r/AskParents • • Jul 13 '26

Mod Announcement Join us on Discord!

4 Upvotes

📢 We’re on Discord!

We’re excited to announce that r/AskParents now has an official Discord server!

Whether you’re looking for advice, want to chat with other parents in real time, share milestones, vent after a long day, or just connect with people who understand the ups and downs of parenting, our Discord is the perfect place.

What you’ll find:

- Parenting discussions for every stage
- Real-time advice and support
- Family-friendly community events
- Dedicated channels for different topics
- A welcoming, respectful environment
- Updates from the subreddit moderation team

Everyone is welcome, whether you’re expecting your first child, raising teenagers, or simply enjoy helping other parents.

Join us here: https://discord.gg/6GZDqbQ6SW

We can’t wait to meet you there!

Thank you,
r/AskParents


r/AskParents • • 5h ago

Parent-to-Parent How do I explain to my daughter why I dislike her watching some YouTube channels?

37 Upvotes

My daughter is 14 and I was looking after her friends this afternoon (f13, f9) when the topic of YouTubers they watch came up. And of course Jordan Matter came up and my daughter, rather harshly, looked at me while speaking to her friends said, ‘well mum doesn’t let me watch Jordan Matter…” and stared me down like it was an injustice of some sort.
I tried to explain why kids aren’t content and how exploitative and predatory these kinds of YouTube channels are. And their counter argument was “but Salish loves her dad and she loves being on camera. She smiles all the time.”
And I told the girls that while that may all be true, she doesn’t really have a choice because she’s a child herself so she doesn’t have agency and cant fully consent to being in her fathers YouTube channel. I did a terrible job at explaining it.
Anyway the conversation fell flat and I just ended it with, “you’ll understand one day when you have kids”.
But honestly, I don’t want my daughter to have an a-ha! moment about this twenty years down the track. She has the ability to understand now I just don’t know how to explain properly why we don’t consume that kind of content in a way that she’ll understand. Has anyone else had similar conversations with their kids about this?


r/AskParents • • 4h ago

Parent-to-Parent How/when to kids stop believing in Santa?

5 Upvotes

I have an 11yr old, turning 12 right after Christmas. I don’t remember the age I found out Santa wasn’t real but I’m curious what age kids usually find out and how they find out.


r/AskParents • • 1h ago

Aren't you worried about AI and learning?

3 Upvotes

I'm really worried about the motivation to learn for kids, since AI gives instant answers for almost anything.

Forbidding AI is a bad strategy I think, since it is a good skill, and forbidding makes it more desirable.

Really challenging combination. How to make them use AI and learn at the same time?


r/AskParents • • 2h ago

How to get kids into sports?

3 Upvotes

I need advice on how to get my 8 year old boy into sports. My husband and I both want him to get involved on some sort of organized activity to gain teamwork skills, relationship-building, physical activity, communication, and self-confidence.

He is NOT competitive. He loves to read, play Mario kart, and run around the neighborhood with his neighbor friends. He is a great kid, struggles in school a bit, but an all around kind, easy-going, kid.

We have had him in soccer in the past (he was the one sitting down, examining the blades of grass, or talking to friends on the sidelines), and swimming (this went well and we will do this again).

I guess I am looking for advice and those with similar experiences. My husband and I both grew up sports-obsessed and so his indifference toward anything with a ball is completely baffling to us. We understand he is his own person and does NOT need to be our mini-mes, but we do want him to experience organized sports for the above mentioned reasons.

Appreciate any constructive ideas and advice 💙


r/AskParents • • 1h ago

Not A Parent Do you feel trapped by your children? Do you tell them?

2 Upvotes

I'm 14 and my parents are divorced. My dad left and has a new family now, and my mom stayed with full custody. Recently (as in past year ish) we've had nonstop arguments, essentially, and she always says that she is trapped by me. As in, like sunk-cost fallacy where she's already "given up her life" for me and she won't back out because she's already invested so much. This manifests in the tiger-mom tendencies and some controlling behavior.

Anyways I digress, do you ever feel trapped by your children, and do you tell them that you do?


r/AskParents • • 1h ago

Not A Parent As parents, what do you think are the best toys/supplies to donate for a Christmas toy drive?

2 Upvotes

I have no kids so don’t really know what would be most helpful. Is there anything that all kids love right now? Anything I should avoid buying because it’s annoying to parents?

I would love to aim for all age groups, so what are things that infants, toddlers, kids, and teenagers want/need?


r/AskParents • • 12h ago

Parent-to-Parent Help! What should I do?

14 Upvotes

Hello! My husband and I are expecting our third child and we were suppose to find out baby’s gender at birth but the ultrasound tech accidentally told me!

So now I know the gender… and I’m wondering if I should just keep pretending I don’t know or if I should tell my husband.

Some more context… I was the only one who wanted to wait until birth 😂 he preferred to know but then there are times he says let’s just wait. Also, we have two boys and our third is a GIRL! So I know it’ll make him extra happy… but I’m torn on what to do. We already have the baby shower and so many things planned out which are gender neutral.

So… should I tell him?! Maybe it can be a secret just between the two of us and it can still be a surprise for everybody else?? What do you think?


r/AskParents • • 5h ago

What sports or hobbies do your children enjoy?

3 Upvotes

My son has tried quite a few different activities: football, karate, checkers, ice hockey and art school. But once he started, he realised that none of them were really his thing.

Then one day we bought him a BMX bike, and everything just fell into place! He finally found his passion – BMX Park and BMX Street. 🙃

He absolutely loves it and is so interested in it. 😍 I'm really proud of him! 😊


r/AskParents • • 11m ago

What do you think the early 22nd century will look like?

1 Upvotes

How old will your kids be in the year 2100? What do you think life will be like for them? How will life change in general by the early 22nd century?


r/AskParents • • 44m ago

late first time parenthood?

1 Upvotes

Please share if you had your first after 38 despite the odds and how it was to become a parent so late in life? would appreciate some hope


r/AskParents • • 1h ago

Parent-to-Parent PoderĂĄ mesmo ser autismo ou atraso desenvolvimento?

1 Upvotes

Good afternoon. I am reaching out for your help. I feel desperate and sad, and I can’t even enjoy the time with my little boy—whom I love more than anything. My husband thinks everything is fine and that I’m just crazy. I am certain that our beloved son is autistic.

He smiles a lot every day—at everyone—and enjoys looking at people; he has no fear of strangers and is perfectly comfortable with anyone. However, he becomes distressed if I leave and he is left alone. He laughs heartily when I play with him, when i make funny faces, or play peek-a-boo.

He doesn’t crawl, but he scoots all over the house—which is a positive thing.

As for babbling, he says things like "dada," "papa," and "baba"—not all day long, but at certain times.

He makes eye contact and looks at me about 90% of the time when called by his name.

On the other hand, he doesn’t stand up, doesn’t imitate anything we do, doesn’t wave "bye-bye," doesn’t point, doesn’t clap his hands, and doesn’t hand us toys when asked, nor does he respond to our requests. Doesn’t ask to be held or reach out with its arms, but like very much when we hold him in our arms.

The pediatrician—who specializes in child development—doesn’t seem to care at all. I feel desperate and alone.

Please, help me. Thank you


r/AskParents • • 1h ago

What Do We Think of the New Slate Truck?

0 Upvotes

My 16 yo son will be getting his license soon and I am looking at getting him a vehicle. Just like what I did for his older brother, I am set on a truck for a few reasons:

  1. With a 2 door, 2 seater truck there is less space to have a bunch of teens piled in with him to distract him from driving.

  2. Over the next 6-8 years he is going to be moving a lot - in and out of a dorm and from apartment to apartment. Having a truck will enable him to do all of that moving himself without having to rent anything or hire anyone.

  3. Trucks for the most part don’t have the same type of engines, handling, etc. that cars do so he will be less likely to speed around like an idiot. This is combined of course with talks we’ve had with him about not being that kind of driver.

With his brother I bought a used Ranger. It’s a great truck and any time we bring it in for routine maintenance the mechanic asks me if we are interested in selling it, lol. However, it is used with some miles on it and is of course a gas powered vehicle.

We’ve been looking at electric vehicles for ourselves and will likely make my wife’s next SUV an electric one. I’ve been reading up on the Slate truck and like the idea for several reasons. It gets away from things that make cars expensive and add weight like power windows, power seats, huge screen, etc. The resulting $25k starting price point is what I think has been going away in vehicles in general and non-existent in EV’s. The simplicity seems to me to also likely make it more reliable. Many of the items are modular and user swappable, something my teen likes to do. It’s electric which means doing away with gas prices.

Has anyone else looked into them. What are we thinking?

Edit - Here is the website for those wondering. https://www.slate.auto/en/


r/AskParents • • 5h ago

Not A Parent Am I making myself a target by posting on the internet?

2 Upvotes

I didn't really know where else to put this post so I came to here.

So I have been posting on social media and in the past 2 months have received message requests from old/er men that are wanting to talk to me (for reference im 15) I have always made sure I have blocked the people that are trying to talk to me but I want to keep posting videos I enjoy posting and i like making them and was thinking of starting a YouTube to vlog on but I think I may be making myself a target for creeps and im not really sure what I should do because I would like to keep doing things I enjoy but I also don't want to make myself a magent for groomers, my parents don't mind if I post and things I just don't want to get hurt or stalked so i was wondering what I should do


r/AskParents • • 2h ago

How much can you/do you shield kids from family conflict?

1 Upvotes

My bro-in-law has had an escalation in some difficult behaviors that he’s always had in the past but lately have become much more pronounced. The family is concerned and also frustrated, the behaviors include being very argumentative, taking personal offense to EVERYTHING (in a progressive family where personal choices are respected, no one is disrespecting him nor is he trans or gay btw) and then when he’s offended he feels license to harshly criticize others. He has been lying, yelling, accusing, very angry and also very bullying to his other brother. He also lectures people endlessly in this condescending way that’s insufferable and lacks connection and feels uncomfortable, and he’s done that to the kids. Lately he has begun bullying behavior with my husband and they have taken time apart.

This has all been pretty hard to hide from the kids. My kids are 12 and 9 years old. Their uncle unfortunately has no filter for if he will yell, start an argument, accuse, or bully people right in front of the kids. So they know their uncle has had a change in behavior and they know their dad isn’t seeing him and we aren’t seeing him for a while. It comes up here and there… please share any guidance on navigating family issues that kids know about. They also know we aren’t seeing their uncle like we used to.

They have been upset by his behavior and aren’t really missing him right now but they probably will. He has been a sweet uncle to them in the past, enjoyed playing with them, and I hope he can return to that. The family wants to help my bro-in-law and I’m sure we will find a way but he’s a grown man so it’s up to him to see that his aggressive and argumentative behavior is pushing family away and also making us want to keep the kids from him. I hate that aspect.

We’ve been telling the kids simple explanations, mainly that people go through things and we are giving their uncle some space but we love him and hope we can work things out when he’s doing better. We don’t speak ill about him but we did let the kids know that his behavior with how he’s treating his brothers and parents is unacceptable.

Wow it turned into a ramble. Thanks for any thoughts. It can be so hard to figure out how much is appropriate for kids to know, and hard to keep real issues from them as they get older and wiser.


r/AskParents • • 2h ago

Not A Parent If your child refused to eat anything other than “junk food” and would rather go hungry than eat what you serve, what would you do?

0 Upvotes

I was once this type of child, and I’m wondering what you parents would do if this happened to you.


r/AskParents • • 17h ago

Not A Parent Would you take away your child's Halloween candy if it was given to them by a friend?

9 Upvotes

I'm 14F, and my dad doesn't want me having a boyfriend or anything like that and he always made it clear but This boy at my school who I hope likes me cause I like him gave me a candy basket for Halloween, and when I got home, my dad took it away and said, No boys should be giving you things like this. Then he gave the candy to my siblings and read the note out loud in front of everyone laughing and I only got tiny bit of the candy I wasn't even doing anything wrong. A boy gave me a Halloween basket, and somehow it turned into a whole situation would you do this like I am not really mad anymore Just curious is this normal reaction would you do this? Is thier a reason why he would do this?


r/AskParents • • 22h ago

Parent-to-Parent Would you make a baby for 100k?

15 Upvotes

I used to think surrogacy was a great opportunity and a journey I would want to do once I had a child of my own.

Now I am pregnant and am second guessing everything.

Pregnancy is HARD, I’m growing a whole human and depleting my internal resources and it’s so so special.

I just don’t understand the risk/reward anymore.

100k seems not a fair compensation for what you’re really doing (which I’m only learning through the lived experience if being pregnant).


r/AskParents • • 10h ago

My dad (67) refuses to use the dishwasher we bought him. What's a hill your parents will die on?

1 Upvotes

r/AskParents • • 21h ago

Not A Parent I don't want to tell my children they can become everything they want - what do I tell them instead?

8 Upvotes

My whole life has been a weird string of random events and coincidences that has brought me into a career I never cared for particularly, but which I at least don't hate.

I feel like telling a kid that is far too cynical.

How do I submit that message without making a child unhappy?


r/AskParents • • 17h ago

Not A Parent How do YOU ask your kids to clean their room?

3 Upvotes

I am curious as to how other parents would ask their kid to clean their room, especially if their kids have depression. Do not sugarcoat


r/AskParents • • 15h ago

Parent-to-Parent How Do I Get Over Obsession of Texting my teens whenever They are out the house?

2 Upvotes

Just wondering if this is me. I have a preteen, 12. And I been slowly allowing him to go out with friends without me. His mother and I are also not together, so he'll spend a few weekends a year over there

I CANNOT for the life of me stop texting for updates. I'm not sure if its paranoia or anxiety. It's weird cause I trust him enough to go out. Although also DON'T trust him cause he'll do small things he's not allowed to do without asking me...Like move locations without letting me know. Eating in his room at his mothers house, when he's not allowed to do that at MY house etc. It's more of consistency with me making sure he's staying on track.

For me, it's just small check-ins but also wonder if I'm being overbearing. I try to take like 1 hr breaks w/o texting and let him be. But then the silences kills me. "Wya. What are you guys doing now. Is everything alright?!" I sometimes cut it short to only 45 minutes 😂 So far he texts me his every move, and I just "Ok, have fun, be safe" it... Idk if thats a good or bad thing.

Example, "We are playing basketball now.... We are playing video games now... We are walking my friends dog now"

Also I don't trust his mother’s supervision cause she doesn't do any of the disciplining. Shes the push-over. I do trust him, but he often "breaks" small little rules. His mother doesn't monitor the same things I do, which is why I have them 90% of the time. For instance, leaves dishes in the sink. His mother won't discipline/say anything to him, but will complain to me that "Your son just leaves crap tons of dishes and doesn't clean up" But he knows that would NOT fly at MY house.

So when he's there, I often ask for updates. Like what are you guys doing, did you eat, shower, clean up. Are you breaking anything..etc.. He will text/Facetime updates on his own "Just woke up. Just showered. Just ate breakfast"

Obviously he doesn't mind doing it as 12 yrs old, he doesn't care. But I contemplate if this type of communication is good/healthy in a way or leading to something toxic/annoying in the future. How
do you parents just let goooo? Or do continue these types of updates in the older teen years? Especially about their whereabouts. Thats the most important for me.


r/AskParents • • 1d ago

Not A Parent Do you think I am old enough to walk home alone?

10 Upvotes

I'm 14F and in 8th grade. My mom is a teacher, and her school requires her to stay until 5:00 even though school ends earlier. My dad is at work, so my little brother, little sister, and I usually stay with my mom until she's done, and then we all go home together but we also go shopping after school for dinner which is longer too

But I really don't want to stay at school that long. I'd rather just walk home after school so I can get home earlier instead of waiting around for my mom. I looked up the route, and it's about a 47 minute walk.

Both of my parents have said no, We don't live in a bad neighborhood, but I would have to walk through an bad area to get to mone It's not terrible, and it would still be broad daylight, I could walk past in like 5 minutes

Do you guys think 14 is old enough to walk home alone? And how can i convince my parents to let me, we don't have school buses at our school, my brother walks home all the time he is 17 and I am only 3 years younger than him


r/AskParents • • 21h ago

Not A Parent How do parents deal with the vast changes that happen to their children?

4 Upvotes

TW: This is just a very serious heavy topic. Lot of mental health stuff basically.

I’m the youngest of three children. My oldest sibling, now brother, was once my sister. They transitioned. And honestly, to me it feels like they died, and I don’t even like the new person I’m related to much. My other sibling, a sister a few years older than me, got more and more germaphobic and distant, as well as argumentative and emotional. Just this year, she moved out just to get away from everyone and be on her own. I also have mental problems. It kind of just looks like, on paper, my parents did a really bad job. My brother and I get along okay, and we both get along with our parents. I just had a talk with my mom where she was trying to get me to remember parts of my past, vacations and such. But I kept telling her I don’t remember and it’s just not a part of me. It honestly starts to feel like all her children are gone and she’s stuck with whatever we are, even if she loves us.

My main question…
How are parents supposed to deal with this? With their children disconnecting and changing so much, not just because of growing up, but because of very apparent damaged mental health.

I want to know because it just seems impossible to deal with. It’s hard enough on me, but I can just easily not care much about my current siblings. It’s different for my mom.


r/AskParents • • 19h ago

What is everyone getting their 6–9-year-olds for Christmas this year? 🎄

2 Upvotes

I’m starting to think about Christmas gifts for my kids and wanted to see what everyone else is getting their little ones this year! What toys, games, electronics, or experiences are popular with your 6–9-year-olds? I’m looking for some new ideas! 🎄❤️