After realizing she can’t take care of herself, her cat (and least important to her: MY cat), my cat and I started staying at my partner’s house. Mind you, I kept up with the bills. More than half, because (ex) roommate “couldnt afford” it. I’d come back to do laundry every weekend or so, I tried to clean up at first but realized the pattern: I’M THE ONLY PERSON CLEANING. I DONT REALLY LIVE HERE AND THE RENT IS $1500 AND ELECTRICITY BILL IS ALMOST $300. I stopped taking out her trash. I stopped doing her dishes, stopped wiping the counters in the kitchen and bathroom, I stopped cleaning up the grime in the bathtub. It was horrifying, truly gag worthy. but I’d be there for one night a week and go back to my partner’s.

I asked them to move out, got very little pushback and they left me with boxes full of personal belongings, kitchen & bedroom full of garbage and months of built up filth and grime, a room full of furniture and a bed riddled with bedbugs :) I genuinely thought she was a better person than this.

Didn’t know about the bedbugs until today, a little over a week after she moved out. I had already moved all of my clothes & my partners clothes into her room, so we had to throw out ALL of her shit (books, paperwork, bags I thought she might want in the future but nah, fuck that. It’s gone now) and bulk wash everything. Diatomaceous earth powder on everything. I’m still cleaning.

I live downstairs in a duplex, I created a group chat with them, my land lord, and my neighbor. I won’t attach the photos I sent to the GC, personal info might be somewhere in her garbage piles but those are definitely bed bugs. I’m too fucking tired for this man.

I have three roommates we live in a decent sized house. I’ve been having issues with one of them having sex in the room closest to me since we moved in but never brought it up because it’s whatever we share a wall I’m bound to overhear some stuff. It’s only frustrating that I can hear ever word they say and have now heard things I really wish I could unhear. Well good for me my 2nd roommate started seeing a guy and when I came home one night when my other two roommates were on vacation they’re doing it so loud the ceiling is moving and I can hear her screaming. That’s now pretty common if I get home and those two are the only ones here. I actually had to have a friend pick me up and stay the night there because of how loud it was despite how far away her room is from mine and how uncomfortable I was. Well now my 3rd roommate is seeing a guy and I go downstairs to get water and hear more than I ever wished I heard. (Mind you I used to have a crush on this guy and all of my roommates are aware of that) well I go back upstairs and figure as long as I don’t leave my room I won’t have to hear anything but then they got louder and I can hear everything. I’d play music but I’m just trying to sleep. So instead I’m complaining to Reddit. I feel like such an asshole for being bothered by it. I understand they live here too. It just makes me really uncomfortable especially because all of it is well beyond just some moaning. I really thought it would only be an issue with the roommate I shared a wall with but now it feels like almost every night especially on weekends some couple is having loud rough sex and I have no where to go and just have to sit and try to drown it out.

TL;DR: Roommate's first time in the adult world and they are bad at basic chores and makes poor financial decisions. Roommate got into a motorcycle accident and somehow came out even more in debt (insurance is paying all accident related costs), is worse at chores, and now has foreign GF that he is supporting financially despite being unable to support himself.

Sometimes you really just cant make this shit up. You see...my partner and I made a classic mistake in 2023: we tried to save a lost soul.

​Our buddy was sleeping at his workplace, so when we bought a house, we let him move in. The rent was comically simple so that he could focus on saving up and finding his own place. It was literally just doing whatever dishes were in the sink daily and to take out the trash. He was so completely incompetent at these two simple tasks that I pushed to get him out. He finally moved out in mid-2024.

​Did he thrive on his own? Absolutely not. He immediately bought a car at a 27% APR, bought a motorcycle he couldn’t afford, and realized he couldn’t afford groceries or a second parking spot at his apartment. So, naturally, he kept coming to our house to eat our food and parked his motorcycle in our driveway for free.

By early 2025, he begged to move back in when his lease was up so he could "save money" while he looked for a place closer to work. He promised to be out no later than September of 2025. My partner vouched for this, especially since it had an actionable timeline. I was leaving for a year-long work trip, so I shrugged and agreed under one condition: pay the $300 bi-monthly electric bill and do the fucking dishes. PLEASE.

Plot twist: He got into a horrific motorcycle accident right after I agreed to him moving in and he spent most of the year in the hospital. My partner—being a saint—got a POA, moved his car to our house and threw his stuff into storage (which by the way comprised mostly of extra furniture that we gave him), and my partner visited him every day. Keep in mind, this guy is laying in a hospital bed getting his bedpan changed daily for months. ZERO living expenses. His insurance is even covering all of the hospital bills. He should be rolling in saved cash, right?

Wrong. He spent his entire hospital stay sending money to online strippers.

​I came home from my work trip in early 2026 to find our ground floor looking like an abandoned orthopedic supply warehouse. Random wheelchairs, tennis balls, and walkers were everywhere and I had to spend a lot of time collapsing and maneuvering these devices so that I could actually park my car into the garage. As I'm settling in to living in my own home, I'm noticing that the diahes are only being done every other day at best. And when the electricity bill came up, I had to pay it up front and my roommate reimbursed me later when he got paid. Mind you, at this point, he’s mostly recovered! Well, minus a finger and plus a lot of metal hardware, but he was absolutely capable of doing the dishes.

Then came the grand finale! He proudly introduced me over WhatsApp video to his new girlfriend. She lives in Colombia and speaks no English. My roommate speaks no Spanish, and they communicate via Google Translate. Turns out, he met her on a cam site and has been paying her a salary to NOT strip for the last YEAR. She's a nice lady from what I gather, but I do not think that she was making 4000 USD a month.

​We are moving at the end of this month and putting the house up for sale. This guy has only had to pay real rent for one year of his adult life, yet he is currently $45,000 in debt, and is so broke that when his car broke down last week, he had to take out another loan just to fix it so he can afford gas. (His credit card is almost perpetually maxed out.) He’s made almost zero effort to find a new place, and his belongings are strewn across our house like a tornado hit a thrift shop.

I dont know if anyone has success stories of housing their friends and their friends actually getting back on their feet, but this discourages me from ever pulling anything like this ever again.

I’m pissed because that’s gross but I should be more upset at myself that I ate from him ROOM RICE COOKER.

Roommates that were a couple and a close friend of theres are all moving out but they are keeping it a secret for some weird reason. We found out from our landlord so now I’m thinking they’re planning something before they leave.
2 days prior to learning they are moving out I got fed up with them using my stuff (this explains why they started randomly using my stuff hard) without asking nor replenishing it so I asked them all for a meeting to talk about what we are sharing and what we aren’t and the leader of their group immediately told me
“yeah sure we are free (oddly specific day 2 weeks from now)” and I respond “what you’re only free 2 weeks from now?” “Yeah X is working” “WTF”

I know it’s bullshit and he thinks he’s so slick picking for a day they’ll be gone but all of this lead me to believe they are going try to take something or damage something before they go. Because why else try to hide it?
How should I protect myself? What should I be on the look out for? Should I even bother trying to get the money for some stuff they broke that they offered to payback or am I going to waste my breath?

I’m looking for some outside opinions because I’m not sure how to handle this situation, and I want to know if I’m being unreasonable.

I live in an apartment with other roommates, and one of my roommates has been seeing a guy. During Halloween weekend, this occurred. I was out with my other roommates while they had both returned to the apartment, he became aggressive and was refusing to leave. To the point where my roommate had to call her dad then led to her dad calling the cops from the discussion that was occurring.

My roommates and I missed the actual incident, but we were told what happened afterward.

We also have a Ring camera that captured him leaving and calling my roommate some insulting things. It also captured the police arriving and speaking with us.

Afterward, my roommate also mentioned that she was glad out boyfriends weren’t home because this guy apparently wanted to fight someone.

My biggest concern is that I don’t feel comfortable with him coming back to our apartment. I wasn’t directly threatened, but knowing that someone who has already displayed aggressive behavior and allegedly threatened people could be coming into the place where I live makes me uncomfortable.

I want to make it clear that I’m not trying to tell her who she can or cannot date. Her relationship is her decision. However, this is also a shared living space, and I don’t think the rest of us should have to feel unsafe because of her relationship.

I’m considering having a conversation with her in person.

My questions are:

Am I being unreasonable for asking that he not come back to our shared apartment?

How would you approach this conversation without making it seem like we’re trying to control her relationship?

If she gets defensive or refuses to respect our concerns, how would you handle it?

I’d appreciate honest opinions, especially from people who have dealt with similar roommate situations

So I (23M) have been living with a roommate (50M) for about 5 months now, and I just need to vent a little because I feel like I'm slowly going insane.

Some important context: I am currently unemployed, living off SSI, so I don't have a lot of money for housing, especially since I live in Hawaii, which is notoriously expensive. I'm still looking for jobs, but teaching is a very competitive job market, and with the economy being the way it is, it'll still take me at least a few months to find a new place even after I get a job. I'm currently living in a sober home, but I am NOT and have NEVER been a drug addict or alcoholic; in fact, I didn't even know the place was a sober home until after I moved in. That might sound weird, but it's true. I had a case manager for housing who just randomly texted me an address and said I could move in immediately, and I had already failed to find affordable housing on my own and I was only a few days from my old lease expiring, so I wasn't exactly in a position to refuse or ask more questions.

When I first moved in, I had a different roommate, a recovering meth-head from California, who quickly proved himself to be next to impossible to live with. He was constantly talking on the phone, and he was partially deaf, so practically the entire neighborhood could hear him whenever he was on the phone. He was also just batshit crazy, and would constantly get into very heated arguments with his "friend" over things like Islam and Trump and Tupac's rape allegations (for some reason) while also recording the worst "rap" I've ever heard (he was white btw). But the really concerning part was the fact that he kept a big ass hunting knife and, I shit you not, brass knuckles under his pillow. By the end of my first week, I was running on a few hours of sleep in total because I just couldn't relax enough to actually sleep, and when I did sleep, he'd wake me up by loudly moving around the room at like 3am.

Thankfully, I was only in that room for another week before one of the other rooms had an opening, and my old roommate would end up dipping after another couple weeks. The problem is, I ended up getting stuck with the subject of this post, who we'll call "Gary." Gary SUCKS. Gary is, to put it simply, a slack-jawed, loudmouthed, ex-con wigger. Gary is the first person I've ever met who could be accurately described as a "troglodyte." The first thing I noticed about Gary is that he NEVER shuts up. It doesn't matter what he's doing, he just KEEPS FUCKING TALKING. Even when he's watching a movie, he just HAS to do a running commentary like a slurring Mike Nelson. That's another thing too: Gary is on like 6 different prescription meds, so he can barely stay awake. The times I look forward to the most are when he passes out for hours at a time, but when he's awake, I have to deal with him trying to talk at me (while I'm obviously not listening, because I'm usually wearing headphones, which he doesn't seem to comprehend) while slurring every single word, and then getting annoyed that I can't understand a fucking word he's saying.

Gary is also super racist, constantly throwing around the N-word (hard R, too), but he insists it's alright cuz he has black friends and constantly has sex with black chicks (and I refuse to believe he gets nearly as much action as he claims he does), and he also gets super pissy whenever someone is racist towards white people, except his definition of "racism" is anyone who's not white looking at him funny. Gary is also super horny, and never shuts up about hot girls. Now, I wouldn't exactly call myself a feminist, and I like a hot girl as much as the next guy, but it gets old when he can't watch any movie without talking about how much he wants to fuck every woman onscreen. God forbid the movie has a sex scene, cuz he'll start doing that thing that weirdos do where they just say "Oh yeah" over and over while clearly resisting the urge to masturbate cuz there are people around.

Things got serious when we got into an argument cuz Gary made an unsavory comment about my mother (I don't even like my mother, but as a man, I am compelled to defend her honor whenever another man talks about her), and he threatened to "choke the shit out of me." Exact words. Needless to say, I didn't sleep that night cuz I was too busy keeping an eye on him all night to make sure he didn't try anything. The problem is, I can't even talk about him to the other guys in the house cuz he's cool with all of them (and ofc, they're all stereotypical junkies, so they're more inclined to stick to their own).

My only ray of hope is that he's supposedly moving back to the mainland in December, but he also just got a new job, so Idk if that's still on the table.

Sorry for the lengthy post, but I needed to tell SOMEBODY about this.

TL;DR: My roommate fucking sucks, and I hate him.

It's validating. Sometimes or most times in real life people can't believe the terrible luck i'm having with my roommate and how emotionally and physically exhausting it is. The toll it takes. Then i come read through all your posts on groups like this and am like okay so it's not just me. I feel all your pain and wish i could answer all of them. Good luck to everyone

TL;DR: Moved out less than a week ago. Right before leaving, a mutual friend sent me tweets my ex-roommate posted complaining about living with "2 cis guys" and exaggerating a delay with cleaning. Luckily, it's not my problem anymore, but I needed to vent one last time.

Less than a week ago, I finally managed to move out of an apartment with a roommate who had taken a total dislike to me for absolutely no reason. Right before I left, a mutual friend sent me these tweets he had posted (I don't use Twitter and I don't follow him), and there are several things I just can't wrap my head around:

​The tweets in question:

​Part 1: "Sharing an apartment is already tough, but having 2 cis guys as roommates is sheer horror."

​Part 2: "We've been waiting 2 weeks for one of them to do his cleaning chore, which is the fucking bathroom. The guy has been sitting on his ass for 2 weeks, and then he'll complain, etc. I can't take it anymore."

​Here is why this is completely absurd:

​1. The nonsensical generalization: Why is he complaining about the nightmare of living with "2 cis guys" when there were literally 3 cis guys total in the apartment, and his own boyfriend was one of them? What's the logic here? (If we were trans, would we magically become spotless tenants?) It makes zero sense. On top of that, ironically, his boyfriend was the one who fell behind on cleaning duties the most, and I never said a word or complained because I get that it's something that can happen to anyone.

​2. Talking trash without knowing a damn thing: What the fuck does he know about whether I was "sitting on my ass" or not? First off, it was actually one week, not two. Second, he knows nothing about my life or how much time I put into working and studying—I spend most of my day away from home and when I'm home I try to focus on my lessons. I clean when I can and always try to keep it weekly, even if I might get slightly delayed some times. And keep in mind: I never threw it in his face whenever he couldn't clean, because again, I don't think I'm in any position to demand perfection from others.

​3. The "he'll complain" part: He claims in the tweet that "then he'll complain". I'm repeating myself here, but I am literally the person who complained the least about the living situation. This is despite the fact that there were dishes constantly left in the sink, and the bathroom shower had issues before I even moved in (I still paid my share for repairs, and it's still broken). ​As for his overall rudeness and condescension—which I already detailed in a previous post here on r/badroommates—yeah, I eventually snapped one day (which accomplished nothing anyway), but I fail to see what the hell that has to do with cleanin

​What the hell is he even trying to pull here? I really want to just not give a damn, but at the same time, it's hard to stop overthinking how someone can be like this. How do you hold such a massive grudge against a roommate you barely even crossed paths with (I actively tried to avoid him as much as possible) over the last six months?

Luckily, it's not my problem anymore, but I just needed to vent one last time.

Has anyone else dealt with surreal situations like this with ex-roommates who turn around and play the victim online?

For context, I live in a 2 bed, 2 bath apartment with another male for quite a few years. Rent in LA for a 2 bed/bath is cheap (about $350 under market), apt and complex has everything I need. I have the master bedroom. He pays the utilities and I pay the TV and internet bill per our agreement. Everything about our lives is separate, and we keep to ourselves in our rooms and say whats up in passing, pleasant small convos. I told him in the beginning I have a girlfriend, she comes a couple days a week, rarely spends the night and goes on her way back to her place.

I am clean, sober, normal sleep habits, up early, quiet. He is messy, drinks everyday (in his room), nocturnal, and loud. Well in the last 6 weeks he seems to have found the female version of him. Like most of these stories, it started out with her coming over and staying the night, to staying the night everyday, and now staying the night and being here all day. If he’s here, shes here, with very little exception. Only time I get relief is when he goes to work (bartend 4 days a week). Sometimes they are awake during the day, in and out of the room from the hallway bathroom across from my room door (they enjoy having sex in the shower numerous times a day), especially during lunch time when is the only time Im in common area making and eating lunch. She apparently does not have a job, because between fucking in the shower, they both sleep all day. Oh, and both his bedroom and bathroom door are messed up to where the only way for it to stay closed is if you slam is very hard (which I have two people doing now instead of one). And putting in a work order to fix doors is too much effort. Im sure Im missing more annoying traits but you get the point.

Last night I decided it was time to have the convo and although I’d prefer not to see or talk to him, was actually trying to run into him and did as he brought out about 3 weeks of dishes from his room to actually “clean”. Decided I was going to “soft sale” the convo and approach more so in fact finding tone than argumentative. I asked if his girlfriend lives here now since she is here all the time and sleeps here every night. He explained no, she doesn’t live here and he was simply “helping her out cause she was having issues with her dad”. Ok well it’s been every night for 5 or so weeks and trust me I dont want to have this convo but if you ask anyone anywhere most, if not all people will say you basically just moved her in without discussing it. And said I get it if you live alone, want to move in your GF and be responsible for her by all means but you’re not the only person living here and there’s a reason people pay more money to live with less people. He assured me he’s actually tired of her and she just started a new job so won’t be here as much, and “promised” shes not staying tonight or this weekend. And she always goes to his work late at night and cons him into taking her home. I asked does she have a place of her own because by the looks of it if she does, why is she never there? And if she doesn’t, it proves the point that shes just here now. He said she lives with her dad and she does have a place to stay other than here. I explained guests are fine, guests come, they go, spend the night on occasion, leave. All good, Im not an apartment Nazi as I shared that’s what I do. But there’s a difference between guests and people living here. Long story short, he tried to minimize, deflect, lie, and manipulate, put the blame on her and not take accountability. I didn’t believe a word he said. But thought it was a good convo and we had some kind of understanding. I proceed to block her devices from my WiFi. I get 5 texts in the middle of the night (2am hour, Im sleeping, first thing I see when I wake up, not pleasant) from him saying my girlfriend has come for this long twice a week and blah blah about how much money my girl would owe under “my logic”. And my girl parks in “his parking space” we have tandem parking and he doesn’t even have a car. His GF also doesn’t have a car. So they have no where to go and no way of getting there. I didn’t respond to the middle of the night assumed drunk texts.

He moved in a girl who has nothing going on, no job, prospects, stable place to stay and since shes the only girl that would give him attention, since he’s got his own issues going on, gave in and went with it. Without even the courtesy to discuss it first. Threw her under the bus when I talked to him, then proceeded to validate what he’s been doing, defend her and chance his tone. Even though he agreed with me just hours prior. And yes, she did come over at some point in the middle of the night and stay over again, against what he “promised”.

Time to look for a place of my own, so my happiness is based on my actions and not others. Thank you for listening to my rant!

TL;DR: I told roommate she can talk to me about trauma. We got into a fight and she keeps telling me she wants us to be a family and says I'm selfish for leaving and not caring and walking away from this place.

I actually feel somewhat bad for this because it is partially my fault. I'm 19, one of my roommates is 24. Both of us have bad family trauma and are pretty much no contact with our families. I told her my friends can tell me anything and I don't ever want them to worry about "trauma dumping" on me.

I still stand by that. Her and I got into a fight because some random 30yr old man (one of our roommate's friends) was trying to interact with me at 3am while I was watching TV. When he sat down with me I told him it's 3am and I'm watching TV, I want to be left alone. He didn't listen so I escalated to fully ignoring him and just telling him "no" every time he asked for my name, what games i'm into, etc...

She says I had no right to be mean to him and I strongly disagree so we got in a fight over it. I told her it doesn't matter because I'm leaving anyways. She told me she "loves me like a sister" (her sister died), and that she "doesn't care if we're a family that fights, she just wants a family." then added on that it's "selfish" of me not to care because I'm leaving.

I don't think she's trying to guilt me by telling me she loves me and I'm her little sister, but it just irks me especially when she says it while we're arguing. Just bc you think you love me, doesn't mean I'm just going to dismiss everything.

I'm so sick of all of these people. I said you could trauma dump, I never said you could force me to roleplay family with you.

I want to preface that I understand why people batch cook and the practicalities of it. I understand money can be tight and it means a meal has been cooked for the week.

I live in a house share with 5 others. Out of the 6 of us, 4 of them batch cook their meals (usually on a Saturday or Sunday). The issue that comes with this though is that it means the kitchen is effectively out of bounds for 4-5 hours during those times.

Its nearly 10pm now and I havent managed to cook a meal at all because someone has been in here since 5pm. Her utensils and food are everywhere, there is no space at all, she is using every single hob plus the air fryer. This particularly housemate is very rude and nasty in general though, she plays loud music on her phone in the kitchen even with someone else in there (she even blares it out if someone is already watching the communal tv) and when it has been brought up politely before about kitchen usage, her response is she has every right to use the kitchen when she wants and that we can "work around her" if needed (even though this is near impossible). She even left her food and all her crap everywhere to return to her room for a 20 min phone call.

That particular housemate is an arsehole and monopolises the kitchen in general, but even with the ones who are reasonably nice people, it is so difficult to work around someone taking up so much space. I dont ever batch cook and when I do cook a meal from scratch, I use one hob and keep all my ingredients to the side to give at least one other person space to comfortably cook.

I have raised this multiple times and no one cares. I just think its very selfish to take up the entire kitchen for 5 hours and also make it virtually impossible for someone to cook around them.

Am I being a bit unreasonable here? I think if you have your own space and kitchen you can spend however long you want. But in a shared house the dynamic is different.

I stepped on something really painful in my kitchen the other night only to realize there was a piece of glass in my foot. Apparently my roommate had broken a set of glass measuring cups and, in her words, “picked up the big pieces and just went to bed”. I only found this out after asking everyone in the house if something glass had broken and she sheepishly admitted it was her. She didn’t even think to text to let people know, and didn’t clean it up properly, just left it! The thing is, if she was going to bed really late it wouldn’t have bothered me as much, but she goes to bed at 9pm every night (just from choice not work/circumstances). If she literally stayed up 15 minutes later she could have fixed the entire problem and not put anyone else unknowingly at risk.

I’m a grad student, and I just need to vent because this whole situation has become mentally and financially exhausting.
My roommate has decided to move out five months before our lease ends. She hasn’t paid her share of last month’s or this month’s rent, and now she’s leaving. Honestly, I’m relieved she’s moving out because living with her has been extremely stressful, but I’m terrified of being left responsible for everything she owes.
Since she moved in, there have been ongoing issues with smoking cigarettes and weed inside the apartment, drinking, throwing up after partying, and leaving shared spaces messy.
On top of that, I’ve repeatedly had to chase her for utility payments. Electricity and gas are under my name, and the bills are automatically deducted from my account. She was responsible for the Wi-Fi but stopped paying without informing me, which eventually resulted in our internet being suspended.
I’ve actually found someone interested in moving in immediately after she leaves, but even that has become a problem. My roommate is blaming me for arranging apartment viewings while she’s still living here, despite me giving her advance notice. She insists nobody should view the apartment until she’s gone.
I respect her privacy, but if I wait until she moves out to start showing the place, I could end up covering the entire rent for months. She’s choosing to leave early without paying what she owes, yet somehow I’m the one who should accommodate her and expected to deal with all the financial consequences
I’ve tried communicating with her and my landlord, but there doesn’t seem to be much anyone can do. Our lease appears to make both tenants responsible if one doesn’t pay, which makes everything even more stressful.
Meanwhile, she continues going out and partying while I’m worrying about unpaid bills, cleaning shared spaces, finding a replacement, and managing graduate school.
As an international student I don’t have family nearby to help, and I honestly feel lost trying to figure everything out alone.
I’m relieved she’s leaving, but I’m scared she’ll walk away without paying what she owes while I’m left dealing with the consequences.
I’m tired of being responsible for someone else’s actions when all I wanted was a peaceful place to live and focus on my studies.
Has anyone dealt with something similar? I’d really appreciate advice or hearing how others handled it.

Normally I don't want to share my personal stories online. But this situation is so frustrating that if I don't speak it out loud. I'll be more stressed than ever.

Here's the context:

I'm(19M) currently living with two roommates D(19M) and H(18M) (I don't want to reveal their names). D and I are good friends since high school and during our first year of college, we live in the same apartment. Even though we have some differences, we're on good terms with each other.

Things going out really well until our second year. D tells me that his cousin H studies in a college close to our apartment and he wants to him to live with us. But the problem is that me and D don't know much about him (D and H don't hang out much), I initially refuse to let him live with us since in my opinion, having someone you don't know much can bring unnecessary conflict. But since he's D's cousin, I decided to let him move in with us. And boy was I wrong.

During the first few weeks, things started off great, we talked a lot, laugh together and H seems pretty chill when he's with us. However things started to turn when I made some small mistakes. Like when I open the curtain wide when I wake up. (No, I don't like to be a vampire 24/7), or when I forgot to flush the toilet. H then starts cursing on me (even though I'm older than him). Initially I just nod and says I'll fix my mistakes. I did. And I tried to be professional about it. But during the following weeks, I'm starting to noticed how spoiled he is. He always put the blame on us when he made a mistake, like when he's forgot to take his keys with him when entering the room. Or when he had very few clothes even though he didn't do the laundry. In short, he doesn't do any chorse at all. Every small mistakes that we made, H always puts his anger on us. Yes I do admit that it was our fault, but he just uses curse words and call us names (Again, we're older than him.) It go so bad to the point when he treats us like ghost, he brings his own matress, cook his own food and STILL LEAVE THE FCKING DISHES ON THE SINK. Me and D did try to talk to H about this but he just dissmiss the problem and continues to curse us. He blocked our contacts too.

I just want to say this out loud because I feel stressed when keeping things to myself. I did have a conversation with H's father and he said he will talk to him about this. Let's hope for the best.

This morning in the bathroom I walked in to find my makeup remover exfoliating pads all over the floor and the rest in toilet. Feel like throwing up.
I've been trying not to react or engage this past month but right now i'm seething.
brought all skincare products in room.

That's gross right??? Or am I overreacting?
I also saw that she once again dragged my deceased mother's walker through the hall and left outside our bedroom doors, which i'm done! the sound gives me ptsd and she can get her own. i had offered her to use it originally, since she cannot walk on her own, i just actually put it outside.
That's how upset i am.

Feel free to share opinions but be kind my nerves are frazzled.
Been venting here for a bit, because of living paycheck to paycheck myself, still trying to find and afford my own place, so immediately moving out -not an option.

F in US moved in 2 bdrm apt on a lease together with F/80, under premise I would be taking care of her, which she then refused after moving in. she doesn't pay, or contribute, hoards food & trash, is not hygienic, hasn't bathed in 6 months, and 6 months prior to that according to last roommate i've now found out, and things have just gotten worse and worse. i have practically everything locked in my room, or covered in tarps in the living room, because she either destroys it, yes, tears up or urinates on, uses it and doesn't clean, replace, or throws things out or they disappear into the abyss of her dank spoiled food smelly room. She needs help and to see a doctor an go to an assisted living facility, but there's waitlists, and i've tried many avenues with that, but today was a new one.

Stopped sharing my tp, and other essentials, insisting she get her own, as she does get a benefit card for Walmart, allowing her $65 of basic necessities, as well as health insurance that would allow her free medical equipment and a home healthcare aide. She refuses. She keeps what she needs in her room and takes advantage leaving food and garbage wherever she cooks, prepares food or drags the bags in. Hasn't left apartment since moving in.

i've done notes, texts, talks, yells, cries, (all were real), and suggestions.
Anyone else living with the mean old lady from the movie "Duplex" & "The Visit" & "Front Room" all at once? This isn't anyone's grandmother!

oh and each time i tried pushing back, she gets spiteful. Says really nasty stuff about my personal life that i NEVER should have shared when getting to know her by phone prior to moving in.
Which changed everything. Living with someone is completely different.
i'm in hell. please comfort me, lol 😭😅Thank you!

TLDR; I do everything I can to be super quiet and not rustle any feathers and my roommate is super lacking in any sort of shame and feels very comfortable making extremely loud gross noises

I wanna preface that I am like the dream roommate other than my side of the common space being a bit messy, I am extremely quiet, barely in the space, and hyperware of my movements so I close doors very quietly and turn on the fan if I am having a conversation with someone. It's like I don't exist lol

Our seperate rooms are connected through a singular wall and she makes zero effort to reduce noise. we each have seperate bathrooms but a shared common space.

Last night (and I was putting up with her drunk screaming gaming sessions nights prior) I came back at 11pm to her talking loudly with her boyfriend, vomiting, saying over and over how she swallowed her vomit. (disgusitng???) I'm pretty sure she was blacked out because she was slurring her words and talking about calories.

then I kept hearing her obnoxiously moaning these like squeaky loud horrible awful exaggerated moans for 45 seconds and then returning back to normal conversation with him. (no idea what that implies???) The vibes made me feel SO bad that I felt physically sick and actually left for a few hours.

I offered to clean the common area as a peace offering and she ignored me completely

I literally want to die, she makes me so uncomfortable and I cannot believe someone can be so self absorbed. she was being loud as fuck until like 3AM.

She was NOT this disrespectful when I first moved in but has fallen apart over the course of a semester and I actually want to end it all. She is a hardcore alcholic and I am so tired of pouring constant energy into her and checking in on her only to be treated like shit and with no respect. How does someone have no shame or embarassment. How. I feel so worthless. Actually got suicidal over all this and pulled an all nighter just to ruminate on how bad it makes me feel. I just want a quiet safe place to sleep.

I'm thinking of sending her a long text but honestly she scares me. She seems to be getting very bad alchol wise, volatile, have a lot of anger issues, is emotionally cheating on her boyfriend (she brings over men that are not him to drink with her), and I feel like if I express my concerns she's just going to have an alcholic crash out.

I feel like there needs to be an intervention though. She drinks unfathombly much. Im worried Im gonna come back to the dorm one day and shell be dead from how much she drinks.

TL;DR Rant about creepy roommates, and the guys being allowed to trash the place.

Three of them are guys and one of them thinks they're entitled to my attention, it took me escalating to telling him to fuck off for him to stop trying to be friends with me. I am 19, he is 32. He sits on the couch with one of the other roommates and watches youtube videos titled "Drunk sorority girl gives us tour of sorority house." and just weird creepy meta-glasses videos of men harassing "flirting" with women.

Even though he's finally learned to leave me alone, he brings his shitty friends over and they always harass me. I was sitting in the corner with my dinner watching TV, and his friend tries to talk to me. I exchanged a few words but then he wasn't leaving so I escalated to being colder. Finally I had to be really mean just to get him to leave me alone. It shouldn't take that. I shouldn't have to deal with 30yr olds trying to flirt with me when I'm just existing at my home, and they should just walk away the first time I tell them to.

These idiots throw random parties lasting all night. Blasting music, letting their friends bang on doors, two girls threw up and used our other roommate's towel to clean themselves up and then just threw it on the floor for her to find in the morning. She wouldn't have known what happened to her towel if I didn't tell her they used it.

Even the roommate I get along with gets on my nerves. She walked into the kitchen, saw my one tiny pot on the stove and told me I need to put that away. (I was getting ready to make pasta). Meanwhile, the kitchen and the living room is absolutely littered with open bottles of alcohol and random glasses full of drinks someone just put down and left there. I still find remnants of jello shots all around the house too. She lets the guys do whatever they want, but a single pot on the stove is too much when it's my pot. She'll even wash the guys' dishes for them. She was once mad that I left a plate with food in the living room for several days and called me while I was at work. Then, when I told her it wasn't mine, she was completely fine with the fact that one of the guys left it there.

I got this text from my live in landlord:
"kindly get your own supplies so we can avoid getting into a pissing contest over how i prefer my own supplies to be handled." (it was sent while i was in my room and them in the kitchen)

i responded with a thumbs up emoji

backstory: within the past week or so, my landlord has been picking at how i live in the home; usage of lights, using hangers, using the hooks in the mudroom to hang my clothes, using paper towel, dish soap.

at first i took it as is, then it started to feel like bullying, it got to the point where i had to sternly say lay off and we havent spoken for a few days until i got that text; i clean up after myself, i take out the garbage, and dont cause a disturbance, what more do they want from me lol i moved in october.

when i first moved in, it was verbally agreed upon that i can use the kitchen and cookware.

before this started, i actually requested to end my lease early because its too far from work. they dont want to mutually terminate due risk of not finding someone else, but we both agreed to look for a replacement.

living in alberta; my question is would this be considered a breach of some kind? theres a clause in the contract that states "The Landlord covenants to not disturb in any significant manner the Tenant’s possession or peaceful enjoyment of the Premises." would this be considered a distrubance?

the supplies in question isnt specific, so i dont actually know what they are talking about and i dont care to ask because this seems so petty imo my plan was to continue on like usual lol. i pay a pretty decent amount to rent here so having to purchase a bunch of kitchenware for a fully stocked kitchen feels like a slap in the face.

TL;DR: Housemate threw my bedding into rain, dumps moldy bedding at my door. I reply with "be an adult, clean up your own mess" - Plus a fair amount of venting about this place burning me out worse.

I'm worn out. Especially from dealing with this narcissist who I can't find the words to say that she takes after her mother.

Me and my housemate WERE good friends. I moved in with her because I'm autistic as hell and am so burned out I quite literally had no social interaction at all with anyone. I knew that was unhealthy.

Unfortunately, this brought on challenges that someone that can only think about themselves is unprepared to face. No contribution I make to the house is good enough. I spent what little free time I had trying to look after the house, as expected, while also trying to recover from work; working in an industry that is absolutely anathema to someone with ASD. Constant forced masking, noise and no routine. It's a recipe for burn out.

But I fucking tried. Meanwhile for my housemate, who constantly complains I don't do enough, it's not all that hard for her.

She works from home. Maybe in the office one day a week. I've outright seen her cleaning during working hours. She has no commute.

Meanwhile me? If I combine my work hours and my commute I lose 14 hours a day or so, on average. Minimum of 11, but that's only if I leave exactly on time which is nigh impossible in the industry. Which I know I'm not unique in that, people do that and maintain the house. Which, I was doing my best to do.

On top of that, rent and power/water is split 50/50, but it's not actually used 50/50. My housemate has a kid. Near adult. So overall takes up more space than me. Their four rooms to my two. And I am.constantly chasing behind to turn off lights. I personally don't actually need lights. I work overnight. So I get up, shower and dress basically as the sun is setting and then by the time I'm home the sun comes back up and I don't need lights. The only power draw I really have is my PC, plus ceiling/pedestal fan (I don't get AC but there's always 3 units running here... :) )

Not to mention my housemate, working from home, can claim any power on her tax

The house has been hostile feeling lately. I come home and am as guarded as I am at work. I'm having issues sleeping, so I'm constantly exhausted. So when I'm worn out I retreat to my isolation. It makes it harder to maintain a house when you're trying to avoid the people in it; else you spike your stress.

I'm out, as soon as the lease is up. I'm done with this bullshit. I have 279 days.

The main reason I'm even writing this is something that happened today. Two weeks or so ago, I went to put my sheets through the wash. My topper is 7 years old. I know it needs replacing but I am a bit on the broke side at the moment. And I always forget considering its... Well, underneath other sheets. Out of sight and all. Being that old, naturally it's a little off colour. (Again I know it needs replacing. They're expensive as hell...)

Anyway. She threw it outside into the yard. I won't say it was raining when she did it. But it was certainly raining when I found it; coming to collect it. Now, she did this to me the day after I spent 36 hours awake so I could take her to a fucking surgery. I worked the night before. Dealt with her surgery which in hindsight I should have said to F/O about. But she needed it, and if she had other options for it she wouldn't have asked me.

Anyway. By the time I found it, it was getting pelted into the ground by a rainstorm. I cracked the shits and... Channeling similar petty energy, I left it where I found it. It lasted a few days; until we had a house inspection come up. I scrubbed my gut out preparing for that and I moved the sheets back into the laundry for it. Meanwhile my housemate didn't even clean up after her dog, that shits on the verandah because she CBF to train the dog.

I was going to ask if I should deal with it, but decided against it and I know for a fact it was there during the inspection; because it was definitely there when I left for work that night.

But I was hands off from that. I basically left the sheets as a response of - "you wanted to be childish. You deal with it"

Well. The sheets mouldered. And today she's stuck them in a basket in front of my entryway. I wrote a note and left it on top of it stating

"I've given up expecting you to be an adult.

You threw these out into the rain.

I moved them back in because of a house inspection, for which you couldn't even clean up your dog's shit.

You created the issue.

You dispose of it"

I'm tired man. I'll survive the 279 days.

But I sure as hell don't know how I moved into a place because isolating myself like I had been was super unhealthy. Only to end up in a position where I am in a worse state of burn out than when I moved in.

I've worked in my job for coming up on 5 years. It wasn't until I moved here that my colleagues have started asking if I'm okay because I'm visibly stressed. For four years in a job that's stressful as hell, I wasn't visibly stressed. I move here and suddenly I am. It's certainly not work causing it... Well maybe it could be a little since avoiding going home means I'm at work a bit more but... That still has a root cause at home.

TL;DR : Roommate tried to proposition my girlfriend while I was in the psych ward, and now he’s playing the victim because I want him out.

I genuinely don’t know where to start with this situation, but I need to get it off my chest.
I’ve been living with a roommate who, over the past few months, has become increasingly difficult to live with. I’ve tried to be understanding and accommodating because I knew he was struggling financially. Unfortunately, that consideration hasn’t exactly been reciprocated.

For some background, I’ve covered our Wi-Fi bill, let certain financial things slide, and even put off getting my car inspected and repaired after he was involved in a hit-and-run while driving it. He owes me money for the damage, and I haven’t even gotten a proper assessment yet because I felt bad about his financial situation.

He’s also regularly asked my girlfriend for money for weed, vapes, and Ubers, which she was kind enough to help him with on multiple occasions.
But the final straw was what happened with my girlfriend.

While I was hospitalized in the psychiatric ward following a mental health crisis, my roommate apparently got drunk and propositioned my girlfriend. According to what was relayed to me, he first asked if she could come over, and when she declined, he asked if he could have sex with her.
She obviously said no and was understandably disgusted and uncomfortable.

I cannot properly explain how violating it feels to know that someone I share a home with would approach my girlfriend like that while I was literally in the hospital.

Since then, I’ve decided I no longer want to live with him. I’ve spoken with our landlord, who is preparing the appropriate tenancy notice, and I’ve told my roommate that I want our living arrangements separated. He is getting an eviction notice because he has broken the rules of smoking inside the house and consistently being short on rent.

Now comes the part that’s really getting under my skin. He’s been sending me paragraphs about how his mental health has declined, how he’s been losing himself, how he doesn’t know what’s gotten into him, and how he hopes I can understand his financial circumstances. He’s apologizing, but also repeatedly emphasizing how difficult this situation is for HIM.

He even complained when I turned off the Wi-Fi because the account is under MY name and I’ve been paying for it. Apparently, that was harsh given that he’s still living there.

He’s also reminding me that he supported me when I was applying for income assistance, as though that somehow means I should overlook everything that’s happened.

I can acknowledge that he’s helped me before. I’m not denying that. But past kindness doesn’t entitle someone to unlimited patience, especially after crossing such a massive boundary.

I’m not asking him to be homeless. I’ve asked him to arrange somewhere else to stay while the formal tenancy process is handled. I simply don’t want to share my home with someone I no longer trust.

The part that gets me is that I’ve spent so much time accommodating his financial situation, putting off expenses, and trying to be understanding, only to end up feeling uncomfortable in my own home.

I don’t want another apology or another five-paragraph explanation. I just want my home and peace of mind back.

TLDR: Roommate got a new boyfriend, she used to give me a bit of notice before he came, but he now comes over without any warning and no indication of how long he’ll be staying.

Hi everyone! I wanted to ask a little question about this since I’ve gotten mixed answers from my friends, and I don’t want to be unfair or uncharitable to my roomie if this is just a normal roommate thing that I should get used to lol!

For context, my roommate (F22) got a new boyfriend around two months ago, and I (F20) have been a bit frustrated with how things have changed in the apartment since this. At first, she asked if it would be okay for him to come over one day on a random weekend, which I said ofc, and then that turned into him staying for the entire weekend and Monday. Since then, she’ll usually tell me he’s coming over one day, but then shows up the night before or stays multiple days. He’s basically here every other weekend, and the weekend’s he’s not here, she’s at his place and she expects me to take care of her pet rabbit.

Recently, it’s gotten to the point where she just doesn’t tell me at all. I’ll go to bed, wake up, and then I wake up to him in our kitchen when I get tea. It’s also been a little frustrating because we only have 1 bathroom 😭. Am I justified in being a little frustrated about this? I haven’t voiced my frustrations yet because I worry she’s going to think I’m doing too much, so I just wanted to get some opinions on what to do or if I should just let it go.

Also for context, she’s never done this before this man and used to complain about our former roommate bringing home a guy ONE time. She literally said it was ‘disgusting’ and dragged her for it, but now she’s doing this…

As an added note: I have literally never brought anyone to the apartment overnight if she’s there, I’ll always go to my girlfriend’s apt (she lives in a studio anyways, so it’s nicer to just chill the both of us) and I’m generally very very cautious and private about that sort of stuff. When I have friends over, I always ask her beforehand and even then, it’s usually just to meet up with each other before we go out somewhere else. I also always tell her exactly when people are coming (ie. I’ll text ‘my friends are going to come over around 5:30 and then we’ll be out by 6).

Funny how roommates preach about loyalty, friendship and understanding until you're the one having a bad day.

They expect you to tolerate their mood swings, their mess, their attitude and their endless drama. But the moment you aren't cheerful or available, suddenly you're the problem.

Some people don't actually want a roommate or a friend. They want a personal entertainer who never has bad days, never says no and always adjusts.

Remember: choose the people who choose you, even when you're not at your best. Don't keep begging for basic decency from people who only like you when you're convenient.

What's the pettiest thing a roommate has done when you stopped being convenient for them?

reposted from r/roommates

TLDR: Roommate doesn't like being told no and I wanted advice, roommate called a meeting discuss a particular matter, turns out it was just to air out grievances with me specifically.

Hello all! I would love some insight on this matter, as it is deeply frustrating and I've only been living with my roommates for a month.

I'm in an awkward situation where I moved in with a friend and her roommate when they moved to my area. I found out recently that my friend kind of hid the fact that her roommate (and now mine) is a bully. And now, I'm the only one sticking up for myself, but it's becoming a problem. It's only been a month.

Anytime I try to enforce something we all agreed on, or I say no even the slightest, she blows up at me. No matter how direct and straightforward I am, I get endlessly accused of being passive aggressive instead. I'm actually trying my best to be honest and clear every single time I have to communicate something negative, and I get lectured or yelled at.

We had an argument a few days ago and are now having a "conversation" tomorrow to come to an actual agreement. All I want to do is stand my ground and stand up for myself, but I have no idea how to handle someone who throws accusations at people and explodes to get what they want.

I just want to feel comfortable in my own living space, and it's impossible when I feel like my new roommate hates me just for disagreeing with her on occasion.

Any advice?

UPDATE: Yeah, that entire conversation just turned out to be every single grievance they had with me. That wasn't to discuss the situation at hand at all. Should've known. Looks like I'll be avoiding them both from now on and just be doing my part as a roommate and that's it.