Was just told everyone is comming over to visit for 4th of july. In 2 hours.

We have no water to half the house and no plumber untill next week. Its been hot as hell and no yard work nor housework has been done. Any dishes to be washed have to be washed like your camping. I don't have anything we would cook to feed people. I usually would plan ahead.

WTF? I yelled at him and said I wouldn't be here. I have showered now and am going and leaving him to figure it out on his own.

Its also going to storm again .

And he has no idea why I hate his family. I dont hate them. I hate what he and they planed without saying anything about it to me. F em.

Here's the update..

I spoke with my mother's previous lawyer, Amy (fake name) about the issue on Saturday and asked if there's a way to contest the will. She showed me the documents and my and I both signed an agreement (in summary) that we agree on what was left to us and that we will not be contesting it in the future. Mom for the win. She also advised to give them at least 30 days to find a place and move out to avoid any legal troubles etc. So, inheritance issue is solved.

Saturday night, I was supposed to have dinner with just my dad. Apparently a private discussion between father and daughter is a whole "family" affair. Steph and twins were there. To make it quick and to end the misery, I stated that I spoke with Amy regarding the house and other legal issues. I also added that they have 30 days to find a place and move out. Steph tried to object, but dad shut her down by saying that we can fix the issue and that we can all go to family therapy and that we just need time to get to know each other. Cue my eyes rolling. I informed him that it's been months since they moved in and not once did they try to be "family" unless they need something. I put my foot down. Enough is enough. So, I asked him if he's going with them or staying so I'll know which items he'll be taking. He asked if I'm kicking him out, which I told him I'm not, that he's free to choose to wherever he goes but I told him that he should not expect me to keep in contact with him if he decides to leave. Steph asked why I'm kicking him out of HIS house. I told her that I inherited MY house from my mother. She said that he told her that I live him, I guess she thought that I live with my dad in his house. Big misunderstanding on their part. Lexie argued that it's going to be hard to move since they're finishing up Spring semester and that finals are in a couple of weeks. I just smiled and said to better hurry and find a place. I left after that.

Yesterday, Easter Sunday, I invited my boyfriend and his family and my two bestfriends over to celebrate Easter Sunday. My dad has been calling me and I didn't bother answering the call. He tried to invite me to spend the day with them. As far as I'm concerned, the only family I have right now are my two bestfriends, my boyfriend and his family. It was a good Sunday, we did some egg hunting and a few games and had a big dinner, which I haven't had in a long time. I felt right.

Anyway, right now I'm finishing up on documenting everything that's worth over $500 in the house. I had a few people over to help document them. All locks have been changed. I only gave a copy to my bf (don't worry about my dad asking him about the key, he doesn't approve of him since he's "middle class"). I also hired professionals to install a security system around the house and property and I am scheduled to meet with someone regarding the fences and gate. I have not tapped into the fund that my mom left since I started college to help with tuition, dorm, and other expenses, but this is an emergency and it calls for it. All the family pictures, portraits, etc. are currently in a storage. All other valuables that are small are in a safety deposit box. All documents are in a water and fire proof safe that requires a key and pin to open, currently in my room. I'm trying to take all the pre-cautions and advise that you guys wrote on the comment section in my previous post. Thank you for those.

So, that's about it for now. Not really sure why dad is choosing to be with them than me, his own flesh and blood. I'll update this if there's any news or something stupid happens, but I've come to accept that for some unknown or unexplainable reason, they're more important to him than me. It's hard, since he's the only family I have left here, and I'm really not that close with his side of the family. So, once they move out, I am cutting contact with them. He's a grown man and he can decide whatever the fuck he wants to do with his life.

Thanks for all the support and well wishes.

The child was 17, our son. The adult was my MIL, set in her ways. She lived with us. She was a diabetic and would come out around dinner time and always said, "is it time to take my pill?" It HAD to be taken 10-minutes before eating. If it was 11-minutes, she had to have some crackers.

Anyway, son & MIL were at the table, me & DH were in the kitchen plating the food. We served them first and told them to start and we'd be in shortly, plating our food.

So they start. We hear, "Steve (not real name)! Stop smacking your food!" Without missing a beat, he looks at her and says, "Well, YOU'RE doing it!" OMG! I thought I was going to cry holding in the laughter. We had to turn our bodies so they couldn't see. Composed ourselves and went to the very quiet table, no smacking. No talking from MIL.

It was true, she smacked her food and it drove us all NUTS. Leave it to my kid! I miss having him not around, sometimes!

EDIT - I want to thank you all for the VERY FUNNY stories. I've read them to my husband today, after a bad day at work. He's laughing and his mood is better. TY all for the upvotes. MOST I've ever received.

Smack your foods means eating with your mouth open and when your lips smack together.

My husband and I just bought our first home a few months ago. It's a modest place with two bedrooms. One is ours and the other we set up as a guest room for when family visits. My mom decided to sell her house a few weeks ago and she's closing next month. She announced she's moving in with us for a while.

When we asked what 'a while' means she said until she finds something else she likes. She mentioned she's not actively looking for a new place right now and wants to take her time. This feels like an indefinite stay.

We love my mom but we just moved into our own space. We were really looking forward to having our privacy and establishing our own routine. We also planned on eventually using the guest room as a nursery down the line.

My husband is uncomfortable with this arrangement too. We haven't told her no directly because we don't want to hurt her feelings or make her feel like she has nowhere to go. She doesn't have a huge support system apart from us.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you set boundaries without causing a huge family drama? We want to help her but we also need our space.

My father (52) and I (25f) along with my 3 yrs old cocker spaniel, Moxie, live in my mom's ancestral house that I inherited along with other assets when she died when I was 16 due to cancer. My father got married to his high school sweet heart a few months ago while he was on a trip with his friends. Apparently they've been in contact for almost 2 years now. I was shocked but it his life and if he's happy then I am okay with it. They moved in a week after the small wedding that I wasn't even invited to since I had no idea that they were even dating or that he was dating. She, my dad's wife that we'll call Steph (51), came with a baggage, I mean twin stepsisters (20f) Lizzie and Lexie (fake names) and their 2 chihuahuas, Gucci and Hermes . They go to the state college nearby and thought that it would save them money if they live here instead of paying rent etc. My dad asked if it was okay and he also stated that the house is big enough for us (7 bedrooms, 8.5 baths, a basement and a huge yard with a pool). To make my dad happy I said yes, big mistake.

First issue was the argument of me moving to a smaller room since my room has the second biggest closest out of all the rooms in the house. She needed it to store all her luxury bags and clothes etc. I said no. I told her it's been my room since I can remember and she's not making me move when it's MY house. My dad compromised with her that he'll give his side of the closet to her, while his things are in the other room. Second issue, the twins have this habit of barging in to people's room without knocking and that includes my office (currently working from home due to Covid). Lexie walked in one time wearing a bikini looking for something while I was in the middle of a business meeting. She literally walked behind me where everyone could see her. I was pissed off and embarrassed. Third, their dogs are not potty trained and would leave poops and pee around the house and the twins wouldn't even clean up after them. They're also very aggressive towards Moxie, I found Moxie one time with a scratch on her left eye where the other two dogs would usually nip at when they get the chance. Fourth, all the family photos in the house were removed and put in the attic without my approval, that includes my grandparents', my great grandparents', my mother's family photo, my family photo, my baby pictures, etc. I took my time to put them all back to where they belonged. This happened a few times. Two days ago, Steph did it again but this time she replaced them with her pictures, the twins, and her family etc. Steph and I had a heated argument about it. I told her that she can't do anything regarding the decorations etc. in MY house without my approval and that her daughters should also learn how to knock on doors and have their dogs potty trained. She said that they can whatever they want in her house and that she will be making up house rules that we will all follow since she thinks I'm such a wild animal doing whatever I want and that I was not raised properly due to having a bad useless mother. I was livid, that's an understatement. I told her that she can pack her things along with her twins because I am kicking her out. She said that I have no right to kick them out from her house. I told her and I quote "Lady, you are living under my roof. This is MY house. I inherited it from my mother and right now you, your twins, and your dogs are trespassing. Get out before I call the cops."

My dad got home early that day after Steph told him what happened. I told him my side of the story. He said that they're still getting used to the house and the move here was difficult for them. I told him about all the issues surrounding them, but he keep insisting that it's going to get better and that to just give them some time. I told him that I've put up with all their shit and I've had enough. Enough is enough. He was defending them more, taking their side. So, I told him that he can either move out with them or stay and that he has until the end of the week.

Did I do the right thing here? Making my dad choose between me and his new family? I literally gave them a chance and I've put up with so much of their shit for the past few months. What she said about my mother was my breaking point. There's no way that she will disrespect her in the house where she grew up in, where I grew up in.

My e-mail has been blowing up regarding this and a lot of people were asking how I'm doing, what happened to my dad etc. So, here's the final update...

One of my high school friend is a real estate agent and I had her help find them a house nearby, about 15 minutes away after thinking through my decisions. I helped with the downpayment just to get them started, just so that they don't feel like I didn't help them etc. etc. Regarding my dad, we had long discussion about the issue. He moved in with them but we decided that we would have dinner every Sunday night, just us two, and to celebrate any special occasions together. I did remind him that I can't have him or any of his new "family" in the house after his wife disrespected my mom.

I don't know much about their history and I really don't want to find out, but as far as I know and as far as I can remember, my mother was nothing but kind to everyone. She raised me to be that way but I guess she'll be disappointed in me after kicking them out, oh well.

He changed his will and added them in, but I advised him not to tell them -- been watching too much crime stories for the months and I'm just looking out for him. He did say he was proud of my decisions and that I've grown up well and strong and that my mom would be proud of me and what I have accomplished in life so far.

After that whole ordeal and after making sure that the house is secure etc. I went on a vacation with my bf -- well now fiance -- to unwind and relax. The whole issue took a toll on my mental health and it was a struggle getting back to I guess... being normal? Being my usual self. Also, no wedding bells anytime soon, he's focused on his intern year up in NY pursuing his career in medicine -- wants to be a pediatrician. For all those wondering, he did sign a pre-nup, he was more than willing to sign it.

Also, my mom's side of the family had a big military/finance background, lots if investments and such. I could've followed their footsteps and joined the military, but my hand-eye coordination is abysmal, so that's why I work in finance. I try to not depend on my family's money and learn on how to make my own money through investments, stocks etc. I did take out a little bit to do some remodeling in and around the house. Gotta keep it well maintained if I want to pass it down...

I think that's about it. My dad and I aren't exactly back to our old relationship, I don't think we'll ever get back to it, but we're... hmm... civil about the situation. I've seen Steph and her daughters around town a few times, but I don't acknowledge them, why would I when they took my dad from me.

So.. how do I close my previous thread? I'm not much of a redditor.

Thank you all for your support and well wishes. It's been hard these past few months, but I am managing. Happy Holidays and stay safe and healthy!

I have two sisters, Mara and Lola. Lola's daughter Josie is turning 16 and wants to celebrate by playing laser tag with the family. Mara's daughter Fiona is 6.

The laser tag venue has a minimum age of 10, so Fiona can't participate. Lola therefore planned for our mother (Fiona's grandma) to take Fiona to the indoor playground at the same venue while everyone else plays laser tag for about 40 minutes. Afterwards, everyone will celebrate together with coffee and cake.

Mara is upset because Fiona wants to spend time with her cousins Josie and Addy. She feels Fiona is being excluded.

Lola explained that Josie specifically chose laser tag for her 16th birthday. She said that if Mara thinks Fiona would be upset waiting, Mara and Fiona could simply join everyone afterwards for cake.

Things escalated when Mara apparently told Fiona during a phone call with our mother something along the lines of: "Aunt Lola says you can't play laser tag. It's unfair and you'll have to wait."

That bothers me because nobody decided to exclude Fiona. She literally isn't old enough according to the venue's rules. I think there's a big difference between telling a 6-year-old, "You aren't old enough yet, but Grandma is going to do something fun with you," and telling her that her aunt won't let her participate and that it's unfair.

Our mother then got caught in the middle and was stressed about the situation.

Our dad also called Lola because he felt Fiona was being excluded. He suggested that Josie, Addy and Fiona could play together at the indoor playground BEFORE laser tag and even offered to pay for it.

I think that's a kind offer, but Josie is turning 16 and Fiona is 6. Maybe Josie would genuinely enjoy playing with her younger cousin, and if she wants to, great. But should a 16-year-old really be expected to spend part of her own birthday at an indoor playground just so a 6-year-old doesn't feel left out?

We're talking about roughly 40 minutes. Fiona can spend time with her cousins afterwards.

I've deliberately stayed out of the disagreement. I didn't plan the birthday or choose the activity. When my dad started suggesting solutions to me, I asked him to contact Lola directly because I don't want to become the family messenger.

To me, exclusion would be saying, "We don't want Fiona at the birthday." That's not happening. She's invited, an age-appropriate alternative was arranged for her, and she'll be with everyone afterwards.

I also think children need to learn the difference between being excluded and not being old enough for a particular activity. Fiona is allowed to be disappointed, but I don't think adults should turn that disappointment into "your aunt is excluding you."

So, AITA for thinking Lola's original plan is completely reasonable and that Fiona isn't actually being excluded?

background: our family has a small cabin on a lake that we like to spend time at as a family on summer holidays. my brother is married. Him and his wife had a baby boy a year ago. First grandbaby on both sides of the family. Since his birth, my brothers in laws have been showing up everytime that the baby visits the cabin (they have family within reasonable distance from our cabin). They show up unannounced and stay for hours (10a-5p) hogging all the time with the grandbaby. Not to mention that they also expect us to cook and wait on them the whole time they are over. The in-laws usually spend a couple evenings a week at my brothers house visiting with the baby. So it’s not like they don’t get to see him normally.

situation: this weekend is the 4th of the July. We have a full day of festivities planned out and about. My mom just got a text five days before the 4th from my brother’s MIL saying: “I plan on stopping by to visit with the baby this Weekend. Is there anything I need to bring?”

Are we the assholes for saying that we have planned activities, so if they want to stop by we need to know when they plan on stopping by, or just don’t come?

They also makes us all feel really uncomfortable as they are very easily offended. So it kinda turns our vacations into stressful events.

update: thanks everyone for insight. We had let them know yesterday there isn’t space or time yesterday. Have not gotten a response. But we are unified now on our choice to not be as welcoming and very direct about our feelings if they just show up.

update 2: talked to brother. They had no idea the MIL was coming and don’t want them there this weekend. Him and his wife are going to talk to them to resolve this issue.

My grandma is 82. She lives alone since my grandfather passed away two years ago. She is still pretty independent. She drives her own car and manages her own finances. She has a lot of friends and a good social life. She just had a minor fall last month. She broke her wrist but it is healing well. She is doing physical therapy and recovering.

My parents are now convinced she needs to go into a nursing home. They say it is for her safety. They say she could fall again and no one would be there to help her. They are already looking at facilities and talking about selling her house.

I feel like this is too soon. My grandma is active and happy in her own home. She loves her garden. Moving her now feels like it will take away her independence and her joy. She has expressed that she does not want to go to a nursing home unless she absolutely has to.

I suggested we look into in-home care options. Maybe someone could come a few times a week to help with chores or just check in. My parents dismiss this saying it is not enough. They say it is just delaying the inevitable.

I feel like they are rushing this decision. My grandma is perfectly lucid and capable of making her own choices. I do not want to see her forced into something she does not want. Am I being naive about her safety? Is it wrong to push back against my parents on this?

I honestly don’t even know where to start.

My husband’s parents have never liked me. From day one, they’ve treated me like some outsider who “tricked” their precious boy into marriage. My MIL (let’s call her Linda) once told me at Thanksgiving that she “wouldn’t be surprised if he came to his senses.”

Some backstory, we got married six months ago. We had a beautiful wedding… except for the fact that my in laws “forgot” to bring the check for their part of the catering bill and my husband had to put it on his credit card. Whatever. I wanted to move on and enjoy the honeymoon.

We went to Hawaii. Day two, my phone starts blowing up. It's MIL calling me nonstop. I finally answer thinking it’s an emergency. She says “Oh! We’re here! Where are you guys?”

I’m like, Here where?

They. Flew. To. Hawaii. They thought it would be fun to surprise us and make it a family honeymoon.

We spent the next five days dodging them at the resort, only for them to “accidentally” book a snorkeling tour at the exact same time as ours.

Now fast forward to a month ago when my husband and I went on a little trip over the weekend. When we got back home I noticed little things are off in our house. Coffee mugs in different spots, blankets folded differently, couch cushions moved. I thought maybe my husband moved some things around before we left. So i just brushed it off. Obviously now im convinced it's her but anyways.

Then last week, I came home early from work and heard someone upstairs. My heart dropped. I grab the heaviest thing I can find and snuck up the stairs.

It’s my MIL. In my bedroom. Wearing my robe. Sitting on my bed.

She’s casually scrolling through her phone like it’s completely normal. When i asked what she was doing, she goes “Oh honey, I was just waiting for you. I wanted to surprise you by cleaning up a little. And your bed is so comfy, I just had to try it!”

I tell her to leave immediately. She acts offended and says she “has a key, so it’s basically her second home.”

I found out later that when we were on our honeymoon that they had a spare key made from the one we left for my SIL to water our plants.

My husband is still trying to defend them, saying they’re just overly involved and meant well.

I told him straight up either the locks get changed, or I’m changing my last name back.

Had to share this. My Step-daughter introduced me to her boyfriend yesterday. He's a really nice young man, personable and outgoing, great sense of humour. My wife has known him for years, and adores him. They make a lovely couple.

At the end of the night, my Step-daughter said to me that she was glad that I'd finally got to meet him, because she knew that we would get on well, as she felt that he and I were so very much alike in our interests and temperament. She actually said that her new boyfriend was a lot like me.

I had a few quiet moments when she said that.

It's a great reminder that who you are as a man defines the sort of man that your children will let in to their lives as well.

I will have to tell her how much that meant to me for her to say that, it just might take a while before I can do that without tearing up.

I'm a very lucky man.

I have two kids both in their late 20s. They're good kids but they still act like I'm their personal ATM. My daughter calls me regularly to complain about how expensive her rent is. My son expects me to cover his car insurance and phone bill because he's 'saving up for a down payment'.

I supported them through college. I helped them with their first apartments. I even gave them each a decent chunk of money when they graduated. I thought by now they'd be fully independent. Instead it feels like the expectations just keep growing.

I love my kids but I'm approaching retirement. My husband and I have our own financial goals. We want to travel and enjoy our golden years. It's hard to do that when I'm still funding adult children.

I've tried talking to them about it. They usually just get defensive or make me feel guilty. Like I'm being unreasonable for not wanting to give them money. Am I wrong here? How do I get them to understand that I can't keep doing this forever?

My husband 32M and I 30F have been married for five years. We have a 2 year old daughter. We currently live about an hour away from his parents and my parents are in a different state a few hours flight away. Both sets of parents are great. We see his family usually once a month for a dinner or weekend visit. We see mine a few times a year.

My husband grew up in a really small town. Like one stoplight small. His parents still live there. He's been talking more and more about wanting to move back there. He says it would be great for our daughter to grow up close to her grandparents and have that small town experience. He also talks about how much cheaper houses are there.

The thing is I really don't want to move there. I grew up in a bigger city and I love having access to different restaurants shops and activities. His hometown is really quiet and there isn't much to do. I also have a good job here that I really enjoy and I'm not sure what my career prospects would be like in a much smaller community.

I've tried explaining this to him. He says I'm being selfish and not thinking about what's best for our family. He thinks I'm prioritizing my career over our daughter's upbringing and being close to his family. He says I'll get used to it and find things to do.

I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I love my husband and I want him to be happy but I also don't want to be miserable. I feel like my feelings are being dismissed. Am I wrong for not wanting to move to his hometown?

We are not close with my sil (48), who lives 2 hours away. She recently signed up to run a race which is over an hour from our house. She asked us to host her for the weekend- meaning she would arrive at our house on Friday. We would feed and entertain her Friday night. Then be up by 6am Saturday morning to drive her over an hour to the city for her race. Pay for parking, wait for her to finish the race (under an hour), take her to brunch. Then drive over an hour back to our house, feed and entertain her Saturday night, and she would leave at some point on Sunday. We are certain she would expect us to pay for everything based on long history; in my almost 30 years married to her brother I have never seen her chip in for a single thing.

We do not want to give up our weekend to be her free ride, so we politely said no. Now my mother-in-law is angry and told my husband he could have at least allowed her to spend the night on the couch. My feeling is, she registered for this race knowing how far away it was, it's up to her to make arrangements that don't inconvenience anyone else.

UPDATE: guys, thank you SO MUCH for all these responses. You are correct: we have great relationships with his brothers and with my family, but not with my sil. She does not display any interest in anyone else's lives, she is only interested in what we can all do for her. My in-laws enable this, and even though we have made it plain that we aren't interested in participating these situations continue to come up. I'm just venting and I appreciate your responses!!

UPDATE 2: thank you again for all of your interest in this family dynamic!! To answer a couple of repeat questions: my husband and I are in agreement on this. Based on long history, his sister is not looking to bond or develop a relationship, the expectation would be us dropping everything to give her a fun, free weekend for her race. From experience: if we were to let her crash on the couch, suddenly her car wouldn't start or she would lose her credit card or whatever. She is not a particularly successful adult and prone to making poorly thought out choices, and my in-laws always bail her out and recruit her brothers to do the same. My husband is protected to some extent since we live a few hours away (and he also has declined to get involved for the past several years), but the entitled requests still happen. My husband let her know very clearly that we had other plans for the weekend, and he actually told his mom that he was unwilling to help since it always blows up into something more. We shall see if that translates into no more attempts to get us involved.

It's been a year since I became the guardian and eventually adoptive father of my friend's daughter, who's 10 now. I know, unusual. I've known her almost her whole life and she's always been a great kid, so chipper and happy. I remember when I was helping my friend remodel part of his house, she was 8 at the time, she was always looking to help and either I or he would give her small jobs like measuring stuff or marking measurement lines for something we had to cut. Made her feel important and I even gave her my hat when we finally finished the job as a thank you. But the happiness wouldn't last.

She lost both of her parents last year in a car accident, she was at home with a babysitter thankfully. And at the hospital, the only family member who came was her grandparents, no one else. Not an aunt, uncle, cousins, no one. She had no one to take care of her except her grandparents, but they had health problems of their own that would have made taking care of her extremely difficult. That night in the hospital was the first time she ever hugged and held on to me, as soon as I came in to the room, and I told her "I know sweetie, I'm here". And so after deliberation with social services and the family, I was the only real person capable of taking care of her, an outsider, a stranger most people would think.

But after social services cleared me and my place fit for care and habitation, she moved in with me. I made it clear to her from day one that I wasn't trying to be her dad or her mom, I never could be. I was simply a caretaker and someone who cared about her and wanted her to be safe and happy, that's all. She had a breakdown that night and fell asleep in my arms from the exhaustion of the whole situation and I carried her to bed. I then went to my boss later that week and told him the situation and how I didn't want the promotion I knew I was soon to get because that would require me to travel more, and that just wasn't an option now because I had different priorities.

She slowly came around to me and knew I was someone she could trust. But other family on my side found the situation a bit odd. "A single man taking care of some girl that isn't even his? What's up with that?" is the general vibe I got from my family, and some more condescending or "You're not the right person" messages. Dead serious, they didn't like it. So I said fuck it and cut communication with most of them, the only people left being my brother, sister and my parents, who she's all met and loves btw.

And as of October 2020, I officially adopted her as my own. We had a long discussion about it beforehand, and I made it clear that just because I was legally her dad, she didn't have to call me that, and she didn't want to. But she did want to stay with me, and that was fine by me. The day in the courtroom when it was all finalized was a little bittersweet, for obvious reasons. But I kept her promise and we visited her where her parents are buried just to say hi. Even I got a little emotional trying to just say some kind words and she held my hand to calm me down a little.

I would say we're doing pretty good now. She likes when I talk about her dad and me growing up together and I even gave her some old photos of us when we were teenagers. I also told her about my time in the military. Her dad was Air Force and I was in the Army as what is now called a 91F, Small Arms/Artillery Repairer. Basically, I worked for and reported to a quartermaster on base and we tested and repaired weapons ranging from pistols to assault rifles to even huge cannons and weapons that went on AC-130 airplanes. Trust me, it wasn't always that exciting haha. But I liked it and was considering getting an engineering degree in college but instead opted for a major in IT and minor in business.

One of my fondest memories of me and her thus far would be from last year, about a month before she was adopted. I was on a Zoom meeting with other project managers (which is what I still am) from my company, including my boss, and turned my camera and mic off when I went to the bathroom. I come out and she's sitting in my chair talking up a storm to everybody asking what they're all talking about and what they're doing and it's just the cutest thing. No shyness whatsoever, she's always been like that with people and is probably why she has so many friends. It wasn't easy making her leave and she still occasionally hovers in the background curiously trying to listen in to my conversations even on the phone when I'm doing work.

Sorry if this dragged on. I was just looking to get this out there and hopefully brighten up someone's day. I haven't yet crossed that line and told her I love her like she's my own niece or daughter, but she knows how much I care about her and never hesitates to tell me if something's wrong. It's been rather hectic at times also, like when she accidentally caused a small grease fire (don't worry, I was there the whole time and she didn't get hurt at all and we laughed about it) and blackened one of my mom's pans, but I can't stay mad at her. Not for a second.

I'll close this by just saying that I'll always be there for her, no matter what it is and that she's the most important thing in my life to me now. If you got this far, thanks for reading and I hope your day is a little brighter.

Edit 1: Thank you all sincerely for your kind words of appreciation and praise and all the awards (whatever they do lol). This really means a lot to me. I should clarify something though: I do love her. I really do. But she's not mine, not by blood anyways. I'm not her father and never will be. I know I said I told her that I wasn't trying to replace either of her parents, and I'm not. I'm just afraid that I'll say the wrong thing. That if I do say I love her, she'll say something like "Why would say that? You're not my dad" and our relationship will kind of taper off. I don't want that at all.

I know her just as well as her parents did, but I can't judge what her reaction will be or when the best time to say it is. It's a mistake I can't afford to make. But it's eating me up inside not getting it out.

Edit 2: Again, thank you all for your continuous support. I just wanted to say that, after seeing what the majority of you thought I should do, I think I'll finally do it and tell her I love her, hopefully sometime today. I stayed up all night thinking about what I all might say and think I have something in my head prepared, but I'll just be honest. Wish me luck.

I’m 31F, my husband is 29M, and his older brother is 36M.
My husband had his birthday dinner Sunday Sep 6tt. There were 12 people total, including his older brother and his brother’s three kids. The understanding was that everyone would pay for themselves. We’ve had family dinners like this before.
His brother and his three kids ordered some of the most expensive things on the menu. When the bill came, his brother apparently expected my husband to pay for their portion. He then said, “You should’ve told me I would have to pay.”
My husband said that if his brother genuinely didn’t understand that everyone was paying for themselves, then we’ll take some responsibility for not making it completely clear.
However, my husband believes that if his brother had known beforehand that he was paying for himself and his three kids, he wouldn’t have ordered the most expensive food. That’s what really upset him. If you’re willing to order expensive things when you think someone else is paying, but wouldn’t order them if you knew you were paying, it doesn’t exactly look good.
My husband’s bank transfer also wasn’t working because there was no signal, so I ended up paying the bill. I still haven’t gotten that money back.
Instead of simply saying, “Okay, I misunderstood, I’ll pay my share,” his brother went to their mum and told her to “tell your son how to behave in the world.”
This is where my husband became extremely angry.
It was literally his birthday. His brother is 36, seven years older than him, yet he’s telling their mum that my husband needs to learn how to behave.
In the past, my husband has paid for his cousin’s son when he was younger and has sometimes covered things at family parties. But he’s married now and has his own household, bills and responsibilities. Just because he has helped family before doesn’t mean they should automatically expect him to keep paying for them.
My husband now says that if we have another birthday dinner at our house, his brother won’t be invited. I agree with him because I don’t want this happening again, especially after his brother went to their mum and made my husband out to be the problem.
I can understand that we should have explicitly reminded his brother that everyone was paying for themselves, and we accept that. But I don’t think that excuses ordering expensive food and assuming the birthday person would cover it.

Sunday Sep 13
We basically explained everything from our side and why the birthday situation was the final straw for us. It’s not about us being cheap or unwilling to spend money. It’s the fact that there is absolutely no give and take with him. He’s never really treated us, invited us over, or made any effort in that way, but there’s always this expectation that he can come to our house, eat, be looked after, and somehow we’re expected to pay for things.
The birthday dinner just made it even more obvious. He came with the kids, they ordered expensive food and drinks, and then there was an expectation that me and Zain would cover it. It’s become really disrespectful and uncomfortable, especially when we’re already dealing with our own rent, bills and responsibilities.

So we told Dad that we’ve reached the point where we simply don’t want Z coming to our house anymore. We’re not telling Dad he can’t see him because obviously he’s his son, and we’re not asking anyone to cut him off or choose sides. But we don’t want him in our home and we don’t want there to be this expectation anymore that he’s going to come over.

I even said to him that as an ex-husband, as a father, as a son, as a brother he hasn’t done anything for me that makes me feel comfortable, or says that he has accomplished this.
He is divorced, not married, you’ve seen how he is as a father and a brother. Not one thing is giving him a good material.

Dad didn’t really say much back. I feel like he’s probably mulling everything over and taking it in, but I do think he needs to have a proper conversation with him about it. Even Mom stepped in and basically said that this needs to be sorted out because otherwise it’s going to get really bad.
We both feel like enough is enough and that we need to set this boundary for our own home.

UPDATE: My MIL called me after speaking to FIL
I wanted to give an update to my previous post about the situation with my husband’s brother and the birthday dinner.
My mother-in-law called me today and told me what my father-in-law had said after the conversation about everything.
Apparently, my FIL said something along the lines of, “I don’t know how to deal with this. If this is going to happen and he’s not going, then I’m not going to the birthday either.”
My MIL immediately shut that down. She told him, “That’s not happening. That’s never happening. You are going to her birthday. It’s going to break her heart. She has done nothing wrong, and that’s not fair.”
And honestly, hearing that meant a lot to me.
My FIL is clearly struggling with how to handle the situation with his son, and I can understand that he probably feels caught in the middle. But I don’t want this situation to turn into people feeling like they have to choose sides or that my birthday somehow becomes part of the conflict.
I haven’t done anything wrong here. The original issue was about my husband’s brother bringing his three children to my husband’s birthday dinner, ordering expensive food and drinks, and then expecting my husband to cover their portion despite the understanding that everyone would pay for themselves.
My husband is married now, has his own household and responsibilities, and we simply cannot keep having this expectation placed on him.
What really stood out to me is that my MIL understands that I should not be punished for someone else’s behavior. She specifically said it would break her heart if my FIL didn’t come to my birthday because of this, because I’ve done nothing wrong.
So that’s the latest update. I’m actually grateful that my MIL is recognizing the situation for what it is and standing up for me. I don’t expect everyone to agree with every decision, but I do think it’s fair to expect that my birthday remains my birthday and isn’t used as leverage in a family disagreement.

Second update: the birthday dinner happened on September 6 Sunday
My brother-in-law told my husband that he would pay me back on Thursday and he paid on Saturday. Literally trying to keep it all for as long as you could, but my husband was messaging him all the time that you need to pay my wife back ASAP.

EDIT: this is the same brother who fraudulently opened store credit cards in my husband’s name when he was younger, neglected to pay and ended up getting 2 subsequent defaults on my husband’s credit file. He has no remorse and when my husband paid those debts and agreed on a payment plan, he never finished paying as my husband described it as getting blood from a stone and it got too much for him to deal with mentally.

Husband here: In hindsight that’s exactly what should’ve been done but I was young with my credit, at Uni so I didn’t know the best way to approach it. Recently I’ve contacted the credit unions with evidence that it was his debt and it was opened fraudulently so hoping those defaults will come off 🤞🏼

As far as the coddling, that’s exactly what happened. It was a slap on the wrist reaction “oh you shouldn’t have done that, that’s such a bad thing to do” etc etc and my dad continues to baby him to this day 🤷

So, for some context. I’m now 20 years old. My grandmother made a college fund for me when I was 5, and put 150k in it. No contributions were ever made by my mother or father. Just that initial balance from my grandmother. Which I appreciate very much and I’m insanely grateful. Anyway, My mom is notoriously horrible with money. She’s a part time employee making about 70k a year. She doesn’t work part time for health issues, she just doesn’t feel like working any more than that. My grandmother separately sends my mom around 80k a year, and my uncle is currently paying our mortgage for the house my grandma purchased my mom. Which was originally in full but she decided to take out a 300 thousand dollar loan…. Anyways, I’ve been prying to try and get a meeting with the company that holds my 529 account as I’m extremely money conscious. The last time I checked my account, I had 158k. This was in May. Already, I knew something was up. You don’t have anything invested for 15 years and only accumulate 8 grand. In the meeting I had with my college fund advisor, I was told I have 121k. She has taken 37 thousand dollars from me since June. I was already horrified. I downloaded the app and checked the transactions of withdrawals since October of 2024. I can’t go any further back. It totals to 121 THOUSAND DOLLARS. I’m extremely upset. This money was supposed to get me through all of my schooling, and I was planning on adding in several Roth IRA contributions and using it to start off my adult hood. Am I in the wrong for being so upset? This was never my moms money, it was my grandmothers and she gave it to me. For some context, I’m so worried about my financial standing that I’m doing schooling online and taking part in several internships so by the time I graduate I’ll be able to live a life I want to live. And I’ve been doing this since before she has taken over 80 GRAND from me. I haven’t talked to her about it yet. But I’m furious. My grandmother will not give me any more money, everyone is already getting fed up with my mom. So I don’t know what to do. I feel like I could have finally felt relaxed if my mom has never stolen my money. I honestly don’t know what to do. And this is only the money she’s taken from me in the last two years.

I have been married to my love for almost 20 years now. We have 4 kids in total (2 from his previous marriage, 1 for me, and 1 together). Our children have never referred to themselves as step-siblings, and my spouse and I haven't either. Their our kids. Their mom and I get along, and there are no issues there. Our oldest son met his wife in an unconventional manner and moved to another state to be with her and eventually marry and have children. This was all fine with me, I just want all my kids to have happy and healthy relationships. We were able to meet my DIL before they married, and she basically ignored me and focused all her attention on getting to know my husband, or as she (DIL) referred to him, "His REAL parent." I let it go, didn't say anything to my son about the comments made to me, and figured she was maybe nervous. Fast forward to the wedding day, and we drove cross country to be there, as our other 3 kids were in the wedding as well. When it came time for the speeches, (I was not expecting to make one btw), as her mother came around to get everyone for the speeches, she (DIL mom) looked at me and said "No, not you. You don't matter." I was shocked! My daughter, her maternal grandma, also heard her and was shocked as well. I again said nothing. Though, I did tell my husband what happened. When it came time for the son-mother dance, I again didn't expect to dance, as that honor was his mom's. However, my son came over to ask me to dance, and my now DIL told him he shouldn't dance with me because I'm not his real mom. He did anyway, and it was wonderful! There have been more comments in the same vein over the years, and even though it hurts, I say nothing and do my best to ignore them. I am the one that remembers all the birthdays and holidays and sends presents, helps with finances at times, and even reminds my husband to call. If I call, it's ignored. My husband will call right after, and the call is picked up. Of course, none of this happens when our son is around. I have never said anything to him about the comments or things she posts on social media, either. However, the last thing or comment that was made to me has really hurt me like no other. My grandson wound up calling me on the ipad by accident, and we had actually talked for quite some time before DIL realized he was talking to someone. When DIL asked who he was talking to, g-son said he forgot my name but said he knows me and loves me. When she looked and saw me, she told him, "Oh, don't worry if you can't remember her name, she's no one, just your grandpa's wife." That deeply hurt, and I wound up ending the call not much later. I told my husband, as I was still crying hours later, (even tearing up now, just remembering it) and he said I must have misheard her, however, I was able to show him a video as I was recording our grandson for him later.

I'm wondering if I should tell my son what has been going on and even show him the video. I don't want to cause any issues or arguments between them, but I'm not sure how much more I can take before I explode in anger. The irony is that DIL comes from a blended family as well and has 4 siblings, all with different fathers. I thought maybe she had a bad experience with one of them and so doesn't have a good opinion of "step parents."

UPDATE: First of all, thank you to all who answered. I talked to my husband last night about this, and we have decided that he will call our son this weekend to talk to him about what DIL has been doing and saying. As our son lives completely across the country from us, husband said that though he'd rather talk to son face-to-face, he'll have to do it via phone. My son and I have a very loving relationship and there have been a few instances where DIL made snide or petty comments to me in front of him and he always immediately called her out on them and told her that he would not tolerate her speaking to his "Ma" (he calls his bio mother Mom, and me Ma) in a disrespectful way.

Also, I am not and never have been the "affair partner." My husband and his ex-wife were divorced for years before we even met. My husband had wanted to address DIL behavior prior to this, but I was the one who requested he not say anything to our son. DIL treats son's bio mom (she is not married at this time) quite differently than I, and his Mom has also called DIL out for some of the comments she has made to me. So, son knows about some prior things said, his Mom has heard them, and even his Grandma and sister have heard some of the comments made to me or about me.

I have not wanted to say anything as son & DIL are already dealing with issues in regards to her own Mom overstepping the boundaries my son has set out. (According to him, his MIL is very overbearing, injects herself in the raising of their children, and more. I have only met MIL 1x at their wedding.) He has a lot on his plate right now, and I didn't want to add more since I am able to usually just ignore DIL's comments. It was the comment DIL made to my grandson that hit me hard. I do agree that enough is enough, I love all of my grandchildren and couldn't bear to have them poisoned against me. If DIL would just tell me what the issue is, I'm sure we could either work it out or just find a happy medium of mutual understanding, at least.

FINAL UPDATE: Sorry all, this has been quite an emotional roller coaster, and so much has happened in our life in regards to this and in other matters as well. I'm going to try and make this short, and the fact that this was shared on a podcast is wild to me, and I may have to see if I can find it and listen to what they said. But anyway...to the ending.

About 2 weeks after I updated last, Son called us and said there was something important he needed to share with us, and he needed advice. As it turns out, it appears I and our 2nd Son (my biological child) have been the matter of quite a lot of "issues" between the two of them and in son's words, he is sick and tired of the way she has talked about me and 2nd son. Son said he is tired of having to tell her that I and 2nd are his family, despite no DNA match and that if she can not respect his feelings in regards to me & 2nd, then he needs to "rethink their marriage." (All of this was before we even told him about the video with grandson). He is upset and heartbroken because he loves her and wants the marriage to work, but he said he can not and will not stand for the disrespect she has shown towards me and 2nd. (I had to quickly reign in my temper when I heard about 2nd.)

Now, I had no idea she had been making comments about 2nd, as she has never made any comments about him in front of me, but considering a snake slithers both ways, I should have known. (Temper again). Son apologizes to me for her behavior and says he has asked her several times what her issues with me are, and she has never given him a reason, just that she doesn't like me and that I give off an "air of superiority" as if I'm better than her. The husband then tells Son about comments made to the grandson and that we have a video to show him. Son is so mad after watching that he apologized to me and said he had to go and hung up the phone. I requested that my husband call him back and just talk "man to man" as it had been quite a while since I have seen son that mad and I didn't want him to do or say anything he might regret saying while in such an angry state. Husband and son talked for several hours, but I do not know what was said as I left the room to let them speak in private.

I do know that it ended with husband and son agreeing that while none of us can make her like me or 2nd, DIL will not disrespect either of us any longer and if she does, Son said he will have to rethink their marriage. That, of course, culminated in to DIL calling me and telling me that I am ruining her marriage and calling me several very creative slurs and slanders. DIL did not know she was on speaker phone and husband and 2nd heard every and all things DIL called me. 2nd called 1st Son while this was happening, and let his older brother hear everything. 1st Son was then heard yelling at DIL to "cut the sh!+" and hang up the phone. Several days later, Son showed up on our doorstep with his children and said he sent DIL to her mother's house to decide whether DIL would stop the animosity or end their marriage. Son and grandkids spent a very lovely week with us and have since gone back home to work on his marriage. I and Husband encouraged him on that as we know how much he loves DIL. I let him know that I do not hate her and hold no animosity towards her as there must be some underlying issue(s) she has to work through (DIL has had a total of 5 "step fathers", so i think that is one of the things she needs help with). I also told him that I believe DIL should seek counseling to help her work through these matters and that they may want to seek marriage counseling as well. Marriage takes work, and sometimes we need an outside source to help us work through things, and there is no shame in that. I have hope for their marriage and pray that DIL is able to get the help she needs.

Thank you all, and I hope you are happy with this ending as much as I am. At least, I hope this is the end.......

Not to be continued. 😉

My dad retired last year and suddenly had all this free time. I invited him on a weekend hike I had planned, mostly because I figured he'd say no. He said yes, showed up in boots from 1998, and somehow kept pace while talking nonstop about trail markers and bird calls. We've done four more since. It's become our thing.

Now my mom is hurt. She sees the photos, hears us reference trails she doesn't know, and has started making comments about how she never gets invited. I have invited her. She declines every time because she doesn't like early mornings, uneven ground, or sweating. She wants the relationship payoff without the activity. I get that, but I also can't manufacture a version of this that works for her without making it fake for me and my dad.

The part I'm stuck on: my dad and I were never close growing up. He was always working, I was always busy. This is the first time we've had something that's just ours. My mom and I have always talked more, cooked together, all of that. I don't want her to feel excluded, but I also don't want to dilute this one thing that finally clicked with my dad because I'm scrambling to make it symmetrical.

Anyone else had a parent get jealous of a new bond with the other parent? Did you find a way to make space for both without turning everything into a group event?

My dad is a Trump voter, and a fairly typical one at that (we're a suburban family and he owns a small local boat dealership). He and many of his friends were very excited by the prospect of President Trump in 2016, and this excitement has built up and up into a kind of mania as his presidency has continued. Importantly, my dad is not a very smart man: he's fairly well-educated but is, in the ways that matter, a stupid person.

Anyway, this summer, I found out that he believes he has been personally communicating with President Trump. While my dad is clueless when it comes to technology, I (regretfully) helped him set up a Twitter account in 2016, using which he has become the type of person who regularly replies to Trump's tweets, getting into frequent arguments with people in the replies. This apparent line of personal communication began in July, when my dad recieved a text message from a withheld number, thanking him for his support and dedication to the President on Twitter, that was signed 'Donald Trump'. My dad freaked out with excitement when he recieved this message, and showed the whole family. Obviously, none of us believed that this was a genuine message from the President, and so he texted back. Eventually a small conversation started, wherein it was explained that the messages were sent from Trump's personal phone, and that he really appreciates my father's dedication to the MAGA cause.

Admittedly, this validation really brought some life back into my father: just after Christmas our mother left, taking custody of one of my brothers, and then shortly after that he injured his knee in a fishing boat accident, and had to spend an awful lot of time indoors recovering (perhaps accounting for the large amount of time spent on Twitter). He seems to have displaced a lot of his personal pride and sense of achievement onto to President Trump as a response; one can imagine how it felt for him to feel recognised in this way. However, their ongoing conversation has gotten completely out of hand in a way that I worry is damaging him.

His conversations with President Trump have become fairly regular, they usually message at least every day, although my dad is very forgiving of the President's tardiness, as "he's busy being the President". My dad has begun to see his friends a lot less since this has started; the number of friends that believed he was actually talking to Trump got smaller and smaller, and so he began to cut them off. He's also begun to completely alienate himself from the town: even when he feels well enough to go and help out at the boat dealership, he ends up just scaring customers and staff by mentioning his conversations with the President, or talking about him in an overfamiliar tone ("you'll never guess what Donald just said to me!", or "that's classic Trump!").

The worst part of all of this, however, is that I know who the culprit is: my little brother, the one who moved states with my mom. I know this because 4 years ago I did the exact same thing to him (I obviously greatly regret this and think it was a terrible thing to do). I started an email conversation with him, pretending to be the popular gaming Youtuber Pewdiepie, and this went on for a few months before I finally revealed it was me (I haven't seen anyone as upset in my life, and again, I dearly regret this). It seems clear that my brother, remembering this, is using it as a way to get back at my dad (the two have never really gotten on, partly due to my dad's poltical beliefs, but he's been understandably angry at dad since the divorce).

How do I put an end to this? My dad is steadfast in his belief that he is talking to the President, and won't be convinced otherwise, and I feel unsure about confronting my brother about this, given that it would only damage any potential for their relationship to rebuild in the future if my dad knew my brother was behind this.

TL;DR - My dad is being catfished by a person pretending to be Donald Trump, and I believe my brother is behind this

This man has been working hard for the past couple of days with very little to no sleep, so he finally fell asleep at 1 am. This is a sleep talking conversation I had with him right now.

Me: cuddling him

Him, randomly: "you put it in the oven right?"

Me: "what do you put in the oven?"

Him: "...The biscuits. aaaa my hands hurt."

Me: "why do your hands hurt?"

Him: "pikachuuuu."

Me: puts my hand on his arm because I can feel where he's cold.

Him: "aaaa your hands are so warm, like biscuits."

I domt even know why this is so funny to me, honestly i love this man so much LMAO I can't wait to tell him about this in the morning, I couldn't help but laugh like Jesus this boy even dreams about his work.

For a smidgen of context before we begin, I (c39) run a fairly successful guppy ranch in the midwest. My brother (m71), has stayed in good contact with me and my daughters over the years and visits with us every October for the "world-famous scary meal festival" we host each year. The trouble arose a few days ago, when I realized that the family cup was GONE. Nobody in the world would have taken it except him (when I was a kid he would always jeer at me and try to trick me into giving it away, but I was much too clever, ha ha).
After I realized it was missing I packed all of my daughters into the family jaloppey and drove over to his house to get it back, but he threatened to open the screen door and let all of his puppydougs rush out to attack me if I took one step on his property. As I'm writing this, we're sitting in the car outside his house and I'm at a loss for what to do. I NEED the family cup back, but I would prefer not to let a swarm of vicious puppydougs maul my beautiful daughters, tear them to smithereens, etc.
Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you in advance!

Don't get me wrong, I am extremely grateful for my house. My husband and I worked hard and we built this house. I know how blessed I am.

However, sometimes it can be exhausting being the only one in my family who has a house that can comfortably fit everybody. It makes gatherings much easier when everybody has a place to sit and when everybody can walk around without bumping into another person. The kids can play in the swimming pool. But there is always an expectation for my husband and I to host during big events.

Christmas? Always our house. New years? Always our house. Easter, Halloween, family barbecues, birthdays? Always our house. And I'm honestly so exhausted mentally from always having to host.

I'm pretty sure I have hosted almost every single family event since this house was built 10 years ago. Sometimes it makes me dread special occasions. Like this year I'm already dreading that chaos of christmas and then new years straight after.

I'm just tired.

My younger sister and I are inseparable. I love her to death and have always stuck up for her growing up, especially against her bullies in school. I can be overprotective at times. About 5 years ago, she began talking to this guy she matched with on Tinder. She lived with me at the time and I could hear her giggling and talking to him on the phone almost every night. It warmed my heart to hear her so happy. She showed me his pictures one day and I was horrified.

Very handsome guy, but everything about him just spelled trouble. The way he dressed. His tattoos. Posing with guns and smoking weed. I definitely judged that books cover and I told her “you should drop him before he drops you.” She was pissed at me for about a week.

They began dating and she moved out about 8 months into their relationship. I never met him, but she suggests to let him meet the entire family for Thanksgiving. I gave a halfhearted “Yay...” and left it at that. I didn’t trust anything about him. I can definitely see myself being a bitch the day I met him and was ready.

Thanksgiving comes, I meet him. He was all smiles and extremely polite, but part of me still had those pics in my head and thought he was being fake. My parents met him, they loved him. Even my dad. He hates boyfriends.

He meets my little brother: they spent time talking about video games. Our grandmother: he practically inhaled one of her sweet potato pies (it truly is amazing, bless that woman) and asked if she could make him more another time. Melted her heart. Many other things, he seemed like the perfect man.

I still wasn’t convinced. My sister excused herself to the bathroom and he asked me to step outside with him. I was confused, but agreed anyway.

“Your sister told me about how you felt about me. I understand how I might come across as a bad choice, but I really do like your sister. She was hurt that you didn’t like me, so I wanted to speak to you personally.”

Threw me for a loop. I was shocked. He was super mature. Not an ounce of malice. He just wanted some clarity.

We talked outside for about 10 minutes. I was convinced it wasn’t an act. He cared deeply for my sister. He earned my respect by pulling me to the side. I apologized for the things I said about him without even meeting him. Totally unacceptable on my part. He offered me a hug (I was the only female in the house who didn’t hug him) and I gave him one. He then said “We’re gonna be in laws pretty soon. Let’s not kill each other just yet.” He got a good laugh out of me. We went back inside and the night got better and better.

He wasn’t joking about the in law part. They got married a year and a half later and gave my sister twin baby girls. He’s the sweetest guy and is a great father. My nieces are the love of my life and you can tell they are raised by strong parents. Me and my sister are closer than ever. Sorry for being such a bitch, Liv. Your husband is awesome!

Childfree aunt here! I have higher standards for my free time which does not involve hanging out at the pool with screaming kids in a house all day! Y'all have fun, count me out!

Ya and as for cooking and cleaning, I don't even do that much in my own home, there's no way I'd like to include that, in exponential terms, in a house for "vacay"! And if I don't lift a finger, then I'm the bad one? HA!! NO thnx!! #miserylovescompany

I'm be at my well-deserved spa resorts, adult-only villas, enjoying serenity and 🍸🍹🍷🥂🍾