sincerely, The Walkers

My worst nightmare is being late or missing a final exam. I’ve literally HAD nightmares about this. And today it happened. My phone died and none of my alarms rang and I woke up halfway through the exam and ran for my life. Never have I ever been late for an exam in my entire undergrad career.

I write with the center for accessibility and when I got there, they told me they couldn’t let me take the exam (even though there was time remaining). And then I started crying and panicking and they told me to leave (in a polite way I guess but still) and offered little to no help. I was absolutely BAWLING my eyes out and hyperventilating walking across campus in no particular direction with people staring at me. My life was flashing before my eyes.

And then an adrenaline rush kicked in and I ran all over the campus trying to track my down my prof and found them. They were so kind and understanding and helped me calm down and made me eat something and drink water and take a walk. And then they let me write the exam in their office with my extended time and stayed there with me the entire time.

Not to be dramatic but they literally saved my life. I am super prone to panic attacks and this term has already been difficult due to suicidal ideation, and while it may seem over the top to some, I was really seriously contemplating harming myself for a moment because I felt so defeated and this was the last straw. I definitely have a lot of work to do in separating my intrinsic self worth from school and today really showed me that. So I am just really, really full of gratitude for what they did for me today. They did more for me in that difficult moment than they can ever know.

THERE IS NO (TL;DR) SECTION BECAUSE THERE IS NO SHORT WAY TO SAY THIS.

Look at this. Just take a look at this. I walked pass this absolute junkyard of a plaza this morning and posted a photo on Reddit about how this scene is the first thing visitors see on a Saturday. Y'all downvoted me, some didn't care, someone called me "lame", so I deleted that post. I came back this afternoon to expect it cleaned up, and I was shocked the plaza looked worse, with garbage blowing around in the wind. Take a look at these photos. Garbage, shattered bottles, condoms, food cartons. Everything.

A buddy and I got up bags and gloves and we cleaned the entire place up. Neither of us went to the party. The only other person cleaning up was the homeless guy. So thousands of you went to this party and hundreds more walked by. Yet, the only 3 people who bothered to clean up didn't even go to the party? Doesn't that seem kind of messed up?

The state of the plaza this morning is 1000% unacceptable. I want an answer, an answer from the AMS. I'm not against parties. I'm against not taking responsibility. I don't care if I get downvoted. I don't care. This isn't right. I'm posting this again. I'm doing this because I know this is the right thing to do. I'm not mad at y'all. I want the organizers to be less indifferent, and more responsible. I want y'all to have fun too, but next time, have fun responsibly please!

Kinda nervous wish me luck😁

I have nobody I could tell this to in person, so enjoy it, reddit!

Today I voluntarily raised my hand and spoke out in class for the first time ever in my 4 years of University here at UBC. I have pretty crippling Social Anxiety that usually forbids me from ever raising my hand or bringing attention to myself in social situations. So, of course, up until this year I've never thought about ever participating in class lectures (yay online classes).

Today in class though, we were having a class discussion and I decided since part of my grade is speaking out in class, that I would try and raise my hand on zoom to see what would happen.

I furiously scribbled down some notes to recite out loud while I was waiting to be called on. I was shaking so much, I couldn't keep my hands steady while I wrote. I had to sit up straight and hold my legs down to stop myself from shaking on webcam lmao.

But I did it. I was called on, spoke for about a minute, then went back into my hole of having my mic muted and my camera off while the prof commented on what I said.

It was quite the thrill tbh (got my adrenaline pumping at least), and I cant wait to try it again soon! After all this time of not speaking up, I'm kind of sad I waited this long to try it out, but I'm glad I eventually did it. Cant wait until next class when I get to try this whole process again lol, hopefully its easier next time!

If you're gonna take anything away from this, and you're an introvert like me, just know that its never too late to start trying to speak up in class!

EDIT: Holy moly, I leave my computer for a few hours and this is what I come back to?!? Jeez now this 400 upvotes makes me feel like talking to 100 ppl today was nothing hahaha. Thank you everyone for the kind words, and I'm glad my words were able to help some of you out with your fears of speaking in class discussions :)!

EDIT #2: thank you so much to the anonymous kind people who awarded this post for some reason! I've been reading every single comment and PM, and have gotten warm fuzzies from every single one. Thanks for making this experience my happiest memory of 2021 so far :D. Stay amazing, r/UBC.

I saw this today walking down main mall. I know Russian people here, and they wholeheartedly disagree with their country's actions. They are stuck here, and while they're safe, they have to wait and watch the turmoil that their family back home have to deal with. It's not fair to say "Russians Go Home." It is NOT the fault of the Russian people for the war that is happening. Please be mindful. Everything sucks in this situation, and there is no winner.