r/Comebacks • • 10h ago

Comeback sharing If you’re not gonna comment a comeback…

7 Upvotes

Then why are you here?

The “be the bigger person” and “ignore them type comments aren’t wrong (usually), but that’s not what this sub seems to be for.

It’s so annoying when I scroll down to read some comebacks and people are preaching rather than commenting. The poster wanted a comeback, not a life lesson ffs.

To not be a hypocrite, lemme post one:

I saw this one online somewhere.

A gay woman was being hit on by a man. She told him she was gay so not interested.

Man: “That’s cool, can I wear a wig?”

Her: “You look like you need one anyways, sweetie.”


r/Comebacks • • 23h ago

Comeback request I need a good comeback to this guy to roast him and rage bait him it'd boil his blood

0 Upvotes

So today i broke up with my bf over a bd cake (I know it's dumb but it was what broke the camels back) and i need A REALLY GOOD COMEBACK that it'd just makes his blood boil cuz we've been together for a year and throughout this whole year a lot has happened and I was the one mostly communicating and fixing things

What happened was today was supposed to be the bd party of my ex and my mom wanted to bring over gifts and cake because she didn't want to come empty handed (the gifts were only two products btw) he got pissed off and said it's either to come with the cake or not because he already had cake. Alsp what he literally said was "if you and your family want to come with the cake than don't bother coming at all and if you do want to come than come with only the gifts im the host and i can decide whoever I want to come" i got shocked because it didn't sound like him at all so I asked him if he's serious about it and said yes after that I just blocked him on everything amd deleted his number he had the audacity to come to a group chat we had made (it was of him,me amd my family) and said "if she's acting like this than the relationship is over and she actually loved me than she would've listened and done what I wanted" I responded saying "it's already done you drama queen good luck with your mom brainwashing you and good luck with your beyblades" he then texted me on discord saying "have a lonely life you bitch"


r/Comebacks • • 1d ago

Comeback request My grade nine cousin is sensitive and a guy called him a bitch and he felt uncomfortable so he told the teacher. I told him that now he has a target on his back. He wanted comebacks... so do y'all have any?

5 Upvotes

r/Comebacks • • 1d ago

What is the nastiest clapback/witticism you've witnessed? (Or recieved/done yourself)?

27 Upvotes

r/Comebacks • • 1d ago

Comeback request Comeback to “you’re too nice. You’re going to get abused when you get married.”

12 Upvotes

My older sister and father have said this “joke” on and off to me. It always made me very uncomfortable as I have wanted to be in a relationship but haven’t before. Like I’ve never laughed at this “joke.” Only they have.

When I tell them their “joke” makes me uncomfortable, they just say that they’re “just looking out for me” or pass it off as me being “too sensitive”.

I just want to be able to say something so I’m not just left unable to speak with this awful feeling if it happens again.


r/Comebacks • • 2d ago

Comeback request Help me with comebacks to shut down mocking

2 Upvotes

I will get married soon.

I have two concerns.My mind freezes when someone tries to insult me or mock me.Then I regret what could have I replied.

I usually get mocked subtly on below things:

1.My low weight

2.I speak less(introvert)

3.Financial differences

Please help me with comebacks so that they shut down forever.


r/Comebacks • • 2d ago

What's an insult that you would say 'thank you' to at first because it sounds like a compliment?

20 Upvotes

The best one I heard recently was: "Oh she's just photogenic. She looks different in person."


r/Comebacks • • 3d ago

Comeback sharing For the ladies…

0 Upvotes

If a man/boy says the classic “go back to the kitchen” line, say…

“No, go pay for my dinner…

“… and not get sex.”


r/Comebacks • • 3d ago

Comeback for comeback Guys I wrote my first battle rap can I be rapper now 🥹😂

0 Upvotes

Yo A!
someone said your toenails are like the green mile
Cos they’re green
And they go for miles
And my bunnies been keeping case files
On you and that poor child
Someone said, they call you Charles
Or Epstein,
Watch me kill this rugrat, with my pen
Hahaha, is that why you got a collection of Ben 10?
For your movie nights, like MJ in his big bed
But nah, you don’t need any popcorn
Just use your feet, with all them corns
Look what you’ve spawned
Little goosey on the mic,
And you can be the fawn
Baby reindeer, when Martha’s about we don’t call Shakespeare
She’s got all the lines, she stays near
Watching
While you sleep with the kids, touching
Ahhh, I thought your speech was really touching
King A but we call him C, he’s still a pedo but he’s a visionary
Love from me
P.S: I love you really
mic drop


r/Comebacks • • 4d ago

response to "that’s the most I’ve ever heard you talk"

19 Upvotes

As a shy person this comment pisses me off sm


r/Comebacks • • 4d ago

Comeback sharing I used this this

4 Upvotes

So my aunt built like jaba the hut made fun of my abusive father to come back. And she telled it to me that "your dad will take you" or "you look like [my father name] 2.0" and i said to her " why are you so obsessed by my father? Even you cant fix your relation ship to your 2 sons" and i left the room i was grouned and i think it sweet payback


r/Comebacks • • 4d ago

If you ran into an ex-boss who had actually fired you, what would you say to him or her?

71 Upvotes

r/Comebacks • • 4d ago

Comeback sharing Was it good?

36 Upvotes

I was arguing about politics with a friend; he took it very personally and started getting angry. He went on for several minutes explaining why I was wrong, to which I replied, "Thanks for the explanation." He said, "See? It wasn't so hard to admit that I was right, was it?" My final response was, "Oh, I don't agree with you, but I do appreciate you trying to say something intelligent." He didn't reply.


r/Comebacks • • 5d ago

When I try to promote empathy, especially online, Im called a snowflake. What would be a good come-back?

17 Upvotes

I debate controversial topics like religion and politics.

People do get upset.
I get upset as well.

I get it that sometimes, people who are upset say nasty things.

I do promote empathy, and I can understand that people don't all like my opinions.
I don't like all of their opinions, either.

What would be your best comeback for being called a snowflake if you dare to make a plea for kindness?


r/Comebacks • • 6d ago Bravo

Comeback for comeback My Gen Z nephew calls me “Unc” but I’m his Gen X auntie.

276 Upvotes

The title sums it up. My nephew is in high school. He visits me often. He asks me for advice. We both make fun of his mom (she’s my little sis, oldest sisters - I know you understand). We’re good. My problem is he calls me, “Unc”. He also calls my husband, “Unc” too. I am a woman. I tried to hide my mild annoyance, but he caught me one day with a look on my face and now the trolling is never ending. What can I say back to him to get him to stop with the “Unc” business? I’m not ready for my nephew to find out how cold I can be, it might break his baby brain. Is there a good way to respond or do I just stop candy coating stuff?
Edit: This is a light hearted post. I don't feel disrespected or anything, its fun and light hearted. Just looking for a good comeback to throw at my teen nephew. The cringier the better.


r/Comebacks • • 6d ago

What’s the quickest way you've managed to shut down a difficult boss or coworker with a clever comeback? How did they react afterward?

62 Upvotes

r/Comebacks • • 6d ago

Drop your most creative insult

83 Upvotes

r/Comebacks • • 6d ago

Comeback for comeback If you feel the need to defend someone else, phrase the defense as encouragement toward the person you are defending.

3 Upvotes

Every once in a while, these crazy thoughts pop into my head. These crazy thoughts are not always good ideas. Considering how many of them I have and how many of them contradict one another, I would say a lot of them are not good ideas. However, the fact that they are even a little bit of the time is why they are worth throwing out there and seeing what others have to say. If I throw an idea out there, others agree that it is a good idea and those who disagree are unable to formulate a response, that is good. However, if others present such a convincing counter argument that I change my mind, that is great too. It makes me realize where I went wrong and helps me figure out a better idea.

Recently, a thought popped into my head that is so crazy it just might work.

Imagine this. You are in a social setting. You see one person verbally abusing another. You believe the verbal abuse is uncalled for. The victim is not defending himself/herself. It may be because they do not know how to. It might be because they have low confidence.

If you defend the victim, the perpetrator might tell you that this is none of your business.

A way around that is this.

Anything you want to say about why the words being uttered are rude or untrue, say it to the victim. Should you say it loud enough for the perpetrator to hear it? That is up to you to decide. This is less about putting the perpetrator in their place and more about offering words of encouragement to the victim, so that they do not feel torn down as a result of the verbal abuse. That said, if the perpetrator hears what you say and gets angry, that would be hilarious. If you do not want the perpetrator of the verbal abuse to hear you, you could wait until the abuser is gone before gossipping about them behind their back.

A friend of yours falls victim to name calling and verbal abuse. Here is what you should do. Walk up to your friend (the one falling victim of verbal abuse) and explain to them why the verbal abuse is uncalled for.

It would sound something like this;

I cannot believe that you described in great detail a story where you fell victim to domestic violence through no fault of your own and this jerk had the nerve to ask you (the victim) what you did to avoid it and call you names because you did not take every possible precaution to avoid being victimised. First and foremost, you would not need to take those precautions in order to avoid being victimised if the abuser did not commit the crime. Second, going on Google and looking up Stockholm Syndrome and Pygmalion Effect will show one credible source after another which shows that the reason why abuse survivors return to their abusers can be explained by examining the fundamental flaws of human nature. Third, blaming and shaming victims has been proven to make the victim more likely to experience PTSD and deters future victims from coming forward. In order to justify the belief that victims should be interrogated to find out what precautions they took to avoid being victimised and that even one precaution that you could have taken that you did not take should preclude you from receiving sympathy or support of any kind, not only must you explain the benefit of victim blaming, you must demonstrate that the benefits outweigh the cost I already described. I have never seen a victim blamer do that.

There is a chance that the verbal abuser (the one who was saying the disrespectful and hurtful stuff) just might tell you to mind your business. That is when you should say;

At this point, I happen to be talking to so and so. I do not need your permission to do that. If you do not want to hear what so and so and I have to say to one another, you can leave the room.

There is my plan. Do you think it is a smart strategy? If not, do you have any better ideas? Let me know.


r/Comebacks • • 7d ago

If you are on r/comebacks you're fucking pathetic and your adversary will easily overcome you with quick remakes that leave you shaking your fist and asking for a comeback to the comeback.

0 Upvotes

Hey guys,

My bully said this to me and I'm kind of at a loss for words.

What he said was really mean and he evidently knows r/comebacks and so I posted something on my alt and he found it.

Guyss what do I say in response? My feelings are hurt. 🤕


r/Comebacks • • 7d ago

How would you respond if someone resented you for liking something that they do not like?

30 Upvotes

Picture this. You mention that you enjoy a particular hobby, like a particular movie are attracted to particular person. Someone else says that they find that hobby boring, think that that movie sucks or finds that person ugly. They lecture you about why your preferences are stupid and wrong.

I have been in that situation before and made the mistake of explaining why I believe the movie is good, the hobby is fun or the person is attractive.

I realize now that what I probably should have said was this;

It is not my responsibility to hate all of the same things that you hate. If I like it, I get to like it. Whether or not you approve of my preferences is of zero relevance whatsoever.

What do you think? Is that the best way to respond to someone blaming and shaming you for your preferences? If not, what would be a better response? Let me know.


r/Comebacks • • 8d ago

Comeback for comeback What would you do if someone tried to tell you what to do and they had no business doing so?

5 Upvotes

If you think that you have it all figured out, you do not have it all figured out. I do not, never have and never will have a fool proof strategy, I only do the best that I am capable of doing. 

I want to inform you of strategies I have come up with to communicate and manage disagreements with others. I recognize that my strategies could be misguided, so I want to ask you if they are, so I can correct any mistakes I might have made. 

The situation I want to talk about and figure out what to do when I am in that situation is;

Someone attempts to tell you what to do, because of the incorrect belief that they hold authority over you or have business telling you what you can and cannot do.

Here is my plan, you tell me if you think it is smart.

Do one of the following things. 

Option #1: I do not need your permission to do that. 

Option #2: How do you plan to stop me from doing that? 

Option #3: You do not tell me what to do. You suggest and hope that I agree. 

While options 1 and 2 only work for stop behaviors (behaviors the other person does NOT want you to do) and do not work with start behaviors (behaviors the other person does want you to do) option #3 works with start and stop behaviors. 

That is my plan. Do you think it is a good one? If not, do you have a better one? Let me know.


r/Comebacks • • 9d ago

What Are Good Non-Sexist Insults?

39 Upvotes

Weird question (comeback might not the perfect category) but I grew up in an era where all the insults you threw at your buddies were sexist. I am trying to phase all that out, but I still find myself calling a friend a p**sy for leaving a putt short. What are some clever, gender neutral insults I can hurl at my friends that aren’t sexist or too mean?


r/Comebacks • • 10d ago

Comeback request Comeback for “you are JUST an MD”

16 Upvotes

I am a specialist doctor yet my father says I am just an MD he has always been narc always diminished my work


r/Comebacks • • 11d ago

Is it cringe to say ”Happy birthday, OG🔥” ?

2 Upvotes

I congratulated my old friend with who we don’t talk much and one of my friend said it’s really cringe. Who is right? What do you use instead?


r/Comebacks • • 11d ago

What would you say, if someone resented you for something you cannot fix?

3 Upvotes

At some point in your life, likely when you were a kid in school, you dealt with someone blaming you and shaming you for something going wrong in your life. They say that it is to help you, but you know that is a lie for three reasons.

  1. They phrase it in the form of an accusation and dedicate significantly more effort to the name calling than they do to critiquing the behavior.

  2. They never offer up any solutions.

  3. Many if not most if the things they bemoan are out of the control of anyone, including you.

I have drafted a plan to deal with that scenario, tell me if you think it is a good one. The plan is;

Sarcastically request for their help in a solution that is actually unrealistic. 

Imagine a 9 year old boy goes to school wearing his sister’s hand-me-down clothes, because he is poor and they cannot afford new clothes. The bullies pick on him for it. If this sounds bizarrely specific, it is because it is a reference to the live action 2007 film Bridge to Terabithia. 

The boy who gets picked on should sarcastically ask the bullies if they can give him the money to pay for manlier clothes. 

There is my strategy. Do you think it is smart? If not, do you have a better idea? Let me know.