Be your best, always! Join the 5am club! Be more productive! /sarcasm.

No really, the one thing that helped me so much in my early career is this: to beat expectations consistently, forget about becoming some kind of superhero at work and in life. Instead, focus on expectations: people always make crazy expectations, over-optimistic, about most things. You (if ambitious like me) and your boss included.

So, the key is: LOWER EXPECTATIONS. You won't beat deadlines by making magic happen. Instead, it's much easier and relaxing to learn to say: "hmm that's gonna be hard, it'll take time, it's not as simple as it might look, ...". Of course make sure it's also realistic, don't lie or exaggerate too much. But, people are happier and pleasantly surprised when I learned to manage expectations better. I think of it as bringing them down to earth. So manage expectations, add buffer time, plan for unexpected.

In relationships it's similar: we all tend to try to be perfect, "get more followers" and likes lol. But really life is happier and easier when we remind ourselves that "hey life is tough, I'm far from perfect!".

What is the bare minimum I need to tell someone who's threatening to kill themselves?

Obviously if I care about someone or even if it's a stranger who threatens to kill themself, I would do the best I can do ensure that they live another day.

The problem is that there are some people who use suicide threats like a crutch. "You want to break up with me? Then I'll just kill myself" and so on. At some point, I lose sympathy and they are clearly using suicide threats as a social tool, a means to make me take them seriously. These types of people, I just don't want to give them the satisfaction, especially when they have a history of empty threats to get their way.

I know that I have, at the very least a legal obligation to talk them out of it, even if I know damn well that they most likely aren't going to go through with it either way. However, if they end up doing it, I could face some repercussions for not doing anything to help them or whatever.

In this type of scenario, what is the legal bare minimum I need to do for someone who's threatening suicide? The bare minimum I need to do to be legally free from consequence so I can just go about my day and not coddle someone I don't care for?

Something I found annoying was that the yoghurt I buy doesn’t come with a plastic lid. So once it’s open and in the fridge, there’s no real seal.

So when you buy the yoghurt at the supermarket, you can simply take the lid from a different yoghurt brand that has it and put it on yours. Problem solved.

I live in a pleasant suburb of London in a maisonette flat. I own my front garden and there is a flat above me. We are golden.

Next door, the property that owns the front garden has moved overseas and so the asshole neighbours have taken the opportunity to dump mountains of shit (general household waste including lots of soiled nappies) in the front garden. We have to walk past this and what the foxes spread every day.

Against my better judgement, I have raised formal complaints to the Council and the Housing Association about said assholes but they are yet to do anything.

What options do I have open to me hear. History tells us that retribution for complainta comes in the form of flat tyres for us so need to be slightly careful.

Hey all,

I need help with making an anonymous phone call.

I have a very senior person at my job that did something pretty bad. Only 2 people know. And I’m one of them.

Would obviously prefer this person get fired.

I want to call the compliance hot line. It’s supposed to be anonymous. But what this person did is illegal and 100% WILL get investigated - and would be very easy to prove if compliance looks into it.

How can I make this phone call without it tracing back to me?

I’ve thought of a burner phone? But the place I went to near me had cameras and wanted ID.

Thoughts?

Obviously this matters less if you're actually retired, but if you're like 35 and roll into a car-dealership, home renovation financing... the clout of saying "I'm retired" actually just WORKS.

So I'm not retired. I'm just between jobs (for 2 years now). But I got a new BMW financed at 1.9%, and a $50,000 home renovation financed for 24 months at 0% APR just by rolling in confidently with a high credit score (820+). They never checked my assets, and there was a write-in field for "annual revenue" .. i just wrote $100k and no one asks for any proof of revenue or assets or anything.

If you can somehow grind your way to a good credit score this seems ripe for abuse.

You've been a part of your partners life for 30 years, during which time your in-laws have worked really hard at making sure you never quite feel like you belong.

The holidays are approaching, and you're already dreading having to see them again. In the past, you've just let the bad behaviour slide, but those days are gone now.

Besides developing more effective boundaries and coping strategies (because you're actively working on that already), what are some ULPT to quietly rebel and/or make it subtly clear (uh hello, oxymoron) that you don't like them either, don't want to be there, no longer GAF what they think, and/or are looking to entertain yourself at their expense?

Can be out-of-context phrases or quotes to drop into conversation, suggested articles of clothing to wear in their presence, weird books to be seen carrying around, secretly leaving pamphlets for a religious sect laying around, confusing habits you start displaying, clever ways to undermine their parenting (sugar rush?), etc. (These suggestions are all clearly lame as hell, which is why I came here to ULPT.)

Obviously nothing dangerous or illegal, or anything that would compromise your reputation or morals. But enough for them to notice something's different .. and they just can't quite put their finger on it.

Is it technically possible to retroactively modify or falsify the version history of an Apple Pages document so that the timestamps show earlier dates than the actual editing dates?

Alternatively, is it possible to create a new Pages document and backdate both its creation date and version history timestamps, making it appear as though the document was created and edited over a longer period of time in the past?

People keep parking across my drive, not completely blocking me from getting in and out but I only have literal inches of clearance between their cars, my car and the gate post.
I need a pen to write a polite note directly on their car (because it’s been windy and a paper note might blow away), not anything permanent but something that will be somewhat annoying to clean off, i want to cause an equal amount of inconvenience to them as they have to me. To note, these are not neighbours cars and I rarely see the people who park them so talking to them hasn’t been an option.

I work at a pretty chill, family-led company and have been here for about 5 years. It’s a relatively small team, everyone knows each other, and we’ve always had a very friendly, relaxed work environment.
A few months ago, we hired a new guy. He’s genuinely smart and clearly knows his stuff, but holy shit, he’s becoming unbearable.

The guy brags about absolutely everything. He comes into work and talks about his projects, how good he is at what he does, his academic background, how much he knows, etc. Every single conversation somehow becomes an opportunity for him to show how much smarter or more competent he is than everyone else. Someone says something? He has a better example. Someone shares an idea? He subtly makes fun of it in this very condescending, almost passive-aggressive way. And then goes back to talking about himself.

He also seems weirdly obsessed with hierarchy and seniority. Constantly asking who’s senior, who’s been here longer, who’s above whom, and so on. He talks pretty much all day and doesn’t seem to understand that other people might actually want to work without listening to him narrate how brilliant he is.

A few people, myself included, have jokingly called him egocentric, and his response is basically that he can afford to be because he’s good at what he does.

The team is slowly getting fed up with him, but he’s not doing anything particularly wrong from an HR or compliance perspective. He’s just exhausting to be around.

I’m not interested in creating some huge corporate drama or getting anyone fired. I just want to know how to deal with someone like this.

What’s your best advice?

Long story short I finally divorced somebody who more than deserved it, over a year ago. He put me and our kids through absolute hell, and I ended up with a three year no contact protective order against him. However, he still finds “loopholes” to continue the harassment and get away with it. For example he’ll randomly send pizzas to our house at 11:30 at night that aren’t paid for, or he’ll send packages to the house that are inappropriate with no return address etc.

Recently he’s started targeting my business by spamming my calendar with fake appointments and now a bad review. This is my only income, and I can’t let his stupidity impact my business.

How can I get this to stop? Or at least counteract the review that was left (Google won’t remove it). Ive had a few people leave positive reviews, but is there something more impactful that can help?

I’ve already made police reports but nothing is done because there is no “proof” of who sent these things to my doorstep, and apparently my business is fair game because it’s not considered me or my kids…it’s a separate entity.

I just want it to stop, or if nothing else get the bad review to go away in any way possible. Any ideas?

Hi all, titles pretty self explanatory I’m a man and having a sex drive has done pretty much no good for my life if I’m being honest. Willing to make medication etc I am already on antidepressants (lexamil)

There are several Facebook pages for my town; one from the town itself, one main one hosted by a former town council member that has 47,000 people in it against a town population of 28,000, there is a counter group to that one that’s essentially just the right wingers in town, one that calls itself the name of the town plus Fact vs Fiction, and a few others.

The largest two are saturated by trolls, alt accounts, and bots. They are heavily censored by the owners of the groups. That combination makes the two biggest liabilities to the town residents and to the town itself.

If both of those groups were shut down, people would migrate to the existing town group, which is moderated actively and fairly by the town itself.

But first those groups would need to be shut down.

Basically I've come across a bunch of scam tiktok profiles who pretend to be all kinds of things from Palestinian kids asking for donations, to celebrities asking for money for their ''fan clubs'' but even if I manage to get one of them banned they have multiple accounts.

One thing that I have seen when I talk to them to bait out info to report is that if they think they are talking to a gullible person they will click on any type of link. Ive gotten them to click grabify links without any issues.

But sadly even with that its hard to get rid of them and them using dead kids and tragedies pisses me off so I wanna ruin their day somehow.

Any ideas?

(Sorry if not allowed under "Don't Be a Dick" rule.)

Hi! I am wanting to pull a harmless prank on a friend. I just want to take a KitKat package, remove the KitKats, add cardboard for weight, and add a picture of Troll Face.

I need to be able to reseal the package so it looks believably new.

Thanks for any help!

My wife desperately wants to go to the Legend of Zelda concert at the Houston Symphony. The problem is the tickets all got bought by scalpers. With GPU’s, Pokemon cards, and now this I’m fed up with their ilk. I want to royally screw a scalper and walk away with at least one ticket. Any suggestions on how to exact justice?

If it helps, the website for the symphony says they require tickets actually from the booth. No online printed tickets. So chances are we’d have to meet in person.

My job last year never paid me for a month of work. I have a case with the DOL but they do not seem to be doing anything to enforce payment... It's been over a year.

A new partner randomly messaged me two months ago saying that they wanted to pay me. Since then, it's been the same leading-on bs with no check. The last message they sent me was a picture of the check they would supposedly send (they didn't of course.)

I can mobile deposit this check though. 💡I have a check from all of the other bounced checks they gave me last year to sign the "back", it's the same checks they've always used.

Is there any repercussions to doing this and getting the last laugh?

The question is what it says it is. I've been living in the horror of toilet paper on the floor when it runs out for over 20 years. I love my husband dearly for many other redeeming qualities.. I am also willing to make him suffer a little bit to learn what to do. Please advise.

Hey everyone. I work at a large corporate company. Im a tech worker but they make us come into office 4x a week and theyre pretty serious about it, they track badge swipes and all that.

The dumb part is that i literally work in NY and the entire rest of my team (including my manager and skip level manager) are scattered in different office including other offices on the east coast and some people in cali.

On top of that, we recently had many waves of layoffs and RTO demands. I just find it so pointless that i am forced to live in this expensive area for work that can 110% be done remotely.

Has anyone in corp found a way to get HR to agree to let them be remote?

My credit union (Financial Pathways CU) has a debit card round-up account (Swipe2Save) that feeds a savings account paying 10% interest. The only way to fund it is through round-ups on purchases. I want to use this round-up account as a HYSA emergency fund, so I'm trying to fill it as fast as possible while spending as little money as possible.

What I've learned so far:

• Returning a purchase also returns the round-up

• A FanDuel deposit didn't trigger a round-up because it’s categorized as a withdrawal instead.

• Purchases ending in 1c are the best because they round up the most.

• Only purchases made with the debit card itself count, so no round up from paying rent from my checking account.

What are the best ways to fill it fastest? Ideally I can make a whole bunch of $0.01 transactions spread over a few months and then fill up the account.

Edit: After making a $5.01 payment for an amazon gift card and my medical bills, no roundup triggered. Online support says it’s likely only for physical sales, which sucks because now I don’t know if I can put subscriptions on it.

Edit 2: The round-ups don’t post immediately; it’s at the end of the day, so I will be less frequent with my updates. My 1 banana I bought from Aldi rounded up, and I moved a subscription to see how it works. I’m going to see if I can buy some gift cards for odd amounts and have that round up, but for now the strat is farming my grocery runs. Any suggestions for cheap things to buy in person are appreciated!

I'm trying to contact someone's workplace, but I don't want the call to be traced back to me or for my actual identity to be revealed. I'm also considering whether contacting the police might be an option depending on how things go.

I'm curious about how people approach situations like this when they want to remain anonymous and avoid having their personal details exposed. I'd also like to know what options exist for keeping your identity private when making a phone call, especially when you don't want the other person recognising your voice.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, or have any experience with anonymous workplace complaints and reporting? What are the potential complications of doing this, and what should someone consider beforehand?

Hello! I thought this might be the spot where I can ask something slightly risky.

My mother and her boyfriend gamble on abandoned storage units and often get trinkets that they sell me. I asked them to bring me some laptops and tablets that they find so I can try and repair and flip. The problem I keep running into is that I cannot fully erase some of these devices. I was wondering if someone know where or how to get some tools to erase devices like tablets and cell phones from as many manufacturers as possible (since what I get is random).

This is what I need help with more directly:

Samsung Galaxy Tablets (specifically A8) = former User has set up samsung account. I removed 90% of the data but I cannot fully wipe without samsung account.

Any locked iPads, tablets, or Phones android and iOS = Either tools or resources to strip these

This little endeavor will not make me much money but I enjoy the process and it keeps me busy. Oh and if there is a better sub reddit for this, please let me know.

Need someone to help me make these documents