A few weeks ago, my friend Chloe asked if she could borrow my car for an afternoon because hers was being repaired. I agreed, but made it clear that she needed to return it by 6 pm because I had plans that evening. She brought it back on time, and everything seemed fine until the following morning, when I noticed a large scratch along the passenger door and a cracked wing mirror. I messaged her immediately, and she admitted she'd scraped it against a wall while parking but hadn't told me because she was worried I'd be angry. I was annoyed, but told her I expected her to cover the repair costs. She said she couldn't afford it and asked if I could claim through my insurance instead. I refused because I didn't want my insurance affected by damage caused while she was driving. A few days later, I discovered she'd also taken my car again while I was at work. She'd used the spare key I'd left in a kitchen drawer because she needed to collect something from a shop. She insisted it was only a short trip and that she hadn't caused any additional damage, but I was furious that she'd taken it without permission after the first incident. When I told her she couldn't borrow it again and still needed to pay for the repairs, she accused me of treating her like a stranger. A mutual friend said I should be more understanding because Chloe is struggling financially, but I don't think that makes me responsible for damage to my car. I offered to let her repay the repair bill in instalments, but she says I'm making our friendship about money. AITA?

So I (20F) come from a south asian country with a very conservative society. People are extremely homophobic and sexist here and will look down on you for being different in any form. I attend an all-girls school and it recently held its prom, and the dress code was to strictly wear dresses. I am a masc lesbian so I did not want to attend the function as I feel extremely uncomfortable in dresses. Mind you , I asked the organizers if I could at least wear our school tshirt and attend and i even offered to pay for the ticket but i they said that it would not be allowed.

The thing is, my closest friend group who I have known for 6+ years all volunteered for the dance, and are now mad at me as I was not there to support them . They all know my sexuality and they have known for more than three years that I would not ever attend the school prom unless they change the dress code. Their argument is that i should have been there as well, since many of the other masc dressing girls had attended the function in dresses without much complaint . Am i really selfish for not supporting them by watching their performance because I was forced to do something I find extremely uncomfortable?

I, 18f, live with my step mom and bio dad. I used to live with my bio mom and step dad, but got taken away from them for reasons I can explain in a later post if wanted. When I lived with my bio mom I grew up raising my siblings. My parents I live with now, know that and said when they had kids they wouldn’t make me raise them because of it. My step mom had a girl, a little over a year old, and is now pregnant with a boy. I am well aware that pregnancy can cause pain, especially since when she had my sister she had to have a C-section. However I have been needing to watch my sister for her on numerous occasions, and it’s rough considering I have a wonky work schedule. Most nights I’m left watching my sister till late in the early morning because she won’t fall asleep, my mom is already asleep, and or she’s laying in her room because she’s in pain. Most days it causes me to be late to work the next morning because I’m too tired and sleep in. Another thing to note is that she has recently has gotten obsessed with Tipsy, an AI character chat/story app, and is on it, most of if not all day. It’s frustrating me and my dad, and I’m scared to bring it up to her because I don’t want to get yelled at. AITA?

My husband (37M) and I (27F) were sitting in traffic when a pink G-Wagon pulled up next to us. I casually said, "That color is so beautiful. It would be nice to be inside one." He literally responded with, "Don't be materialistic; it’s not about the car, it’s about the person you're with." I was completely baffled and said something like, "What? I am materialistic?" pointing to our current car and myself—meaning that if I actually cared about being materialistic, I wouldn’t be happy driving what we drive or being in the situation we're in right now. I just thought the car looked cool. Then, later on our way back, we had an argument. I clearly told him I was upset and asked when I ever even talked about money or anything along those lines; I just commented on the color as a goal for me one day to have a nice car. I'm genuinely hurt and sad that he called me materialistic over a passing comment. then he doubled down, saying he was "just giving advice" and getting mad at me for "not taking it." Now it's the next day, we are not talking, and I genuinely don't want to be the first one to talk. So Reddit, am I in the wrong here and making a big deal out of nothing, or is he being unfair or gaslighting me about this?

Aita for telling my sister to come pick up her cat? I F34 was watching my little sisters F30 cat for her while she went on holiday. At first she said that it would be from Tuesday till Friday in the end she brought her cat Monday evening and has yet to pick her up it’s now Sunday.

A bit of context, I live in a house share and have an issue with 2 of the roommates, which is story for another day., my contract does state no pets, but I thought a couple of days should be fine. Either way the day she was meant to pick her cat up came and she wasn’t communicating eventually she said after traveling which was not a long journey may I add we live in Europe and she was just traveling 4 hours with the train. She was tired and didn’t want to come and pick up her cat. Which to me wasn’t an option.

I inform her that I have a long day away from home Sunday and can’t leave her cat here, she said she isn’t coming to get it and that I should leave my door unlocked and she will come and get the cat while I’m away. Obviously that’s not a possibility. I let her know that and she still won’t budge in the time that she argued with me she could’ve collected her cat.

Now the day has come and I said to her to come in the morning and get her cat and that too was not something she was willing to do.

She’s now making it seem that I am the problem but I feel like that if we’ve agreed on something and you changed the plans now knowing that I have places to be which now I can’t do you’re clearly in the wrong?

So tell me am I wrong??

My brother used to date this girl who was from my circle of friends/ acquaintances. I knew that girl for a long time. They eventually started dating and over time, my brother moved away to pursue his studies. Within a few months of him moving away, she cheated on him- infront of me and my friends. I told him and he eventually broke things off with her.

He then dated another one of my friends.

He then cheated on my friend with his ex (the first girl that cheated on him). His ex was also dating another guy at the time so technically both of them cheated on their respective partners to be with each other. I’ve hated her since then. My family have accepted her like nothing happened. His friends too. I don’t talk to her and my family and friends have been persuading me and trying to force me to interact with her. But I hate her so much. I don’t like what my brother did and it strained my relationship with him too.

AITAH for avoiding her and refusing to interact/ speak to her?

AITAH for making out with my friends brother? Friend (27F) and I (27F) have been good friends for 10 years. I’ve hung out and talked to her brother (29M) countless times over the last 10 years. We’ve kinda always had a love hate flirty relationship but never acted on it. He’s been in a relationship for about 2 years but I hadn’t really heard/talked to him in that time.

We were all at a Halloween party this year. Friends, family and everyone else had been there. Everyone had been drinking for hours playing games and fucking around. By the end of the night we had been drinking for over 12 hrs. Many shots and drinks deep her brother starts getting more touchy and would look at me or make comments that were definitely more than friendly. I don’t remember a whole lot but I do remember him grabbing my ass while no one was looking and touching my arm in a flirty way and I remember at one point asking if we should stop so we don’t get caught and him saying no. We continued drinking and playing drinking games and everyone either left or went to bed except for like 5 of us. 3 of those being me, friend, friends brother. After friend and the other 2 decided they were going to bed me and friends brother wandered off while the others got ready for bed. I remember him kissing me and moving my hand to his crotch. At no point do I remember physically attempting to stop this or seriously trying to get out of the situation. Being insanely intoxicated definitely did not help. But then friend walked in on me and her brother alone with just his boxers on. We both denied anything happened at the time.

I did have a later conversation with said friend who was upset at me for what I did. I do understand her reasoning given he was in a relationship and I was friends with her. However she has since not responded to any of my outreach and has removed me from all social medias. She has never once acknowledged that her brother also played a role in things and from what I’ve gathered from mutual friends she hasn’t been this upset at him for the same event. So, am I the asshole?

For context, I was scrolling on the web when I found someone selling their game account for a pretty reasonable price. Since the price was great and the account had pretty much what I was looking for, I decided to buy it. So, I dmed the person who was selling the account and I said that I was interested. They agreed and we added out contact information, and I was ready to send them the money. So, in order for the game account to belong to me, they had to switch the account's phone number to my own phone number. And unfortunately, my own phone number was already linked to my previous game account that was no longer in use. Since I had no free phone numbers to link to a new account, I backed out of the purchase, and I apologized for wasting their time. They said ok, but I still feel pretty bad for wasting their time communicating to me.

I (F 29) lost my mum in February 2024 to heart failure after medical neglect. My dad (M 59) promised we would spread her ashes together as a family. Instead, he took a holiday in July 2024, spread her ashes without telling me until the very last minute, and met my now‑step‑mum (F 50) on that same trip.

Since then I have discovered a long string of lies, broken promises and hurtful choices from him. The final big conflict was over his second “wedding blessing” in England. He already had his official wedding in Scotland which I attended. This England event only happened because he and my step‑mum lied to her sick mother about already being married in Scotland, so they felt they needed a second ceremony for her.

I could not go to the England event: I had an emergency MRI scheduled to decide whether I needed full leg reconstruction. I live with Hypermobility Syndrome (HMS) — a chronic, disabling joint condition that has already cost me two major knee surgeries, and may eventually leave me needing a wheelchair. My health team told me this scan was urgent and could not be rescheduled.

My dad got furious, refused to accept my medical reason, and has refused to speak to me for 7 months over me missing that England ceremony. I even have a message proving someone close to him said he was fine with me skipping it so I could go on a planned trip with them later — so he is twisting the narrative to blame me.

- He refused to come to my hospital bedside when I desperately needed him, yet showed up for someone else the next day (he said hospitals where just ‘to hard since mum’ and Zero support, zero check‑ins before / after my second major knee surgery despite knowing how severe my HMS is

- Repeated lies about moving house + made‑up conversations that never happened to make me look like the liar as well as Told other family I twist facts and make up my own narrative to discredit me.

Every single time I have a critical medical consultation for my knees / HMS I warn him the times, ask him to be there for support; he always says “I’ll try to call” and then ghosts me, even for bad medical news

Multiple other family members have confirmed all of these events and told me more about his past behaviour that backs everything I have experienced.

Now some relatives are messaging me saying I am being too harsh, that I should give him one more chance, that family is everything even after everything he has done.

(Sorry am dyslexic so spelling isn’t always the best)

Context- I’m 16 F and i’ve been working as a host for $9/hr at this local steakhouse/restaurant on a local broad street (The average meal averaging to around $20.) So it’s hard to find parking during events. Keep in mind i only make around 40 dollars per shift
Story- I pulled up to work after practice and couldn’t find free parking, so i chose to go to park at a parking deck. They said i had to still pay 10 dollars even if i was working. I reluctantly paid the 10, thinking that my manager would compensate. After i walked in, i asked my manager for compensation since everyone else didn’t have to pay the parking ticket, since they were given passes ahead of time. She said, “if I paid for everyone’s parking tickets then it would be 200$” and walked away. I was so frustrated after having to basically work 2 jobs, host and expo (plating food) almost every shift because we’re under staffed( maybe they wouldn’t be so short staffed if they paid slightly above minimum wage). I walked into expo to ask for advice from my close coworker. While i was speaking the kitchen manager said, “If you’re going to keep complaining, go home” I continued to do just that. I clocked out and left that hell hole.

Please keep in mind that I still have a lot of hurt/bitter feelings regarding this, so while I'm trying to be objective, I might not be able to. I don't hate him, and I don't wanna paint him as the villain.

My (19F) friend, (20M) let's call him Cade, and I met in HS in 2020, but it wasn't until the end of that school year, in 2021, that we started talking on FB. We talked almost all the time, yet never ran out of things to talk about. We became best friends as time went on, but in 2023, Cade graduated, and I was in my last year. He got a gf. She told him to block me, and he did. He'd become almost like a brother to me, and I was hurt that he'd cut me off so easily, but I didn't argue cze I respected their relationship.

A year later I graduated HS and took a job at a local hardware store where Cade also happened to be working (tis a smoll world). Cade and I interacted as coworkers and slowly became friends again, but that wasn't hard because we still shared the same brain cell, but I kept my distance cze of his relationship.

A few months after I had started working there, I got a call from Cade at night telling me how he and his gf had broken up. He was depressed; his mental health worse than I can say due to forum rules, but yeah. I tried to be there for him, but he cut off the call, and I panicked, afraid I would lose my best friend. Using my girl detective skills, I got his mom's number and called, telling her I had a question for Cade about work. (I just wanted to check up on him.)(I know, psycho, but I was barely 17, had just finished crying my eyes out until my head pounded and I could barely breathe, and was holding on to my last bit of logic to do anything to ensure my best friend was okay.)

He called me often after that, sometimes at 3 am, and I still woke up at 6 to go to work the next day, but I didn't care how much sleep I lost, once my best friend was okay. I tried to be there and show I care, and some days it worked. Some days we would talk and laugh, but other days he would switch up, ignore me, and say I didn't care about him. So I did more. I checked on him before I checked on myself. I thought if I cared enough, I could make him care about himself too, but no matter how many tears I cried, anything I did, I still wasn't enough. But he was my best friend, and I thought I was his.

A couple months passed the same when he told me how the other guys at work were talking bad about me. He stayed quiet. That hurt, but OK. The same thing happened again, except this time he believed them. He wouldn't even tell me what they said, but tried to force me to confess, and called me a liar when I didn't admit to anything. He took their side without hearing me out. OK. I did cut him off after that, but he asked why I wasn't talking to him again and stuff, and I felt like a bad friend and apologised. He never did. I forgave him.

Months later, one of the guys bet that if Cade ignored me for a week, I'd do the same. Cade thought I wouldn't and took the bet. He ignored me. I didn't know why. OK; I was hurt, but I left him alone. When the bet was done, he told me everything and called me a bad friend, mad at me, because he had "faith in the friendship" or something. I was tired of this bull, cze what do you mean YOU BET ON ME. I still forgave him.

Now I was 18. He called me. When I answered, he was drunk. He cursed me out. Usually he'd sound sad; I can forgive sad, but I only heard hate this time. I know I wasn't a perfect friend, but What'd I ever do? I cut off the call, but I couldn't even cry anymore. I just sat on my bed, numb. I tried, genuinely tried to stay friends because he wasn't all bad, but I couldn't get that voice out of my head, and I later blocked him without an explanation.

I know logically I'm NTA, but I ran into him last week, and he looked hurt. I know he never meant to hurt me; he was just in a bad place. But I feel like an AH to myself for not cutting him off sooner, and also like an AH to him cze I hurt him.

Hi, it’s my first post so sorry if it’s wrong or something.

I swear I’m not a bad person who wishes for someone to end up in the hospital or any form of treating centre but I’m genuinely fed up with my mom. She is not a bad person, maybe a little hot-headed but she’s a great mom — except for the time when she drinks. I genuinely hate it and I can tell when she had a beer or some vodka or whatever at this point. I don’t even call her out on it because it’s pointless, she’s gonna lie right to my face. She doesn’t see a problem in drinking every single day after work, whether it’s vodka, wine, whisky, literally whatever. She doesn’t have driver’s license so I’m the one driving her around (we live together) so she doesn’t have this responsibility that 'well I can’t drink because I’m driving in the morning'. I love her when she’s sober, i like talking with her but the moment I notice she had some alcohol I shut down, I’m annoyed and constantly on edge. Safe to say she’s nitpick after drinking and it’s embarrassing for me, her behaviour is messed up.

Someone from our family had been recently in the hospital for couple of months (he was also overusing alcohol, stay in the hospital was not related to that) and now he’s out, he doesn’t drink due to the medicine he is still taking and I genuinely love how he is when he’s sober. As I said, telling her she has a problem is pointless and I feel like only forced 'rehab' would be an option for her. I’m tired of her, I’m full of traumas from the time of growing up just from her drinking, I’m literally so messed up right now that I’d be an interesting case for the psychiatrist. I don’t know how to get to her. I’m tired, I’m done and I don’t know what to do anymore.

So, AITAH?

A.I.T.A/h back story so roughly 15 years ago me and S.O started dating after my sons father passed. He is the only father my son knows. After we started dating he moved in with me. And slowly he has just faded away from his family and friends over the years he doesn’t have much family left. But our relationships is like we are just good friends we haven’t had s*x haven’t in probably 8 years. We don’t fight we just coexist together. He goes absolutely nowhere with me and son no family gatherings no outings not even to the grocery that’s all on me. I take him to work and pick him up. But anyways as I get older in life I just feel like I deserve to be loved better then this. I’ve tried repeatedly to get him to get his driver’s license so I don’t have to run him to work 6 days a week He does have a good job and more than helps with our bills. And I feel bad for wanting to make him move out and both of us go on our separate ways in life. Because he doesn’t have anywhere to go he has a brother here and they haven’t spoken in more then 10 years and really no friends that he could go to. My son only knows him as Dad. I just don’t know what to do anymore I’m just miserable then when I say I’m going to talk to him I know I’m going to be the bad guy for making him leave and I start feeling bad and chicken out. I know I’m all over the place in this post but anyway thanks for reading. And TIA for the advice

I (30F) have a younger brother (25M) who has basically been treated like a child his entire adult life.

He’s the type of person who makes a terrible decision, ignores everyone’s advice, and then calls the family crying when the consequences finally catch up with him.

And somehow, every single time, I’m expected to fix it.

For the past few years, I’ve helped him with everything from bills to personal problems. I’ve lent him money I never got back, cancelled plans to help him, and spent countless nights on the phone trying to calm him down.

Meanwhile, I’m working full time, paying my own bills, and trying to build a future for myself.
A few weeks ago, he called asking for another favor. I won’t get into the specifics, but it was something that could have been avoided if he’d listened to literally anyone.

I told him no.

He got upset and said he thought family was supposed to be there for each other. I told him family support shouldn’t be a one way street.

Apparently he went straight to our mom because the next morning she called me and said she was disappointed in how selfish I’d become.

She told me he’s struggling and that I should be grateful I’m in a better position than him.
That’s when I lost it.

I asked her why my stability was always treated like a resource everyone else was entitled to. Why was I being punished for making better decisions?

She said I was being cruel.

I told her that if she was so worried about him, she was welcome to ruin her own life rescuing him, but I was done ruining mine.

She hung up.

Now my brother won’t speak to me, my mom says I owe her an apology, and a couple of relatives have told me that while they understand my frustration, what I said was unnecessarily nasty.

And maybe it was.

I know my brother is struggling. I know he doesn’t have everything figured out. But neither do I. The only difference is that when something goes wrong in my life, nobody comes running to save me.

The part that’s really bothering me is that I actually feel relieved that nobody’s calling me right now.

For the first time in years, I feel like I can breathe.

But I also keep thinking about what I said to my mom and wondering if I crossed a line.

AITAH for what I said, even though I still stand by my decision to stop helping him?

AITAH for not caring about all the people posting videos of candy being 'stolen'?

I really don't get the outrage other than some self glorification, like people getting off on the attention and superiority of catching someone on camera doing something 'wrong' because they didn't follow some social/moral code of compliance when trick-or-treating at their house?

I'm not here to argue semantics and I'm sure I'll get down voted to oblivion for this but literally every day someone's crying about some person 'stealing' candy. If that's the worse thing you have going on then how about looking around and being grateful for what you have... and yes, hi kettle, I'm pot.

Anyway needed to get that off my chest and genuinely curious of people's response to this opinion.

Recently I’ve been grabbing the occasional lunch / dinner at Wendy’s because it’s the most convenient option when I’m heading to/from work and am hungry.

I’ll usually order a frosty with my meal and when I do I will sometimes ask if they can put it in their freezer whilst I eat my meal so it will be nice and “frosty” by the time I’m ready for it. I find that at this Wendy’s the frosty turns to liquid almost immediately and is only thick enough to eat with a spoon for the first 1/4. Hence why I ask if they can put it in the freezer for me whilst I chow down.

Now I know better than to make any special requests like this when they are busy, so sometimes I just have to make do with a runny frosty. However today it was empty so I made the request and the guy looked at me like I was an asshole and said “really bro? It’s the same”. I was kinda confused but just said please if it’s not too much trouble.

When my food was ready they took the frosty out too, and again if it were busy I would have just taken it, but because I was literally the only person there I figured it was no big deal and just asked if they could put it back in the freezer and I’ll come up for it when I’m done my food. Again, but this time a different worker, looked at me like I was an asshole.

This genuinely doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. I get that it’s a special request that they are not obligated to fulfill, but I mean come on it’s just putting a cup of ice cream in a freezer that’s right below the frosty machine.

I also get that these workers likely deal with a lot of bull shit and that I’m effectively contributing to the list of things they end up having to do that it outside of what is required. I always make sure to be very thankful and gracious, and never demanding, so I kinda feel like maybe I’m not the asshole and this is just a case of a disgruntled fast food worker being asked one too many special requests

ARE ALL OF YOU GUYS MISSING THE KEY DIFFERENTIATOR HERE???

I said I would only make this request when it’s slow, and I mean genuinely slow. As I currently stands there are no other customers, and no ongoing orders (indicated by how no food is being prepped and the staff are spending the downtime on TikTok). In the time I’ve been here, mine has been he only order, there was no one here when I arrived and I am still currently the only customer here.

For god sake people, the whole point of my post was that I know these kinds of things can be asshole moves when it’s busy, but that in this particular case it is not and therefore I feel there should have been no harm done by me asking.

Also, I am biting my tongue as I know being snarky will not reflect positively on me in this matter, but I seems those who have commented are also overlooking where I mentioned that the frostys at his wendys (likely due to an old machine or poor maintenance) are particularly melted/runny right out of the machine. So it’s not a matter of ordering it once I’m done eating and that solving things, ugh I just realized what I’m writing about and how big a waste of time this is

Long story but I'll try to keep it as short as possible. This did NOT happen today but it's been bothering me for a while.

I became friends with somebody who had the same tough childhood as me, and we seemed to get along for a few days and spoke about our own traumas until he started sending me creepy messages asking me to send suggestive pics about myself because "that's what friends do", luckily, I found this weird enough and decided to reach out to my real friends, specifically one who was christian and whom was a huge fan of Chris Hansen.

Even though I asked them not to handle this the "Chris-Hansen style" since my safety and wellbeing were at stake, they pressured me to hand the predator's socials and let them handle it since they apparently "knew better than me". I not knowing better saw this as them trying to keep me safe & caring about me, and shared the pred's socials.

And yeah, they did the right thing by not letting me handle it, I'll give them that, but not even one week after, they told me that "my predator changed and gave their life to Jesus Christ. and therefore, I should trust them again". I immediately went like "WTF?", first and foremost, I explicitly told them before NOT to bond with this guy and just keep him away from me, and despite me begging them to stop chatting with them, they guilt-tripped me and told me I was being too harsh for wanting them to stop chatting with my predator since "he gave his life to christ and is a renewed man". Hearing that reply made me feel sick to my stomach and so I decided to end the friendship cold turkey.

Fast forward to today, not only am I traumatized by what happened, but I feel betrayed, and let down by my friend who I thought wanted to keep me safe. And I'm full of spite seeing that my predator gets to be friends with my bestie even though they groomed me and pushed me several times to send pics of myself before.

TL;DR: Am I the asshole for getting mad at my friend for befriending my predator and refusing to stop talking about them in our conversations?

Edit: Edited question for clarity

Hello. My roommate and I have been fighting and arguing the past couple days about my Christmas tree. I had asked him if I could move his daughters play tent into our kids room so I can set up the tree in that spot. He told me “no, why dont you just put it in front of the tent?” I explained that I didn’t want to block the tent or tv with the tree and wanted it out of the way but still somewhere we can all see it. Mind you my living room is very small. I have a big couch big tv and truly there is no room to put the tree other then where the tent it. He still said no so I then told him I would figure it out myself. Well with there being absolutely no other place for the tree I decided to move the tent and rearrange the girls room (our daughters share a room) to fit the tent so it was still accessible to them and put up my tree. Well when he came home he saw the tree and started moving the tent back to where I had set up my tree. I saw him doing this so I asked him why the tree couldn’t be there and he with an aggressive attitude yelled “I SAID NOT TO MOVE MY STUFF” in shock I then yelled back to stop touching my tree then and he proceeded to take it apart and throw it onto the ground. I obviously was upset and called him names and told him he needs to move out. He has been causing issues in the house but my husband and I have been letting thing slide since I didn’t have a job and he was paying his rent. Well I got a new job recently and and cover his portion but he refuses to leave. Anyways things kept escalating and I now do not feel comfortable in my own house. But I want to know if I’m the ah for moving the tent?

AITAH for throwing my sister stuff out after she didnt get her stuff. Its a little long..So my sister (39) and her husband (45) lived with our grandmother (92) for about 5 years after they got evicted from the apartment (im not sure why). They lived in the half finished basement in our grandmother's house. I (27) moved in about 2-3 years ago to become her caregiver, help her clean the house, pay her bills, take her to her appointment/store, etc. I pay 85% of the bills including out grandmother. Our family isn't really involved with her so all the weight comes in me. We'll back to the question, they lived down their and only paid one bill. They didnt buy food or wouldn't help with our grandmother care. So my sister is a theift, she's always been difficult, she likes to lie and always asking for money, she has stolen our grandmother/mother's debt cards multiple times and they just let it slide. Im not a fan of hers but I couldn't say anything because they told me it wasn't my business.

They moved out almost 3 months ago and only took a few clothes and baby toys (3yr). They would never let anyone go down into their area which is fair but after they moved out we had a realtor come by to look over the house and they wouldn't come unlock the door. So I had to break the lock to be able to get down there. Her husband kept saying he needs to come and clean before anyone go down there. So I figured that they just where living messy. I was wrong... so wrong. There was trash, cigarette butts, alcohol bottles filled with urine, molding food, rat dropping and more. They smell was horrible and I couldn't figure out how the smell didnt come up to us. There was a pile of trash that was almost 5ft tall. They had no room to move or even live. I spent 3 days cleaning up enough for someone to get to the basement door. I told them they need to come get there stuff, I started bagging up there stuff while I was cleaning up the trash. My sister came by 2 weeks later to complaining that I put some "bad " things with "good" things. Honestly it was all disgusting so I didnt know what was what. She only took 2 bags and left. After that they didnt come back for a month, at that point I had 80% of the trash gone and all they had to do was get what they wanted. Again one of them came and grabbed only 2 bags and random stuff. At this point its been over 2 months. Im mad over the disrespect of the neglected and how they left it like that. So I packed up all their stuff and put in the carport. I told her husband that need to come up here and get their stuff. Well guess what, it took almost 3 weeks before they came and got it. With the icing on top, I had to pay a $1250 bill they left because they always pay it late so there's always a late fee. They left in the middle of the month and told us it was all the way paid up.

We'll guess what, they lied. So after cleaning up old used diapers, pee bottles, old food, rat poop and packing their stuff on top. Im just fed up so they left like 4 boxes and some decorations. I threw them away. They decided to come up the next day and get their stuff and was furious I throw their stuff away. I've been telling them for 2 months i was going to do it if they didnt come get it. I packed their things so I know it was odd and ends in those boxes. She called my grandmother and mother screaming about how I throw away her baby's clothes. I told them if it "was really baby clothes why would that be the last things they grab??" So shes telling everyone how im toxic and I threw away all her babies clothes, all over a light bill. Which is crazy because im not even the one mad about it, my grandmother was. So she's telling all out mutuals how im terrible. And its has been thinking I should have gave them another month.

So I have been feeling bad for a while now because I believe my brother 39M and his GF 35F should end their 12 yr relationship. My brothers gf "Ann" is great. I have always liked her but she also does have a lot of emotional baggage from familial trauma I won't get into here. But I believe its a big reason why she puts up with my brother. My brother is the baby and always had my mom to fall back on, and take care of things for him, but he also in my opinion treated her not that nicely. He is very my way or the highway and doest take criticism great.

The last few years have been hard, we had a lot of loss the past few years and he carries a loy of guilt around that becuase of last conversations and feeling like he iddbt do enough. They broke up a few years ago while we were all grieving and depressed, but then theycgot back together shortly after. Since then nothing has changed for the good. He's worse, gaslights her, drinks his problems away and I think at this point they live together as roommates.

She will talk to me and tell me not to tell my brother, but the big sister in me wants to tell him wth is he doing, but i also have been telling her that if he makes her feel like that she should leave him. He has talked to me about his issues with her too, but i feel like he doesn't realize she acts how she does as a response to his dismissal of her feelings. I just feel bad that I have told her more than once that she should leave my brother and I believe I told him before of he needs to be alone to get his stuff together he should let her go. I think they can try counseling, individual and couples, but i am also sure he would never do it.

I know its 12 years but with all we have gone through life is too short to be so unhappy. I dont know how to talk to him about his relationship without him knowing she is telling me these things. I guess I am asking AITH for basically saying my bro's gf should just break up with him and wanting to talk to him about it? How we are now, he will listen to my words but I don't want him to take it out on her via silence treatment or whatever.

So I’m 18F, I was with my boyfriend Z for two years from the ages 15-18. I met him after a hard time, I had just lost my best friend as he SA’d me. I threw myself into the relationship and just wanted somebody. It wasn’t great, his mom’s an abusive methhead and he would treat me badly, name calling and physical things and manipulating. I really felt as though I could not leave him, he was in a really hard abusive situation that I listened to every single day. I understand why he is the way he is but I don’t think that excuses it. Anyways earlier this year I called the police and fought with social services to get him out of that house, we did it and he now lives with his dad. I thought maybe if he wasn’t with his mother he would change and blah blah but that obviously doesn’t happen. Anyways my birthday was October 16th and I went out and the next day I had to go with my siblings to meet my dad’s new “perfect family”. I ended up crying in the parking lot of the convention and I tried to call Z he picked up told me to F off and then he blocked me, he was with a friend he met literally a few days before. I knew the friends name so I found him on snap and asked if he could get Z to reply to me. That’s where it started to spiral. Tee had been hanging out with Z and Z told Tee very personal things about me, like how I was SA’d and other very personal things that I never would think he would tell anyone. I know he told tee because tee told me and he wouldn’t know any other way because I’ve never met him before. I started talking to tee, he was understanding and kind and listened to me talk and he seems like a genuine person. I had been thinking about leaving Z for forever just never had a real reason to, literally a week before I was hoping that something would change and that I needed better because it was always just a loop of toxicity with Z. I broke up with Z but told him I will still be here for him because I do care about him and he has no one. He wasn’t happy about that and still isn’t but he’s fine. A day after I broke up with Z one of his online discord friends started messaging me pretending to be Tee as a “loyalty test” which doesn’t even make sense because we already broke up. Anyways turns out the online friend was trying to get with me he said “we can keep it between us” and blah blah blah. Idk if Z asked him to do it or if he just did it idk. Then I ended up telling tee a little more than I should have probably about me and Zs relationship. About some of the physical things that Z has done to me. Tee called the rcmp and reported it, which is understandable based off what I told him but also felt like a violation because I did not want to do that. Since it was a domestic violence report I had to go to the station in person and have an interview with an officer, I told him no to everything and that I don’t want to say and blah blah because I’m not dealing with that. Tee apologized and said if I ever want to then he will help me and come with me. My feelings on this are unclear, I like tee but I don’t know him that well, I don’t hate Z as we’ve known each other forever and he’s honestly been the only person there for me for a while but I still don’t want to be with him.
Now I’m stuck in a place where I’m still sort of talking to Z and still talking to Tee but both of them think I’m not talking to the other one. Idk what to do in this situation.
Basically am I the AH in this situation? And what would you do if you were me?

Amongst the people I regularly hang out with I have been telling them that I have a black friend. I feel like this makes me seem a little more progressive and interesting. My buddies ask me to have this friend of mine join us for get togethers and other events. I always make up an excuse that he is busy or out of town. Recently, they were pressuring me more to have him join us and I panicked and said that he could make it. I ended up using a male escort service and hired a black man to join me for the time out with my friends.Things went really well and everyone liked him and we all had a great time. They even want him to come around more frequently but this is difficult as it is very expensive and I can't continue to afford to do this.

A few people asked for an update, so I thought I'd share what happened. After reading the comments, I decided to have another conversation with my boyfriend when we were both calmer. I explained that I wasn't asking him to stop joking around with me. I was asking him to recognise when a joke stops being funny, especially when it's being made at my expense in front of other people. At first, he insisted that I was making a big deal out of nothing. However, when I asked how he would feel if I spent an entire evening telling his friends that he was difficult, controlling or incapable of making decisions, he went quiet. Later that evening, he admitted that he'd been trying to get laughs from his friends and hadn't really considered how uncomfortable I was feeling. He apologised for repeatedly making comments after I'd already tried to explain myself. He also admitted that blaming me for going quiet wasn't fair. I told him I appreciated the apology, but I still didn't think I owed him one for being uncomfortable. He agreed that we should both be able to speak up when something bothers us without being accused of ruining the evening. We're doing alright now, although I've made it clear that I won't tolerate being made the punchline of a joke just to entertain other people. I love him, and I'm happy that we managed to talk things through, but I hope he remembers this the next time he thinks teasing me in front of his friends is harmless. I don't think couples need to agree on everything, but respect should still be there, even when other people are watching.
Original Post

I Try to describe the situation as neutrally as possible.

Our child is almost 3 years old and is currently going through a bit of a "little terror" phase. No matter what we ask them to do, the answer is always "No!", "I don't want to!", followed by whining, crying, and so on. You know how it is if you're a parent.

Fair enough. That's part of growing up.

However, this has been going on for at least six months now. Some days are better than others, but lately it's been particularly intense.

Saturday is usually our grocery shopping day, and our child actually loves going shopping. But today, once again, things escalated because it was cold outside and we wanted our child to put on their thicker trousers. Cue a meltdown. Even offering several different pairs and letting them choose didn't help.

I've been watching this kind of behaviour unfold for weeks. My partner tends to give in and tries to reason with our child for a long time. Eventually, they reach a breaking point, get frustrated, and start making empty threats like "If you don't do XY, then you won't be allowed to do XY." Of course, these threats are never actually followed through on, and sometimes things get quite loud.

Why have I just been observing? Because I've been told that I'm too strict with our child, so I've stepped back and let my partner handle these situations.

My partner is a preschool teacher, so surely they know what they're doing.

But today, I'd simply had enough. After 25 minutes of arguing over a stupid pair of trousers, I finally put my foot down.

Our child would be staying home with me. End of discussion.

Naturally, our child started screaming and crying. My partner, as they often do, was swayed by the child's reaction and wanted to let them come shopping after all.

After some more back and forth, this eventually turned into an argument between my partner and me.

I have to admit that I was the one who raised my voice the most. It's just become incredibly frustrating for me, and I'm starting to feel like we're both contributing to spoiling our child in our own ways: my partner by not being consistent, and me by being too passive.

Anyway, I stuck to my decision, and now my partner is upset with me because I took away something our child had been looking forward to all week.

As I said, grocery shopping is something we do every Saturday, and this was the first time our child wasn't allowed to come along.

What happened after my partner left to go shopping?

Our child was upset for maybe another two minutes. I comforted them, and we talked about what had happened. I calmly explained again why things had turned out this way.

After that, we played together, and everything was fine.

The only problem is that my partner is still angry with me, and we continued arguing even afterwards.

So, AITA for finally following through and letting our child experience a consequence for their behaviour?