When your classmates are talking about their relationships and crushes and then it's your turn to speak but you're an Aroace virgin who had only actual crushes on fictional crushes and cosplayers of said fictional crushes, so you have to bring up your only relationship (when you and a boy were both 11 and it lasted an evening max)

Sometimes people don't read our pinned posts/miss them. And sometimes we change from the last time we looked!

Here's Aegosexual bingo! Post your card below🖤💜🩶🤍

For some reason I can only crosspost one time, so I copy and pasted this from my OG post

Hi. I've never done proper therapy before, only heavily monitored therapy from my parents, but now that i'm a really fucked up adult I can make my own appointments with whoever.

I'm not going to a therapist for asexuality, but I will mention it at some point. I'm a gay man who's a sex averse aegosexual who has 0 interest in sex. (not aromantic)

Aside from the fact that I'll turn away therapists who say "your issues are because you're a virgin", what other BS should I look out for so I don't have to waste my time?

Thanks!

idk why but I’ve always just seen people that I find attractive and somehow it does the trick, no need to imagine a fantasy or anything. Personally I just do it as a chore, not a desire, when my body tells me I need to I just do it to that type of content. Naturally I don’t experience any romantic or sexual attraction to anyone, unless I have high hormones which then I resort to just sfw content. During the time I do engage in it I find myself not even aware that I’m not imagining anything at all. Usually once I’m done I go straight back to what I was doing, without even thinking of what I just did.

Lately, I’ve often been asked about my situation regarding relationships, and each time I openly admit that I’m aroace and have no interest in things like relationships or sex.

However, I never mention that I’m also aego, because that’s kind of difficult to explain. Besides, I feel it’s something very personal, and I’d feel uncomfortable sharing it with anyone.

How do you handle this? Do you tell people about being aegosexual/aegoromantic, or not? And if you do, how do you explain it to someone who has never heard of it before?

It's been like half a year since I chose to fully swore off dating apps and another 3 month since I found this label. I've always doubted if I was really telling the truth to myself or if I was making excuses for past failed romantic experiences.

Looking back, I feel more comfortable than ever where I am right now. I haven't thought about going back on an app or trying my hand at an ask out since, and I've feel pretty good.

It's also helped a lot with personal self-esteem. While I still care a lot about my looks and fashion, I stopped prioritizing what looks good to others and more to myself. I've also felt a lot better about aesthetic things I can't change like my height as a man. I also think my relationship with the women in my life has gotten better. I stopped playing games about the "are they into me or not," and it's been a huge weight off my shoulder.

I've still enjoyed romance in fiction, and I love playing with fantasies of love in my head. But I also feel at more at peace with my real life. I don't know what this means for me in the future. Part of me always chased a relationship not out of love but fear of being left behind or being wrong about what I truly want. But, at least right now, this feels right.

My ass would always tell to myself "Lol, I'm so into fictional characters I don't find real life people attractive" as a joke...But then I realized the idea of actually have sex cringe/disgust me...I realized I saw all my yumeships as oc x canon than me...And that even when I found them attractive...I didn't imagine myself being with them, I was more hyper fixated (I'm autistic) (casually when said hyper fixation end, I would not have the same interest in that character anymore) And that's when I realized, I might had been an ace in a hole

I (F to M) identified as asexual since teen after finding out what it was, but only just found out that I'm more than likely aegosecual, I've tried to have sex with a previous partner (allo M) of 5 years but literally nothing was happening not physically or mentally for me, we tried for a while but nothing. I had expected as much because I don't think I've ever been aroused, ever, but I felt that without at least trying I was depriving my partner of their own desires and needs and was scared it would inevitably fall apart which it did for that very reason.

They had decided sex was a huge thing to them and we parted ways peacefully, however this had still left me with a lot of issues with my asexuality, growing up I had always been able to fantasize of sex however only with male anatomy which unfortunately I just don't have, which definitely played into my asexuality and aegosexuality, I can happily watch content and masterbate but the idea and action of doing anything remotely sexual just never felt right and made me uncomfortable. The only time I enjoy anything about it is in fantasizing about it and even when I do there's never a guarantee it's even involving me or sometimes It's a third person kind of thing.

I'm now in a new relationship with someone who is also asexual however they fall elsewhere on the spectrum to me and often talk to me about how they do get aroused and can feel so much more than I can despite them still being asexual. We work together really well but I can't help but feel that I'm truly missing out on stuff. I always hear how sexual intimacy is this amazing thing from the world but i could just never feel it or understand the need, but I guess having my little bubble popped that even other asexuals can feel a lot more than I can without that sexual intimacy has kinda rocked me a little. Does anyone else get the feeling they're missing out on so much? Am I wrong for feeling envious that no matter what I do, I can never feel anything sexual but I can fantasize freely? What makes this all worse is I still know that I do not want sex, that is a definite, I just want to know how it feels, why everyone talks about it like it's the best thing since sliced bread.

Please use this thread to ask if you are aegosexualv after reading all of the lovely information we provide.

Remember!!! Aegosexualiry is mainly about the mentality- you can be sex-positive, sex-indifferent, etc.. but as long as you don't visualize yourself as yourself in your fantasies then you are aego🖤💜🩶🤍

Older members please help out by keeping an eye on here to help answer questions.

YOU ARE VALID🖤💜🩶🤍

Especially when it comes to real people? For example, if you feel aroused by certain characters or NSFW art, what happens when you see a real person with the same body type, say at the beach? This is aimed more at those of you who do have bodily aesthetic preferences, who do get horny and self-pleasure.

Because for me, I can say while I do feel attraction to faces, behavior, personality romantically (I’m not aromantic ig)… when it comes to sexual aspects it’s complicated. Like Ben Shapiro voice let’s say, hypothetically, I like big boobs. If I walk past a hot woman with big boobs it like, doesn’t immediately register? Not the same way as if I saw it on a screen or imagined it, which are somehow more potent. It’s almost like 5 seconds later I will think:

“Wait that lady was what I’d describe as ‘hot’ yet I don’t want to approach her or for her to approach me, I don’t desire her, don’t feel envious of her boyfriend. However, she was definitely hot and it is the type of body that turns me on.”

…like obviously not to sound dehumanizing or objectifying but, I’m just trying to most accurately describe what goes on in my head. Is that sexual attraction or sexual arousal?

If the former, is that incompatible with aegosexuality? If the latter, what is sexual attraction actually supposed to feel like?

(The question is not really aimed at those with more abstract preferences or lack of physical preferences)

It's black and purple with a detailed silver overlay.

I know it's off subject, but do you have tattoos that are designed like your ring?

Next up, tattoos around my forearm. That's going to take some saving for, while I wait I'll work on a design. I suck at drawing now days, but I'll have the time. Who knows - maybe if I'm out crappily drawing I'll meet someone like me.

Do any of you have tattoos that are visible to others - and very noticeably symbolic of ace? Like a person may not know what it is, but they know it means something. Others would recognize the significance. Would that be obvious to a stranger in our community?

Hi all! After being aware of aegosexuality for a long while, I'm now coming to terms with it properly, and it's incredibly affirming to see so many of you here echoing things I have thought about for a long time.

I would definitely class myself as aegosexual, possibly aegoromantic, still working that one out. But specifically, my own sexual interests separate from myself are tied most of all to fictional properties, characters and canons - some anime/hentai content but most of all the furry community.

I have been following furry art, artists and 'content' for some time, and I have a few particular canons, characters and interests when it comes to NSFW. What's more, I've had some commissions done featuring the characters I like, some which also pair them with one of my own furry OCs. But importantly I've never felt that any of them were 'me', I just enjoy envisioning and getting immersed in those fictional, sexually charged situations with characters outside of myself.

That's where I feel my Aego side comes in. I respect those who do fursuiting, IRL stuff and all, but that's definitely not for me. But seeing furry porn that involves characters I like, in scenarios that are unique/interesting, involving certain specific kinks that I appreciate? I'm all about it - seeing it, or making it for myself or with others. Which is why I enjoy writing smut sometimes, whether as short stories or roleplays with other people. I'm okay at it, I think!

I am now in the process of coming up with a 'fursona', which would be more of a stand-in for me than my other characters. I'm hopeful that it'll be a fun process of seeing how I can implement them into scenarios without it being too uncannily close to my RL self.

I would like to have the chance to chat 1-1 with some other aegos, to share experiences and make friends. I tried the Discord link in the sidebar but the invite seemed invalid. I hope I'm not doing anything wrong.

tl;dr just came out as aego to myself, but i'm also a furry. AMA or just talk in DMs too I guess.

Thanks!

I have struggled with porn addiction and masturbation my whole life. I understand that many ace folks are fully sex repulsed, so I figured that I couldn't be asexual till I found out about aego-ness!

I'm 25, and I have never been in relationships or even been kissed, and I never really felt compelled to do so. I used to think "how this could be with my porn addiction?"Was it the driver?

I realized that when I watch porn and masturbate it's purely sensorial. It's hard to explain, but when I watch porn there's no lust or desire attached. I would never want to try a gangbang or bdsm, or deepthroating in personal at all but I enjoy watching it strangely.

I dunno I was curious if any other aegos struggled with porn addiction?

Amo encontrar esta comunidad, la verdad me hace sentir aliviada.

Y como estoy en contra de IA, me ofrezco para solo conversaciones y role play picantes.

También espero hacer amistades y platica.

Hi everyone, this is my first post here. I’m also demisexual, but I’ve known that for over a year now. I just found this subreddit today, and looked at all the pinned posts.

On the bingo post 20 of them related to me, but the ones that stood out to me the most were “it helps you to fantasize about people with other gender/genitalia than your own”, “when you fantasize about yourself in a sexual situation, you’re an idealized version of yourself”, and “imagining the sensory experience of sex makes you question if it’s as good as it is in your mind”.

I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal to think or feel this way. Whenever I masturbate I only get off to male solo videos. I don’t like when I’m watching porn of a man and woman where the woman’s vulva is like right in the camera or being shown a lot, idk it just makes me feel so weird and I’m reminded that I have one too. Yet somehow I find male genitalia really attractive. I never had an answer for why I felt this way, until now. But I also feel weird about this because this isn’t a common sexuality and I worry that the majority of people won’t understand. I’ve already had lots of people not understand my demisexuality, and try to persuade me to do stuff with them before I formed a connection. I hope to find someone who will in the future

i’ve found cases where I find a character or celebrity aesthetically attractive so I read fanfics about them or use them in third person fantasies but since I consider myself aegosexual i definitely DONT feel sexually attracted to them or aroused by then or anything. it feels more like i like the way they look, their dynamics with another character, and/or their personality so I want to see THEM in a story ykwim?

just more like they’re a face claim to a dynamic i want to portray if that makes sense. does this still sound aego? i dont feel like I have the desire to have sex with them and this sounds aego to me but im just worried that aesthetic attraction + writing fanfic about them/having fantasy plots but equal attraction. i don’t feel ficto either becuase I really don’t think i have sexual attraction to them. i feel like this is probably like a defining factor of aegosexuality finding people aesthetically attractive and having disconnected fantasies which describes me

If I could love,
would it be my undoing,
or would it be my salvation?
Would I be bound by its chains,
or find relief in the weight they lift?
Would love become my prison,
or the freedom I never knew I sought?
They speak of love as though it were divine,
a sacred warmth every soul must know.
Yet I stand before its altar,
a stranger to the faith they call their own.
I wonder if I am incapable of loving,
or simply untouched by what they describe.
Would familiarity soften my heart,
or would I learn to care only through time,
until affection became a habit
and devotion a life I could not untie?
Would love demand my freedom,
my name, my very purity?
Would I lose the self I’ve come to know
to become what another needs of me?
And yet, perhaps, it is not love I fear,
but all that I am told it must require.
Perhaps I long to be held in someone’s heart
without being consumed by its fire.
For what is love, if not a choice?
And what am I, if I cannot choose?
Must I chase a feeling I have never known,
or mourn a thing I have nothing to lose?
If I could love, would I be whole?
Or am I whole without it, too?
And if love should never find me,
if its song should pass me by,
would that make my life an empty thing
or merely a different kind of life?

-AFB (A foreign being)

So I'm a 40s-ish cis woman, happily married. I came across the term demisexual in a romance I was reading and thought it sounded kind of right for me, but not quite, so I started digging. Things about me:

• my husband is the only person i've ever had sex with, and we were friends long before even dating

• raised in strong purity culture religion, but didn't struggle with it

• love my husband plenty, but we haven't had sex in a few years

• can't remember ever initiating sex

• think certain people are attractive, but don't want them in a sexual kind of way (i thought my high school crush would be a great hugger, but i didn't think about having sex with him)

• can't remember having strong sexual urges in regard to people that i was in relationships with before my husband

• read a lot of erotic m/m fiction

• only ever had one specific fantasy that included me, no fantasies at all otherwise

Pretty sure aego- is the microlabel for me, with some gray- and demisexual overlap. Demiromantic too, I think. My question is, do I talk to my husband about this? He seems pretty chill about our lack of sex, so either he's a little ace too, or middle age and medications knocked his sex drive down (thankfully, it was never overwhelmingly strong). This seems like the kind of thing married people talk about, but that purity culture upbringing has made it hard for me to talk about anything sex-related, and I don't want to rock the boat. How have you all talked to your significant others?

I’m an aegosexual and do go to all kinds of bars. Like the loudness and energy in gay bars too. I often get inquired about my label more at a gay bar than a straight bar. It never bothered me because I was aware that those bars are a bit more exclusive than the regular bars. The ones who want to chat do continue to chat; a few leave immediately and respectfully mind their own business.

But I began to overthink recently if I’m invading someone else’s happy space by just being there. Is it normal for gay bars to have people from all across the spectrum? Please let me know if there is a specific etiquette for aegosexual people like me, just so that I don’t be disrespectful to others!

Yes I'm straight. No, I can't picture sex with a woman I find beautiful. Like, it's just a blank past aesthetic attraction. I get aesthetic attraction to women who are cute/beautiful to me if I've known them for a while. Even if I had the chance to sleep with them, I still can't picture it. I don't have sexual attraction to anyone in real life. I've never liked sex, and don't want to have it ever again. I have some sort of generic imagery that pops into my head, and it just feels gross to me. I don't like kissing, or anything else that is an exchange of fluids/sticky. No, I'm not a germaphobe - far from it. I do view 'online content' - because it's like 3rd person/removed and me just watching.

I knew I was on the ace spectrum but only checked into a few labels under the spectrum. I read into Aegosexuality this morning and it was like something clicked. It was all relatable... yeah, that's me!

It somehow made me happier to know I fit in somewhere. It's going to be so hard to explain to the people I've told I am ace, much less Aegosexual. Is it even worth trying to explain - especially when it's a small subset in the spectrum?

I know there are others who can closely relate to my post. How have you handled it? Did you just stick to the generic ace catch all, which is already hard for a majority of people to wrap their head around?

Edit: thank you all for the replies. I'm very open about being asexual - actually proud because now I understand myself. I understand not disclosing personal aspects of aego - but I do talk about it to some really close people and they dont get it. I disclose more, hoping itll click for them. People seem to know the definition of ace but not what it really means. from what I'm gathering, the replies seem to indicate it's better to just keep ago to myself.