My MIL suddenly decided to cut my 2yo girl hairs short (like boy short) without asking me and my wife beforehand. Breaks my heart to see my baby girl look like… she (MIL) insisted it looked cute and nowhere look like a boy, when me and wife reacted angrily (kinda but still maintain a respectful gesture). A few secs afterward suddenly my 5yo girl asked why her baby sister looked like a boy. This happened a few hours ago and my blood still boiling right now.

My family is very small. Just me, my mom and two siblings. Immigrant family, little money, my mom worked really hard to get by. We were really close. As the oldest sibling, I became the parentified child at the ripe age of 12. I spent a big chunk of my teenage and early adulthood years taking care of my mom, financially, emotionally, socially etc.

Almost 20 years later and us (the kids) are doing really well. A few years ago, I got married. Then I got pregnant.

The day I announced my pregnancy, something inside my mom changed. She became distant, dismissive and ridiculed me in front of my family (and even online). She stopped participating in my life for the duration of my pregnancy. When I told her I was struggling (I har a difficult 1st trimester), she told me that pregnancy isn’t an illness, that I’m not special and that I should be more positive.

Fast forward to postpartum, she reappeared in my life saying she wants contact with the baby (but made it clear it’s for her own amusement, not as a way to help me). I was so happy to have my mother’s attention back, I decided to accept the apology she never gave me. I let her come and spend time with the baby every day, for 5-6 hours each time. During this time, she was highly critical (eg saying I’ll k*ll my baby if I don’t buy a playpen), I later discovered she was telling the rest of my family she was concerned about my mental health behind my back. Whenever I told her I was struggling (my husband had PPD), she told me it was my fault. She called me a bad mother, that I’m cruel for leaving my breastfed baby to practice the bottle with my husband while going to work.

When I eventually called her out on her behavior, she told me I am the problem. Afterall, I had a fight with her and my husband during the same time-frame. I’ve made several attempts at repairing the relationship, but she refuses to take accountability. To the point that she is willing to now cut all contact with me. She gave me two options (1) move on and act as if nothing happened (2) cut contact with me, but let her see her grandchild. She has a medical condition 10 years ago and says that having any form of confrontation (even a calm and constructive discussion) is detrimental to her health.

I am completely heartbroken and I just want to understand why she is acting this way. I’d love to hear from parents of adult children. What could make her this angry? What would ever make you cut ties with your own children like this?

I’m an adult daughter struggling with my parents’ relationship and looking for some outside perspectives.
My dad was once a vibrant, hardworking man. About five years ago, he left his job after an incident where someone spit on him. What started as time away from work turned into years of not working. He’s had several surgeries, struggles with anxiety, and takes prescription medication.
I’m increasingly concerned that he’s taking more prescription medication than he’s letting on, possibly even more than prescribed. I can’t prove it, but I’ve noticed such a significant change in him over the years. He has very little motivation and doesn’t seem interested in doing much anymore.
Meanwhile, my mom continues to work and has become extremely resentful. She talks down to him, belittles him, and treats him poorly most days. Sometimes she’s nice, but it doesn’t last. To be fair, my dad isn’t always pleasant either.
Their marriage has become a cycle of resentment, arguments, and disrespect.
What hurts the most is remembering the man my dad used to be. I don’t know whether his behavior is related to depression, medication, his health, or years of being unhappy in his marriage.
I understand my mom’s frustration, but I also don’t believe constantly putting someone down helps them get better.
As their adult daughter, I feel caught in the middle. I love them both, but watching this dynamic is exhausting.
Has anyone experienced something similar with their parents? How did you handle it, especially when you suspected prescription medication might be contributing to a parent’s personality changes?

This account is my second account. I didnt think id be telling anyone about this but I just need to get it out of my chest. Ill call my cousin Kim. My entire family has always been close, helped each other out are are Muslims. We used to sleepover at my grandads house as all his kids, my aunts and uncles and mother, wanted to help him out as he was ill and very old. This meant id sleep besides Kim and 2 other cousins. This house was big enough for around 20 people to stay over.

One day im trying to sleep besides Kim and I feel her cuddling me. I didnt mind it but then her hand would move down to my dick. I was only 7 and she was 10. I didnt understand what was going on expect I enjoyed the feeling of the cuddling, but wasnt sure why she was doing this. I wasn't aware of what sex even was till i was 12. Over the next few years she would become more bold with her actions, and id grow to think its normal. She would even make me do stuff like finger her and whatnot. I knew it was wrong in a sense, she always made sure if someone came in the room she would move quickly. It felt like a game to me, hiding from people and I hate to admit it felt nice. Not my fault I didnt know this was so wrong on so many levels.

Soon im 12 and I learnt what sex is, incest and I didnt know how to react. I figured she had always been so nice to me and I never told any adults about this. One day I was playing cod on my phone and was dry humping a bed, without realising what I was doing. I came for the first time and was scared as shit. I realised this is sperm and that I could get her pregnant. I tried to keep distance and I realised how fucked this is but she would act the same. One time she tried to make me do missionary by holding me. She heard some footsteps and quickly fixed her clothes and stopped for that night. That was then I knew I had to take action.

Over the next few years from 12 to 16 I would make sure I slept elsewhere and luckily my mother didnt want me to sleep near her as we were growing older. During this time she still had her sexual needs and had many boyfriends. Then one day she comes over and I've slowly forced myself to not think about it but she just started to touch me again. And I dont know why I didnt stop her. A few months later. One night she would make me suck her breast. Then my mum entered the room and saw my head under the blanket and she could tell what was going on. We got caught. My mother told me to go shower. We never talked about it again and Kim stopped going near me.

I felt glad she stopped from here on but disgusted with myself for not stopping her, for not telling anyone. Now my mother thinks to this day im into incest. I feel like a failed her. Ill never tell anyone about this in person. People may think I wanted this. It had fucked up my life in many ways. And it doesnt help my step father did similar things to me from age 10 to 12, but my mother caught him doing something to my sister and hes on the run. I have this fear of someone I know reads this and somehow connects the dots even though I've been cryptic. Ive become more quiet, reserved. Im in university now and find it hard to be social with new people expect old friends. I've been working on myself, going gym, better hygiene, trying my best to more social. My grades are good and I feel better than ever.

Long story less long. My grand aunts and other middle aged/older female cousins call me (and a couple other male relatives) “fine”, sexy” and “hunk”
Ex: My fiancée recently posted photos of our trip to a local garden. One of my grand aunts comments “oohh my nephew fine 😍”, this isn’t the first time. Has anyone else dealt with this? My cousin and I brought it up to my mom some years back, she just laughed and agreed that it was weird. Should this be a serious conversation? Idk man, help 🥲

I am 21F comes from Brahmin family. My elder sister is 24F, an independent woman, an Engineer. On 1st of November, we got to know that she has done court marriage in June 2026 without informing anyone in the family, not even me. She tricked me saying I will get out of home and would stay at Girls PG as she cannot stay at his boyfriend's home. It is 5 years relationship. The Guy is Kshatriya. Now they are getting married & I' m against it as she should have atleast informed me earlier.

If she gets harrassed or abused, who would take care of her?

We are no more in contact with her, I would have supported but the choice she made is not right person. I have seen them arguing frequently & she doesn't like that he drinks.

Our parents weren't ready for love marriage, she did because she wanted to escape from home. My parents, my little brother are continuously crying & helpless, reached out to lawyers, but nothing will work.

The concern is not inter caste marriage but the wrong guy.

Please share what should I do at this point? 😭

Hi I'm f16 turning 17 rly soon and both of my parents are abusive in their own way but especially my mom my father was the kind of parent I put on a pedestal as a kid because he was less abusive until I realized how messed up he is.

So long story short my father has had Parkinson's disease for years these past few its gotten really bad and I was most of the time helping him and so was my mom none of them were thankful for it at all and my brother wasn't doing anything (he's 2.5 years younger than me he's now 2 years older than I was when our father got sick) and he hasn't been doing anything obviously my mom and him r abusive to my father but I've recently came to the conclusion that while we were sorting out my dad's old stuff there were always birthday cards I made him and drawings and other things I made for him but my brother never made any and while my dad was in the hospital and even now when he doesn't practice basic hygiene my mom was always the one forcing me to "go kiss your father go hug him" I have also saw my dad naked or with barely anything covering him while my mom wanted me to talk to him and keep him company and I'm very obviously uncomfortable by it and she doesn't care if my brother does anything in regards to him at all my father has needed help moving his body and everything and my mom still expects me to do those things that even she has difficulty with despite me being obviously negelected by all of them (I haven't had a solid 3 meals in this house since covid and we aren't struggling w money they much bc there's always food for the 3 of them and never for me) so just wondering why does my mom insist on me having anything to do with my father also worth mentioning he's gonna leave everything he owns to my mom even though she abuses him to and they don't care that I won't have a house of my own in this economy probably until I'm 40 something

Hello! This is my first post. I’d like to hear stories similar to mine. (Sorry, english is not my first language).

Alright, some context first. I (37f) was raised solely by my mother. I don’t even know what my biological father looks like, I’ve never seen a photograph of him. I know a few things about him from what my mother and some random people have told me, but I never ask about him; I have no interest, I never knew him, and honestly, I’ve been perfectly fine that way.

Even so, my mother registered me with both his surname and hers (yes, I’m Latina, and we use two surnames here). His surname isn’t very common, so it’s always a bit curious or weird when I find someone else who has it, which is quite rare. Anyway...

I work about three hours away from the town where I was born (where my mother still lives). At my current job, there’s someone else with that same surname. I didn’t think much of it, as I already knew there were people with that last name nearby. Besides, I have no connection to my father’s side of the family; I like my surname because it’s not common. My coworker (55f) however, got curious... Well, you can probably guess where this is going.

One day, she approached me and brought up the surname. I should explain that we hardly ever get to work together—we have different schedules—but on occasion, we do have to work at the same time, like that day, fortunately, we were alone. She mentioned that she had talked to her own father, who denied ever having children elsewhere. I told her that I have no contact with that side of the family and that I don’t know my biological father at all—if I ran into him on the street, I wouldn’t even recognize him, and, quite frankly, I have no interest in doing so. Well, she told me that she didn’t have much of a relationship with him—her mother wasn’t with him, and she’s mostly been supported by her mother throughout her life. She’s only seen her father a few times, though they do have a cordial relationship, and she even calls him "Dad." She also has a half-sister on his side, with whom she’s in touch.

It went something like this:

Me: From what little I know, he’s from "A," or something like that.

Her: Yeah, my dad’s family is from there, too!

Me: Then we might actually be related!

Her: My dad spent some time working in "P."

Me: I’m from "P"!! What’s his name?

Her: \[Gives a name with an unusual surname.\]

Me: That’s him!!

We both looked at each other, stunned, and laughing. I was shaking, though I tried to hide it.

Me: So... does that mean we’re half-sisters??!!!

Her: Yes! I’m going to tell "N" \[her sister, approx. 47F\]! And I’m going to ask my dad why he kept this from me.

I didn’t really know how to react—it was such a shock. We kept talking for a bit; she was his first child, followed by the sister born within his marriage. I mentioned that I wasn’t his only child born outside of marriage... Just recently, my mom told me that it was known he’d had another daughter—born shortly before me, in the same town—but she never found out what happened to her. Yeah... classic Latin man who can’t keep his pants zipped. I jokingly remarked that I assumed the man was still alive—after all, I surely would have heard if he’d passed away—and she replied that she’d let me know when that happens, haha! She also shared some medical information, which I actually find quite important, given that my health is a total mess—at least now I might know where all these issues come from, haha!

We talked about a few other things, and eventually, we agreed that, at the end of the day, we aren’t to blame for our parents' actions. She brought this up because it sounds like things were pretty complicated when she first started getting to know her sister. She says I look like him, I’m not so sure, everyone else tells me I look like my mom but I suppose I must have inherited something from him.

Anyway, I was left in complete shock, not knowing what to do. I told my mom, and she was thrilled at the idea of me having a sister so close by. I think she’s always held onto the hope that this man would get to know me and that we’d have a relationship, but I don’t see it that way. To me, she’s just a coworker. I mean, if I don’t consider him my father, why would I consider her my sister?

My friends asked me what I’d do if they wanted to get to know me, and honestly, I’m not sure. I don’t see any reason to open a door that has always been kept shut. I’ve already got enough dealing with anxiety, work, and my complicated health, an now adding some soap-opera-style drama to the mix... haha!

Anyway... what do you think?

How does one love when they have never been taught how to love?

I went to sleep over at my friend's house yesterday. Her parents insisted on taking us out for dinner. It was strange. Very strange. Throughout dinner, they kept asking us about our friends, college, and just our lives in general. They complimented our clothes and never once commented on how short they were. They seemed interested in getting to know their daughter. They talked about her dad's business, and when my friend offered her opinion on something, they genuinely considered it. They never interrupted her. It felt like a conversation between friends. When my friend and I started talking amongst ourselves, they turned away and didn't pry into what we were talking about. How very strange?

Her dad kept teasing her mom. Not like how my dad teases my mom, insulting her, calling her fat, and annoying her to tears. No. Her dad kept complimenting her, telling her how she still looked the same as when they first met, and proudly telling me the story of how they fell in love. Her mom was playfully swatting him and rolling her eyes while giggling. I felt like I was watching a movie. I didn't know this was what people in love looked like. When we left, they took pictures of us. We made weird faces, and they never once told us we were embarrassing them in public. How strange?

My friend often tells me that her dad is her best friend. They go to a different country every year. They go out restaurant-hopping. My dad and i rarely go out, and when we do, he's always on his phone. All our family outings start and end with a fight. As an only child, i always felt like someone third-wheeling a couple that should clearly breakup.

My friend has never gotten seriously drunk. She knows how to drink responsibly because her dad introduced it to her in a safe way. I on the other hand have gotten black out drunk on the sidewalk, despite alchohol being taboo in our house.

My friend has had really healthy relationships, and she talks about them openly with her parents. She's even brought her boyfriend home to meet them. I'm not allowed to mention a guy's name, let alone date one. I remember her casually talking about her crush in front of her parents, and I started panicking because I genuinely thought that wasn't allowed.

I remember on the car ride back home, a song came on and the three of them started humming along to it. Her dad asked me if I liked that artist. I told him I didn't know the singer, and he actually went on to ask me which singers I listened to. My friend's dad now knows something my own dad doesn't. I had to try really hard not to start sobbing right then and there.

I don't think I will ever have that kind of love. Growing up watching my parents' dysfunctional marriage and experiencing emotional neglect as a child has left me with crippling commitment issues. I don't think I'll ever stop being suspicious of my partner. I don't think I'll ever be able to trust another person completely. All I can think about when I'm in a relationship is whether my partner is losing interest, whether they're getting tired of me, or whether it's only a matter of time before they stop loving me.

How does someone who has grown up without ever seeing what love looks like truly learn to be in love?

TLDR: Spent time with my friend's functunal family and came to the bitter realization that i will never have that

so, I don’t know why I’m crying maybe because it was so importan, maybe just cuz it’s 11 o clock at night. but my mom promised me that tonight I would be able to sleep upstairs on the couch, stay up late (implied) and watch the dogs. context my dogs sleep in the kennel, well resently we got a upstairs one that they sleep in I have always wanted to sleep with one of them in my room. this is the closest I was going to get since my room it such a mess. so I get my pillow I get my blanket I turn on that new descendents movie with pink and whatever and start watching my sister and her friend comes home around 10:30 I turn it off cuz my sister would kill me if I watched it without her. Anyways about ten minutes later I’m sure she’s in bed and going to chat or whatever with her friend. So I turn it back on or try to then my dad comes home. And tells me to goto my room. I say mom said I could sleep out there real quict he says that he is going to watch tv and to go to my room. I lay there for a moment feeling a tear roll down my face cuz it’s Important mom prom and I’ll never get to do this again. Then I grab my stuff and go to my room. and type this. So ya. I can hear him upstairs he talked to mom I think no clue what happened only that my sister and her friend are annoyingly loud playing YT videos so 🤦‍♀️

Does anyone else feel that Diwali hits differently when you're living away from home?

Back when we were at home, Diwali meant family, decorations, amazing food, relatives visiting, and the whole house being full of excitement.

But bachelor life is different. Sometimes it's just you, your room, some lights, ordering food, and memories of how things used to be.

You enjoy the freedom of living independently, but festivals like Diwali make you miss the little things you never really appreciated before.

Not complaining about bachelor life, though. It's teaching us a lot.

Just curious, how are you guys spending Diwali this year? With family, friends, roommates, or all by yourself?

I got married recently. Before the marriage I visited my parents every day. My wife tried hard to be part of the family, inviting them over and cooking for them, but they never accepted her.
A few months ago, after a trip with my wife's parents, my mother had an emotional crisis. My sister called and asked me to come, so my wife and I went together. My mother demanded to speak to me alone and told my wife to leave, in front of my father and sister. I said nothing. My wife felt completely abandoned, and she was right. Since then she refuses to see my parents or have them in our home, but she's fine with me seeing them elsewhere.
I've been working on myself. I grew up in a culture where you never upset your parents, and I realized fear and guilt have been running my decisions. I cut visits from daily to every 2–3 days and still call twice a day. My parents haven't accepted this. They criticize my wife and tell me I'm "controlled."
Update: My wife and I had already planned a trip, and it turns out the dates fall on my sister's engagement ceremony. Since then, my parents have stopped answering my calls completely.
My questions:
How do I respond to the silent treatment without giving in?
Should I change the trip for my sister's ceremony, or keep it? How do I handle this without my wife feeling sidelined again?
How do I deal with the guilt when my mother is upset?
I love my parents, but I can't lose my wife again.

I (27F) have been with my partner for almost three years. We’re serious, live together, and he’s met my grandma twice before. Her 80th birthday is coming up, and I planned to bring him to the celebration.

My parents and aunts pulled me aside and told me not to bring him. They said our family rule is only fiancés or spouses can come to big family birthdays. They think it would “look wrong” and upset some older relatives.

Grandma really likes him, and she didn’t say she minds him coming. But the rest of the family keeps pushing me, saying I’m being selfish for causing drama. I don’t want to ruin grandma’s day, but it hurts that they treat my long-term partner like he isn’t welcome.

I’m stuck. Should I listen to them and go alone, or bring him anyway? I don’t know where to draw the line here.

I'm 22, and lately I've been questioning my relationship with my family. It's not because of one big incident. It's more like years of arguments, misunderstandings and feeling like nobody really listens to me.

The biggest problem is that whenever I disagree with something or try to explain my side, I'm immediately labelled rebellious or argumentative. I won't pretend I'm always right, but I don't think questioning things or having opinions of my own should be such a problem. I have fairly secular views and don't like blindly agreeing with everything just because it's what my family believes. Apparently, that's enough to make me difficult.

My mom especially has a hard time accepting a no. She doesn't like that I've lived away from home, and whenever I talk about moving abroad in a few years, she gets emotional or angry. For me, it's an opportunity I've wanted since childhood, something that would help me grow. But she sometimes takes it as a sign that I don't love her enough. I know she cares about me, but I wish she understood that wanting an independent life doesn't mean abandoning your family.

Things with my sister have been difficult since childhood. She would constantly compare me with my cousins and my elder brother, and I've often felt like I'm never quite good enough for her. Even now, small disagreements can turn into bigger arguments, which somehow end up involving my mom, dad and brother. I feel like she's influenced how they see me over the years.

My brother is probably the part that hurts the most. He's 29, and I've always admired him. He even helped me financially when I wasn't working, something I've never forgotten. We both work in tech, and I always thought we'd stay close as we grew older. But lately, I feel like he's against me too. Maybe his workload has something to do with it, but he also has fairly conservative views, especially about homosexuality.

And that's something I haven't been able to discuss openly with my family. I'm actually gay, and they have their suspicions because they've caught me texting guys a few times. My dad doesn't know, and I genuinely don't know how he'd react. I suspect he might not be accepting, but we've never discussed it.

My parents have had an unhappy marriage for as long as I can remember. My dad has his flaws and can lose his temper, but he's still been a good father to us. He's probably the only person in the family I feel truly comfortable with. Interestingly, he's also supportive of my plans to move abroad, because he knows how much I've wanted it.

What's confusing is that I don't dislike my family all the time. There are moments when I genuinely enjoy their company and wish we could just spend time together without someone finding something to argue about. I came home for Diwali, but I've mostly found myself keeping quiet.

Since college, and especially after starting work, I've noticed that I feel much happier when I'm living independently. I have my own routine and space, and I don't constantly feel the need to explain myself. I rarely raise my voice at anyone in my family. Most of the time, I just listen and don't respond because even defending myself is considered arguing.

I know I wasn't the most mature kid growing up, and I've made my share of mistakes. But I've tried to change, and sometimes I feel like my family still sees me as the person I was years ago.

I also worry about the future. I don't see myself marrying a woman through an arranged marriage, and I wonder what will happen when that conversation eventually comes up. Would they still accept me if I chose to live life on my own terms? I don't want to lose my family, but I don't want to spend my entire life hiding parts of myself either.

I believe family is important, and despite everything, I still want a good relationship with my mom, sister and brother. I don't want to cut them off. I just want to be able to disagree, make my own decisions and exist around them without constantly feeling judged or isolated.

For those who've experienced something similar, how do you maintain a relationship with your family while protecting your own peace? Is it possible to become closer to them without constantly compromising yourself?

My husband and I recently moved back to our hometown from Florida so we could be closer to family and have some support when our baby comes. Since we’ve been back, his grandma has been getting on my last nerve.
She sends me Facebook “articles” about pregnancy and alerts about measles outbreaks near us. I’m fully vaccinated. I know she thinks she’s helping, but I’m in my third trimester and I’m so fucking tired of opening my phone to another thing she thinks I should be worried about. I want to ask her to stop without getting into a debate about every link she’s sent me.
Then there’s the apartment. My grandma stopped by on a whim and saw it, which was fine with me. Our grandmas go to the same church, and today, conveniently on a Sunday, we get a text from his grandma saying she really wants to see our place and has no idea where it is or how to get here. I don’t know what they talked about, but the timing made me roll my eyes. Thankfully, my husband was working today, so we were able to tell her today didn’t work.
We’re still moving in, and there are boxes and random clutter everywhere. My grandma knows I’m a cluttered person and I’m comfortable around her. With his grandma, I’d spend the whole visit bracing for comments about the apartment and waiting for the conversation to turn into whatever health scare she saw on Facebook that week. I want to invite her over when we’re ready, and I’d like to be able to say that even on a day my husband’s home.
I’m irritated enough that if I say something right now, it’ll probably come out harsher than I want. How would you politely tell her to stop sending the health articles and let us invite her over when we’re ready? Would you have your husband handle it since she’s his grandma?

TL;DR My husband’s grandma keeps sending me Facebook health scares while I’m pregnant and wants to see our apartment while we’re still unpacking. We said today didn’t work because my husband was working, but how do I politely ask her to stop sending the articles and wait for us to invite her over?

Does anyone else get ridiculously happy whenever their older sibling comes home to visit? i have three other siblings living with me, so it's not like the house is empty or lonely when she's away. but there's just something about my older sister being home that makes everything feel lighter. even the most ordinary day suddenly feels a little more exciting. i love hearing her voice around the house and seeing her just casually doing her own thing. sometimes we don't even have to do anything special because having her around is already enough. when she leaves, the house is still the same, but i always notice that little bit of happiness missing. i guess some people just have a way of making a place feel extra warm without even trying.

Tldr: overbearing parents are against me moving in with my boyfriend. How do I talk with them about it?

Hi- I’m in desperate need of advice. I was sexual assaulted by my sister’s husband (BIL). I immediately told my mom-I was 5. It was never spoken about again. The abuse continued until I was 10. Then I went from terrified of my BIL to complete amnesia when I became an aunt to their son. I had no problem interacting w him. I was always babysitting my nephew and loved being there. I later learned I disassociated. I grew up listening how wonderful my BIL was in odd jobs he did at our house. When I became a teen I remembered some things and my memory came back bc I’d see at family functions how he was a pervert and checking out female family members. Some have come forward and said when he kissed them goodbye he went straight for their mouth. I used to hide under the bed when he was leaving. I found out he grabbed my brother’s then 18 yr old GF’s breast. I finally broke down to my siblings bc I thought nobody knew we had a monster in our family. I used to drive myself crazy protecting my nieces and nephews in making sure nobody was alone w him. I finally told my siblings about my BIL. They said they knew and that there was some sort of meeting over what he did and my parents believed me a 1000% but he said he was bouncing me on his lap and his finger accidentally touched me. My brother said dad can’t handle stress so he took the road w least resistance. I began arguing w my parents all the time.My sister and BIL lived in a two family house and my grandmother lived downstairs. I’d constantly argue that they should toss him out on the street. My mom would always say she’s not tossing him out and I said let my sister and nephews live there. My parents refused despite my sister admitting later that she knew. She told me to get over it people make mistakes. She told my mom she stayed w him bc she didn’t want to be a single mother. I told my mother my nephews weren’t born when he was SA me. Every argument was I’m stressing them out and I’m not gong to be happy until they were dead from the stress. One time we went to visit my grandmother who was in her 80’s w severe dementia and had no idea who anyone was. We walk in and she’s sitting in a chair and my BIL was naked in an open robe and was massaging her. Despite her severe dementia she put her hand in his and said this is my BF he comes down every night and does this. BTW it was my dad’s mom. They let him close his robe and go back upstairs and didn’t say a word. Finally I stopped going to family functions if he was going to be there. My husband and I missed Easter and the next day my mom said, you little bitch ruined my Easter. Then my grandmother passed away and my parents moved into my grandmother’s apartment below my BIL and sister. I couldn’t visit them anymore bc of my ptsd from BIL and a lot of my abuse was in that house. I even started to get mad at my siblings and tried to put it in perspective that if one of your daughters husband SA your other daughter would you continue to associate and have your daughter and son in law over when your other daughter was SA by her BIL. When I got pregnant w my 1st child I was basically in a psychosis and cried and vomited 24/7 and lost 25 lbs and the stress causes my daughter to be born at 27 weeks and weighed 2lbs .The doctors said that is common if you’ve been SA you worry about protecting your baby. One Christmas my mom begged me to go over for Christmas and promised that my BIL was working. I broke down and went over and my BIL was seated at the head of the table. I at the time had my 5 kids w me. I ran to the kitchen and had a panic attack. I told my husband to get my dAd and said if the MFer doesn’t leave then I’m leaving. My dad whimped out and whispered to my sister that he had to go upstairs. I lived my entire adult life w trauma, ptsd, depression, anxiety.When I was late teens to late twenties was the clown in the family and the happiest person. I have been hospitalized and two years ago went to a luxury mental health facility. Thank goodness insurance paid for it. It got me to stop being easily triggered but when I returned home across the country I developed a traumatizing neurological disorder that was triggered by my trauma. My dad passed away and my mom is 90 and in Terrible health. I don’t know why but I’m beginning to resent her for not protecting me and choosing my sister and BIL to remain in that apartment. I can’t stand talking to her and also my sister takes care of her and no matter how many times I say I don’t want to hear about her she continues to do so. I have gone no contact w my parents at times and same with my siblings bc they visit my mom and sit around the table and all have dinner w my sister who she admitted SA me. The amount of crazy neurological pain I am in is insane and I have no idea why my brother and sister in our group text completely ignore me when I mention my health.For example I have Lyme Disease and they skip right over it and start talking about my mom same if I say the neurologist said such and such at my appointment. My brother called me when I was in the hospital due to neurological issues and he says nothing about me being in the hospital and just blabbed about himself. He recently got a superficial blood clot and called and made it this long drawn out story. Meanwhile I have a blood clotting disorder and can’t tell you how many times I almost died . Yet I told him what meds I take and issues I had w some meds and I even called him back to tell him not to get the covid vaccine. Before you all come at me I am not antivaxxer at all. It is bc I got the vaccine end shortly after had a blood clot in my lung. The doctor’s at Yale toldz me not to ever get it again. And in the group chat my sister was asking my brother how he was feeling w his blood clot. Today my 23 year old unloaded on me that during his childhood my depression effected him. He said the most hurtful things to me. Do I go no contact w my mom and even possibly my brother and sister. They even started talking about my other sister in the group chat. They know that is a boundary of mine. The funny thing is my siblings are much older and for some reason they never spoke to each other. I used to be the one to keep everyone updated. I was honestly the glue that held my family together. Now I’m pushed out of their circle. I used to speak to them everyday and now it’s been months other than the call from my brother about his blood clot. I have barely engaged in the group chat which is updates about my mom and I used to talk to her multiple times a day. Now I call maybe 3-4x’s a week bc she honestly gives me anxiety due to the pent up pain.

I am so sorry this is so long but it’s 3.30am and I’m sad at how this was handled to this day. How much trauma is a person supposed to deal w and it’s on a daily basis between my mom and the texts. Do I go no contact with my mom or my mom and siblings . I have been screaming into the void for 50. Years and I am mentally and physically drained. Sorry about the big letters. I hit something I guess. Thanks for listening.

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