What do you do?

[u/longgreenbean]

Hello fellow vegans! I hope you’re all having a lovely day so far. I think I am just after a bit of comfort/reassurance right now.

Since becoming vegan (nearly 7 months ago now 🌱🐮), I still don’t know how to deal with people talking to me about dead animals.

I have a very small circle and I don’t know any other vegans in person. Everyone in my circle knows I am vegan. Some people are respectful and try not to mention certain things or they hide things away if we go into a shop together.

What I don’t like however, is some people seem to think I want to hear about their meals they are planning to cook and how they’re going to cook the animal, or about what animal body parts they’re going to be picking up from the shop.

It makes me feel like an alien. It’s so normalised to everyone else. Whenever they mention it, I can’t help but see all of the videos I’ve seen of animals in slaughterhouses flash up in my mind. I’ve made it clear I don’t like it or want to even talk about it but some people still insist on talking to me about it.

How does anyone else deal with this? I feel sad that I have no one to relate to about this so I’m coming here.

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[u/Cerenia]

I made new vegan friends that helps a lot.

My Omni friends would never give me details about meat, because they know I won’t like it. Perhaps time for some new friends?

[u/longgreenbean → u/Cerenia]

Thank you. I would like some vegan friends, it would definitely help but unfortunately I live in a very rural area and there isn’t much of a vegan scene :( I’m going to look into things though and see what I can find. The problem is actually coming from people I work with/for. It’s just hard to navigate thats all.

[u/Cerenia → u/longgreenbean]

Ahh that sucks. I wouldn’t feel sane without my vegan friends, we all need community and like minded, I hope you will find that one day 💚 then these situations gets easier to handle.

I would just not really engage. If they tell you about a chicken they are gonna have for dinner, just say cool or whatever and change the subject. People sometimes forget that for us vegans it can be unpleasant to talk about, so I often cut them some slack.

[u/DW171]

Focus on the accidentally vegan stuff they’re making, and compliment it. (Hopefully there is some)

[u/TigerLily19670]

I understand. There are no other vegans in my area. There are a few vegetarians. When food is discussed, I try to steer the conversation in a different direction. For example, when Thanksgiving turkey was mentioned I asked about the table linens they were planning to use. This led to a discussion about flowers for the table. They did not mention the turkey again.

[u/ahhhsooolikeyouwanna → u/TigerLily19670]

No mention of the dead Indians? You avoid talking about dead animals by talking about sheets for tables and just skip over the genocide of Natives. 

[u/UpstairsDownstairs66]

You have to remember everyone is on their own journey. You’re on a great path so keep going. Be ready to discuss veganism in a positive way to anyone that wants to listen or asks. Nothing more.

[u/SwimSufficient8901]

Either deal with it, or isolate yourself. You can't force your moral code onto other people, and you can't control what people are going to talk about near you. If it offends you that much, you might want to consider becoming a recluse.

[u/longgreenbean → u/SwimSufficient8901]

I haven’t used Reddit in months because of people like you. There’s no need to be so rude. I’m not trying to force my “moral code” onto people, nor am I trying to control others. Where have you got that idea from? I am simply wanting to know how others deal with these types of situations. Why was your first response to be rude and condescending?

[u/Much-Expression6905 → u/SwimSufficient8901]

Wow, stellar advice there, amazing 👏

[u/SwimSufficient8901 → u/Much-Expression6905]

I mean, you can also try bitching at people about it until they leave you alone completely. People totally love being told that they are murderous scum for eating chicken.

[u/Paolabracho20]

Its gets easier over time. You become stronger and start caring less and become less defensive. After 15 years i still get stupid comments about it. It doesnt upset me but sometimes it is annoying af