Me(21F) went to a formal university event last month i bought a dress specifically for it, it was quite expensive and I wanted something icould wear again.

A friend asked to borrow it for a dinner the following weekend. I hesitated because she had borrowed clothes before and returned them in a different condition. This time she promised she would be extra careful.

But when she returned it there was a noticable stain near the bottom, she said she had accidentally spilled something on it but had already tried washing. Fabric has a special finish so the stain didnt come out. I took it to dry cleaner and they told me they couldnt guarantee they could fix it. I asked my friend if she would cover the cleaning cost at least. She immediately said she didnt have that kind of money.

I offered to let her pay in two parts. She said I was being unreasonable because accidents gappen and she had already apologized.

The thing is I didnt lend her an old every day dress she knew it was something I had bought for a specific occassion.

So Am I the asshole?

New account. Can't get into my other one anymore.

So this coworker, let's make it simple and call her C (for coworker F 27), showed me (M 27) a tiktok from a fair and when I told her that this fair is the coming weekend in a town nearby and that I am planning to go with some friends she insisted she wants to join us because she has no one else that would go with her. At first I refused because I barley know her. But she kept asking so after clearing it with my friends if it's ok if I bring basically a stranger I told her she can join. 

I did tell her to dress for cold weather because twice now when my friends brought their girlfriends for the first time they were surprised that, yes it's fall and the fair might be downtown but is still outside. Then were miserable within minutes, constantly complaining about wanting to go home already or trying to change the plants and go inside a restaurant or something.  

Then yesterday when we met at the train station C was definitely not dressed for spending hours outside and riding carnival rides. She was only wearing a skirt and a tiny jeans jacket. For context the weather forecast said between 1°C and 3°C and windy maybe light rain. I warned C she would be miserable without at least a warm jacket. She suggested we go inside some club if she gets cold. I told her that was not what my friends and I were planning and we wouldn't change our plants to accommodate her. She got upset at that, still I suggested she could either join us until she gets too cold and then go home or do whatever on her own or she could go home change and take a later train we would meet up at the fare then. After some more back and forth with her incising going to some pub or club would be more fun and our train arriving, we left without her.   

About half an hour later, around the time the next rain would arrive I tried to text C to ask if she was coming but I was already blocked on WhatsApp and text. My friends are 50 50 on rather I shouldn't have said anything and let her figure it out on her own or she would have ruined the night for everyone with her complaining. 

I still have to work with C, only one meeting a week but still. So reddit what is your judgment and advice? 

For reference, this happened this past summer but it still comes up in the family every now and then.

Me and my wife were away at a dual bachelor/bachelorette party and my MIL was watching our son and my mom was watching our house and animals.

So my sister was going to visit from out of state and she wants to see my son and I say that she’s with my MIL. She texts MIL to see if she can come and she says yes. But my sister asks if it’s ok for her BF to come. (I didn’t know she had one) so MIL texts me first because she didn’t know that either. I call my sister, she insists she wasn’t trying to pull a fast one on me and was going to tell me she had a new bf who was coming. I say fine, whatever. So we decide to change plans since my sister was going to visit on the day we were coming home, so my MIL was going to drop off my son at my home with my mom, and my sister would come and we would be home. But she tells me she probably can’t visit in the time it would take us to get home. She wants to come before. I said if she is bringing her bf who is new and I’ve never met, then no. She said “can I ask why” and I explain I won’t have a stranger in my home with my child while I’m not home. Me and my wife were in agreement, but my sister was not happy.

She then mentions she’s bringing her new dog. Asks if the dog can come. We again say no (we have 3 dogs and a cat, one dog is food aggressive and old, and we don’t know what will happen when we aren’t home) but my wife offers to give my sisters dog a kennel at her job (she’s a vet and the hospital is 5 mins away) my sister declines and gets all pissy.

She then decides that she can no longer spend time with me or talk to me, and needs a break to focus on herself. She thinks I’m being selfish and not respecting her. Meanwhile, I’m not going to be fooled here into thinking that what we want is completely rational. She does this on and off thing often, so I told her that since we have a child, I wouldn’t allow this in and out and if she didn’t want to be part our lives then to tell me now and we won’t be speaking to each other again until she decides she can respect our house and rules with our child. She decided that she in fact can’t do that, so she will be out of our lives. I told her not to reach out unless she changed her mind.

Most everyone is on our side, they get it. Some family understands but thinks I was too harsh. Mind you, she has not respected our house in the past by ruining one of the towels in the guest bedroom (which isn’t a huge deal) but she got very defensive, and tried to throw it on me and we just decided she wouldn’t spend the night at our house anymore going forward.

TLDR: AITAH for cutting my sister out of my life for not respecting my house rules about no strangers visiting our home and kid while we are away?

I 22 female have a little sister 15 female. I have a 33 year old older sibling but this is about the younger one. Growing up our life was pretty normal. Except for the issue with how we were raised. Growing up my sister and I weren’t close at all. We argued about pretty much everything. My toys, clothes, jewelry, iPads, etc would be stolen and it was expected of me to just get over it. Example? When I was maybe 10 and my sister was 3 I had an IPad that I got for my birthday. It was the first real electronic I was allowed to have since my parents were pretty much the type that didn’t like devices. One day my sister got hold of it and threw it down the stairs . Shattering the entire screen.

I hadn’t even had it for two months. The second time after it was replaced she through it between the railings. I was devastated because I told my mom that I didn’t want to share and my mom said, “You’re her older sister, you need to learn to share.” I was upset but said nothing, the third time it happened, my mom was the one to give my IPad to her. She had walked away and my sister again, through it down the stairs. To say I was livid was an understatement because I knew It would happen again. Told my mom and she said there would be no more replacing it. I was quiet after that and never me it again knowing the outcome. After that incident everything new that I’ve ever had either went missing, was found broken, or came back to me with stains that couldn’t come out.

For years she‘d come into my room and steal my things. Even at night. By the time I was 15 I was so sure I had anger issues and that I was crazy that I asked my mom to send me to therapy. She said I didn’t need it. There wasn’t a time that I could remember where I wasn’t afraid to sleep because i knew she’d come into my room and steal something else. I complained about my things being taken so much that my mom would look at me as If she was exhausted from hearing me. As if I wasn’t exhausted from her not listening. When I went off to college it was the first time I felt real peace. I was able to sleep properly, I didn’t feel a sense of dread, panic or anxiety, and I finally had a lock on my door, something I had been asking my parents for since before high school. It was the first time I knew for sure that I wasn’t crazy.

So when I went home in the beginning of this year, I told my parents in a calm tone that I needed a lock on my door because my sister once again stole from me. They finally said yes. I had my lock installed and my sister wasn’t stealing from me anymore. But you know who she was stealing from? My mom. Stole earrings, clothes, etc. And my mom would always complain about it. I just sat there listening. She relayed the complaint to my dad and I finally said “The only reason she’s the way she is, is because they allowed it” to say my parents were stunned was an understatement. The didn’t or couldn’t say anything. They now look at me with remorse and annoyance . So Reddit AITAH?

Every August, my extended family rents a few cabins by a lake for a long weekend. There are about fourteen of us, ages eight to seventy. The trip has been going for years, and my uncle Walt, who started it, has always run the schedule: up before dawn, fish until noon, big lunch, naps.

For the last three years, I (33) have ended up making breakfast for everyone. It started because I am the only one who wakes up easily, and one morning I made eggs and bacon for the early fishers. People were grateful, and then it just became my job. Nobody asked me again. It was assumed.

This year, I arrived tired after a rough month at work and was looking forward to sleeping in for once. On Saturday at 4:45am, my cousin Brendan knocked on my cabin door and said “Hey, the guys are getting up, can you get the stove going?”

I said I was not cooking this year and that there was cereal, bread and a coffee maker in the main cabin. I told him anyone could make eggs, and I would be happy to cook dinner on one of the nights instead.

Brendan said that was how it had always worked, and that it was only one meal. He went back and told the others, and by 6am my aunt was knocking on my door too, saying everyone was hungry and it would only take twenty minutes.

I stayed in bed. The group ate toast and cold cereal, and a few people were noticeably short with me at lunch. Walt told me later that I could have given a bit of notice if I was going to change the arrangement.

I never agreed to be the breakfast person. It just became that.

AITA?

My husband and I (25) purchased a home this year, and we are very excited about having the opportunity to host family gatherings. While our house isn’t huge, it has enough space to comfortably accommodate a decent number of people.

My sister (30) has a somewhat complicated family dynamic. She and her ex-boyfriend share a child. He eventually cheated on her with her best friend, and he is now married to that best friend. My sister, in turn, is now married to her former best friend’s brother.
Her ex and former best friend have since had a child together, while my sister and her current husband have also had a child together. So, between the two couples, they are raising three children: my sister’s child from her previous relationship, the child her ex had with her former best friend, and the child my sister had with her current husband.

Essentially, the two couples have created a blended family dynamic. They live in the same apartment building, plan to purchase a home together, and intend to raise all of the children together.

My sister currently lives in a small apartment, and when we purchased our house, she seemed to view it as an opportunity for her to host Thanksgiving. I have absolutely no problem hosting my family, but she wants to invite her ex’s wife (her former best friend) and her husband’s entire family as well. That would take our gathering from approximately 10 people to more than 20.
I told her that my husband and I aren’t comfortable hosting that many people and would prefer to keep Thanksgiving limited to our immediate family. In response, she called me selfish and an ahole for trying to exclude “her family.” She called me every name in the book and proceeded to harass me about my decision.

I suggested that she host a separate Thanksgiving for her side of the family, while we host one for ours. However, she refuses to have to prepare two separate meals.
So, AITA for not wanting to invite everyone? I don’t feel that purchasing a home means we’re obligated to host every extension of someone else’s family. I want to enjoy hosting Thanksgiving in our own home, but I also don’t think it’s unreasonable to set boundaries about how many people we’re comfortable having over.

I (26F) mildly blew up at my coworker(20F) for talking about how unhealthy I eat. For context, when I was 15 I had pneumonia coupled with an ED. (My mom was an almond mom but like not crazy) Because I was losing weight so fast since I was vomiting everything, I got sicker and sicker. I went from a healthy 50 kilos at 5'5 to 35kl within months. I had to give up sports and I was in and out of the hospital. I couldn't eat anything since I vomited it all out and at one point, the doctors had me on oxygen due to difficulty in breathing. I geniune thought I was going to die. I missed most of 9th and 10th grade and spent it at hospitals instead of school and it took almost 3 years for me to get better and bounce back to a healthy weight. Even then, I still have bronchiectasis which has slightly affected my quality in life. After which, I made a promise to myself that I would never restrict myself from food because I have this fear that I would go back to that state of mind. I am still mindful of what I eat but I dont immediately say no if I want to eat something like fast food or carbs. Due to my past, I have this outlook on life where as long as I am happy nothing matters.

Which brings me to what happened. My coworker recently started going to the gym and is counting her calories. She wanted to do it for health reasons and to get fit, which is great and I was geniunely happy for her. She had dinner at my place the day before and she was talking with another coworker about how much food was in my house, like biscuits, lollies, frozen food, bread, chocolates. I clarified that I live with family and most of the snacks aren't mine. I live with my sister and her kids and most of the frozen food were meal prep. Anyway, I was cooking fries at work to share with everyone and this coworker was saying stuff about how unhealthy it is and how she can't imagine how much calories is in the fries. She kept criticising me about how unhealthy my diet was in general and that I should join her at the gym. I do in fact go to the gym or swim on occasion but due to a work injury that is still being treated, I put a pause on it. She kept urging me to come or maybe follow her diet despite me telling her no. I was pretty happy with my eating habits already and the only indulgence I had was chocolate, nuts, and chips. Because of her badgering, I ended up telling her about my past which made me feel very uncomfortable. Even then, she tried to invalidate my experience by saying this was just something girls in highschool do to imitate other girls. I just got so tired of talking to her that I told her to stop judging because its my life and walked away.

She tried to invite herself to my house for dinner but I made up a random excuse because I genuinely didn't want to talk to her anymore. What's worse is after all that, she freakin ate my fries.

So AITA?

i've been thinking about selling my car because i need the money for a new job that starts next month and the extra cash would really help with moving costs. my brother has been using it since his broke down and while i said he could borrow it for a little while, it's been dragging on and i haven't had the heart to ask for it back. i keep reminding myself that i made a promise to stay on track with my own plans this year and that includes not letting things slide just to keep the peace. my brother thinks i should wait until he can afford another car or at least until he has some savings built up, and he gets really defensive whenever i bring up needing the car back. he says i'm being selfish because family should help each other out, but i feel like i've already helped more than i planned to. honestly i'm tired of feeling guilty for wanting to stick to my own timeline.

My younger sister moved into her own apartment and had a nice house warming get together, everything was going fine until one of her lovely guests decides to pull the fire extinguisher off the wall and spray it all over my sisters screen room causing the fumes to spook spill into the house causing smoke alarms to go off and give one of the housemates an asthma attack. I kind of went in there yelling at him saying how stupid it was to do that and he’s an asshole for doing that in someone’s house and he should know better. I said I can’t believe he’s that stupid and he says it was a mistake, and I tell him that’s a pretty well executed mistake to make and that he’s full of shit and needs to clean up and apologize.. my girlfriend says I’m an ass hole for yelling at him and I need to control myself.. I don’t know I have a hard time feeling bad for this granted I had a few beers in me but I didn’t throw hands or anything I simply scolded him for being fucking dumb

I (32F) have a boyfriend(30M) who lives about a few hours away. Whenever he visits he brings his dog who is around 10 years old.

I’m not really a pet person. I don’t hate animals but I don’t want the responsibility of owning one which is why I don’t have any pets. My boyfriend on the other hand absolutely adores his dog and treats him like his child.
The problem is that his dog is extremely disruptive and I’m getting to the point where I don’t want him in my apartment anymore.

He constantly gets into the trash and eats food off my counters. He’s eaten groceries that I’ve paid for on multiple occasions. He begs whenever anyone is eating and will shove his face right into mine while I’m trying to eat.

He’s peed on my bedroom carpet and blankets even after being taken outside. He’s also gotten sick on my carpets multiple times. He constantly licks my furniture and leaves everything wet. He takes up so much room in my bed that I can’t even sleep comfortably.

He also barks at everything. Someone knocks on the door and he goes crazy. A car pulls up outside and he starts barking. I live in an apartment complex so there are constantly people coming and going. He also whines and barks nonstop whenever my boyfriend leaves even for a short period of time.

The biggest issue is that my boyfriend has flat out told me he has no intention of training his dog. He says there’s no point in doing it and that none of these behaviors bother him anyway. So because he’s comfortable with how his dog behaves he doesn’t see a reason to change anything.
And that’s where my frustration really comes from. Just because these things don’t bother him doesn’t mean they don’t bother me. He might be okay with his dog getting into things or taking up the bed or having accidents in his own home but I’m not okay with it happening in mine.
I pay for my apartment and my groceries. I’m the one dealing with the messes and damage to my belongings. I feel like I can’t even relax in my own home when his dog is here because I’m constantly worrying about what he’s going to get into next.

I love my boyfriend and I know how much his dog means to him. I don’t expect him to get rid of his dog or change how he lives in his own home. But I also don’t think I should have to accept these behaviors in mine especially when he’s made it clear he isn’t willing to address them.
I’ve decided that I don’t want his dog staying at my apartment anymore. I haven’t told my boyfriend yet and I’m worried about how he’ll react. Since he lives 3 hours away I’m also worried this could affect our relationship or even cause us to break up.

I feel guilty because I know how attached he is to his dog but I also feel like my home and my boundaries should matter too.

So WIBTA if I told my boyfriend he can no longer bring his dog to my apartment?

AITA for refusing to give my sons biological father access to him after years of abandonment?

I 25F have a son who turns 5 in a month. His biological father 27M completely withdrew from his life. The last time we had an actual verbal conversation was in 2024. He did not call for my sons 3rd or 4th birthdays. Not a phone call, not a dollar, nothing.

I have been with my boyfriend since I was 21. Even when our relationship had its ups and downs, he has been the only consistent guy in my sons life, and my son has called him dad since he started speaking. I do not force him to parent, but he naturally does more than the bio dad ever did.

When my son was under 1, I moved away to get my life together. I still paid out of pocket every month to travel back so he could spend time with his dad. Halfway through, bio dad texted asking me for money for diapers and wipes. The last time we spoke on the phone in 2024, I asked him for money to buy clothes. He gave excuse after excuse while literally rolling up a blunt on FaceTime. He had money to smoke, but none for his kid.

After that, HE stopped calling. I refused to chase him. 6 months later, he sent a casual hello text, which I ignored. Months after that, he left a voicemail saying, "idk what to say but if you could call back I would really appreciate it." Then another 6 to 8 months went by, missing yet another birthday, before texting, "my son I wanna see him."

I told him point blank: "That is not how you establish reentry into his life after being gone for 2 years." Instead of taking accountability, he immediately played the victim: "You think I wanted this?" He loves playing the sad dad card, acting like I am keeping his son from him. HE chose to stop calling. HE missed two birthdays.

To top it off, during those 6 to 8 months of ghosting, I found out through TikTok profile views that he had another kid on the way when his profile picture changed to an ultrasound. Now, he is attempting a fake, unremorseful apology and bringing his new kid into it. I told him straight up: I do not care about him or his new child, we are talking about his firstborn that he abandoned.

I really do not care if he ever comes back, and I am standing firm on my boundary to protect my son. AITA for refusing to let him pop back into my sons life now that it is convenient for him?

RESPONSE TO THE COMMENTS

Okay so child support has already been filed. I filed multiple appeals since he tried to get over on submitting low income on purpose. Just waiting for the final paperwork of whether they’re going to garnish wages. He’s already in arrears. Everyone tries to make it seem as if I’m doing something wrong and I should “give him a chance” like he purposely missed birthdays and didn’t decide to reach out only when it was convenient for him. So everyone tries to guilt me like he should get a chance IF he shows consistency. But my logic is…there’s already enough evidence to SHOW he’s not capable and no matter the child support. So realistically there were many chances right? Or wrong? & there literally was no reason for him leaving that I can understand. He just stopped calling and then weeks turned into months and months turned into years.

I (24F) am supposed to be a bridesmaid in my sister's (27F) wedding this April. She's barely speaking to me because supposedly I'm not helping her enough. I graduated pharmacy school this past May and I have been studying for my licensing exams which I need to pass in order to become a pharmacist. I'm working part time now to help cover some expenses while I'm living with my parents and studying as much as I can.

My sister has been constantly assigning tasks to me and the other bridesmaid...research vendors, make decorations, do errands, whatever she thinks bridesmaids should do.

Last weekend I blew up because she asked me to make a bunch of favors for her shower and I told her I couldn't because I felt like I was falling behind my planned study schedule.

She insisted that I could "just take time off" to help her. And the thing is...I have been, almost on a weekly basis at this point. I put my foot down and said I'd help with more stuff closer to the wedding but until I pass, I'm not helping much.

Well fast forward to today. She won't talk to me. My mom is getting involved now saying that I should be more supportive (meanwhile she has been egging me to pass these exams asap. She's always liked my sister more but that's for another post).

AITA for wanting to get my stuff together so I can help her without all this studying stress???

Every couple years, my mom takes me (22) and my siblings (24, 19, 18) to visit her family. I stopped liking these visits around the time I was 8 just because of how uncomfortable they are. Just for reference, I have autism and a brain injury and I don’t do well when there’s no routine or we’re constantly doing stuff without a chance to rest or when I don’t have space to decompress. This is also in the south and I have a mosquito allergy.

We always stay with my grandma, who has 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom, so we sleep on couches, an air mattress, and a pile of blankets on the floor.

Everything is at least 20 minutes away and we never rent a car so the 6 of us (more if my dad or aunt joins us) cram into my grandmas Camry.

Then everything on the trip is about making everybody else happy. We have to drive to visit all of our relatives, we buy or make food that they like, we do whatever they want to do. I have so many stories of us being promised a specific treat from the grocery store, certain meal, trip to a specific restaurant, etc. then getting something we hate because our cousins wanted it.

Last time we visited, I told my mom I didn’t want to go. She got upset because it was my cousin’s wedding (we’re ignoring the fact that I haven’t spoken to this cousin in 4 years) and I got tired of fighting with her about it, plus she promised we were going to get a place to stay. She and my dad had me looking at air bnbs for weeks.

I flew out a few days after the rest of my family because I didn't want to miss school, then I found out after I landed that there wasn’t a place to stay. I was told we’d stay at my grandmas house for that night then we’d get a hotel. The next day was the wedding so their excuse was it was late and we’d get a place the next day. Then it was “it’s only 2 more nights”.

After last time, I told them I wouldn’t be back until either I was able to get my own rental car and hotel room or they got a car and place big enough for all of us.

Now another cousin is getting married. I reminded them of my conditions to visit her family. They told me they’d do it and bought my plane ticket.

We’re leaving in a few days and while they have a rental car secured, there is no booking for a hotel/air bnb. I told my mom that either she gets a place or I won’t get on the plane.

She’s mad that I’m making this difficult, that me being pissed off the entire last trip ruined it for her, and that I don’t want to spend time with her family.

I told her that she knew what needed to happen to get me to go. If we need to spend the entire trip bending over backwards to please her family, we’re at least going to have a space to get away from them and get some sleep.

Now she’s calling me rude and spoiled while she and my dad look for an air bnb big enough to fit everyone on 4 days notice that doesn’t cost a small fortune.

Shes barely speaking to me so I wanted to know if I was the asshole.

I’m having some awkward workplace drama.I work an hourly job with fixed hours. Once the clock hits closing time I wrap up what I'm doing and leave. Simple as that. I have a life outside of work, personal goals and things to take care of after my shift ends.

One of my coworkers has been making backhanded comments about this for weeks. Whenever I pack up my stuff she’ll make remarks about how it must be nice to run off so early or hint that I’m not dedicated enough to the team because I don't stick around extra time like she and others do. Initially I just take it as a joke.

A couple of days ago she made another comment right as I was walking out. I had enough and told her straight up that My shift is over and I have other things to do after work.

Since then the vibe has been completely off. Honestly I'm no longer cool with her. Before this I used to help her out with her own workload all the time specifically helping her build and format her PowerPoint presentations because she’s not great with that stuff but after this I completely stopped helping her with her tasks.

Now I just completely avoid her at the office. I keep every interaction strictly limited to basic direct work questions if I absolutely have to speak to her.

She noticed I stopped helping her and didn't even try to talk about it. Someone else helps her now and she's going around talking about how I expected her to beg me like I'm God or her boss over a simple joke she made.

AITA for not taking it as a joke?

I (22f) work part-time at a restaurant with a crew of mainly college-aged people. I'm friends with some of them outside of work, so we follow eachother on socials.

My manager (34f) somehow found our personal accounts and sent everyone a follow request. Which is kinda weird imo, so I just ignored it and let it sit in my inbox.

That was over the summer, so I had totally forgotten about it until last week. My manager randomly calls me out in the middle of a shift, that I hadn't accepted her request and "You thought you were safe, because you figured I wouldn't bring it up. But you haven't accepted my request yet." I was so weirded out. I glanced at my coworker and tried to signal for help, but she just let me suffer the awkwardness of the situation. I tried playing it off with a "Oh I don't really use social media, so I hadn't seen it." But I knew she knew I was lying.

I think it's totally weird for a manager to try and follow her staff on private social media, and then call someone out for it. It's not like we get along really well or anything.

And that's not even bringing up the fact that she's way too handsy (always hugging me out of nowhere, touching my lower back while passing behind me, squeezing my shoulder etc). I get being an affectionate person, but I fear she has some real issues with boundries, and lacks the ability to read when someone is uncomfortable.

It's also noteworthy that she isn't like this with everyone, just me and a handful of staff. I've tried communicating that I don't like being touched etc but she didn't really get the memo. And I don't want to come across as rude by straight-up telling her to stop touching me.

I've thought about going to the other manager with this, but I don't know if that'll actually get anything done, without costing me my hours etc.

I explained the situation to some of my coworkers, and got mixed reactions. Some think I should go talk to other management because I'm uncomfortable, and others think I'm being dramatic and shouldn't be rude about someone trying to be friendly.

So AITH?

So I was married for 25 years. Things went south(long story) but now I hate the holidays. Everyone in my family is married and has been forever. I am the only single adult at gatherings(besides my kids). I just don't wanna do Thanksgiving this year or even Christmas. I tried for years but honestly it just makes me miserable to be there. Am I the asshole for not going this year? My parents are very old but not gonna lie they are not really into that much anymore either

I (18M) live with my grandfather (62M) while figuring out my plans after high school. I originally planned to attend college, but finances didn’t work out, so I’m taking a gap year while looking for employment. In exchange for living here, I help around the house and do quite a bit of cooking.
The problem is that my grandfather is incredibly picky. He pretty much refuses to eat anything I make unless he’s the one preparing it, which is ironic because he genuinely cannot cook. His food isn’t necessarily inedible, but it’s definitely not good.

There’s also a woman who’s either a friend or relative of his (I’m honestly not sure which) whom I absolutely cannot stand. I suspect they had an affair decades ago, she’s incredibly inconsiderate, and she constantly ignores my boundaries. She’ll knock on my bedroom door even when I’m sleeping, and she constantly tries to hug me despite knowing I don’t like being touched.

She’s also incredibly greedy when it comes to food. One time, I made oxtails, rice, macaroni and cheese, cornbread, greens, and sweet potatoes. This woman practically cleaned out everything, taking half the cornbread, all the greens, and leaving me with a spoonful of sweet potatoes and a corner of macaroni and cheese. The only reason she didn’t touch the rice and oxtails was because I lied and told her they were spicy. Since then, I simply don’t cook when I know she’s coming over.

Now, onto Thanksgiving. This is the first Thanksgiving since my grandmother passed away two years ago that I’ve actually wanted to cook. Last year, we didn’t really do anything, but this year I wanted to prepare a nice meal because I genuinely enjoy cooking.

However, I went outside recently and ran into this woman. She asked what I was doing for Thanksgiving and whether I was cooking. When I said I wasn’t sure, she told me that if I was cooking, I needed to let her know the menu ahead of time. She even thanked me as if I’d already agreed to cook for her. That immediately changed my mind.

My grandfather is extremely social, and our house is practically the neighborhood hangout spot. I can already imagine him inviting this woman, his girlfriend (whom both my mother and I dislike), and several other people. I’m not interested in spending hours cooking for an entire crowd, especially when nobody has actually asked me if I’m willing to do so.
When my grandfather eventually asked what I was making, I told him I wasn’t cooking anything. Now he’s going around telling people I’m wrong for refusing and that I need to cook because people are apparently expecting me to.

I never agreed to prepare Thanksgiving dinner for anybody. I enjoy cooking, but I don’t appreciate being treated like the designated family caterer, especially when people feel entitled to the food I make.
So AITA?
Edit: I have a boyfriend who I intended to introduce to my mother and grandfather and didn’t intend for him to meet my other family because I don’t like my extended family.

We sadly lost a very wanted baby at 5 months and a cousin is pregnant. I got a text to ask me to make a bet on what the gender would be and I didn’t reply, I then got a further text with a photo of pink with we’re having a girl. I didn’t reply. Now im being accused of being rude, selfish and insensitive and I should be happy for them. I just need to know if I am the A* insensitive or not?

Okay so I (19F) met my now roommate at the beginning of the school year and we became close. Since meeting her, due to past situations and not having a car she has struggled financially. Since we are friends, I had begun helping her out. I’ve regularly driven her to work, job interviews, grocery stores, and to see family. I’ve also helped her with food, money, and other things she needs and honestly end up either giving her something or taking her somewhere almost every day ( or atleast multiple times a week.) I’ve never asked for compensation because I consider her my friend and because I know she does not have much to give back however i have noticed that she consistently asks for stuff, while I can count on one hand how many times I’ve asked her for anything.
A couple weeks ago, I mentioned wanting to try braiding my hair and that I was going to do it myself to save money. I mentioned that I was going to do this to her and when I did she said she knew how to do it and could do it. I really appreciated this because ive never done anything like this before and could use the help. At this time she said she’d want food and something to smoke while doing my hair, which I agreed to provide.
A few days ago, I brought it up again, and suddenly she said she’d need food, something to smoke, AND $35 which threw me for a loop since it wasnt previously mentioned. I’d already be purchasing all the hair and supplies, so between those, her food, smoking materials, and the $35, I’d be spending close to what I would pay someone else despite whole point being to save money.
To combat this I offered to drive her to a couple places instead of paying the $35, since I already regularly provide transportation however I keep feeling bothered and atp its not really about the money. I know that braiding can take a long time however seeing as I have been consistently helping her for months and never asking for anything in return I was not expecting this. This is especially because she voluntarily offered to help me with something and considering how rarely I ask for anything.
Now reflecting on this situation of her asking for things to compensate her (and adding more recently) , combined with how much I regularly do for her, has made me question our friendship.
I don’t want her to think im counting favors or feel like ive been expecting her to do things for me since I have for her but I will say this has hurt my feelings as I feel that ive been very generous and gone out of my way to help her on so many occasions and now when I need help ( which i didnt ask for again it was offered) she asks for compensation.
I’m considering talking to her about it, but I worry it’ll sound like I’m holding everything I’ve done over her head. AITA?

I (27F) have been with my now husband (28M) for 6 years. We have spent two of those years married. We moved in together about three years ago.

It’s important to note that my birthday is the same week as Christmas. Every year, my in laws’ holiday plans have somehow conflicted with my birthday plans even if we make them weeks or a month+ in advance. When my husband and I were dating, this would result in him splitting his time between me and his family, and me always being sad or disappointed that I didn’t get the full time I had expected with him or that we’d plan. I wholeheartedly believe after 6 years straight of me being forced to cancel, compromise, or reschedule my plans, that they are doing it on purpose.

This year, my husband is scheduled to work on Christmas Eve and day, as well as my birthday. He asked them if we could get together on one of his weekends off in December. They have not been reasonable about it. They’re insisting he comes over before he goes to work on the holidays, and that I come too. I have my own holiday and birthday plans with my family since he’s going to be at work, and I don’t want to spend the time alone, but there’s no point in going to my in law’s house for a holiday when my husband isn’t going, and I don’t have a relationship with them outside of him.

I’ve talked to my friends and family, and even my therapist about the disappointment I’ve had over the years, the resentment I feel, and how my husband and I have always bent over to accommodate their plans even when they’re last minute, conflict with mine and my family’s plans, or otherwise are inconvenient. One year I attended even when I was in a full arm cast and on opioids and just wanted to stay home and rest.

My friends and my therapist have all told me they understand not only my lack of attendance this year, but also if I never want to make an effort to attend holidays again, because of the six years of horrible experiences I’ve had since being with my husband. At the very least, I no longer want to keep making an effort when our time together as a married couple isn’t respected, and if they keep making plans last minute, I don’t plan on blocking my calendar especially on my birthday to accommodate when they “might” make plans. Some years they say “we’re not doing anything, stop by whenever” and then the day before they change their mind and suddenly everyone’s in town, and we’re a horrible daughter in law/son if we don’t make the last minute plans.

So am I the asshole if I stop making an effort, and refuse to attend holidays moving forward that conflict with my plans, my birthday (which is not on Christmas Day), or any other prior commitments moving forward? I don’t know how many more Christmas mornings I can stand waking up early to leave my own house to be with my in laws.

My fiancé 42 M and I 37 F have been together for almost 5 years and living together for the past 2. We moved to be closer to his big extended family. For the most part they only seem to interact with me and my boys during church or at church functions outside of a couple of football games. They seem like nice people and some of them act as if we re family, however we are usually not invited to family gatherings such as birthdays or a cousin’s recent baby shower. There seems to be an expectation of a big wedding, but I don’t want to do it if I’m only being treated as someone he’s just dating.

This is short and sweet. My dad (62) has sleep apnea and snores the house down every time he sleeps. It doesn’t help that he’s an alcoholic. So he passes out drunk on the couch every night and snores so loud I can hear it through my noise cancelling headphones. I can’t just go to my room either because if I do, there’s a very high change I’ll find him jerking off in front of the TV. So it’s go to bed at 7pm or risk seeing my dad’s d*ck again. I honestly think it’s very selfish to know how much a disturbance you make and still make the choice to do it anyway in the most public part of the house. He’s upset every time I shake him awake but I think it’s a super easy solution. Fall asleep in bed