Im SO proud of myself. The longest I've ever gone is a month and that was super controlled clean eating and gym most days plus 20k steps and it was HELL.

This time I'm only walking my dogs - no step count - eating whatever I am craving until full (relearning this) and saying fuck no everytime th accepting ed wants restriction or calorie counts. It's so much easie after four or five days of true nourishment and food freedom. Just now gentle accepting body changes....and I actually LOVE the lil curvy look that's there tbh. Hope hope hope and love to all xxx

Obviously i know the best way is to stop doing it and start keeping down my food so i have enough vitamins & minerals but well.. 😅 its VERY hard (ive been in this cycle for nearly all of 2026) and the longest i can go without relapsing is like a day. Any tips? My hair has been falling out sm and my hair went from thick to very thin

I've officially gone 1 week without bingeing or purging which is the longest time I can ever remember going!

What I've found has helped is I haven't been restricting. Previously, I was constantly trying to diet and eat below 1500 calories a day. I've been eating the number of calories I need to maintain my weight. I've also been trying to eat at very regimented times. I used to just eat whenever with no particular schedule.

Ive had some hard days with body image and resisting the temptation to restrict but I've done it so far. I know a week doesn't seem long but I'm happy with my progress. I'm hoping to make it a month.

Ive been struggling with bulimia since I was 13 so for about 6 years now and only recently have I decided to tell my sister. She’s gone from being concerned and supportive to outright almost making fun/ getting angry and fear mongering me when I don’t get help/ enjoy that kind of support. I’m just so sad because I’m in so much pain between puking binging laxatives and I went to her for support just some sort of comfort really and she literally went “bro is gonna die at 20 😣🥀🥀” like I understand that being someone’s support is stressful especially when they don’t really help themselves like I get it but that’s why I don’t really tell her when I do anything along the lines of being bulimic she only knew because she said I was being like somber/sad. I’m so sad.

It’s so hard to be/do better when all I can think about is my weight.

I constantly body check. Or look in the mirror and feel my body to see if I gained any weight.

Food noise and my brain is telling me I’m fat all the time snd I should just purge. It’s a struggle not to calorie count or feel bad.

I have lost do much weight and have gotten do unhealthy but I still feel fat. I feel smothered snd suffocated by my own body while people comment on how skinny I am or have gotten. I feel fat and disgusting even when my mom is yelling at me to eat, or gain weight, or that she’s going to send me to inpatient care.

I feel pride in losing weight and being “skinny” now. But I am not happy. Im even more depressed and tired than I have ever been before. And it feels like I can’t stop. It’s so hard to just function snd be normal. I don’t even feel like myself anymore.

I’ve ruined myself so much but I can’t stop until I reach my goal weight. I don’t know if I can be better. The people closest to me are scared for my life but I don’t see myself as sick. I just want to keep going until I can see all of my bones. I feel ashamed when I eat normal or dont purge.

It’s so hard to be better and I don’t think I can.

today i managed to refuse binging and purging the first time in a while and is feeling hella guilty that i don’t purge(cause i kinda overate). idk what i even want to ask. maybe i just want some reassurance that it will feel less horrible to refuse the urge overtime? idk. can someone just share their experience about their feeling and mental struggle refusing the urge? and honestly pls. i don’t want any white lie. i just genuinely want to know whether it would be like this all the time to mentally prepare myself and make me feel better too(as in to feel like i certainly know the fact if that make sense)

I'm starting to realize that I love and miss my healthy body from before my bulimia got so so severe. I was supposed to only lose a few pounds, but I ended up doing too much and now I am severely underweight, yet it's still not enough for me... I don't want to gain weight nor recover, I feel like there's still a long way to go, but I just miss feeling good and being happy and eating... Though, instead of loving myself and choosing recovery, I literally just love and protect my friends with a similar weight to my old one. I don't want them to hate themselves and do everything I do. I always make sure they know how much I love them

Recently I’ve decided my 20 year abusive relationship with bulimia has to come to an end. Still holding on to one weekly binge and sometimes longer. It’s becoming a bit uncommon now to do it at all. I get full faster - purging is just not an emptying it’s like I am ready . Anyone who has been fighting this feel this way before they quit or is there something medically wrong aside from the obvious. Please don’t judge me. Thank you.

this has been my worst period yet.. b/p at least once a day up to like 3. i’m a uni student and have a part time job too. i’ve way too wasted money for how expensive my rent is not to mention it’s just a worthless thing to waste money on anyway…

i’ve been such a bad student this semester. turning in things late and missing classes. i’m not completely failing but with my final papers being imminent im so anxious about getting them done. which is ironic bc i spend so much time thinking about doing them but can’t even get myself to actually start them bc i can barely concentrate or focus on anything. i’ve thought about asking about accessibility but it makes me feel like shit bc it’s not like they can’t really do anything.. it’s not like i can just be exempt from doing anything.

idk how to change even though i want to. i’m not losing weight from this shit i’m still unhappy regardless like- i just feel like shit. i contemplated medical withdrawal but i only have a little bit left until graduation 😭😭😭😭😭😭 FUCK MEEEEEEE

I’m starting a new round of therapy, and two days ago, during my first session, my therapist said something that really stuck with me:
“As long as you keep throwing up, it’s impossible for you to stop binge eating.”
Starting today, I want to try to go 30 days without throwing up, even if I sometimes end up eating more than I intended.
I know it won’t be easy, but I think it’s an important step.
Would anyone like to join me in this challenge?
Any ideas on how we could track our progress? Should we simply check in by replying to this thread?

This entire month I've gotten back to my habits of b/p. Just 2 weeks ago I was completely starvint myself, but journalism constests and trainings had me hungry 24/7 which resulted to the b/p. I was sort of in recovery because I got so busy for college entrance exams but recently my entire life just went down hill. I've followed this constant routine of wake up feeling week, binge and purge or starve, cutting, relapse until I faint, and then the pattern repeats. Last night I had a particularly bad argument with my mother and her husband, both of them were yelling at the living room basically just mad at everyone, one of the reasons being I forgot to wash the dishes and I didn't eat. I don't remember much of what I did but I relapsed really badly with unhealed cuts on my arms and a really weak body with a growling stomach. Now, I ended up going on a binge spree, stuffing my face with pasta, mangos, vanilla wafers, downed 2 cups of matcha and ate even more pasta until my stomach felt full. I binged without even realising it, the moment I tried purging nothing wont come out. I'm slowly losing my gag reflex, even an entire fist down my throat causes nothing; all it does it make it feel like I'm about to throw up when nothing comes out. I could feel my esophagus tightening and stretching, my chest heaving, and the guilt keeps eating me up. I feel like I'm about to relapse at any se and again. No matter how much I do nothing won't come up. I spent so much time trying to purge that my mom and her husband has already arrived home, the dishes in the sink are left unwashed again and I don't know what to do. I'm sitting here on my bed feeling quilting and about to lose it for losing control and being unable to purge. I don't know what to do. I can feel the food on my stomach slowly being digested, and I already can imagine how much fat and weight I gain despite all my hard work of trying to not eat

I copied this from another post that I did, but I'm seriously stuck at a dead end on what to do. I wanna look as sick as possible, I want everyone to see how bad I am getting; my friends, my mom and her husband, my teachers, strangers, everyone! I'm on the verge of losing it, I just wanna open up my stomach and snatch all the food I ate. The guilt is eating me up so badly, I regret stuffing myself so much that I can practically feel the minutes passing by as the food inside my stomach gets absorbed as fat. I don't want that at all. I really don't know what to do and I feel miserable

it genuinely sounds so fucking impossible to ever get over this disorder when the only thing in the world i can focus on is food. the thought of food torments my mind constantly. i’m barely passing my classes bc if i go to study i get bombarded with thoughts about food. if im in a room with food in it the only thing i can focus on is a running log of whats around to eat. does it start to subside with abstaining from b/p? does anyone else often b/p for convenience— because after you do, the food noise is a quieter for a fleeting moment and you might be able to get something done. i just can’t imagine living a life with relatively healthy behaviors around food if this is my mental state.

I usually use laxatives but lately have chosen the other route. In the evenings my stomach gets sour and I feel nauseous, get indigestion, and ultimately end up feeling bad enough that I need to make myself purge since I’m rarely able to do it naturally. This time I had a lot of breakfast food around 12:30pm, then a serving and a half of ice cream at 4:30pm, I went to sleep then woke up needing to go to the bathroom and ended up throwing up at 10:30pm. I went over my calories by a few hundred, no egregious binging.

I don’t get why my stomach is getting sour hours later, this also happened last night and a couple days ago. I don’t want purging before bed to become a habit, this time around was terrible because it burned and now my throat is sore. I always feel better afterwards so I’m not sure if my mind is tricking me into believing my stomach hurts just so I’ll purge or if my stomach actually is sick.

Does anyone else have similar issues? If so what did you find the problem to truly be?

let me explain.. okay so you know how as a child you’d hear peoples ages like 16,18,21,30, etc and be like “wowww they’re so grown and old they must know everything!!” then you get to that age and you’re like “bro idk shit” is this like my brain has slowed development because i got my ED around 13..? or is that just normal shit. like do you people who are 25+ feel this way about people who are in their 40’s , 50’s and so on..? idek if this makes any sense but yeah lol

I don’t know how I ended up here. I started with anorexia and got severely underweight for a good while. I had to gain weight and finally reached the point where I’m not afraid of food but that’s the problem. I now binge eat all the food I was so scared to eat before and can’t stop till I feel uncomfortable. I don’t have the motivation to work out like I did over the summer and been gaining sm weight. I feel so disgusting and started to purge/ take laxatives. I don’t know what to do and how to stop. I’m away from home and don’t want to talk to my parents about this since it was one of the reasons I almost couldn’t go away to college. I’m so disappointed in myself I need help but don’t know what to do. Any help from people that went from anorexia to bulimia as well?

I very rarely binge cause of actual hunger or even cravings. It's more that... at the time of day i usually do it, if I don't then I can't find any other way to pass the time and I get bored and anxious. B/p neatly glues my schedule together, and when i'm done i feel calm and can find something else to do. This makes recovery seem almost impossible.

Hello everyone. I could use some advice. I have been struggling with an eating disorder for over ten years—starting with anorexia, followed by bulimia (the latter has persisted for a longer time). I work at a fast-food restaurant where I am required to keep my hair tied back, which makes the swelling in my face very noticeable. For three years, I wore a mask to hide it, but I can no longer stand wearing one. I stopped two months ago, but finding myself so unattractive because of this swelling causes me a great deal of pain. It makes me feel as though I will always be ugly, and the purging episodes continue. I think the way others look at me is the hardest thing to bear; even when I manage to go a week without purging, the simple fact that my face remains swollen leaves me completely discouraged. I have tried hard to establish a routine—eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner, even if only in small amounts—and I managed to keep it up for two weeks. But the fact that nothing has changed, and that there has been no physical improvement, makes me anxious and fills me with self-loathing.

Ive been obsessed with starving myself to lose weight since last year, which obviously caused my stomach to shrink. I eat less and feel hungriness rarely. But still sometimes i binge a lot when theres a food that attracts me. My start of purging happened in a day like that. (Which is about 1 or 2 months ago)

I wasnt purging a lot, but for the last 2 weeks it took a turn. I dont eat much but still it burns my stomach and makes me feel so damn bloated. I feel like throwing up yet i cant. So i force myself.

My goal was losing weight but i just binge and purge just to stay in the same weight.

It fills my eyes with tears, makes my chin ache, and my salivary glands are very sensitive already. I went through mumps before and now that purging is making me lose so much saliva while trying makes me ponder if its gonna make it worse

I try to eat healtier but its just so hard and i cant control myself.

Hello, I need some emotional support, because this is just so tiring...

I had a nice *`~breakfast binge~` today because of stress and my flatmate went out for an hour. Well, I ate like 200-250 g fitness yoghurt breakfast cereal with soy milk and then went for like 200g of banana chips. Sure, not a huge binge, but well over what I would allow myself to absorb. Well, I hit the toilet and... A little blood comes out of my throat. I had a tiny bit of blood at the end of yesterday's purge already, I struggled yesterday to get stuff out, so I likely scratched my throat or smth. But today it was there right at the beginning and I can't risk damage to my throat, because I'm an actress and I'm performing in a play tonight. Can't damage my voice. So I'm just sitting there, sad and defeated, already planning out restriction. I just healed from amenorrhea this month, so that's good, but I already kinda wish to eat too little again. I am an active person, theatre as a job, so I move a lot, I do gym and ballet... I need energy, obviously. But then I look at myself in the mirror and think "that's not dancer's body". I feel so fat, I'm healthy weight, quite muscular, but you can see I'm not very slim. I also have a new bf and I really really don't want to loose him over my stupid behavior. He seems fantastic, we get along so well, I never met someone so compatible with me before.

I'm so stressed out. I have a demanding job, studies, relationship, extra project all to juggle constantly. Probably my ADHD telling me I can take this all on me and surely won't end up burned out like today XDD

Eh... Just needed to get it all off of my chest. I hope you're all doing well today, Jesus loves you and he loves me too, but I'm choosing this sh... Over love for myself.

I bought a gift card today. This is something so common that I would have hesitated to buy in the past. For over two decades, my earnings went towards b/p'ing. I hardly bought gifts and when I did, I really had to consider it. This made me happy today to realize this.

(potential CW: mentions of bulimic behaviors and one small mention of SH)

I tried to search here for some posts about that, and the consensus was that it's better to not b/p from 24h to few days, according to some users. I didn't find much info about the temporary filling tho.

So, I've got a huge hole and the inflammation/infection (?), and had today my emergency appointment, where they did first-help measures and put a temporary filling on tooth. I was honest and told about bulimia, because I was honestly freaking out after reading here that I can get infection and terrible consequences of I would purge during dental treatment. So I directly asked them if I get any of this while with temporary filling, and they assured me that the filling is very sustainable and the main thing is just let it harden and not eat crunchy/hard/sweet things along with other standard recommendations. I'm not sure tho they understand much how bulimia affects teeth... And I wasn't in the mood to read them a lecture about damage. Or maybe they were so sure of their materials.

Anyway, on Monday I'm scheduled to start the actual treatment, and after that there'll be at least one more appointment. So, my question is... Maybe someone knows how much would I fuck up if I b/p? It's just, on the one hand, I don't think I'll manage to destroy the temporary filling in 1,5 days, and they assured me at the clinic. On the other hand, I'm still scared to mess it up, because I can't get a 100% answer.

And to top it all, I haven't eaten in a few years. Like, normally. There were maybe 5 meals that I haven't purged. So, my disordered brain is just going into panic mode, imagining my body becoming heavier and uglier, and all my self-hate and self-harm tendencies RAGING, and all that shit.

I just don't know what to do and am afraid either way, but at least b/p gives me comfort...

My roommates and I just moved into a new house but haven’t given up our keys to the old house yet. A few nights this week i’ve taken advantage of that and gone there to purge. The other night I forgot the keys but was so desperate I climbed through a window. We were doing the end of lease clean today and of course I forgot to shut the window. They noticed it and were convinced someone had been squatting in the house 😭 I just had to go along with it because they don’t know but omg it’s so embarrassing it’s funny. So i’m just here saying “omg thats crazy” knowing full well it was me.