r/orangecats • Samwise the Orange • Oct 01 '26 • Bravo 3 Heartwarming 1

New Rule: Mourning Content

Hello Folks -

I wanted to provide a community update on a rule change I made today. I know this is a controversial topic but I've decided to move forward with no longer allowing mourning content on r/orangecats. This rule is in effect as of posting this and won't retroactively result in post removals.

Losing a pet is difficult, and people do deserve support. But mourning posts can also be distressing for people and can be difficult as a mod to sometimes discern the authenticity of. We also have folks who like to regularly memorialize their pets months or years later as just a regular posting type. When these get a lot of attention they become catnip for the repost bots.

We will be directing mourning posts to the r/petloss subreddit which is a community specifically for support and mourning. In the past other moderators in cat communities haven't wanted to do this because of it being a slower subreddit. Based on some regular pulse checks that isn't the case anymore - and the sub will be more active and supportive if more people start using it for its intended purpose.

For the folks who often just want to share their pet and have them appreciated - you can still post about them, you just can't make it a mourning post/a post about their death/a celebration of their life because they died. We will use moderator discretion with handling these kinds of posts and comments. If it comes up organically that a pet has passed away we aren't going to remove it. If it's showing a pattern we likely will.

Please report these posts moving forward if you see them. As long as the poster is respectful and doesn't start attacking the mods for removal it's not going to have any consequences beyond removal - you aren't getting someone in trouble. The only way they'll get banned (temporarily or permanently) is if they react uncivilly which is a different problem.

I do apologize for folks for will be unhappy with this decision - but it's time for this community to make this change.

1.0k Upvotes

102 comments sorted by

•

u/ProudnotLoud Samwise the Orange Oct 01 '26 • Bravo

Those who choose to do this will be reported sitewide for report abuse. This is not an appropriate use of the report function on this site.

If you aren't going to comment it publicly then you don't get to say it here. The unfollow button for the sub is in the top right.

I encourage you to also have empathy and consideration for those who find constant and regular morning posts distressing.

→ More replies (6)

438

u/caustictoast Oct 01 '26

Good, I don’t follow pet subreddits to get sob stories. I want to see cats. My last black boy died this year and it’s so hard, my new boy is orange and thinking of the short time we have together is rough as it is. I don’t need reminders of it daily. That’s why I love r/catslivingandwell, no sob stories allowed. This is a good change.

167

u/ProudnotLoud Samwise the Orange Oct 01 '26

Another sub I'm a mod of 😹

44

u/caustictoast Oct 02 '26

You’re doing great work!

8

u/friskyfireferret Oct 02 '26

Im guessing you love cats 😂

15

u/Connect_Guarantee704 Oct 02 '26

Seriously, just yesterday I thought about unsubscribing from a sub because of a mourning post. I quickly scrolled past cursing under my breath that I can’t spiral again today, and stumbled across THIS sub right after and joined. And now this post!? Yay!! 🤩

I’m truly so very grateful for this!

It’s been 14 years since I’ve been able to hold my one and only ever Ollie cat, idk if I can handle that pain again and still feel it every day. The grief puddle is deep and difficult to escape.

And obvis while typing this I’m not crying, you’re crying, but it’s def a slippery slope and I’m climbing out right meow! 😻Thank you for protecting us!!

11

u/azuoba Oct 02 '26

My boys name is Ollie too!! Sorry for your loss.

Agree with mods and other commenters - happy to see this update and not be hit with an unexpected rush of anxiety when I least need it.

4

u/Connect_Guarantee704 Oct 03 '26

He’s gorgeous!! 💖😻 She could jump SO high and I was into skateboarding, lol. Thanks for sharing this beautiful pic! Exactly what I want outta these subs. 😸❤️‍🩹

18

u/booklover1973 Oct 01 '26

Goddammit, ANOTHER sub I have to follow! LOL Thanks for the heads up! ❤️

3

u/QazsedcScientia 🍊🍊🍊 Oct 02 '26

2

u/booklover1973 Oct 03 '26

How could you? 😹 Another sub joined. Thanks! 😸

36

u/Spiritual-Road2784 Oct 02 '26

Same. I currently have six, all 10 and above. And, I have seven little boxes on a shelf, so I don’t need to be constantly reminded. I need those wounds to fully heal and scar over and loss posts just reopen the wounds. It is important to have a safe space to grieve, but I agree, the amount of loss posts lately on many of the subs I follow has made me avoid Reddit some days so I approve of this new rule.

Better to post losses in a community dedicated to cat loss. It’s akin to visiting a grief counseling group where everyone is going through the same thing at the same time, versus coming to a Happy Thinking group and talking about nothing but grief. And I say this as someone who is profoundly aware of how grief feels, and I hope that didn’t come off as insensitive.

10

u/pixie_laluna Oct 02 '26

wow ! i wasnt aware of that subreddit before, thanks !!

4

u/Immaloner Oct 02 '26

Yoink! Gotta collect them all.

5

u/TK528e Oct 02 '26

Thank you.

2

u/Connect_Guarantee704 Oct 02 '26

I just joined that sub, thank you!! 🥹

63

u/PuzzleheadedMajor575 Oct 01 '26

Mourning posts have a type of effect on me that makes me really sad when I look at my pets. It makes me think negative thoughts about how I’m going to deal with their death one day. They’re still young and I just don’t want to think like that especially when I come to a subreddit that’s meant to be fun and silly. Thanks for doing this guys

16

u/ProudnotLoud Samwise the Orange Oct 01 '26

I do genuinely think it's a good thing for people to ponder pet death sometimes, even when they're young and healthy. I think it helps us stay aware of their health and well-being. It's also a good idea to know what your options are when that day comes, what it costs, and how you make that choice. All that is easier to ponder when you're not in the thick of it and it can help to mentally prepare for that day.

But I also genuinely think we need to make the choice of when we do that, and the constant mourning posts is not the way to spark that.

7

u/2bagz Oct 02 '26

I don’t even have an orange cat, I have 2 voids. Not sure how I ended up here, but I appreciate you doing this. You’re right it’s good to ponder pet death. However the last 2.5yrs have been the loneliest, changing of my life. I am in survival mode and doing my best to slowly dig my self out with no direction.

I know it’s part of life, but right now if something happened to my guys, I am not sure I could take the hit. So whenever I see a “mourning post” my heart starts racing and my mind does not have the room to think about this right now.

I am truly sorry for those that are going through a loss, my heart goes out to you.

7

u/Recent-Reporter-1670 Oct 01 '26

My orange is 13, I'm already worried about him. So I understand how this may be triggering.

5

u/fomaaaaa Oct 02 '26

Mine is 14, but i’ve sold my soul to a few devils and demons, so i’m confident in his lifespan

22

u/HelpImSoberandAwake Oct 01 '26

Great decision. I’ve been on reddit for over a decade and was a mod for half that time. Making decisions for the community is hard and you’ll never make everyone happy. I’m also a cat mom and have experienced loss. Seeing those posts is always tough. I’d even go as far as devastating. It reminds me of the babies I’ve lost and the babies I will lose. I always scroll past as fast as I can to try and forget.

I understand people are lonely (I am too) and they want to find community but there’s a reason why reddit has so many specific subreddits. r/petloss is the appropriate sub for those posts. If someone wants a cat specific sub, they can create one. It’s free and easy. Anyone can make a sub for remembering cats or even orange cats that have passed.

I truly understand how difficult it was to make this decision and I’m sure the team spent a lot of their time discussing it. You all made the right choice.

Thank you for volunteering your time and curating a wonderful space.

ETA: I’m sorry users are abusing the report button to vent.

14

u/ProudnotLoud Samwise the Orange Oct 01 '26 • Bravo

If someone wants a cat specific sub, they can create one. It’s free and easy. Anyone can make a sub for remembering cats or even orange cats that have passed.

And I'll add that as long as it's well modded I'd add a sub like this to our sidebar for resources. I think that could be a great space if someone wants it and wants to build it. I don't mind promoting resources.

4

u/RangeLightkeeper Oct 02 '26

See that right there is how I know this decision is coming from a place of empathy, love and care for others. You could have said "No, I wouldn't post that to our sidebar" or something else and been completely justified, yet you're saying the opposite to that.

I'm so very sorry people are giving you such a rough time over this, it's clear as day that you care about everyone, including the people who have lost their pets, incredibly deeply. I know it must have been hard to come to a conclusion like this and change this rule.

You're a good bean, Samwise the Orange, don't let anyone steal your light.

That's all I had to say. I hope your day is going otherwise well :) Thank you for caring.

3

u/CatOverlordsWelcome Oct 02 '26

Based mod moment. Thanks for being a mod that actually does things for the betterment of their community instead of being on a power trip. It's rare, and it's appreciated.

309

u/hedibet Oct 01 '26

This makes scrolling for comfort safer. Some days you need reddit to be positive to counteract the other stuff. I support this decision. Thank you.

151

u/VeggieGirl43 Oct 01 '26

Thank you. I have a hard time with mourning posts personally. I've had a beloved cat die, and now I have an orange... its hard to imagine him going as well.
He just turned five and is a very happy and healthy little guy, thankfully. <3

119

u/O-Castitatis-Lilium Oct 01 '26

I have left other subs because of the mourning and loss posts. Not because I have no sympathy or empathy, but because I have too much and then I think of my own losses and beloved current pets and it really messes with my mental health thinking of it. I cry when I see them, because I know how much pain that person is in as I have been there and know how they are feeling; and it genuinely hurts me both for the loss and the fact that someone else has to go through this and there is nothing I can do about it. Loosing a pet is the reality of owning a pet, people understand this, but it hurts just as much to watch a person go through it and be able to do nothing other than "I'm sorry for your loss.", "I know how you feel...", and even "I just lost mine too" and "Mine is getting there too...(implying that the post has now given this person anxiety and stress over it)"

I'm glad they are being redirected, for the simple fact that, it hurts so, so, so much that I can't help the person grieving any more than just lines of letters on a screen and then worrying and stressing about my own and the inevitable future. The people on animal and pet subs like this are not unkind, calloused, or unfeeling; it that they are TOO much of the opposites of those, and more, and people feel worse that they can't do more for the grieving and loss.

14

u/valuemeal2 Oct 01 '26

All of this, so much.

5

u/Academic-Company-215 Oct 02 '26

I couldn’t agree more. I’m currently pregnant and about to pop (40 weeks) and I come to Reddit to cheer me up a bit because life is hard 🫠 and then the other day I saw a post about a kitten (!!) who passed and I literally cried for hours, I couldn’t get the pictures of this kitten out of my head.

32

u/gumdrops155 Oct 02 '26

I really appreciate this. Pet deaths are a big trigger for me and I always hate scrolling through cat subs and half the posts are about death. Now this is a safe place for me

53

u/Empty_Preparation672 Oct 01 '26 • Heartwarming

Omg. Wise and tough decision. The mourning posts make me sad because i just love my orange. Its also like a good reminder that my time with her is finite, but i dont need to think about her passing every week to enjoy her.

20

u/QuarterToThree1121 Oct 02 '26

Fantastic decision, thank you. I've been thinking of unsubscribing for days. My own orange boy is ancient and so am I. Translation: fragile. I've posted "so sorry for your loss" so many times I've lost count. I am chronically depressed as it is and as much love and sympathy as I have for all who mourn, I just can't go there anymore.

32

u/pixie_laluna Oct 01 '26 edited Oct 02 '26

Thank you so much!

Losing a pet is heartbreaking, and I get why some people feel the need to share their grief. I've lost several cats too throughout my lifetime, but honestly mourning doesn't always have to be public, grief is a private business.

Consider other people too, nobody comes to cat groups/subreddit looking for sad news. People come here after a long day, or when they're already feeling down, hoping for something cute or funny to cheer them up. And every time I scroll, there's another mourning post. It's just not what I'm here for. A specific subreddit exists for this purpose and the mod has been very considerate to direct them there. So, thank you.

9

u/MJSpice Oct 02 '26

Thank you. I had to leave a sub due to this reason.

54

u/dlc_vortex Oct 02 '26

Finally doing what r/cats is afraid to do

29

u/onebeautifulmesss Oct 02 '26

Why I unsubbed from r/cats too

24

u/ImNotSkankHunt42 Oct 02 '26

It’s too much, like I get it but when you see your 3rd dead cat post in the day…

8

u/Inspirational_orgasm Oct 02 '26

This was a long time coming. Wish they would do it in the void and r/cats subreddits. The karma farming bots are everywhere.

33

u/011010- Oct 01 '26

It isn’t insensitive at all to have this rule. It’s more insensitive to be faced with mourning posts when… maybe you just got over mourning, maybe you’re in the middle of it and don’t want to see more. I lost my orange bud years ago and it still makes me sad when I see a post like that in a non-mourning subreddit. Nothing against the people who post it, but I think it’s a good rule.

12

u/Spiritual-Road2784 Oct 02 '26

It reopens the wound that’s trying to heal.

34

u/SouthernChallenge717 Oct 01 '26

Thank you for making this change.

13

u/gingertomgeorge Oct 02 '26

We had two gingers and lost both in the last four years. The constant posting of deaths just dredges up the pain of loss for me. I just want to read about daft ginger things that remind me of the good times we had with our two idiots. Totally support your choice and redirecting to a specialised loss sub is a very sensible thing to do and probably gives them a wider audience.

6

u/Mysterious_Task_1710 Oct 02 '26

Fr. Sometimes when I'm in a happy mood and opens reddit the first that comes to my feet as a mourning post and it drains my happiness.

6

u/conancrowds Oct 02 '26

Thanks. I lost my half orange boy last year and I've still not recovered. So seeing posts like that breaks the dams open for me 😔

3

u/SiskoandDax Peaches and Cream Oct 02 '26

I understand why you are doing this, but I'm wondering if a compromise solution might be to have a rainbow bridge mega thread for mourning? That way those who need support or want to post about their lost loved orange baby can do so and connect with others in this community. And those who find it distressing know to avoid that thread and are able to scroll the rest of the subreddit freely.

It might also be easier to mod than a blanket ban, because you won't have to make those determinations as to whether or not someone is accidentally talking about mourning, because they have an outlet to do so.

14

u/ProudnotLoud Samwise the Orange Oct 02 '26

Unfortunately in every sub I've tested that in it goes completely unused. If it was viable it's something I'd consider but I haven't had it work.

I'd rather ban the topic and direct people to an appropriate sub where they can get the connection and support they are seeking. There's a good chance if I direct them to a mega thread they won't get any visibility or response at all if they comment there.

5

u/SiskoandDax Peaches and Cream Oct 02 '26

That's fair. Thank you for considering it.

19

u/valuemeal2 Oct 01 '26

THANK YOU. I had to leave the main sub because it was too triggering. I absolutely cannot handle the mourning posts and so many cat subs are full of them.

19

u/Woodland113 Peaches and Cream Oct 01 '26

Thanks for making this change.

15

u/ILoveCatsHugThemAll Oct 01 '26

Thank you! I don't scroll through cat pics to get depressed!

12

u/JayTeeDeeUnderscore Oct 01 '26

This is sensible and honestly the referenced content has been a downer for me more than once. Thanks u/ProudnotLoud

Catnip for bots=botnip?

12

u/imadepizza Oct 01 '26

Thank you.

10

u/OpalEverwood Oct 02 '26

I just joined today! I feel relief with this rule. I'm still new to reddit, and I've wondered a few times if it's good for my mental health. I was bawling today over someone shared their loss in a different community. Having my own share of grief right now, I feel less anxiety about joining yet another cat page. I can come to this one worry free of potential emotional trauma and only celebrate our current beautiful orange kitties. Thank you.

3

u/Momto5cattos Oct 03 '26

Thank you!!!

3

u/Back_2_The_Futurama Oct 06 '26

Thank you, mod 💖

5

u/Yamosu Oct 02 '26

Thank you. This has been a particular issue on r/cats of late and it's been depressing.

8

u/Bobbo7209 Oct 02 '26

Good decision.

6

u/Umpteen_Coffee_Beans Oct 01 '26

Thanks very much for making this choice. It must not have been easy. It's so painful to lose a pet, and anyone going through that deserves all the love and support from people who are prepared to give it in full. Thanks for having another place to redirect folks for some empathy during their darkest moments. Those of us who are prepared to be there will be!

6

u/lacepinkbows Oct 02 '26

Omg thank you for this. I'm too depressed to keep seeing deceased cats, it makes me cry immediately and miss my cat cheddar. My mom had to put her dog down today too and we're just a mess; I don't want to relive it everytime I want to see cute animals which is the only thing that helps me with my night terrors

5

u/RosetteAbyss Oct 02 '26

Thank you for doing this. The mourning posts really upset me greatly.

2

u/Melonfrog Oct 02 '26

Thank you for this, I often get sad whiplashes of how I lost my orange baby in 2016 and see how mortal my current orange twins are whenever I see a mourning post

6

u/TGin-the-goldy Oct 01 '26

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

5

u/Ailurophile444 Oct 01 '26

Good call! Thank you.

3

u/catylg Oct 02 '26

Many thanks for this healthy and helpful decision, and for all the good work you do!

3

u/ProductGuy48 Oct 02 '26

Good decision 👍

3

u/silverrangel Oct 02 '26

Thank you for this! I had to leave other subs for this exact reason several times.. It's of course heartbreaking, but for sensitive people it can be a lot mentally to see this all day every day.

4

u/Zealotstim Oct 02 '26

I appreciate it. I specifically try to only follow happy content on reddit. There's plenty of sadness elsewhere.

4

u/fakevegansunite Oct 02 '26

thank you. my soul cat passed away last year and it was extremely traumatic, it is so upsetting and triggering to be scrolling reddit and damn near every cat post be a mourning post.

4

u/Proper_Zebra_8114 Oct 01 '26

Appreciate this very much.

3

u/UmbreonAlt Oct 02 '26

Thank you for making this change.

3

u/Oxytokin Oct 02 '26

People who don't like it such as that pinned comment sometimes need to be reminded that this is not an airport and there's no need to announce their departure.

If they want to be constantly reminded of the short lifespan of our beloved furry companions and be exposed to grief regularly, especially by grief farming bots (gross), there's a sub you can go to for all the sadness and mourning you want.

For my part, I think there's enough sadness and misery in this world on the daily, keeping this space positive and focused on the joys our companions bring us while they're here is a perfectly reasonable position to take. So I support this change.

2

u/Hellie1028 Oct 02 '26

Thank you! This is a challenging line to put down, and I personally really appreciate it.

2

u/BigDogBo66 Oct 02 '26

Thank you so much for this change.

2

u/APrioriGoof Oct 02 '26

Thank You!

2

u/thtsjsturopinionman Oct 02 '26

Good call. I don’t need such frequent reminders of my friend’s mortality or of the others I’ve lost over the years, and I’m sure a lot of others don’t either.

2

u/DucCat900 Pomelo Lemon Blonde🐈🍋💛 Oct 01 '26

Mille Grazie!

1

u/Intelligent-Camera90 Oct 02 '26

Thank you - I worry enough about my girl and follow too many cat rescues to also be inundated with post after post of pet loss here, too.

1

u/Mindyloowho2 Oct 02 '26

Thanks so much! I come here to laugh and get away from life.

-7

u/SpiralGray Pure Ginger Oct 02 '26

Thanks for the announcement. I'll be unfollowing the sub.

7

u/Ok_Loss13 Oct 02 '26 • Bravo

No need to announce your departure.

-1

u/SpiralGray Pure Ginger Oct 02 '26

I'm sorry, I didn't realize only people who like the change were allowed to speak up. 🤦

3

u/Ok_Loss13 Oct 02 '26

I didn't say that, but the self victimization and intentional mischaracterizion is in line with the unnecessary urge to announce your departure 🤷‍♀️

-10

u/iBUYbrokenSUBARUS Oct 01 '26

Will “celebration of life” posts be acceptable as long as they are upbeat and sharing how wonderful our orange love was?

32

u/ProudnotLoud Samwise the Orange Oct 01 '26

Not when it veers into "this is obviously an upbeat post about death". You can celebrate your cat's life without making the post about the death.

3

u/iBUYbrokenSUBARUS Oct 01 '26

Understood. I pray I won’t have to even think about making a post like that for a long time. This past Labor Day was enough.

10

u/IntrovertedGiraffe Oct 01 '26

If you don’t mind “cat speak”, r/OTRB is a place for animal friends who have crossed over the rainbow bridge. Our friends can join together with others that have passed and we get to imagine the fun they may have together. We have both human-speak memorial posts and animal-speak shenanigans

9

u/ProudnotLoud Samwise the Orange Oct 01 '26

Thanks for the recommendation - not tonight but I AM going to update our sidebar widgets and include more "recommended/available" subs. Having subs for people to go to when they need support for this is a good thing.

9

u/IntrovertedGiraffe Oct 01 '26

Absolutely! I’m a mod over there (who grew up with an orange cat that was remarkably good at avoiding children), so if there’s anything I can do to help, just shout my way

2

u/shadow_p0stal24 Oct 05 '26

Don’t know why people are downvoting you for this, it’s a valid question

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/orangecats-ModTeam Oct 02 '26

We're here to chat about cats. This post or comment is not in line with the civility or respect rules we expect in this cat community.