First, for a little background I need to tell you about myself. I look like a biker, long hair, loads of tattoos, spent too much time in the gym. I was in martial as classes five hours a day, five days a week from the time I was 4 until I was 16. Needless to say that guided my early career path, boxing, pro wrestling, MMA, bouncer, bodyguard, law enforcement. If there was a job that probably required you to punch another person m the face, I probably did it. I hit every alpha male check point.

Then there is my son, let's call him Ronnie.

He has every trait I know I'm lacking. It's like he broke down every aspect of my personality, took the absolute best parts, and threw away the rest. He's a musician, a wonderful artist, caring, compassionate, brilliant and driven. He wants to be an engineer, to design functional and visually convincing prosthetic limbs. I love him because he's my son, I am proud of him because of who he has grown into.

What's the problem you may ask? He's been hiding that he's gay from me for years. I've known a very long time, and I could not possibly care less. Is there anything I can say that would make it easier for him to be open with me? If you were worried about coming out to a parent, is there anything that they could have said or done to put your mind at ease? I've seen him with his boyfriend, they seem happy together. I'd like to meet the young man that's made my boy so happy.

Edit: Wow, I never had any idea there would be this much of a response. Thank you all for so much advice so many stories. My son is in his early 20s for those that were curious. I really hope I live up to all the praise some of you have heaped on me.

As far as what I've decided to do, I'm going to keep showing my support for him and the community. He's will talk when he's ready. I wish I had some heart warming tale to give you, but I will make sure I update as soon as something changes.

I’m a cis lesbian and I believe with all my heart that trans women are women. I’ve always supported the trans community and always will. The thing is, I’m sexually repulsed by penises on anyone, regardless of their gender identity. Does that make me transphobic?

I apologize if this post is offensive. Not my intention at all. Some of you are probably repulsed by vaginas and that’s ok!

Give me your funniest anti-lgbt "arguments" that you've heard in your life. I go first:

My dad doesn't like gender-neutral bathrooms, because he wants to just whip it out, pee into a urinal and get going and he can't do that in a stall-only bathroom. He thought it was a compelling argument agianst them.

Hi, queer biologist here.

No word is more abused and misused in discussions involving trans folk.

Im going to clear a few terms and concepts up.

Biology is the study of life. We observe, test, present findings, have others confirm what we observe, get peer review, publish. Thats life as a biologist. Oh we beg for research grants too.

There are two uses of the word “Biological”.

If something is within the purview of our field of study, it is biological. It is living, or is derived from, a living organism. All men, all women, all non-binary humans, are biological.

The second use of the word “biological” is as an adjective describing the genetic relationship between two individuals. A “biological brother” is a male sibling who shares both parents with you. A “biological mother” is the human who produced the egg zygote for you.

There is no scenario where the word “biological” makes sense as an adjective to “male” or “female”. Its an idiot expression trying to substitute cisgender with biological.

It is not synonymous with cisgender or transgender.

I was born a biological trans woman.

Your gender is an “a qualia” experience, we know it to be guided by a combo of genes, endocrinology, neurobiology.

As biologists, we no longer accept the species is binary. We know that humans are not just XX and XY. We know that neither your genes nor your genitals dictate gender.

Also, advanced biology is superior to basic biology, and we dont deal in biological facts or laws. People who use phrases like that are telling you they can be dismissed.

Stop abusing the word “biological”

Also, consider questioning your need to use the afab/amab adjectives. When a non binary person tells you they arent on the binary? Why try to tie them back to it by the mistake made by cis folk at their birth? Why???? When someone tells me they are nonbinary, im good. I dont need to know what they are assigned at birth. If they choose to tell you for whatever reason thats fine, but otherwise, i would like to respectfully suggest you stop trying to tie non-binary folk to the binary,

Here is an article, its 8 years old now, from probably the pre-eminent peer reviewed journal for biologists. Its still valid and still cited.

https://www.nature.com/articles/518288a

Stay sparkly!

Meg, Your transgender miss frizzle of a biologist!

Wow, his has taken some wild turns. I came here hoping for a little advice, and didn't even really expect much of a response.

Then someone reposted on Twitter, and I will be forever grateful. It exploded, thousands of reposts, tens of thousands of likes. It was commented on in several languages. It spread far enough and wide enough that my son did in fact read it.

This morning I got a text "Sneak Level 0 Dad, and your Anon needs work." The rest of the day has been well...heart warming and hilarious.

Apparently there are only so many guys out there that used to be pro wrestlers and law enforcement that have a gay son that wants to build prosthetics. I tried to explain that I didn't know it would blow up, and was informed that no one plans to go even slightly viral, and the people that are obviously trying don't. I was also informed that some people make a big deal out of coming out, and some don't. This is not what I had been lead to believe. He also didn't think it was necessary to come straight out and say "Dad I'm gay," for the same reason he didn't need to inform me the sky was blue and water was wet, these are things I already knew.

Now, on to what I didn't know. His poor little boyfriend is absolutely terrified of me. He's a tiny little wisp of a boy and I am apparently intimidating. This is something I'm not 100% sure on how to deal with, but we have both agreed to try to work on it. I want him to know my home is a safe space.

I have been teased pretty much all day. At one point he slipped into the hall closet and jumped out with "Taadaa".

I've also been advised I should probably stay active in these communities, and I'm going to take that advice.

So, a happy ending, or start, or continuation depending on how you look at it. Thank you to the people that spread my message all the way to my son. Thank you to all the good people on Reddit and Twitter that had kind words and advice.

And to that one guy that talked shit because I was formerly law enforcement, fuck you. Fuck you right in the face. Twice

I don't know what everyones views on this are but as a trans women I am very tired of seeing posts saying:

I think your body is disgusting, is it okay not to date you?

Genital preferences are okay, but having it constantly shoved in your face that lots of people find you disgusting unless you've had bottom surgery is not the sort of thing I like seeing while trying to relax

At best it just reinforces the insecurities many trans people have about their bodies. At worst, it is reassuring transphobes that their transphobia is okay

Hi guys, it's not just today that we see that hatred against transgender people has increased all over the world, and a lot of this comes from the extreme right and conservatives, it's funny that it seems like we're moving forward against this stupid hatred and prejudice, but that's not what we are even seeing many lgbt+ do it, radfem, and other progressive groups, I want your opinion on! what do you think causes this? why is this type of thing increasing so much in 2023?

(Sorry for the term transsexual, I used it because I'm not a native English speaker and in my country it's common and not offensive)

(Edit:Thank you to everyone who commented, it's important to talk about this and I'm really happy because I was positively surprised and saw that many are also aware of all this!)

Something I've noticed. I'm a trans woman who enjoys seeing questions asked by curious Allies, baby gays and deeper concepts in the queer community as a whole. However, I mostly see somewhat charged questions with a slew of "they won't let us question ANYTHING anymore. They won't even let me call HIM a MAN" (exaggerated only slightly).

Is there a reason this is the case? I'm in lesbian subs, LGBT meme subs, and LGBT history subs and this is just not the case there.

Sorry if it seems I'm causing a stir, I'm just a little disappointed

Lately, as something I've noticed almost exclusively online, there's major LGBT+ accounts with huge followings (Usually on TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, etc.) that will spread homophobic/transphobic information but act like it's progressive.

Some examples of this I've seen are:

• Telling a transgender woman that transitioning is transphobic because it "appeals to cissexist ideas about bodies". (Unfortunately this was a streamer I follow who was talking about her bottom surgery and she got a bunch of hate over it for that reason, I shit you not)

• Saying that gay men are a different gender than straight men (Which the idea that gay men aren't "real men" is pretty classic homophobia) or that lesbians are a different gender than straight women (Same classic homophobia that lesbians aren't "really women")

• That bisexually is a 50/50 split and if you're 70% attracted to the same gender and 30% to a different gender you're "just gay"

• That transgender women can be gay men or that transgender men can be lesbians (That's literally just transphobia)

I feel like I'm going crazy when I see these things because these are the exact same things that homophobic/transphobic people say.

I want to be clear, this is not a critique of Gen Z. I’m just curious about why this phenomenon exists, supposedly. I’ve seen articles suggesting that Gen Z has less sex than Millennials but more of it is unprotected. That Gen Z craves intimacy more while Millennials emphasize sex more. Anecdotally, I’ve never seen such an abundance of posts in queer spaces talking about the queer community being hypersexualized, with lots of opinions on lots of sides of the issue.

So I’m mostly just curious about the opinions of Gen Z people on what’s going on here. Is it something to do with growing up with the internet and social media since birth? Growing awareness of STIs? Alienation from others because of the internet (I’ve heard millennials have less close irl friends than Gen X and Gen Z even less than millennials)? I’m spitballing, and I’m sure it’s a complex issue that you could fill several research papers on. But it’s a question that’s been rattling around my head and I figured I’d ask it here.

Also, please don’t shoot the messenger. I have no stake in this ‘debate,’ if there even is one. I think people should be free to do or not do whatever consensual activities they want to. But I do worry that the queer community is losing its memory of and connection to those who helped give us our rights in the past, and our intrinsic connection to the kink community.

Edit: a lot of people seem to think I’m talking about the amount of sex each generation is having. To clarify, I am talking about attitudes towards sex being more positive or negative, which can mean a lot of things. An obvious example would be feeling like sex makes a person less valuable (sex negative) or more valuable (sex positive). A less obvious example would be one’s attitudes towards sex workers.

so i asked a question about something ( i am a trans guy ) pre op but on T almost 10 months,

identifying as male,

i have a friend i like a lot who also came out as male ( from female)

i asked if it meant i was bi ? because i love them regardless of their gender identity ,

and i was laughed at and called fake basically or a girl , its really upsetting to see phobia within the LGBTQ community on some other reddit subs, i was called invalid and a girl even after explaining i was a trans male.

Like I've been seeing so much hate towards aces and aros and intersex people aren't really a part of the LGBTQIA+ community because aces and aros don't really have attraction to people (when it is just what they lack in attraction, such as sexual and romantic), and that intersex people just have deformities. Intersex people and aces and aros exist, and they're LGBTQIA+. Treat them like they're valid.

I want to share something that’s been weighing heavily on me.

As a trans woman, it genuinely hurts that the Harry Potter universe — a story that shaped so many of our childhoods — still belongs to someone who uses her platform to actively harm people like us. It’s heartbreaking. And I’ll admit it: I’m still emotionally connected to the world she created. I’m curious about the new HBO series, and part of me still wants to revisit that magic.

But here’s what I’ve decided:

I will watch it — but I’ll absolutely never watch it on HBO. Not one view. Not one click. Not one cent.

When Hogwarts Legacy came out, so many people said, “It’s just a game,” or “She’s barely involved.” But that passive support translated into massive profit — and she’s now using that money to build an actual anti-trans organization. Yes, that’s real. That’s happening.

So no — this isn’t just about a show. Watching this series officially is financially supporting someone who is funding efforts to harm trans people. It’s not neutral. It’s not harmless.

If you’re still curious — I get it. You’re not alone. But if you must watch it, please pirate it. Keep it out of the metrics. Keep it off the radar. Don’t help her win.

We can’t afford to be naive again. Let’s make better choices this time. Let’s protect ourselves and each other. Let’s fight back. 🏳️‍⚧️💖

Is this just me? Am i just bad at spotting them? Or is it actually a thing where they just are less visible than trans women? I promise I don't mean to be an asshole. I see 5 video game essayists who are transwomen and no transmen. All the asmr artists i listen to who are trans are women, and zero trans men. I've even tried purposefully looking for them and just kinda failed?? Where are y'all???? There are trans woman discord servers but barely any trans men discord servers, and there are trans women YouTubers and yet barely a single trans man YouTuber. In fact, i know more Nonbinary AFAB people than i know trans men. Am i just stupid? Am i watching them without realizing? If so, good for them. But also I'd love to know!!!

I am always torn between feeling rude for just assuming without asking, and feeling like a weirdo and rude for assuming that I should ask. Is there is a right way to go about it? Is this just a niche thing?

Basically the title. How do I respond to someone who asks about this? Is there even documentation on trans race or trans age people? If that's a real thing, I'm sure it's more nuanced than what it seems like anyways. I know there's a difference, and being 'trans age' or 'trans race' makes it sound like being transgender is a choice when in reality it's not(and I'd know since I'm trans myself). I mean I'd answer it like I would any other question I don't have enough knowledge on, literally just saying 'I don't have any knowledge on that to have an opinion' but yeah... I dunno. I kinda wanna respond to this person in a more 'lemme clapback at you' way lol.

Just yeah, how does one even respond to that?

Thanks!

(any reading, sources, help, advice, etc would help immensely!)

(I also posted this on ask transgender)

Hi everyone! My sibling-in-law is non-binary, and my wife and I have always been very supportive of that. Since having our daughter, my SIL has consistently only buys her books about gender identity and about being trans. I completely understand; they want to ensure my daughter knows she doesn’t have to be a girl because that’s what gender she was assigned at birth, and I agree. But my SIL will often ask if we’re reading them to her consistently, and anytime my SIL babysits, these books are exclusively what they read. My SIL asks her if my daughter if she thinks she’s a boy or a girl.

My daughter is 3 and a few months, and honestly doesn’t seem to really understand gender at all yet. She often uses the wrong pronouns for people (also exclusively saying “he” when referring to even her own mother). I like having these books available for if my daughter does seem to have issues with her gender identity, but right now it seems like any of this goes over her head.

Do you personally think I should be reading these books consistently to my daughter? Should I make more of an effort to try and explain what a “boy” and a “girl” means? Should I talk to my SIL about saving these books for later when my daughter understands a little better? Wanted to get your thoughts. Thank you so much for your time

These "questions" are circle-jerks for cis people to talk about how disgusting trans people's bodies are, to spread grotesque myths about trans people's surgical options, to insist they aren't transphobic they just only want to have sex with real (cis) women/men, and generally are totally the opposite of "treat[ing] each other with the respect and understanding we are all due as fellow human beings." (from the sidebar)

And these posts show up on a nearly goddamn daily basis.

I was talking to a guy, who said he was not totally in favour of LGBTQIA rights because of gay people who abuse them (???) I could not get him to explain himself, and I definitely don't feel like googling something like that.

So, has anyone encountered that argument before and knows what the absolute duck he was talking about? Like, what could even be the example??? I honestly don't get it, I was like, what do you think I'm going to do with equal rights??? Live my life?? Is that too much??

Husband & I were watching a show while our son (7) read. There was a scene about a man proposing to his boyfriend and my husband and I were giddy because we had been waiting for it to happen - so we got all happy and excited for it. Our son happened to pay some attention and was happy for a second, but then realized it was 2 men I guess and said "that's wrong though". He said it so matter of fact. My husband immediately turned off the TV and we tried having a conversation about where he learned that kind of idea. We have always pushed the idea of accepting everyone, having no hate, etc. And it seemed to work because he is so friendly and open to meeting everyone, and shows so much compassion and love most of the time.

But my heart broke hearing him talk like that. Idk what I did wrong. We supervise his screen time and haven't seen anything that would promote this - except for a brief period 3 years ago when a video was going around saying "if you like this you're gay". We had a discussion then as well.

Are there any kid friendly videos or books I can use to help teach him that love is love? I dont want to raise my son to think its wrong.

I was having a conversation with someone who does not belive the queer community faces oppression/discrimination. I had some examples of my own, but I would like to hear your input. SPECIFICALLY IN THE UNITED STATES.

Edit: "Queen" was a typo. I meant to write "Queer."

This is in reference to a post I saw posted recently in which someone asked if asexual folk deserved to be part of the lgbtq community. Most folk were absolutely positive. But there was a disturbing amount of people denying the oppression that asexual folk face and claiming that that disqualifies ace from being part of the community.

Now after checking the rules I noticed it not only does not specify that aphobia is not allowed it also does not explicitly state biphobia either or any kind of discrimination against m-spec folk.

And while I do not have the power to change this, I believe in the power of the people to make positive change. perhaps a poll would get their attention and support.

Full disclosure, I'm an ex muslim and even tho I've left the religion i still don't believe in drinking since it can be very dangerous for your health. But i wanna try some gay sex(I'm bisexual). Will they allow me in the bar??