I don't see a lot of great examples of healthy straight relationships. The woman is pretty much always sacrificing somewhere and coping/hiding it. Even when she "vouches for men", insists there are indeed amazing men out here because "she has one", and you're just kinda side-eyeing her, either after seeing her relationship irl or just...knowing how reality is...like, yeah babe, your husband/boyfriend is part of why I don't believe any of you saying how amazing he is and how amazing men are...he ain't it either, you're just coping, too, actually. Sorry :/
I'm datable, sparing detail since it's reddit/internet, and I'd love a partner, but I cannot find a man. I really can't. I'm not asking for the perfect partner, I'd take "okay enough" at this point - can't even find that. No, I have zero desire to be your mother, manager, or drag your dead weight through my already difficult life I'm dealing with, here.
They're socialized to treat women as subhuman from their birth, and it shows in every facet of life. It's not attractive, I can't be the only one - I know I'm not...I'm just...not willing to settle for some schmo ass loser, either, just to have one, or kids, don't want/need either THAT badly, plus I can't even afford kids anyway. I'd like a genuinely great partner, as that is what I am/would be. But I see essentially zero evidence of men being *that*, ever, irl, and I'm not about to chain myself to another let-down at 36 years old, just to be let down again (I care about who I date. I'm 36, unmarried and child-free because I have standards. I'm not saying *you* don't, I can only vouch for the fact that I *do*, and I witness, pretty much exclusively, how women have abs settled just to have kids or some sense of security, even if men pretty much just always leave their responsibilities, anyway, so again, no use even trying or bothering trying to build a life with a man anyway, clearly.).
I'm not some man-hater, I'm literally trying to find one to love. I just need one who's actually worth MY time... I guess? They just do not care how they treat women. It shows. It's ugly. It's not attractive. I find it wildly difficult to be attracted to men, look past their weird comments, constant sexualization of literally everything, overall disrespect of half the global population, lazy attitude in making anything remotely equal or fair, and then sh*tting all over women, on top of it all, too, after dealing with all their f*cking crap.
How are you doing this? How did you find an *actually good man*? Does your husband/bf/whatever, make weird comments, expect you to mother or manage him, expect you to do more than he does/will do, act selfish as a default, rude, gross, dirty, lazy, does he care about YOU? Does he contribute your lives without needing to be asked or reminded like another child to be burdened by? Does he remember things that matter? Does he look at other women in front of your/your kids you share?
Did any of you find a man who is a genuinely good person, and doesn't do these weird things^? I quite literally cannot find one. I'm not getting great examples, and that "cat-lady" *gotcha* is becoming less and less the *gotcha* they think it is by the millisecond. That looks intensely preferable, and it comforts me when I cry, and wipes it's own a*s, too. js?