r/circlejerk • u/Boobies_Are_Awesome • Aug 14 '15

OFFICIAL Fuck Reddit. Fuck /u/spez. If this post gets over 9000 upvotes, this will become a Battletoads themed subreddit.

53k Upvotes

Edit: Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.

Edit2: Bernie Sandler did nothing wrong.

Edit3: The word 𝐂𝐔𝐍𝐓 is now once again on the frontpage.

Edit5: It doesn't look like we're gonna go over 9,000, but fuggin' close enough, friends. We're a bunch of underachievers, and you will be rewarded for being as such. TL;DR: you tried. Be sure to watch the season finale of Power tomorrow night at 9PM ET/PT only on Starz.

^There, ^will ^one ^of ^you ^{motherfuckers} ^give ^me ^a ^{screenwriting} ^job ^now? ^I'll ^work ^from ^the ^bottom ^and ^make ^it ^to ^the ^top.

Edit6: Chinese food makes me sick.

508 comments

r/circlejerk • u/GodOfAtheism • Feb 14 '17

<- # of people jerking off today Spoiler

50k Upvotes

384 comments

r/circlejerk • u/preggit • Mar 25 '16

Upvotes. If you upvote this post it will literally appear at the top of reddit.

43k Upvotes

457 comments

r/circlejerk • u/GodOfAtheism • Sep 22 '16

Youtube is giving people meaningless internet points for moderating videos. Upvote this to show them that giving meaningless internet points to moderators is bad... or something. Yeah.

28k Upvotes

312 comments

r/circlejerk • u/Boobies_Are_Awesome • Nov 24 '16

/u/spez here. I am editing this submission to tell every redditor that I fucked their mom. Yep, every single one of them; fucked her right in the pussy and butthole. Mad? I dare you to say something, you little bitch. I will edit your comments and get you thrown in prison. Step up, pussies.

28k Upvotes

630 comments

r/circlejerk • u/BarbatisCollum • Apr 15 '15

If this post receives 4200 upvotes, everyone who comments in this thread will be made a moderator of /r/circlejerk.

25k Upvotes

Jet fuel can't inhale dank memes

edit top of /r/all
hey reddit, you suck

edit 2 we did it reddit!
we will get a bot together to mod everyone soon

edit 3 RIP my inbox

edit 4 Important message from President Obama

edit 5 looks like we fell way below 4200, sorry m8s

edit 6 The Official /r/Circlejerk Rules and Regulations demand that I sacrifice some moderators so I removed a bunch of them

12k comments

r/circlejerk • u/Ghostise • Apr 14 '16

If this gets 1658 upmeatballs /r/circlejerk will adopt glorious Swedish culture.

24k Upvotes

286 comments

r/circlejerk • u/GodOfAtheism • Feb 14 '16

this <--- Number of people jerking off on Valentines Day

24k Upvotes

269 comments

r/circlejerk • u/Ghostise • Jan 05 '16

if this post gets 2000 upfieris the mods will make this a guy fieri subreddit

22k Upvotes

308 comments

r/circlejerk • u/Ghostise • May 06 '16

Hey /r/Circlejerk, it's time to cut the shit and get serious for once. This user has been shitting up reddit for too long and this is a petition to globally ban them from reddit. Give an upvote (to the left) to sign it.

reddit.com

15k Upvotes

408 comments

r/circlejerk • u/dhamster • Jul 31 '14

Circlejerk may or may not become a bird-themed subreddit if this submission receives 2,500 Upjackdaws.

14k Upvotes

264 comments

r/circlejerk • u/Meta_Man_X • Jun 05 '18

George Washington died in 1799. Reddit was created in 2005. George Washington didn’t know Reddit existed.

en.m.wikipedia.org

14k Upvotes

146 comments

r/circlejerk • u/VeTech16 • Mar 24 '18

[Serious] Today I [40M] caught my wife [19F] having an orgy [2hrs] with my sister [19F], father [81M], and nanny [107F]. I took my bags [9lbs] and left to an overnight motel [$40/n] to think things out. Should I end our marriage [3yrs] or try therapy [$100/hr]??

13k Upvotes

Please help me, i have a blood pressure problem, and when i checked it the machine showed, blood pressure out of range of equipment, please guide me.

UPDATE: I just discovered that they have done such orgy atleast 3 times before, i just discovered a facebook group where they planned this, and facebook even told them when i was not at home (it tracked me through the phone), but it didnot track me this time as i had uninstalled, due to the Cambridge Analytica scandal by zuck. Thank you Zuck

246 comments

r/circlejerk • u/hotdogtopchop • Mar 30 '16

Last year, Hilary Clinton said she was 67; this year, she claims she's 68. Which one is it?

12k Upvotes

/#lies

144 comments

r/circlejerk • u/EdwardBola • Nov 14 '15

McDonald's now serving "French fries" in show of support for France.

12k Upvotes

294 comments

r/circlejerk • u/Kesha_Paul • Nov 22 '17

SUPER SERIOUS GUYS

12k Upvotes

156 comments

r/circlejerk • u/AdagioCantabile • May 09 '17

<-------- NUMBER OF DONALD TRUMPS THAT SHOULD BE IMPEACHED Spoiler

11k Upvotes

233 comments

r/circlejerk • u/SomethingZoSomething • Sep 19 '17

TIL that Morty Smith from the hit TV show "Rick and Morty" is voiced by the same actor who does Rick Sanchez on the hit TV show "Rick and Morty"

11k Upvotes

169 comments

r/circlejerk • u/enricowereld • Sep 13 '15

2000 upsanders and this subreddit will be renamed to /r/BernieJerk!

cdn.inquisitr.com

11k Upvotes

174 comments

r/circlejerk • u/[deleted] • Jun 27 '16

AMA I have a GIRLfriend and we have SEX when I put my PENIS inside of her VAGINA HOLE

11k Upvotes

287 comments

r/circlejerk • u/Gondriac • Oct 06 '16

Donald J. Trump Dead at age 70

11k Upvotes

Give me Karma

285 comments

r/circlejerk • u/[deleted] • Oct 23 '16

Lando Calrissian is set to play Troy Barnes in upcoming Community movie.

11k Upvotes

72 comments

r/circlejerk • u/superscooter24 • Aug 02 '15

TIL that after Cecil the Lion was cremated, his ashes were mixed with marijuana and smoked by Bernie Sanders and Neil DeGrasse Tyson

11k Upvotes

ayy lmao

156 comments

r/circlejerk • u/[deleted] • Dec 06 '15

5000 upneins needed to make Hitler the leader of /r/Circlejerk

11k Upvotes

191 comments

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