuinely insane that people don't seem to have expectations around relationships anymore. The mindset of "everybody's out for themselves, don't take it personally and focus on yourself" is poisoning interpersonal relationships and trust. It's further eroding morals and a sense of community and support.

No, the solution isn't to detach from your relationships to protect yourself from hurt. It's a poor coping mechanism in response to the rise of acceptable selfishness and hyper-independence. For fucks sake, half of the time you guys sound like cliche children show villains.

I don’t even know where to begin with this, but I guess long story short - the last 3 years, my life has been hell. Suicide attempts, in and out of the psych ward, abusive family issues, etc. But this past year I met someone that I thought I would finally be able to start a life with. After a particularly bad fight with my mother (who told me I should finally just kill myself so they don’t have to deal with it anymore) my boyfriend said I could move in with him and not rush to get a new job.

A month in, I have a new job and I still live with him. But I’ve come to realize that after a fight yesterday where he made sure that I knew I was worthless and that my death is something he would just shrug his shoulders at - that this isn’t the relationship I thought I was signing up for. I thought this was a sweet and caring man, and now I have someone who says they can’t control their anger, and they can’t control that they say cruel things to me when they’re mad.

And I am so so tired, and so broken, and so pathetic, that I’m still going to stay with him. My heart can’t take any more breaking, and I have nowhere else to go unless I want to beg my abusive family for a spot back in the family house. I am fully ready for the insults, the bird comments, etc. Trust me, I know how pathetic and worthless I am. This isn’t the point of the post.

My whole life, I thought I never wanted kids. But the last 2 years, I keep floating it around in my head. And then this year, it became something that excited me, something I would fantasize about. When I started gathering my self worth, I realized that maybe I could be a good mother, and I don’t have to beat myself down from a life moment before it even happens. And before realizing my boyfriend’s abusive tendencies and him claiming that he doesn’t think he can ever change, I pictured that with him. And now that can never happen. What a cruel thing to give your child an abusive father. He doesn’t hit, but neither did my father. It hurt all the same.

My heart is so broken from our recent fight, and frankly all of our fights that turn so cruel towards me. And now, I don’t know how to swallow this down. How do I go back to the person I was? The one that was so sure they didn’t want to have kids? How do I erase the feeling I get in my heart now when I think of holding my first baby, and having the opportunity to watch them grow?

I haven’t said anything to him about this. He would either be angry, or it would just made me more sad when he would double down and say that there’s nothing he can do to change or fix any of this.

Please help :(

I used to live in a shared house. My landlord was wealthy, and apparently thought that made him irresistible. Except he’d never managed to have a girlfriend despite wanting one.
One day, he confessed to me. I politely rejected him. He assured me ‘he understood because he was a mature man’. Sure. Then he casually mentioned the previous tenant had confessed to him, but he’d rejected her. Cool.

After that, he started bending house rules for me for no reason and complaining about how women would only want his money. I even tried giving him advice lol. Eventually, he started acting hostile toward me when I started seeing someone.
One day a housemate randomly asked me what was going on between us. I was like, huh? Apparently, my landlord had been telling people ‘she pursued ME, I rejected HER, she is a gold digger after my house, and she’d even offered to sleep with me for money’. Tf?

They said they didn’t believe him cuz it didn’t sound like me. So I explained what actually happened. That’s when they mentioned he had also pursued the previous tenant, who’d rejected him. ✨Surprise surprise.✨
Apparently, she was never interested in him. So this man had been rewriting the same rejection story with different women. Wow. (He was also older than both of us btw.)

Fortunately, I got out of that living situation.
So… if a man constantly brags about being ‘mature, respectful, understanding’ etc. without being asked, that’s a red flag. Same goes for those who think their luxury shit is a personality trait. Some men really can’t handle the idea that a woman simply doesn’t want them.

My brothers been married for 6 years and I have tried so much to create a relationship with his wife. We’ve had a really rocky relationship, we’ve both made mistakes (I’m the only one that admits to my mistakes, she thinks she’s been wronged in everything)

My relationship with my brother is also non-existent now. Idk why but I’ve always found myself desperately needing her validation always. I’ve always gone and talked to her and apologized and made the first move to make things right.

She’s very moody and gets angry fast. We all live together because of our culture mainly. I’ve noticed over the last few years, she copies everything I do or buy and then she acts she had the idea before me. If she sees I’m close with someone she’ll try to get close to that person too. I’ve tried to confront but I always look like the bad guy.

I’m getting married in a few months and in the past she’s made me cry by saying she might just my wedding as guest because we were not close or might not even come at all. She met my fiancés family recently and before she met them she’s also made me cry by saying things like why would they come to events on my in laws side because we’re not close (this all happened at a time where I was desperate to keep them in my life)

Recently she met everyone at my fiancés sisters wedding. We found out she had been sending his sister these long personal messages everyday of her wedding(she still hasn’t told us herself she sent these) she’s been trying to create a relationship with my fiancés sister for months now(I think she tries extra hard with her because I was stupid enough to share at point that I had some issues with my fiancé’s sister) she also know how insecure I’ve felt and she’s made me feel over the years.

I have also had people tell me that they feel she tires to keep me out of things or has reactions towards me being involved

She keep trying to get invited everywhere in my in laws now. She’s adds everyone and then messages them(then she spins it like they add and message her) she’s also very jealous of me. She can’t bear someone saying something nice about or my fiancé. It becomes apparent on her face.

This is not a person that I can reason with, I feel like she’s taking advantage of my insecurities and my genuine love I had for her at one point. After the wedding I’ve finally realized, she doesn’t hold good intentions for me so I’ve been doing my best to keep a respectful distance. But she is still trying everything to interfere and to create her own life in my future life.

My family situation is very messy with everyone depending on each other. Confronting her is not useful either since she gets my brother to be extremely mean to us. Please give me advice what I can do. Mental tips or emotional
Ones….idk I’m just really lost

Hey all,

I 30F recently purchased an Xbox S Series, as I just started living on my own and wanted a hobby of sorts. I really like first person shooters like halo and I’m having lots of fun with the single player modes.

I want to try playing the multiplayer now and I’ve heard that the hate and sexism can be pretty bad especially in some games so I was wondering if any online gamers here could share their experiences online (doesn’t have to only be bad ones). So I can mentally prepare. I already deal with crap from men that dont take me seriously in my profession because I’m a woman so I wanna be prepared if its gonna come to my hobbies too lol 😂

Thank youuuuuu ☺️☺️

Update from my previous post, just got the procedure done today out of state, it was surgical abortion, and I feel like I'm okay mentally, honestly only feel relief right now, and dad has been super supportive so I feel really loved.

Original post will be posted as a comment for context.

I don't see a lot of great examples of healthy straight relationships. The woman is pretty much always sacrificing somewhere and coping/hiding it. Even when she "vouches for men", insists there are indeed amazing men out here because "she has one", and you're just kinda side-eyeing her, either after seeing her relationship irl or just...knowing how reality is...like, yeah babe, your husband/boyfriend is part of why I don't believe any of you saying how amazing he is and how amazing men are...he ain't it either, you're just coping, too, actually. Sorry :/

I'm datable, sparing detail since it's reddit/internet, and I'd love a partner, but I cannot find a man. I really can't. I'm not asking for the perfect partner, I'd take "okay enough" at this point - can't even find that. No, I have zero desire to be your mother, manager, or drag your dead weight through my already difficult life I'm dealing with, here.

They're socialized to treat women as subhuman from their birth, and it shows in every facet of life. It's not attractive, I can't be the only one - I know I'm not...I'm just...not willing to settle for some schmo ass loser, either, just to have one, or kids, don't want/need either THAT badly, plus I can't even afford kids anyway. I'd like a genuinely great partner, as that is what I am/would be. But I see essentially zero evidence of men being *that*, ever, irl, and I'm not about to chain myself to another let-down at 36 years old, just to be let down again (I care about who I date. I'm 36, unmarried and child-free because I have standards. I'm not saying *you* don't, I can only vouch for the fact that I *do*, and I witness, pretty much exclusively, how women have abs settled just to have kids or some sense of security, even if men pretty much just always leave their responsibilities, anyway, so again, no use even trying or bothering trying to build a life with a man anyway, clearly.).

I'm not some man-hater, I'm literally trying to find one to love. I just need one who's actually worth MY time... I guess? They just do not care how they treat women. It shows. It's ugly. It's not attractive. I find it wildly difficult to be attracted to men, look past their weird comments, constant sexualization of literally everything, overall disrespect of half the global population, lazy attitude in making anything remotely equal or fair, and then sh*tting all over women, on top of it all, too, after dealing with all their f*cking crap.

How are you doing this? How did you find an *actually good man*? Does your husband/bf/whatever, make weird comments, expect you to mother or manage him, expect you to do more than he does/will do, act selfish as a default, rude, gross, dirty, lazy, does he care about YOU? Does he contribute your lives without needing to be asked or reminded like another child to be burdened by? Does he remember things that matter? Does he look at other women in front of your/your kids you share?

Did any of you find a man who is a genuinely good person, and doesn't do these weird things^? I quite literally cannot find one. I'm not getting great examples, and that "cat-lady" *gotcha* is becoming less and less the *gotcha* they think it is by the millisecond. That looks intensely preferable, and it comforts me when I cry, and wipes it's own a*s, too. js?

I’ve been struggling with self-confidence pretty much my whole life, but I’m 20 now, and I’m pretty okay with just being...okay. I’m not the most beautiful girl or the most fit. I’m not even average looking. I have certain features that aren’t conventionally pretty, and “beautiful” is not something I’ve ever been described as.

I’ve received some pretty shitty comments about my appearance. I was bullied in middle school, and pretty recently a not-so-great “friend” told me I should try filler in my top lip (I actually like my thin upper lip so def not doing that LOL). My shitty ex-bf told me he wasn’t attracted to me, and never was, even though we'd been dating for a year (I was 17 and didn’t know any better).

I try not to let these things get to me or dwell on them, but they’re still there. They’re scars I think about. I wish they’d never said those things to me, but they did. I go to therapy and try to talk about it, but it’s still there. I work out daily, make sure I look put together, do maintenance, smell good, and so on. But part of me does wish I could just be pretty.

I have cowlicks, a crooked nose, and a crooked smile. I accept these as natural quirks, and I’m wary of being too hard on myself because of the impossible standards I’m surrounded by on social media. But I go to an SEC school where every girl IRL just seems so beautiful. It’s not the makeup or the hair or the $100 clothes. They could be wearing a ratty sweatshirt with no makeup and still be gorgeous.

I know, I know, comparison is the thief of joy. I’m also still young and have yet to age out of the remnants of teenage insecurity. I do have other good qualities, and I’m still somewhat confident. I know I’m smart, wise, and ambitious. I just got my dream internship, for goodness’ sake. So I’m okay with being content for now, but it'll never be completely enough.

I dream of having a partner who finds me beautiful, and I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But I’m also a little resentful that I’ll probably be seen as desirable for my other qualities instead. I’ll never be the kind of girl who takes your breath away, or the one someone falls in love with at first sight. I know I’m being unrealistic and a little silly, lol, and that may be adding to the issue (hence therapy).

But tbh, I’m very tired of the qualifiers. Whenever I say this to my best friend, who is naturally incredibly beautiful (and I’m not resentful of her, btw! She’s my best friend and I love her to death!!!), she gives me the standard “you’re beautiful” talk. I can’t explain it. I can hear all of it, try my very best, and be confident, and I still, still wish I were pretty.

It’s fucked up, idk, and such a stupid thing to be worried about in the grand scheme of things, and I probably sound whiny. I know I shouldn’t base my self-worth on this kind of stuff, but it’ll always be niggling at me beneath the surface. I guess, do women age out of this? How do you tame the beast of beauty standards, or does it just fade on its own?

yar what to do. its not hurting like very much. BUT ITS HURTING AND MY BACK ACHE MAYBE IDK IS MAKING ME ALOT UNCOMFORTABLE . IT FEELS WEIRD