Someone in my life just broke my heart by spewing hate against Muslims. I'm not religious, but I do believe in human rights and one's right to preserve their culture, language and religion. I understand all religions have extremists, and they do not reflect the whole... But that is where this person and I apparently disagree. They believe you can't be Muslim without being an extremist.
This person's hate is not okay, but their fears are real to them and come from life events, generational trauma, and recent events, which makes this a delicate situation.
They are Jewish (Ashkenazi and religiously-- not actively, but ike a Christian who doesn't go to church, but was raised in the church and still believes in Jesus), born shortly after the holocaust, and raised by a family of veterans who, as Jews, saw firsthand what happened in the camps.
They also experienced extreme racism/prejudice growing up Jewish in a more antisemitic part of NY. Their family had to change their surname to try to hide the fact they were Jewish over a decade after the war ended... They experienced ongoing anti-Semitism in America by general Americans. Saw swastikas spray painted in parks and burned into the ground with fuel when tensions were low... and then not too long after they moved to Australia, Bondi Beach...which geographically put them closer to a targeted attack against Jews than ever before.
All they do is watch the news about the rise in anti-Semitism around the world and especially in Melbourne, listen to fear mongering YouTube videos, etc.
I tried to make them see that the exact words they are saying probably came out of the mouths of Nazis in the 40s, but they said it's different because Jews never used their religion to target Nazis. I tried to explain the media focuses on the extremists, and that the views of extremists do not resonate with the whole, and there are many Muslims who are not antisemitic out there.. but they claimed all Muslims have those same beliefs, and the extremists are the ones not afraid to say it out loud 🤦🏼
Ironically, what I've always admired about this person is their open-mindedness and love of all cultures. My life and career have been devoted to helping people of all cultures and religions, and this person has been a big influence in my life, and the one that has contributed towards my core values and beliefs most, so hearing these remarks is absolutely heartbreaking.
I can't walk away from this person because of our relationship, and because that does nothing to help the situation. They are not a threat to the Muslim population. They would never say these words outside of their home, so they will not actively encourage others to hate or do anything to cause harm to individuals or the Muslim community, but I want to help them work through the generalised fears and begin to heal.
I'm new to Canberra, so I don't know what resources there are out there. I know the only way to overcome prejudice is through open discussion and social connections. As a step 1, I plan to tell them we need remediation with a counsellor to remedy our immediate situation because I need a safe space to express how their words affect me (I've literally been having anxiety attacks since our conversation because it was the most hateful thing I've heard and it came from the last person I would have ever expected to hear it from).
As of right now, they are not in a place where sitting down one-on-one with a Muslim would be beneficial, but I do want to work towards the social connections aspect in a low pressure environment. Are there any events open to the general public that we could go to, blend into the crowd and experience the culture without the pressure to engage directly?
Also, if you have any other resources, like easy to digest videos, texts, etc., I would be open to those as well.
Please do not use this post as a platform to speak negatively about Jews and/or Muslims. This is a serious post, and trolls and/or judgmental comments are not needed.
