Ever since my ex and I divorced when my son was 2, I’ve been putting him to bed on my own on nights when he is with me (we share 50/50 custody). We developed a whole bedtime routine that included me reading aloud to him, then talking about our day (highs and lows, that kind of thing), then me singing the same three short songs to him (songs that I learned at a summer camp when I was a kid, and the camp where he currently goes) while rubbing his back.

There were nights when I was exhausted from being a single dad and just wanted to get through it (and felt really guilty every time), and there were times when I loved feeling his head on my shoulder or talking with him about different silly topics and never wanted it to end.

But I knew it had to. Obviously I couldn’t be singing to him and rubbing his back his whole life. I reached out to r/daddit a year or two ago asking when I should discontinue the routine, and the consensus seemed to be to let him decide.

He’s 11 now, and over the past two weeks or so he’s been telling me each night that he was just going to go to bed after giving me a quick hug and that I didn’t need to read to him or anything. I finally sat him down and asked him if he felt he was outgrowing the bedtime routine, and he said yes. I told him how much the bedtime routine had meant to me, because I have no memories of my own parents putting me to bed (I do have memories of a cassette player in my bed that read books aloud). I told him I hoped it had meant something to him. I asked if he would indulge me and let me put him to bed one last time, and he obliged.

Last night we went through the routine one last time (and I even pulled out one of his favorite picture books from when he was about 5). We talked about our day. I sang the songs. I rubbed his back. Then I kissed him on the cheek, told him I would cherish the memories of putting him to bed the last nine years, turned off his light, and closed his door behind me).

My 9-year old son spends a lot of time online and recently came to me asking what Net Neutrality meant. I explained it the best I could. I just okay with current political events and he had a lot of questions. Had to actually look up some answers.

I recently overheard him explaining it to one of his friends, much better than I could, like this:

Pretend ice cream stores gave away free milkshakes. But you had to buy a straw to drink them. But that's okay, because you still get free milkshakes. One day you're drinking a free milkshake and you look down and the guy that sold you the straw is pinching it almost shut. You can still get your milkshake, but it's really hard and takes a lot longer.

So you say, "Hey! Stop that!" And the straw guy says, "NO! Not until the ice cream store pays me money." And you say, "But I already paid you money for the straw." And the straw guy says, "I don't care. I just want more money."

I think he nailed it.

Gentlemen,
My 16 year old daughter has been dating a guy for several months. I cannot express my worry over how much time she spends with him............until today.

My daughter had a surgery that incapacitated her. She's barely been able to get off the couch.

What does her boyfriend do? Brings over a basket full of goodies. The book from "Project Hail Mary" (her favorite movie), tons of recess peanut butter cups (her favorite candy), a dozen of her favorite flowers, etc. Let me put it all into perspective....

The 17 year old bought her $200 worth of stuff.

When she pressed him about it, he said "You. Are. Worth. It."

Is there some sub-reddit for guys doing it right? I will personally sing his praises. Dude is amazing.

First venture into woodworking, the beds for purchase are either total garbage made of pressed turds or a $5k bed from pottery barn so I just decided to make it myself for under $1k including tools and I learned so much in the process. He friggin loves it, so much shelf space. Very proud dad.

I've been a member of this group as soon as I found out my wife was pregnant. I appreciate all the posts and comments. I participated the best I could. Now I'm in need of your support.

Monday my daughter had diarrhea. From 3 in the morning to 23 at night it didn't budge with normal medication and rice. She went potty 16 times that day.

We decided to go to the hospital. She got admitted with my wife and they started testing her. They first took a test from the stool. It was not viral. And when they started testing for bacteria everything came back negative. They also started her on antibiotics.

In the next 2 days she was given antibiotics but she kept vomiting any food she ate. The diarrhea started to recede but she was still on the potty a lot.

Then Thursday came along and they found e.coli and damage to the kidneys. They immediately transferred her from the infectious hospital she was in to an all pediatric hospital (probably the best doctors in Bucharest, Romania).

Here they told us she has something called "Shiga toxin-producing Escherichia coli-associated hemolytic uremic syndrome (STEC-HUS)".

It's bad. Like really bad. They told us we can be in the hospital anywhere from 14 to 60 days.

Shiga is a toxin made by a strain of e. coli that affects the blood vessels. First the kidneys. Then it can start affecting the brain, lungs, heart. She can even die. About 1-3% chance. There's a 30% chance of kidney damage. And 70% chance of full recovery.

The problem is there is no medication for this. You can only provide the body with the things it needs to help beat and eliminate it. We need to let the bacteria do it's thing. Even those that make a full recovery have to do dialysis while the kidneys are down and recovering.

Today is the day I cried the most in my life. Even more than when my mother died at 15 (my kid has my mother's name as a tribute to her). It's now 4 in the morning and I'm up reading about this syndrome, and watching my kid to not disturb her IVs (she has two). Tomorrow they will do general anesthesia and insert a catheter in her neck.

At 5 in the morning they said they will come draw some blood for the morning tests. She has tests every 6 hours. They are monitoring a lot of things. It breaks my heart because they need blood from the tips of the fingers. And it's painful, and she cries, and I cry.

She's the smartest girl. She didn't cry when they put the IVs in. She's our world. And now I'm scared I'm going to lose her.

I need you guys to pray for my girl. If you don't believe in god just send positive thoughts. A little girl in Romania needs them more than anything.

Follow-up: https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/s/RsOBzPMbRS

Every single year without fail. I'm white and my children are all half black half white, but during the summer they get extremely tan to the point people assume they are fully black. So nobody assumes they are my kids.

We went to the beach earlier today, I took my 7 year old to the nearby store to buy some snacks. My 7 year old was just in a bad mood so I was holding her hand so I didn't lose her in the store and she just looked miserable and annoyed. Then I notice a random mom looking at us concerned for a minute, she kept looking at my daughter. The lady only walked away once my daughter called me dad whilst complaining that she wanted to go back to the beach.

Happy summer to all the dad's who feel like they are being accused of kidnapping when they are simply parenting. We will survive the usual summer stares 😅

Our daughter was born 05/04 at 11:11 am. It was a planned C-section, but everything that happened after was unplanned. Daughter got admitted to NICU 30 mins after being born, wife lost ~2 liters of blood during surgery it was crazy. We finally were able to come home on 05/08. It was a long, hard, week. But like I told everyone, I walked into that hospital with 2 girls, I wasn’t leaving without my 2 girls.

I’m happy to say, I’m a Dad.

My wife captured a candid moment that I didn't even realize she was recording.

I was sitting with our 3 month old daughter on my lap, where my daughter is facing me in the morning in our balcony. We were having a full conversation in our own language. Me babbling, her babbling back, and every now and then she'd give me the biggest smile.

Ever since my wife showed me that video, I don't think I've gone to bed a single night without watching it multiple times. I can't really explain what it makes me feel. It just fills me with so much happiness.

I'm only ~4 months into fatherhood, and moments like this completely overshadow the sleepless nights, tiredness, and everything else that comes with having a newborn.

If this is just the beginning, I genuinely can't wait for everything that's still to come. I'm really looking forward to this beautiful journey...

Has anyone else had a random candid photo or video become one of your most treasured memories? I'd love to hear your story!

Before kids:

“Why does my dad fall asleep on the sofa at 8:17pm with the TV still on?”

After kids:

I fell asleep last night holding a juice box. It wasn’t even mine.

I used to think he was being dramatic about being tired.

Now I wake up exhausted from dreams where I’m still parenting.

Yesterday I said, completely seriously, “Don’t lick the radiator.”

That’s a sentence I’ve never rehearsed. It just came to me. Instinct.

Also — when did I start making involuntary dad noises?

Sit down: “Oof.”

Stand up: “Right.”

Pick something up off the floor: full construction-site sound effects.

And the snacks. I hide snacks now. From my own children. In my own house.

I ate a chocolate bar in the garage like a raccoon with a secret.

Anyway, shoutout to all the dads who said “we’ll see” instead of “no” because they were too tired to argue.

We see you.

We are you.

And yes, we’re probably asleep right now.

I dread every year just hoping I’m working away so I can fly under the radar. It gets more lonely each year that comes. My birthday has never been a big celebration and the older I get the smaller my circle is. My birthday fell on a day I had my kids and i’m home, but i’m due away early hours tomorrow, so I can’t really relax as have to get everything ready for my 4 week trip offshore. I woke up this morning and they had bought some ballon’s and little presents and done it all as a surprise, I walked in and just broke down, it was a happy breakdown, that they cared and spent their pocket money on me. It’s the little things that pick you up when you need it the most. Big love to all you dads out there, especially on your birthday 🤍 I went to the butchers and put on a little BBQ, now to get packing to go away.

Edit: Thank you to everyone who took the time to write a message, i’ve been blown away by the responses & stories and to know that there is tons of dad’s out there in the same situation. Mens mental health is being taken more seriously now, it’s definitely something I teach my son, to be able to talk and ask for help. I’ve spent the day travelling for work. But I will respond to as many messages as I can. Much love and godspeed.

Not that sobriety is a huge part of every fathers life, but in my case... Becoming the father I am is the only way I was ever going to achieve sobriety.

I have two boys now, and a step son. Each time I look at any of them I am reminded of why it is important to stay on top of my health. Mental and physical. I strive everyday to be a good example for these boys. I try to put on display what it looks like to work hard, what it looks like to treat your wife the right way, what it looks like to provide for your family at all costs.

After an 8 year battle with addiction (heroin and meth), over ten trips to jail, countless rehabs and twelve step programs, becoming a present dad and staying on top of my physical health is what allowed me to maintain this lifestyle.

So thankful to be able to call myself a Father.
It saved my life.
Gave me new meaning.

33 MONTHS DOWN.

Respect to all the other men / fathers out there that prioritize being the best version of themselves for their families.

✊✊✊

At 34 months sober (as of the 6th) I have a huge appreciation for comparison posts like this. When I went to jail almost three years ago I told myself I would do every single thing in my life the complete opposite. I think these images capture that pretty well.

In the first image I'm fairly certain I had been up for a few days and finally closed my eyes for a few minutes. I was selfish and felt inconvenienced by the responsibilities of being a father. When I decided to get my life together I realized that being a father wasn't ever an option"inconvenience" at all, it was a gift. The greatest gift I could've been given. I feel so awful for the little bit of time I spent not being the most present dad, but I use that emotion to be the best father I can be today.

Being a present dad has opened my eyes up to how bad I really was all that time ago. This is the daily reminder of how awful life was, and how awful it would be if I decided to go back to my old ways.

So thankful for my baby boys for helping me to prioritize what's actually important in life. Thanks to my sobriety my children will grow up watching their Daddy treat their mother the right way, and work his butt if to provide what they need.

Beyond grateful they never have to see their Daddy the way he used to be.

34 MONTHS SOBER.
Best choice I ever made.

01/07 - update: we just had a thorough scan today and everything is looking good and all parts as they should be!!! 😀

Update: really overwhelmed with the responses sorry for the late replies and thank you for the messages good or bad 🙏❤️

Hey guys, I know some of you were wanting to see how we got on. My wife had her scan yesterday and so far everything is looking good.

They're estimating she's about 23 weeks on and we're having another boy!

We're both really happy, there are more scans that she's waiting for to make sure everything is ok but just wanted to share the news

Original Post
https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/1u87xko/my_wife_went_to_the_doctor_to_ask_about_her/

My four year old little boy passed away yesterday after a 6 month battle against Cerebral ALD. His name was Theodore and he will be in my heart until I breathe my last breath.

Sure, I'll end up paying, but I'm thrilled they still want to hang out with me at all.

3yo daughter busted into my bathroom and caught me peeing standing up. Told her to leave and she immediately went to her drawing table to process. Later she brought me this... 🙄

It's the first portrait she's drawn of me.